of parents affection to their children

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O f Parents dffefthn to t h i r

Children^

6y

fage to fome over

o t he rs ;

whereby the f trongeft and

m o ft courageous have lorded it over the weaker, and

acquired a part icular rank and reputat ion, f rom

whence i t obtained that d ign i ty o f

appe l la t i on ;

or elfe

•that thefe, being very w ar l ike nat ions, gave the

pre-eminence to the vir tues w hic h were moi l : fami l iar

to th e m , and to w h ich they had the beft t i t le . Ju f t

fo , i t is ow ing to our paff ion, and the feverifh fo l ic i tude

we have of the cha ft ity o f w om en , that a good w om an ,

a woman o f w o r th , and a wom an of honour and v i r

t ue ,

f ignify no m ore , w it h us , than a chafte w o m a n ;

as i f , to ob l ige the m to this d u ty , we were indif ferent

to

ail

the re ft, and gave the m the reins to all oth er

faul ts whatever, on con di t ion they wo uld not be g u i l t y

of incont inence.

C H A P . VJ IL

O f th e Ajfetf ion o f P a r e n t s to t h e i r Ch i ld ren*

To Madame 4 ' E S T I S S A Q

M a d a m ,

"WF

the

ftrangenefs

and novel ty o f m y

fub jee l ,

wh ich

JL are won t to give a value to th ing s, do no t fave me ,

I fhall never come off with honour from this foolifh a t

t e m p t

;

but it is fo

w h im f i ca l,

and has

fo

uncom m on an

afpedt, that t h is , perhaps, may make it pafs. I t was

a m elanch oly h um ou r, and by confequence a h um ou r

very much an enemy to m y n atura l co nf t i tu t ion , engen

dered by the ch agrin of the fol i tud e into w h ich I have

caft myielf for fome years

pair,

that f ir ft put into my

head this id le w h im o f com m encing an author: and

afterwards, being total ly deft i tute of any other

fub jedt ,

I was ob liged to tru ft to myfelf both for the thef is and

the argum ent. I t is the only bo ok of its k in d in th e

w o r l d ,

on a

plan

fo w i ld and

ex t ravagan t ;

nor is the re

any th in g w or thy of rem ark upon th is

occa f ion,

but the

F 3 w h i m -



• j ' 0

M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

whimficalnefs o f i t ; for the beft workm an in the wo r ld

co uld not have give n a fo rm to a fubjecvt fo v a in an d

fr ivo lo us , fit to recomm end i t to ef teem. N o w , M a

d a m ,

being about to draw my own picture to the l i fe,

I

mould

have for go t one feature o f im po rtan ce , ha d I

pot therein reprefented the vene rat ion w h ic h I always

pa id to you r m e r i t : and this I chofe to m ent ion in the

b eg in nin g o f the prefent cha pter, by reafon tha t a m on g

yo ur other excellent qu al i t ies , th a t o f the affect ion

w h ic h yo u have rnanifefted to you r ch i ldren has a place

i n one o f the high eft claffes. W h o e v e r hears at w ha t

age M .

d'Eftiffac,

your hu fban d, le f t you a

w i d o w ;

th e great and hon ourable matches th a t have been o ffer

ed to you,

as.

rnany as to any lady in France o f yo ur

rank ; the conftancy and fteadinefs with which you have,

for fo many years, and in oppofition to fo many crofles

^ n d di f f icult ies, fuftained the weight and management

o f the ir affairs, wh ereby yo u have been teazed in almoft

every part of

France,

and the happy t ra in you have put

the m into by your own prudence or good

f o r t u n e ;

he

w i l l be ready to fay w it h m e, tha t we have n ot , in ou r

t imes,

a mpre l ively inftance of maternal affection than

yours. G o d be prai fed, M a d a m , that i t has been

em ploy ed to fo g ood purpofe ; for the great hopes tha t

M . d'E f t i ffac , the fon , g ives o f h im fel f , are a

fufficient

w arra nt, th a t, when he comes of age, you w i l l reap f ro m

.him the obedience and grat i tud e o f a very go od fo n .

•But as, by reafon o f h is tender years, he is no t in a

capacity to take not ice o f the ma ny ex trao rdin ary

k in d offices w h ic h he has received fr o m y o u , I am

w i l l i n g th at, i f thefe papers happen t o fa l l in to his

-hands fome day when I have no fpeech left to declare

i t , he mould receive this true teftimony f r om me , wh i ch

w i l l be mo re fu l ly proved to h im by the good effects

w h i c h , w i th God 's

pe rmi f f ion ,

w i l l conv ince h i m , tha t

there is no t a gen tlema n in France wh o owes m ore to

his m othe r tha n he do es; and tha t he cann ot, for the

•future,-

give a furer teft im on y o f his goodnefs and

v i r tue ,

than by ack now ledg ing you for fo excellent a

mpther0

I f



O f P&rlnts Affefoicn to their Children.

* ] \

I f there be any law tru ly na tura l, th at is to fay, any

inft inft that is uni-verfally and perpe tually How it happens

imprinted bo th on man and bea ft, (w h ic h Hiattheaffec-

is a di fputed point) -I mav give it as my twn of parents

. . r . l y .' t> . to then- children

op in ion , that, next to the- eare w h ich j3 greater than

every an imal has o f felf-prefe rvation ,

thatofchii-

and o f avo iding every th in g that is hu rt- pa,-",^,' e'f

f u l , the affection w h ich the breeder or

tegetter bears to the offspring Hands in the fecond p lace:

and becau-fe nature feems to have implan ted it in us ,

for the purpofe of fupporting the fpecies, it is no w o n

der tha t the love o f ch ildren does not go back to the ir

parents in fo great a degree. T o w h ich we may add

this other A r i i lo te l ian n ot io n, that he wh o does a bene

f i t

to any one, loves hi m better tha n he is be loved b y

h i m ;

and he to w hom a benefit is d ue, loves m ore

than he who owes i t : fo* every artifice r is fond er o f his

workmanship t han , i f that piece of .work had fenfe,

i t would be of

h i m ,

becaufe we love exiftence, and

exiftence confifts in m ot ion and aclion : for this reafon

every one has, in fome for t , a being in his w ork . H e

who does a good office, performs an action that is

brave and h o n e d : he wh o receives i t oniy praclifes

the utile. N o w the utile is not near fo am iable as the

honefium.

T h e

honejlum

is l iable and permanent, fu p -

plying h im wh o has performed i t w i th a conftant fatif-

fa t f l ion. T h e utile lofes itf e lf, and eafily Hides away ;

nor

is the m em ory

of

it either fo

frefh

or f ragrant. T h o fe

things are deareft to us that have coft

m o l l ,

and g iv ing

is more chargeable than receiving.

Since it has pleafed G o d to endue us w it h fome capa-

eity-of -difcuffing

th ings,

to the end tha t we To ]]at end

may not be flavifhlyfiibj-edt, like the bru te men are created

animals, to the com m on laws-of nature, capable of rea-

i i • i c i i iomng.

out that we may apply ourielves to them

wi th judgment and

f r e e -w i l l;

we ou gh t indeed, to y ie ld

a l i t t le to the mere au tho ri ty o f nature, bu t not to fuffer

ourfelves to be tyrann ically hu rried away by her ; for rea

fon ou gh t to be the

fole conductor

of our incl inat ions.

Fo r m y ow n pa rt, I have a ftrange difguil to thofe pro-

F 4 pcnfities



1% M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

pcnfities

that ftart up in us w i th o u t the direc t ion and m e

diat ion o f our ju d g m e n t : as for in ftance, w h i le I am

treating of the

fub jec t ,

I cannot entertain the paffion o f

da nd l ing infants in the

m o n t h ,

when they have no ap

parent perception in the f ou l , nor fhapeofbody to make

th em am iab le ; and I never w i l l ing ly

fullered

them to

be nurfed in my prefence.

Such an affection for children as is real , and wel l re-

What ought

to

gulated> ought t0 fPring and increafe

be

the love

o f w i t h t he kn o w le d g e t he y g i v e u s o f

t h e m -

pu-ri »nts

t0 their

felves ; and

t hen ,

i f they are w or th y of

children. . ' . '

• •

. .

J ,

i t ,

natural

p ropen i i t y ,

w a l k i n g

in

the

fame pace w it h reafon, w i l l make us cherifh t hem w i th a

fondnefs truly

p a te rn a l;

i f they are othe rwife, we o ug h t

i n the fame manner to exercife our jud gm e nt o f th em b y

always fubmit t ing to reafon, notwithHanding the power

o f na ture. B u t it often happens on the

c o n t r a r y ;

and,

generally fp ea kin g, we are more fm it ten w it h the caper-

ings and filly fro l ics o f our ch ild re n , than we are after

wards w i th the i r actions when they are directed by j u d g

m e n t ; as i f we had loved th em for our p af l im e , as

m on ke ys, not as hum an beings. A n d there are

fome

w h o furnifh the i r ch i ldren bo un t i fu l ly w i th p la yth ing s,

yet grudge the leaft neceflary expence fo r the m wh en

they are grow n up . N a y , i t feems as i f our being more

niggardly and clofe-fifted to the m proceeded fr o m ou r

envy at feeing them mak e a figure, and enjoy them felves

in the wo r ld when we are on the po int o f leaving i t . W e

are vexed to fee th em tread up on ou r heels, as i f they

vranted us to be gone ; and if this fhould be real ly ou r

fear, fince fuch is the order of thing s tha t ch ild re n

can

not, to fpeak the t ruth,

exift

no r l ive b u t at the expence

o f our being and l i f e , we mould never have concerned

burfelves in get t ing them.

For my par t , I th ink i t cruelty and injuftice not to ad-

Fathers ought

to m ^

tnem into a ftiare and partnerfhip o f

admit their

chiu

our fubftance , nor to

aflbciate

them in the

theTrfubtSnc^

fecret of our domeftic

affairs whe n th ey

are capable of fuch knowledge ; and that

i t w o u ld be altogether as w ick ed for us not to

le f len,

abr idge,



0 / Parents AffeSiion to their Children:

y *

^-bridge,

and contract our own conveniencies, on

pur-

pofe to make provision for the irs, f ince we begat th e m

for tha t end . I t is un ju f t , tha t an ol d father, battered

with age, and with one foot in the grave, mould enjoy

alone, in his chimney-corner, the fubftance tha t wou ld

fuffice

for the maintenance and advancement o f feveral

ch i l d ren ;

and that he mould fuffer them to lofe the belt

o f their t im e , for w ant o f al lo w ing th em the means to

p u t themfelves forward in the fervice of the publ ic, and

the

knowledge of mankind.

T h e y are hereby drive n to a defperate purfuit o f me

thods, how uniuft foever, to provid e for their .,,

'. J . T i i • Young men

own u ip p o r t : as I have kn ow n, in m y of good fami-

t ime ,

feveral yo un g men o f good extrac- lies forced to

t i on , ib addidled to th ef t , that no correction to fupp°y ^

co uld cure the m o f i t . I knew one o f an

thfir

necef-

honourable fami ly, to whom, at the requeft

uies'

o f a brother of his , a very honeft and brave gentlemans

I fpo ke once up on this fub jec l . H e confeffed to me,

ve ry fra n k ly , tha t he had been forced into this d ir t y

road by the feverjty and avarice of his fa th e r; and th at

now he was fo accuftomed to it , that he could not leave

jt o ff : and at this t im e be ing , w it h feveral others, at

a lady's levee, he was caught filching her jew els . I t p u t

me in m in d of a f to ry, w hic h I had heard o f another

gen tleman fo habituated and acco m plifhed in this f ine

profeffion in his y o u th fu l days, th at when he came to

his paternal

eftate,

and determined to abandon the prac

t ice , he co u ld no t pafs by a (hop where there was any

th in g that he wan ted, w i thou t

ftealing

i t , though he had

the difgrace o f fend ing the money afterwards to pay for

i t . A n d I m yf e lf have feen feveral fo ad dicted to this

c r ime ,

that they could not even forbear pi l fer ing things

from their companions, though with an intent to reftore

t he m. I am aGa fcon , yet there is no vice that I am lefs

acquainted w ith than th is. I

hate

i t fome thing

more

b y

difpofition

than I condemn it by difcourfe. I have no t

fo m uch as a defire for any t h in g tha t is another m an's.

T h is province of ours is, in t ru th , a l i t t le more in dif

grace than the other parts o f the French na tio n ; and yet

we



j 4 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

ive have

feen,

in ou r t im e , feveral m e n , o f good famil ies}.

o f other provinc es, in the hands o f

j u f t ice ,

after being

convidted o f many fhocking robberies. I wifh the fa

thers are not, in forne meafure, to blame for this

vice

o f

the fons.

I f a man

fhould

te l l m e, as a no ble m an , o f v ery good

Bad excufe of un de r i landin g, once d id , that " he ho ard-

the fathers., who -(c ed up wealth for no other ufe and ad-

hoard thdr mo- « vantap-e but to make himfelf honoured

jiey

to

gain

the ,

°'

, , . .

.

.

. .

morerefpedl

and cou rted by

his

k i nd red ; and t ha t ,

from their chil- « age ha ving depr ived h im o f a l l other

"

a b i l i t y , i t was the

fole

remedy he had

*c lef t to keep up his authori ty in his family, and to pre-

" vent his fa l l in g into the contem pt and fcorn o f the

*' w or ld ( tho ug h in t r u th , accord ing to

A r i f t o t l e ,

not

" .only o ld age., b u t every in f irm ity is the pro m ote r of a-

" varice:)

th is is fay ing fo m e th in g , bu t i t is

phyfic

for

ei a difeafe of w h ic h we oug h t to a void the fource.'"

Very

miferable

is tha t fath er, w h o has

r.o

other h old

The means by of his childrens affecTtion ( i f this deferve

which a father tke name 0f affecl:ion) but the need in

Jhould procure , . , , n j r

1 /

rr r t t

therefpeftof w hic h they i tan d or his ai i if tanc e. H e

his children.

muft

render himfel f worthy of

refpedt

b y

his vir tue and

w i f d o m ,

and o f love by his bo un ty and

engaging behaviour. E ve n the ve ry allies o f a r i c h

material

have the ir va lue , and we are

accuflomed

to

have a refpecl: and reverence for the bones and reliques

o f perfons o f t rue w o rth . T h e old age of a m an w ho

has palled his days in honour, muft always be venerable,

and pa tt icular ly to his ch i ldre n, whofe m inds he m u ft

have formed to their duty by reafon, not by the necef-

fity and the need they have o f h i m , nor by roughnefs and

force.

—et errat longe med quidemfenlentid,

Qui imperium credat effe gravhis aut Jlabttus

V i quod fit, quam Mud quod amicitid adjungitur * .

And he extremely differs f r om my f tn fe,

W h o th inks the povv'r obtain 'd by vio lence

* Terrent, Adelph. acl i. fc, i .

vtr.

39.

c

.in



O f Parents Affeftlon to their Children, 7£

Can ever prove more folid and fecure,

Than that which fr iendfhip's fofter means procure.

I condemn all violence in the education of tender minds

th a t are to be trained up to honou r and l i - violence in the

be rty. Th ere is I know not wha t ferv i l i ty education of

in r ipour and conftra int , and am of opi- - children con-

" .

,

1 1 1 r demned.

mon

that what cannot be done by reaton,

prudence, and addrefs, is never to be effected by force.

I

myfelf

was b ro ugh t up after this

manner;

and they

tell me, that, in my firft f tage of l i fe, I never was whip

ped bu t twic e, and that b ut ge ntly . I intended to have

prasftifed the fame me thod w i th m y ch i ldren, who a l l

died at nurfe, except Le on ora, m y only daug hter, w ho

is fix years o ld , and upw ards : fhe never has had any

worfe correction fo r her childifli fau lts, and for the re

gulat ion of her

conduct

(by the ea'fy concurrence of her

m other 's indulgence) than wo rds, and thofe very ge ntle.

A n d , though my def i re fhould herein be

f ru f t rated,

there are other caufes to be blamed, without reproach

in g m y di fc ip l ine , w hic h I kn ow to be ju f t and natural .

I fhou ld have been more ferious, in this

refpedt,

towards

the ma les, as bo rn to lefs

fub ject ion,

and a ftate of

greater l iberty, and

fhould

have aimed to have enlarged

their hearts w it h fincerity and franknefs . I never ob -

ferved that whipping had any other effect than to ren

der thofe -who fuffered it m ore dafta rdly , or more ha r

dened

in wickednefs.

Do we wifh to be beloved by our ch ildren ? D o we de-

fire to deprive th em o f a ll occafion to w ifh The tnie

wa„

-

fo r

o u r

death

?

( t h o u g h

no

occaf ion

o f fo for

parents

to

h o r r i d a w i f h can be e i ther juf t o r ex -

S,3'1.1

tl .e,',ove of

r 1 1 tvt J7 r i • 7 7 • their children.

cu i ab l e , Jyulium Jcelus rationem babet, 1. e.

No cr ime * is found ed upon reafon) let us giv e th em

a ll the reafonable accom modations o f l ife tha t are in

our pow er. I n order to this we fh ou ld not m arry fo

yo un g tha t our age may ha ppe n, in t i m e , as i t we re, to

be confounded with t he i r s ; for this inconvenience

plunges us into many diff icult ies . I addrefs this p a rt i

cular ly to our gentry, who have l i t t le or nothing to do,

f Ex Crat. Scipionis Africani apud Tit, Liv. lib,

xxviii.

cap, 28.

and



* j 6 M o n t a i g n e ' s

E s s a y s ,

and l i v e , as they ca l l i t , o nly up on th eir efta tes ; for, as

to others w ho have th eir l ive l iho od to ge t , the num ber

and fociety o f th eir chi ld ren is an advantage to the ir

m a

nagem ent o f affairs, they bein g fo m any new tools and

inftruments

wherewi th to grow

r ich .

I was ma rr ied at th ir ty -th re e years o f age, and

c o m -

The

moft m end

Ariftotle's

o p in ion , w ho , i t is fa id, ap-

properage proved o f th i r ty - f iv e . P lato , wh o was a-

for marriage.

gainf l ;

marr iage before th i r ty , had reafoft

to r idicule thofe who enter into that f tate after f i f ty- f ive,

and he

condemns

their i f fue as unworthy of a l iment and

l i f e .

Th ales gave truer l im i ts to i t , w h o , being

preiied

by his mother to m arry whilft he was your>c}

{/.a

" It

" was no t yet t im e * ; " and being urge d again to i t ,

w he n he was advanced in years, re pl ie d , " I t was too late

" i n l i f e . " W e muft no t imp l i c i t l y refign ourfelves to

every im po r tun i ty . T h e ancient Gauls tho ug ht i t a m of t

reproachfu l th ing f for a man to have fociety w i t h a w o

m an before the age o f twe nty , and efpecially r e co m m e n d

ed i t to the men wh o defigned themfelves fo r war, to keep

the i r v i rg in i ty t i l l w el l grown in years, forafmu ch as c o u

rage is abated and diver ted by copulat ion with woman,

Ma hor congiunto a giovinetta fpofat

£ lie

o

homai

de

figli,

era

invil ilo

N e gli affetti d i

padre,

e d i marito

£ .

But now he has a fpoufe that 's young and fair , -»

H i s courage is abated, and his care I

H i s w i fe and chi ldren a l l be tw ix t th em

fhare.

J

MuleafTes,

k in g o f T u n is , wh o was

reftored

t o h is d o m i

nions b y the em peror Charles V . reproached the m em or y

o f h is fa ther M ah om et, for kee ping fo m uc h comp any

w i th the wom en, c a l l ing h im " loofe, effem inate, and a

" ge tte r o f ch i ld re n. " T h e Greek hiftory obferves of

Iccus

§ the T aren t ine , C hry f fo , A f t y l l u s ,

D i o p o m -

• Diogenes Laert. in the Life of Thales, lib. i. fe£t. 26.

' -J- What Montaigne afcribes hereto the Gauls, Ciefarfays exprefsly of

the Germans,

de Bello

Gallico, lib . vi. i%ui

diutiffime impuberes pertnan-

Jerunt,

maximam

inter

fuos jerunt

laudem,

&c.

\ II Taffo Gierufalem liberata , Canto x . Stanza 39.

§

In a ll the editions of Montaigne that I

conld

ever get

a

fight of, not

exceptiug the translation by M r.

Cotton,

it is Jecus indeed of

lccus.

pus

'»



O f Parents Afftttion to their Children. ' j j

pus ,

and others, th at, for the fake of keep ing their b o

dies in due ftrength for fervice at the O ly m p ic gam es,

wre f t l i ng , and the lik e exercifes, they denied themfelves

a ll com m erce w it h Venus as lo n g as that fervice

lafb-

ed * . Th ere is a certain coun try in th e Spanifh W e l t

Ind ies , where the men are not allowed to m arry t i l l they

are turned o f f o rt y , and yet the gir ls are pe rm itted to do

i t at ten . I t is no t t im e for a gentleman o f thirty-five

years o ld to give place to his fon w ho is twen ty , he be -

ing

him fe lf in a capacity to ferve in w arl ike ex pe dit ions,

or

at

his prince's c ou rt, and ha ving fo m uc h

need of

al l

his accoutrem ents, that tho ug h he ou gh t certainly to

par t wi th a fhare to his fon, yet it mould not be fo great

as to leave himfelf un furnifh ed : and fuch a one m ay

juft ly m ake ufe o f the fay ing comm on in the m ouths o f

fa thers :

" I have no m in d to put off my cloaths before

"

I go to b e d ."

B ut a father wh o is bowed d own w ith old age and i n

f irmities, and dep rived o f the com m on fo- , c

-1 .

L •

,: , • t i i • , r i -A father that is

ciety or m an kind by his weakneis and Superannuated

want of heal th, in jures both himfel f and

?ush"° Sive UP

i

•

r -i i i j - _

r

his eftate

to his

ms

fa m i ly, by bro od ing, to no purpofe,

qWM.

over a great heap o f treafure. H e has lived lo ng e-

nough , i f he be wife, to have a defire to ftrip, I do no t

mean, to his

f k i n ,

but to his

f h i r t ,

and a wa rm

n igh t

g o w n ,

and take to his bed-cham ber, furren de ring a ll

other grandeur, of which he has no further ufe, to thofe

to w h om it ou gh t to belong by the law of nature. I t is

but reafon that he fhould leave the ufe of it to the m , fee

in g nature has deprived h im o f the enjoym ent o f i t ;

othervvife there is , undoubtedly, ill-nature and envy in

the cafe. T h e greateft adtion that ever was performed

b y the emperor Charles V , was w he n, in im ita t io n o f

fome of the ancients o f h is qu a lity , he confeffed, that

reafon plainly commands us to ftrip

ofFour

cloaths when

they grow too heavy and cum berfom e, and to l ie do wn

when our

le^s

fa i l us : for when he fou nd h im fel f

def i

cient o f the fp ir i t and ab i l i ty for co nd uc ting

affairs,

w i th

*

Pbtode

Legibus,

lib-,

viii. p.

6-47.

the



5 ^ 8 M o n t a i g n e ' ? E s s a y s :

the g lo ry w h ic h he had there in ac qu ired , he refignecT-

his revenues, grand eur, and powe r to his fo n .

Solve

fenefcentem

mature

fanus equum,

ne

Peccet ad

extremum

ridendus, et ilia ducat

*<;

The o ld worn courfer in good t ime

d i fmi fs ,

Le f t fa l l i ng in the race fpeftators hi fs.

T h is fau l t o f a man's not kn ow ing h im fe l f in t im e ,

and of being infenfible of the feeblenefs and extreme al

terat ion w hic h age natural ly br ings w ith i t , and w h i c h ,

in my opin ion, equal ly affects bo th the fou l and bo d y,

(and the f ou l , perhaps, as m uc h m ore again than th e

body) has funk the reputat ion o f moffc of the great men

in the w or ld. I have kn o w n , in m y t im e, and been i n

t im ate ly acquainted w ith

fome

perfonages in great po wer,

w h o , i t was eafy to d i fcern, were ftrangelv lapfed from

the ab il i ties w h ic h I was fure they were once endued

w it h b y the re pu tat ion they had acqu ired in the ir beft

days : an d, for the fake of their h on our, I have w ifh e d

them

at hom e at their eafe, di fcharge d of the ir p u b l ic

and m i l i ta ry em ploym ents, w hic h were gro w n too heavy

for the ir m oulde rs. I was for m er ly very fam il iar in the

houfe o f a gentlem an who was a w ido w er, and very

o l d , yet he arty, wh o had feveral daughters m arr iage ab le,

and a fon too of r ipe years. Such a fa m ily br ou gh t u p

on h im many v i f i ts , and a great expence, w h ic h he d id

not much l ike, not on ly in regard to f rugal i ty , but much

lefs becaufe, by reafon o f his age, he had take n up a

courfe of l i f e far different fr o m ours. I laid to h i m ,

one da y, a l i t t le free ly, as I ufed to do , tha t i t w o u ld be

com e h im better to give place to us , to let his fon have

his pr incipal houfe, ( that being the only one he had that

was convenient and well farniihed) and to retire to an

eftate he had ha rd b y , where nobody w o u ld tro ub le his

repofe, becaufe he could not

otherwife

avo id our im po r

t u n i t y , considering the condi t ion of h is chi ldren. H e

to o k m y advice afterwards, and fou nd benefi t by i t . I

do not mean, tha t a m an fliould m ake over w hat he has to

* Horat. lib, i, ep,

i .

ver.

8, 9,

his



Of Patents JjfeStion to their Children. f y

f tis ch ildren in fuc h a manner as to difable h im fr o m re

t rac t ing . I

myfelf,

w ho am ju f t at the age for ad in g th e

fame pa rt, w ou ld let them have the enjoyment o f m y"

houfe and fubftance, b ut w it h a power o f revoc ation, i f

they gave me occafion for

i t :

I w ould leave the m the

ufe thereof, becaufethey w ou ld be no longer proper fo r

me ; and , as to the au tho ri ty over the w h ole , I w ou ld re-

ferve to myfel f juf t what fhare of i t I tho ug ht f i t , ha v

in g ever been o f op inio n , that i t muft be a great fat if-

fad:ion

to an aged fathe r, for h im fe lf to p u t his

children

into

the way of managing his affairs,

and to

have power,

d ur ing h is l i fe , to controul their behaviour, fupplying

them

w i th in f t rudion and advice f rom his own fund of

experience, and for h im fel f to d ir e d his fucceflbrs irt

the w ay of p refe rvin g the ancient hono ur and order o f

his fa m il y , and by that means be fure of not

bein°-

d i f -

app ointed in the hopes he may conceive o f their fu tu re

c o n d u d ; to this end I wo uld not avoid the ir com pan y,

bu t wou ld have'a ftrid eye over them , and pa rtake, as

far as m y age w ou ld pe rm it, o f their

feafts

and jo l l i t y .

I f I did not l ive amongft th em , (w hic h I could not do

w ith o u t fp oi l in g their m irt h by the morofenefs of m y

age,

and the com plaint of m y ai lm ents, and w itho ut

pu t t i ng a conftraint upon the rules and forms of l iving

I

fhould

then have

eftablifhed)

I would at

leaft

live near

to th e m , in fome part of m y houfe, not the belt for

fhew,

but the moft comm odious. I w ould not be l ik e

a dean of St . H i l a ry o f P o id ie rs , w ho m I faw, fome

years ago , abandoned to fuch a folifary ret irement, by

reafon o f his m elancho ly, th a t, when I entered h is

cham ber, he had never ftirred out of i t in twenty two

years,

and yet all his motions were free and eafy,

favlng

a rheu m that had fa llen upon his lungs. H e w o u ld

hard ly fuffer anybod y to come and fee h im once a w eek ,

but a lways kept himfel f fliut up in his chamber, alone,

except

th i t

he had

fornething

bro ug h t to h im once a day

to eat, by a fervant, who did bu t juft come in and go ou t

again. His em ployme nt was w alk ing up and down the

r o o m ,

and reading a bo ok , ( fo r he had a (m atter ing o f

learning) be ing obftinately bent to die in-thi-s

ret i reme nt,



2 6 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

as he did

fbon

af ter . I w ou ld endeavour, b y eng aging

converfat ion, to breed a l ively and unfeigne d fr iendship '

and good-will in m y ch i ld ren towards m e, w h ic h , i n

well-difpofed mindsj is not hard to d o ; for, i f they are

mad brutes, of which this age produces' thoufand's, we

muft

then abhor

andfhun

t hem.

I hate the cuftom o f for b id d ing chi ldren to ca l l the i r

Children ought father h?the name of fatiier> and en jo jn -

iiot to be forbid in g th em to ufe an oth er, as m ore reve ren -

to call them by

t \ a \ .

a3 j f natUre had not fufficiently p r o

ber,

v ide d for the ef ta b l i f l im en : o f our au tho

r i t y . W e invoke the A lm ig h ty G od by the ftyie o f Fa

the r , and yet fcorn that our ch i ldren fhould cal l us fo ;

This is an error * w hic h I have reform ed in m y fa m i ly .

It is alfo fo l ly and injuftice to depr ive chi ldren, when

Children that Srown UP> o f , fam i l ia r i ty w i th the ir fa -

are grown up thers, and to th in k to keep the m in awe

ought to be ad- anc[ obedience by their fathers alTuminp;

lrntted to a

fa-

n •,

Jr ...

°

miliarity with an auitere and lupercihous countenance

their fathers. tow ard s th e m . F o r i t is a mere farce

t h i s , w h ic h , fo far f rom anfwering the end, renders the

fathers difagreeable to their ch i ldr en , an d , w ha t is worfe,

r id ic ulo us . T h e y have yo uth and vig ou r o f the ir fide,-

confequen'tly the countenance and favour of the wor ld,

and only lau gh , w i th contem pt , a t the haughty,- ty ra n

n ica l , and fcarecrow looks of a m an wi th o u t b loo d ei ther

i n his heart or his veins : th o ug h I co uld m ak e myfelf

feared, yet I had much rather be loved.

T h e re are fo m any var ious defects in o ld age, fo m u ch

Inftance

of

an

d i fa b i l i ty , and i t is fo l iable to co nte m pt,

old man who th at the belt purcha fe fu ch a m an can

aiming to be

m ake is the love and kindne fs o f his

formidable, be- £ .

came contemp- fa m il y , co m m and and ter ror b e in g n o

tlble-

longe r his weapons. I have k n o w n a

certain m an , w h o , h av ing been very infolen t in his

* The good King Henry IV. reformed it alfo in his family, for Pere-

fix

fays,

he would not have his children call him

Monfieur,

or Sir, an

appellation which feems to make the father and the children ftrangers,

and which is a mark of

fubjeftion

and

fiavery

; but that they fhould

call him Papa or Father, an appellation of love and tendernefs. Hiftory

of Henry the Great, p. 503,

y o u t h ,



O f Parents Affection to the ir Children. 8 r

yo u th , when he came to be o ld , th ou gh he was in as goo d

he alth as co uld be, yet w ou ld lay about h i m , bite his

teeth ,

fvvear, ftorm, and

bluftcr

more than any bully in.

Franc e, a prey to his ow n jealo ufy and vigilance ; and

a l l

owino;

to the com bination of his fa m ily , wh o have the

command of the belt {hare of his barn, cel lar, and

m o -

ney-cheft, though he wil l fooner part with his eyes than

the keys in his purfe : w hile he hugs h im fe lf wi th the

fru g a l i ty and niggardl inefs o f his table, in al l the de

tached parts o f his houfe there is n oth ing bu t r i o t i n g ,

play, and

profufion

of expence, and cra ck ing of joke s

at his fruitlefs cho ler and ca utio n. Eve ry one is a cen -

tinel againft h i m , and i f , by accident, any wretch tha t

ierves him takes his part, they inftantly make him l iable

to his fu fp ic io n , this be ing a b ait tha t o ld age is apt e-

n o u g h ,

o f i t fel f , to fnap at. H o w oft has this gen tle

m an boafted to me in what great awe he ke pt his fa m il y ,

and how exact an obedience and reverence

they paid

h im

H o w clearly d id this man fee into his ow n affairs

llle Jolus

nefcit

omnia * .

Yet he alone is ignorant of all*

I do not know any man that can mufter more parts, both

natural and acq uired, proper to m aintain fuch a d o m i

n ion ,

than he, yet he has no more com m and of the m than

a c h ild : therefore I have f ingled h im ou t, as the mod

exem plary inftance o f al l tha t I kn ow o f fuc h a temp er.

It

were a

fubjedt fufficient

for a

queftion

in the fchools,

" W h e th e r he is better thus than other-wife ? " I n his

prefence a ll fubmit to him, and give fo much way to his

van ity , tha t nobody ever refi lls h im : he is as much be

l ieved,

feared, and

refpected

as his heart can

def ire:

Does

he give a difmiffion to a fervant ? he packs up his bun

d le , and is gone , bu t it is no farther than ou t o f his

prefence : the pace o f o ld age is fo flo w , and the fenfes

then fo confufed, that the discarded per fon wi l l live and

officiate , as be fore , in the fame houfe, a year togeth er,

wi thout be ing

perce ived;

and , when it is a proper fea-

* Terence

Adelpli. a£t

iv. fc, i . ver 9.

V o l . I I . G fon ,



8? M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

for i , letrcrs are pretended to come from a great way

off^

very p i t i f u l , fup p l ian t , and fu l l o f p romi ies o f am end

m en t, by vi r tu e of w h ic h he is again received int o fa

vo ur . Does MonSieur m ake any b ar ga in, or fend away

anv difpatch that does not pleafe

?

it is

fuppref fed,

and

reafons enough invented af terwards, to excufethe fa i lure

of the execut ion, or of the

anfwer.

As no firange le t

ters are brought to him in the

firft

place, he never fees.

any but thole that are thought f i t to be communicated ;

i f, by accident, they

come

f ir f t to his

hand ,

as he is

ufed

to tru ft a certain perfon to read th em to h i m , he

reads,

extempore, what he pleafes, and every now an d

then makes Such a one afk his pardon in the fame

lettef

"'herein he abufes h i m . In f ine , he fees n o th in g bur

by

fome fiction -prepared

and precon certed, and

themofr.

Satisfactory tha-t can be invented, for fear of roufing his

ch ag rin and cho ler. I have feen enough o f lo n g and

conftant

fcenes

of

ccconomy

of different

f o rms ,

but

al l to

the fame effect.

W o m e n a/re always apt to crofs their hufbands i n c l i -

r>\A ~ s» n a t i o n s * . Thev lay h o l d , w i t h bo th

hand s,

Old men

oe-

•> J ' '

ceived by their o n a l l occasions t o q u a r re l w i t h t h e m , a n d

V V 1 V C E the firft excuSe ferves for a plenary ju s t i f i

cat ion.

I knew one w h o made no

confeience

to rob her

huSband by wh olefalc, th a t , as fhe to ld her

confefibr,

Ihe m ig h t have the more to g ive in cha r i ty . N o m a

nagement feems to the m of Sufficient dignity r i f proceed

in g f rom the husband's

conceff ion.

T h e y muft ulurp it,.

either by craft or iniblence, and always injuriously, in or

der to give it a grace ami au thority : as in the cafe

L a m ,

Speaking of, when it is again St a poo r o ld m a n , and in-

favou r of the ch i ldr en , then they ma ke a handle of th is

plea, and render it fubfervient to thek paffion w i t h g l o

r y ;

and,,

as in a co m m on Servitude,

eafrly

cabal

rgainft

his do m inion and gov ernm ent. I f they be males-grown

u p and flourishing, the y alfo Suddenly Suborn, either by

* What I here

fay is not to

approve, but only to

explain

Montaigne'sopinion

;

for, perhaps,

1

have feen

as

many hufbands violently thwart

ing their

wives,

as wives that

are

fond of croifuig their lwlbands.

forced



O f Parents AffeBion to their Ch ildren. 83

force or fav ou r, the fteward, the rent-gathe rer, and

all the reft.

Thole

men who have neither wife nor

c h i l d ,

fa l l not

fo eafily in to this m is fo rtu ne , b u t , when others by their

they do, they fuffer more cru e lly and u n - domeftics.

deferv ing ly. O ld Cato

fa id ,

in h is t im e ,

" So

many fer-

" van ts, fo many enem ies." Confider

t hen ,

whether,

according to the difference betwixt the purity of the age

he l ived in , and the co rrupt ion o f the prefent, he d id no t

mean to advertife us, tha t w ife ,

fon ,

and ferva nt are

(o

many enemies to us. I t is o f good fervice to decrepid

old age, that i t furnifhes us wi th infenfibility and igno

rance,

and a fac i l i ty o f being deceived. F or, did we

fee and repine at it, what would become of us, efpecially

in fuch an age as th is , when the jud ge s, wh o are to de

cide our controverfies, are generally pa rtial to the y o u th ,

and interefted in the caufes

?

I n cafe th a t I ftiould no t

difcover this fraud, I cannot, at leaft, fai l to difcern that

I am liable to be chea ted, and can a man ever exto l a

fr iend too m uc h in com pa nion w ith thefe c iv i l ties ?

T h e very image o f it , w h ich I fee fo pure in beafts, how

do I adore it I t others cheat m e, at leaft I do no t de

ceive myfelf in thinkinglam able to guard againft them,

or in cudgel l ing my brains

how

to avoid

their

fhares.

I

protect myfelf from fuch treachery in ray own bo fom,

not by a reft lefs and tu rb u len t

cur io f i tv ,

bu t rather by

m ir th and refo lut ion . W h e n I hear ta lk of any one's

cond i t ion , I do not give my fe l f a thought about h im ,

bat I

prefently

look into myfelf to fee how it is with me :

whatever touches another, concerns me : the accident

tha t has b efallen h im is a w arn ing to m e, and

roufes

m y atten tion on tha t fide : every day and every ho ur

we fay things o f another, w h ich we m ig h t more pro

perly fay oi ourfelves, could we but call our obferva-

tions ho m e, as w ell as extend them ab roa d: and feveral

authors have, in this man ner, prejudiced the ir ow n

caufe,

by running precipi tately againft that which they

attack, and

d.irting

thole

very fhafts againft their ene

mies,

tha t m ig h t, w ith greater advantage, be caft back

upon themfelves.

G 2 Th e



84 M o n t a i g n e ' s Ess

A y ? .

Tbe late marflial de Monluc hav ing loft h is Ion , wli(>

Fathers ought to ^ied *n tne i^and o f M ad eira , and was, iti

exercife a

farm- t r u t h , a bra've ho pe ful yo un g ge ntle m an ,

liarity with their difcovered to m e , amongft his other

children when . . . D .

they arecapaWe cacries ot regret t ing h i m , what a ior row

ot

lt-

i t was to h i m , tha t he ha d never been

fami l ia r w i th h im ;

and

th at , by the hu m ou r o f p aterna l

gravity and gr imac e,he had lof t the advantage ot f o u n d

in g and tho rou gh ly k no w ing h is fon , and

alfo

o f de

claring t o h im the ex t raordinary love he had for h i m -

and the worthy opinion he had of Ms v i r tue . " W h e r e -

"

as, faid he, the poor y o u th never faw me w it h any

"• other countenance towards h im b u t w h at was fterii

" and d i fd a in fu l , and has left th is w o rld w it h a be l ief

" tha t I neither knew how to love nor efteem h im ac-

"

co rdin g to his m er i t . Fo r w h om d id 1 referve the

"• difcoveryof

that l ingular

affection

w i t h wh i ch I

loved

<c hii'n f ro m m y fou l ? O ug h t not he h im fe l f to have

" had a ll the pleafure o f

i t ,

and a l l th e ob l igat io n ? I

" coilitrained and even tortured myfelf to wear the f i l ly

" m a lk , and by tha t means loft the pleafure o f his con -

" ver fa t ion,

and his incl ina t ion into the bargain ', w h ic h

*i

co uld not bu t be very cold towards m e,

as

I ha d

a l -

*' ways t reated him ro u gh ly, and more l ik e a ty ra n t than

" a tender fath er . " I th in k this co m pla int o f his was

w e l l founded and r a t i o n a l : for, as I kn ow b y too certain

experience, there is no confolation fo

fweet,

in the

lofs

of our fr iends, as the confeiouihefs o f hav ing acfted to

them without referve, and of having had a

perfect.

and

in t i re communica t ion w i th them.

O

my f r iend

* , am

I

the better for having been fenfible o f th is , or a m I the

w o r k ? I am ver i ly mu ch the better for i t . T h is

lamerf-

ta t io n for the lofs is bo th a co m fort and an ho no ur to

m e : is it not a pious and pleafing office o f m y l i fe to be

always celebrating my fr iends obfequies ? Can there be

any poffef i ion fo valuable as this pr iva t io n ? I open my

• This apoftrophe is

addrefTed,

by our author, to his friend

LaBoe-

flus, as it plainly appears by the difcourfe upon his death, written and

publilhed by Montaigne himfelf, and which you will find at the end of

this edition of the liflays.

m i n d



O f Parents Afftclion to their Children. 8$

mind to m y fam i ly as m uch as I can, and very w i l l i n g

ly let the m know how they and every one elfe ftand in

m y op inion and incl in at io n. I am eager to br in g ou t

and expofe

myfelf

to the m , being u nw i l l in g they

mould

,be miftaken in me in any thing. Amongft other par

t icu lar cuftoms o f our ancient G au ls, one was, as Csefar

fays, that the fons never came into the prefence o f their

fathers, nor d ur ft be feen abroad in their com pany t i l l

the y began to bear arms ; thereby im p o rt in g , that then

alio was the t im e when the fathers ad m itted them to

th eir fam i l iar i ty and acquaintance*.

I have alfo kno wn another k in d o f indifcretion in

fome

fathers of m y t im e , wh o not con -

~,

,

,,

„

. . - ' . '

The

hnrclheart-

tent with d ep r iv ing the ir ch i ldren,

aur-

ednefsaf fathers

in g the ir ow n lon g l ives, of the

(bare w ip deprive

o o j ^ their ctiilciren oi

they ought naturally to have in their

the produce of

fortunes, when they come to d ie , transfer their eftates,

.1 • • .1 r ii even after their

to their wives the lame power over a ll death.

the ir goods and ch attels, and l ibe rty to

.difpofe thereof as they pleafe, A n d 1 knew a certain

nob leman,

one of the chief off icers of our crown, that,

by r ight o f

fucceff ion,

had an

expectancy

of about

fi f t y tho ufan d crowns revenue, who died neceffitous,

and m uch in de bt, at above fifty years o f age,

at the fame tim e that his mo the r, wh o was a dec repid

o ld woman, ft i l l c ontinue d in poffeffion o f his who le

eftate

by order of his father, who had l ived to near four-

fcore,

I do no t th in k this at al l reafonable.

I am therefore o f op inio n, that i t is o f very l i t t le

advantage to

a

m an who is in good cir-

.

. .

. t> °

, A great jointure

cumltances

to court a w om an who the ruin of fa-

fhall charge his eftate w ith a great j o i n -

miiies.

tu re , there be ing no foreig n debt th at is m ore ruinous to

fam il ies. M y anceftors, in general, fou nd the ir account

by this ca utio n, an d fo have I. B ut the y who diffuade

us f ro m m arry in g r ich w om en, le ft they fhould not

prove fo tradtable and re fpe f t f u l , are w ron g in ad vif ing a

• DeBelloGallico, lib. t i .

G $ man



grj M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

man to mifs a real advantage fo r fuch a cont ingency.

Un reafonab le wom en have no rega rd to one considera

t ion more than

another:

they are fondeft of their own

opinions when they are

mol l

in the wrong.

Injustice

is

as te m p t in g to the m as the hon our o f v i r tuou s actions

is to good

w o m e n :

and the r iche r they be , the m ore

complaifant the y arc, as the greatefl beauties take the

molt p leafure and pr ide in being

chalte.

It is butreafon to leave the administration of eftates

widows muft be t0 the m othe rs, t i l l the ch i ldre n are o f age

left

in

a

capacity by law , to manage t h e m ; b u t the fath er

to fupport their has b rought them up very i l l inde ed, i f

condition. , , D r L , J , ,

he has not reaion to hop e,

tha1-,

when

they come to years of m a tu r i ty , they w i l l have m ore

wifdom and capacity than h is w ife , confidering the

weaknefs of the fex : yet in t r u th , i t w ou ld be m uc h

more unnatural to make the mothers dependant on the;

d ifcre t ion o f the ir ch i ldren : they ou gh t to have a

p len

t i f u l provifion wh erewi th to m ainta in themfelves ac

co rd ing to the con di t ion o f their fam i l ies, and their

t ime o f l i f e , foralmuch as poverty is much more un

suitable and intolerable to them than to the males ; and

the bu rthe n ou gh t therefore to be laid rather upo n the

chi ldren than the mother.

I n general, the m oft jud icio us dis tr ibut io n o f our ef-

The

moftpru- tateS '

WnCn We COme t0

d ^ e >

lS > m m)r °P"1_

dent

diflribu- n i on ,

to leave the m to be difpo fed of acc ord-

tionof eftates ing to the cuftom of the cou ntry. T h e laws

before death. . => . . _ , . . ; . ,

have more nicely considered this point than

we have, and it were better to let them be deficient in

their choice, than that we mould ra lhly run the hazard o f

m ifc a rry in g in ours. Th e eitates are not pro pe rly our o w n ,

Since,

by a c iv i l pre fcr ip t ion , and excluf ive o f our

con

cu rrence, th ey are decreed to certain fu cc effo rs: an d ,

a l tho ug h we have fome l iber ty beyond tha t , yet I th in k

we ought not , wi thout great and

manifeft

caufe, to

take

away that f rom any pne w hic h he has acquired by fo r

t une ,

and to which common

juSlice

gave h im a t i t le ;

i t be ing an unreafonable abufe of this l ibe rty to ma ke

i t



O f Parents Affettion to their Children. 87

it fub fervien t to our ow n fr ivolo us and private fancies,

I t has been m y good fo rtun e, that no opp ortunit ies

have fal len in m y way to tem pt me , and to dive rt m y

affect ion fro m the

common

and legal ins t i tut ion , I

know fome perfons whofe friend sh ip it is impoffible to

fecure by a long feries o f good offices. One word i l l ta

ken obliterates the merit often years. H a p p y is the man

who is prepared to foothe their go od-w il l at this laft paf-

fage.

T h e ac tion tha t was laft pe rformed carries i t , the

operation depend ing not up on the beft and the moft

f re

qu en t offices, b u t upon tho le tha t are m oft recent :

thefe are people that play with their laft wil ls and tefta-

ments,

as w it h apples and rods, to gratify or cha ft ife

every action of thole who pretend to an intereft in their

regard. I t is a matter o f too great length and conie-

quence to be thus bro ug ht upon the carpet at every

t u rn , and what wife men are fixed in once tor a l l , hav

in g a regard , above all thin gs , to reafon and the pu blic

obfervance. W e are, in

fhorr,

too tond of thefe mafcu-

line fubf t i tu t ions, and ridiculoufty th in k to make our

names thereby laft to etern ity. W e alio lay too great

ftrefs on the vain

conjectures

of what

fhall

happen here

after, from the remarks we make on the understandings

o f ch i ld ren . Perhaps I m ig h t have had inju ft ice done

me in being turned out of

niv

rank for having been the

dulleft b lockhe ad, and the longed: and mof t u nw i l l ing

in ge tt ing m y leffon, not on ly o f al l my brothers, b u t

of al l the boys in my native province, whether it was a

leffon for the exercife of the understanding, or of the

bod)r.

I t is a fo l ly to make extraordinary elections by

pla cin g any cred it in thefe div ina tions, wherein we ara

fo

often deceived. I f this rule o f prim og en iture was to

be viola ted , and the deStinies to be corrected in the

choice they have made of our he irs, i t m ig h t be done

more plauf ibly upon the obfervat ion of fome remarkable

and enormous de form ity o f the bod y, a fau lt that is con

stant, and never to be amended,and what we (the French)

who are great adm irers of beaut)', th in k a prejudice or.

no Small importance.

G 4 Th e



88 M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s .

T h e pleafant dia log ue , b et w ixt Plato the legi f lator

Plato's opinion an<^ ^is fe l low-ci t izens, wi l l do honour to

that the diipcfi- th is pa ffage* . " W h a t , fa id t hey , when

tion

of

ettates « ^ y founcj

the ir end approaching;, may

fliould be regu- J , r r r r r . °J J

lated

by the

(e we

not

dilpoie

or our own to w ho m we

laws- " pleafe ? G oo d G o d , how cruel is th is

" T h a t i t {ha l l not be lawrful for us to give w ha t we

" pleafe, m ore or lefs, to thofe abo ut us, ac co rding as

' ' they have ferved us in f icknefs, in old age, and in our

"

affairs

?

T o wh ic h the legif lator makes anfwer in this

<£ man ner, Y e , m y friends, w ho are no w , w i th o ut quef-

" t i on , very foon to die, i t is hard for y o u , either to k no w

" yourfelves, or what is yo urs , acc ording to the D e lp h ic

"

in fer ip t ion.

I , who make the laws, am o f op in ion , tha t

"

yo u neither are yourfelves your o w n ,

nor

is that yours

" o f w h ich yo u are poflefled : both your goods and you

"

belon g to yo ur fam il ies, as w el l the futu re as the pa ft ;

<e bu t yet bo th your fa m i ly and your goods do m u c h

ec more appertain to the p ub lic : wh erefo re, for fear left

"

any flatterer in your o ld age, and in your ficknefs, o r

" any paffion of your ow n, fho uld unfeafonably folicit

*•' \*ou to make an unjufl w i l l , I w i l l guard you againft

" i t : bu t , having refpedt bo th to the un iver fa l intereft o f

"

the ci ty , and that o f your fa m i ly in pa r t icular , I w i l l

" cilabliih

laws, and m ake i t appear, fr o m rea fon, tha t

" pa rt icular benefit ou gh t to give place to the c om m on

<c benefit: go then ch ea rfully where hu m an nece ffity calls

v'' you : i t is m y pro vin ce , wh o have no m ore refpec t to

" one th in g than another, and w h o , as m uc h as in m e

"

l ies, am m in d fu l o f the pu bl ic concern, to take care

iC

o f what

fubftance

you leave behind."

To return to my

f u b j e d t ;

I am fu l ly o f op in ion , that

•Tis dangerous ^"uc^ women are ver)' rare ly b or n, to w ho m

to leave it in the pre rogative over the m e n , excep t th a t

the power of

the which

is m aterna l and na tu ra l, is in any f or t

widows to (hare . . . . r . . 7 J

the fucceflion of due,un lels it be for the punilhment of thofe

thefathers a- w h o , by

fome

amorous paff io n, have

v o l u n -

di°nf 1CirC ' ' tarlly

fu bm i t ted themfelves to them ; b u t

this does no t at a ll conce rn the o ld ladies o f

* DeLegibus, lib.

xi,

p. 96,9, 970. Edit, Wcchel.

Ficini.

w h o m



Of Parents AffeBlon to their Children. 89

w h om we are now fpeaking . T h is confideration it is

w h ich made us f rame , and fo w i l l i n g ly

fubmit

to that

law, never vet feen by any one, which excludes women

f rom fucceeding to the crown o f Fra nc e; and there is

ha rdlv a lord fhip in the w o rld where i t is not pleaded,

as w ell as here, by the prob ab il i ty o f the reafon w h ic h

gives i t au th o r i ty ; tho ug h for tune has given i t mo re

credit in fome places than in others. I t is dangerous to

leave the difpofal o f our inheritance to the ir jud gm en t ,

accord ing to the preference they give to the ch ild re n ,

which is, every now and then, unjuft and capr ic ious:

for the fame irregu lar appetite, and depraved

rafte,

w hic h they have d u r in g the t ime o f their pregnancy,

thev always retain in their m in d . "We co m m on ly fee

them

fond

of the weakeft and m oft r ick ety ch i ldre n, or

of tho fe tha t are ft i l l hanging at their breafts: for, not

hav ing

fufficient ftrength

o f reafon to

chufe

and em

brace that which deferves it, they are the more apt to

luffer themfelves to be

fwayed-

by the mere impremons

of na ture ; l ik e thofe animals th at know their yo un g

no longer than while they give them fuck.

As to w ha t rem ains, experience p lainly fhews, tha t th is

natural affedtion, to wh ic h we afcribe fo

m u c h au th ori ty , has a very flender roo t.

J ^

Z t ™ Z

t o r a very fmall pro fit, we every day force tural affeftion of

ch i ldren fr o m the arms of their mo thers, ™°'iers t0 their

r . ' children.

and ma ke the m take charge or ours in

the ir room . W e

oblige

them to turn over their infants

to fome p i t i f u l nur fe, to wh ich we di fdain to co m m it our

o w n ,

or to fome fhe-g oa t; not only forb idd ing them to

give the m fu ck , be they in ever fo m u ch danger, b u t

even to take any manner o f care of th e m , tha t their at

tendance may be w ho lly em ployed upon ou rs: and we

fee,

in moft of them, an adulterate affection foon k i n d

led by c u fi o m , an affedtion that is more vehem ent than

the na tu ra l, and greater care taken for pre ferv ing the

nurfe-children

than the ir ow n.

As for wh at I was fay ing of goats, i t is co m m on , a ll

abou t where I l i v e , to fee the co un try -^ omen, when they

have no brcaft-milk of their own for their ch i ld re n, to

cal l



go M o n t a i g n e ' s E s s a y s :

ca l l the goats to the ir aff i f lance : and I have tw o lac-

The affeaion of <l"eySj at th is inf ta nt , w ho never fuc ke d

goats to children womans m i l k m ore than a week after they

which they give

wcre

b o rn . T h ef e goats are

perfectly

fuck to.

j / -

1 i i • r j

t augh t tocome and iuck le the in ran t s ,and ,

knowing the i r vo ices when they cry, they run to them:

i f any other infan t be pu t to th e m , they w i l l n ot let i t

fu c k , nor w i l l the infa nt fu c k any other go at. I faw

one, the other day, f rom whom they had taken the goat

that

ufed

to

nourifh

i t , by reafon the father had on ly

borrowed i t o f a ne igh bo ur ; bu t the ch i ld w o uld not

touch any other they could br ing, and undoubtedly died

o f hu ng er. T h e na tura l affection o f beafts is as eafi ly

altered an d vi t ia te d as ours. I believe there are m ore

miflakes than one, in what Herodotus wr i tes of a ce rtain

place in L ib y a , where he fays the w om en are in co m

m o n ,

bu t th a t, wh en a ch i ld is able to go alone, the

firft fteps o f na tural inclin at ion lead h im to his real fa

the r, fo that he finds h im out in a cro ud .

N o w , i f we confiderthe occafion of lov ing our chi ldre n,

Men as fond of mere ly

becaufe

we begot the m , for w h ich

the pj-odua>ons reafon we call th em our fecond

felves,

or the

mind,

as . r ,

, . . , - . / T -

of

the iflue

of the re

leems

to be another

kind ot

mue

their loins. proceed ing fr o m us, w h ich is not lefs

w o rth y o f our affect ion. For that w h ic h is ingendered

of the foul, th e iifue of our underftandincc, couraee.

and ab il i t ies, is produced by a nobler pa rt o f us than

the co rpo rea l, and is more our ow n ; w e are bo th the

father and m oth er togethe r i n this generation ; and if

the prod uct has any th in g good in i t , i t

cofts

us much

mo re ,

and brings us more

honour:

for the value

o f our other ch i ldre n is m uc h mo re their ow n than

ours, the fhare that we have in it being very l i t t l e ; bu t

of this iiTue a l l the beau ty, grace, and va lue is our

own, ;

confequently i t rcfembles us, and repreients us more to

the l i fe than the i ffuc of the b od y. P lato adds, tha t

th is o f fspr ing of the fou l is im m o rta l , and bo th im m o r

talizes and deifies i ts parents, as L y c u rg u s , S olo n, and

Minos .

* Hefiod, lib, iv. p,

310.

N o w ,



O f Parents AffeRion to their Children. 91

N o w , hiftories abounding w i th examples o f the com

m on aifedtion o f parents to the ir c h ild ren , Witnefs tjie ro

I d id not th in k it foreig n to m y purpofe mance of

Helio-

to fingle out one of this other

k i n d .

H e -

£?re> bilhoP of

Jiodore, the good bifhop o f T r i c c a * , ra

ther choie to lofe the digni ty, prof i t , and devot ion of fo

venerable a prelacy

f

than to lofe the daughter o f his

bra in ,

a lady th a t, to this day, makes a genteel ap

pearance, b u t, perhaps too n icely and wa nton ly dreffed,

and o f too amorous a ca ll for the

iffue

of a c lergyman

and a pr ied.

There was at R om e one L ab ienu s, a perfonage o f great

mer i t and author i ty , and, amongft other The writings of

quali t ies, excel lent in al l kinds of li te ra - Labienus.

tu re , who was, as I take it, the fon of that great Labie-

pus,

the ch ief of

Casfar's

captains in the wars of Gaul,

and wh o,

afterwards fiding

w i th

Pompey

theG reat , fo va

liantly maintained his caufe, t i l l Csefar defeated h im in

Spain.

T h is L abienu s, of wh om I am fpea king , was en

vie d by many for his v a lo u r; and i t is very pro ba ble,

tha t the courtiers and m inions o f the emperors o f his

t ime were

difpleaied

w i th h im for his f reedo m , and tha t

Ipirit o f patriotifm which he ftil l retained againft t y r an

ny , and w ith w h ic h , i t may be

fuppofed,

he had t indtu red

his books and w r i t ings. H is adverfaries prefented a c o m

plaint to the magiftracy of R om e againft feveral of th e

wo rks w hic h he had

pub l i fhed,

and caufed the m to be

condemned to the

f l ames;

fo tha t he was made the

firfl;

example of that fort of

pun i ihment ,

wh ich feveral others

at RomeJ afterwards fuffered, by the burning not only of

the ir w ri t in gs , b u t of the ftudies wherein they were co m -

pofed.

There had no t been means and m atter § eno ugh

• Tricca, a town of Upper

Theffaly,

in Greek

T^xr.n.

It is called Tr i-

cea in Cotton's

translation,

by the name being mifpelt in all the editions

of

Montaigne before

this.

+ Than to have his romance

condemned,

which was intitled the Ethi

opian Hiftory. Nicephorus, lib. xii. c. 34.

I

M.

Annseus Senec.

Controv. lib.

v.

from

the beginning.

This fort

of punifhment

has been very much approved by the

Chriftiansj

and,

even at this day, books are burnt, by the common executioner it Rome,

prance, England, &c. •§ Idem, ibid,

of



T. T

; iV.I O N T A I G N

E 's

E S S A V

S.

of cruel ty , d id not we therewi th confound th ings which

nature has exem pted f r o m al l feeling and

pa in ,

as the

repu tat ion and the inventions o f our un de rf tand ing, and

i f we d id not

infli<ft

corpora l pun i fhm ent on the d i fc ip-

ine and mo num ents o f the

mufes.

N o w * Lab ienus

could not bear this lofs, nor furvive the of fspr ing of his

br a in tha t was fo dear to h i m , b u t caufed himfelf to be

conveyed to and

fhut

up al ive in the funeral monument

o f his anceftors, where he made provifion to k i l l and b u ry

himfe l f a l l a t

once :

it is not eafy to produce an inftance

o f more vehem ent paternal

affedtion

than th is. Ca ffius

Severus,amanof great eloquence, and his fam il iar fr ie n d ,

feeing Labienus's books c om m itted to the f lam es, cr ied

o u t, th at , by the fame fentence, they m ig h t as w el l co n-

demnhim to be bu rnt

a l fo ,

becaufe he carried and re

tained all the contents thereof in his memory -|~.

T h e l ik e accident happened to C rem ut ius C ordu s, w h o

And the

bcoks wasaccufed

o f

ha v in g ,

in

h is

books ,

c c m -

of Cremutius mended Brutus and Caff ius. T h a t bafe,

Cordus. fe rv ile , and co rrup t fena te, w o rth y o f a

worfe mafter than T ib e r iu s, condemned his w r i t ings to

the flames. H e was glad to die w i th th e m , and k i l le d

h imfe l f by fa l l i ng | .

Honeft Lu ca n be ing condemned to die bv that

mif-

lucan's

fond-

creant

N e r o ,

when

he

was in the agonies o f

nefs for his death, moftof that bloodbeing already run

poetry. out 0f the veins of his arms which he had

caufed his furgeon to ope n, and a chilnefs having fe ized

the extremit ies of his body, which began to approach to

the vital parts, the

laft

th in g he had in his m em ory was

fome verfes ou t o f his bo ok o f the ba tt le o f Ph arfa l ia,

wh ich he repeated,and they were thelaffc words he

fpoke §.

,V/hat was this bu t a tender and paternal leave w h ic h he

took of his

o f f -f p r ing ,

reprefenting the farewels and .clofe

embraces

w h ich we give to o ur ch i ldren when we are

d y i n g , and an

effecl:

o f that natura l inc l inat ion w h ich

calls to our rem em brance, in this ex tre m ity , thole thing s

w h ich we held m o lt dear in our

life-time ?

* M.

Annaeus Senec. Controv. lib.

v. from the

beginning.

t Idem, ibid. J Tacit.

Anna . Mb, iv.

•> T.icir. Aanal.

lib. xv, at

the conclufion.

Can



0 / Parents AffeBion to their Children, 93

Can we fuppofe, that Ep icuru s, w h o , when racked

a l -

moft to de ath , as he fays, w ith extreme WjietI)ei; EPicu-

pains o f the ch ol ic, com forted

himfelf,'

rus would not

how ever, th at he had left

fuch

f ine doc-

}'?ve

preferred

' , . , , , , , Ins writings to

tr ine to m a nk in d , w ou ld have entertained the children de-

fo mu ch

fatisfaftion

in a numb er of

ch i l - tended

from his

dren never fo well born and

b red,

had he

had any, as he d id in the production of his ineftimable

wr i tings? A nd that i f i t

liad

been pu t to his choice to have

lef t an i l l - fav ou red untowa rd ch i ld beh ind h im , or a

f i l ly r idiculo us b o o k , he w ou ld not have rather chofe, as

any othe r man of his ab il it ies w ou ld have done, to have

incurred the f ir ft m isfortune rather than the laft. I t w o u ld ,

perhaps, have been im pie ty in St. A u gu ft in e, for ex

ample , after it h ad been propofed to h im , on the one

Hand,

to bury his wr i t ings, f rom which our re l ig ion has

received fo great benefit, or to bury his children, in cafe

he had any, i f he had not rather chofe to have buried

his chi ldren.

For rny ow n p art, I know not whether I fhould not

much rather have

bep-ot

one perfectly

„ f ( , „. „ .

,- . , <? . . ,' r •' Of the affection

form ed by my convene with the mules, which Mon-

than by th at with my wi fe . T o th is , fuch 'a'S,ne had for

as it is, wh at I g ive , I g ive

abfolutely and

i r revocably, as men do to the fruit of their bodies. That

l i t t le good w h ich I have done for it , is no more at my

own d ifpo fal. I t may kn ow man y things that I no l ong

er kn o w , and ho ld of me that wh ich I have not retain

e d ; an d , i f I f lood in need, I muft borrow from thence,

as m uc h as a ftranger. I f I am wifer than my b oo k, i t

is r iche r than m e. Th ere are few men add icted to

poetry, who would not have been better pleafed to be

the fathers o f the iE n e id , than of the fincft yo uth in

R o m e ;

and w ho w ou ld not have borne the

lofs

of the

latter more c alm ly than that o f the for m er: for, accord

in g to A ri f to t le , the poet efpecial ly, of al l w o rkm en , is

the

fondeft

of his own performances,

I t is fcarce to be be lieved , tha t Epam inond as, wh o

bnafted, tha t he had le ft to pofterity two daugh ters,

that would, one dav, do honour to their father, v i z .

the



54 M o n t a i g n - ^ s E s s a y s .

the two noble

victories

w h ic h he had

gained

over

fh£

The

fondnefs

of

Lacedemonians)

w ou ld have given his

Epaminondas free confent to exchange them for the

for his two fa- mof l . f l^ning beauties of a ll G re ece ; no r

mous

victories.

. &

,

r . n

,

that Alexander and Lae'ar ever waned to

be depr ived of the grandeur of their g lor ious exploi ts in

w a r, for the advantage of ha vin g children and he irs,

h o w

perfect

and

accomplished

foever. N a v , I m ake a

And of Phidias Sreat quef t ion, whether Phidias, or any

for his fineft other em ine nt

Statuary,

would have been

ftatues.

-r0 foll icitous

for the

prdervation

and

con

t inua nce o f his na tural c h i ld re n , as of an exce l lent fta-

t u e ,

w h ic h he had

f in i fhed ,

according to ar t , w i th long

labo ur and f tu d y . A n d as to thofe vic ious and fur iou s

paffions o f lov e, tha t have fometimes f lame d in the

breafts o f fathers to the ir daugh ters, or o f m othe rs to

their fons, the l ike is al io found in this other fort of pa

rentage; wi tnefs the

ftory

o f Py gm a l i on , who hav ing

made the ftatue o f a wom an o f l ingu lar beauty, fell fo

paffionately in love w ith this wo rkm an fh ip of his, that

the god s, for the fake o f in d u lg in g his ra f f ion , were

fain to put l i fe into i t .

Tentatwn mollefcit

ebur,

-pofitoque rigore

Subfidit digit is * ,

Hard though i t was, beg inn ing to re len t ,

T h e iv 'r y breaft beneath his f ingers benr.

C H A P . I X .

O f th e A r m o u r o f th e P a v t h ' m n s .

T is a vicious and a ve ry effem inate cu fbm of the

gentry of our t ime, not to take arms but in a cafe of

The ill cuftom of extreme neceff i ty, and to lay them down

not being armed aga in upon ever fo li t tl e appearance th a t

till the enemy is t^e danger is ove r. F ro m hence arife

at the

gates.

.p. , r

m any di lord ers ; fo r , every one c ry in g

out and ru n n in g to his arms j u f t wh en he Should take

*

Ovid. Metam.

lib. x, fab. viii.

ver, 41 ,

42.

of parents affection to their children

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