pages from the devil's tongue

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The Devil’s Tongueby Merv Lien



Copyright ©2004 by Merv LienAll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced inwhole or in part, stored or transmitted in any form without thewritten permission of the publisher.

Published by Merv Lien

ISBN: 0-9736207-0-6

Printed in Canada



A word about Merv’s Recovery from his Counsellor

Our logo is two simple white roses. One rose is a bud tightlybound, waiting for the appropriate elements that will allowit to bloom and grow. The second rose is open, in full bloom,announcing life in its truest sense. It stands with a quietdignity, able and willing to deal with life and all it has to offer

and in return offering to the world its tranquility, joy, peaceand love. This is my sense and understanding of Serenity.Symbolically, we see the client, Merv, enter our program asthe tight rosebud and leave as the rose in full bloom. Withthe love and understanding of our staff here and the offerof tools to reshape and build a new life, we know that if aperson can give themselves completely to our program they

too can, and will, bloom and grow with Serenity.

All the elements of the program are brought together toform a simple beginning to a new and wonderful experience,one that will be treasured always for it is the beginningof a journey through life. A journey filled with growthexperiences as yet unknown or even imagined. Like therosebud that blooms and grows with the help of elements of nutrients, sun and rain, so we as a people can grow to theexperiences of openness, joy, peace and love. Sometimes wetoo need some help to do this.

We Will Do Together What We Could Not Do Alone.Merv is an example of what the result of this process can be.All the best in all your experiences Merv.

Merv’s Counsellor



Dear Merv:

It has been a privilege to work on your book frombeginning to end – to see how it all began, and to read

about the progression and the final step to sobriety. I feelprivileged to be a part of your healing process. Each stepthat you take is one step closer to peace in your life.

You have had a lot to put behind you and it is something,that even though your wife Jean and your family benefitsfrom it, you had to do it for you. The love you have for yourfamily is very obvious in what you have written and why. I

truly hope that other people gain from all your hard work.If even one person takes a step back and takes a good lookat their life then all that you have put into this great bookwill be worth it.

I found your book to be very interesting and educationalbecause it shows the twisted thinking of an alcoholic. It isalso very encouraging because it shows that people can

overcome their alcohol abuse and regain a normal andhappy life again – no matter how long the abuse was carriedon.

Every alcoholic affects a number of other people in hisor her life – these are people who can also make tremendousgains from reading your book. Perhaps they can influencetheir loved ones to read the book and speed them on thepath to healing.

May God bless you in what you do and a ray of sunshinebe with you always



Contents

Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Part 1 - The Devil’s Tongue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Photos - Merv . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47

Part 1 - The Devil’s Tongue – continued. . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

Photos - Jean & Merv . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 253

Part 2 - Living With The Devil’s Tongue . . . . . . . . . . . . 269

Epilogue. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 313

Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 322



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ii Merv Lien & Jean Zuber



iiiMerv Lien & Jean Zuber



iv Merv Lien & Jean Zuber



Introduction

The turning point in my life came when I was pulledover for impaired driving on a visit to Washington state. Iwas out for a night of drinking and dancing on a Saturdayevening in 1992 – and I decided it was time to drive home.There was some police officers driving behind me, and they

thought I was driving a little erratically, so they decided topull me over to see if I was impaired. One of them got on hisloudspeaker and told me to pull my vehicle over, so I pulledinto a nearby parking lot. When I got out of my vehicle,there were two police cars and four officers waiting for me.

They gave me the usual dancing lesson that they giveto people they think have been drinking: take four steps

forward, swing around and walk four steps back. Bend overand touch the ground. Take six steps backward withoutfalling down. Now take a few steps forward so we can smellyour breath. No – I’m afraid that those breath mints don’thide the smell of the booze!

Then it was time to stand steady with my armsoutstretched. After that I had to stand with my head uphigh, close my eyes, and touch my nose with my hand.Then came the literacy portion of the test where they hadme recite my ABC’s I must have been a bad boy and failed



2 Merv Lien

the sirens blaring. They took me to their station downtownand made me blow into a breathalyzer machine. The officer

examined my driver’s license, which was from Alberta, andhe also looked at my registration. When he was checkingon my registration, he found that my license plates hadexpired, and that my vehicle hadn’t been insured for over amonth. I wasn’t thinking very clearly in those days, and Ithought that I still had at least another month to go beforemy vehicle’s license plates and insurance expired.

The reading on my breathalyzer showed a 0.10 % bloodalcohol level. At the time, that was exactly the legal limitfor Washington state. The officer had two choices, he couldbe lenient to me and let me off because my reading wasright on the borderline, or he could go ahead and chargeme. He stopped to think about it for a minute. He told methat in most cases like this he would let the person go – but

the fact that I was driving without valid license plates orregistration made him decide to go ahead and charge me.I ended up getting stuck with two tickets – one for

driving while under the influence, and one for drivingwithout a current license plates and registration. After theyfinished charging me, the officer took the handcuffs off.He knew that I obviously wasn’t violent or dangerous, sohe decided to let me stay at a motel for the evening ratherthan locking me up behind bars.

The next day was Sunday, and I had to go back to thepolice station to get my driver’s license and the keys to myvan. I got my keys and my license back, but I still didn’thave any insurance on the van, and my vehicle license wasstill invalid. My mind was still a little fuzzy from the boozeI had the night before, and I was having trouble deciding

how I should go about getting back to Canada. Should I callmy son in Burnaby and have him come down and give me a



3Introduction

in the van and take my chances. I’d been listening to hisadvice for fifty-two years – and I decided to take his advice

again this time. I made it home safely, and this just servedto reinforce my faith in my old friend.

When I got back to Vancouver Island, where I wasworking, I got in touch with a lawyer about my charges. Helined me up with another lawyer in Washington.

Before I went to see the American lawyer, I did somethinking. My driver’s license was issued in Alberta. If they

took that license away from me, I wouldn’t be able to carryon in my business as a cabinet maker. More importantly,it was four miles from where I lived to the nearest liquorstore – how was I going to get alcohol if I couldn’t drive?I considered going to the motor vehicle bureau for BritishColumbia, telling them that I misplaced my license, andget them to issue me a new one for the province of British

Columbia. That way when they took my BC license away,I would still have a valid license. Of course they do cross-references on driver’s licenses, and it would only be amatter of time till I was caught – but in my alcohol addledstupor, I didn’t really think about any of those things.

When I went to court, the judge dismissed the chargeof driving without a license and without insurance. It turnsout that the arresting officer had written it up wrong – hewrote the charge down as driving without a license. When Ishowed the judge that I had a valid new BC driver’s license,he threw that charge out. My lawyer was able to pleadthe Impaired Driving charge down to dangerous drivingand reckless endangerment. The judge gave me a fine of $1,075 and one year probation – and told me that I had toattend AA meetings and go to counselling for my drinking

problem. But I didn’t get a criminal record and I didn’t losemy license



4 Merv Lien

left over, so I ordered one double and one single whisky anddrank them down right away. This was after all the other

booze I had already had to drink that evening. If the ticketshad been for food, I wouldn’t have had any problems justthrowing them away at the end of the night. But after fifty-two years as an alcoholic, I had come to the conclusion thatit was a crime to waste booze.

The dance was over, so I got in my van to drive home. Ihad to drive because I was too drunk to walk. I got stopped

by the police once again. The officer who stopped me didn’tarrest me. He just said “we’re putting your vehicle under 24hour suspension and calling a tow truck. I don’t know whyhe did this – maybe he felt sorry for me or something. I hadto wait twenty-four hours, then I went to the police stationto pick up my car keys and driver’s license, and went to theimpound yard to pick up my van. It ended up costing me

$85.00 for the towing charges.I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. How many people getstopped for impaired driving twice in two weeks withouteven losing their license? When I went drinking at thelegion, I kept telling everybody about my good fortune. Ithought I must have had a lucky charm hanging over myhead – I didn’t think about how unfortunate it was that Iwas still drinking so heavily!

Every so often, I had to report to the probation officerin Washington. That was one of the conditions of my parole.A few months after being sentenced, he asked me howmany AA meetings I had attended. I told him that I hadn’tattended any yet – after all, I was just a social drinker,not an alcoholic. The next week I reported back to him,and there was another officer with him who asked me if I

had been to any AA meetings yet. I told him I still hadn’tgone to any and he calmly told me that if I didn’t go to



5Introduction

meet the conditions of my probation. This was even moreserious than losing my driver’s license – it might mean a

whole year without booze! I had to do something rightaway, so I went to an AA meeting at 8:00 p.m. that night. Ithought to myself “here goes – if I have to go, I have to go. Nothing says I have to like it, though.”

I was half tanked when I walked into my first meeting.Isn’t that what meetings are all about – a bunch of drunkssitting around and talking about drinking? Everybody at the

meeting was really friendly and welcoming, but I thought“everybody seems friendly when you are drinking.”I went and sat down as far away from anybody as I

possibly could because, to tell the truth, I was prettyembarrassed about having to be there. I didn’t say anythingthat night – I just listened.

A couple of weeks later, I went to another meeting. I

wasn’t drunk this time, so it was easier for me to makesense of what was being said. People got up and talkedabout themselves. They talked about what drunks they were– or what drunks they had been. Then a couple of guys gotup and told stories about how their drinking had cost themtheir families, their homes, their cars, and all their assets. Iactually thought they were talking about me. I thoughtthat they had somehow learned about my past history, andthey were repeating it just to pique my interest.

When that meeting was over, I went home. I didn’t stopoff at the legion first for a drink. I got home, opened abottle of beer, set it on the table next to me, and sat downon the bed. As I sat there thinking, it finally dawned on methat those guys were talking about themselves, not me. Iwas simply in the same situation as them. I pondered over

what they had said for hours. It was November 27, 1992 at9:30 p m I never did touch that can of beer and to this



6 Merv Lien

was actually very enthusiastic about it. My mind startedclearing up for the first time in years.

I started going to counselling every week, in additionto going to the AA meetings. It was as if the clouds andthe fog started clearing away. I was thinking back on myearlier life. But I wasn’t ready to think back too far justyet. One of the things that was constantly on my mindwas my treatment of my common-law wife, Jean. We weretogether for over fifteen years, and she finally gave methe boot when she couldn’t put up with my alcoholismanymore. I wondered if she would be willing to talk to menow that I wasn’t drinking anymore. I gave her a call tosee how she was doing, and the reception wasn’t as cold asI had anticipated. At first, she was understandably a littlesceptical. When I told her that I wasn’t drinking anymore,she asked “Why not, did you run out of money for booze?”

I explained to her that I finally realized I was an alcoholicand I was attending counselling and going to AA meetings.She got on a flight and came down to visit me in Vancouver.To make a long story short, she realized that I was seriousabout giving up drinking – and moved in with me in thelower mainland in BC. She went along with me to mycounselling sessions, and she even tagged along to some of

the AA meetings.While my mind was clearing up, my stomach wasn’t.

It was getting back at me for all my years of drinking. Iexperienced some pretty severe withdrawal pains for thenext three or four months.

My body kept demanding sweets as a replacement forthe alcohol that it wasn’t getting – so I kept feeding myself

sweets. Before too long, I ended up with sugar diabetes,and I had to give up on the sweets. What could I do to



7Introduction

example. After fifty-two years of hard drinking, I managedto turn my life around and give up on alcohol – if I could

do it anybody can do it – and maybe reading about myexample would give them a little bit of encouragement.

I started reading books, taking clippings out of thepaper, writing notes, going to the library and spendinghours there reading. And, of course, I was still going to myAA meetings and going to counselling. The more I got intomy book, the more enthusiastic I got about it. It has helped

me come to terms with a lot of things I have done over theyears, and has helped in some small way to right some of the many wrongs that I have done.



Part 1

Age 1-6 — 1929-1935

I was born on a farm in Saskatchewan in 1929, the thirdchild of Lewis and Minnie Lien. The farm was located about37 miles northwest of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.

We lived two miles from Lake Valley where I went toschool. The town got the name from its location. It wassituated between “Pelican Lake” to the South of it, and“Qu’appelle Valley” to the North.

Lake Valley was a friendly little town – it had two grainelevators, a railroad station, store, church, school house andseveral homes. Farming was the only source of income and

employment in this district besides the local store, railroadstation and grain companies.In those days, farmers had to have horses to work their

farms, cows for milk and beef, pigs for pork, and chickensfor eggs and meat. Everyone planted a large garden and ahuge potato patch. Meat and vegetables were canned forthe winter, and potatoes were placed in a large root cellardug in the basement.

My Mom and Dad were hard working parents that lovedus kids all six of us very dearly When my Dad wasn’t



10 Merv Lien

main source of income. Being a young and curious boy, Ialways worked with my Dad when he was fixing motors and

machinery, so I got a knack for it at an early age.Dad was a wonderful violin player who played by ear. He

could hear a piece of music once, then play it beautifully.We spent a lot of pleasant evenings in the living room whereDad played the violin for us. We also spent some eveningswhere Mom and Dad were the audience while we kids wouldput on plays for them. They would laugh and clap for us,

and these were all very happy times.Mother was a very hard worker, and she looked afterher family well. I loved her homemade bread hot out of the oven with butter on it. She also spent a lot of time inthe garden, getting up before any of the rest of us so thatshe could work in the garden before it got too hot outside.Practically everything we wore, was made by my Mom, as

she was quite a talented seamstress. Back in those days,nobody ever heard of going to town to shop for clothes– or to shop for anything else for that matter. There simplywasn’t any money for things like that. These were the dirtythirties and what you made, grew or raised was all that youhad to survive on.

Mom wasn’t musical like my Dad was, but she stillliked to sing anyway and was a very happy person. I canremember one day when she was standing on the table andwashing the ceiling. She was singing away, out of tune asusual, and we were all laughing at her. She had one footon the table, and the other foot was on the radio so thatshe could reach the corner. She just looked at us kids witha grin, and with her great sense of humour, she said “how many of you kids have ever sung on the radio?” She never

stopped singing, and she never lost her sense of humour.I had two older sisters and two younger sisters before



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