perfect practice 2nd ed. - the 12 step buddhist€¦ · and sexual issues. in typical 12-step...
TRANSCRIPT
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DarrenLittlejohn
PerfectPractice2ndEd.
Beginner'sguidetomindfulnesspractice.RelieveanxietyandfindinnerpeacewithBuddhistmeditations.
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FirstpublishedbyRainbowLightMediain2018
Copyright©DarrenLittlejohn,2018
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedortransmittedin
anyformorbyanymeans,electronic,mechanical,photocopying,recording,scanning,or
otherwisewithoutwrittenpermissionfromthepublisher.Itisillegaltocopythisbook,post
ittoawebsite,ordistributeitbyanyothermeanswithoutpermission.
DarrenLittlejohnhasnoresponsibilityforthepersistenceoraccuracyofURLsfor
externalorthird-partyInternetWebsitesreferredtointhispublicationanddoesnot
guaranteethatanycontentonsuchWebsitesis,orwillremain,accurateorappropriate.
Designationsusedbycompaniestodistinguishtheirproductsareoftenclaimedas
trademarks.Allbrandnamesandproductnamesusedinthisbookandonitscoverare
tradenames,servicemarks,trademarksandregisteredtrademarksoftheirrespective
owners.Thepublishersandthebookarenotassociatedwithanyproductorvendor
mentionedinthisbook.Noneofthecompaniesreferencedwithinthebookhaveendorsed
thebook.
Thisbookisnotintendedtobeasubstituteforthemedicaladviceofalicensedphysician.
Thereadershouldconsultwiththeirdoctorinanymattersrelatingtohis/herhealth.The
authorhasmadeeveryefforttoensurethattheaccuracyoftheinformationwithinthis
bookwascorrectattimeofpublication.Theauthordoesnotassumeandherebydisclaims
anyliabilitytoanypartyforanyloss,damage,ordisruptioncausedbyerrorsoromissions,
whethersucherrorsoromissionsresultfromaccident,negligence,oranyothercause.
Secondedition
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Contents
Welcome
ForewordtotheSecondEdition
Introduction
SpiritualMaintenance:12-StepStyle
EnlightenThis!
TheSixPerfections
PerfectPractice
MindfulnessofRefuge
MindfulnessofGenerosity
MindfulnessofEthicalDiscipline
MindfulnessofPatience
MindfulnessofDiligence
MindfulnessofSinglePointedConcentration
MindfulnessofWisdom
ClosingMeditation
Conclusion
PleaseReview
ThankYou
Resources
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FreeSample:TheYogaofSelfCompassion
HowitWorks:Practice
FreeSample:12-StepBuddhist
Acknowledgments
Dedication
Copyrights
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Welcome
Thankyouforreadingthisbook.Pleaseshareitwithothers.
AlsobyDarrenLittlejohnThe12-StepBuddhistTheYogaofTransformationSeriesBookI:TheYogaofSelfCompassionBookII:TheYogaofLettingGoBookIII:TheYogaofBeingaBadass(inprogress)ThePowerofVow(Kindle,Print,Audio)HowtoGainNothingfromBuddhistPractice(Kindle,Print,Audio)
VisitDarren’sAmazonAuthorPagehere.
GetFutureBooksforFree
Signuptomybookmailinglistatthe12stepbuddhist.comtobenotifiedwhenotherupcomingbooksinthisseriesareavailable,andyou’llhavetheopportunitytogetanAdvanceReaderCopy forFREEbefore they launch!You’ll alsogetoccasionaloffersonrelatedbooksandresources.
Can I askyoua favor?Canyou share the link to thisbookonSocialMedia?ThatwouldbesuperhelpfulandwillhelpothersfindsomeSelfCompassion.
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Pleasebuyacopyforsomeoneyoulove.It’seasytoemailittotheminstantlyontheKindlestore!
It’scheaperthanacupofcoffee.
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W
ForewordtotheSecondEdition
elcome to the second editionofPerfectPractice. I firstwrote this in 2012basedonour12-StepBuddhistretreatsinOregon.It’snowlate2018andit
seemedagoodtimeforanupdate.I’mabetterwriternow,andhaveaccumulatedthousandsofhoursteachingyogaandmeditation,aswellasmyownongoingstudyand practice. I’ve added a considerable amount of new content, including newpractices, and reformatted the structure. I rewrote some things for clarity andcorrectedmistakes.
The biggest difference in this edition is that the whole book is focused onmindfulnesspracticeforbeginners.I’vebeenatthissincethemid80sandconsidermyselfabeginner.Ifyou’vealsobeenaroundforawhile,giveitago.
If it’s true that we manifest what we think about, then we might as wellcapitalize on that idea and learn to be mindful of the Noble Qualities of TheBuddha,someofwhichareknownastheSixPerfections.Therearehundredsandhundredsofbooksonmindfulnessonthemarket,butfewthatfocusontheoriginalintentofmindfulness.
Sincethetimeofthefirstwriting,anotherrecoveryoption,RefugeRecoveryhasemerged.Unfortunately,NoahLevine,thefounderofAgainsttheStream,DharmaPunx and Refuge Recovery, has been accused of multiple instances of sexualmisconductbyemployees,peersandstaffofhisorganizations.Imakenoclaimsasto guilt or innocence, but I do know for a fact that many people have been
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traumatizedoverit.ATSisclosingitsdoors,andalotofhurtmembersarelookingforanothercommunity.
Toaddresstheissuesofwhathappenswithspiritualteachersandcommunities,IdidaseriesofpodcastsonthetopicsoftheBuddhistLayVows,otherwiseknownastheFivePrecepts.Youcan listentothecommentaryandsomeinterviewswithvery interesting people on iTunes, Spotify or at the12stepbuddhist.com for free.LookforwardtopodcastsoneachoftheSixPerfectionsinthisbookaswell.
IalsowroteawholebookonBuddhistEthicscalled,ThePowerofVow,whichisavailableonAmazon.Forthosewhodidn’treadthatlongerwork,Iexcerptedsomeof it and wrote a new book called How to Find a Spiritual Teacher. That eBookdirectly addresses the issues and concerns of finding teachers, the differencesbetween teachers and real gurus and how to be a good consumer of spiritualmaterials,withoutbeingaspiritualmaterialist.
Ihopethatyoufindthisuseful.Ifso,pleaseleaveareviewonAmazon.Likeandshare!Likeandshare!
Namaste,
-d
DarrenLittlejohnSanDiegoFall2018
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T
Introduction
hiseBook ismeant forbeginners. Ifyou’renewtomindfulness,meditation,Buddhist ideas or recovery, you’re in the right place. If you’re a veteran
practitioner,I’mconfidentthatyouaswellwillfindvalueinthesepages.Whilethebookisbasedonmyexperiencesinrecoveryfromaddictions,anyone
canuse it. I’ve saidmany times that ifyouunderstandaddiction,youunderstandBuddhism. That’s because the essence of suffering is attachment. Addiction isattachmentgonewild.Ifyou’vesufferedfromaddiction,youdon’thavetomeditatefortherestofyourlifetounderstandattachment.AswesayinAA,you’vealreadydonetheresearch.
If you’re not Buddhist or an addict? You can learn a lot about both fromworking with the material presented here. This eBook is based on fundamentalBuddhistteachingsthatareinthemselvesaself-containedpathtoenlightenment.
Weallsuffer.Wecanallbenefitfromthesetools;meditation,analysis,writing,goal setting, voice dialogs. If you’re reading this, there’s a reason. There are nocoincidences.Youdon’thavetojoinagrouporpayanydues.Youcantryoutthematerialhereandseewhatworksforyou.Takewhatyouwant,leavetherest.
All of that said, this work is at it’s most powerful as a supplement to atraditional recovery program. For addicts who are actively struggling withaddiction,yourrecoverywillworkbetterifyoualsodo12-StepsuchasAlcoholicsAnonymous,NarcoticsAnonymousorCocaineAnonymous.Hundreds of 12-Step
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programsexisttotreatmanyformsofaddictionfromfoodtosextogamblingandmore.
InthiseBookweuseprinciplesfromthelastthreeoftheoriginal12steps.WealsotrynewAspectsofSelfvoicedialogpractices.Ifyouhaven’tdone12-Step,youcanstilllearnsomethingherethatwillhelpyouunderstandSteps10,11and12.
Using these practices certainly doesn’t conflict with any existing treatmentmodelsthatI’mfamiliarwith.Ifyougotothoseprograms,they’relikelytoadviseyoutoworkittheirway.That’sfine,andunderstandable.Butinthe35yearsI’vebeendoingthiswork,it’sclearthatatraditionalapproachisnotappealingformanypeople.Frommyperspective,anythingthathelpswithaddictionisbeneficial.Toomanypeoplediedaily.
Oneof themaincomplaints thatI’veheldandheardfrommanywhowanttorecoveristhat12-Stepprogramscanbeprettyrigid.It’s importanttounderstandthat a fundamentalist approach isn’t everyone’s idea of good sobriety. For thisreason, I no longer insist that peoplewho askme for help become full-time 12-Steppers.While I still participate in 12-Step, I respect the feelings of those whomightnotlikeit.Infact,theyseemtobethemajority.AndnowwedohavemorewidespreadunderstandingofBuddhistthoughtasitpertainstorecovery,basedonmyworkandthatofpeoplelikeKevinGriffin.
Myapproachisunique,inthatIcomefromaplaceofhavingrelapsedwithlongterm sobriety at one point, a lifelong struggle with depression, integration ofdifferent Buddhist schools such as Japanese Zen and Tibetan Vajrayana, andpsychotherapy-includingtheAspectsofSelfdialogprocess.
TheSixPerfectionpracticescontainedherewere introducedinearlierworks,but is deepened and expanded upon. There is so much written material inBuddhism that it really can’t all be learned by one person on one lifetime. Myteacher has always said that for this reason, we need to learn to understand theessenceofspiritualteachings.
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Our work here also represents a different context of meditation, study andapplication. New principles are introduced, namely techniques from DialecticalBehaviorTherapy (DBT). In the years ofworkwith local andnational groups aswellasourtwiceannualretreats,Ihadlearnedalot.Sincethen,I’vewrittenseveralmore books and have added Power Yoga to my repertoire. The yoga really hasbecome my main tool for meditation, spirituality and recovery. It’s a source ofendless fascination tome how all of these things can be interwoven together toformanawesomeprogramforhealingandself-empowerment.
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I
SpiritualMaintenance:12-StepStyle
na12-Stepprogramofrecovery,afteranaddicthasworkedthefirstninesteps,it’s suggested he or she practice the last three steps as an ongoing recovery
maintenance program. I’ve adapted these slightly from the original versionpublishedbyAAinthe1930s.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong,
promptlyadmittedit.
Inthisstepwe’reaskedtocontinuetheprocessofself-examinationthatwebeganwith Step 4 where we conducted a “fearless and searching moral inventory” ofourselves.Thisprocessgenerallybeginswithaprimaryfocusonresentment, fearandsexualissues.Intypical12-Stepculture,thecontinuationofself-inventorythatiscalledforinStep10isoftenlimitedtotheseissues.
However, I’ve found that long term therapy, deep meditation and otherchallenging practices; yoga, cardio, climbing are very useful tools in the self-examinationprocess.Whenwepushtheedgealittle,wegettoseewhatwe’remadeof.That’sself-examinationinmybook!
Aswe’llseefurtheron,theBuddhistpracticeoftheSixPerfectionscanprovideessential insights intoourmotivations,andsetusonapathtowardmorepositiveandhealthybehaviors.Theseactivitiesimpactourfeelingsaboutourselvesaswellasourrelationshipswithothers,whichinturncyclebacktohowwefeel.
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Step11:Soughtthroughprayerandmeditationtoimproveourconsciouscontact
withahigherpowerorspiritualfeeling…prayingonlyforknowledgeofit’swillfor
us(orthechoiceofahigherprinciple)andthepowertocarrythatout.
Meditation isoftenoverlooked in12-Stepgroups.But though in thepastdecadetherehasbeen ahuge increase in12-Step andothermeetingswith at a focusonmeditation.TherearealsomanyBuddhist-orientedandcrossovergroupsintheUSandabroadthathaveformedsincetheearlyideasofBuddhistRecovery.
TheBuddhawasamasterofmeditation.Forthisreason,thepracticesfoundinthe plethora of Buddhist texts from various traditions are a treasure trove ofmethodsthatcanbeintegratedwitharecoveryorgeneralwellnessprogram.
Step12:Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedto
carrythismessagetoaddictswhostillsufferandtopracticetheseprinciplesinall
ofouraffairs.
The 12th Step really is a power packed combination of all of the precedingprinciplesin12-Stepliterature.AsIsaidinearlierworks,thisstepisverymuchinlinewiththeBodhisattvaVow,whichistoendsufferingforallbeings.Inthe12-Step world, spiritual awakenings can be described as anything from a feeling ofsubtleawarenesstoaprofound,“whitelight”experience.Thelatterarerare.Mostofushavewhatarecalledexperiencesofthe“educationalvariety.”Thesearemuchslower,gradualawakenings.Thebottomlineinrecoveryisthatwewakeuptothefact thatwe’re addicts and that recovery ispossible.But in recoverymostpeopledon’t proclaim to be spiritually enlightened, at least not publicly. This is a bigdifferencebetweenBuddhistandrecoverycommunities.
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I
EnlightenThis!
nthetypical12-Stepcommunityyou’llget laughedat ifyoutalktooseriouslyaboutbecomingenlightened.You’relikelytogetflippedoffandtold,“Ohyeah,
enlightenthisasshole!”
SowhatdoesitmeantobeaBuddha,AwakenedOne?
InBuddhismthereisalotmysterysurroundingthistopic.Partofitisbecauseit’sreallyanunspoken,wordlessstateofbeing.Teacherswhohavejuicejustemanate.Youknowenlightenmentwhenyoumeet it.But if you’re just startingout, buyerbeware.Yes,youareabuyer.You’rebuyingintoaculture,setofvalues,practicesand belief system. This applies to everything from a romantic relationship to anAgainst the Stream or other spiritual group. The world is literally a vastmarketplaceofbuyersandsellersofideas.Whetheryou’retryingtoconvinceacopnottowriteyouaticketoryourhusbandtoletyougodancingwiththegirls,you’reselling something. Keep that in mind when you encounter spiritual groups andteachers.Askyourself,whataretheysellingandwhatareyouwillingtobuy?
If anyone claims tobe enlightened, run. If someone’s student claim that theirteacher is enlightened, be very careful. I personally feel that His Holiness DalaiLama is a PerfectlyCompletedBuddha, as domany of his followers all over theworld.Buthe’dneversaythat.ButyoucanseeyourdogastheBuddhaandreceiveteachingsonunconditionallove.Thehardandfastruleisthatthere’snohardand
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fastrule.Discernment isyourbest friend.Thepracticeof theSixPerfectionswillhelpoutalot.
Inmy experience,with addicts there’s no standard of behavior, but if there’sstrongsponsorshipandagoodgroupdynamic,the12Stepsarethebestguidelineswehave.Butthebarforenlightenmentisn’tsetbeyondbeingsoberanddoingourbesttolivebytheprinciplesofthesteps.
ThisiswhereIfeelthatthenormalmentalityinrecoveryismissingsomething.Butit’sahardargumenttodebateinmeetingswhenmanypeoplearestrugglingtojustmake it through another sober day. In fact, thosewho openly participate inenlightenment teachings may be the subject of fear and criticism in 12-Stepcommunities, even now. It depends on the local meeting culture, but generallyspeaking it’s not appropriate to talk about becoming Buddha by practicingsomething called “perfections” at the local noonmeeting at the churchdown thestreet.
I’ve learned the hardway to try and keepmymouth shut about these thingswhen I’m in traditional meetings. It’s different in Buddhist recovery groups,Dharmacentersandyogacommunities.Ofcourse,therealrecoveryhappensatthedinerafterthemeeting,whereI’vehadalotofverycoolspiritualdiscussions.Wealwayscalledthesethe“meetingafterthemeeting.”
In Buddhism, we don’t always have the same limitations. But if we don’tunderstand the differences between the various levels of Buddhist teachings, wemight repeat something that we heard for example in a Tibetan teaching at aTheravadagatheringandgetsomestrangelooks.It’simportanttostudyandrespectthedifferentviewsofdifferentschools,bothinandoutofBuddhismoranyotherspiritualtradition.
Mybestadvicefornewpeopleiskeepyoureyesopen.
Mindfulnessmeanstobemindfulofeverything.
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Asyoupracticeyou’llslowlydevelopyourabilitytodiscernbetweengoodenergyand scams.Aswe say inAA, youneed to put yourown spiritual house in order.Thenyoucanstarttoseetheforestthroughthetrees.
InZenforexample,wenevertalkedmuchaboutPerfectlyCompletedBuddhas.But itdoesn’t takemuchresearchintoBuddhist texts tofindthesewords. I thinksome of these things frankly scare American students of the Dharma, spiritualteaching.
Although there’s a lot of variation in view, philosophy and practice betweendifferent schools of Buddhism, anything that a Buddhist teachers instructs leadsessentiallytothefullyawakenedstate.Thatmeanswhetherwe’reabeginneroraseasoned practitioner, the end goal is to manifest our consciousness as theomnipotent, omnipresent state of the Buddha. Yet in some Buddhist circles“enlightenment”isadirtyword,asifwe’renotevensupposedtoknowaboutit.Butin others, the higher schools, it’s established that enlightenment is the essentialreasontobeonapathatall.
SoareBuddhistteachersenlightened?
Enlightenment happens in the form of spiritual realizations, sometimes calledsiddhis.Theyhappeninlevelsandthelevelsareprettydeep.Itisveryeasytothinkthat because we have a little epiphany that we’re God now. If that’s happening,here’sanewsflash:you’renot.
As I mentioned, anyone who would say they’re enlightened probably isn’t.They’reprobably a bit off if they talk like that.But there’s a flip side. InTibetanVajrayanaBuddhismforexample,we’retaughttopracticepurevision.whereweseethe teacher, and all beings really, as fully enlightened—nomatter what they do.That’sbeenaprettybigchallengeforusWesterners.AsIsaidearlier,someteachersact badly. This isn’t ancient India. Therewas no #metoomovement in Buddha’s
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time.Parentsdidn’tgotojailforspankingtheirkids.Gurusdidn’tgetsued.Peoplecouldononehandgetawaywithalotofthingsthatwon’tbetoleratedtoday.Onanother,thewaystostretchanddissolvetheegoaredifferentnowandneedtobemodifiedtomeetourcultureandorientation.Wecanstillpracticepurevisionifwearefollowingthatsystemofteaching.Butwedon’thaveto letourselvesbetakenadvantageof.
Fromanormalperspective,badbehaviorcanlookprettybad.Butfromapureview,itwouldbenegativeforustocriticizetheteacherorretaliateifthecrossedaline.Wewouldjustdisengageandmoveontosomeoneelseiftherewereproblems.It’s easy to see how this can open the door to spiritual abuse. So the Buddhistteachingshavetobeapplieddifferentlyinourcontext,timeandplace.
Sohowcanweknowwhototrust?MyoldAAsponsorgavethisadvicewhenitcametowonderingwhototrust.Hesaid,“Watchtheirfeet.”AnygoodAAsponsor,therapist,sobercoach,Buddhistteacher,yogainstructororotherteacherisgoingtowalkwhattheytalk.Anotherthingwesayinrecoveryistotrustyourgut.Ifitlookslike a cult, smells like a cult and the teacher is sleeping with the students anddrivingaRollsRoyce,maybe it’s timetomoveon.Regardlessofhowperfectourteachersmayormaynotbe,westillhavewaystopracticetheview,meditationandconductof enlightenedbeings.That’s kindof an angleonpure vision and is onewaytopracticemindfulness.
Practice:ThisisaPureLand
Togetatasteofwhatit’sliketopracticepurevision,writeyourselfashortscriptandmemorizeit.Inthescript,answersomequestionslikethese.Feelfreetomakeupyourownorgetideasfrombooks.
WhatwouldtheworldlooklikeifIsaweverylivingbeingasjustlikeme?HowwouldIfeelifIsawtheBuddhanatureofallbeingsthatIencountered?
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Iftheworldweretosuddenlyrevealitselfasamatrixofsignsandsymbols,howwoulditfeeltome?WhatifeverysinglepersonIsawhadapureheartandakindsoulandIknewthatdeepinmycore?Whatiftherewereawaytoseeeventheuglyasbeautiful?HowwouldIfeelifIknewthateveryoneisreallydoingtheirbest,eveniftheycausemeharm?AreallthosebeingsreallyBuddhasindisguise?Ifso,howwouldItreatthem?Fromarecoveryperspective,wemightsaythateveryoneisoneofGod’skids,andGoddon’tmakejunk.
Isthiskindofpracticeasetuptofail?
Yes.It’sasetupfortheegotofailandfortheenlightenedstatetoprevail.Thiskindofworkhasitsrisks.
In the 12 Steps,we’re taught to seek progress, not perfection. InBuddhism, our
mindfulnesspracticeisprogresstowardsperfection.
But what is the progress that 12-Step is guiding us to? Progress towards what?Relative happiness. Buddhism teaches a path to absolute happiness. The recoveryliteraturetalksabouthavinggoodrelations,livingalifeofrigoroushonesty,beingof service.But it doesn’t touch the subject ofTotal Liberation fromall suffering.ThisisthemainpointofBuddha’steachings.That’swhyhesaid,“Lifeissuffering.”
ThiswasthefirstoftheFourNobleTruths.Translationsvarybutthepointisthat desire leads to attachment and attachment leads to suffering. Addiction, orextremeattachment,leadstoextremesuffering.Whatwethinkmakesushappyisonlytemporary.TheBuddhistteachingonthis iscalledImpermanence.InAAwesay,“Thistooshallpass.”
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Practice:MindfulnessofImpermanence
Mindfulness practice isn’t just something you do sitting on a cushion. In thispractice,keepa journalofhowthingslookandfeelpermanent, likethey’llalwaysbethewaytheyare.Writedowneverythingthatseemslikeitneverchanges;yourluck,taxes,politicians.Anyfeeling,institution,condition,principleorcircumstancethatfeelslikeit’sforevershouldmakeyourlist.Makespreadsheetoftheseitems.Besuretoadddates.Revisitthislistonceamonthforayear.Twoyears.Moreyears.Noticechange.Howdothingsthatappeartoberealandtrueandpermanentshifttosomethingelse?Eventhoughthisisa long-termpractice,you’llbegintonoticeimpermanencerightaway.
Bemindfulofimpermanence.ItistheykeytoBuddha’steaching.
Thereisapossibilitytobefullyfree,forever,fromallsuffering.ThisisthemainpointoftheBuddha’sappearanceonEarth.Ouractions,intentionsandfeelingsarethe causes for suffering. Our actions, intentions and feelings can be changed tobecome causes for happiness. But the goal isn’t relative, short lived happiness. Ifshort term happiness were enough, we could just drink and use drugs andattachment until we were done up. The freedom that the Dharma shows us isBuddha-level freedom—not just get through the day sober freedom. It’s important tounderstandthisdifference.
InChristianity,we’retoldthatwe’llneverbeperfect.We’resinnersandthat’sthe
endofit.Ifwe’reluckysomeonemayletusintoHeaven.IntheDharma,we’renot
asked to be perfect. But we’re taught that we can do Perfect Practice, or the
Practice of the Perfections that we may realize our own perfection or Buddha
nature.
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TheinstructionsofPerfectPracticearetopracticetheperfectionsorqualitiesofaPerfectedBuddha.Weputour feet first.Wesaysomethingsimilar inrecovery inregardstolearningtheprogram.Wetellnewcomers,“Bringyourbodies,yourheadwillfollow.”Ithinkofthepracticeoftheperfectionsinasimilarway.Wealignourattitudetotheprinciples,useourmindfulmeditationtodeepenourinsight,andwetrytowalkthewalkoftheBuddha.Simple,butnoteasy!
Someofthesequalitiesthatwe’rereferringtoareknownastheSixParamitas,
perfections.SomebookstalkaboutTenParamitasbutherewedealwithsix.
GenerosityEthicaldisciplinePatienceDiligenceMeditativeconcentration(singlepointedconcentration)PerfectionofWisdom(knowledgeoftherealcondition).
The senseof thismindfulnesspractice isnot thatwe’re trying tohold thebar sohighthatwebeatourselvesupforneverbeingabletomeetunrealexpectations—aproblemthatisinherentintheaddictivepersonality—weareaskedtoconsider,andworktowardstheseNobleQualitiesofaFullyEnlightenedBuddha.
InvariousformsofBuddhismwesaythatallconsciousbeingshaveatleastthepotentialtobecomeBuddhas.It’shelpfultounderstandwhatthemeasureofthesequalities is like. Our normal understanding of characteristics like patience forexample, is relative and limited. We learn to contemplate the Perfect State ofBuddha in something of a development stage towards a perfected stage. This isprogresstowardsperfection.
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T
TheSixPerfections
heperfectionswerederivedfromthesecondturningofthewheelofDharmaseveral hundred years after the historical ShakyamuniBuddha passed. This
version of Buddhism took the view of the Bodhisattva path, which aims to freeoneself for the benefit of all beings, while earlier Buddhist practice focused onindividualsalvation.It’snotimportantheretogointomuchofahistoricalcontextfor the practice of the perfections because a multitude of resources exist. Iencourageyoutoseekthemout.Inshorttheperfectionsare:
GenerosityEthicalDisciplinePatienceDiligenceSinglePointedConcentrationWisdom
ThemostimportantthingIcansayabouttheseprinciplesisthatit’scriticaltoworkthem intoour lives. I feel that theway it’s laidout in thispresentation isuniquebecause it’s designed to use tools from 12-Step recovery hand-in-hand withDharmateachings.AsimplerformofthiseBookwasusedforoneofourbiannual12-Step Buddhist retreats. It proved to be an excellent source of inspiration forBuddhistRecoverypractitioners.
I’vemodified and expanded the explanations andmethods so thatanyonecan
usethem.Theretreatwasthesixththatwe’veheldupatBreitenbushHotSprings.
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Weusedadifferentsetofpracticesandanewthemeforeachretreat.We’veworkedon Buddhist Refuge, Masculine-Feminine energy, Shamanism, Yoga and BreathWork, amongother topics. I spent five yearsworkingwith the Portland 12-StepBuddhistgrouptobringthemuptospeedonbasicBuddhisttopicssuchastheFourNobleTruths.To that end, Iwanted tooffer somethingdifferent for this retreat.The practice of the paramitas came up as something that could be accessible toanyonebutspecificallyapplicabletopeopleinrecovery.
I realized before starting this retreat that a teacher at the San FranciscoZenCenterhadputoutapamphleton theSixPerfectionsas theyrelated to recoveryfromhisperspective.He’dgivenmeacopyofitseveralyearsago.ItwasfineworkbutIwantedtocreatesomethingmorealive,moredynamicandinteractive.SinceIcouldn’t find that pamphlet, I consulted someDharma books frommy library ofMahayanateachingsoncompassionandwisdom.Withthewisdomofmyteachersinhand,Isetouttoexplorethetopicwiththegroupwithsomeabasicoutlinetoworkfrom.Thatoutlinewasahandoutofafewpagesthatparticipantsweregivenat the beginning of the retreat. Over five sessions of about two hours each, weworkedthroughthebackground,explanationsandpractices.
Maythemostpeoplebenefit.
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W
PerfectPractice
hat followsare thepracticeskills thatwecanacquireanddeveloponourpathofmindfulness.Wecanpracticemeditation,analysisandtheAspects
of Self voice Dialogs separately or together in any order we choose. The skillsacquiredintheseandothersittingmeditationsinfluenceourthinkingandfeelingprocessesaswezero inonprinciplesandactionsgearedtobringaboutresults inourlives.
Meditation
Weusemanypracticesinthisbook.Themainpracticethatyoushouldtrytostartdoingrightawayistositstill.Practicethisfrom5-20minutesatleastoncebutupto several times per day. How do you sit? Find a comfortable position with astraightback.Allowyoureyestosoften.Pullyourgazebackhalfwaybetweenyournoseand thewallor floor in frontofyou.Noticeyourbody.Feel thesensations.Noticeyourbreath,inandout,naturally.Letyourthoughtsfloatbylikecloudsinthesky.
Ihaveazillionrecordedvariationsofthisfromyearsofyogaclassesandhavestarted adding them to a secret page for my readers and podcast listeners atthe12stepbuddhist.com.Gitit.
Another, more skillful practice is Single Pointed Concentration. This one iscommon tomany traditions. In theYogaSutras, for example this is oneof threemindfulness practices that are combined to elevate our consciousness tomagical
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heights. See my other books for more yoga stuff. I’ll teach you this one in in amoment.
Analysis
We can sit and meditate on nothing or try to be mindful of something. As wedevelopourpowersofconcentration,wecananalyzethesubtlefluctuationsofthemind better. It takes practice to sit still, then observe, then focus the mind onspecific things.Thatpracticewillhelpyoureadand thinkbetter. Itwillhelpyouarticulateyouremotions,knowwhatyouwantandwhatyoudon’t inplaces likeintimate relationships, business and family, as well as your inner world. Don’tbelievewhattheysayinAA.
Your mind is not your worst enemy. It’s your greatest asset and your only
opportunitytofreeyourselfandtheworldofinfinitesuffering.
Youjusthavetotrainit.Thetoolsinthisbookwillhelpyoudojustthat.
AspectsofSelf-VoiceDialogs
Weareallmadeupofvariousaspectsofourpersonality.Accordingtothefamouspsychiatrist, Carl Jung, there are archetypeswhich are common to everyone butvaryinthewaystheyshowupinourlives.Weallhavealloftheseroles,orhumansoulsoftwaresubroutinesthatcanbedormantforourwholelivesordominateus.Some aspects are helpful. Others operate like a virus. But they’re all part of thewhole.
Tobebalanced,weacknowledgeandvalidateallofourparts.Wecan learntobalancetheseenergiesoutbybringingsomeofthemoutof theshadows, intothelight.
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Thepracticeisprettysimpleinprinciple,butmayseemalittleweirdtotryatfirst.Howdowedo it?Wespeak inthefirstperson inthevoice thatwewant todealwith.Forexample,ifwe’reworkingthiswayastheVoiceofGreed,wesay,
“Iamthevoiceofgreedandmyjobistogetmore!”Insteadofhowwedenythataspectofourselveswithathoughtsuchas,“Well
greed is really bad and I’m not really a greedy person. I know people who aregreedyandthat’sjustnotgood.”
Instead, we own the voice, speaking as the voice. That’s where the magichappens.Thisvoiceforourpurposeisit’sownself.Wespeakofthewholeself,orotheraspectsas if they’resomeoneelse.Does thatmakesense? I’ll spell itout foreach section soyou’llknow justwhat todo.Andof courseyoucanmodify thesepracticestosuityourself.
Thinkofitasactingoutarole.We’veallgotalittleDeNiroinus,right?
Youtalkin’tame?
If you can do this practicewith another person itworks best. But you can do italone.Youjusthavetousealittlecreativeimagination.I’vedoneitmentally.Itcanbe done in a meditation session if your concentration is that strong. Minesometimesis,sometimesisnot.Youcandoitbysettinguptwochairsandjumpingfromonetotheother.Anotheroptionistomakearecordingofyourselfaskingthequestions.Doitinwriting.Askyourtherapist.Don’tfeellikethere’sonlyoneway.It’suptoyoutomakeitwork.
Beforeweasktospeaktoavoice,wewanttobepolite,asifwe’retalkingtoapersonwhonoonehasspokentoinawhileandwhomightbefileldwithshameforexisting,orjustalittleshy.
Createanintentiontobekindtothatvoice.Thensaysomethinglike,“I’dliketospeaktotheVoiceofGreed.IsthatOK?”
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Theninthefirstperson,asthatvoice,wesay,“Yes.IamtheVoiceofGreed.”Thenwevalidate,“BeforeIspeaktowithyou,IwanttosaythatIseeyou,Ihear
you,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtoheard.”At first itmay seemodd,butmostof thepeople I’vedone thiswith fall right
intoit.Trynottotoover-intellectualizetheprocessorrefusetodothevoice.Ifyourun intomajorresistance, that’sprobablyasign thatyoureallyneed topushpastthis limitation.As always, practice selfcompassion.Weworkwithin our abilitiesandcircumstances.Youmayneedalittlehelp,especiallyifyou’retraumatized.Justlike in a yoga practice, we must learn to approach our edge with care anddeterminationtomovealittlebitpastit.
I’vedoneAspectsofSelfpracticemyselfandwiththousandsofpeopleovertheyears. Those who do this work can get a lot of insight from it. Trust me, it’spowerfulpractice.Butitisn’teasy.
Remember, this isdeep shadowwork. It’smeant touncover things thatdon’twant to come to the surface. As we peer into our hearts and minds with anyspiritual or self-empowerment techniques, it’s important to practice self-care.Alwaysuseyoursupportsystems,andacceptwhereyouareinthemoment.Atthesametime,balancethatcontentmentwithwithaefforttomoveforward.
It’s fine ifyouchangetheorderof thesepractices.Youmightreadfirst,writelater,meditatefirst,andthenread.Tryitthewayit’slaidouthere.Butbyallmeansfeelfreetomodifytosuityourselfandyoursituation.Anyofthepracticescanbedoneontheirownaswell.
SinglePointedMeditation
You can think of this meditation as a practice to focus your mind. There aredifferent levels to this and all meditations. On the surface, wemay just want toconcentratebetterorbelessdistracted.Ultimatelythewisdomteachingstellusthatifwetrainourminds togetverycalmandvery focused,wecanbecomemagical,
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enlightened beings with special powers. But those powers aren’t the end goal. I
don’tthinkaboutthesethingstoomuch.It’sjustgoodtoframethecontextofwhatwe’redoing,wherethesepracticescomefromandwhatthelong-termviewsaboutthemare.
Thatsaid,wegainfocus,butfocusisn’ttheendgoal.Wegetacalmmind,butthatisnottheendgoal.Theendgoalistoultimatelybefreeofsufferingandtoleadall beings to that enlightenment.The practice ofmindfulness leads to the deeperstatesof awareness that aBuddhaachieves. If, as abeginner,youdon’t choose tothinkaboutyourmeditationthisway,it’sfine.Justrememberthatasyoulearnanddevelop,therearealwaysnewlessonstomaster.
When we practice we learn to work with our energy at deeper and deeperlevels.Thispracticemaytakeawhiletodevelop,butyoushouldnoticesomethingwithinafewweeksorsooner.Thenit’llwaneandbecomeboring.Butifyoukeepatit,you’llseewhatallthemindfulnesshypeisallabout.
Tobegin,sitwithyourbackstraight.Breathedeeplyandfully.Raiseyourarmsto the sky as you inhale. Lower with your exhale. Let the breath guide yourmovements.Dothisafewtimes,movingveryslowlylikeyou’reswimmingthroughhoney. Allow yourself to settle in. Listen to the sounds around you. Notice thetemperatureof theaironyourskin.Resolve tostaypresentwithout trying to fixanything.Letyourgazesettleonapointinspacebetweenyournoseandthewallorfloor in front of you. It’s fine to lookout at further on the horizon for a deepersenseofspaciousness,buttrytofindapointwhereyoureyescansettle.Whenoureyesbecomestill,ourmindscanchill.Thentheenergycomesintofocus.
Settleyourawarenessnexttoapointonyournosewheretheairenters.Thisisthe
main principle of single pointed concentration. Fix your awareness somewhere
andkeepitthere.
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You’llfindthatitisn’tpossibletoisolateasinglepointbecausepointscanalwaysbebrokendownintosmallerpoints.Staywithageneralsenseofwheretheairentersyour nostrils. Relax your face, your jaw. Focus attention on this point, breathenormally.Ifyoubecomedistractedoragitated,takethreeslow,mindfulbreathsandbeginagain.
Allowyourself to return tomeditationnomatter howmany times you becomedistracted.This isdifficult formostofus.But remember, this is thepracticeof aBuddha.
Usethis,oranothermeditationasapreliminarypracticetotheAspectsofSelf.
SelfandOthers
Bodhisattvawork isoverwhelming.The thoughtof thinkingofotherscanbe toomuch,especiallyforselfishaddictslikeme.Luckily,theteachershavegivenusthegraduatedpathtoawakening.It’ssosimple,amonkeycoulddoit.Butitisnoteasy.Ithastwoparts.
AspirationandApplication
In the aspiration stage, we just cultivate a wish. “What if I could be morecompassionate?”Intheapplicationstage,wetakesomeactions.InAAwesaytodocontraryactions.Thatmeansifwe’reselfish,wepracticeshowingupforothers.
Belowweworkwitheachofthesixperfectionsweshouldunderstandthattopractice theseparamitas,wecanapproach theminstages.Weuseourmeditationandopenmindtoconsidertheexperienceofeachoftheseaspectsofwhoweareasanaspect(self),thentoourwhole(other).WejustpretendthatourAspectofGreedis the self, and the other aspects, such as patience, kindness, generosity, are theothers.Even though they’renot.They’rereallyallyou. It’s justapractice togetalittleinsightbyshiftingourenergy,awarenessandfocus.Doesthatmakesense?
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Itmaybealittleconfusingbutwhatwe’redoingisconsideringthepracticeofthesixperfections,usingmeditationandvoicedialogs,astheypertaintoouraspect,then thewhole self.Thatwouldbe the first stage.Thenwecan takeourpracticeintoawaytohavecompassionforothers.
Thesearetakenfromthepracticesofthebodhisattvas,wholiveforthebenefitofallbeings.Ifwethinkforexample,thatit’simpossibletocareaboutpeoplewedon’tknow.Maybe our own life is filledwith somuch struggle thatwe can’t imagineworryingaboutanyoneelse.Theteachingsofferasolution.Firstweaspire,thenwetakeaction.Inthataspiration,webeginwithourselves.Thenextlevelwouldbetoaspire for others, then take actions for others. It’s pretty simple to think ofcompassion practices this way and it makes the whole bodhisattva business lessoverwhelming.Wegottaworkwithwhatwegot!
Insummarythestagesare:
aspirationforself,followedbyspecificactionsappliedtoourselvesaspirationforothers,followedbyspecificactionsregardingourrelationshipstoothers
Weinquireofourselveswithsomegeneralquestions,suchas,
HowdoInormallyfeelaboutgenerosity?
Whataremylimitations?
HowwouldthisqualitylookinaBuddha,whohasperfectedit?
We considerwhat it would be like to aspire to greater heights than our normalconsideration.Thenwecommit to anaction thatwillhelpusmove towards thatideal.Thewholeprocessisrepeatedforothers.ThispracticemirrorsthestagesofBuddhist teaching thatmove fromenlightenment forourownsake toservice forothers.
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Inthevoicedialogprocess,webeginbyidentifyingtheoppositeprincipletotheonewewanttodealwith.Theoppositeofgenerositymaybesomethinglikegreed,as in the first example. Theway it seems towork is something like tension andrelease.Ifwelookattheoppositeattitude,wegivethatenergysomevalidation.andreleaseitfromhavinganunderlyingforceonourlives—afterall,noonewantstoadmitthatthey’regreedy.
This style of shadowwork enables us to have a good, honest look at what’salreadythere.Fromtherewemoveontothevoiceoftheperfectionwe’redealingwith. Once we bring out the Aspect of Greed, we can more freely speak as theAspectofGenerosity.
Theoverall practice formula looks like this but it’s reallyup to youhowyouwanttoarrangeit.Setyourselfupforsuccessbydoingwhatyoucando,notwhatyouthinkyouhaveto.This typeof formula is typical in theTibetansystems,butI’ve added things to it fromother areas. Sometimes all I cando is 30 seconds ofmindfulnessandthat’sgoingtohavetobegoodenough.OthertimesIcandoafewdays of retreat. It’s best, as my teacher has said many times, to work withcircumstances.
MeditationIntentionWritingActionDialogIntegrationDedication
After our process ofmeditation,writing, action anddialog,we concludewith anintegration meditation. In the integration, the goal is to integrate the practices
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we’vedoneintoourheartsandsoulssowecanlivethepractice.Walkthewalk.Feelme?
IdidsomevoicedialogintegrationpracticeswithaZenmasterhereintheSanDiegoarealastyearwhenIwasgoingthroughahardtime.Itwasverypowerful.
Somepeoplewilltaketooneoranotherofthesepracticesnaturally.Forothersit won’t be so easy. For example, the integration is helpful to give us a sense ofcompletionbeforemovingon.Theworkmaynotbecomplete,butwecancontinuewith a sense of having gained some insight, familiarity and progress inunderstandingourselvesandourrelationshiptotheworld.
Thefirstlevelistopracticeasimplemeditationtocalmthemindandbecomemorefocused.Thenweuseourcalmstateofmeditationtoconsiderhowwemightenvisionourselvesfortheprinciple.Weliterallychangeourbrainswhenwethinkinspiritualterms.Here,weopenourmindsandconsiderpossibilities.Justthisfirstmeditationcanhavepositiveimpact.Rememberthat!
Feel free tousepaper, anotesapponyour smartphoneorwhatevermethodthatyoulikewhenansweringthequestionsinthedialogpractice.ThepracticeofbecomingaBuddhatakestime.Keepajournaltoreflectyourthoughtsandprogressin the long-term.The point of thewriting practice is to be specific and to provide
detailedanswers.
Bethorough.Listyouractionitems.Putthemsomewherethatyouwillbeabletoseethem.Lookatthemoften.Dothethingsthatyoucommitto.
That’showresultshappen.Intheapplicationstagewedecideonanachievablegoalandsetanintentionto
practiceit.Wewritedownourideas.Committingthemtopapermakesthemmore
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tangible.ThisisaninventoryprocessandisrelatedtoStep10.Atanypoint,wecanreturntoourmeditation.Havingconsideredtheprinciple
athandinrelationtoselfandtoothers,weengagewiththeAspectsofSelfduringourdialogprocess.
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R
MindfulnessofRefuge
efuge isn’t something that we do once and be done. It is the ultimatemindfulnesspracticeBeforewebeginwesetourintention.Wewon’tgointo
thetopicofBuddhistRefugehere,asit’sbeendealtwithinpreviousworks.IfwefeelBuddhist,wecansayasimpleBuddhistrefugeprayer:
ItakerefugeintheBuddha,Teacher
ItakerefugeintheDharma,Teaching
ItakerefugeintheSangha,Community
Refugecanbeourintention.IntentioncanbeourRefuge.
WecanaddamoreMahayanastyletoitbyincludingthewishthatthepracticeend suffering forallbeings.Our intentionprayercanbe shortor long, simpleorcomplex, silent or out loud. It’s important to set intention before any spiritualpractice.Theprecisemethodofhowwedo itdependsonwhatweneedand theinstructionsofourteachers.IofferthesesuggestionsbasedonwhatIdomyself.Myteachers say that ifwe vow to become liberated for the benefit of all beings, themeritgeneratedbyourpracticeincreasesenormously.Ifwehaveapicture,statue,altarwecanofferourpalmsatheartcenterandsay,
MayIachieveenlightenmentforthebenefitofallbeings.
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There’smoremeritifwedothiswhilefacingorimaginingaBuddha.Ifdesired,wecanalsooffer light in the formof candles, stringsof lights,oranyother lightform.WecanlightsomeincensetopurifythefireelementandtomakeofferingstothelocalguardiansandDharmaprotectors,ourancientlineageofspiritualteachersandallbenevolentbeings.Aswelighttheincensewemightsay,
MaythepathofDharmabeilluminatedforallbeingswhosuffer.
Thiscanberepeatedbeforeanypractice,orifyoulike,specifybeforethedifferentpracticesoftheperfections.Usetheseormakeupyourown.Aslongasyouhaveanopenheart,it’sallgood.
MayIperfectgenerosityforthebenefitofallbeings.
May I develop the ethical discipline of a Buddha to rid the oceans of samsara of
suffering.
ItismyintentiontopracticebeingaspatientasIcanwithmyselfandothers,forthe
benefitofall.
AsIconcentrate,mymymindbefreeofalldistractionsothatIcanlearnDharmaand
practiceitinmylifeforthebenefitofallbeings.
MytheI,whichisempty,usetheteachingsandpracticesoftheBuddha,whoisempty,
to realize emptinessandperfectperfect compassion for thebenefit ofallbeings,whoare
totallyempty.
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B
MindfulnessofGenerosity
eginwithameditationsession.Choosetheonethatworksforyou.
Fromsimplesharingtoabsoluteselflessness,wepracticegenerositytoachievethequalitiesofaBuddha.Startwhereyouare.Considerwaystopracticegenerosityonphysical,emotionalandmentallevelsforselfandothers.
Generosityisthepracticeofgiving.Itcanhappenatmanylevels.Wecangivetime,money,labor.Weofferourcompassion,orempathy.Takesometimetowriteabout the typeof generosity that comesnaturally for you,orperhaps somewaysthatyoufeelchallengedbygenerosity.Ifyouhavetroublegettingstarted,considerlookingupadictionarydefinitionofthisoranyoftheperfections.
Generosityis:
________________________________________
MystruggleswithGenerosityare:
________________________________________
Self
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AspirationWhat would your aspiration for generosity look like for self? Remember,
aspirationcanbeunlimited.Thisisamentalpractice.Befree.Trytoworkwithoutlimitations.
________________________________________
IntoActionWhatwillyoucommittopracticingtodaythattakesyouclosertothatgoalof
generosityforyourself?
________________________________________
OthersAspirationHowwouldyouliketoseeyourselfbecomingmoregeneroustoothers?
________________________________________
IntoActionWhataction(s)willyoutaketowardthisgoal?Bespecificanddetailed.
________________________________________
DialogsTheVoiceofGreed
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BeforewespeaktotheVoiceofGreed,say:TotheVoiceofGreed,Iseeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofGreed?
FromtheVoiceofGreed,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofGreed.Myjobis:
________________________________________
AstheVoiceofGreed,Itelltheself:
________________________________________
Theselfneedsmebecause:
________________________________________
SometimesIcomeonalittlestrong.SomewaysthatIaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
What else does the self need to know about you, theVoice ofGreed to helpbring things into balance? Talk about your positive and negative effects on thewholeself.
________________________________________
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ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:ThankYou.Ihearyou.Iseeyou.
TheVoiceofGenerosityBeforewespeakto thevoiceofgenerosity, say:TotheVoiceofGenerosity, I
seeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofGenerosity?
FromtheVoiceofGenerosity,say,“Yes.”Then,
IamtheVoiceofGenerosity.Myjobis:
________________________________________
Itelltheself:
________________________________________
Theselfneedsmebecause:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
Integration
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Asthewholeself,sitstill forafewmoments.Imagineinthespacebeforeyouthevoicesofgreedandgenerosity.Theyareboth sitting inameditationposture,calmlyabidingintheirexperiences.FromtheVoiceofSelfsay,“ThankYou.Iseeyou. I hear you.” You know that they are parts of you, but none of thesecomponents tell the whole story. Imagine sending the light of compassion fromyourwholeheart to theheartsof eachvoice.They feel that sensationand returnthatlighttoeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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F
MindfulnessofEthicalDiscipline
oraddictsthisisatoughone.Ethicsareourguidelinesabouthowtobehave;our conscience, our Golden Rule.Morals are related to our perceptions of
rightandwrong.Sometimesthelinesofethicsandmoralscanbecomealittleoutoffocus or have shades of grey. To work with and adhere to our ethics requiresknowingwhattheyare,anddisciplinetostayontrack.
Disciplineistheoppositeofimpulsiveness.Itmeansdoingthingswedon’twanttodo,fromgoingtomeetingsto12-Stepworkforourselvesandwithothers.Theprogramsandspiritualsystemsteachusthis.
Howcanweuseourmeditationtotakeitdeeper?Ethicstomeare:
________________________________________
Disciplineis:
________________________________________
MystruggleswithEthicsandDisciplineare:
________________________________________
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SelfAspirationWhatwoulditlooklikeifyouhadallofthedisciplinethatyouwantedforyour
self?
________________________________________
IntoActionDosomethingbeforethenextsessionthattakesyouclosertothegoalthatyou
aspireto.Trytothinkofactionspertainingtobody,speechandmind.Suggestion:
practicesomeformofrestraint.
________________________________________
OthersAspirationHow would you like to see yourself being more disciplined in relation to
others?Whatiftherewerenolimitstothedisciplinethatyoucoulddevelop?
________________________________________
IntoActionBe specific about actions that youwill take toward this goal.Remember, this
worksifyouworkit.
________________________________________
Dialogs
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TheVoiceofNoEthics*thiscanberepeatedorsubstitutedfortheVoiceofNoDiscipline
BeforewespeaktotheVoiceofNoEthics,say:TotheVoiceofNoEthics,Iseeyou, I hear you, and I respect your right to be seen and to be heard.May I nowspeaktotheVoiceofNoEthics?
FromtheVoiceofNoEthics,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofNoEthics.Myroleis:
________________________________________
Itelltheself:
________________________________________
Theselfneedsmebecause:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:ThankYou.Ihearyou.Iseeyou.
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TheVoiceofEthicalDisciplineBeforewespeaktotheVoiceofEthicalDiscipline,say:TotheVoiceofEthical
Discipline,Iseeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofEthicalDiscipline?
FromVoiceofEthicalDiscipline,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofEthicalDiscipline.ThewayIfunctionis:
________________________________________
Itelltheselfthingslike:
________________________________________
Ihelptheselfby:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
IntegrationAs the self, be still for a fewmoments. Imagine in the space before you the
voicesofethicsandnoethics.Theyarebothsittinginameditationposture,calmlyabidingintheirexperiences.FromtheVoiceofSelfsay,“ThankYou…”Youknowthattheyarepartsofyou,butnoneofthecomponentstellthewholestory.Imagine
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sendingthelightofcompassionfromyourwholehearttotheheartsofeachvoice.Allowthemtofeelthatsensationandreturnthatlighttoeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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W
MindfulnessofPatience
aitforit…waitforit.Itseemslikewe’realwayswaitingforthenextthingtomakeusfeelbetter.Anymomentbutthisone.ThisisLittleppatience.But
transcendentpatience,asthequalityofaBuddha,wouldbelessaboutwaitingandmoreaboutfindingcontentmentinthemomentwhileatthesametimestrivingfortheperfectionofthisprinciple.ThinkofthisasBigPpatience.
Patience,justnowmeans:
________________________________________
Mytroublewithpatienceisabout:
________________________________________
SelfAspiration
Whatwouldyouraspirationofpatiencebelikeforyourself,ifyourimaginationranwild?ImaginewhatitwouldbeliketobeasPatientasaBuddha.
________________________________________
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IntoActionDosomethingthattakesyouclosertothegoalthatyouaspireto.Suggestion:Let
goofwaitingforthenextmoment.
Whatdoesitmeantopracticepatienceonthephysicallevel?Whatdoesitmeantoletgoofexpectations?Howcouldyoupracticepatiencetowardyourselfwithyourwords?Whatspecificideasaboutyourselfcouldyoureconsiderthatwouldhelpyoubecomemorepatient?
________________________________________
OthersAspirationHow would you like to see yourself being more patient with others? Not
grumblingpatience,butsoft,compassionate,wise,BigPPatience.
________________________________________
IntoActionWrite down your plans of action toward this goal of patience with others.
Perhapslistwaysofpracticingpatiencewithyourbody,speechandmind.PracticePatiencewithoneormorepeople.
________________________________________
TheVoiceofImpatience
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BeforewespeaktotheVoiceofImpatience,say:TotheVoiceofImpatience,Iseeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofImpatience?
FromVoiceofImpatience,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofImpatience.Myperspectiveis:
________________________________________
Itelltheselfthingslike:
________________________________________
Ihelptheselfby:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:ThankYou.Ihearyou.Iseeyou.
TheVoiceofPatience
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Beforewespeak to theVoiceofPatience, say:To theVoiceofPatience, I seeyou, I hear you, and I respect your right to be seen and to be heard.May I nowspeaktotheVoiceofPatience?
FromVoiceofPatience,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofPatience.Myperspectiveisthat:
________________________________________
Itelltheselfthingslike:
________________________________________
Ihelptheselfby:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanaffecttheselfnegativelyare:
________________________________________
IntegrationInthespaceofthewholeself,sitstillforafewmoments.Imagineinthespace
before you the voices of impatience and patience. They are both sitting in ameditationposture,calmlyabidingintheirexperiences.FromtheVoiceofSelfsay,“ThankYou…”Youknowthattheyarepartsofyou,butnoneofthecomponentstell the whole story. Imagine sending the light of compassion from your whole
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hearttotheheartsofeachvoice.Patienceandimpatienceeachfeelthatsensationandreturnthatlighttoeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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B
MindfulnessofDiligence
igcompaniesoftendosomethingcalledDueDiligence.Theyassignteamstogothrougheveryprotocol,theentirebudget,allthemanagers,proceduresand
policiesofeverydepartment.Diligenceismeticulous,complete,andthorough.Theoppositeofdiligencemightbe lazinessor sloppiness.The idea thathalfmeasuresare“goodenough”isnottheattitudeofadiligentpractitioner.Yetthere’sabalancebetweenunhealthyperfectionismanddiligence.Thinkaboutdiligenceasaformofyourspiritualworkethic.
Diligenceis:
________________________________________
Mytroublewithdiligenceisrootedin:
________________________________________
SelfAspiration
1. Whatwouldyouraspirationofdiligencebelikeforyourselfiftherewerenolimitstowhatyoucoulddevelop?
2. Imaginewhatitwouldbeliketobewillingtogotoanylengthstohelpothers
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becomeenlightened.3. Howthoroughofaninventorymustwetakeinourmeditationtobecome
trulywillingtopracticethisperfectionatourhighestcapacity?
________________________________________
IntoActionPracticesomeseriousdiligenceinsomemannerrelatedtobody,speech,mind
orallthree.Suggestion:bediligentwithbody,speechandmind!
________________________________________
OthersAspirationHowwouldyouliketoseeyourselfpracticingDueDiligencewithothers?This
doesn’tmeantakingtheirinventory,butmaybeourbeingmorecommittedtowardserviceonaphysical,mentalandoremotionallysupportiveplane.
________________________________________
IntoActionTakeactionsofpatiencetowardthisgoal.DosomeDue!
________________________________________
TheVoiceofHalfMeasures
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Before we speak to the Voice of Half Measures, say: To the Voice of HalfMeasures,Iseeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofHalfMeasures?
FromVoiceofHalfMeasures,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofHalfMeasures.Inmyview:
________________________________________
SometimesItelltheselfthingslike:
________________________________________
Iamabighelptotheselfby:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcangetinthewayare:
________________________________________
ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:ThankyouVoiceofHalfMeasures.Ihearyou.Isee
you.
TheVoiceofDiligence
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BeforewespeaktotheVoiceofDiligence,say:TotheVoiceofDiligence,Iseeyou, I hear you, and I respect your right to be seen and to be heard.May I nowspeaktotheVoiceofDiligence?
FromVoiceofDiligence,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofDiligence.Mypositionisthat:
________________________________________
Iremindtheselfto:
________________________________________
I’mindispensabletotheselfbecause:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanbetoooverpoweringare:
________________________________________
IntegrationAsthewholeself,sitstill forafewmoments.Imagineinthespacebeforeyou
theVoicesofHalfMeasures andDiligence.Theyareboth sitting in ameditationposture, calmly abiding in their experiences. From the Voice of Self say again,“ThankYou…”Youknowthattheyarepartsofyou,butnoneofthecomponentstell the whole story. Imagine sending the light of compassion from your whole
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heart to theheartsofeachvoice.They feel that sensationandreturn that light toeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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W
MindfulnessofSinglePointedConcentration
e’re very skilled when we want to concentrate on our drug of choice,relationship ormoney obsessions, and resentments.We do sowith laser
precision. For this paramita,we direct a skill thatwe already have to obtain thequalities of an enlightened being. Remember that single-pointed focus is not theendgoal,butatoolonthepathtoWisdom.
Concentrationmeans:
________________________________________
Istrugglewithconcentrationsometimeswhen:
________________________________________
SelfAspiration
Thinkabouthowyoualreadyconcentrate.Whataretheconditionswhereitworksbestforyou?Howdoyouenvisionthelevelofconcentrationofamastermusician,athleteorotherhighlyaccomplishedindividual?
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HowdoesthisabilitylenditselftoBuddhahood?Whatwouldyourstateofmindbeifyouweretotallyundistracted?
________________________________________
IntoActionSuggestion: Focus on something intentional for a set period of time. Notice
whenyou’redistracted.Bringyourselfbacktotheobjectofyourmeditation.Trytochoose something physical, emotional and mental to focus on. Notice where itcomesfromandwhereitgoesto.Feelfreetotrysomethingelseifthisdoesn’tworkforyou.
________________________________________
OthersAspirationHowcouldyouapplyyourpowersofmeditativefocusinasituationinvolving
someone else? How can you use what you’ve learned about yourself to helpsomeone,beyondthenormalrecoverytalkthatwehearinmeetings.
________________________________________
IntoActionCommittofocusedpracticeinrelationtoothers.Howcanweusebody,speech
and mind to stay focused on the needs of others? Think about how all of theperfectionswe’vepracticedsofarsupportthispractice!It’salittlelikeStep12.
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________________________________________
TheVoiceofDistractionBeforewespeaktotheVoiceofDistraction,say:TotheVoiceofDistraction,I
seeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceofDistraction?
FromVoiceofDistraction,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofDistraction.Myroleinthelifeoftheselfisto:
________________________________________
Ikeeptheselffrom:
________________________________________
Myvaluetotheselfis:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcaninhibittheself’sprogressare:
________________________________________
ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:Thankyou.Ihearyou.Iseeyou.
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TheVoiceofSinglePointedConcentration
Before we speak to the Voice of Single Pointed Concentration, say: To theVoice of Single PointedConcentration, I see you, I hear you, and I respect yourright to be seen and to be heard. May I now speak to the Single PointedConcentration?
FromVoiceofSinglePointedConcentration,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofSinglePointedConcentration.Myfocusis:
________________________________________
Ikeeptheselffrom:
________________________________________
I’mimportanttotheselfbecause:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcangetinthewayare:
________________________________________
IntegrationInthespaceofthewholeself,sitstillforafewmoments.Imagineinthespace
beforeyou theVoicesofDistractionandSinglePointedConcentration.Theyare
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bothsittinginameditationposture,calmlyabidingintheirexperiences.FromtheVoiceofSelfsay,“ThankYou…”Youknowthattheyarepartsofyou,butnoneofthecomponentstellthewholestory.Imaginesendingthelightofcompassionfromyourwholeheart to theheartsof eachvoice.They feel that sensationand returnthatlighttoeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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E
MindfulnessofWisdom
verything is empty.There’s nothing but causes contributing to causes in aninfinite cosmos of unlimited suffering. It’s all a dream - totally unreal. This
perfection is the result of the first turning of the wheel of Dharma and theculminationofalloftheprecedingparamitas.
How can we use this knowledge and experience in the application of anultimate12thStep?
Wisdom,inaconventionalsenseis:
________________________________________
Myissuewithwisdomis:
________________________________________
SelfAspiration
Considerthefactthatyoudon’treallyexist.Noticethepartsofselfthatyouconsiderself.Howaboutthesumofthoseparts?Whereistheself?
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Isitinthebody,inourenergyandemotions,inourmind,orisitthemindinitsentirety?
________________________________________
IntoActionSuggestion:Meditateondependentorigination-theendlesschainofcausefor
onesinglephenomenonwithinyourselforasyourself.Feel free to trysomethingelseifthisdoesn’tworkforyou.
________________________________________
OthersAspiration
Ifyourselfisemptyofinherent,concreteexistence,whatwouldyouraspirationbetopracticebeinginthisknowledgewhenitcomestoyourwork,yourfamily,yourcommunity?Thinkglobally.
________________________________________
IntoAction
Meditateonaspectsofbody,speechandmindofothers.Aretheyreal,orempty?Canyousee/feelhowthedelusionoftheegowhichthinksit’srealbutistotallyemptycausessufferingforothers?
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Howcanyouapplythisknowledgeinyourchoices?
________________________________________
TheVoiceoftheEgo(InherentlyExisting“I”)
BeforewespeaktotheVoiceoftheEgo,say:TotheVoiceoftheEgo,Iseeyou,Ihearyou,andIrespectyourrighttobeseenandtobeheard.MayInowspeaktotheVoiceoftheEgo?
FromVoiceoftheEgo,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceoftheEgo.Myfocusis:
________________________________________
Ikeeptheselffrom:
________________________________________
I’mimportanttotheselfbecause:
________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcangetinthewayare:
________________________________________
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ComeBacktoSelfFromtheVoiceofSelfsay:ThankyouVoiceoftheEgo.Iyou.Ihearyou.
TheVoiceofEmptinessI’llbetyoudidn’tknowthatemptinesshadavoice,right?Aswe’veseensofar,
they’ve all got voices. But theymay tend to speak all at once. In 12-Stepwe callthese voices the committee. With the practices of the perfections and anunderstandingof theBuddhistpath,wecanspeak fromaplaceofWisdom.We’llcall that one the Voice of Emptiness because the realization of emptiness isconsideredtobethePerfectionofWisdom.
BeforewespeaktotheVoiceofEmptiness,say:TotheVoiceofEmptiness,Iseeyou, I hear you, and I respect your right to be seen and to be heard.May I nowspeaktotheVoiceofEmptiness?
FromVoiceofEmptiness,sayyes.Then,
IamtheVoiceofEmptiness.Myviewis:
________________________________________
Iholdtheselfin:
________________________________________
Theselfneedstoknowmebydirectexperiencebecause:
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________________________________________
ThewaysthatIcanbemisunderstoodare:
________________________________________
IntegrationInthespaceofthewholeself,sitstillforafewmoments.Imagineinthespace
beforeyou theVoicesofEgo (that thinks it exists) andEmptiness.Theyarebothsittinginameditationposture,calmlyabidingintheirexperiences.FromtheVoiceofSelfsay,“ThankYouEgo.ThankyouEmptiness.Iseehowyoubothexist.Ifeelyourinfluence.Irespectyouboth.”Youknowthattheyarepartsofyou,butnoneof the components tell thewhole story. Imagine sending the light of compassionfrom yourwhole heart to the hearts of each voice. They feel that sensation andreturnthatlighttoeachother,thenbacktoyou.
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C
ClosingMeditation
losingMeditationIn the space of the whole self, sit still for a few moments before
proceedingtothefinalpracticeinthiscourse.Ofcourse,it’snotthefinalfinal.ThatwouldbeBuddhahood.
Forourclosingmeditation,we’lldoamoreopenpractice.Thismayfeelverydifferentfromthesinglepointedfocusmeditation.ForthepasttenyearsI’vetaughtthesinglepointedmeditationfollowedbytheopenskymeditationinastylethatIlearned fromYongeyMingyurRinpoche. Everyone has their own preference forwhich they like better. Try this one, and know that if you prefer to stay singlepointed,thatisyourcall.
OpenSkyMeditationRelax your face. Breathe deeply and slowly. Eyes are closed for a moment.
Notice the sensations in your body. Relax in the quiet center of your being. Letyourheartopen.Then,slowly,letyoureyesopen.Fromthatquietcenter,begintolookaround.Moveyoureyesveryslowly. Ifyou lose theexperienceofcalmness,closethemalittle,takeabreathandbeginagain.Trytomaintainthatsenseofcalmas younotice the information coming in to each of your five senses. Listenwithopenears.Letyourmouthfallopen.Tasteandsmell theair.Bewideopentothe
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sensationsofyourbody.Remaininthisrelaxed,openstateforaslongasyoulikebeforemovingon.
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C
Conclusion
ongratulations. You’ve just studied and have hopefully begun to practicebeginning mindfulness. I hope you feel like you’ve learned something
valuable.TherewasalotofmaterialpackedintoashorteBook.Itrytodothiswithallofmywork.Short,simple,powerful,tothepoint,transformative.
Whetheryoufeelyou’verealizedemptinessorhaveevenbeguntomasteranyoralloftheperfectionsisnotthepoint.Rather,thepointistobegintounderstandyour condition of suffering. The quandary is thatwe keep doing the same thingover and over and expect different results.We call that insanity in the rooms. IthinkBuddhawouldagree.
Wehaveanopportunitytogaininsightsbyconsideringthesetopicsfromnotonly aBuddhist viewbut through the lensof a 12-Stepmodel.We can enter thepathtobecomeliberatedbeingswithourintention.In12-Stepwesay,“sometimesquickly,sometimesslowly.”Butifwebegin,wecanseebigchangesinaveryshorttime.
In the systems of Buddhism that I practice, we beginwith intention, do ourpracticeandendwithdedication.Whatthatdoesisitsetsthekarmaonblast.Whenyouhavethe intentiontohelpallbeingsbeforeyoubeginasacredactionsuchastaking refuge, then you do the action, you get powerful feelings of satisfaction.Then you dedicate whatever merit you’ve gained to the liberation of all beings.That’smindfulness.That’sPerfectPractice.
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Aswithsettinganintention,yourdedicationcanbesimple,ormoreinvolved.Gowithyourgut.Write itout.Feel freetochange itwhenyouwantto. It’syourpractice.
Mineisoftensomethinglike:
MayweallbecomeBuddhasandsaveinfinitebeingsininfiniteuniversesfromunbelievablesufferingforever.
Amen.
Peaceoutandnamaste,
-d
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T
PleaseReview
hankyouagainforreading.Ifyou’reonyourKindle,pleaseswiperightandreviewthebook.Ifnot,here’sadirectlink.
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ThankYou
Thank you so much for choosing this eBook. It means a lot to me. There willhopefullybemoretocome.
Practicewell.Sendmeanoteonthe12stepbuddhist.com,Instagram,Facebook,Twitter.Ilovehearingfrompeople.
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Resources
ForResourcesonBuddhismandrecoverypleaseseehttp://the12stepbuddhist.com/resources
Ifyouhaveanissuewithaddiction,pleasecontactyourlocalresources.AA,NAandother“As”areprettymucheverywhere.Findonlinemeetingsinmanydifferentformatsathttp://intherooms.com
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FreeSample:TheYogaofSelfCompassion
HowitWorks:PracticeIn order for this process to work, you gotta do things, but as I teach my yogastudents, it really doesn’t matter if you do a little or a lot. It matters if you dosomethingconsistently.Thisisstandardknowledgeinthepsychologyoflearning.Andyouarelearning.You’retrainingyourbrain,heartandsoultoletyourselffeelthelovethatyouare.
Thisbookisaboutresults.We’reactuallytryingtofeelbetter,sowehavetosetsomegoals.Thegoalscanbetiny.Butsetthem.Hint:makeyourgoalsattainable.Thenyousetyourselfupforsuccess.Ifyousay,“I’mgoingtothegymsevendaysaweekandI’mgoingtolose40poundsandfitintothatdressIboughtlastsummer,”thenyoumissacoupleofdays,whathappens?Youfeel shameanddon’twant togo?Ifyou’reanythinglikeme,yousetthebarprettyhighforyourself.Butifit’stoohighwedon’treachourgoals.Weneedattainable,measurablegoals.
So break out yourGoogle calendar, and yourNotes app andmake a note ofhowmanydaysandforhowlongthatyou’regoingtodosomeofthesepractices.Youcanevensetyourfirstgoalthatyou’llreadthisbookforfiveminutesatnightbeforebeduntilit’sdone.Thenputitinyourcalendarwithareminder.Then,whenyougetthenotification,don’tignoreit!
InyourNotesappor journal,writedownhowyoufeelaboutyourself inthatmoment.Writealittleorwritealot,butrecordsomethingthatyoucanreferbackto later. Then set a reminder to check back in 30 days after you start doing a
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practice or set of practices.At that time you can reflect.Did this or that activitychangehowIfeel?Writeyourfeelingsdown.Setnewgoalsforanother7or21or30days.Repeat.
TheArtandScienceofPractice
Inordertofeelself-loveandletitflourishyouneedtodoafewsimplethings.Youdon’tneedtojoinacultorbuyasubscriptionplanordrinkanyKool-Aid.Scienceisaboutexperimentation,butthere’sanarttoself-love.It’syourcanvas.Paintthepicture thatmakesyou feel good. Ingeneral, you setupahypothesis: if Ido thispractice,willitchangethewayIfeel?Thenmakenoteshowyourcurrentsituationis.Makeaplan.Dotheactionsforasetperiodoftime.Recordyourprogress.Then,at the end of the time frame that you chose, check your results. Did the actionswork? If not, noworries.Maybe try something else, change it up a little. If theywork,wellthen,fantastic!
Ifyoukeepdoingwhatyou’redoing,you’llkeepgettingwhatyou’regetting.Ifyou
don’tliketheresults,changetheactions.
ThewaythatItalkaboutandpracticewithmylifetoolsisbasedonmytrainingasa Research Scientist in Psychology.We’ll use a loose scientific method to test ahypothesis and make decisions on the value of our work. It’s pretty simple, yetpowerful.You’llrecognizethemethodfromhighschoolsciencecourses.I’llprovideafewexamplestogetyoustarted.Butyouwillwanttocomeupwithyourown,andcommitthemtowriting.
Putyourexperimentwhereyoucanseeitdaily.Setreminderstopractice.Sharewith friends.Get support and support otherswho are doing the same or similarpractices. Make an Instagram or Pinterest post for your practices. Be sure toincludealinktothisbookifyoudo!
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Themethodisthatyouformahypothesis,makeastatement,defineyourterms,perform an experiment (practice the actions), record your findings and finally,evaluateyourresults.Thenyoucanreportthemtothecommunity.Thismakesthatpractice concrete, measurable and shareable. Make a t-shirt, it’s wearable! Let’swalkthroughanexample.
Describeyoursituation.
Brainstormalittleabouthowyoufeelandhowyou’dliketochange.Startwitha journal about how you’re feeling right now, in this moment. Be honest, writefreely. Don’t overthink it. The meditations provided in the book will help youdeepen your awareness of your feelings as you go. Remember, it’s a process. Beflexiblewithyourself.Allowtheprocesstobefluid.Practicerigorouslybutbeeasy.Doesthatmakesense?Thisisthewaywedoyoga.Strongbutloose.
Next, decidewhat kind of changes you’d like to see in your life.Write themdown.Bespecific.Thenyou’llhaveabasisforwhyyouwanttodoyourpractice.Itcanandwillchangewithtimeandexperience,andthat’sfine.Justbegin.
Formahypothesis.
IfImeditatefor20minutesadayforamonth,I’llfeelbetter.Defineyourterms.Bybetter,Imean●lighter●freer●morefocused●lessdepressed●moreenergized●lessblockedDoyourpractice.
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Decideonthepracticethatyou’regoingtodo,butfeelfreetomodifyitslightlyfor yourself. In all of my books and work, I help people feel empowered tocustomizeandmodifythetoolstheychoose.Youcanandshouldcollaboratewithyourselftomakeyourownmedicine.Thenyouneedtotakeyourmedicine.
Don’tforgetthatpart!
Remember, in order to get measurable results, you’ll need to do the samepracticeforaconsistentperiodoftime.Don’tletthistripyouup.Honestly,ifyoudosomething,it’sbetterthannothing.Doit,seewhatworks.Ifyouhavealittlebitofdiscipline,dothesamepracticeatthesametimeinthesamewayeveryday.Butremember,consistencyisthekey.IfyoudofiveminutesofMindfulObservationofthe breath each day for seven days, that’s a fantastic start. Set yourself up forsuccess.Commit towhatyouknowyoucando, thenrefine it,develop it,deepenandexpanditasyougo.You’retheboss.
I’vecreatedsomegoodpracticeshereforyou.Feelfreetopicksomethingfromanotherresourceifyoufeelmoreconnectedtoit.
Recordyourexperiences.
Youcandoyourpracticewithoutmakingnotes,butmanypeoplefinditveryuseful towritedowntheirexperiencesas theygo.Thatway,whenyoulookbackyoucanseewhat’schangedandwhathasremainedthesame.Mysuggestionisthataftereachsession,jotdownafewnotesaboutwhatcameupforyou.Thesecanbethoughts,sensations,dreamlikeimages, intuitions,feelings.Onesentenceisbetterthanwritingnothingatall.Makeashortnoteorwritealot.It’suptoyouandhowyoufeel.
Ifwordsaren’tyourthing,pickasongfortheday.SnaptheSpotifyartandputit intoanote.Whenyou lookbackon it, you’ll rememberhowyou felt.Useany
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medium that works for you. Drawing, painting, dancing, photographing. But besuretoputitinyourjournalasarecordofhowyoufelt.That’simportant.Youcanembedimages,audio,andlinksinanynotetakingapp.Useemojis.Havefunwithit!
Evaluateyourresults.
Be sure to allow the results to emerge as something different thanwhat youintended.Thathappensa lotand it canbe reallycool.Remembernot toevaluatetoomuchduring theprocess. Just let ithappen.Nowthatyou’vedoneyour self-love experiment, take a look back at your Brainstormnotes from the beginning.Walkthroughyourdaily journalofexperiences.Takeafewtoletitsinkin.Thenwrite up a little evaluation.Consider the following as a guideline, but as always,makeityourown.
Istartedoutfeeling….Selectedthispractice…DiditforXdays…Feltlikethisalongtheway…NowIfeel…Overalltryingthispracticemademefeel…Shareyourresults.Blogaboutit!Buyacopyofthebookforyourfriend.AddalinkonyourIGor
Facebookandletpeopleknow.Shareyoursuccesssothatothersmayshareitwithyou.Usekeywordsandhashtags.I’vepersonallyfoundsomereallycoolpostsandpeoplethisway.
Practice:BasicMeditation
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Meditationmeanstobequietandfocusedwithinyourself.Youcanmeditatefor30secondsatatimeor30minutesorgotoa30dayretreat.Youcanmeditatewhilesittingstillorwhilemoving.Butit’seasiertolearnwhilesittingstill.
Tobegin,findacomfortableseat.Youcanbecross-legged,halfcross-legged,onachair, edgeof thebedorwithyour legs foldedunderyou.Finda straightback.Drawyourbellyinalittle.Tuckyourtailbonedown.Raiseyourheart.Bringyourshouldersup,andbackanddown.Flipyourpalmsupinagestureofreceptivityorletthemgroundyoubykeepingthemfacedown.
Sit still fora setperiodof time.Thenyou’redone.Stillnessmeansyou’renotmoving.Youreyesdon’twander.Nosedoesn’ttwitch.Sodon’tmove,itch,scratch,checkyourphone,makealist,wallowinremorseortellyourselfuntruths.Justsit.Therearepeoplewhospendtheirlivesdoingjustthispractice.Nothingmore.
Youcanstartwithhalfaminute,ortrytodo5minutes.Workupto30minutes.Letmeditationbecomeapartofwhoyouarebypracticingitdaily.Consistencyisbetterthanlong,intermittentsessions.
ContinuereadingTheYogaofSelfCompassion…
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FreeSample:12-StepBuddhist
Thefollowingisexcerptedfromthe12-StepBuddhist,2009Atria\BeyondWordsThe12-StepBuddhistADivisionofSimon&Schuster,Inc.1230AvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NY10020
20827N.W.CornellRoad,Suite500Hillsboro,Oregon97124-9808503-531-8700/503-531-8773faxwww.beyondword.com
Copyright©2009byDarrenLittlejohn
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portionsthereof in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of AtriaBooks/BeyondWordsPublishing,Inc.,exceptwherepermittedbylaw.
Thispublicationcontainstheopinionsandideasofitsauthor.Itisintendedtoprovide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in thepublication.Itissoldwiththeunderstandingthattheauthorandpublisherarenotengaged in renderingmedical, health, or any other kind of personal professional
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servicesinthebook.Thereadershouldconsulthisorhermedical,healthorothercompetent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book ordrawing inferences from it. The author and publisher specifically disclaim allresponsibilityforanyliability,lossorrisk,personalorotherwise,whichisincurredas a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of thecontentsofthisbook.
Managingeditor:LindsayS.BrownEditor:AliMcCartCopyeditor:GretchenStelterProofreader:RobertVaughnATRIA BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
BeyondWordsPublishingisadivisionofSimon&Schuster,Inc.LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationDataLittlejohn,Darren.The 12-step Buddhist: enhance recovery from any addiction / Darren
Littlejohn.p.cm.Includesbibliographicalreferences.1. Twelve-step programs—Religious aspects—Buddhism. 2. Religious life—
Buddhism.3.Self-helptechniques.I.Title.BQ4570.T85L582009294.3′4442—dc222008044310ISBN-13:978-1-4165-9595-3ISBN-10:1-4165-9595-3ThecorporatemissionofBeyondWordsPublishing,Inc.:InspiretoIntegrityVisitusontheWorldWideWeb:
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http://www.SimonSays.com
IntroducingtheSteps
Gettingfreefromaddictioncanbeanarduousundertaking.Placingmyfeetonthewell-worn path of 12-step recoverywas themost direct route I could find, eventhoughIdidn’tevenknowitatthetime.TodaymylifemakessenseandI’vefoundwhatIhavealwayssought:asenseofpeaceandfreedom.
—TWS2008Beforewedelveintotheprinciplesandpracticesofeachstep,I’dliketoshare
myperspectiveonthisoffering.SomepeoplearebilledasBuddhistteachersinthatthey write about Buddhism. It is very important to understand that there is adifference between teaching and/or sharing personal experience, and being aqualified lineage holder. I’vemade this point earlier, but Iwant tomake it clearbeforeyoureadthecommentary,meditations,andpracticeslaterinthissectionandinthesteps.WhatfollowsisinlargepartthestoryofmyBuddhistexperienceandhowitsteachingsandpracticeshelpkeepmesoberaftermyrelapse.Itisarrangedinto a program tohelp otherswith the same inclinations andneeds, but it ismyinterpretationofBuddhismasanaddictin12-Steprecovery.I’mnotadesignatedlineagelamanoraZenmaster.WhatisofferedhereisanintroductionthatIhopeyouwillexplorefurtherwithyourBuddhistteachers,12-Stepfriends,family,andrecoveryteam,whomevertheymaybe.
I’ll use the same fashion common to 12-Step meetings to describe myexperiencewitheachstep.Thewayweviewspiritualtoolschangeswithtimeandpractice, and those in the 12 Steps are no exception. My understanding hasdevelopedovertheyears.Somethingsthatworkedinthebeginningfailedmelater.Othersarestillapplicable.WaysthatIviewedthestepsearlyonmightmakesensetonewcomers,butforme,theylosttheirlusterwhenIfoundmyselfintheFunnel.
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I’llsharewhat’schangedinlightofmyBuddhistpracticeandhowyoucandevelop
yourownintegratedprogram.
The12StepsAdaptedfromtheOriginalStepsofAlcoholicsAnonymous
Step1:Weadmittedwewerepowerlessoverouraddictionandour liveshadbecomeunmanageable.
Step2:Wecametobelievethatapowergreaterthanourselvescouldrestoreustosanity.
Step3:Madeadecisionto turnourwillandour livesover to thecareofourHigherPowerasweunderstoodourHigherPower.
Step4:Wemadeasearchingandfearlessmoralinventoryofourselves.Step5:WeadmittedtoourHigherPower,ourselves,andanotherhumanbeing
theexactnatureofourwrongs.Step6:We’reentirelyreadytohaveourHigherPowerremovethesedefectsof
character.Step7:HumblyaskedourHigherPowertoremoveourshortcomings.Step8:Madealistofallpersonswehadharmed,andbecamewillingtomake
amendstothemall.Step9:Madedirectamendstosuchpeoplewheneverpossible,exceptwhento
dosowouldinjurethemorothers.Step10:Wecontinuedto takepersonal inventory,andwhenwewerewrong,
promptlyadmittedit.Step11:Wesought throughprayerandmeditation to improveourconscious
contactwithourHigherPower,asweunderstoodit,prayingonlyforknowledgeofourHP’swillforusandthepowertocarryitout.
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Step12:Havinghadaspiritualawakeningastheresultofthesesteps,wetriedtocarrythismessagetotheaddictwhostillsuffersandtopracticetheseprinciplesinallofouraffairs.
The lay out of the steps allows the reader to approach them from differentangles.Youcangothrougheachstepsequentially,atthebeginner’slevelofthe12-StepPrinciplesandMeditations.Youcanskipthenextsectionsandproceedtothe12-Step Principles and Meditations in the next step. This way, you won’t getoverwhelmedwiththedeeper,moreseriouspracticesineachstep.Or,youcangothroughthedeeperlevelsonly,allthewaythroughthesteps.YoucouldjustdotheAspectsofSelfparts,allthewaythroughagain.Youcouldalsogothrougheachstepindetail,oneata time,aswritten. It’s important todowhatyou’rereadyforandinterestedin.Inthisway,Ihopethebookwillserveasamanualforyourlong-termprogram—oneyoucankeepthroughoutyourrecovery.
12-StepPrograms:WhatWorksandWhatDoesn’t
The 12 Steps work in my life. In my experience, there is nothing as singularlyeffectiveforrecoveringaddictsasactiveinvolvementina12-Stepcommunity.IfIhadonlyoneoptiontochoosefromamongalloftheavailablesolutions,itwouldbethe12Steps.ButI’mgladtherearemoreoptions.
My relationship to the 12-Step community has gone through many changesover the years. Itwent beyondmy expectations in the beginning. Everymeetingwasmind-blowing.Newinsightsintomyaddictionandagreaterawarenessofmycondition were constant. For the first time in my life, I found a community ofpeoplewho,whilemaybe theyweren’t just likeme, had similar histories and thedesiretostaysober.
Recoverygotmorecomplicatedastheyearswenton.Asalong-termspiritualpractitionerwithtwoperiodsofextendedsobriety,alongwithmentalillnessanda
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relapsehistory,I’mforcedtoseekthehighestteachingsandtocombinethemwith
the 12 Steps, therapy, and other tools. Some of us, as they say, are sicker thanothers.
That’sonereasonwhyIwrotethisbook.Notmanyareequippedwithenoughtoolstohelpthoseofuswithsuchanamalgamofproblemsasmine.I’vescratchedandstruggledforyearstoestablishasolutionthatworks.Thisbookistheresultofworkingthroughthoseproblemssothatothers,includingrelapsers,canavoidsomeofthepain.
I’ve tried to integrateallkindsofmeetings into theprogram:men’smeetings,retreats, camp-outs,Alanoclubs,hospitals,upper-middle-class suburban tightwadmeetings, and inner-city midnight meetings. I’ve tried gay meetings and blackmeetings,nottomentionsex,cocaine,emotions,codependency—younameit,I’vetried it, butnot alwaysbecause the typeofmeeting reflectedmyownreality (forexample, I’m not black or gay). But I have always looked for ways to cope anddeepenmyspirituallife.
InowfeelconnectedtotheprograminawayIhaven’tfeltsinceIstartedbackin the mid-eighties. But it’s the result of working a multidimensional program,weaving12StepstogetherwithBuddhisminadynamic,flexibleway.FollowingaresomepointsI’velearnedthehardwayabout12-Steplife.
Ihopethatyouenjoyedthesample.Toreadthe12-StepBuddhist,clickhere.
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Acknowledgments
1steditionAll of my thoughts on practice are hopefully inspired by my teachers,
particularlyChogyalNamkhaiNorbuRinpochewhose unbelievable energy feedseveryaspectofmyunderstandingofthebase, thepathandthefruitofBuddhismandeverythingelse.AnymistakesinmyunderstandingaremyownandareinnowaymeanttobeareflectionofanyteachingthatIhavemisunderstood.IhumblythankthePortland12-StepBuddhistGroupfortheiryearsofsupportandallofthepeoplewhocome toour retreats.Without you, these topicswould remain inmyhead.It’ssoawesometoworkwithpeoplewhoareeagertoparticipateinDharma.TheeBookwaseditedbyNancyP.Davenport.NancyisaBayAreapoetandeditorofliteraryandspiritualwritings.ContactheratNpd417@aol.com.
Acknowledgements:2ndedition
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Dedication
ThisworkisdedicatedtoTysa,whohastaughtmethemeaningofgenerosity,patienceand
manyotherthings.
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Copyrights
The12-StepBuddhistADivisionofSimon&Schuster,Inc.1230AvenueoftheAmericasNewYork,NY10020
20827N.W.CornellRoad,Suite500Hillsboro,Oregon97124-9808503-531-8700/503-531-8773faxwww.beyondword.com
Copyright©2009byDarrenLittlejohn
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portionsthereof in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of AtriaBooks/BeyondWordsPublishing,Inc.,exceptwherepermittedbylaw.
Thispublicationcontainstheopinionsandideasofitsauthor.Itisintendedtoprovide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in thepublication.Itissoldwiththeunderstandingthattheauthorandpublisherarenotengaged in renderingmedical, health, or any other kind of personal professionalservicesinthebook.Thereadershouldconsulthisorhermedical,healthorother
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competent professional before adopting any of the suggestions in this book ordrawing inferences from it. The author and publisher specifically disclaim allresponsibilityforanyliability,lossorrisk,personalorotherwise,whichisincurredas a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of thecontentsofthisbook.
Managingeditor:LindsayS.BrownEditor:AliMcCartCopyeditor:GretchenStelterProofreader:RobertVaughnATRIA BOOKS and colophon are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
BeyondWordsPublishingisadivisionofSimon&Schuster,Inc.LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationDataLittlejohn,Darren.The 12-step Buddhist: enhance recovery from any addiction / Darren
Littlejohn.p.cm.Includesbibliographicalreferences.1. Twelve-step programs—Religious aspects—Buddhism. 2. Religious life—
Buddhism.3.Self-helptechniques.I.Title.BQ4570.T85L582009294.3′4442—dc222008044310ISBN-13:978-1-4165-9595-3ISBN-10:1-4165-9595-3ThecorporatemissionofBeyondWordsPublishing,Inc.:InspiretoIntegrityVisitusontheWorldWideWeb:http://www.SimonSays.com