Parents in the Know

Peer Pressure

Resisting Peer Pressure

It’s important to help your child know what to do when confronted by peer pressure. First, encourage your child to take a breath. Your child should take time to think about her answer. Encourage her to find words related to the action (ex. that’s stealing) and think it through. Almost all things that children are pressured to do risk serious consequences. Help your child think about what they could do instead. Encourage your child to suggest a different activity. If your child is not successful in redirecting the situation, tell her to walk away. Based on: GreatSchools, “The Five Steps to Resisting Peer Pressure”, http://www.greatschools.org/parenting/behavior-discipline/3654-5-steps-resist-peer-pressure.gs

Help Your Child Cope with Peer Pressure

Standing up to peer pressure is hard for anyone to do. But, it is especially hard for children. In order to help your children stand up to peer pressure: 1. Strengthen your relationship- Let them know you are always there to talk 2. Encourage your children’s self- esteem- Children with high self-esteem are more resistant to peer pressure 3. Be a good example- Stand up for what you believe in 4. Talk about peer pressure 5. Don’t overreact when issues arise 6. Choose your battles- Don’t get upset when your children try to exhibit their individuality 7. Help your children be good decision makers- Practice makes perfect 8. Practice “comebacks”- Help your children practice things that can be said in response to peer pressure 9. Know your children’s friends 10. Set healthy limits

Based on: A Better Child, “10 Ways You Can Help Your Child Cope with Peer Pressure”, http://www.education.com/print/Ref_10_Ways_You_Can_Help/

The Pressure to Fit In

Research shows that children as young as four years old will change their views of a situation to fit in with a group even if they know it is wrong. The desire to fit in, have friends, and be part of a group begins early on. Therefore, it is never too early to talk with your children about peer pressure and doing what they think is right. The earlier and more often you talk with your children about standing up to peer pressure, the better prepared they will be. Based on: Paxman, L. “How Four-Year-Olds Succumb to Peer Pressure”, http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2054577/How-year-olds-succumb-peer-pressure-know-behaviour-wrong.html

What Research Says

A recent survey conducted by Time/Nickelodeon including 991 children ages 9 -14 found that: * 36% said they felt peer pressure to smoke marijuana * 36% felt pressure to shoplift * 40% felt pressure to drink * 7 % of 4th grade, 8 % of 5th grade, and 13 % of 6th grade students had tried beer, liquor, or wine coolers.

Based on: Borba, M. (2009). “Kids Say Peer Pressure Intense”, http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2009/09/22/michele-borba-peer-pressure-more-intense-than-ever-real-parenting-solutions-to-fix-another-troubling-youth-trend/

All clip art and photos from Clipart.com

Peer Pressure

Book Corner

Spotlight on Peer Pressure Many times children’s literature can be used to begin discussions about difficult situations. Chapter books are wonderful to read aloud to your elementary aged child. Some good read aloud books that would encourage good discussions are: Stanley and the Class Pet, by Barney Saltzberg Pinky and Rex and the Bully, by James Howe Purplicious, by Victoria Kann One of Us, by Peggy Moss Fourth Grade Rats, by Jerry Spinelli Ruby Slippers, by Tricia Rayburn All but Alice, by Phyllis Reynold Naylor

The Pressure Children Feel Children feel peer pressure regarding a wide variety of topics. Elementary aged children often feel pressure regarding their friends and the way they dress. As children age, friends and clothes continue to be a point of pressure; however, more serious issues arise related to drugs, alcohol, smoking, and dating relationships. Succumbing to peer pressure often results in loss of self-esteem from children participating in actions that conflict with their personal values. Repeatedly giving in to peer pressure can harm a child’s belief in his ability to make good choices. Many children who have succumbed to peer pressure feel as though they are bad people, rather than good people who may have made poor choices. It’s important for your child to know that your love and support are unconditional. You might hate your child’s actions. However, you could never hate your child.

Helping Your Child Prepare for Peer Pressure

All children are going to face peer pressure at one time or another. So, you should make talking about making good choices a regular part of your conversation. Help your child know how to say “no”. Make sure that your child knows that it’s a good idea to talk to someone at school or home if he is being made to feel pressured. Make sure that your child has a good support system including friends and family who are good examples. Also, it’s important to explain to your child why drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes are bad choices.

“Before jumping on the band wagon, make sure you know where it’s headed.”

Kimberly Bandy

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Three Types of Peer Pressure

There are three different types of peer pressure that children face. Direct negative peer pressure is pressure children feel to do something that they know is wrong. Indirect peer pressure is the unspoken pressure children feel by being surrounded by people doing something they know is wrong. Positive peer pressure is the pressure children feel to do something good because others are.