Dealing with Peer Pressure

Raj and Mayank are best friends. While Mayank is shy, Raj is very popular among all. Raj keeps compelling Mayank to share a cigarette because it’s fun to smoke. Mayank knows that smoking is a bad habit and is not good for health. However, he does not want to lose his friendship with Raj. Moreover, he would also like to become popular like Raj. Mayank was not able to say “NO” to his friend. So, he started Smoking too.

Anu is a jovial and fun-loving girl. All her friends were on Facebook and they were forcing her to join them. Anu created an account on Facebook. So she could chat with her friends all day long. Soon she got so addicted to Facebook that she was not devoting any time for her studies. Ultimately, she failed in her class.

Have you ever felt like Mayank and Anu? If yes, then you are facing Peer pressure.

What is Peer Pressure?

Pressure is the feeling that you are being pushed toward making a certain choice—good or bad A Peer is someone in your own age group. Peer pressure is—you guessed it—the feeling that someone your own age is pushing you toward making a certain choice, good or bad.

Bad Peer Pressure Good Peer Pressure

Is often dangerous and against school rules, home rules and personal values

Is often overlooked but does exist and may be described as an influence to do what is right

Skipping school Vandalizing Smoking/ Alcoholism Sneaking out of the house Bullying Disrespecting authority Stealing

Studying Volunteering/helping Being respectful Befriending someone Community Service Being honest Learning a skill together (Art, Dance, Singing etc)

All of us go through peer pressure at one time or another. What is important to know is am I prone to Peer Pressure?

If you lack Confidence If you have Poor self esteem If you are Uncertain about your

importance If you do not have any personal interest If you do not value your own opinion If you feel alone and isolated from

peers and/or family If you lack of direction in life If you feel sad and depressed If you are not concerned about your academic performance

If you possess such traits, then there is a 95% chance that you are at a higher risk of succumbing to Bad Peer Pressure. Everyone gives in to pressure at one time or another, but why do people sometimes do things that they really don’t want to do? Here are a few reasons.

They:

are afraid of being rejected by others want to be liked and don’t want to lose a friend want to appear grown up don’t want to be made fun of don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings aren’t sure of what they really want don’t know how to get out of the situation don’t know how to say ”No”

How do Peers pressurize?

Peers pressurize in two ways- Spoken and Unspoken.

Spoken

Unspoken

Spoken pressure-

Sometimes a friend can say something directly to you that puts a lot of pressure on you and makes it hard to say no. This is Spoken pressure. Peers may try to put you down with Words like “Kid”, “Loser” or they may Reason it out by telling you that “Nobody will know about it”, “It won’t hurt you”, “You will have more fun”.

They may call you with different names or try to insult you

Hey, Will you join us for a movie tonight? 

Err…But I have to complete my assignments..!! 

Hey…don’t act like a kid..! We will have loads of fun. You can do 

your work later. 

 But…

Unspoken pressure-

You may think you are supposed to act or dress a certain way because it seems like everyone else is doing it, or because it’s the cool thing to do. Sometimes you feel this way even though nobody has said anything about it. This is Unspoken Pressure. Peers may convey through a Look, Laugh, Pointing with gestures or by sudden ignorance which can be interpreted in various ways.

Bag of Tricks: How to Overcome Bad Peer Pressure?

Hang out with people who feel the same way as you do Be friends with those who share your viewpoint Make your own decisions, regardless of

what others think Be confident Stand straight, make eye contact and keep

your voice firm Make a joke and change the subject Suggest a different activity Learn to feel comfortable saying "no." Listen to your gut If a situation seems dangerous, don't

hesitate to get an adult's help Leave the area

Are they laughing

about my

dress….?? I should

also have dressed

Do share with us your own story of good peer pressure, you and your friends have used it to help each other.

Ankita Juneja, Senior Executive Officer(Adolescent Education Programme), NIOS

My story of good Peer Pressure

Name Age Sex NIOS Learner: Yes/No

Email your story at aep.nios@gmail.com

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