paranoid personality disorder
TRANSCRIPT
Living With Paranoid Personality Disorder
What is Paranoid Personality Disorder?A psychological illness that is persistent
and chronic
As a result, I:Am suspicious of people
Feel lied too and betrayed by even my most loved
Get angry when I think I am being deceived
Search for underlying messages in speech or writing
Effect on my Personal LifeI went to college for one year, but left because
people kept staring at me.I live in a house by myself now
I like to keep the curtains drawn, those drones nowadays are sneaky things
I pretend to be sick when we have family gatherings, I think my cousin is taking notes of my actions
My girlfriend left because I wouldn’t trust her.
I am not completely alone, I find ways to occupy myself where I don’t have to interact with people
ExpressionThrough
Art
This piece shows the danger of opening the blinds because the crows (a.k.a. Surveillance drones) can look in.
This is a still from my favorite movie “The Shining.” That girl should have been more paranoid so she can protect herself.
This piece shows how lonely I feel sometimes, but then I remember that it is safer to live secluded and I feel better.
This was a puzzle I made for myself because I love cracking code and trying to figure out what things actually mean.
A Day in My Life1.Wake up at 5:30 am and check the camera
footage from last night
2.Brew myself some coffee
3.Make sure the doors are locked before I go take a shower
4.Go to the basement to work on my online college classes
5.Order food from the local chinese place to be delivered at the abandoned house down the street
6.Feed my dog
7.Maybe paint something or watch TV
8.Go to bed around 10:30 pm
How I Feel about this DisorderWhen I was first diagnosed, I
thought my doctor was just trying to trick me, but as I observed some of the symptoms I heard him describe, I began to believe it. I don’t mind having this illness, I feel safe when I take all those precautions.
Why I think I have itWhen I was young, I was afraid of many things. My mother told me about her grandfather who was also afraid and didn’t like to talk to people because he was suspicious. I might have gotten it from him. Also when I was young, kidnappers broke into my house and stole my little sister. I was suspicious of people and their nature ever since.
I am not Alone Many other people have this disorder. Some famous people include:
Josef Stalin
Richard Nixon
How I got HelpI realized that I have an actual issue when my girlfriend left and I left regular college classes because I thought people were watching me. I started out by emailing the psychology office in town and talking through email. We agreed to meet at a location in the middle.
ImprovementMy therapist used psychoanalysis and operant conditioning to help me realize that not everything is out to get me. Eventually I allowed her to come into my house and she helped me clean up and make it a better place for facilitating improvement.
A ChangeI first started to notice changes with my art. It suddenly became a bit brighter and more vibrant. There was less of a focus on seclusion and protection and more focus on the future and some of the more beautiful things in nature I might have skipped over with my paranoia.
This piece has a focus on the bird and uses a vibrant blue
This work is set during a bright fall day where the leaves are changing.
TodayNow, I still live with my paranoid personality disorder and I still suffer from the symptoms, but I have learned to open myself up and appreciate people. I now know that this is a disease and not anything that is helping me live a safer life because I am endangering relationships and my mental health.
This is a project for a high school AP Psychology course. This is a fictionalized account of having a psychological ailment. For questions about this blog project or its content please email this teacher, Laura Astorian: [email protected]