personal experiences and coping strategies debi brown copyright - debi brown (2012)

Personal Experiences and Coping Strategies

Debi Brown

www.aspiedebi.com

Copyright - Debi Brown (2012) www.aspiedebi.com

Information Processing

• Spectrum folk process less information per second, therefore:– > We perceive differently

• Some input is missed and other input is distorted – e.g. hyper- and hypo-sensitivities.

– > We understand differently• Communication differences.

– > We behave differently • Social interaction differences.


Mind, body and spirit

• Autism is NOT all about the brain!!!!!!

We have differences in:Þ Mind – brain structure and thinking style Þ Body – co-ordination and digestionÞ Spirit – likes, needs and wellbeing

which cause feelings of being different.


Monoprocessing

• There is too much information to process, so we prioritise.

• Mono-processing style – one channel at once out of the eight: – thinking, sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell,

propriosensory, vestibular.


Monoprocessing

• In social interactions, I am generally on the hearing channel so my eyes are switched off.

=> I may miss visual

information.

=> I may not have good eye contact.

=> I have not learned normal facial expressions/body language through everyday life.


Monoprocessing causes delays

• Restricts incoming information. Think traffic jam.=> Some info doesn’t ever get through. (Cars turn back)

=> Other info does get through but is delayed. (Cars wait and eventually get through).

Pain • Appearance: doesn’t feel pain.• Reality: doesn’t feel pain AT THE TIME. Feels

pain but may be so late the person does not know what caused it, so cannot learn to avoid it in the future.


Effects of small input channel

Prosopagnosia• A lot of people on the spectrum cannot see a

whole face at once and instead see only a nose, or only eyes, and facial features blur and swim around each other, so people look like monsters.

• This makes it hard to recognise people and very unpleasant to look at people or make eye contact.


Effects of Monoprocessing on Communication

• We miss information.• We believe what we are told.• We are honest and don’t have an instinct to

deceive others.• Literal interpretation of words (in absence of clues).• Misunderstanding of jokes, sarcasm, irony.• We are not good at detecting if someone is lying to us.• The rate you are speaking might be faster than the rate we

can process it.• We need more time to take in information and to respond.• We might ignore people if we do not recognise them.


Effects of Monoprocessing on Communication

• We are logical.• We are often misunderstood.• We can accidentally offend other people.• Our choices are not limited by what is socially normal.• We might talk in monologues about our special interest,

regardless of who we are talking to or their interests.• Some use a lot of words and take a while to get to the point.

Some use few words and not proper sentences.• Some auties are non-verbal.• We might interrupt – it’s hard to find a conversation gap.


My communication strategies

• I get people to check contentious e-mails before sending them.• I try not to communicate when I am angry – I might need help from

others to calm down first.• I tell people I am on the spectrum and teach them a bit about it so

they might forgive me if I make mistakes.• I think about when I saw the person last and that helps me not tell

them something twice.• I try hard not to over-do my communication with people who I really

like.• I make people laugh with my funny stories.• I use “I feel” language rather than “you made me....”


My communication strategies

• I practice socialising so that I get better at it.• I write down all oral instructions.• I e-mail to confirm appointments.• I am starting to learn to communicate my feelings and my needs.• I am just honest – about what I am good at and bad at, and about

how I think.• I give explanations where there are aspie/NT differences.• I talk about being an aspie in a positive way.


How can you help?• Be precise and literal.• If you say you will do something, DO IT!• Slow your speech and movements down.• Don’t jerk your body around or overload with chit chat.• Allow extra time for us to respond.• Don’t expect or demand eye contact.• Don’t assume someone who isn’t looking at you is not

paying attention.• If you get the wrong answer, you’ve asked the wrong

question. Try again with a more precise question. E.g. “What was the school like?” resulted in a description of the building.

• Start your explanation from step 1 not step 7.


Any Questions


Sensory Balancing

• A lot of us experience sensory input as either: too strong (hyper-sensitive = over-sensitive) too weak (hypo-sensitive = under-sensitive) constantly changing between too strong and too

weak.


Sensory Balancing

Over Sensitivities (hyper)=> reduce sensory input

• Sight – tinted glasses.• Hearing – need quiet office, walkman.• Propriosensory – Alexander Technique, yoga,

MBTs.• Smell – avoid Lush and hold breath in

perfume stores.


Sensory Balancing

Under Sensitivities (hypo)=> increase sensory input

• Touch – tight headband, lycra clothing, lots of bedclothes, squeezy toys, hugs and cuddles.

• Taste – I eat too much salt.• Vestibular – trampolining, ice-skating!• Propriosensory – Alexander Technique, MBTs.• Smell – smelly candles, I sniff my wrist!


Coloured Glasses

• Coloured glasses help because they filter out certain colours. Colours = information.

• We now have less to process.

• This directly REDUCES overload.


Coloured glasses

• Your brain is then free to do other stuff that it usually wouldn’t have enough processing capabilities to do.

• If your brain is no longer

permanently over-stretched,

you are calmer and less anxious.


Coloured glasses

• With my green glasses, I can:– See and hear at exactly the same time;– Have better depth perception;– Hear the direction a sound is coming from;– Speak more fluently (better cognitive function);– Not over-react to close proximity movement;– Shop in Glasgow city centre on a Saturday;– Be calmer.


Coloured glasses

• You can get a free NHS eye test to see if you need tinted glasses at:

Jordans Opticians, Ayr

www.jordanseyes.com.


Gluten-Free Diet

• A large proportion (maybe all) of us have

gut problems.

• I believe that we need the Gluten-free, Casein-free (GF-CF) diet.

• This diet is not scientifically proven and is therefore not recommended generally by most doctors or autism professionals.


Gluten-Free Diet

• The Gluten-Free, Casein-Free diet = not eating:– Gluten, wheat, oats, barley, spelt, malt, maltodextrin,

yeast extract, cows’ milk, monosodium glutamate and aspartame.

• This diet:– helps my gut problems;– immediately stopped my permanent stomach ache;– helps my immune system – fewer colds/flus.

• I think it helps sensory problems and communication in people with more severe autism.


Body differences

Common body differences:• Stomach aches and bowel problems if not on Gluten-

free diet or if stressed out.• Maybe no crawling as baby => affects visual

development.• Toe walking or flat-footed, thumping walking. • No arm-swing when walking.• “Odd” running.• Gripping things too tightly e.g. pens.• Muscles not working together.• Muscles overly tense.• Hypermobility (linked to proprioception difficulties). • Dyspraxia – physical clumsiness.


Physical Activities

Good physical activity = anything that puts

you in touch with your body.

• Yoga Alexander Technique• Dance Horse riding• Ice-skating Cycling• Trampolining Hill-walking• Swimming Tai Chi• Martial arts Kayaking


Alexander Technique

• A system of conscious control of the individual.

• Developed by an aspie.

• Especially helpful for those on the spectrum, who need to become particularly conscious because they can only process one sensory input at once.


Alexander Technique

• Body and mind are linked. If you feel sad, your body might reflect this by slouching.

• Body influences mind just as mind influences body.

• Good posture means the internal organs are not crammed together and the body receives more oxygen -> a happier calmer person.


Alexander Technique

• Technique uses teacher’s hands to tell pupil how to position and move their body correctly. So, pupil gets objective feedback, taken in by the touch system.

• A touch from outside wakes up the propriosensory system so it becomes conscious.

• So, you can learn how to use your body in a well co-ordinated way, even if you have a dodgy way of perceiving propriosensory feedback.


Any Questions


Emotions

• We are not always in touch with our own feelings/emotions.

• Our emotions can be too strong, confusing or delayed and meaningless.

• We probably have a lot of fear and anxiety.• We find it hard to predict other people’s thoughts

and feelings.• I don’t know what to say to make myself or

others feel better when upset.


How can you help?

• You may have to tell us what you are feeling and why.

• You may have to tell us what WE may be feeling and why!

• Explain why other people act the way they do.• Teach emotional repair tools – what to do to feel

better.• Don’t assume that we are uncaring.


Stella’s anxiety control technique

• Notice stomach pain.• Say “Yes, thank you, I have noticed you. I am feeling

anxious because...”• Visualise the pain as a dot. Really notice it, feel it and

pay attention.• Expand the dot into a circle.• Make the circle bigger.• Turn the circle into cat fur or something you find nice.• The pain is gone and the panic attack is stopped.


My Coping Strategies

• A detailed daily timetable and diary.• I work 5 times harder than other people.• Humour.• Knowledge.• I use my intelligence to compensate for my difficulties.• I work hard to understand NTs and how people think.• Self-development.• I made my own support network.• I ask other people for advice about tricky social

situations.



• I get support at church to deal with all the accumulated damage.

• Forgiveness helps healing.• Always report bullying.• I’m always learning.• I have a weekly routine where something really nice

happens 5 days per week. I get out of bed looking forward to that thing.

• Ice-skating.• Spending time with aspies and auties.• Volunteering and making a difference.



• Believing that every wound and bit of damaged soul is fixable.

• Communication.• Extreme perseverance – try, try and try again.• Extreme honesty with people I trust.• Not backing away from challenges but facing my fears.• I make something good out of my bad experiences:

– Learn something: I make up rules to lessen the chances of it happening again.

– Write something: to help NTs understand and to protect aspies from it happening to them.



• A timetable with sufficient rest.• A belief that being an aspie makes some things harder

but doesn’t actually limit what you can do.• Writing down all the compliments I get in a notebook

(Stella Macdonald’s idea) and reading it often.• Playing with children.• Taking responsibility for my health and thinking and

testing for myself – e.g. Gluten-free diet, coloured glasses; avoiding medications.

• I’ve found a few surrogate parents who help parent me now as an adult.


Example 1

• Walking into my boss’s office without an appointment and interrupting him.

• He shouted, but did not explain he wanted me to make an appointment first.

• I saw he was upset but I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I thought he didn’t like supervising me.

• I kept doing it and getting shouted at.


Example 2

• Boss: “I recommend you do not do X.”

• Me to friend: “I do not agree with Boss so I am going to do X.”

• Friend to me: “NO!!! Don’t do X! Boss wanted to tell you not to do it and he will be very cross if you do it.”


Example 3

• “Are you eating an orange?”• “Yes”.• “I can smell it.”• “I can see it.”

5 minute pause and thinking:• “Are you trying to tell me you don’t think I

should be eating an orange on this German train?”


Example 4

• Is this your watch?• Yes.• Pardon?• Yes.• Pardon?• YEEEESSSSSS!!!• I wanted you to say “Yes, thank you”.


Example 5

• “Chop this onion”.

I chopped the onion• “Ha ha ha! You have to peel it first.”


Example 6

• “How are you?”

Pause, frown, consider:• “Medium to rubbish.”


Example 7

• To save 15 minutes in the morning, I decided to eat my porridge on the bus.

• I learned this was not normal when one bus driver was laughing too much to charge me and another wouldn’t let me on his bus.

• I carried on regardless, because 15 minutes in bed is a very valuable thing!


Any Questions


What does a spectrum person look like?

• Some people have visible autism. You will see something is different about them. They will stick out.

• Some people have invisible autism. Not only invisible to you, but possibly invisible to themselves and to everyone else too.


Diagnosis

• Autism-awareness is extremely low,

even amongst health professionals.• Autism awareness is better now than in the past,

but even now, only ~50% of spectrum children are spotted and diagnosed.

• My generation is mostly undiagnosed.• Many people are only diagnosed in adulthood

(sometimes in their 70s) and many more never receive a diagnosis.


Diagnosis

• Girls and clever people are two

groups who are particularly likely

to be undiagnosed.

• A non-diagnosed aspie is still an aspie.

• Sometimes you have to ASSUME a person is on the spectrum even if they don’t come to you with that label attached.


Diagnosis

Diagnosis as an adult turns

your world upside-down.


Diagnosis

• Diagnosis has advantages such as self-understanding and a means to explain to others why you cannot be exactly like everyone else.

• Diagnosis can have the disadvantage in that you have a pervasive developmental disorder defined by a “triad of impairments”, and which means you are not normal, you can never be normal and there is no cure.


Autism-friendly language

• I do not want to be seen as “a Triad of Impairments”, as this is highly damaging to self-esteem.

• This is causing people to choose NOT to get diagnosed.

• This is causing people who ARE diagnosed not to learn about autism.

• Consider autism in terms of strengths as well as challenges.


Common strengths of people on the spectrum

• Kindness Sciences• Diligence Languages (foreign, • Accuracy computer, etc.)• Fairness/ethics Logic• Honesty Good long-term

memories• Integrity Problem-solving• Creative • Arts (performing, music, dance,

drawing/painting, etc.)Copyright - Debi Brown (2012)

www.aspiedebi.com

Celebrate difference!

• I am not better than you. I am not worse than you. Different is cool.


Any Questions


Thank you for listening

Debi is available for other speaking engagements on a variety of autism-related topics such as communication, sensory issues, interventions, personal experiences, and other topics and can be contacted via:

• E-mail: [email protected]• Web: www.aspiedebi.com


mailto:[email protected]

personal experiences and coping strategies debi brown copyright - debi brown (2012)

Documents