Loss and Grief in Caregiving

Caregiver Newsletter O C T O B E R 2 0 1 6 E D I T I O N

ADRC - Green County

N3152 State Rd. 81

Monroe, WI 53566

Web

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E-m

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Phone:

608-328-9499

Fax:

608-328-9631

November is National Caregiver’s month – a month to celebrate and honor all of you who are

caring for your spouse, parent or friend. Over 25% of households in the United States are

involved in caring for an older adult. Isn’t it wonderful that so many people are dedicated to

helping those they love? Being able to take care of your loved one in their older years is a joy

and an honor.

But caregivers also know that their job is not always joyful, or easy! In fact, there is a lot of loss

associated with caregiving. Some of the more obvious things that caregivers lose are jobs/

careers, social interactions, free time and often their own well-being. Other losses are less clear,

like when you are feeling sadness and grief but can’t quite explain exactly what it’s all about. For

example, you may feel like you have already lost your loved one even though they are still alive.

This ambiguous loss is particularly difficult to overcome because it is often brushed aside as not

being real. When losses are not identified and feelings of grief are not validated, depression will

often follow.

I’m sure all caregivers will agree that they have experienced various losses as a result of their

caregiving role. Most of these losses are unavoidable and must be faced. Grief is the emotional

process of working through these losses. Grief can be experienced in many different ways.

Some common responses to grief are anger and frustration, shock and denial, disorganization,

helplessness and fear, guilt and regret, sadness, and fatigue. The most important thing is that the

caregiver recognizes their losses and how they are responding, and then allows themselves to

grieve.

How does a person grieve? Let yourself express all of the emotions you are feeling. Find a good

friend, therapist or support group where you feel safe to share your feelings. Find a private time

and space to gather memories and savor that which was lost. Write in a journal. Take care of your

health. Stay in touch with friends. Say “goodbye” to life as you knew it and say “hello” to your

life as it is now.

The phrases “work through your grief” and “learn to let go” are common, giving the impression

that the sadness and pain of your loss will end one day. But some grief and sadness will never

completely go away. Living under the impression that you can somehow make your pain and

grief disappear may be setting yourself up to fail. Dealing with loss is not forgetting that which

you have lost, but learning how to integrate those losses into your life and move forward. It has

been said, “You never get over a loss; you just get different.”

One last suggestion to all of you hardworking caregivers: Give yourself a pat on the back for

all that you do. Treat yourself to lunch with friends, a few hours doing your favorite hobby, a

manicure or massage. You have definitely earned it. And remember, you are admired by many for

your dedication and selflessness. Keep up the good work!

Jane Mahoney

Older Americans Act Consultant

Greater Wisconsin Agency on Aging Resources

P A G E 2

Humans are social

creatures. Each of us has

our own unique level of

need for socialization.

Some people seem to

snap up every opportunity

to be out and about in

their community. Others

appreciate great amounts

of solitude. Most of us

fall somewhere in be-

tween. No matter where

we fall on this scale, we

all require some meaning-

ful contact with fellow

human beings.

The need for socialization

is so basic to humans that

it is a popular subject of

study. Research has

demonstrated that the lack

of adequate socialization

contributes to anxiety,

panic attacks, depression,

addictions, physical

disease and more rapid

mental deterioration in the

aging brain. Thus we can

surmise that maintaining

a certain level of sociali-

zation is beneficial to the

prevention or treatment

of these conditions.

As one gets older, the

social circle they have

developed over a lifetime

will change. Grown chil-

dren or friends may move

away. Parents, siblings,

spouses and friends may

pass away. Most people,

at some point in their lives,

will experience temporary

or permanent physical or

cognitive changes that

affect their ability to fully

connect with others. These

may make getting to or

around at social functions

difficult. Changes in

communication abilities

may make meaningful

conversation and connec-

tion more challenging. A

person must find ways to

adapt to these changes and

find new opportunities for

socialization.

One great opportunity is to

join a social group that

offers specialized support

for physical and cognitive

challenges along with the

social activities-- such as

an adult day center

program. A 2007 study

of adult day programs

published in ‘Psychology

and Aging’ found that a

low frequency of meaning-

ful socialization with

friends and family was an

important predictor of

future institutionalization.

They concluded that an

adult day center’s focus

on meaningful social

activities may delay the

decline that leads to

nursing home placement.

Hand in Hand Adult Day

Center offers opportuni-

ties to engage with others

in a supported, meaning-

ful, healthy and fun-filled

way. Activities include

Fitness Routines,

Creative Minds Classes

and Discussion Groups

that focus on

Participants’ strengths.

Hand in Hand meets

every Tuesday and Friday

and transportation is

available to serve all

areas of Green County.

For more information or

to schedule a tour,

contact Stephanie Hafez

at 328-9499.

Fun at Fun at

Hand In Hand In

Hand Hand

Adult Day Adult Day

Center Center

thisthis

summer!summer!

P A G E 3

Understanding and Coping with the

Challenges of Alzheimer’s Disease and

Dementia

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

United Methodist Church, 2227 4th Street, Monroe

9:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m.

The Alzheimer’s & Dementia Alliance, the Aging & Disability Resource Center and Monroe Clinic are excited to partner to offer family members, direct care workers and professionals an excellent opportunity to learn the latest information and resources that can help you face this growing health epidemic. Learn more about Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias and person centered care through informative and interactive presentations.

The day will begin with an Overview of Alzheimer’s Disease & Other Dementias presented by Dr. Joshua Morrison, Neurologist, Monroe Clinic Memory Diagnostic Center. Next the focus will shift to understanding the Montessori Method for Positive Dementia Care which will be presented by Tom & Karen Brenner, authors of You Say Goodbye and We Say Hello: The Montessori Method for Positive Dementia Care. After lunch and local updates, participants will be revitalized during a presentation called Re-energizing the Energizers presented by Gina Green-Harris, MBA Director, Milwaukee Outreach Program and Services, Wisconsin Alzheimer’s Institute (WAI), UW School of Medicine and Public Health.

On site respite will be available at no cost through the Hand in Hand Adult Day Center. Please contact Stephanie Hafez at 608-328-9499 to make respite arrangements by October 26.

Fee is $30 for professionals and direct caregivers. amily caregivers may attend at no cost. Lunch is included. Registration deadline is Wednesday, November 2. For more information and to receive a detailed brochure, please contact Deanna Truedson, Alzheimer’s & Dementia Alliance at 608-843-3402 or deanna.truedson@alzwisc.org or Linda Boll, Aging and Disability Resource Center at 608-328-9499 or resourcecenter@gchsd.org

Care Trak specializes in tracking individuals at risk for wandering, such as adults suffering

from Alzheimer's disease or other dementia, kids with special needs including autism, Down Syndrome, brain injuries or other conditions. If your family member doesn't have one of these diagnoses, but does have a history of wandering, they may still qualify for the program. The locator is a simple bracelet worn by your family member, and emits a radio transmission which is tracked by equipment utilized by trained deputies with the Green County Sheriff's Office.

Care Trak is available to all qualified residents of Green County for only a minimal cost. For

more information, please call 608-328-9401 to speak with Pam Tourdot or Bernie Roidt.

The Caregiver Support Group will continue to meet on the second Thursday of each month at 6:00pm-7:30pm at the Monroe Public Library, 1st floor conference room.

If help is needed to care for a loved one during the group time, please contact the

Aging & Disability Resource Center at 608.328.9499 for information about respite options and funding.

Please contact Deanna Truedson at 843-3402 for questions or more information. The group is co-sponsored by the Aging & Disability Resource Center, the Alzheimer’s & Dementia Alliance and

Monroe Clinic.

“Take Care to Give Care” The theme for National Family Caregivers Month November 2016

The first rule of taking care of others: take care of yourself first. Caregiving can be a rewarding experience, but it is

also physically and emotionally demanding. The stress of dealing with caregiving responsibilities leads to a higher risk

of health issues among the Nation’s 90 million family caregivers. So as a family caregiver, remember to pay attention

to your own physical and mental wellness, and get proper rest and nutrition. Only by taking care of yourself can you be

strong enough to take care of your loved one. You really do need to “take care to give care!”

Caregiving can be a stressful job. Most family caregivers say they feel stressed providing care for a loved one.

With all of their caregiving responsibilities – from managing medications to arranging doctor appointments to planning

meals – caregivers too often put themselves last.

The stress of caregiving impacts your own health. One out of five caregivers admit they have sacrificed their

own physical health while caring for a loved one. Due to stress, family caregivers have a disproportionate number of

health and emotional problems. They are twice as likely to suffer depression and are at increased risk for many other

chronic conditions.

Proper nutrition helps promote good health. Ensuring that you are getting proper nutrition is key to help

maintain your strength, energy and stamina, as well as strengthening your immune system. Maintaining a healthy

diet is one of the most powerful things you can do to take care of yourself and keep a positive attitude overall.

Ensuring good nutrition for your loved one helps make care easier. As many as half of all older adults are

at risk for malnutrition. Good nutrition can help maintain muscle health, support recovery, and reduce risk for

re-hospitalization – which may help make your care of a loved one easier.

Remember: “Rest. Recharge. Respite.” People think of respite as a luxury, but considering caregivers’ higher

risk for health issues from chronic stress, those risks can be a lot costlier than some time away to recharge. The chance

to take a breather, the opportunity to re-energize, is vital in order for you to be as good a caregiver tomorrow as you

were today.

During National Family Caregivers Month, we remind family caregivers that to be strong

enough to care for your loved one, you must

Take Care to Give Care!

Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings

Ingredients

4 boneless skinless chicken

breast

1 can chicken broth

2 cans cream of chicken

sliced carrots

sliced celery

1/2 can peas

1/2 onion

crumbled bacon

parsley

garlic powder

salt and pepper

1 can flaky biscuits

Method

● Place chicken breasts in bottom

of crockpot

● Pour chicken broth and both

cream of chickens over it

● Add in carrots, celery and on-

ion. How much ever you prefer

● Add in garlic powder, salt and

pepper and parsley flakes over it,

how much ever you prefer

● Cook on high for 3 hours

● Remove chicken and shred.

● Add the chicken back in with

some crumbled bacon and the

peas, stir together.

● Break up the flaky biscuits,

uncooked, and put in the

crockpot. Break each roll in

about 3 parts and just place

them on top.

● Remain cooking for another

hour or so on high or until

done. Enjoy!