Oh look, a Volcano!

*Touch*I wouldn’t do that if I

were you. This volcano blew up six hours ago

and there might be some hot lava pockets

in here still.

You’re just jealous ‘cause I touched the volcano before you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to touch a volcano!

Umm, a person who doesn’t want his hand burned off? Bob, stop touching it! Every time you touch anything, something goes wrong!

Nu-uh! What about the time I petted your cat! Nothing went wrong!

Mr. Fluffykins? He spontaneously combusted for pity’s sake!

Well, at least he probably wasn’t in pain. Now be quiet, I think I found a hunk of obsidian!

OWWW! NOT OBSIDIAN! NOT OBSIDIAN! LAVA!!! HOT HOT HOT! I NEED

WATER!

Told you so.

WITH

WITH

WITH

MUST... TOUCH... SHINY... BALL!

WITH

BOB! Don’t make me get over there. Oh no. Oh no oh no. Whatever you do, don’t touch that ball Bob!

WITH

WITH

Hmm, this is bad. Very bad.

You think? And just for the

record, I blame you.

WITH

Anyway, after Bob had gotten lava stuck to his hand, they went home.

Well, to Bud’s home. You know, there’s a good reason why Bob

isn’t invited to Bud’s house. A very good reason. Heh heh heh.

A Box

AHHH! Much better!

A Box

You wouldn’t be in this predicament if you had listened. Look, get your paws out of my fish tank. Aww, come on. You killed my fish! And disintegrated my box!

Umm, this predicament just got me a piece of volcanic glass! Look at it! Its round and black and shiny and mine! And look, I didn’t mean to kill your fish. Or disintegrate your box. Now, I can grow the rock into a mini volcano and get rich off of obsidian! MUAHAHAHAHA! RICH!

Your volcanic rock? You cooled it in my tank and killed my fish to get it. Its mine! And also, do you even know how volcanoes form?

Uhh, yeah, you plant their seeds, a.k.a. rocks and glass, water it, then watch it grow! Duh. Either that, or you make it out of clay and put baking soda, red food coloring, and chili peppers in it. One of those.

No. Not even close. Let me show you.

Welcome to my living room. I’ve got a presentation I put on a DVD in the TV right now, and, we’ll learn how Volcanoes really form. And DON’T touch my couch. I’m warning you.

Right, don’t touch the couch. So, lets get this video started! The sooner this is over, the better. I just want some more rocks. And money. Lots of money. And how’d you make a presentation that fast?

Okay then. Just stand there, while the TV gets ready. I’m serious, don’t touch anything at all. And, I’ve had the presentation ever since I knew we were going to visit a volcano.

Okay. Now, it all starts in the Earth. As I hope you know, and you probably don’t, there is a bunch of Magma and partly melted rock. Magma moves like water and is lava before it reaches the crust. Now, how does it reach the crust? There is a theory I am fond of.

Now, if you see here- What is it Bob?

How did you do that?

Do what?

How are you standing in the TV like that?

You know, I’m not quite sure. Maybe its because we’re NOT REAL! But that isn’t the point. We’re supposed to be learning about how volcanoes form.

This is cool. Not you, the being in the TV thing. OOH! Pretty picture!

TOUCH

You just had to do that, didn’t you. Well, at least I have a back up. I thought you might do that.

Okay, the Magma rises out of the crust because of differing densities. The least dense something is, the more it wants to rise above more dense things. So, because of different Magma in the Mantle, some bulge up. And, they’ll break through the thinner pieces of crust sometimes and gush out. These holes in the crust are sometimes called hotspots. Sometimes, it’ll just build up in the crust and rise up, then they’ll build a Magma reservoir, and it’ll build up and push through the top of the reservoir onto our planet. Are you listening Bob? This is for your own good.

TOUCH

You’d better stop that. I’m serious. Now, out of these vents, lava gushes and piles.

TOUCH

I should slap you.

Anyway, lava that has gone out of the vents slowly cools, and piles up. It creates a volcano over time. Vents can also appear in the volcano. It piles up in different areas, and soon, you have a whole volcano range.

TOUCH VOLCANO

DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF!!!!!!!!

Sorry...

Okay, so, you know how volcanoes form… Sorta… Well, there are also different parts of a volcano.

Just get this over with. I want my $$$$$$$$$!

Okay, well, first, there is the crater. That is right over here. Its the dip in the volcano

Then, there’s a parasitic cone growing out of this volcano.

This is lava flowing down. And, the orange arrow is pointing to the base.

The Magma reservoir is right below the picture. That’s were the lava comes from

Flank.

Sill.

Ash cloud.

Summit.

Dike

Throat, and

The lighter parts are ash that fell and the darker parts are where the lava cools. That’s where you find your precious rocks. The orange arrows point towards the lava, while the yellow point towards the ash.

YES! SWEET ROCKS!

NO BOB! ITS JUST

A PICTURE!

The following scene was way to violent to show at school, even high school. Bob was mutilated in fashions in which are unspeakable, unimaginable, and just plain weird.

Please wait while we sort this fiasco out. Remain in your seats, and enjoy the next few seconds doing absolutely nothing because Luciana was too lazy to make a montage.

OK, you’ll be absolutely fine if you just don’t touch anything at all. Now, we’re almost done.

Now, there are three main types of volcanoes. There is the Cinder Cone volcano….

It looks a little like this. These erupt fast and cool down fast, and are the steepest of the volcanoes.

There are also the Shield volcanoes, which ooze lava slowly, and are mostly formed by hotspots. They are the fattest and gentlest climbing volcano.

And finally there are composite volcanoes, a mixture of the two. Its gentle at the bottom, then steeply rising at the middle-top. These are the most violent of the volcanoes.

And, just one more thing. You get rocks when the volcano erupts. So, that’s how you would get a volcano. Well, that’s the end of my presentation. Please exit the TV

You touched my couch, didn’t you? Never mind. Just, don’t say anything.

QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!

Bud has carefully and meticulously Bud has carefully and meticulously crafted this quiz for you to try. So, just crafted this quiz for you to try. So, just pick the answer when it comes up… pick the answer when it comes up… Ready? Well, if you aren’t, too bad. We’re Ready? Well, if you aren’t, too bad. We’re starting.starting.

QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!

Question 1: What is a volcano made of?Question 1: What is a volcano made of?

Ash and cooled LavaAsh and cooled Lava

Clay and baking powderClay and baking powder

Dirt and RocksDirt and Rocks

Fossil FuelsFossil Fuels

QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!QUIZ TIME PEOPLES!

Question 2: What is the most destructive Question 2: What is the most destructive kind of Volcano?kind of Volcano?

Shield VolcanoShield Volcano

Magma VolcanoMagma Volcano

Composite VolcanoComposite Volcano

Cinder Cone VolcanoCinder Cone Volcano

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!

OH MY GOSH! YOU GOT IT WRONG! HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE? HALF OF THE CLASS IS CONSISTED OF AG PEOPLE! BOOOOOO!