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Intimacy is founded on rationality.

Intimacy possession of inner world; possessed only by humans

The body cannot be separated from the person. To treat the body as an object is to treat the person as an object.

The human body has an incredible value and dignity as it expresses the human person.

It must be treated and presented in a way coherent with our dignity as rational and free beings.

FASHION SENSE AND SENSIBILITY

Why do we experience shame?

Why do we feel violated when something private becomes a spectacle for others?

What does the phenomenon of shame reveal to us?

Animals do not experience shame because only humans have a sense of shame ormodesty. Shame has something to do with loss of intimacy. One experiences shame only if oneis aware of ones own intimacy, worth, and personal value.

Shame is a tendency, uniquely characteristic of the human person, ton conceal sexual

values sufficiently to prevent them from obscuring the value of person as such.

The purpose of this tendency (shame) is the self-defence of the person, which does notwish to be an object to be used by another, whether in practice, or merely in intention

(Wojtyla)

Shame points to an immanent need to protect and guard ones intimacy, to protect onesvalue as a person, to avoid that the person be treated as a thing.

This is the origin of modesty, which is a constant eagerness to avoid what is shameless.

Modesty in dressing

Modesty is the guardian of intimacy.

A modest look hides in order to revealIt hides what can distract so that what is essential can be shown. (Essence of man: to be

human/rational)

Modesty and Look

To conceal the sexual value (related to the body) is to protect ones personal value.

It is to prevent that the part obscures the whole.Do not use body parts as accessories.

The eyes are the window to the soul

The face as a whole gives the clearest physical manifestation of the interiority of the

person.

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TIPS:

1) To judge the ethical value of a certain style, consider whether, in general, it fosters

looking at others in the eyes or not.2) If the style draws attention from the face toward other certain body parts, there may be an

ethical problem. (I want to be considered having a good body instead of being a good

person)3) When the sexual value is emphasized in the look of a person (sexy look), the essential

value is concealed or reduced to sexual values. (de-personalization by sexualization)

4) A provocative look, rather than achieving a unified look reflective of personal presence,obscures and discloses rather an objectifying image. (I am here, not My body is here)

Provocative Look

What is perceived is the body part to which the eye is drawn and not to a unified subject.

The person is likely to be reduced to her body as object.

From shame to love/respect

Modesty is not only a defensive mechanism to protect ones personhood. It also goeshand in hand with the longing to inspire love or respect, to inspire a reaction to the value of

a person.

Modesty and Human Relationship

When one attracts too much attention to the body, one is likely to build a relationship on a

wrong footing.When one has a modest look, the relationship one develops becomes more personal.

The other person focuses on your as a person instead of only on you as a body.

Look and Character

Our look (overall demeanor and bearing) conveys our position with respect to the other,our ethical sensibility with the other, or altruistic sensibility, other orientedness.

How we present ourselves to others in the way we dress, talk, and interact, ethically

matters.

A pleasing look conveys sensitivity to the other as persons, as subjects. A provocativelook conveys a sense of wanting to be perceived as object not as subject.

Look and Moral Sensibility

Since look is always dialogical, it also conveys our moral stand with respect to the other.

I take care of my appearance because I recognize the other as person, as someone withdignity. My look is my response to the presence of the other.

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The Look of Character

Look is an epiphany of ones spirituality. (epiphany manifestation of who one isinside)

Our look bears witness to our moral quality, our character, to the quality of our inner life.

External look is continuous with the inner character.How we present ourselves in clothing and acting is a disclosure of having or lacking

character.

Look includes ones overall being and interpersonal attitude.The look of character shows respect for the other as manifested in clothing and in relating

to the other as a consequence of ones respect for oneself as a person.

This way of relating to the other in action is characterized by refinement or finesse of

spirit.

Finesse of Spirit

Interior richness expressed in an exquisite way of behaving with the others.An expression of an interior virtue that informs all outer expressions and gives them a

certain aura.It is not something put on like a jewelry or necktie.

It is always with the person informing his or her very being.

Finesse is non-transferable.

It proceeds from the inside outwards.For ones conduct to be refined, it is necessary that ones interior world also be refined.

The look of character

A refined person always makes the other feel respected, a respect that comes from a deep

conviction of the dignity of the person.This conviction is manifested in the refined way we related to the other, in the way we

look at the person, the attention we give them, the choice of words, the tone of voice, etc.

In practical terms, a refined person knows and practices good manners and etiquette.

More Tips:

A refined person:

Minds his language (is not coarse in words, e.g. cursing, swearing, etc.)

Knows how to listen

Says please when asking for something

Says thank you for favors received

Greets the other person

Since good manners are a result of character, a person with finesse is refined wherever

she or he may be (classroom, promenade, canteen, library, road, home, store, etc.)Character is how you behave when no one is looking

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Benefits of Good Manners

Etiquette will attract people to you But most of all, it will make you respectyourself He who respects himself will earn the respect of all the world

Parting Words

Be a smart shopper. Value your dignity and body. Do not just follow the trend.

Choose clothes that do not call attention to body parts: cleavage, bare back, abs, behind.Mind your look and manners. They speak volumes about your character.

Be refined. You will not only cultivate yourself. You also help humanize the others.