pathways - sadie rose foundationsadierosefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2.1...2012/02/02...

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From Regina’s Desk This feature includes selected corre- spondence into and out of our email box, our mailbox, and voicemail. We are delighted to share moments of gratitude, outreach, and connection. A representative from Universi- ty of Virginia Medical Center acknowledged receipt of SRF brochures to be made availa- ble to parents using the hospital’s services. In her email, she also asked to be added to the newsletter list and provided a connec- tion to the hospital’s chaplain staff. (As a licensed minister, Regina is able to make pastoral visits within this hospital, and of course, more local hospitals). Many SRF friends have been served by the Medical Center and Children’s Hospital, including the Harlow family, and we are deeply grati- fied at their support of our outreach. Last summer, a mother-in-law contacted the SRF for help and support when her son and daughter-in-law lost twins. As is our policy when we are contacted on behalf of a bereaved parent, we offer support and let those we reach out to decide when and if to reach back to us. Recently, the mother emailed: “The day I came home from the hospital, I had an amazing package waiting for us from the Foundation. All the things inside meant so much to me. If I could re- ceive a monthly newsletter, I would love that! Please let me know what I need to do.” Bereavement packages, which contain a handwritten condolence note, small items made by other bereaved parents and also information about SRF support meetings, are often our first outreach. Sometimes we don’t know the impact this makes until many months later. Another family asked to re- ceive the newsletter. The mother writes: It's been almost 5 years since my miscarriage and it still hurts to think that I could have another precious little angel running around. God has since blessed my husband and I with a daughter to join her big broth- er. Thank you for being such a wonderful support group. I know you have helped so many. I sometimes feel guilty for being sad when I know there are many others who have lost babies either very late in their pregnancies or during the first few days or weeks of their newborns lives. I hadn't even reached the end of my first trimester when I lost my baby, but it hurt just the same. Thanks again for all of you do. We were happy to receive notice that our workshop “Helping others to honor our grief” has been accepted for the July 2014 Compassionate Friends national conference in Chicago, IL. Regina Harlow plans to pre- sent the workshop to the SRF friends and in a local venue before traveling to the con- ference. See more information about the workshop on page 3 of this newsletter and watch our website and Facebook page for details about upcoming local presentations. February 1, 2014 Support for child, infant and pregnancy loss Volume 2 Issue 4 Pathways Miss our last newsleer? All newsleers can be viewed on our website. For a hard copy, contact our office. “Because the path of grief after losing a child should never be walked alone” Mailing Address: P.O. Box 382 Dayton, VA 22821 Physical address: 206 Main Street Suite B Dayton, VA 22821 www.sadierosefoundation.org ~ 540-810-0307~ [email protected] Support groups, Internet community, One-on-one lay counseling, Remembrance events 6—Miscarriage Support Meeting, 6:30 pm 10—Bereaved Parent Support Meeting, 7 pm 13—Monthly Support Coffee, 9:30 am 28—Bereaved Family Support Meeting See details and locations for all events inside this newsletter In Our Mailbox * If you would like to share your story of loss and how the Sadie Rose Foundation has impacted your grief journey, please contact our office. * If you know of someone who might benefit from the support we offer, please help us make the connection. * Subscribe to the SRF website to receive an email each time we publish a blog. Visit our website and subscribe in the top right-hand corner. Lauren Jefferson and Kassandra Lambert contributed to this newsletter. Wow! So many amazing things we’ve expe- rienced together, so many things to look to- ward. While nothing replaces the lives of the children we are grieving, walking the journey together can be what carries us through. Because of YOU, our donors, volunteers, and supporters, because of YOUR support and efforts to continue the SRF mission, we are able to expand ways to connect, to process, and to be here for each other. At our January board meeting, the board made a motion to approve leasing a second room in our current facility. One side will be used for storage and the other for childcare. This opens our office downstairs to offer all our support meetings, workshops, Bible studies, etc. in house. We are excited to offer this to our SRF support community! Thanks for making this possible. “...because the path of grief after losing a child should never be walked alone.” This month’s newsletter is sponsored by Joy Belle in loving memory of her son, John Douglas, born, lived, and died 2/20/2011. For information on sponsorships, contact our office.

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Page 1: Pathways - Sadie Rose Foundationsadierosefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2.1...2012/02/02  · Compassion through The One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment

From Regina’s Desk

This feature includes selected corre-

spondence into and out of our email

box, our mailbox, and voicemail. We

are delighted to share moments of

gratitude, outreach, and connection.

A representative from Universi-

ty of Virginia Medical Center acknowledged

receipt of SRF brochures to be made availa-

ble to parents using the hospital’s services.

In her email, she also asked to be added to

the newsletter list and provided a connec-

tion to the hospital’s chaplain staff. (As a

licensed minister, Regina is able to make

pastoral visits within this hospital, and of

course, more local hospitals). Many SRF

friends have been served by the Medical

Center and Children’s Hospital, including

the Harlow family, and we are deeply grati-

fied at their support of our outreach.

Last summer, a mother-in-law contacted

the SRF for help and support when her son

and daughter-in-law lost twins. As is our

policy when we are contacted on behalf of a

bereaved parent, we offer support and let

those we reach out to decide when and if to

reach back to us. Recently, the mother

emailed: “The day I came home from the

hospital, I had an amazing package waiting

for us from the Foundation. All the things

inside meant so much to me. If I could re-

ceive a monthly newsletter, I would love

that! Please let me know what I need to do.”

Bereavement packages, which contain a

handwritten condolence note, small items

made by other bereaved parents

and also information about SRF

support meetings, are often our

first outreach. Sometimes we don’t

know the impact this makes until

many months later.

Another family asked to re-

ceive the newsletter. The mother writes: It's

been almost 5 years since my miscarriage

and it still hurts to think that I could have

another precious little angel running

around. God has since blessed my husband

and I with a daughter to join her big broth-

er. Thank you for being such a wonderful

support group. I know you have helped so

many. I sometimes feel guilty for being sad

when I know there are many others who

have lost babies either very late in their

pregnancies or during the first few days or

weeks of their newborns lives. I hadn't even

reached the end of my first trimester when I

lost my baby, but it hurt just the same.

Thanks again for all of you do.

We were happy to receive notice that our

workshop “Helping others to honor our

grief” has been accepted for the July 2014

Compassionate Friends national conference

in Chicago, IL. Regina Harlow plans to pre-

sent the workshop to the SRF friends and

in a local venue before traveling to the con-

ference. See more information about the

workshop on page 3 of this newsletter and

watch our website and Facebook page for

details about upcoming local presentations.

February 1, 2014

Support for child, infant and pregnancy loss

Volume 2 Issue 4

Pathways

Miss our last newsletter?

All newsletters can be

viewed on our website.

For a hard copy, contact

our office.

“Because the path of grief after losing a child should never be walked alone”

Mailing Address: P.O. Box 382 Dayton, VA 22821

Physical address: 206 Main Street Suite B Dayton, VA 22821

www.sadierosefoundation.org ~ 540-810-0307~ [email protected]

Support groups, Internet community, One-on-one lay counseling, Remembrance events

6—Miscarriage Support

Meeting, 6:30 pm

10—Bereaved Parent

Support Meeting, 7 pm

13—Monthly Support

Coffee, 9:30 am

28—Bereaved Family

Support Meeting

See details and

locations for all

events inside this

newsletter

In Our Mailbox

* If you would like to

share your story of loss

and how the Sadie Rose

Foundation has impacted

your grief journey, please

contact our office.

* If you know of someone

who might benefit from

the support we offer,

please help us make the

connection.

* Subscribe to the SRF

website to receive an

email each time we

publish a blog. Visit our

website and subscribe in

the top right-hand

corner.

Lauren Jefferson and Kassandra

Lambert contributed to this

newsletter.

Wow! So many amazing things we’ve expe-

rienced together, so many things to look to-

ward. While nothing replaces the lives of the

children we are grieving, walking the journey

together can be what carries us through.

Because of YOU, our donors, volunteers,

and supporters, because of YOUR support and

efforts to continue the SRF mission, we are

able to expand ways to connect, to process, and

to be here for each other.

At our January board meeting, the board

made a motion to approve leasing a second

room in our current facility. One side will be

used for storage and the other for childcare.

This opens our office downstairs to offer all our

support meetings, workshops, Bible studies,

etc. in house. We are excited to offer this to our

SRF support community! Thanks for making

this possible. “...because the path of grief after

losing a child should never be walked alone.”

This month’s newsletter is sponsored by Joy Belle in loving memory of her

son, John Douglas, born, lived, and died 2/20/2011.

For information on sponsorships, contact our office.

Page 2: Pathways - Sadie Rose Foundationsadierosefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2.1...2012/02/02  · Compassion through The One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment

One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment. Call Regina at 540-810-4351 or

email regina@sadierosefoundation to schedule a time.

We also have several private Facebook groups, one for bereaved parents and one for those

who are pregnant after a loss. This is in addition to our public Facebook page. Feel free to

request to join these groups that apply.

Parents who are willing to talk if you are interested

Frank Bennett—540–3839082—lost infant. Frank also has a bereaved dad’s support forum

on Facebook called “Daddy’s Breath.”

Tanya Bennett—540-383-9077—also on Facebook. Lost infant

Daniel and Naomi Lambert—540-433-8894—lost two infants. Also have teenagers as sibling

support

Anita Thompson—540-209-3251—also on Facebook. Grandparent/parent support

Lee Harlow—540-480-4928 and Regina Harlow—540-810-4351—also on Facebook. Lost

infant

Suzy LaBonte—540-833-4185—[email protected]. Lost teenager. Hosts a support

group called “Lanterns of Hope” for those who have lost a loved one to suicide.

Angie Magenhofer—[email protected]—also on Facebook. Stillbirth and miscarriage

If you would like to be added to this list as a volunteer support contact, please contact us.

Page 2 Pathways

Additional support

Feb 6: Miscarriage Support Meeting,

6:30 p.m. at Sadie Rose office.

Feb 10: Bereaved Parent Support

Meeting, Adults only, 7 p.m. Sadie Rose

office. For parents who have lost a child of

any age.

Feb 13: Monthly Support Coffee, Sadie

Rose office, 9:30—11:30 a.m.. Come and go

as you please. ***Children are usually

present at this event.

Feb 28: Bereaved Family Support

Meeting, Sadie Rose office, 7 p.m. Sibling

support and childcare available. Families

welcome.

Weekly Online Support Chat, Sundays, 9

P.M. EST. To participate, visit our website

and click on the large “Support Group”

button on the right sidebar.

One-on-One appointments available by

contacting Regina at 540-810-4351 or

[email protected].

Miscarriage Support Meetings are typically

held the first Thursday of every month,

Informal Coffee the second Thursday,

Bereaved Parent Meetings the second

Monday and Bereaved Family Meetings the

fourth Friday. Some exceptions apply, so

check our website, calendar, and Facebook

page often.

For more information about any of our

events, please contact our office.

Calendar of Events We are so grateful to the

following for your donations in

Dec 2013 and January 2014.

Anonymous

Mr. and Mrs. Dale Whetzel

The 80’s Ladies in memory of the

sudden loss of Baby Prawdzik.

The Abbey Family in memory of

Lily Zingone

Steve and Ginny Mason in memory

of Mason Lambert and Kourtney

Lambert

Anonymous

We also received a check from June

Martin who hosted a Wildtree

Fundraiser for us. Thank you to ALL

who placed Wildtree orders to

support that fundraiser.

When donations are made “in memory

of,” we send a note of acknowledgement

to the family of the person being

remembered. We are a 501(c)3 non-profit

organization. Our tax ID number is

26-1662289. All donations are tax-

deductible.

February Focus

We are often asked what donated items

would help us. We will suggest a focus each

month of an item/items that help in our support

efforts.

Item for February: Tissues

The Compassionate Friends

National Conference

This conference is invaluable

to grandparents, parents, and

siblings grieving the death of

a child of any age. “Chicago,

Illinois, will be the site of the

37th TCF National Conference

on July 11-13, 2014. "Miles of

Compassion through The

Winds of Hope" is the theme

of this year's event.’” There

are workshops and events for

everyone. “Early registration

for the conference will be

$90.00 for Adults, $40.00 for

Children (9-17), and $40.00 for

Full-Time College Students.”

The Compassionate Friends is

a wonderful international or-

ganization “committed to help-

ing every bereaved parent,

sibling, or grandparent who

may walk through our doors

or contact us.” Visit their

w e b s i t e a t

www.compassionatefriends.or

g for more information or to

register for the conference.

Excerpts from the Compassionate

Friends website are in quotation marks.

Have you considered attending one of our support group meetings? We know that

taking that first step can be the hardest. Consider asking a friend or family member

to come with you. Another way to lesson the anxiety of showing up for the first time

is to connect with people online in our “Additional Support” section below or on our

online support chat. With the exception of our Miscarriage Support Group, our

groups are open to those who have lost a child of any age. All our meetings will be

held at 206 Main Street Dayton, VA 22821 starting in February. Parking along the

street out front and around back. Please let us know how we can best support you

on your grief journey.

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Page 3 Pathways

Name: Parents DOB DOD

Micah Rhodes Wes and Stephanie 02/04/2011 02/04/2011

Brody Rodriguez Ed and Sara 02/04/2008 07/07/2008

Serenity Weller Keith and Christina 02/06/2012 03/07/2012

Mason Keyser Michael and Carmina 02/06/2010 02/06/2010

Maia Harris Andrea 02/09/2007 02/09/2007

Troy McDaniel 02/10/2012

Sofia Mullen Josh and Megan 02/12/2013 02/12/2013

Camden Lafkin Camron and Elly 02/14/2012 05/17/2012

Maggie Ryman John and Serena 02/15/2007 11/21/2008

Nicole Nicholson Everette and Barbara 04/01/1991 02/16/2009

Colton Mowbray Derek and Malisa 02/18/2009 02/28/2009

Darren Schmucker Janice 02/19/2013 02/19/2013

Christine Hobbs Jeff and Phyllis 10/13/2007 02/19/2009

John Douglas Joy Belle 02/20/2011 02/20/2011

Karl Swanson Jr Karl Swanson and Stephanie Dudley 02/20/2010 08/24/2013

Cheyenne Mullen Jennifer Mullen 02/22/2001 12/07/2012

Victoria Marciewicz Katelyn (sister) 01/31/1994 02/25/2011

Levi Eberly Paul and Whitney 02/26/2013 02/26/2013

Richard Firebaugh Gary and Lynell 02/28/1992 03/20/2012

Please take time to remember these families and their children gone too soon. To submit your child’s information or to correct or complete

missing information, or to request your child be removed from our list, please fill out the appropriate form on our website under the

newsletter tab or contact our office.

February Remembrances

Weyers Cave Community Center

March 11, 2014

Doors open at 6:15 p.m. Games start at 7

There are multiple ways to be a part of this fundraiser. Bring friends and play bingo! Spread the word! A total of 10 games

will be played with one person winning more than $100 worth of Tupperware for each game! Pre-sale cards are 2 for $15 and at

the door 2 for $20. Additional cards can be purchased for $2 at the door. Raffle, silent auction, and food. Donations for door

prizes and or silent auction items are appreciated and you can also sponsor each $100 game. You can designate if you are

sponsoring in memory of someone. Businesses can set up a table to promote their products or services following the games.

There will be a Remembrance Table for photos for those who sponsor and game in memory of someone. Donation of hotdogs

and other food and drinks are also welcome. For more information about sponsorship or to donate food,

call Regina at 540-810-4351 or email [email protected]

Tupperware Bingo Fundraiser

Following is a brief description of the workshop I will

present at The Compassionate Friends National Conference.

Look for a date and location in the near future for our local

community to participate in this process-oriented workshop.

Our relationships with family, friends, and others can con-

tribute greatly to our healing process after experiencing grief.

These relationships are also profoundly changed by grief. As

part of our healing, we have to deal with how people react to

us and to our grief process. We have to maintain or let go of

the relationships with our family and friends in their new

form. Some people step toward us in our brokenness and oth-

ers choose to step away. What are healthy ways to respond to

these reactions? This workshop poses the following questions:

“When and how do we invite others into our brokenness to

help us heal? And what do we do if this invitation is rejected,

misunderstood, or leads us into an unhealthy place?”

Members of the audience will help me introduce six

personified stereotypes. I will introduce several realistic

scenarios of how people in a variety of relationships may react

to our grief. In small groups, attendees will have the oppor-

tunity to discuss possible reactions to each scenario and to

share with the audience.

In a short lecture, I’ll share my own ideas about broken-

ness, and an important metaphor which empowered me to

revision my grief and take control of my own reactions to

others. Together, we will consider how this example might

guide us in future responses when we are confronted with the

relationships represented in the personified stereotypes. With-

in our groups we will revisit our reactions with this helpful

image in mind.

This process-oriented workshop, filled with real-life scenari-

os and discussion of shared experiences, will help us explore

how relationships change and how to more positively

communicate your grief to those you love.

Helping others to honor our grief workshop description

Page 4: Pathways - Sadie Rose Foundationsadierosefoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/2.1...2012/02/02  · Compassion through The One-on-one support is available at our office by appointment

The Sadie Rose Foundation is a Shenandoah Valley-based non-profit organization that offers support

to families that have experienced the death of a child, including through pregnancy loss and

miscarriage. All our support and outreach is free of charge. Donations appreciated. For a complete

list of our services, visit our website and click on the “Support and Outreach” tab or contact our

office at 540-810-0307, [email protected], www.sadierosefoundation.org.

The Sadie Rose Foundation

P.O. Box 382

Dayton, VA 22821

February 2014

Q & A

We will feature this Question and

Answer section as we receive

correspondence. If you have questions

for us at the Sadie Rose Foundation, or if

you would like to hear from fellow

bereaved families about a particular

subject, we will do what we can to

provide answers. We’d love to hear from

you.

We also recognize that this particular

question is addressed to caring for

surviving children and that there are

those who have lost their only child or all

their children. We would love to hear

from those parents/individuals as well.

How can we best support you?

Following is the correspondence that

prompted this section.

The email in-box held concerns one

morning from a mother who was often

overwhelmed with feelings of panic and

fear about losing another child. I

(Regina) replied to her immediately and

my response was unique to her situation,

but I also think some of what I wrote

and that we shared together may be

helpful for other bereaved parents. The

SRF is developing a workshop called

“Soul Care,” (see far right) which elabo-

rates on some of these simple strategies

for moving through those feelings we all

experience (we can’t overcome this, or

push them aside, and indeed, we should-

n’t).

We’d love to print your answers to this

question as well.

Q: The older my child gets, she writes,

the more I worry about how long she'll be

here. I'm emotionally drained from the

constant worry, and no matter how

strongly I keep my faith, I can't shake the

overwhelming feelings of "what if?" How

did you make it through the day-to-day

of life without worrying to death?

A: There are times when the peace is

present and other times when I have to

fight for it, but mostly it is an awareness

that this moment is all I have. As I men-

tioned on page 3 of the January newslet-

ter, death is my companion that guides

me.

It is hard to live between "helicopter

mom" hovering over our children and

not allowing them freedom to be chil-

dren, and soaking up and savoring each

breath and each moment with them.

One of the things I have done is adopt

several "mantras" for different ways

that I feel. Also, I do a lot of "breath

prayers." Basically, I breathe in and ei-

ther mentally or even out loud repeat

"Be still," hold the breath for a brief mo-

ment and then exhale and say "And

know that I am God." Repeating that

Scripture in that way has been very

helpful for me, but you can do it using

other images that are important to you,

as well.

Something else I do is try to bless

each work that I do throughout the

day. For example, while I am washing

dishes, I bless the dishes. I bless the

water as it runs from the faucet. I bless

the food that we enjoyed that made the

dirty dishes. While I clean up after the

children, I bless them and I bless the

mess, because I recognize the blessings

that created the messes. By doing this, I

practice an attitude of gratitude and it

often takes my focus off of the anxiety

and helps me feel thankful instead.

But honestly, I don't know that this

panic will ever completely go away. Our

innocence has been robbed and we live in

the awareness that life can change in an

instant. While there are times it causes

us to fear or be anxious, our challenge is

to make it powerful for us. I know you

already do this, but my encouragement

is to live in the moment, live in the

blessing that for this moment, this

sweet, sweet moment in time, you have

this precious beautiful gift.

Following is a brief description of

the Soul Care workshop.

This interactive workshop invites

participants to engage in various forms

of soul care practices and to explore the

ways in which an inward focus offers a

holistic approach to grieving.

All of these techniques can be prac-

ticed within the privacy of the home or

in a work or social environment without

those around us being aware. These

small practical actions can help us pay

attention to our souls and empower us to

rise above moments of panic or anxiety.

As bereaved, we do what we can to

get through the moment. Sometimes we

immerse ourselves in work or busy-ness

and other times, we might look for big

ways in which to honor the lives of those

for whom we are grieving.

We will discuss soul care as a way to

pay attention to the small steps we can

take to care for ourselves and honor the

lives of those for whom we are grieving.

Being still and looking inward can be

frightening, but it can also be a source of

great strength for those in grief.

We’ll discuss the power of honoring

and blessing the natural elements, and

the practice of gratitude and remem-

brance.

We will also discuss the power of ritu-

al, and of creating your own daily rituals

that honor and celebrate your experienc-

es. Attendees will also be invited to

share their own ways of looking inward.