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Jillian Clarkbut nothing ever

there is enough cat hair on this desk

for every one of my ribs and then some

i'm just kidding i wouldn't have written this if i was fourteen

i would make the poem go in one direction

like a bored star

at the start of the next stanza

i would say something like

you see, you never wanted any poems

and i would say 'this is what i have'

and you would fall asleep or maybe i would fall asleep

i pretended that i was asleep when you read my favorite book out loud

the honesty of the moment almost made me sad

the pressure of your arm on my back was

something new, i guess

it's strange

i am learning all of your rhythms and that's something new, i guess

i am dreaming that i am too forward with everyone

that my breasts are mirrors to look through

if i stop writing poetry now then i will have given in

and that math course i have to take next year will cause me to suffer

we were sitting across from each other at waffle house

those big round lights were above your face

you were like a hundred madonnas

it was 2:30 a.m. at wafflehouse and these girls were singing something holy

i stared at your face and i thought, i am learning about you right now

i want to take the test before i forget everything

i want to write down all of your mnemonic devices

when everything goes to shit can you please be touching my collarbone

i haven't been to the ocean since blood wedding

i was supposed to write

this poem and place this

poem square between

us instead of calling you

i was in love on this day

but nothing ever

i've got no taste for history,

she said, all those treaties

all those sour and self

righteous people. and a

dog could do arithmetic-

don't get me started on

arithmetic. what's the purpose

of a poem if you ring it

dry? a poem is better

left in the sink, not all hung

up from a poplar tree

a poem and a present are better

left unopened

walking home at 2:21 a.m. in the rain with christmas lights thinking that i want to recap everything that just happened but deciding against it

occasionally i hear my name

and i think i might be invisible to the people around me

and i am afraid of what they will say

and the quality and tone of their voices

i texted you just to say "what are you doing?"

but it is almost one am and you are probably asleep

someone quiet and invisible with ocean arms to wrap around

that would be nice on this night

Crispin Best

Portrait of Captain Planet as a Young Man

Captain Planet is outside his ex-girlfriend’s house. He is holding a bag of recycling and looking up at her bedroom window. She isn’t there.

Captain Planet goes to the recycling place. The bins are all different colours. They are covered in snow. He puts each thing from his bag into the correct bin. He doesn't know what will happen to these things after he puts them in the bins. He feels strange.

Captain Planet sits down on the curb and looks around and there is a small rat on a pile of garbage. The rat is not interested in Captain Planet.

Captain Planet starts to walk to the park. Cars are driving very slowly. On the pavement, Captain Planet stays as far away from the shops as possible. He doesn't want any automatic doors to open unnecessarily. It would be a terrible waste of electricity.

Captain Planet walks around the park for a long time. There are lots of birds. They are excited about something. It is very cold. Captain Planet looks down at his red bellytop and underpants and sighs.

Captain Planet thinks about his ex-girlfriend. He asked her not to use the hairdryer so much and she still used the hairdryer so Captain Planet split up with her. Captain Planet probably wishes he hadn't.

Captain Planet sits down on a bench. People are jogging through the park. It is too cold to jog. There is a plastic bag hanging from a branch like a chicken.

 

Captain Planet goes home.

Captain Planet’s parents are away for the weekend. He feels good about that. When he gets home the heating is on so he turns it off. He stands in the kitchen and feels strange. Everything is a waste of electricity. He unplugs the television and sits down on the sofa.

The lights are all off. The heating is off. Captain Planet puts on a jumper. He gets under a blanket. He goes to sleep.

When he wakes up, there is a half-eaten tin of macaroni cheese next to the sofa. Captain Planet doesn’t remember eating any macaroni cheese.

Captain Planet drinks some fruit juice. He realises the fridge is using electricity. There is nothing important in the fridge. Captain Planet turns the fridge off at the wall.

Captain Planet smells terrible. There is lots of washing up to do. Captain Planet has an idea. He puts the dirty dishes on the floor in the shower. Captain Planet feels very proud of his idea as he has a shower.

The food from the plates clogs up the plughole. Captain Planet feels terrible.

Captain Planet leaves the dishes and the foodwater in the shower and dries himself off. He looks at himself pulling at his hair in the mirror. His hair always looks ridiculous.

Captain Planet goes and sits back on the sofa. He gets under a blanket and feels strange. It is cold. Two days ago he built a snowman. He thinks about taking a scarf off of a snowman. He feels uncomfortable about the idea. He would feel like a pervert.

Captain Planet thinks about his ex-girlfriend and looks at his phone. He headbutts his knee a bit and makes a decision.

Captain Planet goes back to the park. More people are jogging. There are icy puddles on the ground. He is worried for the people and for the puddles.

He feels strange again. He is sure there is no way he can use electricity in the park. This makes him feel more relaxed. He blows into his hands. The birds are quieter today.

Captain Planet wants to phone his ex-girlfriend. He looks at his phone. He puts his phone in his pocket. Then he looks at it again. Then he puts it in his bag.

People are walking their dogs. The dogs are chasing sticks. Whenever the dog gets a stick, Captain Planet feels much better. The person throws the stick and the dog runs and runs and gets the stick and everyone is happy.

Captain Planet watches this happening and starts to feel better.

There is a woman. She throws a stick and her dog just looks up at her. The dog sits there. It is so awful.

Captain Planet’s phone starts ringing. He feels a little bit sick. He tries to find his phone in his bag. When he finds the phone, the screen blinks off. Captain Planet pulls a face. He tries to turn it back on. The battery is dead. It doesn't turn back on.

Captain Planet looks at his dead phone in his hand. He is making faces at his phone.

In the distance, geese are angry in the pond.

Captain Planet looks at his phone.

A dog is making a noise. The plastic bag is still in the tree.

Captain Planet has no idea what to do.

He looks around. He is not sure what he is looking at. He sits on the bench and looks around.

Chris EastPeople went to the hills but I stayed at home

The ground is wet and the air is cold and I am sat in my bedroom and I am not sure what to do today. I look out

a window then out of a different window to check that the first window was truthful and honest and it was but I still do not know what to do today.

I look at my mobile telephone and realise that there are people who I would like to be able to contact right now who I cannot contact because I do not have their telephone numbers so I look at my email contact list and they are not on that either and it reminds me that there are still people in real life who are separate from the internet for me and that is nice to know and makes me feel positive I think.

My iPod is on my bed and I think about putting the earphones in and listening to something dumb and loud just to see what happens. Perhaps my head will explode or I will throw myself against the wall until it cracks and I can speak to the neighbours.

I should get dressed first.

I wish I had some smarter clothes and I wish I could dress like a businessman and people would think that I was successful in business and they would respect my bank account. Ha.

My friends have gone for a walk on hills and grass covered ground and rocks and I opted not to join in because I am lazy and under prepared for such a task. I am a city man. I am not a hills and rocks and walking boots man. I am not a countryside man. I am a mobile phone sunglasses yuppie man with indefinable ambition and the desire for success without any effort. I am not outdoors man.

I want an idea right now to come to me and I want it to be like a flash of lightning. Like an overflowing bathtub and an apple bump on the head. I want to be all like,

Fuck, how come that did not happen before, my brain will never be the same. I want something I can sell.

I want an idea I can sell. I want to be in a position where my ideas are making money for me. I want for my brain to work in a way that is focused and productive and driven. I want to achieve.

The clouds form a giant grey fist in the sky and I am inside the fist. I am in my bedroom inside a cloud-fist thinking of things to do and eating toast.

Ryan ManningBeck

I think this is because Katrina put the words 'I love you' near the

words 'please' when she was role-playing what she would say to Beck if

she ever met him: "I love you please have my children it's OK if you

abort them fine just let me put it in you." Oh.

(Source: http://wewillallgosimultaneous.blogspot.com/2009/01/hundredandfortyninth-sheena-was-man.html)

Alison Zullo

i'm supposed to go to a show

with this girl michelle

but it's in park slope

and that's kind of far

(Source: AOL Instant Messenger)

Amor Platonicus

The Platonic ideal of love was that of a chaste but deep love transcending mortal life. This love was meant to bring two people closer to wisdom and the Platonic form of beauty. Of particular importance are ideas which present love as a means of ascent to contemplation of the Divine. for Diotima, and for Plato generally, the most correct use of love of other human beings is to direct one's mind to love of Divinity. In short, with genuine Platonic love, the beautiful or lovely other person inspires the mind and the soul and directs one's attention to spiritual things. One proceeds

from recognition on another's beauty, to appreciation of beauty as it exists apart from any individual, to consideration of Divinity, the source of beauty, to love of Divinity.

(Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platonic_love)

David FishkindMonday/Tuesday

a woman got in a car accident

she had terrible whiplash and went to the hospital

they took an x-ray of her neck

her odontoid process had been broken

she was placed under immediate medical care

they put a very high-tech, heavy duty neck brace on her

they ran metal rods through her skull for stabilization

they will perform surgery to pin her odontoid process back in place

she will be in intense pain for a time, but will live 

My Ideal Roommate

I want a roommate who will only date medieval girls

and when he brings them home they cook big roasted hens

and speak in long drawn out English accents

girls who are really into Beowulf and the Holy Bible

since there’s nothing else for them to read

they’d be tall girls probably about five foot seven

with rough hands from doing farm work and cleaning

ones that could weave baskets and milk goats

and they’d drink hard cider and grain alcohol and beer

because the water in their towns is contaminated with feces

when my roommate goes out for class or work

I want to sit and talk to his medieval girlfriends

while they laze around the room bored and complain

about our lack of a terrace and our lack of fresh eggs and milk

they will all play the harp and lute with ease

they will all have powerful fathers with lots of debt

and they will complain about me because I am Jewish

and they will ask to see my horns

but I’ll refuse to show them and instead we’ll all get drunk

me, my roommate, and his medieval girlfriend 

--

sadness is a small ball wrapped in tin foil

when you open it up you can eat the ball

it tastes like bitter chocolate

and you think to yourself “mmm?”

at first sadness doesn’t seem too bad

you will tough it out and get to the middle of the ball

the first twenty seconds are the hardest part you think

after the first twenty seconds you are only a little bit closer to the middle of the ball

you get to the middle of the ball and it’s the same as the rest

you finish the ball and say “okay now that’s over”

sadness is the aftertaste of the small ball wrapped in tin foil

you brush your teeth but it remains on the back of your tongue

you decide you will distract yourself

you check your email, you write a paper about existentialism in hamlet, you watch seven movies about sad people, you call your grandfather, you drink a gallon of arizona iced tea, you talk to your parents, you do calculus problem sets, you read short story books, you look at your sister’s wedding dress, you change your shirt, you take a shower, you play with your dog, you cry, you write a poem, you fix your watch, you look up information on marlin brando on imdb, you play tetris, you sleep from four o’clock to ten o’clock get up watch dvr recorded television call your friends leave stupid messages and sit up on aol instant messenger waiting for returned calls, you look through old photo albums, you steal something to make yourself feel better

sadness is a small lingering effect of something you did once that stays on the back of your tongue 

Kristen Shawa painting none of us can crawl in or out of

a maze of tiny staircases stick out of your skin:

descend and discover openingsbroken vats,bits of brain floating in amniotic fluid

miniscule rips in your side are entrances to a larger cavern where chained philosophers praise their dancing shadows on the walls of black lungs

when I lie on top of you the serrated edges of tiny structures puncture my skin until we are full of symmetrical slots;

these are collisionsdecorating surgical bodies splayed on a tablelimbs pulled back with pins

when aroused by instrumentswe liqueifyuntil all that remains are fragments:a broken foundationstairways drained of bloodribs curled in on themselvesdebrisdrifting, bloated with life

I only wanted to feel moisture and the proximity of organic things.

Imagine Nietzsche crumbling and sobbing against a horse's body, face pressed against the hot skin, whisperingwe are all broken

--

Men like targetsdesires planted

spilled seed is a sinthe body is just a receptacle

flower mosaic crawls up walls of dupont stationpetals unfurl colours flash like shots in eyes open pressed against windows

the tunnel crushed its leaves in wounds

will you bite my lip?can I cuddle with Baudelaire in a bath tub?we can talk about vampires if you wantwe’ll mourn lost infinitiespotentialities thrown to wind

maybe somewhere light years away

anonymous double will reap the benefitsof this obnoxious time

littered by the light pollution of open windows

Adam Showalter

the Amish are safe

the Amish are safethe Amish are safethe Amish are safe from all of this

i want to till the ground

tend to the stock

plant the seed

fall in love with nothing

wonder at the moon

dream again

sweatand think only ofsweat

please give me the overallsand everything black and whitebecause i'll do itbecause i'm already walking in shitand there is no harvesthere

yesterday i didn't have the energy to finish a cigarette (hahaha)

to combat bouts ofsevere depression and anxietytry rolling your eyes and whistlingand saying aloud 'it's gonna be one o' those days'and laughinguntil the laughter makes senseor you lose your voice

all the colors

it's the dream where you explodeinto a thousand colors

that don't existand wakingtear open a pack ofcrayonsand try to makeeach oneand failingsmoke a pack ofcigarettesin the rainuntil you seeall the colorsleaking from the ashtray

Glen BingerJealous

Aliens stole my girlfriend last Tuesday night. Again.

I was sitting outside on the balcony of my apartment high rise, watching the cars’ tail lights drive over the hill with Janet, my girlfriend. We were talking about how many miles she had on her sedan. 40,000. She bought it just over a year ago. It was almost brand new.

Just as the traffic started to slow, like last time, we heard a knock on the door. Of course, I got up and answered it, expecting Judo and Kudlar.

“Oh, hey guys,” I said closing the door behind them.

“Hey, Alex. What’s up?” They were just as polite as last time. “Hope we’re not imposing.”

“No, not at all,” I lied through my teeth.

“Cool.”

There was an awkward silence as they sat down at the kitchen table. Their purple skin seemed a little bit darker than I remembered it. I wasn’t sure what it meant; maybe a change in emotion or something.

“Is everything okay?” I broke the silence.

“Yeah, we were just bored. Wanted to swing by and see what was going on,” Judo said.

I knew what they were up to. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Do you guys wanna grab some food or something,” asked Kudlar.

“Well we just ate,” I said, “so I’m not really-”

Janet cut me off, “I’ll go.”

She was smiling and I felt a rush of jealousy swarm my being. Judo and Kudlar grew smiles on their long rectangular faces. Their eyes extended up out of their sockets on the top of their head, which I guess was a sign of their happiness because the same thing happened last time she decided to go out with them.

“Cool,” they said simultaneously.

“I’ll go start the car,” said Judo as he slid across the floor out the door.

“Okay,” I said, confused. “What time do you guys think you’ll be back?”

“We’ll bring her back by midnight, Dad,” said Kudlar, laughing.

I wanted to punch him in his tooth and yank the ear right off of his face.

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll be here.”

“Love you, see you in a bit,” Janet said.

She grabbed her jacket and walked out the door behind Kudlar. I wiped the chairs off with a paper towel and heard their ’95 Civic putter away. I turned on the television and sat down on the sofa, waiting for midnight.

Adam Coatespoem

the only email in my inbox is from myself

and somehow i have broken microsoft word.

microsoft could be a brand of toilet paper

i like when my eyes are wide

and the brightness of the screen in front of me overpowers everything and all i can see is a glow.

i hate the fact than when i wake up tomorrow i will have lost all my convictions of this night

i think i will wake as a totally different person

and so this person who i am now is about to die

i very much doubt this thinking is going to help me sleep

in the summer i mostly forget that i have a nose

but in the winter it makes itself noticed

i am thinking about vegetable ravioli

i would like a reindeer to ride like a horse

i would take it to lectures with me

i mean i would ride it to lectures

it would take me

it would also take me to supermarkets

and i would ride it down the aisles

but because i would find this embarrassing i would only go late at night

i would tell the security guards that it is like a blinddog

or i would get a blind dog for the moose reindeer

and that would confuse everyone so much that they wouldn’t feel comfortable complaining.

but don’t worry, the reindeer is not blind

and the blinddog would be collapsible for when i want the reindeer to gallop

so that the dog folds away into a little container

I would like you to hear about me and my moose reindeer in a newspaper

no, in a magazine

and then i would ride past you on my reindeer

and pretend i haven’t noticed you

and you would think that i must be a wonderful and clever person because i am riding a reindeer

and then you will want to get to know me

and so you will be enthusiastic about our relationship

and that is all i really want

sleep at 4:30

Though nothing is certain

I am going to sleep

And then I will wake up

And I will probably feel anxious and annoyed that I am still alive

But it will be expected

And then some things will happen

Examples include drinking coffee, breathing, looking at things,

There is a 50% chance that I will come into physical contact with another person

But that will be accidental

Or unwelcome

There is a 99.99% probability that I will not suddenly fall in love tomorrow and spend the rest of my life

happily with the person I have fallen in love with.

Leaves will fall from the trees and I will tread on some as I walk to and fro.

To and from places.

I will say some words, I will write some words, I will solve some problems and I will be unable to solve other problems in as much as that is possible.

Somewhere in the world it will rain.

Actually many places in the world it will rain.

Many people will be annoyed by the rain.

There will be more people who do not think about that it has not rained on them than people who are annoyed that it has rained on them.

There may be ten million sneezes but I really have no guess at the actual number

I am not even sure how many people there are in the world.

And I can name more world leaders in film making than I can in politics

poem

yesterday i saw the sky and i thought of youi wondered it you think stilli want you to sit beside me for a little amount of time(i want you to sit beside me forever)i want to point at the ring on my deskand for you to ask me what it means(i just happen to have it)

yesterday i did not write a single word to youbut the day before i didi want you to explain to me how you sleep

DJ Berndt

I See Myself

they say that

you see yourself

in other people.

this is especially true

at your own intervention

or at someone else's funeral.

I See Life I See Death I Am God I Am Not

there is so much life in everything i see.even in a thing that I can squish between my fingers.it makes me want to call myself a god.

it makes me want to call myself a mortalwhen i remind myself of dying alone and incapable.there is so much death in everything i see.

Ttrip To The Aquarium

the scream

of a whale

decimated in half

by a shark.

the silent suffering

of millions of plankton

quietly swallowed up

without notice

ContributorsJillian Clark – http://almostrevelations.blogspot.com/

Crispin Best – http://wewillallgosimultaneous.blogspot.com/

Chris East – http://latenighttaxidriverbadminton.blogspot.com/

Ryan Manning – http://gus-van-sant.blogspot.com/

David Fishkind – http://baby-hedgehogs-american-apparel-dogs.blogspot.com/

Kristen Shaw – http://escapingvoices.blogspot.com/

Adam Showalter – http://orsoneatsfrozenpeas.blogspot.com/

Glen Binger – http://glenbinger.blogspot.com/

Adam Coates – http://internettlesoup.blogspot.com/

DJ Berndt – http://deejberndt.blogspot.com/

Created by:DJ Berndt811 Janet AvenueLancaster PA 17601

717-799-4254