Personal Writing

Conferencing Workshop

Lesson Aims

• To establish what we need to ensure we are achieving the highest standards in our writing

• To look critically at our own writing and think about areas of strength and improvement.

Success Criteria - Credit

I can…give a succinct account of a personal

experiencewrite with insight and self-awarenessexpress personal feelings and reactions

sensitivelyattend to the purpose of the task in detailuse a vocabulary which is appropriate

and extensiveuse skilful paragraphing and sentence

construction

Success Criteria - General

I can…Give a reasonably clear account of a

personal experience with some sense of involvement

Express personal feelings and reactions with some attempt to go beyond bald statement

Show a reasonably sustained attention to purpose

Use vocabulary which is on the whole accurate

Use accurate paragraphing and sentence construction

Working on Your Own

• Thinking about YOUR writing piece, which of the success criteria do you think you achieved, and which do you think are your main areas to work on?

• Write down 2 things you think you did well, and 1 area to work on.

We all know the conventions ofpersonal writing:

Thoughts and Feelings

Detail and Description

Reflection

But, to ensure you are achievingCREDIT or GENERAL standard, you must

remember the Success Criteria.

• Using the Success Criteria you are going to identify the strengths and areas for improvement in some of your writing pieces.

• I will show you extracts of your peers’ personal essays, and you will think of 2 strengths and 1 area for improvement.

• You will add your ideas to the feedback sheet and present your findings to the class.

Work in Groups

We are going to look at examples which focus on 3 different areas:

o Openingso Main Bodieso Reflections

There are 11 examples intotal.

Your feedback must be constructive! Use the

Success Criteria to help you.

Openings

Example 1: Question 7

The first time I had ever really seen anything sports themed that I thought was incredibly impressive was when I first ever watched a wrestling show on my TV. I have never even shown any interest in sports never mind the harsh sport of wrestling but something about the show was just breathtaking.

Example 2 – Q.2The sickly flash of light lingered behind my retina as my mother pushed the familiar shutter button on her camera. Her smile was broad, almost like an approval of her daughter finally growing up. I had never felt like a princess before, always the clumsy figure that never seemed to “fit in” with all the other girls. My father drew me in in, wrapping his giant arms around me, they were my safety blanket. Everything from this point on was going to change for tonight was my Primary 7 leavers’ party.

Example 3 – Q.2It was mid-summer, about June I think, not a cloud in the sky, sun shining relentlessly and if you thought you were getting too warm, a cool breeze would ease you back into bliss. Pretty much the perfect day to chill out in the back door. Well it’s just m luck I’ve been dragged out of bed, a suit flung at me and my mum slowly melting my brain cells, frantically raving about some Christening.

Example 4 – Q.10A time I was told to keep a secret was when I was young at primary school. In those days I had a few friends, they were all close to each other as well. I felt a close bond to them, a protective bond, one which could not be broken. I was the clever one who knew how to take care of himself. We had returned to school on Monday and Eon had recently joined a gang called the Pollucks. A ridiculously funny name, I thought at the time. He had a close bond to them, like ours.

Main Bodies

Example 5 – Q.10

I sat still after hearing the news, hands on my head trying to process what I had just been told, bewildered, lost in a sense of shock and astonishment. I did not know whether to cry or just stare blankly at the three figures in front of me.

Example 6

At the beginning of the day, I had no idea what was going to happen. I was your average dork, trekking to university every day and gaming every night. I was stuck in a rut. You could practically see the pavement worn away where I walked every morning, six days a week. I used to have dreams; big dreams. But then I had the accident…

Example 7 – Q.2

The night before the school show I sat and read my lines as I always did. I always had this fear of forgetting my lines and everyone would laugh at me. I was certain to make sure I wouldn’t.

Example 8 – Q.10

There was no escaping it. I got to the park and no one was there, except James. He hadn’t seen Miranda since she told him, he glared at me. I could tell he wanted answers and he wanted them now. I sat down next to him, I was ready for all the questions he was about to ask me.

Reflections

Example 9 – Q.10

There is not one day that goes by that my best friend isn’t reminded of what she had done. There’s the occasional cry but I know she is strong and she won’t let this get her down again. I certainly won’t let anyone make her feel the way she did again. I will always help anyone who is in need of my help.

Example 10 – Q.10

We aren’t close anymore, we don’t really speak now actually. But he is the one person I’ll always be here for and has been there for me through so much. We promised never to lose each other but that didn’t quite follow through.

Example 11 – Q.10

This was it, the end of the night. A pink mask covered the sky as the morning drew closer. I always thought “goodbyes” were the worst, filling us up with such sadness as leave a part of our lives behind, soon to be forgotten –now I knew they were.

Example 12 – Q.10

Overall the game was one of the best experiences of my life. I also got to see the best players in the world like Messi and Ronaldo play, which helped my game. The experience was phenomenal and once in a lifetime as far as sporting performances go. The atmosphere was charged as if it was bipolar throughout the day and Barcelona managed an early victory.

Homework

• Think back to your own strengths and area for development, as well as your classmates’ feedback.

• Redraft your Personal Writing piece for MONDAY 28th May, keeping in mind the Success Criteria.