parenting the pampered generation living in a culture of entitlement dr. maggie mamen psychologist

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PARENTING THE PARENTING THE PAMPERED GENERATION PAMPERED GENERATION Living in a Culture Living in a Culture of Entitlement of Entitlement Dr. Maggie Mamen Dr. Maggie Mamen Psychologist Psychologist

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PARENTING THEPARENTING THEPAMPERED GENERATIONPAMPERED GENERATION

Living in a Culture Living in a Culture of Entitlementof Entitlement

Dr. Maggie MamenDr. Maggie MamenPsychologistPsychologist

WARNING!

This presentation may involve politically incorrect opinions,

relatively coarse language,and common sense.

Viewer discretion is advised.

“Children these days are tyrants. They contradict

their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their

teachers.”

Socrates, 400 BC

CREATING THE “ME” GENERATION

Backlash against “Victorian” parenting

Children’s rights movementLegislation regarding decision-making

Legacy of abuseChild-centred, focus on self-esteem

NOTE TO SELF:YOU GOTTA DO THIS FOR YOU.THIS IS FOR YOU. THIS ISN’T ABOUT ANYBODY. LIVE FOR YOU. HONOUR YOU. NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF THAT.

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MYTHS THAT CHILDREN SHOULD …

always be happy and never be bored

be given choices, and be consulted before adults make decisions

be told why they have to do something and agree with the reason

be treated equally to each other and to adults

have their needs met immediately

always feel good about themselves

Culture of entitlement

Confuse rights/privileges, wants/needs

Think they’re ‘management’

Addicted to high levels of stimulation

Zero tolerance for boredom

THE PAMPEREDGENERATION …

Limited problem-solving skills to deal with real life experience

Lack of respect for adults/authority

Child-driven, powerless, devalued parents

Increasing incidence of mental health problems

THE PAMPEREDGENERATION …

FIVE LESSONSTO COUNTER THE CULTURE OF ENTITLEMENT

“SHORT-TERM PAIN FOR LONG-TERM GAIN”To learn to develop patience and a good work ethic

not everything we do is “fun,” and we won’t always like what we’re asked to dosometimes we have to do something over and over in order to improve hard work, persistence, grit pay off!

“OUT OF BOREDOM COMES CREATIVITY”

(Albert Einstein)

To learn to develop internal resources to adapt to the real world we need to tolerate “down-time ” being “bored” isn’t the ticket to more exciting things to do even virtuosos sometimes have

to play with the orchestra

“SOMETIMES CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN BUT NOT HEARD”

To learn respect for others

“good listening” impulse control a time and a place

“YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!”To learn that our choices give us some control over our fate …

informed choices – if there is a choice! living with chosen consequences building trust and credibility

“LIFE IS NOT A DEMOCRACY”

To learn that life does not

always treat people equally

you will not always be consulted about important decisions “weighted” votes who said life is fair?

A DOZEN USEFUL PHRASES …That’s nice! Good for you! Really?It’s your choice. It’s up to you.I don’t have to, I choose to.We have a problem here.So this is what’s going to happen.If you want an answer now, it’s “no.”That’s not the issue.When you have …, then you may …Let me know when you’re ready.I know you’re angry/upset/…, so …Because I asked you to!Suck it up!

Available from

www.centrepointepros.com

www.amazon.co.uk www.jkp.com

oras an e-book