(p. 199) student writing model

ANALYZING TEXT ELEMENTSAcademic Writing

ANALYZE TEXT STRUCTURERead this student model to analyze the elements of a narrative.

Academic Writing Type A narrative tells a story from a clear point of view. Narratives can be imagined events or true experiences from someone’s life.

A. The introduction clearly identifies characters and the purpose of the narrative.

B. Detail sentences describe a sequence of events using action verbs and sensory details.

C. The conclusion explains the importance of the story.

D. Transition words or phrases help move the reader through the events of the story.

A

B1

C

The last time I felt I had a valid reason to lie was when I was 12 years old.

My friend Angel had a birthday coming soon, and I planned to surprise him by

throwing a party. Keeping the secret was torturous because I usually tell

Angel everything.

Once, I almost told him the truth about everything. We were riding on

the bus one day, and he mentioned his birthday. To keep the secret, I had to

say that I would be visiting my grandmother that day. I could tell Angel felt

perturbed because his voice got hushed. However, I still didn’t reveal the

truth, because I did not want to spoil the surprise.

When I thought about it later, I decided I was mistaken to lie in this

case. As a result, Angel’s experience with the birthday party was negative. He

didn’t get to plan all of the things he wanted to do at his party.

In the end, I felt that keeping the truth from Angel was not a wise

decision because it made me feel guilty for lying to him.

Student Writing Model

MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTS Mark the narrative elements and use the frames to discuss them with your partner.

1. Put brackets around the topic within the introduction. The topic of the narrative is .

2. Draw a box around three transition words or phrases. One transition (word/phrase) is . Another transition (word/phrase) is .

3. Number events (1–5) in time order. The event in the narrative is .

4. Star four precise adjectives and adverbs. An example of a precise (adjective/adverb) is .

B2

LESSON

ANALYZE TEXT STRUCTURE Introduce the Academic Writing Type• Routine 11: Student Writing Model (p. T88)

Explain the purpose of a narrative. A narrative tells a story that may be fictional or from the author’s real life. Authors often use sensory details, descriptive language, and dialogue to bring their stories to life.

• Echo-read the academic writing type description and guide students to underline the key phrase tells a˜story.

Read the Student Writing Model• Tell students that you will analyze a narrative about

when the student felt he had a valid reason to lie to his friend, and the results of that choice.

• Display and read aloud the student model using Oral Cloze and Partner Cloze.

BRIDGING (p. 136G)

EXPANDING (p. 136G)

MARK & DISCUSS ELEMENTSTeach and Discuss Elements of a Narrative• As you introduce each narrative element and

marking task, assign the relevant frame and facilitate discussion. Model the process with the first task and frame by reading a model response. Have partners (A/B) take turns listening and responding.

• Ask partners (A/B) to stand and report a response with each frame. Direct students to listen attentively and mark any missed elements.

• Reread the introduction and guide students to put brackets around the topic.

• Explain that transitions like once connect the writer’s points and move the reader through time. Have students draw a box around once and two more transitions.

• Explain that narratives tell about a series of events from beginning to end. Often, writers tell about the events in the order in which they happened, but sometimes they decide to move forward or backward in time. Have students number the events in time order.

• Point out that the writer included precise adjectives and adverbs. Have students star torturous and three more precise adjectives and adverbs.

BRIDGING (p. 136G)

EXPANDING (p. 136G)

(collapse) I worried that the building might because of .˜

Daily Do Now (p. 199)Daily Do Now

When I thought about it later, I decided I was mistaken to lie in this

In the end, I felt that keeping the truth from Angel was not a wise

perturbed because his voice got hushed. However, I still didn’t reveal the

throwing a party. Keeping the secret was torturous because I usually tell

perturbed because his voice got hushed. However, I still didn’t reveal the perturbed because his voice got hushed. However, I still didn’t reveal the

case. As a result, Angel’s experience with the birthday party was negative. He

Once, I almost told him the truth about everything. We were riding on

11

2

3the bus one day, and he mentioned his birthday. To keep the secret, I had to 3the bus one day, and he mentioned his birthday. To keep the secret, I had to

4

5In the end, I felt that keeping the truth from Angel was not a wise

154 Issue 6

E3DIB_TEPE_I06_154-159_WR.indd 154 2/15/16 12:02 PM

FRONTLOADING LANGUAGENarrative

Language for DescriptionGuidelines for Using Language for DescriptionLanguage for description includes action words, precise adjectives and adverbs, and other sensory language that make your writing more vivid and helps readers imagine the story as they read.

USE DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGEComplete the narrative with appropriate descriptive and sensory language.

Everyday Language Descriptive Language

long

wanted

hurt

took

hidden

crying

lengthy, prolonged, extended, dragged-out

craved, coveted, desired, itched-for

ached, stung, smarted, anguished

seized, snagged, swiped, ran off with

stashed, cloaked, concealed, tucked away

weeping, bawling, sobbing, shedding tears

The last time I felt I had a valid reason to lie was when I was nine years old. My sister,

Sufiya, was leaving for a summer at camp. I was too

young to go and felt jealous. Our parents had bought Sufiya supplies, and the item I

most was a

I wanted it so that my chest So I

when she wasn’t looking.

As we drove to camp, my mother asked Sufiya if she had everything. I thought about

the bag under my bed. But I said nothing, because I did not want to get in trouble. After we

got home, Sufiya called

because she thought someone had stolen her prized possession.

Everyday Descriptions Precise Descriptions

When I met Kaia for the first time, it was a really nice day, with lots of sunshine and a little breeze blowing.

When I met Kaia for the first time, it was a glorious day; sunbeams poured down like gold and a breeze crept through the trees.

I tried to tell Kaia I was grateful, but I got all choked up and couldn’t talk.

I tried to tell Kaia how immensely grateful I felt, but my heart filled my throat. My voice sounded smothered.

Teach the Conventions Skill• Explain that narratives use sensory descriptions to

paint vivid pictures for the reader.

• Read aloud the “Guidelines for Using Language for Description” and have students circle key information (e.g., h̃elps readers imagine).

• Read aloud the everyday and precise descriptions. Language for description can come in the form of precise adjectives and adverbs, as well as from literary devices like similes and metaphors. Rather than write that it was a really nice day when I met Kaia, I could write that the day was glorious, which paints a much more vivid picture and makes my memory of meeting Kaia seem more important to the reader.

Apply Skill to Academic Writing • Read aloud the narrative frame, saying “blank”

for the blanks. Model how to use the descriptive language chart to add descriptive and sensory language. I’ll need a sensory adjective to describe my sister’s summer away at camp. An everyday standard word could be long. But I’d like to create a clearer picture of the time she was away, so I’ll use more precise language: prolonged.

• Direct students to complete the remaining sentences with descriptive and sensory language. Think about how you can help the reader feel like they are able to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch the items in your story.

• Preselect two students with strong responses to read aloud their narratives to the class. Then ask for partner nominations and volunteer reporters.

USE DESCRIPTIVE LANGUAGE

(truthfully) When my friend , I tried to answer .˜

Daily Do Now (p. 199)

prolonged

coveted light green, zippered bag.

desperately ached!

swiped the bag like a thief

sobbing like a baby

Honesty 155


FRONTLOADING CONVENTIONSAcademic Writing

Using Pronouns CorrectlyGuidelines for Using Pronouns CorrectlyA pronoun replaces a noun or another pronoun. An antecedent is the noun that the pronoun replaces. A pronoun and its antecedent must agree in number (singular or plural), person (first person, second person, or third person), and gender (the masculine pronouns he, him, and his; the feminine pronouns she and her; and the neuter pronouns it and its).

Sara and I followed Ben, but we hesitated when he wouldn’t tell us the destination.

Miranda had heard the song so many times that she couldn’t get it out of her head.

The first time Ann thought she had a good reason to lie was when

they was ten years old. Her cousins, Mira and Toby, had a spelling

competition coming up soon, and Ann planned to surprise they by

bringing Nana to the event. The secret was hard to keep because Ann

always told the truth. In this case, however, he felt that Mira and Toby

would love the surprise.

Once Ann almost told us the truth about everything. She was

visiting Toby, and he mentioned that him missed Nana. To keep the

secret, Ann had to say that I didn’t think about Nana very much. Ann

could tell that Toby felt angry because her left the room.

IDENTIFY PRONOUN ERRORSRead the narrative paragraphs and circle the pronoun errors. Write the correct pronoun above each error.

WRITE PRONOUNSComplete each sentence with the correct pronoun.

1. David decided that keeping a secret from friend Maya was for

the best.

2. Secrets can be complicated. can ruin a friendship or make

stronger.

3. If I want to surprise friend, I will have to plan carefully.

4. When Olivia lost cell phone, Dad said, “I hope you

find quickly!”

5. Secrets can be bad or good. In fact, can ruin a friendship or

make stronger.

LESSON

IDENTIFY PRONOUN ERRORSTeach the Conventions Skill• Explain that pronouns help writers avoid repeating

nouns and make writing less repetitive.

• Read aloud the “Guidelines for Using Pronouns Correctly” and have students circle the key information (e.g., antecedent and agree). Explain the examples. In the first example, “Sara and I” and “Ben” are antecedents. The pronoun we replaces “Sara and I.” The pronoun he replaces Ben.

• Explain that pronouns and antecedents must also agree in person and gender. “Miranda” is a female in the third person, and so is the pronoun she. The song has no gender and is in third person. So is the pronoun it.

Practice Analyzing a Model• Read aloud the model narrative using Oral Cloze.

• Point out that the writer uses pronouns but some of them do not agree in number or person. In the first sentence, Ann is a singular noun. The pronoun in the clause that gives her age needs to agree in number, so they is incorrect. The correct pronoun for Ann is she. Have students circle they and write she above it.

• Ask partners to switch off reading the narrative sentence by sentence, circling incorrect pronouns, and writing the correct ones above.

• Briefly have students report out to the class: In the sentence , the pronoun should be .

• For additional practice, have partners return to the student model narrative (p. 154) and identify the pronouns.

BRIDGING (p. 136H)

WRITE PRONOUNSApply Skill to Academic Writing• Read aloud the first sentence. Model how to write

pronouns that agree with their antecedents in number and gender. I need a pronoun that agrees with the antecedent David and shows possession. So I need the singular, third-person, masculine possessive pronoun his.

• Direct partners to collaborate to complete the remaining sentences.

• For each item, have a student read the sentence and explain their reasoning: In the sentence , the pronoun should be .

(honor) It is my great to accept this .


they was ten years old. Her cousins, Mira and Toby, had a spelling

competition coming up soon, and Ann planned to surprise they by

always told the truth. In this case, however, he felt that Mira and Toby

Once Ann almost told us the truth about everything. She was

visiting Toby, and he mentioned that him missed Nana. To keep the

could tell that Toby felt angry because her left the room.

secret, Ann had to say that I didn’t think about Nana very much. Ann

his

They

it

her

it

my

they

it

she

them

she

them

he

she

he

156 Issue 6


Narrative PLANNING TO WRITE

Transitions to Convey Time Shifts Examples

First It all began

At that time All at once

Suddenly Soon

Before long Next

Several later Now

Since then Then

It all began when I heard noises in the closet.

First, I opened the closet door very slowly.

Suddenly, my cat dashed out of the closet.

Several moments later, my other cat ran out of the closet.

Before long, both cats were frolicking in circles.

Since then, I have learned to keep the closet door closed.

Organize a Narrative

IDENTIFY TRANSITIONSReview the transitions that writers use to convey shifts in time. Then complete the paragraph with appropriate transitions.

The history of our town is quite fascinating. more than

100 years ago. this part of the country was open land.

settlers began to arrive. people

began to build farmhouses. our town has grown.

it may become an even larger city.

PLAN EVENTS & DETAILSUse your personal experiences to select a topic.

The last time I felt I had a valid reason to lie was when I was (number)

My (person) had (a/an) (situation)

and I needed to keep a secret.

Describe the events you will include in your narrative. Use descriptive language.

1. It all began when

2. Once, I almost

3. Later, when I

Craft a conclusion that explains the importance of the story.

Prompt Think about a time when you felt like you had a good reason to lie. Write a narrative that describes the situation and the outcome.

Teach the Language Skill• Explain that transitions can convey sequence and

signal time shifts in a narrative. In a narrative, transitions help show the reader how events are connected through time.

• Display the transitions and examples. Explain that different transitions are more appropriate depending on if time is shifting and how. Read the examples using Oral Cloze.

Practice Identifying Transitions• Model how to use the chart to choose a transition to

complete the first sentence. Because this explains the beginning of the story, I’ll use It all began.

• Ask partners to collaborate to complete the remaining sentences.

• Direct partners (A/B) to stand and read aloud their paragraphs to the class.

EXPANDING (p. 136H)

IDENTIFY TRANSITIONS

Guide Note-Taking• Routine 12: Planning to

Write (p. T90) Read aloud the writing prompt. Model how to select a topic.

• Direct students to complete the frame based on their own experiences with hiding the truth. Think of one time you needed to keep something a secret.

• Guide students to describe three events for their narratives. I almost told Sofia the truth while we were walking home from school past the basketball courts, so I’ll include those details in the event.

• Have partners compare their selections: One sensory detail that brings the story to life is . A specific detail that creates a picture is .

• Model how to write a conclusion that explains the importance of the experience. The story should feel like it has ended. I also want people to understand what the outcome of my decision meant to me. Have students complete their conclusions.

• Preselect students to read aloud their topic sentences, details, and conclusions.

BRIDGING (p. 136H)

EXPANDING (p. 136H)

PLAN EVENTS & DETAILS

(tangible) One result of exercising every day is .


It all began

10.

my twin sister, Sofia, had a tough math test coming up, and I wanted to surprise

told her about the surprise. It was after school, while we walked home past the

revealed the secret, Sofia said she couldn’t wait to see our favorite band howl in front

Before long,

her with the gift of concert tickets.

“thump, thump, swish, swish” of basketball courts. She was complaining about how the test was

scarier than a horror movie.

of the pulsing lights.

In the end, keeping the secret was worth it for the joy I felt when Sofia shredded the wrapping paper and

shrieked, “Yes!”

At that time,

Since then,

Soon,

Next,

twin sister stressful exam approaching

Honesty 157


WRITING A DRAFT Academic Writing

The last time I felt I had a valid reason to lie was when I was years

old. My

had (a/an)

and I hoped to keep my a secret. I planned to

(him/her) by

Keeping the secret was because I usually

Once, I almost told (him/her) the truth about everything. We were

one day, and (he/she)

To keep the secret, I had to say I

I could tell felt because

(his/her) face looked like (a/an)

However, I still didn’t tell the truth because

When I later,

I decided that I was (right/wrong) to lie in this case.

As a result, experience was

In the end, I felt that keeping the truth from

(was/was not) an intelligent decision because

(number)

(noun: friend, brother, cousin) (name)

(event: birthday, anniversary, game)

(noun: plan, gift, intentions)

(base verb: deliver, present, shock) (verb + –ing: throwing, giving, presenting)

(elaborate on event)

(adjective: challenging, difficult, excruciating)

(present-tense verb: tell, prefer, avoid)

(verb + –ing: riding, walking, eating)

(past-tense verb: asked, mentioned, invited)

(elaborate on event)

(present-tense verb)

(name) (adjective: wounded, confused, irate)

(noun phrase)

(elaborate on reason)

(past-tense verb: thought, explained, talked)

(name + –’s) (adjective: positive, negative, rewarding)

(name)

(elaborate on reason)

WRITE AN ESSAYUse the frame to write a narrative.

Write a Narrative

Prompt Think about a time when you felt like you had a good reason to lie. Write a narrative that describes the situation and the outcome.

A

B1

C

B2

LESSON

WRITE AN ESSAYIntroduce the Writing Assignment• Routine 12: Writing a Draft (p. T92) Read the

writing prompt aloud to clarify the assignment.

• Display the narrative writing frame and point out key features.

• Explain the purpose of the small text in parentheses. Notice the text in parentheses under the blank lines. This text gives you directions for what to˜write.

Write an Introduction• Read aloud the frame for the introduction.

• Model how to use the notes (p. 157) to write an introduction that identifies a purpose.

Write Detail Sentences• Remind students that detail sentences in a narrative

bring the story and characters to life.

• Model how to write detail sentences that appeal to the senses, using the notes you modeled for detail˜1 (p. 157). I want to describe the arena in which the concert would take place in a way that creates a strong image, so I’ll use the sensory adjective hulking.

• Work with students to write model detail sentences based on content from notes (p. 157).

Construct a Conclusion• Remind students that the conclusion should explain

the importance of the experience. Our conclusion needs to elaborate on a reason why I felt that keeping the truth from Sofia was an intelligent decision, so I’ll write she was shocked and grateful for the present after all her hard work.

Read the Narrative Write a Draft• Read aloud the sample draft of a narrative and

model how to replace everyday words using precise synonyms.

Write a Draft• Provide time for students to write their narratives in

response to the prompt on a computer or separate sheet of paper.

• Direct partners (A/B) to take turns reading their narratives. Then guide them to circle everyday words and replace them with precise˜words.

BRIDGING (p. 136H)

EXPANDING (p. 136H)

(truthful) Aileen denied in a way that sounded .


10

twin sister

rewarding her hard work with

The concert would be in a hulking arena, filled with shrieking fans, buzzing guitars, and pulsing

she complained about the math test that was lurking over her like

an ogre. I sympathized with her, but I thought about how much more excited she would be once

she was amazed and grateful for the present after all my hard work.

couldn’t celebrate the day after the test.

Sofia

her

annoyed

spoke to Sofia about it

right

Sofia’s positive.

Sofia

was

I had put heaps of effort into getting those

a red radish.

challenging

her

walking home from school past the “thump, thump, swish, swish” of the basketball courts

can’t keep news to myself.

a difficult math test soon,

intentions

Sofia

amaze her

a gift of concert tickets for her favorite singer.

lights.

she finally shredded the shimmering package.

tickets to surprise her.

158 Issue 6


ASSESSING & REVISINGFormal Summary

CHECK & EDITUse this checklist to proofread and edit your narrative.

□ Did you capitalize proper nouns, such as people’s names?

□ Did you use commas appropriately after transitions?

□ Did you use pronouns correctly?

□ Is each sentence complete?

□ Are all words spelled correctly?

Rate Your Narrative

REFLECT & REVISERecord specific priorities and suggestions to help you and your partner revise.

(Partner) Positive Feedback: You did an effective job of (using/including/explaining)

(Partner) Suggestion: Your narrative will be stronger if you (include/improve/explain)

(Self) Priority 1: I will revise my narrative so that it (includes/develops/explains)

(Self) Priority 2: I also need to (add/revise/check)

ASSESS YOUR DRAFTMark the elements in your narrative.

1. Put brackets around the topic within the introduction.

2. Draw a box around three transition words or phrases.

3. Number the events (1–5) in time order.

4. Star four precise adjectives and adverbs.

Rate your narrative. Then have a partner rate it.

1. Does the topic sentence clearly identify purpose of the narrative?Self ① ② ③ ④

Partner ① ② ③ ④

2. Did you use transitions to help move the reader through the story’s events?Self ① ② ③ ④


3. Do the detail sentences show the order of events using action verbs and sensory details?

Self ① ② ③ ④


4. Did you include precise verbs, adjectives, and adverbs?Self ① ② ③ ④


5. Do the concluding sentences explain the importance of the story?Self ① ② ③ ④


Scoring Guide① Insufficient② Developing③ Sufficient④ Exemplary

LESSON 13 13

Self- and Peer Assess Summaries • Routine 14: Peer Feedback (p. T94) If students

wrote their paragraphs electronically, have them print their drafts. Review elements of a narrative and have students mark them in their drafts.

• Review the Scoring Guide criteria and what constitutes a score of 1–4.

• Distribute the Student Writing Sample: Narrative and read it using Oral Cloze . Guide students in using the Scoring Guide to rate each element.

• Have students silently read their narratives and circle ratings to self-assess.

• Direct partners to exchange books, read their partners’ narratives, and circle ratings in their partners’ b ooks.

BRIDGING (p. 136H)

EXPANDING (p. 136H)

ASSESS YOUR DRAFT

Discuss Feedback • Remind partners to give positive feedback before

making a suggestion for revision.

• Model how to give feedback. You might say, “You did an effective job of using sensory language to create images in my mind. Your narrative will be stronger if your conclusion explains the story’s importance. Do you have any questions?”

• Guide students to use frames to write positive feedback and a suggestion in their partners’ books.

• Have pairs return books and have partners clarify feedback using frames: What precisely do you mean by ? In other words, you think that .

• Allow students to revise their narratives, focusing on areas with the lowest ratings.

REFLECT & REVISE

Complete a Proofreading Checklist • Ask students to review each item in the checklist and

reread their narratives to proofread and edit.

Write a Final Draft • Support students as they revise their drafts. Have

students publish their work through a school blog or website. Encourage ongoing interaction and collaboration.

• Score student narratives using the Narrative WritingRubric and provide feedback for students to review.

BRIDGING (p. 136H)

EXPANDING (p. 136H)

CHECK & EDIT

(evident) A look at the clock made it to Eva that she .


Honesty 159

E3DB2_TEPE_I06_workshop_L6-13.indd 159 1/17/20 3:16 PM

(p. 199) student writing model

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