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NLP

Quick Start

Steps !

By

Paul Mascetta Copyright Influence Mastery Inc.

!!!!!

Introduction 5 Anchors 8 Rapport 10 Reframing 12 Submodalities 14 Submodalities and Phobias 16 Eye Accessing Cues 16 Detecting Deception 18 Perceptual Positions 20 Representational Systems 23 Metaphors 26 Inner Conflict 28 The Meta Model 32

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Dear reader,

Welcome to NLP Quick Start Steps.

NLP is a powerful body of knowledge that can improve your life

in many ways.

I’m especially interested in showing you how you can use it to

improve your communication skills.

By reading people, creating rapport and adjusting the way you

(and others) see things the possibilities for positive influence are

endless.

Only Caveat: NLP can be overwhelming and difficult to grasp.

My goal in everything I teach is to make it as “digestible” as

possible for you.

That’s the purpose of this book. It’s to give you some basic

knowledge on NLP and how you can start using the techniques

right away without getting lost in the jargon.

That being said, should you decide that you want to take your

knowledge to the mastery level, then you should check out my

complete training - Paramount NLP.

Click Here To Learn More


http://paramountnlp.com/full-set-followup

Introduction !An acronym for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, NLP is an

approach in which one’s pattern of mental and emotional behavior

is changed by self-awareness and effective communication. NLP

was founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, who felt that it

would be a useful technique in allowing people to have more

fulfilled and better lives.

The name comes from the idea that both neurological processes,

or “neuro” processes, and language, or “linguistic” and behavioral

patterns that have been learned through experience (referred to as

“programming”) could be organized to achieve specific goals.

Originally, it was developed for therapeutic purposes, but now

many people and businesses are using it to their advantage.

It’s not hard to understand why. If you can understand how a

person uses their mind you can then leverage that knowledge to

influence them. You can also use it to help improve their life as

well as yours.

NLP is a now considered a complete science. It began as a study

of the human mind. The main purpose was to help people to use

their mind in a way that would serve them positively.


Let me explain the basis of how this works. There are some set

experiences in people’s mind such as sounds and colors. Original

research focused how changing one or all the components or

experiences of people would impact their emotional mindset. So,

they attempted to develop a strategy that would allow someone to

get rid of intense emotional behavior which could have been

caused by unpleasant experiences in life.

NLP is also helpful for increasing self-confidence, developing

public speaking skills, improving communication skills and a wide

array of other things.

The term ‘Neuro’ is associated with the individual neurological

system that is filtering millions of bytes of data using the nervous

system receptors, or the senses. These systems filter the data that

we receive to form what we call internal representations. They

include images, sounds, feelings, tastes and smells which all

constitute our conscious experience of the world. In the filtering

process, delations occur as these internal sensory representations

form an internal sensory “map” of the world as it is perceived by

that person, which differs from the world as it actually is. Beliefs

and values act as further psychological filters of the internal

representations to form a further perceptual map.


‘Linguistic’ refers to the process by which the filtered internal

representations are re-represented and given conscious meaning

through the use of language.

‘Programming’ describes the automatic patterns of personal

behavior that are triggered by internal representations and

language. NLP practitioners use the analogy of the brain as a

computer that is programmed, and can be re-programmed, to run

selected behavioral patterns.

Basic NLP concepts can be divided into:

• Anchors

• Rapport building

• Reframing

• NLP Submodalities

• Eye accessing cues

• Perceptual Positions

• Representational Systems

• Metaphors

• Meta Model


!Anchors !

Anchoring is one of NLP's central concepts. An anchor is the

situation in which two separate events get tied together in a

person's mind so that when one of the events occurs the second

event is remembered or recalled automatically by

their subconscious mind.

This happens all the time when we listen to music or eat certain

foods. You hear a song or taste a food that instantly causes you

remember a certain time in your past when you listened to the

song or ate the food.

How does an anchor develop?

Anchors develop when events take place simultaneously on a

regular basis for a certain number of times. For example, you eat

every time you watch television you may find yourself getting

hungry whenever you watch television.

Overly sensitive people (like myself) are more likely to develop

an anchor faster than anyone else. If two people experienced

something and one of them was overly sensitive then the overly


sensitive person may develop an anchor faster than the other

person.

For example, let’s say two people work as laborers in a

construction outfit. The overwhelming work experience may be

anchored to the work place in the overly sensitive person's mind

more. Therefore, he may find himself unable to continue work and

he may even quit whereas the other person who is not that

sensitive to external conditions may find work tolerable.

Anchors are not a bad thing but they can be used to your side to

enforce positive behavior or to help you in quitting bad habits. For

example you can create an anchor that generates bad feelings

whenever you smoke; by doing so you can help yourself to quit

smoking just by using an anchor.

How to remove an anchor?

You may some bad anchors that you want to get rid of. For

example you may feel bad after you workout but you know working

out is good for you so you need to remove this feeling.

All you need to do is repeat one of the events alone without the

other one. As time passes your subconscious mind will separate

both events and the anchor will be removed.


Rapport !Have you ever been to a foreign country where everyone is

speaking a different language and then you suddenly find someone

speaking your native language?

Imagine how you would feel hearing that voice. You will feel a

sense of familiarity and comfort around that person.

The reason you experienced such feelings is that rapport has

been established between you and that person.

Rapport building is and NLP technique that can make other

people have the same feelings towards you much like the feelings

you had towards that person you met abroad.

Establishing rapport is based on making the other person feel

that there is something common between you and them. This

causes that person to feel comfortable engaging with you.

Establishing Rapport Quickly

Rapport is a very powerful thing but in many cases it takes time

to really build it the right way.


Think about the level of rapport you have with people that you

met recently versus people that you have known for years. Much

different right?

The challenge is that in many cases (like job interviews, first

dates, negotiations, etc.) we have limited to build rapport.

So how can you establish rapport in a quick meeting that takes

less than 15 minutes?

In this case you’re not going to establish rapport on

the conscious level but rather it’s going to happen subconsciously.

Al you need to do is convince the subconscious mind of the

other person that there is something common between you. This

can be done through body language and tone of voice you use .

Anytime you subtly mimic the body language of the other person

they will unconsciously start to experience familiarity and comfort

around you.

In addition to gestures and body language you need to mimic his

tone of voice and tempo.

Now comes the test. After you mimic few of this person’s

gestures, try to take a different position yourself and see if they

mimic you. If they do, rapport has been created.


Reframing !Reframing is the process of changing the perception of a

situation in such a way that you see it positively rather than seeing

it negatively.

It’s called reframing because just as the frame of a picture helps

you see the picture, the frame you put around a situation allows

you to see the situation in a different way. The following are

examples of reframing which will make the concept more clear.

NLP Reframing Examples

You had some work to do on your computer and at the same

time you wanted to read a part of a book you bought recently. Then

in the middle of your work, an electrical outage takes place. Rather

than becoming stressed you can just view this situation as a good

opportunity to read the book until the power is back.

You win $75 on a lotto scratch off ticket. You come outside from

the store you bought it in and find a parking ticket for $75. Rather

than feeling like your win money was taken you look at it as your

parking ticket was magically “taken care of”.

You could view having a heavy workload as an opportunity to

improve your time management skills.


A rainy day could be viewed as a good chance to spend some

more time with your family.

As you can see it’s not the situation that makes you feel bad or

irritated but it’s the frame that you put around it.

Using reframing doesn’t mean you have to be idealistic or a

perfectionist. Instead allows you to flip the script on unfavorable

events so that you can take advantage of them.

Positive Thinking and Reframing

Positive thinking is all about learning how to see the the glass

half full rather than half empty.

Now this has to be done correctly. All too many times I see

people distort reality by abandoning logic just to think positively.

Reframing is not about distorting reality. It’s there to help you find

the opportunities that you can take advantage of instead of

focusing on the difficulties.

In other words, there is a big difference between positive

thinkers who twist reality and positive thinkers who assess their

options rationally in order to determine the best ones.

In many cases people become irrational with their negative

thoughts and start assuming scenarios that will never happen. The


role of positive thinking in this case is to let those people see

reality correctly instead of seeing a distorted version for it in their

minds.

!!!!!!Submodalities !If you asked a group of people to imagine a picture of a dog in their

minds, what kind of image are they going to see? Will it be colored or

black and white? Will the mental image be close or far? Will the dog

be still or will it be moving? Will the dog be looking friendly or will it

be wild?

!If you did that you will find that no two people will give the

same answer. Each one of us stores the attributes of an object

differently depending on what the object represents for us. For

example, if someone fears dogs then they will rarely imagine a


calm sleeping dog but instead they might imagine a dog that is

ready to attack.

Changing A Mental Image In The Mind

If someone is unhappy with the way they look, chances are the

image they have in their mind of themselves will look ugly even if

they are really attractive.

By changing these attributes you can actually change your

beliefs about an object. Here is how you can do it:

Try to remember the last time someone insulted you or said

something that hurt you.

Now imagine the situation in your mind while noticing the

attributes associated with your situation. Note the colors of the

mental images, the distance, the size, and the sounds.

Now change the sound of the person speaking to be like Mickey

Mouse or Donald Duck and replay the video of the situation in your

mind.

In addition to the previous change make the size of that person

very small and repeat the video.


Finally you can add some kind of background music like circus

music bells and then play the video.

Notice the difference? You will notice that the bad feelings that

were associated with the situation were almost neutralized because

of the attributes you have changed. This is how sub modalities

work.

Submodalities and Phobias !Submodalities can also be used to cure phobias. According to the

principles of NLP, the main reason you fear certain objects or

creatures is the way those things are represented in your mind.

Therefore if you change the way those objects are stored in your

mind, your emotional response towards them will change as well.

For example you fear cats then it would help a lot to think of

Garfield whenever a cat comes to your mind.

!Eye Accessing Cues !

Have you ever paid attention to eye movements?

Have you ever noticed that people's eyes move in different

directions when being asked a question?


Research has shown that there is a connection between the

thought process of a person and the direction of their eyes. The six

possible directions that the eye can go to are upper right ,upper

left, and middle right , middle left , lower right and lower left .

Each direction represents a different function that takes place

inside the mind.

The following is an explanation of the different eye movements

and their respective meanings (Note that the following directions

are describing the eye positions of someone who is facing you):

Upper left ,visual construction (VC) : The person looking in

this direction is constructing the image of a visual scene. The

person's eye could go to this direction when they are asked about

the color of their dream car.

Upper right , visual remembering (VR) : The person looking

in this direction is remembering the image of a visual scene. That's

the direction someone could look at when they are asked about the

color of their car.

Middle left, auditory construction (AC) : The person looking

in this direction is constructing a sound. That's the direction the

person's eye could go to when asked a question like "What do you

think Joe will tell you when you meet him tomorrow?"


Middle Right , auditory remembering (AR) : The person

looking in this direction is remembering a sound. That's the

direction the person's eye could go to when asked a question like

"What was your manager's voice like yesterday?"

Lower left Kinesthetic (K) : This is the direction someone's eye

goes to when he is accessing his feelings. That's the direction a

person's eyes could go to when asked something like "How did it

feel to fail that exam?"

Lower right ,auditory digital (AD) : This is the direction

someone's eye goes to when he talks to himself.

!Detecting Deception !!

The following concepts can be very useful in knowing whether

someone is telling the truth or whether they are lying to you.

Asking someone about the color of their car should cause their

eyes to move to the upper right (visual remembering ). If the eye

went to the direction of visual construction instead then they may

be constructing images instead of remembering them. the truth

may be that they don’t even have a car.


The same applies when you ask someone about a conversation

that happened the day before. If they looked to the AR direction

then this shows that they are remembering the conversation. If

they looked at the AC direction then this may mean that they are

lying.

CAUTION: Note that using this method for detecting whether

someone is lying or not is very risky. There are some things you

should be aware of before you use such a method for detecting

deception. Below is a list of guidelines you should stick to if you are

going to use this method for "liar detection" so that you don't find

that everyone around you is a liar:

Some people have these six directions reversed. If you are not

sure of the directions they use then you can ask a test question.

The question is one that you already know the answer to. You’re

simply asking to record eye directions. By doing so you will know

the direction this person uses for remembering and the other

direction they use for construction. You could then ask real

question you want to know about and notice if the eyes move in a

different direction than the one they went to when you asked the

first question.

If the person was trying to remember something that recently

happened then their eyes may not go to any direction and could


just stay in the middle. This happens because the event is still in

their short term memory.

Some people tend to remember by focusing and refocusing

without moving their eyes in any direction. In this case you can’t

really assess anything correctly. Fortunately those people are rare.

The mind is a superior device with thousands of thoughts going

in and out at the same time. Many thoughts could flood the mind

in one second causing the eyes to move into any direction and thus

give you false clues. Beware of this fact while questioning someone.

!Perceptual Positions

Since every person has their own perception of the same events

sometimes it’s useful to take a look at those events from a

perspective that is different than yours.

NLP defines those perspectives as Perceptual Positions and

divided them into the following three categories:

First Position: This is the normal perspective that you regularly

use. It is seeing the situation from your own perspective .


Second Position: The second position is the perspective of the

other person involved with you in the same situation. In order to

get more insight about how they the situation you must step into

their shoes and think as if you were them. Forget about all of your

needs and think about their needs. Forget about yourself and think

as if you were them.

Third Position: The third position is the position of a third

person who is not involved in the same situation. For example if

you had a fight with someone else then the third person might be a

bystander who was watching you.

Using NLP Perceptual Positions

So what's the use of all of this? Since everyone acts on the basis

of their own needs and emotions, you need to be able to put

yourself in their shoes to truly understand powerful

communication.

Everyone is different. If you don't like money some other person

may like it. If you are confident the other person may be shy. If you

were a hard worker the other person may be a Type B personality.

Perceptual Positions and Anger


One of the best uses of the third position is to deal with anger.

Once angry, try to look at the situation from a different perspective

before doing anything drastic. Looking at the situation from the

perspective of the third position will give you a clear picture of the

situation without being affected by emotions. You will be less likely

to make an emotional decision.

To see things from another perspective just close your eyes and

imagine that you are looking at yourself from the other person's

eye and think as if you were them.

Perception differs from one person to another.

Ten different people could go through the same situation yet

perceive it differently. Because each person processes the event

differently, people come up with different interpretations to the

same situations.

The person who manages to see the situation from a different

perspective is usually the one who will be able to understand

others the most.

Over the years you might have developed the habit of seeing

situations from a certain angle. Today is the day where you should

start learning how to see situations from a completely different

angle.


!Representational Systems !

Each one of us has our own internal representation system that

we use when we think of something. Some of us use visual images

while thinking. Others may use sounds while a third group may

think based on their emotions.

In Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP, there are three

recognized representational systems which include visual auditory

and kinesthetic.

Visual people relate to the world generally by the way they see

things. When they speak, they will use terms like “I see, what

you’re saying” or “I can see why you would think that way”.

Visual people like to see the world in terms of pictures.

Therefore, creating a visual story or painting a picture for someone

with this representational system will be more effective than

anything else you might attempt.

Visual people also like to observe others and maybe fascinated

with photography or things that generally involve admiration or

envisioning.


These people also enjoy reading and watching movies very

much.

What’s interesting is that they usually remember names as a

result of a visual cue that they received. An example would be how

something about a person’s face that they just met would remind

them of the person’s name.

Visual people are also very concerned with their appearance,

and they work better when following directions that are clearly

written down. When trying to influence a visual thinker, your best

bet is to provide them with written documentation in the form of

directions, proof or a general explanation of what you’re speaking

about.

Next on the list are auditory people. Auditory people assimilate

information by tuning in or listening to clearly hear what it is that

they are being told. They also enjoy talking with others and

conversation is something that they find very interesting.

For auditory people their world is represented by sound,

therefore, to get their attention and engage them, you must say

something that sounds very appealing to them.

Just as visual people like to look at directions auditory people

would rather hear directions read out loud by someone else,


because retaining the information by looking at it can be difficult

for them, whereas hearing it is much easier for them.

Auditory people like to use phrases like, “that sounds good”,

“that is clear as a bell” and “listen to me”.

Simply put, auditory people understand spoken language more

than anything else. Therefore, when making a presentation to

them, focus more on the way that you’re saying things as opposed

to writing things down or trying to create a vision for them.

The third type of representational system is called kinesthetic.

People who fall into this category relate to the world, make

decisions and behave based upon the way something feels to them.

You could call them touchy-feely people. They relate to both touch

and motion.

Kinesthetic people assimilate information through their sense of

touch. And because of this, they are very skilled in certain areas.

As an example, they are typically known to acquire a physical skill

faster than the average person.

Common phrases that you may hear come out of the mouth of a

person who is kinesthetic say things like “callus” or “all washed

up”. They may also use phrases like, “I feel you” or “that feels

right”.


They also like to give analogies that relate to the way you would

feel if certain event took place. As an example, instead of saying “I

was really mad”, they would say something like “my blood was

boiling”.

The next time you begin a conversation with someone,start

paying attention to the way they communicate. You’ll begin to

notice that people generally fall into one of these three categories

and you will be better equipped to communicate with them.

!Now there will be times where people are using multiple

representational systems but generally there is one dominant

system that controls their outlook on life.

!Metaphors !

We all use metaphors while speaking either in the form of

phrases that we say or in the form of a stories that we tell.

When you use a metaphor you access certain values in your

brain based on your background, culture and belief system. This

information becomes loaded into your brain and so may impact the

decisions or choices made at that time.


The same happens when you use a metaphor when talking to

someone else. This person also accesses a certain part of their mind

based on the metaphor you used.

By selecting the metaphors you use you can let the person you

are talking to load certain information into their mind and so

essentially control their behavior and choices to a certain extent.

In one experiment 3 groups of people were exposed to a game

that contained lots of words. The first group was exposed to words

such as anger, rage etc. The people in the second group were

exposed to words such as kindness and politeness while the third

group was exposed to neutral words.

Moments later the people in the three groups were interrupted

by a person who worked with the researchers. The result was that

the first group became aggressive towards him, the second group

was less aggressive while the third was neutral.

This research shows how people can be affected by words.

Metaphors also bypass the conscious mind and reach

the subconscious mind of a person directly making it a suitable

method for giving suggestions to a person during hypnosis.


Metaphors can bypass the conscious mind and therefore can be

used to reprogram people to a certain extent.

When a friend of yours asks you for help with an emotional

problem you can use metaphors to help them out instead of giving

him the answers directly.

Because people respond better to metaphors your friend can

experience a good change in mood without realizing that

metaphors were the reason.

Use metaphors whenever you are trying to motivate a person or

make them feel better.

!Inner Conflict !

Inner conflict often occurs when a person has two similar

yet contrasting “towards” values and “away from” values. For

example, a person may be extremely fearful of being poor

because he had been poor since he was young. He has a strong

“away from poverty” value that he keeps at the very center of

his mindset.

On the other hand, he also has a positive/affirmative

“towards” value: “I want to be wealthy”. To many people, these


two values are the same because the perceived end is also the

same. But in reality, the subconscious mind is really getting

a very conflicting message.

Poverty is central to the person’s thinking and yet, he also

wants wealth. This is a very problematic situation because the

subconscious mind will transform the negative value into a

positive one (“I want to be poor”) and it will attempt to pursue

both values to the detriment of the person. It is obvious that in

such cases, the “away from” value must be removed to

improve the person’s chances of success.

!Many people find it difficult to switch the priorities of their

values especially when they are able to examine their values

up close (e.g. when the values are written down on paper).

Sometimes, people choose to reinforce the hierarchy of values

that they have created to their own detriment. If you want to

change your own priorities but you don’t know how, this simple

NLP exercise will help you do exactly that:

1. As we have discussed in a previous section, the mind

represents values as images, sounds, etc. These are the m o d

a l i ti e s h a v e c o r r e s p o n d i n g submodalities.


For example, if an experience is represented primarily by

an image, you can adjust the color, brightness and even texture of

the image in your mind. The adjustment is possible because

the sensorial representation of memories always yield to

modification via submodalities. We are going to take advantage

of the fact that any memory or value can be modified in this

manner. What I want you to do is to revisit the list of values

that you have created in the previous exercise and try to

identify that one value that you would like prioritize more than

the others.

Here is a sample list of values:

Wealth

Hanging Out

Rest & Relaxation

Spirituality

Socializing

Business

2. Let’s say you want to start prioritizing creating a business

of your own but all the other values are preventing you from

focusing on this particular value. What should you do?


If we were to use the list I provided in the previous step,

you would see that business is sixth out of a list of six items.

It has been placed as least priority.

The top three values are “wealth”, “hanging out” and “rest &

relaxation”.

Let’s say that you are willing to swap “rest & relaxation”

with “business”. To c h a n g i n g t h e h i e r a r c h y i n y o u r

subconscious mind, we need to tweak the submodality of one

value a bit. I want you to visualize what it means for you to

have “rest & relaxation”.

Hold that image clearly in your mind and make it as vivid

as possible. When the mental image of the “rest &

relaxation” is as vivid as possible, I want you to quickly retrieve

your memory of “business”. Quickly transfer all of the vividness

of the “rest & relaxation” to the “business” mental picture.

You can also use other submodalities to differentiate one

mental image from another. For example, you can make the first

mental picture small and the second mental picture bigger. One

mental image can also be hazy while the other is extremely

sharp and focused. Use


The Meta Model !The Meta model is one of the very useful tools that can be used

in communication because it counters the effect of Deletions,

Distortions and Generalizations that people usually make while

communicating.

The Meta model is sometimes referred to as a Meta language

because it involves changing the way you use the language in order

to communicate more effectively.

Deletions, Distortions and Generalizations

Without realizing it people usually filter their experiences by

deleting some parts, distorting others and generalizing these

experiences. Below are examples that will make all three types

clear:

Distortion: I am sure he hates me , I am sure that this was a fake

smile.

Deletion: No one ever liked me and when people tell me they

do, it’s always a complement.

Generalization: All men cheat.


These transformations that people make to the situations they

face make these situations appear as if they were bad and

intolerable.

People usually filter what they hear or see in order to prove their

existing prejudgments to true. For example, if a guy lacks self

confidence he will delete all the compliments he receives. He will

distort reality to prove that people hate him and he will over

generalize by saying that no one ever loved him.

The Meta model involves being more specific in order to prove

to others that their filters have changed their real experiences.

Let’s take the three examples mentioned above and see how can

you can ask questions using the Meta model in order to deal with

them:

I am sure he hates me , I am sure that this was a fake smile.

Meta: Why are you sure? What evidence do you have to prove it?

No one ever liked me and when people tell me they do, it’s

always a complement

Meta: Haven’t you ever met a person who liked you?

All men cheat

Meta: Don’t you even know one man who doesn’t?


As you can see the main purpose of Meta language is to prove to

those people that they were wrong and that they have distorted the

reality through these distortions, deletions and generalizations. By

the way, you can also use Meta language with yourself whenever

you find yourself making irrational judgments or distorting your

own reality.

Using The Meta Model

One of the main uses for the Meta model is changing your core

beliefs. Let’s suppose that you believe that you are inferior in some

way to others. In this case asking yourself questions using the Meta

model will let you realize that your beliefs are based on nothing.

Many of the psychological disorders people suffer from result

from the false beliefs those people acquired throughout their lives.

By challenging beliefs using the Meta model you can build self

confidence, become optimistic and live a better live.

Now that you understand how you can start using basic NLP

concepts and techniques, it’s time to take things to the next level.

Paramount NLP is my complete training on NLP and will give a

mastery level understanding of the concepts without

overwhelming you.


Click Here To Learn More

Talk soon,

Paul

!!!!

!!!


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