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Personal

Effectiveness

An Interactive Workshop on

Dr.Najam Abbas

[email protected] , 0321-5041155



Knowing Each Other



WE



Mood MeterPrisoners - Vacationers - Sponges



Clear the deck



Workshop Expectations



Video ClipLegacy



To live, To love, To learn,

To leave a legacy

The need to live, to love, to learn, to

leave a legacy, are basic to every humanbeing. When these are not met, we feelhollow inside regardless of whether we

consciously admit to this or not .



Personal Effectiveness

in LiteratureO Effective Time Management

O Stress Management

O Conflict Management

O Thinking Skills

O The Art of Communication

O Negotiation SkillsO Finding Yourself

O Leadership Skills

O Motivational Techniques

O How to Win Others

O Avoiding Procrastination

O

Achieving GreatnessO Getting Private Victory

O Cherishing Public Victory

O The Art of Assertiveness

O ….



Our Workshop Plan



Book Worm Calculator



Stephen R. Covey

O Stephen R. Covey (1932–2012) was an

internationally respected leadership

authority, family expert, teacher,

organizational consultant, and author

O Recognized as one of Time magazine’s

twenty-five most influential Americans

O His books have sold more than 25 million

copies in thirty-eight languages, and The 7

Habits of Highly Effective People was namedthe 1 Most Influential Business Book of the

Twentieth Century.



Why To Choose



“Stephen Covey has written a remarkablebook about the human condition, so

elegantly written, so understanding of ourembedded concerns, so useful for our

organization and personal lives, that it'sgoing to be my gift to everyone I know”

Warren Bennis, author of On Becoming a Leader

Book Review

“ Habits of Effective People”



“I've never known any teacher or mentoron improving personal effectiveness to

generate such an overwhelminglypositive reaction....

This book captures beautifullyStephen's philosophy of principles”

John Pepper, President, Procter and Gamble

Book Review




“Stephen Covey is an American

Socrates, opening your mind to the'permanent things'

values , family, relationships,

communicating”

Brian Tracy, author of Psychology of Achievement

Book Review




“He is neither an optimist nor a pessimist, but a

possibilist, who believes that we and we alone can

open the door to change within ourselves.”

Steve Labunski, Executive Director, International

Radio and Television Society

Book Review




Why To Choose

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

provides an anchor for our lives—enabling usto live with a sense of constancy amid

change—because the habits are based on

timeless, universal, self-evident principles of

human effectiveness



Identifying Problems



Symptoms & Habits of PersonalINEFFECTIVENESS

Feeling like a victim Little time for thinking and planning

Externalizing others, Blaming others Always seems to be in hurry

Complaining about being overworked No learning and growing

Tensed, Stressed, Moody Inadequate exercise

Reacting to Urgent and forgetting

ImportantPoor sleep and diet

Busy but no real sense of achievement

and satisfaction

Inability to relax, feeling bored when

not working

Having the same thoughts over and over

again Experiencing regular interruptions

Feeling like technology is ruling your lifePersonally exhausted but

subordinates are underutilized

Always in conflictFeeling disconnected from most

important relationships



The Problems…

“I've set and met my career goals and I'mhaving tremendous professional success.

But it's cost me my personal and family life.

I don't know my wife and children anymore.I'm not even sure I know myself and what's

really important to me.

I've had to ask myself -- is it worth it?”



The Problems…

“ I've taken course after course on effective

management training. I expect a lot out of myemployees and I work hard to be friendly toward

them and to treat them right.

But I don't feel any loyalty from them.

Why can't I train them to be independent andresponsible -- or find employees who can be?”



The Problems…

“ There's so much to do. And there's neverenough time. I feel pressured and hassled all

day, every day, seven days a week.

I've attended time management seminars andI've tried half a dozen different planning

systems. They've helped some, but I still don't

feel I'm living the happy, productive, peacefullife I want to live.”



“I'm busy -- really busy. But sometimes I wonder if

what I'm doing will make a difference in the long run.I'd really like to think there was meaning in my life,

that somehow things were different because I was

here”

“I see my friends or relatives achieve some degree

of success or receive some recognition, and I smile

and congratulate them enthusiastically. But inside,

I'm eating my heart out. Why do I feel this way ?”



Video ClipFive Emotional Cancers



FromIdentification of Problems

ToRectification of Problems



It takes half of your lifebefore you discover life is a

do-it-yourself project”

Napoleon Hill



“Watch your dreams, they become thoughts“

Watch your thoughts, they become words;

Watch your words, they become actions;

Watch your actions, they become habits;

Watch your habits, they become character;

Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”

Lao Tzu: Philosopher and Founder of Taoism

Dreams Thoughts Words Actions Habits Character Destiny



“We first make our

habits, then our habitsmake us”



Habits

O Knowledge is the what to do

and why .

OSkill is the how to do.

O Desire is the motivation, the

want to do.

.

Desire

Knowledge

Skill

Habit

Webster defines a habit as an often involuntary pattern of behavioracquired by frequent repetition.

A habit is the intersection of

knowledge, skill and desire



Need for SuccessDr. Stephen R. Covey

O No company can succeed until

individuals within it succeed

O No group can achieve its objectives untilits people achieve theirs

O Private victories precede Public victories

PrivateVictory

PublicVictory



Stages Of Maturity Continuum

1. Dependence: The paradigm under which we areborn, relying upon others to take care of us.

2.

Independence: The paradigm under which we canmake our own decisions and take care ofourselves.

3.

Interdependence: The paradigm under which wecooperate to achieve something that cannot beachieved independently.

Dependence Independence Interdependence



The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

1. Be Proactive

2. Begin with the End in Mind

3. Put First things First

4. Think Win/Win

5. Seek First to Understand,

Then to Be Understood

6. Synergize

7. Sharpen the Saw

PrivateVictory

PublicVictory

Renewal



Maturity Continuum



Video ClipMaturity Continuum



Seven Habits ProfileActivity



SELF SCORING 7 HABITS ASSESSMENT

Emotional Bank Account

1. I Show kindness and consideration toward others.

2. I keep promises and honor commitments.

3. I do not speak negatively of others when they are not present.

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

P/PC Balance

1. I am able to maintain an appropriate balance among the various

aspects of my life — family, friends, work, and so forth.

2. When working on a task, I also keep in mind the concerns and

needs of those I am working for.

3. I work hard at the things I do, but not in a manner that causes

burnout.

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6



HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE

1. I am in control of my life.

2. I focus my efforts on the things I can do something about rather

than on the things beyond my control.

3. I take responsibility for my moods rather than blame others and

circumstances.

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH END IN MIND

1. I know what I want to accomplish in my life.

2. I organize and prepare in a way that reduces having to work in a

crisis mode.

3. I begin each week with a clear plan of what I desire to accomplish.

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6



HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

1. I am disciplined in carrying out plans (avoiding procrastination,

time-wasters, and so forth).

2. I do not allow the truly important activities of my life to get lost

in the busy activity of my days.

3. The things I do every day are meaningful and contribute to my

overall goals in life

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

HABIT 4: THINK WIN WIN

1. I care about the success of others as well as my own.

2. I cooperate with others

3. When solving conflicts, I strive to find solutions that benefit all .

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6



HABIT 5: SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD

1. I am sensitive to the feelings of others.

2. I seek to understand the viewpoints of others

3. When listening, I try to see things from the other person's

point of view, not just from my own

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE

1. I value and seek out the insights of others

2. I am creative in searching for new and better ideas and

solutions.

3. I encourage others to express their opinions.

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6



HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW

1. I care for my physical health and well-being

2. I strive to build and improve relationships with others.

3. I take time to find meaning and enjoyment in life

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

1 2 3 4 5 6

RESULTS

Outstanding

Very Good

Good

Fair

Poor

Very Poor

18

15

12

9

63



The Character Ethics

O Almost all the literature in the first 150 years or sofocused on what could be called the character ethic

as the foundation of success -- things like

Integrity, Humility, Fidelity, Temperance,

Courage, Justice, Patience, Industry, Simplicity

and Modesty.

O The character ethic taught that there are basic

principles of effective living, and that people can only

experience true success and enduring happiness asthey learn and integrate these principles into their

basic character.



The Personality Ethics

O Shortly after World War I , the basic view of success

shifted from the character ethic to what we might

call the personality ethics.

O Success became more a function of personality, of

public image, of attitudes and behaviors, skills and

techniques, that lubricate the processes of human

interaction.

"Your attitude determines your altitude,"

"Smiling wins more friends than frowning,"



Ethics – Personality and Character

Success is a function of

personality, of publicimage, of attitudes

and behaviors, skills

and techniques, that

lubricate the

processes of human

interaction.

Although image, techniques and skills can influence your outward success, theweight of real effectiveness lies in good character

Success depends on

things like integrity,

humility, fidelity,

temperance, courage,

justice, patience,

industry, simplicity

and modesty.

Personality

Ethic

Character

Ethic



Character & Personality

Personality

Character



"A thousand-mile

journey begins with thefirst stepand can only be taken

one step at a time”



Principles and Values

O Principles are natural laws or fundamental truths

O Universal, timeless

O Produce predictable outcomes

O External to ourselves

O Self-evident and enabling when understood

O Values are the worth and priority we place on other

people, things, ideas or principles

O Self-chosen beliefs and ideals

O Internal, subjective, based on how we see the world

O Influenced by upbringing, society, and personal reflection



Centre Of Life

Is the

SOURCE of

Power

SecurityGuidance

Wisdom



Centre of Your Life

Spouse

Family

Work/

Profession

Friends/

Enemy

Money

Pleasure

Religion

Self /

Possessions

CENTRE OF LIFE

?



Centre of Your Life

Spouse

Family

Work/

Profession

Friends/

Enemy

Money

Pleasure

Religion

Self /

Possessions

PRINCIPLES



We must look at the lensthrough which we see the

world , as well as at the world

we see, and that the lensitself shapes how weinterpret the world

Paradigms . . . ?



The Power of a Paradigm

“ The word paradigm comes from the Greek. It was

originally a scientific term, and is more commonly

used today to mean a model, theory, perception,

assumption, or frame of reference.In the more general sense, it's the way we

"see" the world -- not in terms of our visual

sense of sight, but in terms of

perceiving, understanding, and interpreting”



Paradigm Shift

You could say –

its half-full

or its half-empty.

Both are right – its only the

perception.In other words the way we seethe problem is the problem – problems, at times, could be

opportunities

If you want small change, work on your behavior; if you want quantum-leap changes, work on your paradigms



54



55



A STORE MANAGER HEARD one of hissalespeople say to a customer,

"No, we haven't had any for

some weeks now, and it doesn'tlook as if will be getting any

soon.“

…………………………..



Our paradigms, correct or incorrect,

are the sources of our attitudes and

behaviors, and ultimately our

relationships with others.

STEPHEN R. COVEY



Video ClipParadigm Shift



If we want to make relatively minor changes

in our lives, we can focus on our attitudes

and behaviors.

But if we want to make significant quantumchanges, we need to work on our basic

paradigms —the way we view ourselves and

the world around us.



Examining Your Paradigms

ActivityO Have you ever had an experience where you made anassumption, only to find that you had jumped to a conclusiontoo quickly? Describe the experience

O Have you ever been to a different country or even to a differentregion in your country? What was strange to you?

O Did people act the way you expected them to? What did youthink about their actions?

O Looking back on your travel experiences now, what do youthink people thought about you? Do you believe their thoughtsabout you were probably similar to your thoughts about them?

O If you had the opportunity to get to know people in your travels,how did that change your assumptions about them?



Shifting Your Paradigms

ActivityO Think about the different routes you can take to

your home or work. Are some ways more complex

than others? Is one way sometimes more

convenient than another? Why or why not?

O Have you ever found a new way home that you didn't

know existed? What were the unexpected feelings

of traveling different routes?

O Now think about the way you interact with people.

Are there several ways to approach them? What

new ways might you try?



Seeing and Being Paradigms are inseparable from character .

Being is seeing in the human dimension.

And what we see is highly interrelated to what we are

. We can't go very far to change our seeing without

simultaneously changing our being, and vice versa



The Principle-Centered Paradigm

“ The character ethic is based on the

fundamental idea that there are principles

that govern human effectiveness -- natural

laws in the human dimension that are just

as real, just as unchanging and unarguably

"there" as laws such as gravity are in the

physical dimension.”



The Social Mirror

O Social mirror is a metaphor for the way we seeourselves because others reflect their opinions,perceptions and paradigms about us throughtheir words and actions.

O We form often inaccurate judgments and imagesof ourselves from the social mirror

Our real potential is drawn from our ownimagination



Need for a new level of thinking!

O Albert Einstein observed “The significant problems weface cannot be solved at the same Level of thinking wewere at, when we created them.

O The problems cannot be solved at the superficial level wesee them. We need a deeper level of thinking.

This new level of thinking is what the 7 habits is about

It is a principle-centered

character-based

inside-out approach

to personal and interpersonal effectiveness



“Excellence is an art won by

training and habituation.We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act,

but a habit” Aristotle



THE UPWARD SPIRAL

Learn

Do

Commit

Learn

CommitDo

DoLearn

Commit

LearnCommit

Do



P/PC Balance:The Principle of Effectiveness

O Effectiveness is the balance of Production and

Production Capability

O Production is the desired results produced

(golden eggs, or P)

O Production Capability is maintaining, preserving,

and enhancing the resources that produce the

desired results. (the goose or PC)



P/PC Balance

O The Seven Habits are also called habits ofeffectiveness.

O They are based on principles designed to bringlong term benefits.

O These are in harmony with the law called the

“P PC BALANCE”

P= Production PC= Production capacity

P PC



Video ClipP-PC Balance



Dependence

Independence

Interdependence

PrivateVictory

1 2

3

PublicVictory

4

5 6

7



Feedback & Review



Vocabulary BuilderReview Exercise

…

…

O Habits

O Live – Learn – Love - Legacy

O Effectiveness

O Dr. Covey

O Knowledge

O Skill

O Desire

O Dependence

O Independence

O Paradigm

O Public Victory - Private Victory

O Maturity

O Cancers

O Personality Ethics - Character Ethics

O

Circle of Influence - Circle of ConcernO Life is a do it Yourself Project

O Seek first to understand then to be

Understood

O PQ – IQ – SQ - EQ

O Put First Things First

O Values

O Criticizing

O Comparing

O Complaining

O Contending

O Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

O Emotional Bank Account

O Personality Development

O Lens

O Excellence

O Start with the end in Mind

O Social Mirror

O Change

O

Sharpen the SawO Be Proactive

O Wisdom

O Power

O Centre of Life



PRIVATE VICTORY

HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE

HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND

HABIT 3: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST



Be Proactive

Personal Vision

Habit



Habit

BE PROACTIVEO People are generally of 2 types : Proactive

and reactive.

We are responsible for our own lives. Our

behavior is a function of our decisions, not our

conditions.

O Responsibility ("response-ability") the ability

to choose your response according to

various situations.



Proactivity means that, as human beings, we areresponsible for our own lives.

Our behavior is a function of our decisions,

not our conditions.



Proactive Model

Stimulus Response

Self awareness

(Heart)

Imagination

(Mind)

Conscience

(Spirit)

Independent Will

(Body)

Freedom

toChoose



PROACTIVE

O Driven by carefullythought about selected

and internalized values.

O Uses “idea building”phrases such as Let'slook at our alternatives,

I can choose a differentapproach, I control my

own feelings, I can, Iwill, I prefer.

REACTIVE

O Driven by feelings, bycircumstances, byconditions, by theirenvironment.

O Uses “Idea killing”phrases like There'snothing I can do. That's just the way I am. Hemakes me so mad. They

won't allow that. I haveto do that. I can't. Imust. If only



Proactivity is grounded in facing reality but

also understanding we have the power to choose

a positive response to our circumstances.



We need to understand how we focus our time

and energy to be effective.

The things we are concerned about could be

described as our "Circle of Concern". There

are things we can really do something about,

that can be described as our "Circle of

Influence".



“

Proactive people focus their efforts in their

circle of influence causing the circle of

influence to increase

Reactive people focus their effort in the

circle of concern. The negative energy

generated by that focus causes the circle of

influence to shrink”



REACTIVE

PROACTIVE

When we focus our time and energy in our Circle of Concern, but outside

our Circle of Influence, we are not being effective. However, we find that

being proactive helps us expand our Circle of Influence. (Work on things

you can do something about.)



At the heart of our Circle of Influence is our

ability to make and keep commitments andpromises. Our integrity in keeping commitments

and the ability to make commitments

are the clearest manifestations of proactivity.



Video ClipBe Proactive



Sometimes we make choices with negative

consequences, called mistakes. We can't

recall or undo past mistakes. The proactive

approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it

instantly, correct and learn from it.

Success is the far side of failure.



Anytime we think the problem is out

there that thought is the problem”



You can choose your language

Reactive :

I must

If only

Theymade me

If I had

Proactive :

I prefer

I will

I choose

I can be



Begin With The End In Mind

Personal Leadership

Habit



Habit 2

Begin With End In Mind

O Begin with the End in Mind means to begineach day, task, or project with a clear vision

of your desired direction and destination, and

then continue by flexing your proactivemuscles to make things happen.

O Based on the principle that all things are

created twice: first initial blueprint and thenthe final product.



Video ClipFour Assumptions



A starting point in beginning with the end in

mind is to develop a personal mission

statement, philosophy or credo.

It will help you focus on what you want to be, do

and on the values and principles upon which yourbeing and doing are based.

The personal mission statement gives us a

changeless core from which we can deal with

external change.



Video ClipGoals



In developing your personal mission statement you can

use your creative ability to imagine life milestones such

as birthdays anniversaries retirement and funerals.

What accomplishments would you like to celebrate?

Visualize them in rich detail.



How many people on theirdeathbed wish they’d spent

more time at the office?

Activity



Write Five“ROLES” in your LifeThe roles that matter most

Activity



Write Your PreferredValues

Activity



A Few ValuesO My familyO My friendsO My healthO HappinessO

Learning, developing and doing/trying new things.O Having financial securityO Travelling and seeing experiencing new places and

cultures, food, places I visit and where I liveO Making a positive difference through my work and

personal lifeO Being good at what I doO Having a good personal relationshipO Arts, books, music, films, plays,



Develop yourMission Statement

What’s most important to you?What give your life meaning?

What do you want to be and to do in your life?



Video ClipDeveloping Mission Statement (Habit 2)

HABIT 2



Begin with the End in Mind

These people use personalvision, correct principles,and their deep sense of

personal meaning toaccomplish tasks in a

positive and effective way.They live life based on self-

chosen values and areguided by their personal

mission statement.

Begin with No End in Mind

These people lack personalvision and have not

developed a deep sense of

personal meaning andpurpose. They have notpaid the price to develop amission statement and thuslive life based on society’s

values instead of self-chosen values.

HABIT 2



Put First Things First

Principles of Personal Management

Habit 3



“Things which matter most should never be at

the mercy of things which matter least”

oethe



Habit 3

Put First Things FirstO “Things which matter most must never be at the

mercy of things which matter least” – Goethe

O The key to time management is to schedule your

priorities.

O It is effective self-management



Personal Management, the exercise of

independent will to create a life congruent

with your values, goals and mission.



“A major part of successful living lies in the

ability to put first things first. Indeed, thereason most major goals are not achieved isthat we spend our time doing second things

first.”

Robert J. McKain



Principles of Personal Management

It is primarily a function of ourindependent will, our self-discipline, ourintegrity, and commitment—not to short-

term goals and schedules or to theimpulse of the moment, but to the correct

principles and our own deepest values, which give meaning and context to our

goals, our schedules, and our lives.

Organize and execute around priorities.

First Things First

“D in m thin s f st is n substitut f



Doing more things faster is no substitute fordoing the right things.”

A. Roger Merrill



Clock & Compass



Clock & Compass

L dd i t th i ht ll



The Wrong Wall

Ladder against the right wall

We painstakingly

climbed the ‘ladder

of success’ rung by

rung – the diploma,

the late nights, the

promotions – only to

disco ver as we

reach the top rung

that the ladder isleaning agains t the

w rong wall .

The Right Wall

Ali i h t f l t d d



Aligning what we feel, want and do

What we feel

we should do

What we want

to do

What we

actually do

Gap in our lives

But it’s easier to live with the imbalance than

address it

Ali i h t f l t d d



Aligning what we feel, want and do

What we feel we

should do

What we want to

do

What we actually

do

Fulfilment,

the fire within

But it’s easier to live with the imbalance than

address it



If I had unlimited time &resources I’d:

Activity



Write Five“First Things” of your Life

The things that matter most

Activity

T diti l th G ti



Traditional vs. 4th GenerationTime Management

Traditional 4th

Generation

Efficiency Effectiveness

Practices Principles

Management Leadership

Schedules Relationships

Urgent Things First Things

• Checklist ApproachTh i t di



The correct paradigm • Clock: Commitments, Appointments, Schedules, Goals, Activities, what we do with andhow we manage our time.

• Compass: vision, values,mission, conscience, direction,what we feel is important and

how we lead our lives

• Checklist Approach

• Achieving and accomplishing,what we want.

• Anything else is seen asobstacles and interruptions.

• Relationships are transactional inthis way of thinking.

The incorrect paradigm

Time tool is your servant not your master. Always be readyto make adjustments if higher priorities demand.



Commitments

AppointmentsSchedules

Goals

Activities

Vision

Values

Principles

Mission

Conscience

Direction

What we feel is important and

how we lead our lives

How we manage our time



Knowing and doing what’s important rather than simply

responding to

what’s urgent is foundational to

putting first things first.



URGENCY



The Urgency Addiction

Anything less than a conscious commitment

to the important

is an unconscious commitment

to the unimportant.



“Some of us get so used to the adrenaline rush ofhandling crisis that we become dependent on it for a

sense of excitement and energy. How does urgency feel?Stressful? Pressured? Tense? Exhausting? – Sure but

lets be honest, its also exhilarating. We feel useful. Wefeel successful. We feel validated. And we get good at it.Whenever there’s trouble, we ride into town, pull out our

six shooter, do the varmint in, blow the smoke off the gunbarrel, and ride into the sunset like a hero.

It brings instant results and instant gratification”

The Urgency Addiction



What is the one activity that you KNOW

if you did superbly well and consistentlywould have significant positive results inyour

Personal LifeProfessional Life

Activity



What is the one activity that you KNOW

if you did superbly well and consistentlywould have significant positive results inyour

Personal LifeProfessional Life

Activity

If You Know then WHY are you not doingthem NOW



The Urgency Index

Activity

Directions: Encircle the number along the matrix that most closely represents your

normal behaviors or attitudes regarding the statements below



N S A Behavior/Attitudes

1. I seem to do my best work when I am under pressure.

2. I often blame the rush and press of external things for my failure to spend deep,

introspective time for myself.

3. I am often frustrated by the slowness of people and things around me. I hate to

wait or stand in line.

4. I feel guilty when I take time off work.

5. I always seem to be rushing between places and events.

6. I frequently find myself pushing people away so that I can finish a project.

7. I feel anxious when I am out of touch wuith the office for more than a few

minutes.

8. I am often preoccupied with one thing when I am doing something else.

9. I am at my best when I am handling a crisis situation.

10. The adrenaline rush from a new crisis seems more satisfying to me than the

steady accomplishment of a long-term result.

normal behaviors or attitudes regarding the statements below.

( 0= Never, 2= Sometimes, 4= Always).



11. I often give up quality time with important people inmy life to handle a crisis.

12. I assume people will naturally understand if I have to disappoint them or let

things go in order to handle a crisis.

13. I rely on solving some crisis to give my day a sense of meaning and purpose.

14. I often eat lunch or other meals while I work.

15. I keep thinking that someday I’ll be able to do what really want to do.

16. A huge stack in my “out” basket at the end of the day makes me feel like I’ve

really been productive.



The Urgency Addiction0-25 : Low Urgency Mind-Set

26-45 : Strong Urgency Mind-Set46+ : Urgency Addiction

Activity

Time Management Matrix



3 4


1 2Not UrgentUrgent

N o t I m p o r t a n t

I m p o r t a n t

• Crises

• Pressing

problems

• Deadline-driven

projects,

meetings,

preparations

• Preparation

• Prevention

• Values clarification

• Planning

• Relationship

building

• True re-creation

• Empowerment

• Interruptions, some

phone calls

• Some mail, some

reports

• Some meetings

• Many proximate,

pressing matters

• Many popular

activities

• Trivia, busywork

• Junk mail

• Some phone

calls

• Time wasters

• “Escape”

activities

Not UrgentUrgent



3 4

1 2• Crises

• Pressing problems

• Deadline-driven

projects, meetings,

preparations

• Preparation

• Prevention• Values clarification

• Planning

• Relationship

building• True re-creation

• Empowerment

• Interruptions, some phone calls• Some mail, some reports

• Some meetings

• Many proximate, pressing matters

• Many popular activities

• Trivia, busywork

• Junk mail

• Some phone calls

• Time wasters

• “Escape” activities

Not UrgentUrgent

N o t

I m p o r t a n t

I m p o r t a n t



Inefficiency

Waste

g

Survival Prosperity

Not UrgentUrgent

N o t I m p o r t a n t

I m p o r t a n t

REACTIVE PROACTIVE

DECEPTION WASTE

manage

plan

minimise eliminate



A critical skill for personal management is

delegation.

Effectively delegating to others is perhaps the

single most powerful high leverage activity

there is.

Delegation enables you to devote your energies to

high level activities in addition to enabling

personal growth for individuals and organizations.

Roles (example)S lf



O At the beginning of each week,write 1 activity of significancethat you can do in each of yourroles.

O Mark your calendar so that youare committed to those

activities. These become your

Quadrant II activities

Mission statement with Roles and Goals

• Self

• Father

• Husband• Son

• Leader / Guide

• Professional

• Neighbour / Citizen

Practice this for a month and watch how your lifebegins to shape up!

6 Step Planning Process



6 Step Planning Process

Remind yourself what is really important

Review the roles you are expected to fulfil

Identify the goals/milestones you have set under each

role

Recognise the activities which support these- Organise

weekly by reviewing what’s ahead – quadrant 2

Exercise integrity in making your choices of activities

Evaluate your previous weeks activities – learn fromyour mistakes

The Complete Six-Step Process



e Co p ete S Step ocess



Video ClipSix Step Process (Habit 3)



I t d d

7



Dependence

Independence

Interdependence

PrivateVictory1 2

3

PublicVictory

4

5 6

PUBLIC VICTORY



PUBLIC VICTORY

O HABIT 4: Think Win-Win

O HABIT 5: Seek First to understand, Then to

Be Understood

O HABIT 6: Synergize



PUBLIC VICTORY

O Private victory precedes public victory.

O Self-mastery and self-discipline are the

foundation of good relationships withothers.

O The techniques and skills that reallymake a difference in human interaction

are the ones that almost naturally flowfrom a truly independent character.



Emotional Bank Account

WITHDRAWALS

Angry words

Unforgiving

Cruel joke

Ignoring

Excluding

DEPOSITS

Understanding

Apology

Attention to little things

Keeping commitments

Consideration



148

EMOTIONAL B ANK ACCOUNT



Think Win-Win

Habit



1. Win/Win People can seek mutual benefit in

all human interactions. Principle based

behavior.



2. Win/Lose

The competitive paradigm: if I win, you lose.

In relationships, if both people aren't

winning, both are losing.



3. Lose/Win

The Doormat paradigm. The individual seeks

strength from popularity based on acceptance.

The leadership style is permissiveness.



4. Lose/Lose When

people become obsessed with making the other

person lose, even at their own expense.



5. Win

Focusing solely on getting what one

wants, regardless of the needs of others.



Video ClipThink Win - Win (Habit 4)

Courage and Consideration



I

YOU LOSE

THEY WIN

II

YOU WIN

THEY WIN

III

YOU LOSE

THEY LOSE

IV

YOU WIN

THEY LOSE

Low HighCOURAGE

High

CONSIDERATION

HABIT 4



Think Win-Win

These people have anabundance mentality andthe spirit of cooperation.They achieve effective

communication and hightrust levels in their

Emotional Bank Accountswith others, resulting in

rewarding relationships and

greater power to influence.

Think Win-Lose or

Lose-WinThese people have a scarcitymentality and see life as azero-sum game. They haveineffective communication

skills and low trust levels intheir Emotional Bank Accounts with others, result-ing in a defensive mentality

and adversarial feelings.



Seek First to Understand

Then to be Understood

Habit



Four Autobiographical Responses



Four Autobiographical Responses

O Evaluating: Judging and then either agree ordisagree.

O Probing: Asking questions from your own

frame of reference.

O Advising: Giving counsel, advice, andsolutions to problems.

OInterpreting: analyzing other’s motives andbehaviors based on your own experiences.



Video ClipHave a nice day

Listening Continuum



2. Pretend Listening

(Patronizing)

3. Selective Listening

4. Attentive Listening

1. Ignoring

WITHIN ON ’S

OWN FOR

5.Empathic ListeningWithin

the other’s FOR



We often prescribe before making a proper

diagnosis when communicating. We should first

take the time to deeply understand the problems

presented to us.

Skills of empathic listening must be built on a

character that inspires openness and trust and

high emotional bank accounts.

we usually "listen" at one of four levels:

ignoring, pretending, selective listening,

or attentive listening



or attentive listening.

We should be using the empathic listening.

Empathic listening is listening with intent

to understand the other person's frame of

reference and feelings. You must listen with

your ears, your eyes and your heart.



Diagnose Before You Prescribe

Empathic listening takes time, but not as much

time as backing up and correcting

misunderstandings, including living withproblems and the results of not giving the

people you care about psychological air.

Levels of Communication



High

Trust

Low

Low HighCooperation

___________ (Win/Win)

__________ (Compromise)

_________ (Win/Lose or Lose/Win)

S k Fi t t U d t d

HABIT 5



Seek First to Understand,

Then to Be Understood

Through perceptiveobservation and empathic

listening, these non-

judgmental people are intenton learning the needs,

interests, and concerns ofothers. They are then able tocourageously state their own

needs and wants.

Seek First to Be Understood

These people put forththeir point of view based

solely on their auto-biography and motives,without attempting to

understand others first.They blindly prescribe

without first

diagnosing the problem.



Synergize

Principles of Creative Cooperation

Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum

of its parts.

Habit

Habit 6



SYNERGIZE

O “The whole is greater than the sum ofits parts”; (i.e. 1 + 1 > 2)

O Synergy is the foundation for aPrinciple-Centered Leadership.

O The challenge is to apply the

principles of creative cooperation inour social interactions.



Video ClipSynergy – Team Work (Habit 6)



The essence of synergy is to value differences

to respect them, to build on strengths, and to

compensate for weaknesses. Synergisticcommunication is opening your mind and heart to

new possibilities.



By taking the time to really build a team,

creating a high emotional bank account, the

group can become very closely knit. The

respect among members can become so high

that if there is a disagreement, there can be

a genuine effort to understand.

Synergy and Communication



O Synergistic third alternatives are oftenbetter for both parties than their original



better for both parties than their original

alternatives.

O Valuing the various differences betweenpeople is the essence of synergy -- the

mental, the emotional, the psychologicaldifferences between people.

O Synergy can be seen everywhere in

Nature. Ecology is a word which basicallydescribes the synergism in nature

HABIT 6



177

Synergize

Effective people knowthat the whole is

greater than the sum of

the parts. They valueand benefit fromdifferences in others,

which results in creativecooperation and team-

work .

Compromise, Fight, orFlight

Ineffective peoplebelieve the whole is

less than the sum ofthe parts. They tryto “clone” other

people in their ownimage. Differences in

others are looked uponas threats.



Sharpen the Saw

Principles of alanced Self Renewal

Habit



Video ClipStory at Sea

Habit 7

Sharpen the Saw



Sharpen the Saw

O Renewal is the principle and the process thatempowers us to move on an upward spiral ofgrowth and change, of continuousimprovement.

O The 7th habit is about preserving andenhancing the greatest asset you have – “YOURSELF”.

O Four Dimensions of Renewal are physical,spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.



Habit 7 is taking the time to sharpen the

saw. You must work proactively to renew the

four dimensions of your nature physical,

spiritual, mental and social/economic.



The Physical Dimension.

The physical dimension involves caring for

your physical body eating the right foods,

getting enough rest and relaxation, andexercising on a regular basis



The Spiritual Dimension

The spiritual dimension is your center, your

commitment to your value system. It drawsupon the sources that inspire and uplift you

and tie you to timeless truths of humanity.



The Mental Dimension

It's important keep your mind sharp by

reading, writing, organizing and planning.Read broadly and expose yourself to great

minds.



Video ClipSharpen the Saw (Habit 7)

HABIT 7



187

Sharpen the Saw

Effective people areinvolved in self-renewaland self-improvement

in the physical, mental,

spiritual, and social-emotional areas, whichenhance all areas offtheir life and nurturethe other six habits.

Wear Out the Saw

Ineffective people fallback, lose their interest,and get disordered. Theylack a program of self-

renewal and self-improvement and

eventually lose the cuttingedge they once had.

Review



Public

Victory

Private

Victory

Dependence

Independence

Interdependence

Sharpen the Saw

Think Win-Win

Synergize Seek First to Understand,

Then be Understood

Begin with the End

in Mind

Be Proactive

Put First Things First

What if Individuals had not attended the Workshop?

O I am the victim; I blame everyone O Be Proactive



O I am the victim; I blame everyone

O

Life is a crapshoot; do NOT havea plan

O Who cares about first things?

O Live for the moment Think win-lose;

O I’m getting mine First, I havesomething to say, then I’ll let youtalk

O I work better alone; cooperatingmeans I lose

O Wear yourself out; I don’t have

time for myself

O Be Proactive

O

Begin With the End in Mind

O Put First Things First

O Think Win/Win

O Seek First to Understand;Then Be Understood

O Synergize

O Sharpen the Saw

Closing the Pandora’s Box



g



The story of the eagle…

Goodbye Paradigm



y g

personal effectiveness workshop ist may 24 26,2016

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