peacemaking / perspectives on dispute resolution

PersPectives on Dispute Resolutionmdash

Vol I No 3

DEC 2011

Also in this issue

ADR in the News 3

Upcoming Events 3

Message from the Editor 3Doug Noll

Scott Van Soye

Jasper Ozbirn

FeAtured contributors

The Healing Power of Reconciliation Moving Past Divorce 22

Cultural Impacts on Peacemaking Individualist vs Collectivist Concepts 8

More Than a Name Strategies For Moving Beyond Disputes About lsquoGodrsquo 12

DisCovEr 14

Diary of a Peacebuilding Mission Interview with Timothy Pownall

FoCus 4

Peacemaking Principles for Day-to-Day Work With Conflictsby Doug Noll

CommEntary 24

A Holiday Reflection on Religious Acceptance

Ban Ki-moonrsquos Mediation Kick The New Tool for Global Peacekeeping 28

Anne Sawyer

Kanoe Yim Wheeler

PACIS Recieves ACRrsquos 2011 Peacemaker Award 18

on thE EDgE 20

My Journey to Inner Peace

Dina Haddad

ADR Times explores mediation arbitration negotiation diplomacy and peace ADRTimescom publishes articles news and debates and provides an industry directory event calendar job board and community space for public and professionals to connect and share insights

Publisher Mark Fotohabadi amp W Timothy PownallDesign ProductionDana Asper Melaina Rauen

The content of this publication is subject to Copyright by ADR Times Inc 2011

Mikita WeaverEditor-in-Chief

Zachary UlrichContributing Editor

Upcoming Events

ADR in the News

- Oakland Labor Law amp Labor Arbitration Conference Oakland CA Jan 2 2012- Circuit Civil Mediation Cert Training Fort Lauderdale FL Jan 13-22 - 30 Hour Basic Mediation Training New York NY Jan 23-26- Los Angeles Labor Law amp Labor Arbitration Conference Los Angeles CA Jan 26- Mediating the Litigated Case Los Angeles CA Jan 26-Feb 11

view the Full cAlendArmdash submit An eventmdash

- 1214 A Bright Future for Arbitration- 1213 Reflections of a Former Middle East Peace Negotiation From Camp David to Business Lessons on Negotiation- 1212 Mediators Intervene in Democratic Republic of Congo Elections- 127 Syria Again Ignores Arab League Deadline to Allow Observers- 126 Afghanistan ndash Britainrsquos Invisible Conflict- 125 US Israel Palestinians Must Restart Direct Talks- 1129 Bahrain Declines US Mediator

view All Adr newsmdash subscribe to Adr dAily Alertsmdash

mEssagE From thE EDitorADR Times wishes you a happy Holiday Season~2011 has been an exciting year for ADR Times It has been truly amazing to see so many people engaging in our online dispute resolution community As 2011 comes to an end the December issue of ADR Times Perspec-tivesrsquo Newsletter focuses on Peacemaking For most of us we deal with conflict every day both at a personal and professional level We also live in a world that is filled with conflict and strife As we prepare for the new year Irsquod like to share a quote Leo Tolstoy said ldquoEveryone thinks of changing the world but no one things of changing himselfrdquo I hope that we all take this time to reflect rejuvenate and rejoice I hope that these diverse spread of articles will also in-spire you Whether it is dealing with conflict at the me-diation table conflicts about religion or conflict in the family I hope that you can find a way to utilize these conflict resolution techniques to make the world a more peaceful place

------------------------------------------------------------Congratulations to Aydin and Victoria our November 2011 Kindle Fire winners ------------------------------------------------------------

For more information please contact Ms Mikita Weaver Editor-in-Chief (800) 6161202 editoradrtimescom wwwADRTimescom z

FoCus

PEaCEmakingby Doug Noll

tEn PrinCiPlEs oF PEaCEmaking guiDE mE in my Day-to-Day work with ConFliCts

Peacemaking seeks long term sustainable solutions rather than polite agreements or uneasy and fragile truces to dif-ficult conflicts Sometimes settling a case is not enough Al-though the law transmutes all conflicts into the exchange of money that transmutation is sometimes unsatisfactory for people Thus recognizing when money is not the only issue is a central aspect of peacemaking The other challenge in peacemaking is its emotional difficulty Many times people

I use the term peacemaking to describe the values and processes involved in transforming difficult and intractable conflicts Peacemaking encompasses mediation however mediation especially mediation of litigated disputes does not necessarily include peacemaking Knowing the difference is useful because it can influence the processes and interventions used by mediators

December 2011 | 5

avoid the challenging work of confronting conflict by layer-ing over the problem with a superficial nice fix Peacemak-ing takes on the painful and sometimes frightening aspects of conflict directlyAt the international level we see a general failure of peace-making because the conflict mediators are either unwilling or unskilled at dealing with deep conflict In the Kenyan election crisis of 2008-2009 Kofi Anan mediated between Kibaki and Odinga over a disputed presidential election These two leaders had been in personal conflict with each other for decades As a result their respective tribes benefitted when they were in power and suffered when they were not Rather than take the time to look at the deep conflict dynam-ics that these leaders represented Anan stayed with a superficial political solution The power sharing arrangement that resulted was so bad that many predict Kenya will face genocide during the 2012 elections This is a direct re-sult of the mediator not seeking a sustainable solution Instead he looked for the fast expe-dient politically safe Band-Aid Interestingly he abandoned the mediation process in 6 weeks turning it over to a university professor who was equally unskilled in mediation The entire process was canceled in June 2009 leaving the underlying structural injustices unresolved In peacemaking truth-telling and truth-seeking are honored integrity is valued and trust is given because it is earned People learn in the peacemaking process to speak from their hearts and minds what they have personally experienced They are honored for revealing difficult truths when they could brush over them The peacemaker instills this value in the process and insists on a commitment to truth telling from everyone participating in the process This is sometimes antithetical to the typical lawsuit media-tion where truth goes out the window as everyone tries to game the mediator Sometimes the gaming works some-times it hurts the parties because their needs for validation vindication and to be heard are ignored by the lawyers One of the unintended consequences of the mediation of litigated disputes is that the process becomes all about the money and other valuable aspects of the process are abandoned My col-league Ken Jaray is talking with high level insurance compa-ny executives to see if they would agree to a more humane peaceable mediation process In that process which I have called restorative mediation the people affected by the ac-cident would talk to each other Only after they have spoken with each other would the process turn to a negotiation over a monetary settlement As we have seen in victim-offender

mediations we would expect a dialogue between an insured and a victim to provide a deeper more honest conversation that would help everyone understand the nature of the prob-lem We would normally not expect agreement especially when liability is contested We would expect benefits from sharing stories about what happened and what the effects of the accident have been on everyone involved Humanizing the people has a value unto itselfPeacemaking offers an opportunity to explore and discover that which is as yet unimagined In many conflicts the con-

flict issues are forbidden subjects to talk about because the anxiety of dealing with them is too uncomfortable Peace-making allows that anxiety to be contained and managed As a result people sense relief at being able to talk about issues that have irked them sometimes for years Further-more peacemaking allows new visions and ideas about re-lationships to be explored and perhaps created The process permits discovery of ideas and solutions that before seemed unimaginable I am always amazed by lawyers who do not let their clients tell their stories in mediation conferences The lawyers are so focused on collecting money for their clients that they lose sight of the fact that they are servants not mastersMediation is often the only time a party is allowed to speak without interruption The procedural justice research tells us that people experience justice when they have been heard by a trusted authority figure The outcome is not nearly as im-portant as the process Many lawyers have a different view of this believing that outcome is everything And it is im-portant However if peacemaking is one of the goals allow-ing parties to have their voice is critical Peacemaking techniques are creative exploratory and filled with the risk fear and excitement of discovery Jeff Krivis likes to tell a story where he intentionally stepped into a waste basket and tripped The humor of the moment light-ened the room Jeff also talks about mediation as improvi-sation Being a jazz violinist I know exactly what Jeff is

ldquo In peacemaking truth-telling and truth-seeking are honored integrity is valued and trust is given because it is earned People learn in the peacemaking process to speak from their hearts and minds what they have personally experienced They are honored for revealing difficult truths when they could brush over them

rdquo

6 | ADR Times Perspectives

talking about When you improvise whether in comedy or music you never know what is going to happen The excite-ment of improvisation is the anxiety of unknowing and the discovery of the new

Like improvisation peacemaking is a fearful undertaking because no one not even the peacemaker knows where peo-ple will end up Once the process is underway however the fear generated from the anxiety is transformed into the fear of discovery which creates a certain excitement in people Itrsquos just like playing jazz violin I think Jeff would say the same about comedy improvPeacemaking is a refuge--a safe haven from the incivility and outright nastiness of conflict Conflict can be nasty and brutal Very few people enjoy the emotions invoked by con-flict situations Peacemaking processes create an environ-ment of safety and security where the conflict issues can be dealt with carefully and respectfully In mediations around litigated disputes I am struck by the level of incivility be-tween counsel and between counsel and opposing parties I do my best to de-escalate the incivility At least for one day people ought to be in a process where they are emotionally

safe from personal attack Overcoming the cynicism is chal-lenging but that does not mean that I give up on peopleThe peacemaker is charged with the sacred duty of creat-ing a refuge where people from different backgrounds know

they will be heard and un-derstood where their needs and ideas will be respected and where they can safely do the difficult work of recon-ciling their differences This is a primary value differ-ence between peacemaking and other forms of conflict resolution The peacemaker takes on the obligation of protecting everyone seeing that all are given equally high respect and dignity that

all may fully express themselves or not as they wish all in a place where there will be no personal attacks insults or other emotional or physical violence of any sortThe peacemaker must create a place where people are able to approach rather than freeze flee or fight Peacemakers knowledgeable in the neuropsychology of fear always rec-ognize the importance of the environment on preconscious brain processes Peacemakers are therefore charged with the duty of controlling environments that allow people to ap-proach one another rather than to defend against one an-otherPeacemaking seeks to disenfranchise or confront in a pro-cess of controlled escalation those who seek unfair advan-tage who exploit racial or class or gender differences and who prefer to maintain disparities that favor themselves Justice is a core value of peacemaking Resolution without

ldquo Peacemaking requires tremendous courage by those faced with difficult conflict Conflict causes people to fear others as well as themselves What people detest in others is what is inside of them Thus to confront others is to confront the same thing within People know this intuitively but cannot articulate it rdquo

Doug Noll

Douglas E Noll is a lawyer turned peacemaker professional mediator and author of Elusive Peace How Modern Diplomatic Strategies Could Better Resolve World Conflicts (Prometheus Books 2011)He can be reached at dougnollassociatescom WEBSITE wwwelusivepeacecomRead more articles by Doug Noll at wwwadrtimescomarticlesauthordougnoll

justice does not resolve conflict it is simply a demonstration of which party holds greater power A peacemakerrsquos values and integrity may require that the process be shut down Some conflicts are such that they must be escalated before peacemaking will be possible The peacemaker recognizes this and therefore does not sacrifice justice for expediencyOn the other hand a peacemaker is not a judge Maintaining non-judgment and non-reactivity is important So one of the great challenges of peacemaking is balancing non-judgment against the cry for justice non-reactivity against obvious un-fairness or wrong-doing This is why peacemaking is some of the most difficult work a human being can be called to do It is relatively easy to opine about who is right or wrong or to be a carrier of offers and counter offers into different rooms It is much more difficult to remain balanced in the face of heinous acts and to help people work out their differencesPeacemaking involves risks not the least of which is fail-ure No guarantees can ever be made that peace will be re-stored between parties Every conflict contains the seeds of further escalation that may take root despite the best efforts of everyone However the risk of failure is never a deterrent to the attempt at peace especially when peace seems hope-less The tension against this value is knowing that lawyers rate mediators on how effectively the mediators settle cases Satisfying the true client the referring lawyer is important Thus professional mediators who primarily work with liti-gated disputes have a distinct self-interest in not failing A bad settlement is better than no settlement However when this tension becomes out of balance mediation can be a mis-erable experience for everyone

Peacemaking requires tremendous courage by those faced with difficult conflict Conflict causes people to fear others as well as themselves What people detest in others is what is inside of them Thus to confront others is to confront the same thing within People know this intuitively but cannot articulate it This fear is why so many people avoid peace-makingmdashthey do not have the courage to face themselves their secret inadequacies and their deepest fearsI am criticized by some segments of the bar for being a law-yer turned peacemaker Lawyers sniff at my work saying that peacemaking is for sissies or words to that effect They seek mediators who like them will knock heads and see mediation as a competition to be won or lost Being a sec-ond-degree black belt and former trial lawyer I can do that too However I choose when I can to take the more difficult road When done correctly peacemaking is not easy nor is it soft it is some of the most satisfying work a human being can ever experience Those moments when reconciliation occurs are transcendent and are what cause me to work even harder in the next conflict for the people who choose me as their peacemaker z


ldquoBlessed are the peacemakersrdquo We value peacemakers We may even as-pire to be among them But often we have no firm conception of what it means to ldquomake peacerdquo Does it mean to cause the cessation of conflict by whatever means Or does it refer only to non-violent efforts to mediate disputes or to bring non-military pressures to bear And what does it mean to succeed Is it enough that the conflict stops Or is it necessary to repair the damage done As it turns out what we think of as the ldquorightrdquo answers to these questions depends in part on our cultural assumptions regarding the basic role of the individual in society ndash the distinction between an indi-vidualistic society and a collectivist one These differing approaches have implications in both large and small disputes

Cultural imPaCts on PEaCEmakingIndividualist vs Collectivist Conceptsby Scott C Van Soye

An Individualist CulturemdashIndividualistic (usually Western) societies value per-sonal responsibility personal freedom and self-de-termination ldquoLooking out for number onerdquo is a core lesson in such cultures and defining a conflict or its solution is up to those involved In such cultures dis-pute resolution including negotiation or mediation is a face to face process driven by individual needs and desires It is often confidential so as to protect ldquoper-sonal privacyrdquo and litigation is simply another step in defending onersquos individual rights[1] The usual focus in individualistic societies is on ldquoresolving the problemrdquo ndash a narrow inquiry into how the immediate conflict can be ended with some immediate benefit to one or more of those involved Those from individualistic cultures typically use ag-gressive problem-solving tactics[2] In the international peacemaking context this can lead to the paradoxical result of waging war to make peace The concept of

ldquocoercive peacerdquo or ldquopeace enforcementrdquo refers to forc-ing belligerents to stop fighting by the application or threat of superior force[3] It is familiar because of the recent deployment of almost 6000 UN soldiers in new-ly sovereign South Sudan in July of 2011 and because of the recent actions of the United States and other na-tions in support of the Libyan opposition There are historical examples too -- in Kosovo or even 60 years past on the Korean Peninsula

The Collectivist CulturemdashThe counterpart to the individualistic culture is the col-lectivist one predominant in Asia Africa and Latin America The individual in this culture is considered secondary to the group which gives its members their identity Inter-group relationships are close Often group members share spiritual beliefs as well[4]

Collectivist peacemaking styles are markedly different from individualistic ones A typical example is Japan

December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye

Scott Van Soye is a full-time mediator and arbitrator working with the Agency for Dispute Resolution with offices in Irvine Beverly Hills and nationwide He is a member of the California Bar and practiced real estate civil rights and employment law for over twenty years He holds an LLM in Dispute Resolution from Pepperdine University where he is an adjunct professor of law He welcomes your inquiries and can be reached at scottvansoyeagencydrcom or (800) 616-1202 Ext 721 Website wwwscottvansoyeagencydrcomRead more articles by Scott Van Soye at wwwadrtimescomarticlesauthorscottvansoye

There disputes are usually resolved without litigation Rather than being face-to-face negotiations usually takes place between intermediaries When disagree-ments do land in court the trial judge will try to settle them throughout the process rather than resorting to adjudication[5] Going to trial is considered a failure[6]

The Navajo Culture as a Case StudyTraditional Navajo culture is also a collectivist culture According to the tribal court website Navajo peace-making practices go back to the beginning of time and are part of the tribersquos creation story[7] Peacemaking fo-cuses not on punishment and blame but on restoration of harmony balance and ldquorightrdquo behavior in the com-munity As pointed out by Judge Robert Yazzie for-mer Chief Justice of the Navajo Nation the paramount value is good relations between community membersldquoA great deal of American law is based on corrective justice--using punishment to control (or attempt to con-trol) bad behavior Navajo law in contrast is concerned with good relationships A dispute in Navajo thinking is a situation where people are not in good relations with each other Obviously this is what causes disputes in the first place Navajo justice methods utilize relation-ships talking things out teaching and consensus to ad-just the interaction of partiesrdquo[8] Chief Justice Yazzie notes that straightforward repara-tions are not awarded in peacemaking Instead of fo-cusing on what was lost the goal is to provide what is needed to make the claimant happy

Active and supportive involvement of community mem-bers in helping to resolve disputes is common in collec-tive society In addition to this active support communi-ty pressure and shaming are used to enforce compliance with norms[9] Such group pressure to conform is very powerful in collective societies because onersquos identity is based not on the Western idea of ldquoIrdquo but on membership in the group For an indi-vidualist what determines self-image is internal For a collectivist what others think is most important Although some non-Na-vajo have tried to adopt restorative justice aspects of Navajo peacemaking part of its success depends on shared spiritual values which makes the transfer to non-Navajo systems difficult[10] The Peacemaker is often a spiritual leader reminding participants of their shared values and calling them to account Prayer is part of the session and is recognized as such One central Navajo idea is hozho Though it lacks an exact English counterpart it has often been translated ldquoharmonyrdquo More broadly it is a state of balance peace blessing bounty and wholeness in which all is right with the world because proper rules are being followed ldquoHo-zho reflects the intellectual concept of order the emo-tional state of happiness the moral notions of good and fairness the biological condition of health and well-be-ing and the artistic characteristics of balance harmony and beautyrdquo [11] Restoring hozho to the parties and their community is the primary goal of the Peacemaker


Making Peace in a Diverse Worldmdash

In his book ldquoMaking Peace in the Global Villagerdquo Pro-fessor Robert McAfee Brown describes the collectiv-ist Hebrew concept of shalom in a way that is similar to hozho in its breadth and its idea that all is in order This word translated simply ldquopeacerdquo means whole-ness health security prosperity physical and political well-being Shalom also refers to Godrsquos covenant with the Hebrew people and the blessings that flow from it Like hozho shalom has a spiritual componentThe concept of Ubuntu used in collectivist African cultures translates roughly ldquoI am who I am because of othersrdquo Members of a community are intertwined This concept of universal linkage means that we should share what we have be compassionate friendly caring and hospitable A wrong done to one member affects all members including the wrongdoers Resolution takes place before the members of community any of whom can question disputants or make suggestions Forgive-ness and reconciliation are vital so that the disputants can retake their place in the community and the group as a whole can heal Archbishop Desmond Tutu pro-moted the idea of Ubuntu as a way to call for forgive-ness and begin healing the deep wounds of apartheid[12]

It is fascinating that two of the three collectivist con-cepts discussed above (without any conscious choice by the author) have no precise translation in English And the English translation of ldquoshalomrdquo as ldquopeacerdquo hardly captures the all-encompassing welfare described by Professor Brown It is as if individualists donrsquot ndash or canrsquot ndash understand the collectivist worldviewAll of this has serious implications for peacemakers whether they are mediators involved in small-scale dis-putes or diplomats aiming to resolve ancient rifts The contrasts suggest an early inquiry into several areasWhat does success look like to each of the disputants Is the goal merely the cessation of the dispute by any means Is it reparation for what was lost Is it what disputants need ldquoto be happyrdquo Or is it restoration of relationships communal harmony and spiritual balance Differing goals may mean conflict and confusion within the process The peacemaker certainly needs to be aware of them from the outsetWho are the appropriate parties To an individualist only those directly injured by the dispute need to be present To the collectivist the group has been injured and also is expected to contribute to support during the conflict and advice about settlement This may mean that family members friends neighbors and community

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MAXimize your options wwwfactoradrcom

leaders become part of the process In a collective culture with a strong spiritual component a religious leader may be an appropriate participant All may be expected to consent The presence of ldquooutsidersrdquo and the delays associated with communal decision-making could shock and dismay individualistic partiesWho gets to hear about the results As noted above individualists like to keep ldquotheir businessrdquo private The concept is alien to collectivists who see themselves as interconnected parts of a whole community Too much emphasis on confidentiality could cause anger and suspicionWhat process is used Because collectivists place so much emphasis on relationships the resolution process most comfortable for them is a ldquoconversationrdquo or ldquotalking outrdquo exemplified by the Navajo peacemaking process Everyone is at the table and whoever might help is invited to contribute In the mediation context this corresponds with a more facilitative no-caucus style Individualists may be more at ease with a traditional Western confidential caucus model The cultural differences discussed could cause friction during the peacemaking process They should be dealt with as early as possible preferably during the convening stage

This article isnrsquot intended to provide all the answers ndash clearly other issues will arise as a result of the clash be-tween individualist and collectivist views But perhaps exposure to these concepts will give food for thought to those practicing peace about what it means and how to achieve it zENDNOTES[1] Pedersen P B The Cultural Context of Peacemaking IN PEACE CON-FLICT AND VIOLENCE PEACE PSYCHOLOGY FOR THE 21ST CENTURY (Eds Christie D J Wagner R V amp Winter D A 2001)

[2] Guss C D Decision Making in Individualistic and Collectivistic Cultures IN ONLINE READINGS IN PSYCHOLOGY AND CULTURE (2004)

[3] Miall Ramsbotham and Woodhouse Contemporary Conflict Resolution 25 (available at wwwjmueducommstudieswm_libraryHooley_Schmuckerdoc)

[4] Pedersen supra note 1 at 3-4

[5] Sato Y COMMERCIAL DISPUTE PROCESSING AND JAPAN (2002) 283-286

[6] Pedersen supra note 1 at 5

[7] Peacemaking httpwwwnavajocourtsorgindexpeacemakinghtml

[8] Hozho Nahasdli We are now in Good Relations Navajo Restorative Justice 9 ST THOMAS LAW REVIEW 117 123 (1996)

[9] Goldberg Carol E Overextended Borrowing Tribal Peacemaking Applied in Non-Indian Disputes 72 WASH L REV 1003 1015 (1997)

[10] Id at 1007-11

[11] Brewer JK Indigenous Origins of Inalienable Rights Natural Law Theory in Navajo Culture 8 LOYOLA J PUB INT L 37 43

[12] Murithi T Practical Peacemaking Wisdom from Africa Reflections on Ubuntu 1 THE JOURNAL OF PAN AFRICAN STUDIES 4 28-30 (2006)

1 Humanize the Other Side Figure 1 presents a diagram of a basic fundamental religious conflict In this scenario each party is trying to convince the other that their God is the ldquotruerdquo God Each party is therefore inclined to strive to explain their ldquotruthrdquo to the other sidemdashthey are trying to get the other to make a connection with their God as represented by the dashed lines For some believers this connection may not be possible or even desirable and trying to force the issue may alienate the peacemaker in their eyes It may nevertheless be possible to get each party to understand that the other has a ldquorelationshiprdquo with his or her own God and that the otherrsquos relationship is valid to them Essentially the goal is to humanize each side in the otherrsquos eyes William Thomas concludes in his research on fundamentalism that fundamentalist groups tend to demonize ldquoothersrdquo including anyone that is not of their religious group Gurus and Guerrillas Religious Fundamentalism and Dispute Resolution 4 HARV NEG L REV 115 (1999) Humanization of the other side is a vital step toward overcoming this fundamentalist position and moving toward reconciliation

2 Move to Recognize Individual Relationships with ldquoGodrdquo It is this writerrsquos belief that many religious conflicts arise from a lack of understanding of anotherrsquos relationship to God For parties with a strong personal sense of their relationship with God exploring the similarities between each individualsrsquo relationship to God may help them to identify with one another This approach is presented in Figure 2 where the goal changes from attempting to convince the other side that onersquos God is ldquothe true Godrdquo to recognizing that anotherrsquos relationship with his or her God is legitimate and similar in nature to onersquos own relationship to his or her God This takes the idea of humanization one step further and embraces the possibility that the lives of these two believers while couched on different terms and outward expressions of faith are similar in the way they relate to the divine As a subset of this idea focus may be directed to onersquos relationship to sacred texts instead of their relationship to God Even at the literal level it is possible that individuals of different religions have similar relationships with their sacred texts As an example one

more thAn A nAmeStrategies for Moving Beyond Disputes About ldquoGodrdquo by Jasper Ozbirn

Religion is and according to recorded history always has been a major source of conflict between groups of peoples This article addresses what the writer perceives to be a pervasive root of conflict at the basic level between believersmdashldquowho has the ldquorightrdquo Godrdquo As found by a recent BBC Poll over 60 of the world population holds ldquoethnocentric religious beliefsrdquo in that they believe their religion or God is the only true religion or GodTo begin it should be recognized that most religions or at least most religious texts provide evidence of a preference for compromise to resolve conflict The goal in religious conflict resolution then as stated by one academic article ldquois to facilitate a change from the participantsrsquo narrow exclusionist antagonistic or prejudiced attitudes and perspectives to a more tolerant and open minded attituderdquo Mohammed Abu-Nimer 38 J PEACE RESEARCH 685 686 (Nov 2001) This article provides a broad overview of how getting past the ldquobeliefrdquo to the relationship between the believer and the belief may bring diverse religious perspectives to some consensus

three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13

FoCusmight say ldquoI am Christian because it is the way the truth and the life I find application of the principles in the Bible to be a guiding light in my liferdquo Further exploration may reveal that this person means that

Christianity defines their morality Once this connection is made it may be possible to show them that what they have described is essentially identical to what the ldquootherrdquo person describes receiving from their relationship with their religious doctrines albeit in different terms While this discussion is not likely to lead to a consensus on who has the right God or the right Book the two sides may take a first step toward respecting the other by acknowledging that the other sidersquos religion provides them a viewpoint that is similar on many levels Similarly the focus may be moved from relationship between party and God to relationship between party and church synagogue or mosque to find similarity This might be most useful for a party that appeals strongly to church doctrine for their belief system Thus a peacemaker may bring parties together by illustrating similarities of their respective ldquohouses of worshiprdquo

3 Move to Recognize Relationship Between ldquoGodsrdquo Of course not all adherents of a religion have the same beliefs as all others of that religion Rather individuals vary tremendously in their interpretation and application of their own religion In the proper context (ie with parties that are willing and well prepared) a discussion of God as universal (illustrated in Figure 3) may bring the parties together However this may be more than many are willing to consider and presenting it could harm the peacebuilderrsquos credibility if presented to the wrong parties or at the wrong time or in the wrong way

Jasper Ozbirn

Jasper L Ozbirn received a LLM in Dispute Resolution with an Emphasis in Mediation from the Straus Institute Pepperdine University School of Law He is presently an associate attorney with Citron amp Citron in Santa Monica CaliforniaRead more articles by Jasper Ozbirn at wwwadrtimescomarticlesauthorjasperozbirn

In conclusion consensus between religions or at least between religious individuals is almost always possible at some level Through enhanced understandings of other religions all people of faith may deepen their own spiritual journey z


DisCovEr

The singularly most exciting and successful proponent of this approach is the PACIS PROJECT in Faith-Based Diplomacy winner of this yearrsquos PEACEMAKER AWARD bestowed by the national Association for Conflict Resolution for significant and sustained contribution by an organization to the cause of peace A joint effort by the number one ranked ADR program among US law schools the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution of the Pepperdine University School of Law in Malibu California and the leading Washington DC based field-savvy ldquodo-tankrdquo the International Center for Religion and Diplomacy the PACIS PROJECT in Faith-Based Diplomacy in consultation with governments religious leaders and popular movements addresses intractable identity-based conflicts that exceed the grasp of traditional diplomacy and legal remedy PACIS intentionally and effectively combines the transcendent power of religion with the practice of international diplomacy through an innovative model of faith-based reconciliation that has borne tangible fruit in the United States Sudan

Kashmir east central Europe and of late in the Arab and Israeli spheres of influenceThe PACIS PROJECT emphasizes ldquoon the groundrdquo intervention among polarized communities in situations of identity-based conflict It seeks to work with leaders and emerging leaders in policymaking circles foreign ministries national security agencies religious denominational communities higher education and humanitarian non-governmental organizations who must grapple with the complex role of religion in societies and faith as a contributing factor in violent conflict Religious worldviews when used by extremists to promote violent conflict threaten world peace The PACIS PROJECT focuses on the development of this specialized field within track two diplomacy and is able to work in collaborative fashion with official track one government-to-government diplomacyIn his book ldquoReligion The Missing Dimension of Statecraft Dr Douglas Johnston President of the International Center for Religion and Diplomacy

Diary oF a peacebuilding missionby Anne Sawyer

Peacebuilding is strategic elusive complex and predicated on hope ndash hope that a collaborative pursuit of common interests will afford a better future for our children This is nowhere more evident than in the emerging work of faith-based diplomacy Track two diplomacy is proving to be the sophisticated cutting-edge 21st century transactional diplomatic process among state and non-state actors that effectively creates opportunities for progress in the worldrsquos identity-based conflicts Faith-based diplomacy is the most promising manifestation in this developing field as it moves beyond win-lose paradigms of the Westphalian past reanimating ancient principles of Abrahamic faith-based reconciliation Yes religion factors significantly in this mix

December 2011 | 15

Peacebuilding meeting with Grand Mufti of Syria

writes ldquoAlmost anywhere one turns one finds a religious dimension to the hostilitiesrdquo The PACIS PROJECT seeks to bring together the principles and practices of religion with politics in the cause of peacemaking and conflict resolution W Timothy Pownall Assistant Director of the Straus Institute who shares PACIS PROJECT co-director duties with the Reverend Canon F Brian Cox and Mr Michael E Zacharia suggests ldquoWe have allowed our religions to become politicized and our scriptures to be weaponized and this makes enemies of us allrdquo This unique and pioneering work of the heart is sometimes messy and surprising Pownall saysldquoOur effort is propelled by the notion that until a shared value system is socialized across combatant societies peace treaties remain pieces of paper Abrahamic faith-based reconciliation is that new and ancient construct calling to us through our respective sacred texts to love God and to love our neighbor as we love ourselves To that end where possible and when invited we bring together disparate parties into an innovative

facilitated process to create a mini-crisis of conscience a facing inward and then a facing outward in a kind of controlled sacred space dynamic where participants are led through a consideration of core faith principles such as lsquothe otherrsquo justice forgiveness healing relationships peacemaking and the sovereignty of God As you would imagine emerging from this process stereotypes are dismantled new understanding and relationships are forged and a fearlessness in addressing heretofore lsquodangerousrsquo topics becomes an exercise in friendship formation Itrsquos quite moving and deeply humbling to witness and experience participants and facilitators alike recognize they are experiencing the transcendentrdquoIn forming these new relationships trust and understanding ensues and ldquoparticipants find themselves comfortable holding one another accountable to the highest and best of their respective faithsrdquo says Pownall

General information appearing in this article on the PACIS Project is also available at the Pepperdine PACIS project website


Anne Sawyer

Anne Sawyer is a Senior Case Manager with Agency for Dispute Resolution Having worked for a range of industries from Fortune 500 companies to solo practitioners Anne has over twenty years of paralegal and administrative experience in the legal field Prior to her position with Agency for Dispute Resolution she was the Law Firm Administrator and Senior Paralegal for Sawyer amp Sawyer in Cypress California She also previously worked at Paul Hastings Janofsky Walker and Hilton Hotels Corporation as a senior paralegal and project manager Anne has an affinity for details and intensive research while also maintaining focus on the ldquobig picturerdquo She understands the strict requirements of the legal progress but also honors the integrity of the human experience Anne lives in Huntington Beach with her family and she is an avid traveler music enthusiast and volunteer at Precious Life Shelter WebsitemdashRead these and other articles by Anne Sawyer at wwwadrtimescomarticlesauthorannesawyer

As the PACIS PROJECT emphasizes ldquoon the groundrdquo intervention among polarized communities in situations of identity-based conflict its latest diplomatic mission this past November to Beirut Amman Cairo Jerusalem Bethlehem and Tel Aviv highlighted again PACISrsquo ability to connect with significant state and non-state influencers PACIS is overseen by Timothy Pownall the Assistant Director of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University and Principal at The AGENCY FOR DISPUTE RESOLUTION Brian Cox International Center for Religion and Diplomacy Senior Vice President and Michael Zacharia a veteran of the White House US State Department and international corporate lawClearly Timothy Pownall Brian Cox and Michael Zacharia bring an amazing wealth of experience in faith-based diplomacy including history politics conflict management theology personal faith and socialpoliticalreligious movements among the Muslim Jewish and Christian populations of the region This particular mission was no different Each team member realized that they were undertaking an initiative that had no clear precedent in history ldquoThere is no manual except the example of Abraham who took one step in faith at a time in answer to the promptings of his Godrdquo suggests Cox

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to speak with Tim Pownall about this latest mission to find out how these trips unfold and where they think they are making a difference We also had a chance to discuss the significant momentum the PACIS PROJECT is gaining across the Middle East

Here are some highlights of our conversation

Q Where can people find out more about your work Does PACIS have a websiteldquoYes of course People can read about our many diplomatic missions at wwwlawpepperdineedustrausacademicspacis The website presents the eight core values addressed in Christianity Judaism and Islam and includes information about Abrahamic faith-based reconciliation as a moral visionrdquo

Q What is your main purpose or message when you hit the ground on these missionsldquoOur approach is to form and maintain and connect those strategic relationships we have established in order to socialize the notion of faith-based reconciliation through our diplomatic processes across the region Our process heals relationshipsrdquo

Q How do you bridge the gap between the various faithsldquoIn conversation we acknowledge that for all of us our faith is deeply heart-felt ndash we believe what

DisCovEr

we believe ndash and we come to it through various experiences We care in good faith to continue to grow in our faith and better understand its demands of us in our political and socialcivic lives This we share in common From this place we begin to explore and learn together about bridging our differences respecting those differences and living with those differences according to the divine voice in our respective sacred texts As its core intellectual and methodological framework The PACIS PROJECT is an innovative approach to diplomacy and peacemaking that has been developed over the past twenty years by Brian Cox This innovative approach is called faith-based reconciliation which is defined by eight core values and by a deliberative process that focuses on creating a reconciling spirit between antagonists and engaging in constructive joint problem solving as a means of not only resolving the conflict but of also addressing the need for a wider process of sociopolitical healing so as to develop a sustainable environment for peacerdquo

Q How do you approach someone from the Muslim Brotherhood and get that person engaged in a conversation as a person of faith when by all accounts you can be perceived as their enemyldquoIt is clearly understood that we have starkly divergent political and religious beliefs and are viewed in fact with great skepticism initially by a variety of groups we interact with We engage senior and middle level religious leaders from both Israel and the Arab nations in the Middle East from groups and movements who typically resist constructive problem solving and tend to undermine the peace process Since the faith-based reconciliation methodology focuses on lsquochanging heartsrsquo as a prelude to joint problem solving it was suggested that such a process is better suited to reaching such groups because our approach goes to where their hearts are and engages with them there as a matter of first priority

Q Do you find that some feelings get ldquolost in translationrdquo at timesldquoYes of course Neither Brian Michael nor myself speak Arabic or Hebrew ndash and yet the lsquoheartrsquo is an amazing communicator of intent and motive Fortunately we donrsquot miss too much All three of us are highly experienced mediators listeners and internationalists so cross-cultural communication and understanding comes relatively easily When we

conduct our faith-based reconciliation events we employ the services of knowledgeable interpretersrdquo

Q What do you think is the most important question that can be asked during these conversationsldquoI ask lsquoWhat do you believe I know about your religionmdashtell me about your faith What do you believersquo Then we ask the obvious follow-up lsquoWould you help me understand why that is so important to yoursquo It is important to understand we donrsquot throw out that question in the first two minutes of meeting someone There is a process of formalinformal diplomatic protocol and social etiquette that is inevitably observed Only at the appropriate time and in the most culturally sensitive manner will we eventually get to that questionrdquo

Q What was the biggest surprise during this recent tripldquoThe serendipity in our most recent trip happened while we were working in Cairo We were approached lsquoout of the bluersquo by senior members to the Syrian National Council in exile to enter into conversation with them about the possibility of consulting with the National Council concerning matters of consensus building and peacebuildingrdquo

Q Are you seeing major shifts in the Middle East ldquoYes there is something very big happening throughout the region ndash popular movements and indigenous political activism informed by what we would call democratic ideals of freedom and self-determination are rumbling and roiling about the so-called holy lands and North Africa Itrsquos a time of danger and great opportunity My hope is that as the interests at play jockey for position that the PACIS PROJECTrsquos innovative model of faith-based reconciliation (a religious framework for peacemaking that has been seriously lsquoroad-testedrsquo and has borne tangible fruit in other intractable identity-based conflicts) will be taken seriously to heart and appropriated by emerging popular movements as a deeply impactful and highly effective diplomatic engagement process alternativerdquo z


Tim Pownall on behalf of the PACIS project in faith-based diplomacy accepted the 2011 Peacemaker Award given each year by the Association for Conflict Resolution The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) is an organization committed to awareness of conflict resolution in the public ACRrsquos vision is that ldquoAll people know their choices for conflict resolutionrdquo As part of its mission to empower individuals by giving them choices for quality conflict resolution each year the ACR presents the Peacemaker Award to recognize an individual or organizationrsquos significant and sustained contribution to the cause of peace Since 2001 this award has recognized efforts to help resolve ethnic religious or civil conflicts around the globe by the effective employment of various conflict resolution approaches In presenting this award each year ACR notes that the purpose of conflict resolution is to ldquobring peace to troubled relationships whether domestic organizational environmental or internationalrdquo ACR presented the Peacemaker

Award to Tim Pownall and the PACIS Project in Faith-Based Diplomacy of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution of Pepperdine University in recognition of its effort to resolve troubled relationships in the Middle East Tim Pownall is founding director of the PACIS project with Rev Brian Cox of the International Center for Religion and Diplomacy and Michael Zacharia On a recent trip to the Middle East with the PACIS project Tim Pownall met with the Secretary General of the Muslim Brotherhood When asked why someone from the West wanted to meet with a leader from the Muslim Brotherhood Pownall responded ldquoPolitics has made enemies of us Yet my faith says that I am supposed to love you And I canrsquot love you without knowing yoursquordquoIn employing faith-based diplomacy the PACIS project seeks to use faith as a portal and a vehicle towards a deeper conversation By examining sacred texts onersquos peace tradition is often remarkably similar to the peace tradition of onersquos enemy

Only through recognizing that all are created equal in the eyes of God can both sides begin to employ practical problem solving True transformation does not begin with pieces of paper embodying a peace agreement between government official Tim Pownall notes ldquoPeople are not prepared to live together in peace because the idea of faith-based diplomacy and faith-based Abrahamic reconciliation has not been socialized in their respective societiesrdquo The PACIS project with its strategic partners initiates and facilitates this conversation to begin to create lasting peace z

Watch Tim Pownallrsquos acceptance speech onlinemdash

Learn more about ACRrsquos Peacemaker Award onlinemdash

Association for Conflict Resolution2011 PEaCEmakEr awarD

December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr

The PACIS team drawn from the fields of religion politics law national security business and academia analyze plan and implement faith-based methodologies that draw on the wellsprings of the various faith traditionsThe objectives of the PACIS PROJECT are four-fold1 bull To promote the Abrahamic values of faith-based reconciliation as a paradigm for 21st century societies as an alternative to religious extremism and militancy as a means of healing the broken family of Abraham (Jews Christians and Muslims) and as a methodology of faith-based conflict intervention

2 bull To empower indigenous senior civil society and grassroots leaders with a faith-based approach to peacemaking that seeks to ldquosoften heartsrdquo as a prelude to constructive joint problem solving 3 bull To create an academic home for faith-based diplomacy while preparing the next generation of faith-based diplomats 4 bull To foster and effect increasingly complementary collaboration with traditional track one diplomatic and peacemaking efforts z

thE PaCis ProJECt in Faith Based Diplomacy

Timothy Pownall Acceptanc Speech


on thE EDgE

Gandhi once gave a call-to-action ldquoBe the change you want to see in the worldrdquo

How have you responded For me I am fully aware that unless I find peace within I cannot provide a peaceful space for others I cannot be a peacekeeper if I do not know how to be ldquopeace-filledrdquoMy return to inner peace began with the awareness that my belief sys-tems thoughts and values create the life I experience What I now know is that as I challenge these belief systems rather than avoid them I open the doorway to my higher consciousnessMy inner peace was disrupted at the age of seven with the sudden death of my father In that moment because it was so painful the only way I knew how to find tranquility was by controlling my emotions and pushing the pain away While I thought I was fighting to maintain my inner peace I now realize that I had abandoned it by vowing to never experience that kind of pain again What I didnrsquot realize was that in doing so I lim-ited my ability to be fully engaged emotionally in all of my life experi-ences whether joyous or painful

I controlled my feelings for several decades before I began to notice that my incessant resistance to feeling any pain and my relentless need to manipulate my emotions was becoming increasingly exhausting The burden became so great that I simply wanted reliefBut how could I do that without feeling completely exposed vul-nerable and open to pain First I found courage I took an honest look at how I was relating to the world and determined whether or not my behavior was serving my highest goodSecond I allowed myself to be vulnerable I allowed myself to feel the emotions of the painful life experiences I had pushed away and most importantly the grief I felt when my father died This step was crucial because once I allowed my-self to feel my grief I was able to release it I was astonished It was that simple The suffering no longer had a hold on meThird I took ownership of all of my life experiences and recognized that I created my own suffering through limited thoughts and irra-tional beliefs The empowering part of this awareness was understanding

that I actually possessed the full au-thority to choose whether to suffer under the weight of these stories or to be free from them No longer fearful liberated from stifled emotions and free from limiting thoughts I realize that I now have the liberty to create a new beginning The possibilities of what I can become are much greater than ever beforeTo me inner peace means having the courage to surrender control and allow myself to be vulnerable enough to embrace my own suffer-ing When I embrace my suffer-ing I conquer it In that moment healing can occurs and I am able to overcome pain in exchange for a sense of peaceI think that having inner peace is a necessary first step for any peace-maker We have to know peace within ourselves before we can help others find it in themselves We have to have gone through the process of embracing our own suffering if we are going to stand a chance guiding others along that road Aligned in harmony and ldquopeace-filledrdquo I now am the peace I want to see in the world and I am able to share that peace with the world z

my Journey to inner Peaceby Kanoe Yim Wheeler

December 2011 | 21

Kanoe Yim Wheeler is a Relationship Manager with the Agency for Dispute Resolution She has over 20 years of management experience in the legal field Her most recent position was as the Executive Director with Kabateck Brown Kellner LLP Prior to that she was the Administrative Manager at Skadden Arps Slate Meagher amp Flom LLPrsquos Los Angeles office There Kanoe served as one of the key players on the Management Team and supervised the LA officersquos largest support staff department consisting of over 60 secretaries Before moving to Skadden Kanoe was the Office Manager at the Law Offices of Richard A Lovich staff counsel for Infinity Insurance Her prior experience also includes working for Younesi amp Yoss LLP Hunt Ortmann Palffy amp Rossell Inc and sole practitioner Stephen D Sawyer

Kanoersquos ability to provide solutions and methodologies to address organizational needs led her to understand the vital role each person plays in the success of an organization and further inspired her commitment to empower others to achieve their potential Kanoe is trained in alternative dispute resolution through the Los Angeles County Bar Association In addition her leadership training includes The Landmark Forum Education and The Advanced Course Pacific Institutersquos Imagine 21 Curriculum and Self I-dentity through Horsquooponopono Kanoe is currently pursuing a Masterrsquos Degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica

wwwAgencyforDisputeResolutioncom

Have an article story comment or topic suggestion you would like to share with ADR Times Email editoradrtimescom or contribute online at wwwadrtimescomcontribute


After separation and during the divorce process you likely have become angry resentful and hostile towards your spouse When our relationships become threatening such as a damaged marriage relationship we protect ourselves by forming a negative image of the other person This negative image helps us live on with our lives without experiencing psychological disintegration [1] In other words if I believe my spouse is at fault and a horrible person life is more bearable As a result our view of the event relationship and all the negative beliefs we use to help us cope become imbedded in our minds Your spousersquos views ideas and beliefs which were clever and wise are now simple-minded and faulty What used to be unique and special about your spouse is silly and foolish Your thoughts continue to deepen as a reaction to your anger and even hostility toward your spouse [2]

During this process we avoid looking at our contribution to the failed relationship[3] When we hurt we distance ourselves Part of the divorce is the very physical

separation between yourself and your spouse This physical separation makes it very difficult to hear any disconfirming information about your spouse[4] Your ex-spouse can no longer explain his or her beliefs attitudes or actions because you are no longer together Instead you are surrounded by others who will likely encourage your beliefs attitudes and actions not those of your spouse You seek out friends and family to reassure you that it was in fact your spousersquos fault The more you process your view the more your view even if it is faulty becomes a part of your reality Although this behavioral pattern is comfortable it leaves you with a painful past and an inability to create a new lasting future[5] You must decide whether you wish to reconcile your relationship with your ex-spouse so that you can co-exist in a mutual understanding of what went wrong In the dissolution of your marriage you might have been at fault your ex-spouse at fault or more likely a combination of both your behaviors You must be completely honest with yourself and identify your responsibility

for the failed marriage Have you misused your marriage relationship causing your spouse to suffer Have you been hurt because your spouse violated your trust First you need to be responsible for any harm you caused your spouse If on the other hand you were the one that was faulted you need to acknowledge your pain and hurt but with the specific purpose of letting it go If you want to reconcile and have a healthy future you can no longer be a victim Be honest about the areas you have harmed your spouse and areas you have been hurt Consider speaking with a friend or a counselor to help you through this process To complete the reconciliation process you really need to work with your spouse who will also have to go through these steps If he or she is willing then you will be ready to discuss your discoveries acknowledge your hurt and if at fault for any behavior ask for forgiveness If your spouse will not agree you will still receive the benefit of forgiving yourself your spouse and releasing yourself to a positive future through the first step of the reconciliation process z

the healing Power of reconciliationMoving Past Divorceby Dina Haddad

December 2011 | 23

Dina Haddad is a family law attorney panel mediator at the Agency for Dispute Resolution and principal of Families First Mediation She is a Judge Pro Tempore for the Personal Property Arbitration in Santa Clara County She received her LLM in Alternate Dispute Resolution from Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine School of Law and a Juris Doctor from the University of California Hastings College

wwwffmediationcom

ENDNOTES[1] Donna Hicks The Role of Identity Reconstruction in Promoting Reconciliation IN FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION RELIGION PUBLIC POLICY amp CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION (ed Raymond G Helmick et al 2001) 129-149

[2] KENNETH CLOAK MEDIATING DANGEROUSLY THE FRONTIERS OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION (2001) 73-86

[3] Hicks supra note 1

[4] Id

[5] Ronal W Shriver Jr Forgiveness A Bridge Across Abysses of Revenge IN FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION RELIGION PUBLIC POLICY amp CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION (ed Raymond G Helmick et al 2001) 151-167

EDgE


Ahhhh yes here we are again ndash The Holidays Yes yes indeed itrsquos that time of year when most of us

travel hither and thither to be with our loved ones to give and receive presents and generally take some time to ldquobreatherdquo and reflect on the year In fact sometimes the festive spirit of the season becomes too palpable ndash so real that I swear I can hear the sleigh bells a jinglinrsquo wherever I hellip oh wait itrsquos just the muzak playing as I buy my tooth brush at the grocery store hellip and ohhellip ldquooh sorry marsquoamrdquo ndash just ran into someone trying to dodge the animatronic elf outside ldquoSantarsquos Wonderlandrdquo in the mall hellip And thatrsquos my point With all of the hullabaloo over presents cards Black Friday deals New Yearrsquos resolutionshellipitrsquos exhausting And itrsquos distracting ndash from the aspects of our lives that often matter the most and from the very reasons many of us celebrate this time of year to begin with No no no Irsquom not going to go on about how we should celebrate and remember just the Christian

Jewish or Kwanzaa religions traditions ndash this commentary is broader than that What I do want to say is that there are ways we can all celebrate all religious traditions ndash or at a minimum respect them And I think therersquos no better time to talk about religious acceptance than the holidays In many ways Christmas and Hanukkah today are symbols ndash both powerful and important The word ldquoChristmasrdquo is actually a compound for ldquoChristrsquos Massrdquo and while December 25th is meant to celebrate the actual calendar day of Jesusrsquo birth the actual day (and year for that matter) is a topic of much dispute among scholars Hanukkah actually originated as a ldquofestival of lightsrdquo to celebrate the successful Jewish Maccabean Revolt against the Seleuicid emperor Antiochus IV Therersquos a lot of interesting history behind each holiday But whatrsquos most important I think is the symbol that the holidays provide for many people and indeed what New Yearrsquos in a secular way provides They are symbols of renewal a bright future hellip in short of hope (Theyrsquore also a great

From ConFliCt to Candy CanesA Holiday Reflection on Religious Acceptanceby Zachary Ulrich

CommEntary

December 2011 | 25

excuse to eat good food enjoy good company and generally be merry for a few days off work) But itrsquos not all bundt cakes and Reindeerhellip because therersquos also the flip-side of religion today ndash the conflict-inducing patterns our societies have embraced All-too-often today our mass media portrays the images of horrible atrocities committed in the name of various religions while ignoring the billions of religious followers world-wide who do great deeds in the name of their faith And with the attacks of September 11 2001 and the resulting War on Terror it can be easy to develop what social psychologists call an ldquous vs themrdquo or in- and out-group mentality Itrsquos easy for us to develop radical notions of what followers of ldquootherrdquo religions are like what ldquootherrdquo religions think feel say do value and despise Before we know it we seem to ldquoknowrdquo all about ldquootherrdquo religions and anyone who follows them

We seem to ldquoknowrdquo ldquoright and wrongrdquo And those ldquonot with usrdquo are ldquomistakenrdquo Therersquos great danger in generalizing assumptions to entire groups of people based on limited information Itrsquos called stereotyping and a quick glance at human history shows us only too well how easily false assumptions about ldquoothersrdquo not only create religious intolerance but also perpetuate cycles of violence In fact some social scientists have begun to find evidence that as humans we have a rdquodualrdquo capacity to both ldquovalue equalityrdquo but then at the same time make judgments about ldquoothersrdquo who are not like us hellip And if wersquore honest with ourselves this ldquodualrdquo logic probably exists in most of our minds In fact Irsquoll say it right here ndash Irsquoll admit it openly While indeed I do hold high the civic and moral value of ldquoequality for allrdquo if Irsquom honest with myself there have been and likely always will be times when I make judgments of other people hellip And Irsquoll do it based on what I know what I value what is comfortable for me and what I have come to trust

We all judge As humans we have to do it to survive to make ldquoheuristicrdquo-based decisions based on what information we have to forward our internal life narratives And few things speak more deeply to our sense of self identity purpose or comfort than religious ideology For many of us our faith is our compass Our faith is what keeps us balanced directed assured and connected to others who believe the same Our faith is our rock

Therersquos a lot of interesting history behind each holiday But whatrsquos most important is the symbol that the holidays provide symbols of renewal a bright future in short of hope


It is because of religionrsquos power in all of our lives that it is important to always seek to understand and respect those of faiths other than ours even if we donrsquot have a particular religion Because if we donrsquot then we run the risk of ldquovaluing equalityrdquo while still ldquojudging othersrdquo in ways that produce division strife even violence over issues that run to the core of who we are as human beings Let us seek to first understand Let us commit ourselves to understanding and accepting that there will likely always be religious differences between the great peoples of our planet and move on in peace Why are some so scared of other peoplesrsquo faiths simply because they donrsquot match ours Why are some so angry over the beliefs of others simply because they disagree Sure there are social structures that in some ways oppress those of certain faiths Whenrsquos the last time the United States elected a Muslim president But the goal then should become to help create understanding which doesnrsquot require judging those with whom we disagree Judging only makes things worse I say all of this with two major caveats First Irsquod like to think that most people at least intend to view othersrsquo religions in an accepting and respectful manner which is wonderful But intention and follow-through are often two very different things It is an established sociological principal that our ideals often do not match our actions when it comes to judging those ldquolikerdquo and ldquounlikerdquo ourselves Second therersquos a difference between ldquotolerancerdquo and true ldquoacceptancerdquo hellip Irsquove met

scores of well-intentioned people who ldquotoleraterdquo those of other faiths but never truly ldquoacceptrdquo them ndash that is never truly respect alternative perspectives as much as their own The bridge between tolerance and total acceptance is a hard one to cross one that takes years of introspection ndash but one that is so vital to fostering a healthy peaceful world

So how can we make the leap How can we in this festive Holiday season come to better ldquoacceptrdquo and so less judge those of other faiths Irsquod like to think that a few simple ideas might help 1 Attend a service of another faith ndash Yup you heard me right Of course Irsquom not saying that one must do this in order to better understand and appreciate other religions but itrsquos certainly helpful For instance some of the most eye-opening religious experiences Irsquove ever had were while attending an Orthodox Jewish service in Washington DC a Muslim service in a mosque in Cairo and a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints service in Salt Lake City Am I going to convert to any of these faiths No But did each experience give me a deeper respect for the faiths and lives of others Absolutely 2 Seek out people from other faiths and learn their ldquostoriesrdquo ndash Most major faiths have many stories fables and otherwise legends that ground their ethic and give followers ways to relate to the world Some of the most fascinating conversations Irsquove ever had involved friends from other faiths sharing their stories

Zachary Ulrich

Zachary Ulrich is a Contributing Editor at ADR Times and professional neutral and writer on mediation psychology and business practices He is currently working towards his Juris Doctorate Masters in Dispute Resolution and Masters in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University Zachary is a graduate of the two-year General Electric Financial Management Program where he held several financial analysis positions and studied business operations and strategies from executives within the organization He is a graduate of American University in Washington DC where he obtained his BS in Finance and his BA in both Economics and International StudiesRead more articles by Zachary Ulrich at wwwadrtimescomarticlesauthorzacharyulrich

December 2011 | 27

and insights Itrsquos been said that the mark of an educated mind is being able to at once hold an idea and not necessarily agree Put another way a good discussion of contrasting viewpoints never hurts the participants unless they are scared of what they might find So start a good debate ndash dive-in and allow your mind to wander Irsquove always found that taking the time to truly allow myself to hear othersrsquo viewpoints only humanizes those perspectives And once humanized itrsquos that much harder for us to morally judge othersrsquo views 3 Speak out when you see fear driving conflict ndash And this isnrsquot easy Despite all the modern advances of our society and despite the proliferation of information over the internet so many times in our ldquodevelopedrdquo era we still see large numbers of people rise up against those they perceive as ldquodifferentrdquo People are afraid of what they donrsquot know and ultimately turn to violence to gain a sense of ldquocontrolrdquo over that fear But technology now bridges information gaps that used to drive and perpetuate the fear of cultures beyond our homes And now itrsquos time for society to move-on past that fear This starts at the individual level ndash and it starts with each of us Try to become aware of when you judge others hastily and most certainly try to be a voice of reason when you see others headed towards judgment based on fear Write an opinion for a local newspaper write to Congress be a voice for those of other faiths and backgrounds even if they donrsquot match yours

There truly is a lot of strife in the world today ndash a lot of violence perpetuated by fear and misunderstanding and an unwillingness to accept alternative viewpoints Religion is such an important aspect of so many peoplesrsquo lives across the globe ndash and thatrsquos why itrsquos so easy for us to let our cognitive biases shape our views on othersrsquo faiths Let me be clear Irsquom calling for a sense of balance when we consider our faith relative to othersrsquo ndash no matter how ldquorightrdquo or ldquocorrectrdquo our faith seems to us nor how ldquowrongrdquo or ldquoincorrectrdquo othersrsquo does Itrsquos not just about tolerating those around us with different faiths itrsquos about truly accepting them ndash loving them as human beings and as fellow travelers on this journey we call life So in about a week when wersquore all snug and cozying up with loved ones singing carols opening presents lighting our menorahs ndash whatever we do this Holiday Season ndash let us keep in mind that true acceptance will always be the ultimate peacekeeper behind the ldquopeace and joyrdquo of our cherished Holidays z

CommEnt

mark grossman EsqNeutral | Mediator

I can see a time when Dispute Resolution is the primary way people resolve disputes and

Court Trial is known as ALR - Alternative of Last Resort ldquordquo

ldquo

8006161202 x713 markgrossmanagencydrcom wwwmarkgrossmanagencydrcom

CommEntary

Ban ki-moonrsquos mEDiation

kiCkThe New Tool for

Global Peacekeepingby Mikita Weaver

In following the world of mediation over the past few months Irsquove noticed an interesting shift by United Nations officials It seems Ban Ki-moon is on what some might call a ldquoMediation Kickrdquo In international circles Mediation is quickly becoming recognized as a way to prevent conflicts globally Ban Ki-moon recently said ldquoI am pleased to note how far we have come in recognizing mediation as an invaluable tool for conflict management and resolutionrdquo

Mediation is one of many tools the UN employs as part of professional and effective support to complex peacemaking processes While mediation is only a small fraction of the $7 billion peacekeeping general spending budget the international community is slowly expanding these programs Mediation stands out in many ways as a cost effective peacekeeping tool and preventative measure

In his address to the 66th session of the UN General Assembly Ugandan Vice President Edward Kiwanuka Ssekandi emphasized the importance of mediation to avert crisis before it becomes violent Ssekandi notes that mediation is a worthwhile investment and is relatively inexpensive compared to other peacekeeping efforts without the prospective loss of life In countries where the cost of diplomacy is too high


Mikita Weaver

Mikita Weaver is the Editor-in-Chief of ADR Times a premier online dispute resolution community As an associate at Northrup Schlueter APLC she focuses predominantly on litigation and arbitration in the field of construction insurance defense She received her Juris Doctorate at Pepperdine University School of Law and received a Masters in Dispute Resolution from the Straus Institute Mikita has been published on the Pepperdine Dispute Resolution Law Journal and worked at the Centre for Effective Dispute Resolution in London As an avid traveler she continues to explore various dispute resolution issues and how they vary from region to region She graduated magna cum laude from Berea College with a philosophy degree and her favorite things include yoga cooking photography and singing with the Legal Voices of Los Angeles and Lawyerrsquos PhilharmonicMeet Mikitamdash wwwadrtimescomeditor-in-chief

mediation is a realistic alternative within reach of most governments and can be utilized to facilitate solutions In light of Liberiarsquos disastrous 14-year civil war Vice-President Joseph N Boakai told the General Assembly that the international community must focus on preventative measures before crisis erupts by employing tools like mediation as soon as signs of conflicts begin to emerge Not only can mediation help prevent conflicts but its unique approach may also help alleviate tensions and restore stability in a post-conflict country

With mediation in the international spotlight there may be a new role for women Foreign Minister Aurelia Frick of Liechtenstein told the General Assembly that the international community must do more to encourage women to participate in conflict prevention and resolution Women are often perceived as peacemakers From the family to the workplace women often find themselves facilitating

conversations between people If I may speak in generalities women often focus on communication and strive to listen to others Likewise women are often astutely aware of the various emotions and interplay of feelings in the room Male or female these skills make an individual a better mediator In terms of preventing explosive conflicts we need people around the table who are adept at engaging in dialogue and likely to help others reach resolution Frick says ldquoThe UN must lead by example and appoint more women as leaders in mediation and other transitional processesrdquoMediation is all about using untapped resources Employing more women in the peacemaking process is just one example of how to effectively utilize available resources Mediation can help parties engage in dialogue and prevent conflict from escalating Given the economy governments and countries may not have the budget to create expansive programs to both deal with conflict and to try to prevent conflict Mediation programs offer a cost-effective method that can be implemented that effectively do both Mediation has great potential to help ldquokeep the peacerdquo It is refreshing to see officials from the United Nations and around the globe recognize mediation as the powerful tool that it is z

Mediation can help parties engage in dialogue and prevent conflict from escalating

CommEnt

Check out the ADR Times Editorrsquos Commentary wwwadrtimescomeditors-commentary

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imes

Inc

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12

ADR Times is always seeking fresh and engaging content for both adrtimescom and ADR Times Perspectives our monthly newsletter Please contact editoradrtimescom to send your ideas You can also submit content online wwwadrtimescomconnect

BEComE a ContriButor

Promote your ADR practice organization event and more to the ADR and legal communities ADR Times offers ad space online in email and in our monthly newsletter ADR Times Perspectives To learn more contact editoradrtimescom or go online wwwadrtimescomadvertise

aDvErtisE with aDr timEs

To receive ADR Times Newsletters the ADR Times Weekly Twitter Round-Up and Articles amp News Events Jobs and other content updates via email sign-up online at wwwadrtimescomsubscribe

suBsCriBE to aDr timEs nEwslEttErs amp uPDatEs

ADR Times explores mediation arbitration negotiation diplomacy and peace ADRTimescom publishes articles news and debates and provides an industry directory event calendar job board and community space for public and professionals to connect and share insights

Publisher Mark Fotohabadi amp W Timothy PownallDesign ProductionDana Asper Melaina Rauen

The content of this publication is subject to Copyright by ADR Times Inc 2011

Mikita WeaverEditor-in-Chief

Zachary UlrichContributing Editor

Upcoming Events

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FoCus





December 2011 | 5





rdquo








Doug Noll











December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







Upcoming Events

ADR in the News








FoCus





December 2011 | 5





rdquo








Doug Noll











December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







FoCus





December 2011 | 5





rdquo








Doug Noll











December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 5





rdquo








Doug Noll











December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12














Doug Noll











December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12
















December 2011 | 9

FoCus

Scott Van Soye





















[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12























[10] Id at 1007-11







three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12











three strAtegies

December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 13




Jasper Ozbirn




DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12








DisCovEr





December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 15






Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12








Anne Sawyer








DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







DisCovEr















December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12














December 2011 | 19

DisCovEr






on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12








on thE EDgE






December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 21











December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12













December 2011 | 23


wwwffmediationcom




[4] Id


EDgE






CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12












CommEntary

December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 25









Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12











Zachary Ulrich


December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







December 2011 | 27



CommEnt




ldquo


CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







CommEntary








Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12











Mikita Weaver






CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







CommEnt


AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







AD

R T

imes

Inc

ww

wad

rtim

esc

om95

95 W

ilshi

re B

lvd

9th

Flo

orB

ever

ly H

ills

CA

902

12







peacemaking / perspectives on dispute resolution

Documents