performance evaluation quotes
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These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual
employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation.
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"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."
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"His men would follow him anywhere, ....... but only out of morbid curiosity."
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"I would not allow this employee to breed."
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"This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."
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"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
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"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
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“He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
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"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
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"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
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"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
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"This employee should go far, ..... and the sooner he starts, the better."
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"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."
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“A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
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“He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
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“He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
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"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
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“He's been working with glue too much."
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"He would argue with a signpost."
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"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
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“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
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"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
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"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, ..... he's the other one."
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"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
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“A prime candidate for natural deselection."
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“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
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"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn‘t coming."
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"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
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“If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
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“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
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"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."
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"It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."
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"One neuron short of a synapse."
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“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge;..... he only gargled."
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“Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
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"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
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The End