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In the third grade at age 9, I couldn’t read.

I didn’t know I couldn’t read.

I had attended three schools by the third-grade. My father was in the food business and he specialized in opening properties. We began each year with him overseeingthe completion of the new construction; then hiring the kitchen staff and training the wait staff, then opening day and three months of shake-out, then on to the nextproperty.

I was the only child at home, my mother had died of cancer 4 years earlier; my father was at work in the food business and my step-mother and I were estranged.

Looking back, it must have been during the reading aloud in class that my teacher,

Mrs. Sharkey discovered my reading struggles. So Mrs. Sharkey called an audibleand our class shifted to private individual reading with her and a group reading timewhen Mrs. Sharkey read out loud to the class.

To this day, I remember Mrs. Sharkey reading my favorite book--My Father’s Dragon where tangerines became the substance for the hero’s surviv al. Each day as Mrs.Sharkey read another chapter she would give us a tangerine to hold until she finished the chapter then we could eat our tangerine.

As Mrs. Sharkey read, I looked over her shoulder as she made the words come to life, complete with a juicy tangerine payoff. One day Mrs. Sharkey asked me if Iwouldlike to go to ‘college’. She said that I had been selected to participate in a graduate student workshop.

My future would never be the same.

Mrs. Sharkey even arranged for someone to drive me to the class at the University of Delaware. The other five workshop participants were candidates for their doctoral of education in challenged learning.

They invited me in as a co-participant and not t he subject of the workshop. Amazingly as we all read Dick & Jane and other read aloud books, reading becam e easier for me. Mrs. Sharkey made my development personal to her.

Because of Mrs. Sharkey: My Life was changing.

Many of us have been blessed to have had development advocates in our lives; someone who made our development, personal to them: a teacher, a coach, a manager, arelative, or a friend.

There comes a time when the class room is behind us and the one who owns our personal development is us.

“If it is to be, it is up to me” is not a slogan but reality.

As an executive coach, I coach clients as they become the owners of their personal development. Our company slogan is “Helping Leaders Navigate Change.”

“Life itself is about change.”

Some see the senior executive position as the finish line, and yet others believe that “If you are not growing, you’re dying”.

For my clients growth becomes their option, their choice.

Over time I have developed a toolkit of personal development skills. Today, I would like to open the toolkit and share three tools we use to help navigate change andpersonal development. These three are my Triad for Change.

1. EXAMENOTE- Examenote is my blending of journaling and the Jesuit practice of reflection.

At the beginning of each coaching session, we must begin with ‘where are we?’ and ‘what is going on?’

Seems simple but often we are so busy coping, managing or leading that we don’t have time to go up on the balcony and see the moment. The daily examenote practicehas a limit of 5 to 10 minutes.

Journaling, putting pen to paper, can be a great tool but if untrained it becomes too time consuming, fuzzy and not actionable.

As you review yesterday’s calendar you make a quick note (does not need to be a s entence) of what went right? What you missed? What you would have donedifferently if you could repeat a day over like the movie Groundhog Day.

Then based on your observations write down ONE thing you will do in the next 24 hours as a follow up. (i.e. make a phone call, send a note, schedule an appointment ,etc.) This is not something you want to do, or hope to do, but something you will do and you have a finish line of tomorrow.

As you begin your next examenote, go back and check off the action step you accomplished or if you were unable to do it this action step will remain your action step. Thekey is about having small successes that are grounded in your awareness.

For example around personal development, you may have an action step which is to enroll in a class or buy a book or set up an appointment.

Now consider the COMPOUND proposition of successful follow through. Think about the cumulative effect of 225 examenote action steps accomplished in a year.

2. HAVING 2 OR 3 IN YOUR LIFE—we all need TRUTH TELLERS—seek out a truth partner or a core group.

Many of you know that Greg, Clyde and others at Learfield have developed such a core group. They are committed to each other to go beyond business to Life. Theyhave become each other’s coach, friend, confidant, board of review and advocate.

Look around. Is there anyone beside your spouse that could do Life with you?

Start with one or two others who will care enough to shoot straight and stick with you.

Go slow. It is about Life and life is a marathon.

The leverage available to each of us to grow through having 2 or 3 others in our lives is one of the most powerful life tools that I have personally experienced. And one of the most often overlooked.

The scriptures capture this thought when it says that “One can chase a thousand, and two can chase ten thousand”

Not a bad return on investment.

A common question that I whisper in my client’s ear is ‘What are you Missing?”

Because we are all missing something. When I see something through the eye of an artist, or a child or my wife, I begin to know that there is more to see then what I amseeing.

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Begin to seek--to find out what--for you, is missing.

A ‘what’s missing?’ tool is the CSS Questions.

3. CSS QUESTIONS—three questions that you can ask truth tellers or your spouse or yourself. They even work for those you work with.

• What is working well for me? What should I CONTINUE?• What should I START doing?• What should I STOP doing? (My experience is that this can be those most challenging question and the most beneficial).

I want to ask you to participate in a 3 minute Speed Development Exercise.

Each of you should have a 3x5 card and pen. I want you to pick up the card and on the left hand side make a column with the letters C S

Now I want to ask you to close your eyes and take 15 seconds for you to capture the first thought that comes to mind about something that you are doing at this point inyour life that is going well. No one will see your card but you.

Think about all aspects of your life: work; family; social; personal development; don’t limit yourself. Once you have a thought just put a word or couple of words thatcaptures what you need to CONTINUE.

Now stop, and close your eyes again and think about something that you are not doing now that you should START.

Again, once you have a thought about START just put a word or couple of words that captures what you need to START.

Times up on continue, now the last word is what is something that y ou are currently doing that you need to STOP? Listen for that still small voic e inside of you saying whatyou need to STOP.

The CSS questions are an excellent prompt to increase self-awareness.

Once a week when you have a few private moments, maybe over a cup of coffee, look back and look ahead.

Consider owning your personal and professional development in the same way that a professional athlete pushes through the pain in practice to reach the next level of competition.

How exceptional if you reversed the tables at your annual employment review and asked your supervisor the CSS questions. Or if you haven’t had a review recently,schedule one and send the CSS questions to them in advance.

Begin seeking the change that leads to growth?

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

Each of you has a Story ‘Up until Now’. Through your choices begin to help create the story of the future you.

Over the next few weeks, I want to invite each of you to reflect on what has been and what will be your personal story.

As you write your story of your future you, consider blending the three tools we discussed this morning:

Taking 5 minutes every date to record your Examenote using the CSS questions to commit to a daily action step. Grounding your personal Examenotes with theperspective of your 2 or 3 truth-tellers who care about you and your success and you care about them and their success.

This triad of change can be used as you consider your personal development in all the spheres of your life: business, family, creativit y, your faith relationships, and manyother threads in the tapestry which is you.

Remember--Life is about Change, Growth is optional, it is your decision, own it.

To not decide is a decision not to act. A decision not to grow.

Choose Wisely and God Speed