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    Pimp Your Writing!

    How to kick some life intoyour writing

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    How interesting is this?

    Read the following sentences a student

    wrote in her (supposedly) descriptive

    passage about a friend:

    Dave is my friend. He is tall and thin. He is

    nice and friendly. He works hard in

    school.

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    Rate those lines

    Dave is my friend. He is tall and thin. He is nice

    and friendly. He works hard in school.

    How interesting were those lines? If you thoughtthey were dreadfully boring, put your head on

    your desk.

    If you thought they were amazingly interesting,

    wave your hands in the air.

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    yawn

    Those lines were as tired and boring as this car! Lets pimp them

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    This is better:

    As tall as Shaquille ONeal (though without

    the skill!), Dave towers over us all. It

    doesnt matter who he sits next to in class,

    hes always friendly and will help anyonewith their work. When he tutors me, he is

    as patient as a rivers tranquil flow. Its

    wonderful to have a phenomenal friendlike him!

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    Now, thats what Im talking

    about!

    Those lines were as vibrant and colorful as this pimped out car.

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    What should be in your toolchest:

    Similes: As tall as a Shaquille ONeal

    Powerful adjectives: phenomenal

    Strong, descriptive verbs: towers

    Examples: It doesnt matter who he sits next toin class, hes always friendly and will help

    anyone with their work.

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    Other tools from theprofessionals

    Metaphor

    ParadoxPersonification

    Imagery

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    metaphor

    Boring: Without dreams, life sucks.

    Pimped out:For when dreams go/Life is a barren field/ Frozen in thesnow.

    From Dreams by Langston Hughes (the mack daddy of the Harlem Renaissance)

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    personification

    Boring: The tornado was loud!

    Pimped out:She sighs clouds,/ headthrown back, eyes closed, roars/ andrivers leap

    From Uncoiling by Pat Mora (the bomb!)

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    paradox

    Boring: I really, really, really love you.

    Pimped out:What becomes more andmore secure, the longer it is battered byinconstancy and the stress we find in our

    lives?

    From Sonnets on Love XIII by Jean de Sponde (This dude had game!)

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    imagery Boring: Summer is so hot!

    Pimped out:

    I like hot days, hot days

    Sweat is what you got days

    Bugs buzzin from cousin to cousin

    Juices dripping

    Running and rippingCatch the ones you love days

    from Summer by Walter Dean Myers (a whiz-bang way to describe summer)

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    more examples of pimped outwriting

    Boring: I saw SO many daffodils!!!!

    Pimped out:

    When all at once I saw a crowd,A host, of golden daffodils;

    Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

    Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

    From I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud by William Wordsworth (the O.R.-the Original Romanticist)

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    Boring: Mom, you were a really good

    influence on your family.

    Pimped out:

    Your breath moves through the family likethe wind moves through the trees.

    From A Voice by Pat Mora (Mora has mad skills with imagery.)

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    Boring: I have a really tough decision to

    make. What should I do??

    Pimped out:

    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

    And sorry I could not travel both

    And be one traveler long I stood

    And looked down one as far as I could.

    From The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost (Robert Frost is chill. Get? Frost? Chill? Hahahaha!)

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    Hmmmm

    We interrupt this horribly amateur

    PowerPoint with a question:

    Why do you think Robert Frost chose the

    title The Road NotTaken? Why not The

    Road Taken since that has made all the

    difference?

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    Boring: I cried. A lot. And I dont usually cry.

    Pimped out:Then can I drown an eye,unused to flow

    From Sonnet 30 by William Shakespeare, O.P. (the original pimp)

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    OkNOW YOU TRY!

    Pimp this: Spring is pretty. The flowersare blooming

    Now this: That (boy, girl) is so cute!

    And this: The snow if falling. It is so cold!

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    a couple more:

    yawn: My bedroom looks like a tornado hitit.

    Have fun with this one: My (English,Math, Science, or History) teacher is so

    boring. When (he, she) starts talking, I

    want to go to sleep.

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    So, rememberAs you work on your poetry

    portfolios, ask yourself this question: Do I want my

    writing to look like this?

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    or this?