Anna,

Defense PaperAlthough your introductory paragraph is informative, I was catching myself continuing to wonder how this paper was going to develop. Reading the first paragraph causes me to believe that the paper is going to be more about finding credible sources rather than the differences between generic and name brand medications. In order to build a more sophisticated introduction, you should include a well defined, yet concise thesis statement that provides a foundation of what the rest of the paper will talk about. By reading what appears to be your thesis statement, “When discussing the difference between generic and name brand medications, journals created by medical experts and scholars are the best ways to gain an understanding of what is actually true,” it seems as though there is more emphasis placed on the best ways to gain information rather than the differences between generic and name brand medications. I would focus more around this possible thesis statement: Name brand and generic medications do not have obvious differences in their results; the major differences arise from a financial perspective. This is a rough statement, but I am trying to shed light on how to start your paper with more organization.

I really liked your introductory statement for your second paragraph. After reading it, it was easy to understand where you were taking this next paragraph. As the second paragraph unraveled, there was lots of sophisticated information being presented, with only one integrated quote. I think it will make your paper stronger if you utilized more scholarly sources throughout this second paragraph. Not only will it help with the credibility of your statements, but it will also make your message sound well informed.

Your third paragraph is definitely your strongest paragraph in your paper thus far. You include a clearly defined introduction statement and follow with a message that aligns with the first statement. Unlike the second paragraph, you included credibility of your message by using information in other scholarly sources. I am a big fan of utilizing anecdotes to more effectively portray a message. The anecdote about the 14-year-old boy was very effective in getting your point across. Continue to develop the rest of your paper similar to the format you used for the third paragraph. Before continuing anything though, work on creating a clearly defined thesis. This will make the rest of your paper a lot less stressful.