oops! i didn't mean it to come out that way
DESCRIPTION
A complete presentation on everything about communication to make sure that what they hear is what you meant for them to hear. Includes how attitude communicates, communication basics, conflict management, and presentation skills.TRANSCRIPT
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“OOPS!”
“How to Make Sure What They Hear is What You Wanted Them to Hear”
Scott “Q” Marcuswww.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com • 707.442.6243Facebook.com/ThisTimeIMeanIt • @ThisTimeIMeanIt
Presented by:
I DIDN’T MEAN IT TO COME OUT THAT WAY.
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MotivationEducation
Entertainment
IT’S ALL ABOUT “MEE!”
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Buy what we want, not what we need.
Not what you say, it’s what they feel about what you say.
Perceptions is reality.
Catch ‘em doing something right.
Pass the credit, take the blame.
Under-promise, over-deliver.
GETTING EMOTIONAL
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ATTITUDE!
Behavior
Result
THE CYCLE
Unbreakable Link
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ATTITUDE
FeelingsBeliefs Feelings
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Response
Feelings
Experience(Observations)
Biology
ATTITUDE
Response
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10
THE BASICS
<<<<Change
Logical
Physical
Emo.onal
Spiritual
AT
TIT
UD
E (H
abit)
If you don’t see it - It might still be there.
If you don’t say itIt might still be heard.
If you don’t acknowledge itIt won’t be resolved.
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Expectations
Noise
Resolution
Follow Up
CONFLICT CYCLE
CALM
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NOISE!
Text
Group Memo
Letter
Group Meeting
Private Conversation
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STRESS ZONE
STRESS ZONES
> >
> C
om
pete
nce >
> >
< < < Consciousness < < <
1. Unconscious Incompetence
2. Conscious Incompetence
3. Conscious Competence
4. Unconscious Competence
“Oblivious”“Aware”
“Learning” “Skilled”
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CONFLICT REASONS
❖ Shoulds & Musts
❖ Disqualifying
❖ Inappropriate Rescue
❖ Perfectionism & Selective Viewing
❖ Boundary Violation
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Persecutor (“It’s Always Your Fault!”)
Rescuer(“Let Me Fix It For You.”)
Vic?m (“It’s Not My Fault!”)
HappinessMental HealthContentment
Can I help?
Do I want to help?
Does she want my help?
DRAMA TRIANGLE
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✦ Slow & Calm
✦ Small Chunks & Pause
✦ Notice Feelings
✦ Eye Contact
✦ Confirm
✦ Feedback
✦ Acknowledgement
POWER TACTICS
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APPROPRIATE QUESTIONS
Open
Closed Confirmation
Inquiry✦ What do I want?
✦ What must happen?
✦ Can I do that?
✦ Will I?
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❖ 3 Rs
❖ Feel - Felt - Found
❖ Open & close
❖ Think LAST
❖ Most Powerful Word
DEALING WITH
GADFLIES
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KEEPING THE CALMPersonal Talk Time
10-20 Minutes
I want / I like
You want / You like
Agreement
Fair Fighting
❖ Start with “I”
❖ No Interruptions
❖ No Denials
❖ No Cross Complaints
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confi
denc
e
Like Me
Trust Me
Buy Me
Know Me
PERSUASION
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25
MAKING THE PITCH
Benefits
Attributes
Facts