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PEARL HARBOR

ADVANCED STORY ANALYSIS

AUTHOR: Randall Wallace PROJECT ID: AD<clientID>999

FORMAT/PGS: Screenplay 149pgs ANALYSIS DATE: N/A

GENRE: Action - Drama ANALYST: Joe Macher

*BASIC ELEMENTS

The basic elements are the core story structure elements: main character, core

relationship, initiation, motivation, goal, plan, opposition, low point, showdown,

and new motivation. These constitute the spine of any story, regardless of

genre/sub-genre. We will first identify the basic elements and then grade them

on a scale of Excellent, Good, Fair, and Poor to indicate their relative impact on

the structure as a whole.

(Note: If we use different terminology for familiar topics, try not to get hung up on

the jargon. Focus instead on content and context of the commentary. Does it

make sense or not, and are the problems addressed. That’s all that matters.)

1. Main Character: Rafe is clearly the main character in this story.

Excellent Good Fair Poor X

PREMISE LINE: When two competitive best friends go off to war to fight the good fight, the demands of war separate them leading them to fall in love with the same woman, until all three are reunited at the battle of Pearl Harbor resulting in one of the friends making the ultimate sacrifice to honor the woman he loves and his friendship.


2. Core Relationship: On the surface it may appear to many that this story

is a love story. In fact, it is a buddy-picture in the action genre. The core

relationship driving all the personal events is the relationship between Rafe and

Danny. The love story is actually a complicating B-line to this buddy relationship.


3. Initiation: The initiation is the moment in the story where the main

character is spurred into action to get his goal. In this story there is no clear

initiation for the hero.

Excellent Good Fair Poor

X

4. Motivation: The motivation relates back to the main character and

his/her personal problem that is driving him/her to fulfill some emotional need. In

this story, Rafe does not appear to have any clear problem. The character with

the clearest motivation is really Danny.


5. Plan: The plan is how the main character expects to achieve his/her

goal(s). What are they going to do to get from where they are on page 1 to

where they want to be on page 120 (or whatever). In this story, there is no plan.



6. Goal: The goal equates to the main character’s goal. In this case, what

does Rafe want in this story? Ultimately, he wants to get the girl, but he also

wants to get respect from Danny and be regarded as an equal. The hero has a

very weak/underdeveloped goal.


7. Opposition: The opposition is the one character in the story that can

stand in the way of the hero getting what he wants. In this case, that character is

clearly Danny. There is also an external opposition (external meaning: someone

outside the core relationship) in the form of the Japanese. However, Danny as

the opposition is underdeveloped and under utilized.


8. Low Point: The low point of the story is the place (usually the end of the

third act – page 90ish) where the main character has lost everything and it

appears he/she will not achieve the goal. From here he/she finds a new reason

to action (dark or light) and rises from the ashes like the phoenix with the same

goal in mind, but from a new perspective (dark or light). In this story, Rafe’s low

point is when Evelyn reveals she is pregnant with Danny’s baby. However,

Rafe’s low point has no repercussions or dramatic impact on the story.


9. Showdown: The showdown is the place in the story where the main

character and the opposition struggle over control of the main character’s goal.

In this story there is literally a showdown (several of them), but there is no clear


showdown between the opposition (Danny) and the main character (Rafe) over

control of the goal (Evelyn).


10. New Motivation: The new motivation is the point at the end of the story

(after the showdown) where the main character comes to some new level of

understanding about himself that leads him to a higher or lower moral ground.

It’s the key thing they learn about themselves, as a result of the crucible they’ve

just been through. In this story there is a realization by Rafe, of sorts, that he

needs to stop competing with Danny and care for him instead, but this does not

really ring true. (More on this under problems #10).

Excellent Good Fair Poor X ------------X

BASIC ELEMENTS – PROBLEMS MATRIX

Here we explain the basic elements in relation to specific story components/

pages and the weaknesses they pose to the overall piece in relation to their

grading scores.

1. Main Character: Problem: The main character is weak.

The good news is that there is at least a sense of a main character. The problem

with Rafe, however, is that he is extremely passive and non-directed, and

therefore fairly boring. He’s very aggressive in the cockpit, but when it comes to

his relationship with Danny and Evelyn he does a lot of pining away, or drinking

and talking, and a little fighting, but never really comes up with any plan of action


to get this thing he says he wants (the girl). In addition, he spends a great deal

of time away from the main dramatic action in the story (in England or laying low

out of sight). The more he is not interacting with Danny and Evelyn the more

opportunities are lost to create tension and drama in the love triangle. Of course,

the argument can be made that Danny and Evelyn needed “alone time” to fall in

love, and that would have been too hard if Rafe were present. But, Rafe is gone

from the story, meaning he has NO interaction with Danny and Evelyn for over 40

pages (pgs 21-62)! This is way too long for the main character to be

disconnected from the other main characters. The personal story of the hero is

sidelined and we’re left with lots of filler and setup, but little or no relevant drama

that builds the core relationships. Rafe’s physical separation from the other two

main characters, mixed with his passivity and lack of directedness, make him a

poor main character as written. If you keep him in England he should not be

away from Evelyn and Danny for more than 20 pages. Any longer and you run

the risk of not having enough scene time between the central characters to

develop them sufficiently. The following sections will expand on other factors

undermining Rafe as a main character.

2. Core relationship: Problem: Core relationship is underdeveloped.

As stated, this is a buddy-picture, not a love story. There is a love story in it, of

course, but it exists solely as a complicating factor to the friendship between

Rafe and Danny. The biggest issue facing the core relationship is that there is

not enough time spent developing it. The action line overwhelms the personal

story of the main character to the point that, in aggregate, Rafe spends almost

two-thirds of the movie separated from Danny and Evelyn. He is gone from

pages 21-62 (as mentioned above), but you also have to consider that for the

entire attack sequence on Pearl Harbor all character and plot development stops;

that’s another 35-40 pages where Rafe IS NOT interacting dramatically with the


other central characters to develop the love story or buddy story. There’s a lot of

action, to be sure, but nothing that moves the personal story along. Added up

this comes to almost 70 minutes of screen time where Rafe, Danny, and Evelyn

are not in scenes together. No story can hold up to this poverty of dramatic

development. The three central characters need to be in nearly every scene

together; maybe not all three in every scene, but certainly trading on and off with

one another. If they’re not, then how is any real character development going to

happen. The answer is… it can’t. There are other issues concerning the core

relationship, but this single factor alone gives good grounds to a poor scoring for

the core relationship.

3. Initiation: Problem: There is no clear initiation moving the main

character to action.

It could be argued that the first encounter Rafe has with Doolittle is the initiation,

but initiating him to do what? Leave the country (and the story)? There never

really is a scene where something happens to spark the hero’s goal into action;

consequently we have another factor adding to his episodic qualities dramatically

and his passivity, and another poor rating.

4. Motivation: Problem: The main character has no real motivation.

The main character really does not have any clear moral lacking or problem that

leads to some emotional need being fulfilled. Rafe wants to fight the good fight,

and tends to be the defender of the weak (witness the opening scene), but this

“defender” persona never really develops or leads to any problems for Rafe. The

lack of a clear motivation further deteriorates Rafe as the main character. Danny

adds another level of difficulty for Rafe, because he is a character with a clear

motivation, even if it is not well executed dramatically. Danny’s lacking, as a


character, is that he feels not enough. Not as good as Rafe, not good enough as

a son, etc. The entire opening sequence has meaning only if it is to set up this

character flaw and the role Rafe plays in partly contributing to it. The setup is

great, the payoff, not so great. What doesn’t happen for the rest of the movie is

seeing how this dynamic has matured over their grown-up years to make them

the men they turned out to be. We only see Danny’s competitive and passive

aggressive behavior in airplanes. This behavior also needs to show itself on the

ground. By the time Danny reaches his 30’s he should be pretty manipulative

and, perhaps, have something of a mean streak. How would always never

measuring up twist someone over time? We don’t really see the toll this problem

has taken on Danny over the years, or how it plays out in his friendship with

Rafe, and more importantly in the love triangle. If not being good enough is

Danny’s problem then the emotional need he is striving to fulfill is one of

feeling… enough. Not perfect, not better than, but enough, to find peace. He

finds the ultimate peace in the end, but even this is a missed moment, because

Rafe is not interesting enough in his own right as a character to leverage this life-

changing event in a satisfying way. If we had seen the two men grapple with

what’s wrong in their friendship more clearly through the second act, this missed

moment could have otherwise become a transcendent one for Rafe. Too many

missed moments to justify anything other than a poor rating.

5. Plan: Problem: There is no clear plan for the hero.

Given the above comments on the weakness of the main character’s goal, it

stands to reason he has no clear plan of action. The plan is simply what the

hero/heroine plan on doing to get what they want. Rafe really has no plan to

speak of. The result of this is that he reacts, rather than acts. This is the core

reason why he feels so passive and non-directed. There’s not much more to say

about this, other than a story without a main character executing a plan of action


is a story that struggles with episodic storytelling, disconnected moments, and

characters that are always busy but who never seem to get anywhere. Once

again, a poor scoring.

6. Goal: Problem: The hero has a weak/underdeveloped goal.

Wanting to get the girl is certainly a time-tested goal for the hero of most action

movies. And that would be a perfectly good one here, as well, except for the fact

that Rafe never really makes it clear, in action, that he really wants her. Other

than writing her some letters he doesn’t exactly move heaven and earth to be

with the woman he loves. In fact, when he finally gets the opportunity to be with

her, he skulks in the shadows watching her and kind of gives up with a wimpy

wimp and walks off with his tail between his legs. Not the stuff of heroes, yes?

The main character has a very weak goal in this story, and this makes him very

passive and non-directed, consequently all his scenes have a disconnected feel

to them. Rafe needs a clear goal and every scene he’s in needs to move him

closer or farther from that goal. Without a clear goal, that can be acted on

dramatically, the story flounders in episodic storytelling. Thank goodness there

is a 40-minute showdown set piece to keep our attention.

8. Opposition: Problem: The opposition is underdeveloped and under

utilized.

Every main character needs someone to bump up against, to oppose them in

their pursuit of their goal. In this story, that character is Danny. Danny is, in fact,

the one character best suited to stop Rafe from achieving what he wants

(Evelyn). Ideally, the opposition is able to play this role because they know the

hero better than the hero/heroin knows themselves, and so they can use the very

lacking of the hero/heroine to defeat them. That’s how it’s supposed to work


anyway. In this story, because Rafe has no real problem/need and has a weakly

executed goal, and because Danny is never developed deeply enough to work

against Rafe’s personal weaknesses, the opposition role, while present, is very

weak and under-utilized. Danny should be a powerful and engaging force in

Rafe’s journey, but instead he is … not. Yes, they fight a little, and argue, and

barf a lot after drinking too much, but that is not drama and it is not developing

the story. A weak opposition means a weak second act, and a weak final

showdown scene. It also means weak everything else, but the point is, while this

story may have a clear opposition, he is never allowed to act in the role in a

convincing way and this further weakens the main character, the love story, and

the piece as a whole, thus a poor scoring.

9. Low Point: Problem: The main characters low point has no

repercussions or dramatic impact on the actions of the hero.

For Rafe, the low point in the story is when Evelyn tells him that she is pregnant

with Danny’s baby. He’s going on a one-way mission to hell, his woman is

having another man’s baby, and there’s no hope of fixing the situation. Not bad,

but somehow it misses the target. Ideally Rafe’s defeat should signal a new

effort on his part to climb out of the hole with renewed passion to get his life back

and claim Evelyn. But once again, his reaction is one of impotence. The result

of this is that the love triangle is left in limbo and if it were not for the second story

line of the raid on Tokyo, the story would have just fizzled right there in that hotel

room where Evelyn drops the bomb. Fortunately, there was the distraction of the

raid so this let down was followed by some exciting (if anti-climactic) action. Rafe

needed to do something after this news about the baby, something that renewed

his drive. Instead he just lets her leave. Once again, another dramatic moment

lost. Poor.


10. Showdown: Problem: There is no clear showdown scene in this story

between the opposition and the hero that resolves anything.

Danny and Rafe need to have a moment where they have it out over their

friendship and Evelyn. The more important issue to resolve between them is the

friendship. But what is wrong in the friendship is never really shown dramatically

(only suggested). The two men need a scene where they literally fight it out over

all the past competitions, passive-aggression, judgments, and manipulations

(none of these things happen between them in the story, by the way). In the

course of fighting this out, they would also resolve the love triangle. At page 119,

Danny and Rafe kind of agree that they should stop competing and support each

other. This is as close as we come to resolving what is wrong in their friendship,

but it certainly lacks any dramatic oomph or power. A last point on the

showdown has to do with location. If possible, the location of the showdown

should have some natural connection to the personal line of the story. Right now

it does not. Consider having the personal showdown between Rafe and Danny

take place literally within the showdown of the movie. Having Danny die at Pearl

Harbor is a powerful way to have the action line profoundly impact the personal

line of the story. Currently, Pearl Harbor is just a tangential event to the

personal/love lines of the story. Having Danny and Rafe have it out over their

relationship and Evelyn during Pearl Harbor would connect the action line and

the personal line in a much more organic way. Without a strong showdown

scene between the hero and his opposition the story must rely on action and

personal skirmishes to fill in the deficiency. This is ultimately unsatisfying and

the story suffers as a result, thus a poor scoring.


11. New motivation: The hero does not have a real new motivation or come

to any new understanding about himself.

Rafe has a kind of new motivation when he says to Danny that they have to stop

competing and start caring for one another (pg 119). But, he then goes on to say

that he has always been trying to measure up to Danny, etc. The problem here

is that Rafe is having Danny’s new motivation! Danny is the one who has been

trying to measure up all these years. Rafe needs to have a different awareness

about himself, one that Danny can build on by exposing his own vulnerability.

This is the stuff of a great showdown scene and new motivation for the hero. As

it plays out, however, Rafe gets the girl and he gets to rectify the past by raising

Danny’s son, but we don’t ever get a sense of what this means for him

personally, or how this impacts the love affair. Part of this is because this

revelatory experience is usually the result of the showdown scene with the

opposition, and since this is missing, there really is not place for such a learning

to occur. Despite all this, the audience walks away feeling like Rafe is in a better

and stronger place. This is probably due to the strong emotionality involved in

the death scene with Danny and the commitment that comes out of that to raise

his son. Better than nothing, but another missed moment that leaves us wanting

more. Strong enough though, to qualify for a fair to poor scoring.

11. Misc. Problems: Problem: There are two movies here.

This is a huge issue for the story. The movie essentially ends at page 119 when

Danny and Rafe kind of come to an agreement about caring for each other. At

this point the two main characters have resolved their relationship. Story over.

But, no, a new one starts, the Doolittle Raid. Clearly, this last action plot is

tacked on to give Rafe and Danny the big emotional moment to wind things up

between them. The idea is right, but the execution is all wrong. This death


scene would be far more powerful if it happened as a result of the Pearl Harbor

attack and not some tacked on event. Even though the Tokyo raid is an

historical fact, that doesn’t mean it has a place in this story. As long as these two

story lines co-exist in this script the material will be dramatically divided and the

last half hour of the show will be completely anti-climactic.

ADVANCED ELEMENTS – SOLUTIONS MATRIX Here we explain the possible solutions to the issues identified in the Problems

Matrix in relation to specific story components/pages in the script. These are

only suggestions meant to open the door to the creative process to help you

brainstorm your own solutions to your material.

1. Main Character:

Problem: The main character is weak.

Solution: Strengthen the main character.

Okay, this sounds obvious, and it is. But the point is Rafe’s shortcomings as a

main character are at the heart of much what is not working in this script. How to

make him a better main character will be addressed in most of the sections that

follow. They will address in part, or in whole, how to create a more pro-active,

less reactive, and more dynamic hero. One option that should be considered

seriously is that you may have the wrong main character. Danny is, by far, the

more interesting of the two men. He has a ghost (something haunting him that

gives his personal problem history), he has a personal desire, and he is

motivated, in short: he has all the qualities Rafe is missing. Having Danny

become the main character could change the flow of things considerably, and for

the better. Even if Rafe still goes away (so he can “die”, giving Danny and


Evelyn the “out” they need to fall for each other), Danny could be very directed to

follow Evelyn to Hawaii under the guise that he wants to watch over her for Rafe.

Having Danny in Hawaii out of choice, and not out of chance, makes him much

more directed and proactive. It would not be hard to have him manipulate the

system to have this be believable. People do it in the military all the time. It

would even be more powerful if Danny has designs for Evelyn from the

beginning, unbeknownst to Rafe and Evelyn. In this way Danny would be a bit

more of a creep, but it could be done in such a way as to not have him be too

much of a creep. The point is Danny may be the right man for the job of main

character. Switching the two characters (Rafe and Danny) will open up a lot of

new possibilities for both men developmentally. The rest of these notes will

assume the current configuration with Rafe as the main character, but switching

them is something that should be considered in the current context.

2. Core Relationship:

Problem: Core relationship is underdeveloped.

Solution: Create a more compelling opposition dynamic in Danny.

The opening scene of the movie was not an accident. At least, we’ll give the

story the benefit of that doubt. It sets up exactly what should be acted out during

the middle part of the story, namely: Rafe and Danny showing us through their

interactions the one-up, one-down relationship they have. They are more like

older brother/younger brother than friends. And here lies the answer. Rather

than being so chummy and understanding of each other, there needs to be some

tension. Over the years, Danny needs to have developed a healthy resentment

toward Rafe. He doesn’t wear it on his sleeve, but it’s there under the current.

We see it come out in all the little competitions Danny demands Rafe participate


in (drinking contests, playing chicken in cars on the base, etc.). From page 1

until Evelyn comes into the picture, Danny needs to be pushing Rafe and getting

more and more annoying. Not to the point that Rafe says “get lost,” but enough

that Rafe’s nerves get frazzled. In this way, we would be SEEING through

action, scene-by-scene, what is wrong between these two men. And what is

wrong? Danny is resentful of Rafe and his strength, and he hates always playing

second fiddle. He’s tired of being the “little brother” and he doesn’t know how to

move past his adolescent pettiness. With this in place, by the time Danny meets

Evelyn the stage will be set for real fireworks, with Evelyn caught in the middle.

None of this is explicit in the current story. These ideas are strongly suggested

by the opening sequence, but if something like this is expanded, Danny would

become a much more compelling dynamic opposition to Rafe and this would

greatly strengthen the core relationship, as well as the love story.

3. Initiation: Problem: There is no clear initiation moving the main character to action.

Solution: Give Rafe some call to action, some reason to move toward a goal.

Because Rafe has no clear goal in the story, just giving him some initiation will be

meaningless. The Initiation only has meaning because it is tied to the goal of the

hero. One possible goal for Rafe is that he wants the girl (this is in fact the case).

Always a popular one when a love story element is involved. The problem,

however, is that he already has her. So, in order to use this line he would have

to have a different relationship with Evelyn, one, perhaps, not so solid. Maybe

just before he goes off to England he loses her completely and then decides he’s

going to get her back. Perhaps the very fact of telling her that he’s accepted an

assignment to England is the straw that breaks her camel’s back and she dumps

him. In this scenario he would have a strong incentive to “get the girl” back and


act on that goal. But, once again, this sets more of a tense tone and makes the

love affair a whole lot less innocent. There really is no other logical goal for Rafe,

given the context of the present story. The above scenario would allow the writer

to retain the Doolittle scene as the initiation and then he could build on this in

subsequent scenes as Evelyn moves on to her new life in Hawaii. Alternately, if

the Doolittle scene is not used, some other event will have to be introduced to

spark Rafe toward his desire. It is difficult to be specific here, because the field is

wide open and the material naturally suggests nothing else. But, as you will see,

the Doolittle scene can remain if the goal is strengthened AND Rafe is joined

back into the story sooner.

4. Motivation: Problem: The main character has no real motivation.

Solution: Give the main character some moral lacking and then show something

he needs emotionally to fill that lacking.

The only thing Rafe has going for him, from the standpoint of motivation, is that

he wants to fight the good fight. He wants to be a good pilot; he wants to kill

Germans, etc. None of these things speak to some personal lacking inside him

pushing him to some emotional fulfillment. What does he need to be a whole

man? Apparently nothing. Danny has his devils, but Rafe seems to have none.

He needs a devil. And he needs one consistent with the core relationship in the

story, meaning a devil that makes sense of his relationship with Danny. This was

suggested earlier with the idea that Rafe has a savior complex (or something like

it). For some reason he feels he has to save the world and until he does he can’t

have what he wants. This problem is called symbiotic guilt. This kind of person

says, “I can’t be happy until everyone around me I care about is happy.” This

could be how his childhood played out with Danny. Rafe’s the caretaker, the


protector, the one who makes sure everyone else has (whatever), and never gets

for themselves. This speaks to a moral lesson that can be learned at the end of

the story, namely that sometimes it’s okay to come first. And in fact, sometimes

you have to save yourself before you can save anyone else. These is a powerful

personal theme that suggests some very dramatic lines of interplay between all

three of the main characters, lines presently lacking. The point to understand

here is that Rafe is so one-dimensional right now that he is boring. Giving Rafe

some lacking in his character is essential to developing a growth arc for him, as

well as a more interesting character through the second act of the movie. Even if

you don’t use this line of drama suggested, something like it is required to lift this

main character out of mediocrity.

5. Plan:

Problem: There is no clear plan for the hero.

Solution: Give him one.

This is perhaps the most open-ended element right now. The plan is the steps

the main character takes to achieve what he wants. Until a clear goal can be

decided upon for this main character, Rafe can choose no plan. But, here is how

it might play out if you pick, say; the “get the girl back” goal. After Evelyn dumps

Rafe, he must enlist Danny to help him keep his eye on Evelyn when she’s in

Hawaii. Rafe could concoct a scheme to get Danny’s agreement to follow Evelyn

to Hawaii and then pretend to fall in love with her. Rafe would be comfortable

with this because he knows Danny would never betray him (or sleep with his

girlfriend). Danny would hate the idea, but he’s a loyal friend and “big brother”

needs his help for a change, so Danny has something to prove here as well.

Once in Hawaii, Rafe can stay in touch with Danny, feeding him advice and

suggestions how to keep Evelyn involved so she doesn’t go out with other men.


Danny would be getting in deeper and deeper, eventually falling for her. This is

an example of a goal, plan, and setup with the main characters that will lead to

tension, drama, and satisfaction by the audience, three things currently missing.

The other part of this plan would involve Rafe doing his all to get back to Hawaii

and out of England. He should be out of the picture for no more than 20 pages.

In this scenario you would not need to have him die and come back from the

grave. Because Evelyn had dumped him, she is free to date anyone she wants,

so Danny is fair game. So now, when Rafe returns, the stage is set for a huge

blow up and melt down. So, what happens when Rafe gets to Hawaii? Things

don’t go as planned. He realizes Danny and Evelyn are coupled and he feels

betrayed by both of them. He now has to figure out how he can get her back

from Danny, thus pitting himself against his best friend. Evelyn would have to

figure out at some point that she’s been used and then read both men the riot act

(more on this at the Low Point), but now Rafe would be in direct opposition to

Danny… and wouldn’t you know it, exactly when the darn Japanese decide to

attack Pearl Harbor. Again, even if you don’t use this scenario, you can see how

a real plan by the main character can play out, how it can impact all the central

characters, and how it can complicate all the core relationships for the main

character, leading to a powerful resolution.

6. Desire:

Problem: The hero has a weak/underdeveloped goal.

Solution: Give him a clear goal.

We have talked about the goal quite a bit already. So, we won’t belabor the point

here. The best option right now for Rafe is to lose Evelyn before they are

separated by their new assignments and then to have him desire to get her back.


The war, Danny, and the Japanese all seem to get in the way of this, however,

leading to all sorts of complications.

7. Opposition:

Problem: The opposition is underdeveloped and under utilized.

Solution: Utilize Danny more as a direct opposition regarding Rafe’s goal.

In love stories the opposition to the main character is the other lover. In buddy

movies the opposition of the main character is the other buddy. What that means

here is that Danny is Rafe’s opposition. Not because we say so, that’s just how it

works structurally. Could it be different? Sure, you can do anything you want.

But, the tradeoff is that you better have some fancy footwork ready to transcend

the natural opposition that exists in these relationships. You can always break

the rules… you should strive to do that, in fact. But you can’t break what isn’t

there to be broken. Remember, first get the frame of the house in place, then

start messing around with the dry wall and plumbing. In this story you have a

natural setup from the very first scene that should be built on through the rest of

the movie. We mentioned earlier, under the core relationship element, some

ideas to strengthen Danny as a dynamic opposition for Rafe. Beyond these

points, what needs to happen with Danny is that he needs to have some reason

to stop Rafe from getting what he wants. Either he wants Evelyn for himself, or

he wants to just be a creep and stop Rafe from having something he knows Rafe

wants. This is that mean streak we mentioned earlier. Remember, the

opposition is the one character who knows how to use the internal

weakness/lacking of the hero against him in order to stop the hero from achieving

his goal. No one knows Rafe as well as Danny. He’s the one person who knows

how to push Rafe’s buttons. Danny needs to do just that, and right now he

doesn’t do anything of the kind. The question(s) to answer are: given their


relationship and their past, why would Danny want to stop Rafe from having what

he wants? Would he even be aware of his opposition? The above suggestions

should help you arrive at some answers to these questions.

8. Low Point:

Problem: The main characters low point has no repercussions or dramatic

impact on the actions of the hero.

Solution: Make Rafe’s low point relevant to his relationships and have it leave

him at a higher or lever level.

The low point is when the hero realizes he’s been abandoned and has little or no

hope of getting what he wants. In this dark place he somehow finds a reason to

continue and emerges with new energy (either light or dark) to pursue his desire

anew. On the surface it would appear that the low point for Rafe is when Danny

dies in his arms. Not a fun moment, to be sure, but it’s not Rafe’s low point. The

real low point is when Evelyn tells him she’s pregnant with Danny’s baby. What’s

the point of this scene unless it devastates Rafe? And if it devastates him, what

does he do with that dramatically? Right now, the answers to those questions

are: there is no point, and he does nothing. What he should do with this moment

is use it to go pound the blankity-blank out of Danny. He’d find him and clean his

clock. And then he would figure out how he could get Evelyn back. That’s what

a real main character would do in this situation. This would then set up the next

element, namely the showdown.

9. Showdown:

Problem: There is no clear showdown scene in this story between the opposition

and the hero that resolves anything.


Solution: Have Rafe and Danny fight it out over Evelyn and what is wrong in

their own relationship.

The showdown is where the opposition and the hero have it out over who is

going to control the goal. But, unlike other encounters with the opposition where

the hero loses, he wins this one because he has come back from the defeat of

the low point stronger (for good or ill). As stated above in the Low Point, Rafe

would go after the man who has put him in his awful situation: Danny. Once he

finds Danny he would confront him about the situation with Evelyn and make it

clear he is not going to give up. Danny would have to push back and

incriminations will fly and they realize this issue is not going to get answered by

them… Evelyn will have to choose. But, the real point of this showdown scene is

not Evelyn or even the baby. The real point is what’s wrong between Rafe and

Danny. Evelyn is just the doorway into this discussion. Rafe and Danny have to

get real personal here about their history, “you did this,” “yeah, but you did that,”

and blame the hell out of each other, until Danny finally breaks down and spills

his guts to Rafe about how he has always felt less than and not enough, and

second fiddle, etc. This can be a powerful moment that does not have to end in

a big hug. It can just lie there like a stone, and should. The important thing is

that what had to be said was finally said, but they will both need time to chew on

this. Perfect, because they are about to go on a one-way mission to hell and

neither of them may return. All this sets up the perfect moment in China when

Danny is dying in Rafe’s arms he can ask for forgiveness and give his blessing to

Rafe to raise his son. This is much more meaningful a scene than having Danny

discover, as he’s dying, he’s going to be a dad and then we’re done. All of this

demonstrates how the low point leads to a meaningful showdown with the

opposition and the setup for the next element, the new motivation. The last point

about the showdown is this: it happens in the wrong place. But the location of

the showdown can be a powerful element as well, if it is organic to the story.


Right now it is not. Pearl Harbor should be the end of the movie. Danny should

die there, not in China. Everything described above about the showdown’s

dynamics and the final death scene would only expand if it all occurred at the end

of the attack on Pearl Harbor. This is potentially a very melodramatic moment,

and you have to be careful not to go over the top, but this is the natural end to

the story… not China. There is more on this in the last point in this section.

10. New motivation:

Problem: The hero does not have a real new motivation or come to any new

understanding at the end of the story.

Solution: Give him one!

Rafe suggests he and Danny start caring for one another and stop competing.

He then adds that he’s been trying to measure up to Danny all these years.

Presumably, because Danny has been through such a dark experience with his

father, he must be incredibly strong to have survived such a childhood. Rafe,

obviously, can’t image himself surviving something like that, so he “looks up” to

Danny, who is his “hero.” All a great sentiment, but, as stated in the Problems

Matrix, it’s the right sentiment but the wrong character. Danny is the one who

should be saying this to Rafe. Danny would be, in his way, asking for

forgiveness. He would be offering his friendship anew, after having screwed it up

all this time. He would be offering Rafe the ultimate honor of raising his child.

How can Rafe not change at a moment like this? In the current story, he

manages to do just that. This is the transcendent moment Rafe needs to lift out

of his own crap. He’s not everybody’s protector, he’s not always the good guy,

he’s not Captain America; he’s just a guy like everybody else. It’s not Rafe’s fault

Danny handed his power over to Rafe all their lives, but it is his responsibility to


take this moment and become a different kind of man; one fit for Evelyn’s

husband, and one fit to raise Danny’s child. By Danny finally having the courage

in the showdown to tell it like it is, Rafe can make a new choice about the kind of

man he wants to be. This awareness is the gift Danny gives him; pretty powerful

stuff. This is how a new motivation could work in this story. But again, even if

you don’t follow this suggestion, something like it needs to be present to have the

hero rise to a higher level, morally, at the end of his struggles. Right now, Rafe

starts off a good guy and he ends up a good guy. Boring.

12. Misc. Solutions: Problem: There are two movies here.

Solution: Drop the Doolittle Raid. Have Danny die at Pearl Harbor.

The movie essentially ends at page 119 when Danny and Rafe kind of come to

an agreement about caring for each other. At this point the two main characters

have resolved their relationship. Story over. But, no, a new one starts, the

Doolittle Raid. Clearly, this last action plot is designed to give Rafe and Danny

the big emotional moment to wind things up between them. The idea is right, but

the execution is all wrong. As mentioned above, this death scene would be far

more powerful if it happened as a result of the Pearl Harbor attack and not some

tacked on event. Even though the Tokyo raid is historically accurate, it doesn’t

mean it has a place in this story. Danny should die in some heroic act (saving

Rafe maybe) and Rafe and Evelyn need to be there with him when he dies. This

would also make the Pearl Harbor attack organic to the main line of the story. As

it is now, even the attack on Pearl Harbor is secondary to the personal story

being told. Yes, it’s tragic, and horrible, and grizzly but it has no natural

connection to the three lovers. By having Danny die at Pearl Harbor the story


will find a unity it is lacking now, and the attack will take on a personal tone for

Rafe and Evelyn (and Danny!) that will help to solidify the entire dramatic line of

the story. It will also eliminate 30 unnecessary pages and shorten the movie, for

the better. In this case, less is definitely more.

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