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LEND YOUR EAR’S (to win others heart)

Mukesh Ashar, ITF 147 (JCI India)

LEND YOUR EAR’S (to win others heart)

Mukesh Ashar, ITF 147 (JCI India)

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www.jci.ccMukesh Ashar, ITF 147 (JCI India)

Course Objective The participants will 1. Become aware of the importance of good

listening skills.

2. Describe the key elements of active listening.

3. Practice active listening techniques


Expectation From participants

Participants to be

• Open Minded• Actively Participating• Focusing on the task at hand• Ready to think that this is possible


Activity-1Topics for discussion among the group• Gun Control

• Night time curfew in neighbourhoods

• Legal age to buy tobacco

• Use of internet among children


• What did your group choose to discuss?

• Did you have different points of view in your group?

Activity Analysis


• What were some of the challenges in speaking from someone elses point of view?

• Why do you think this challenges occur?

• How did you feel during the excersise?

• Can you be as passionate about others point of view?

Activity Analysis


Listening to Build Friendship

• Learning to Listen


Activity-2Script:-There was a small sleepy town & their lived in that town Mr. Moon,

he was bald but also very bold, he was not afraid of taking out his shinning black Buick car out of the garage even when neighborhood boys & girls were playing soccer in the open space in front of his garage.

One fine morning the milkman did not come & so Mr. Moon was very upset as he could not have his morning cup of milk tea,finally he took out his shining black Buick car & started going towards the town market to get some milk, the boys were playing near the garage.A small girl named Twinkle who was star of the locality due to her helping & friendly nature, she requested Mr. Moon to take her along, which he readily agreed, upon reaching the market he bought the milk & also some cookies for Twinkle, while returning they saw a small puppy crying by the side of the road, Mr. Moon stopped the car & Twinkle got down, gave some cookies to the puppy & called the puppy Pluto, Pluto started wagging his tail, she took Pluto in the car & came back to the village

Everyone was happy, Mr. Moon got milk, Twinkle got Pluto & Pluto got Cookies


Listening to build friendship Learning to Listen

• “Did you Hear What I said”

• “Are you listening to me”


Hearing

Hearing is a physiological process that our body innately does unless an individual has an Auditory medical condition


Listening

Listening on other hand is an Active process that we have to try & accomplish


• Active listening is communication tool that helps you understand other person in a better way

• Nobody can be your friend unless he/she has shown interest in listening to you. Same way you cannot be someone’s friend unless you listen to him/her

• The first step in active listening is focusing your attention on the other person when they are speaking


Developing Listening Skills

• Ask good Question

• Keep yourself from judging what other person is saying

• Para phrase what is being told

• Empathies with the other person



Ask good Question• Don’t accuse or blame in your questioning• Look for hidden meaning, seek information• Ask openended questions & insure your tone is

sincere Eg:- What do you think we should do about

this?,What do you feel are the options?,what happened before the fight took place?



Keep yourself from judging what other person is saying

• Don’t assume that you know what other person means or is thinking

• Don’t give advice to other person


Developing Listening Skills Repeat back to the other person what

they just said but in your own words. Called Paraphrasing- It checks weather

you heard them correctly

• Usually leads to obtain more information

• Lets the other correct any misunderstanding & promotes interest



Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and accept his or her feelings, thoughts, and ideas about the situation

• Does not mean you agree with other person• Does not mean that you give up to the other

person• Means that you are not discounting what other

person is saying• Takes a great deal of work on the listners part


Activity-3

Your Best Listener:- Think about the person in your life that

you consider the best listener. This is the "GO – To" person that you talk to when something is important

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Activity Analysis

Discuss the following Questions in large group1- What similarities did you find between the

answers of your group & other groups?2- If you were in a conflict with the person who is

your best listener would he/she use the same listening skills that you have identified? Why or why not?

3- What are some things that would keep that person from using his/her good listening skills?


Are you that Go-To person in someone's life?


Strategies to help you listen better• Know yourself & how you react in conflict

situations?• Don’t think about your relation with the

speaker, just concentrate on listening• If you are forming opinion, you are not

listening• Decide if you are composed & comfortable

in listening or else seek the time


Activity-4

Conflict & Active listening scenario:- Now that all the groups have identified good

listeneing skills & things that distract them from listening, let us look at some scenarios where we can apply this information

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Activity Analysis• Was it easy to pickout bad listening skills &

listening barriers? Why or why not?• Was it difficult to think of a good listening

scenario? Why or why not?• How could listening skills help you when you

are involved in a conflict?• If you do not use good listening skills during a

conflict, what could happen?


HOW TO BECOME GOOD LISTENER?

• Remove as many distractions as possible• Concentrate on what the other person is saying• Maintain eye contact• Wait until the person is done to respond• Do not interrupt the speaker• Clarify what you do not understand• Use encouraging non verbal cues ( eg:-nodding, leaning forward, smiling)


ATTRIBUTES OF GOOD LISTENING SKILLS

1- Leave the channel open2- Eye contact3- No Deviation- Concentrate4- Don’t Interject5- You cannot listen when you are Talking6- Openness


ATTRIBUTES OF GOOD LISTENING SKILLS

7- Understanding communication symbol8- Receptive Body Language9- Empathy- Not Sympathy10- Attention11- Restating the message12- Strategic pauses


Summary

When individuals listen to each other, even conflict can be constructive experience.

When you listen to a person you give him/her time to voice his/her opinions & perceptions

This infact gives you opportunity to win other persons heart & befriend with him/her


Thanks

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