Planning a Wedding Abroad:

Advice from Expats and Travel Bloggers

ExpatEdna.com

The Bloggers

Questions courtesy of these engaged bloggers:

Jess: Canadian engaged to a Canadian, living in Malta – Mike & Jess in Malta Kaitlin: American engaged to a German, living in Germany – Diary of Sugar and SpiceLauren: American engaged to an Australian, currently traveling – Lateral Movements Susan: American engaged to an American, former expat – Splendor in the LemongrassEdna: American engaged to a Brit, living in Paris – Expat Edna

Answers courtesy of these married bloggers:

Alyson Your nationality: BritishYour spouse's nationality: AustralianWhere you met: Egypt Where you got engaged: Machu Picchu Where you got married: Sri LankaYear you got married: 2003 Website: http://worldtravelfamily.com

AndiYour nationality: USAYour spouse's nationality: ArgentinaWhere you met: Buenos Aires, ArgentinaWhere you got engaged: Buzios, BrasilWhere you got married: Buenos Aires, ArgentinaYear you got married: 2011Website: http://www.mybeautifuladventures.com

Andrea Your spouse's nationality: AustraliaWhere you met: CreteWhere you got engaged: Victoria, AustraliaWhere you got married: Hamilton Island, AustraliaYear you got married: 2010Website: http://inspiringtravellers.com

ElizabethYour nationality: AmericanYour spouse's nationality: AmericanWhere you met:  AmericaWhere you got engaged: PhilippinesWhere you got married: Private beach in the south of ThailandYear you got married: 2012Website: http://onedayillflyaway.com

EmilyYour nationality: US/UKYour spouse's nationality: ChileanWhere you met: ChileWhere you got engaged: ChileWhere you got married: ChileYear you got married: 2010Website: http://www.emilyinchile.com

Kaley Your nationality: AmericanYour spouse's nationality: SpanishWhere you met: Salamanca, SpainWhere you got engaged: Crawfordsville, IndianaWhere you got married: Zamora, SpainYear you got married: 2012Website: http://ymuchomas.com

LaurelYour nationality: CanadianYour spouse's nationality: GermanWhere you met: Shark diving in Costa RicaWhere you got engaged: Igloo in the Canadian RockiesWhere you got married: Banff National Park, CanadaYear you got married: 2011Website: http://monkeysandmountains.com

LindseyYour nationality: AmericanYour spouse's nationality: FrenchWhere you met: ParisWhere you got engaged: ParisWhere you got married: Paris Year you got married: 2008Website: www.lostincheeseland.com

MichiYour nationality: AmericanYour spouse's nationality: SpanishWhere you met: SpainWhere you got engaged: I was in California, he was in Spain (via Skype!) Where you got married: Santa Barbara, CaliforniaYear you got married: 2010Website: www.LoveMondegreens.com

Sam Your nationality: AmericanYour spouse's nationality: FrenchWhere you met: ParisWhere you got engaged: ParisWhere you got married: ParisYear you got married: 2011Website: http://totallyfrenchedout.blogspot.com

SatuYour nationality: FinnishYour spouse's nationality: British/IrishWhere you met: In Ireland, but got together in NorwayWhere you got engaged: ParisWhere you got married: SloveniaYear you got married: 2007Website: http://todestinationunknown.com

1. How did you decide on a location (where you currently live, your partner's hometown, your hometown, a neutral fourth location)? 

Alyson: We were living in London when we decided to get married. We had not log returned from a Round the World trip and were getting back into the daily grind of earning more money to pay for the next adventure. We.are both passionate about travel, we met through travel, so it seemed appropriate to use the wedding as an excuse for another trip. Neither of us wanted a big wedding, we were perfectly happy for it to be just the two of us, so the location wasn't chosen with guests in mind. We just thought Sri Lanka would be a good place to get married, I'd been before but my husband hadn't , he wanted to go and I was very happy to revisit with him. It turned out that Sri Lanka was about half way between the UK, my home, and Australia, his family home, but that wasn't why we chose it.

Andi: Buenos Aires, Argentina is the city that we met and fell in love in, so it was the natural choice for us. Plus, it would have been very difficult and expensive for my husband’s family and friends to get visas to travel to the USA and I wanted my family and friends to finally see my husband’s hometown.

Andrea: We wanted somewhere that would be a desirable location for our families and friends to travel to, but also somewhere that wasn't so far away that it would make it stressful for us to plan. The Whitsunday Islands are an amazing Australian destination and somewhere that we felt people would want to see at some point in their lives. Of all the islands, Hamilton has the widest variety of accommodation choices and we felt that it would be the easiest for everyone to get to because there is an airport there.

Elizabeth: We got married legally in Thailand because of the visa situation and then decided to have a small ceremony in Thailand to celebrate because we wanted something small and weren’t sure when we would be able to have a big wedding back in our home country.

Emily: We live in Santiago, and we decided to have the wedding here primarily because it seemed like the easiest option in terms of planning. Santiago is also the city where we met and built our relationship, so it’s important to both of us. Plus we had to consider travel arrangements – my friends and family could easily come to Chile with passports they already had, whereas Chileans need visas to visit the US. Added bonus: Santiago is MUCH cheaper than San Francisco.

Kaley: We chose my husband's hometown because we planned on living in Spain, and we thought it better to do the wedding in Spain in that case. We chose his hometown of Zamora because it's small, beautiful, and easy to do all the paperwork. Also, all his family lives nearby. It just made sense to us.

Laurel: We made a deal, I moved to Germany, but we would get married in Canada where I’m from. My family is also much larger than his so it made sense logistically as well.

Lindsey: The decision was obvious for us – life was (and is) in Paris and it was certainly a more alluring backdrop for our nuptials than my hometown. Organizing a wedding from afar while I was in graduate school wasn’t a feasible option so that also contributed to our decision.

Michi: Though we married in California, we decided to live in Spain because I thought it would be easier for me to adapt and start over there since I already knew the language, had already lived in Spain, and had good job prospects there. The first year we were married, we lived in my husband’s hometown near Córdoba, and then moved to Granada. But due to the worsening economy in Spain, his job as a nurse became unstable, so we moved to Belfast in Northern Ireland, which is where we’re currently living.

Sam: We originally wanted to do a destination wedding, but in the end, I felt too guilty about having friends and family pay so much money to attend our wedding that we decided to have it in Paris (where we live).

Satu: We wanted to get married in a “neutral” location to which everyone would have to travel. We also wanted to celebrate the big day in a place where there were plenty of activities to do from the outdoor adventures to city life.

2. How did you ask your friends and family to give up their vacation time and money to attend your wedding abroad, and what were the implications of that decision? 

Alyson: We didn't really expect anybody to come to the wedding, we made it clear that people were welcome to do so if they wished, but it was their choice. There were no bridesmaid or best man involved, no invitations. In the end my Mum and Dad came along with my Godmother and another Aunt. I was particularly surprised that they came as my brother was getting married in South Africa just a couple of months later, everyone was going out there for that, it was a huge event, our wedding was all very last minute and people had already paid for the South Africa trip. My little group was still very happy to come, despite the expense, I think it was all very exciting for them. None of my husband's family came, some of his immediate family were against the wedding, so we didn't expect, or want, them to come, the majority of his family don't travel.

Andi: My husband and I drove ourselves crazy at first trying to accommodate everyone’s budget and schedule. Then we decided that we were going to do what was best for the two of us and if our family and friends could come that would mean the world to us, but if they could not then they would be there in spirit. Deciding to have a destination wedding means accepting the fact that not everyone that you love will be able to attend your special day.

Andrea: We pretty much just told everyone about our decision to get married in Hamilton Island and hoped that they would decide to join us. Obviously we spoke with our parents about it first because there was no way we would be getting married without them coming. Some people weren't happy that they would have to travel and thus decided not to attend. It was sad to miss out on so many people that we care about being there for our special day but with most of Andrea's family being in the United States and John's in Perth, a large number of people were going to have to travel if they wanted to attend. We knew we couldn't make everyone happy so we just had to do what we felt was the right thing for ourselves. But our guests who did make the trip ended up saying how much they enjoyed it and many thanked us for having the wedding there, giving them a good excuse to take a once-in-a-lifetime holiday with their families.

Elizabeth: It would have been a big burden to ask our family to come over to Thailand for our wedding so we had a private ceremony with just us two. From air plane tickets to hotels and the actual wedding, it would have cost so much money for everyone to come over, we were happy to spend only a little and get exactly what we wanted.

Emily: I am lucky to have friends and family who travel internationally relatively frequently, so I knew that they would probably make the trip down to Chile. I did make sure to check the date with my international guests before booking anything, and my bridesmaids all stayed in our apartment to cut down on their costs.

Kaley: I could only really ask my parents, which they did happily. They even paid for my brother and (then) future sister-in-law to attend the wedding as well, a trip they could not have permitted if they had had to pay for it themselves. They had a great time! My in-laws got them an apartment to stay in for free, where they could eat breakfast, sleep, watch television, and just relax away from all the madness.

Laurel: We sent out “save the date” cards to our German guests 8 months in advance (Germans are planners). We had 16 guests from Germany who attended and they turned their trip into a vacation. Fortunately we got married in the Canadian Rockies so it was easy to motivate people to come to such a beautiful place. Not everyone was able to come of course but that will always be the case when having a wedding abroad.

Lindsey: It wasn’t so much a question as an alert – we’re getting married in six months (long story!) and we’d love for you to make it but understand if it’s too short notice. In the end, the guest list was predominantly composed of my husband’s family and friends and the final count was between 55-60 people, a perfectly intimate group. I would have loved for mom and sister to have been there but we knew that this choice would have its disadvantages.

Michi: David and I planned our wedding in 7 weeks, so you can imagine the scramble his family went through to buy plane tickets and ask for time off. Thankfully, Spain’s more flexible about such things, so we’re happy to say that everyone made it to the wedding!

Sam: Most of my family had just done a big European vacation right before our wedding and had used up their vacation days, so I didn’t feel comfortable asking them to take unpaid vacation and come back so soon afterward. Plus my husband’s family is gigantic, and we were trying to keep costs down, so we ended up deciding to invite immediate family only so no one felt pressured (and nor did our budget). I know some family members were probably slightly offended, but we couldn’t just invite one or two people and not the rest…

Satu: We were quite relaxed about it and made it clear that it was OK if it was not possible for someone to travel to the wedding. In the end of the day no matter where we got married, someone would’ve had to travel anyway, and everyone was very understanding about this.

3. Did you hire someone to plan your wedding for you, did you hire vendors yourself, or did you do a total DIY wedding? If so, what was it like to have a DIY wedding abroad? Was it difficult to source materials? Was it a cost savings? 

Alyson: We booked the entire wedding and honeymoon through Kuoni, a well known luxury travel company in the UK. The wedding was arranged by the hotel, The Lighthouse Hotel Galle. There was a member of staff in charge of organising weddings, the hotel was a popular wedding destination, we thought we would be in very safe hands with such a reputable company.

Andi: My best friend happened to be living in Buenos Aires at the time of our wedding and I hired her to be my planner. I planned for an entire year with her via Skype. She would meet with the different vendors and hire them on my behalf, however I also ordered a lot of things on Etsy and brought them with me in suitcases. There is no way I could have had the wedding of my dreams without her.

Andrea: Hamilton Island has a weddings department and you are assigned a person to look after your wedding. From there you can choose the level of service that you want from them. We ended up using quite a few of the island's services, but also sourced some vendors on our own. I joined an online forum where most of the Hamilton Island brides get together and share their experiences. This was SO valuable for me and I highly recommend that you find an online group of other brides to chat with who are getting married in the same destination as you are. We shared our stories about vendors and the actual experience on the day, who were the best island wedding planners, what the different venues were like, tips, etc. 

I found the wedding planning process to be somewhat complicated. I'm lucky that I'm organized and a good project manager because I relied a lot on myself to manage so many different vendors. Having to ship things up there was an added hassle because travelling on a plane

meant we didn't have a lot of space to take things along. But in the end things went well - I'm a perfectionist so I noticed a few things here and there that could have gone better had I been able to supervise them myself, but I doubt anyone else noticed them.

Elizabeth: I did everything myself. I contacted the hotel and set up the ceremony directly, bought the dress, and special decorations at markets and shops in Bangkok before heading down to the beach and getting the flowers and my hair set up the day before in a local town. It would have been very difficult and expensive to have any other kind of wedding than we had. Ours was pretty budget but was also very simple and easy. I personally couldn’t have done it any other way!

Emily: We hired all of the vendors ourselves. Chile is just starting to have wedding planners, but I am very organized (some might say a control freak), so it wasn’t a service we needed.

Kaley: No, we didn't hire anyone, since Mario was living in Zamora the whole time. Mario did a lot of the work, actually. In Spain, though, you usually pay for the location to do most of the work. You don't really decorate the church or the reception (although you could if you wanted). They usually do it for you. We chose the florist along with the other couple getting married there the same day (a great cost saver that is quite common in Spain!), and he went there and decorated it before our wedding.

Laurel: I did most of it myself, but hired a decorator for the day of the event, so that I could just enjoy the day with my friends and family. All of our guests were staying in a hotel, so I didn’t want to impose on anyone by asking them to help decorate. It was money well spent and much cheaper than hiring a wedding planner. It was surprisingly easy to source materials online. I had them shipped to my mom’s address in Canada, which cost the same as it would have had I planned the wedding from Canada.

Lindsey: We did everything ourselves! My in-laws came with us to visit a few venues but ultimately my husband and I took on the bulk of the work. We opted to work with a company that owns two very large apartments in the 9th, a stone’s throw from Galeries Lafayette, that they rent out for events. The upstairs room was over 100m², suffused with stunning natural light and just a few permanent features like a bar and some couches but the rest we needed to rent. This was all relatively easy to handle because we were living in Paris and not trying to plan an event from abroad. However, three years after our official wedding, we organized a wedding reception in Philadelphia for our friends and family who weren’t able to attend our Paris event and I planned this with the help of a friend who runs a wedding planning business (Angela Malicki Events). Even just coordinating invitations and venue options was challenging (luckily Angela made it as painless as possible!) so I’m glad I didn’t have to plan two events from afar.

Michi: It was a total DIY wedding. And since it was short notice by usual wedding standards on top of being a California summer wedding, you can imagine the difficulties we encountered. This is where I learned to be flexible, and thankfully my mom, sister, and best friend helped me bring it all together.

Sam: Because we were trying to keep costs down, we did a total DIY wedding. The only things we outsourced was the cake and the flowers – otherwise yours truly did all of the planning. We also booked the downstairs of our favorite restaurant and negotiated a special rate for a three course meal. I enlisted the help of a few friends to decorate the day of, and one went hiked across town to get the cake with my FIL, but otherwise we did most of the set-up ourselves. It took a ton of time and a gigantic spreadsheet to sort everything out though (plus a few gray hairs I’m sure), so if you’re extremely busy or not very detail-orientated, hiring a wedding planner would probably be money well-spent.

Satu: We had spent a lot of time in the location in the previous years, hence we knew the owners of the restaurant who did the catering very well. They helped in organizing the main components

like the marquee and food. The rest, we did on our own but it felt pretty low stress, as there was only so much you can do when you are not in the location.

4. How did your wedding costs compare to a typical wedding in your hometown/country, or to other destination weddings? 

Alyson: Our wedding would have been significantly cheaper than a traditional wedding in the UK. We probably spent slightly more than most people spend on their honeymoon for the whole thing. After all, there were no fancy dinners or receptions to book, no wedding dress, I wore trousers from Karen Millen, and no bridesmaid's dresses.

Andi: I think we probably saved around $10,000 having the wedding in Argentina versus the USA. The food and beverage costs were much cheaper there.

Andrea: Our wedding was a lot more expensive than it would have been if we had it elsewhere. That is probably because of the destination itself - being an Australian island, things come at a premium. The quality of most aspects was very high though. The food and beverages, for example, were premium, with French Champagne, expensive wines and really high quality food. So even though the price for head was high, having everyone rave about the food at our wedding was worth it to us. Because our guest list was a lot smaller because of the destination aspect, however, we probably still ended up paying less money than if we had a wedding in a place where our families live. We're both European so those guest lists would have been enormous.

Elizabeth: Not even a comparison. My wedding was small and personal which is a great way to have a affordable destination wedding. I got to really enjoy the day and the beautiful surroundings of having a fairy tale wedding in Thailand, without all the stresses. Big weddings are so expensive, stressful and overrated in my opinion. While we did miss our family and friends, getting to celebrate with them now that we are home is much more fun with no expectations.

Emily: We easily would have spent 3-4 times as much in San Francisco for the same style of wedding.

Kaley: I think that it was more expensive than the typical middle-class Midwestern wedding. I come from a place where weddings are usually done quite cheaply. Nonetheless, it wasn't like a lavish affair on the east coast. But my in-laws paid for a large part of it, and that helped immensely.

Michi: My weddings costs were probably a fourth of what most typical weddings cost in California, or in Spain for that matter. David and I didn’t want a lavish event with hundreds of people, and opted for a small, intimate wedding. We were incredibly happy with the outcome.

Sam: Because we kept things simple – a champagne reception in the park after the wedding, dinner at a local restaurant and then cake and more champagne for our larger circle of friends at our home at the end of the night, our total cost ended up being way less than your typical American wedding. It’s not for everyone, but we loved how it turned out. We got really good feedback from our friends and family about it just being a fun day spent in good company, and that was exactly what we were going for.

Satu: Considerably less [in Slovenia].

5. In these days of Facebook baby photo blockers and Tumblrs devoted to obnoxious brides, how do you keep family and friends involved in the

wedding process from afar without inundating your social media streams with unwanted wedding stuff? 

Alyson: This was a long time pre Facebook, in the days when people used telephones.

Andi: I had wedding updates on my blog every once in a while and I hardly talked about it on social media other than to announce that I had posted a wedding update.

Andrea: We made a dedicated wedding website and sent the URL to our guests with the invitations. Then they didn't hear from us until probably a month out when we sent everyone some last-minute updates with more details. I don't even think I mentioned our wedding once on Facebook. When not everyone is invited or attending, I think it's poor manners to bombard people with wedding information. Some of your friends and family member might be really interested in every detail of your plans, but most people aren't. Plus, if you share everything in advance, what surprises are there for people to look forward to on the day? 

Emily: Other than trip planning and dress emails to my bridesmaids, I didn’t really make a point to keep people updated. It’s your wedding – no one else cares as much as you do Of course, plenty of people asked, and I was always happy to answer, but I wasn’t that girl Facebooking every vendor meeting.

Laurel:  I seldom updated my Facebook page with wedding stuff and limited wedding talk to when I was speaking with friends. I don’t think most Facebook friends are really that interested in wedding plans.

Lindsey: I count myself as one of the lucky ones – I wasn’t into blogs or Twitter at the time of our wedding. My head was in the books, having just finished the summer session in grad school. Were I to plan this NOW… I would simply refrain from posting anything on Facebook.

Kaley: I'm not sure I really worried about that sort of stuff. I did try to post the pictures as fast as I could, but my parents also did a lot when they got home, showing off the pictures and telling everyone about the wedding. I'm not a huge Facebook sharer, but I did try to post to my blog about the wedding-planning process.

Michi: Using e-mail, only e-mail, and I was short and to the point. I kept friends and family updated with the date and location until the official invitations were sent out; organized carpools for guests who were coming from similar locations; and recommended lodging and hair stylists in the area for those who were coming from faraway. My cousins and sister wanted to know what colors they should wear as I had not chosen any particular color palette for the wedding, and I told them they were free to choose whatever they liked!

In fact, I didn’t use any other social media to talk about the wedding planning, though not for any particular reason. I think I was just too busy.

Sam: I am not the type of person who has been planning her wedding since she was 5, so there really wasn’t any risk of me overloading people…We put the necessary information on our wedding website, and I did write a few informational blog posts about the process for future reference, but other than that, I don’t remember involving social media that much.

Satu: We set up a password protected website for the wedding and kept all the information and updates strictly there.

6. How have you dealt with well-intentioned people who want to give traditional wedding gifts when your mobile lifestyle doesn't mesh with the

usual gift registry model? Did you refuse gifts? Set up an alternate registry? 

Alyson: We weren't interested in gifts, it didn't cross our minds to set up a list. I don't think we had any!

Andi: We do not have a mobile lifestyle, so this was a non-issue for us. However, must people knew that it would be difficult to bring presents back to the USA with us, thus the majority thankfully gave us cash.

Andrea: We were actually pretty silly about this and did a registry for traditional gifts. I knew a lot of people don't want to just give money and wanted them to know what types of things we needed since we had already been living together for years before we got engaged. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the presents we received, but we're still not settled and having to move everything around with us now is a little bit of a hassle. We already had a lot of stuff to begin with, however, and a few extra boxes probably don't matter too much at this point.

Emily: We set up a small registry in the US with things that pack well – sheets, towels, small kitchen gadgets. Luckily most people got the hint and either went that route or just gave checks, which pack very well!

Laurel: We asked for cash, but did set up an English language registry in Germany (which wasn’t so easy to find). A few guests did bring gifts, which we appreciated, but it did end up costing almost an additional $500 to take them back to Germany with us.

Lindsey: For our Philadelphia event, most guests understood this and planned accordingly. There were a couple unwieldy gifts like a pizza stone and a set of dishes, but we made it work.

Michi: I set up an alternate registry for a honeymoon in Italy using www.HoneyFund.com.

Kaley: They usually gave checks/cash, which was just fine with me. The people in Spain either gave money or gifts that we didn't have to transport very far, since we were going to live in Spain.

Sam: This was something I really struggled with, especially with the more traditional members of my family in the US who really wanted to give physical gifts. But given the electrical differences between the US & Europe, and the limited luggage capacity, it just wasn’t possible. I finally ended up setting up a small registry on Amazon.com and choosing a few items that offered international shipping for those who absolutely wanted to purchase something, but the majority of our guests gave through our www.honeyfund.com site. Honeyfund is a really great service – it gives people the feeling that they are still purchasing something, but you still have control over the funds. We set up a website for our honeymoon, and included prices for all of the fun things we wanted to do – excursions, fancy hotels, spa treatments, dinner on the beach, etc, and then people could just pick and choose. We made sure to take pictures of us doing each of the activities too so that we could send a photo with our thank-you card.

Satu: When we invited our friends and family we made clear that we’d rather them spend the money intended in gifts in the travel expenses to come and join us on the wedding day, and if they really wanted to give us something anyway, they were free to add on to our “travel fund”. We still did get some actual gifts, but these were very well thought out and often partly hand-made, ones that had lot of value for us emotionally. 7. How do you deal with well-intentioned people who want to throw you parties, showers, etc., in your hometown or another location that's not in your upcoming travel plans?

Andi: I simply had the Bachelorette party two days before the wedding in Buenos Aires and asked my girlfriends to make sure that they arrived in time for it.

Laurel: I told my friends in advance when I would be home and what dates I would be available and along with my two closest friends, we chose a date.

Michi: As it was all a whirlwind, the only thing organized was a bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas a couple of weeks before the wedding (that I was luckily able to get time off for). I sent out an email inviting close friends and family, and those who could make it, did!

The morning of my wedding, my best friend from university did take a moment to present me with a few special gifts and the meaning behind each of them. It really was incredibly thoughtful and touching.

On the other hand, I did have a friend at the wedding who thought it should be more lavish and traditional, so she tried to set up the stage for our first dance by changing the music to waltz, but I quietly went up to the manager and asked him to please change the music back.

Sam: This one was a little tough – a friend of mine wanted to do a girl’s weekend in the UK, and I was hesitating again for budgetary reasons. In the end, she talked me into it and I am so glad I went – we ended up having a blast and it was a nice break from all of the stress of the wedding planning!

8. How do you choose a honeymoon destination when you're always traveling or already abroad, and make it more special than just another trip?

Alyson: We flew to Maldives from Sri Lanka, a couple of days after the wedding. We wouldn't normally chose to visit that sort of resort island, we're more backpackers than luxury travellers, but it was nearby, easy to do and we were very keen scuba divers back then. We thought it would probably be the only time we would take that sort of trip, it certainly was pretty special, a week of diving and staying in a honeymoon suite in a lovely resort.

Andi: Our favorite country in the world is Brasil, so we immediately knew where we wanted to honeymoon. We specifically chose places in the country that we had never been to before and properties that were outrageously romantic. We also traveled to one of the most exotic island’s in the world, that just so happens to be located right off the Brasilian coast and was a dream destination for both of us.

Andrea: Our honeymoon just ended up being four nights on another Whitsunday island and then we took the entire year off to travel the following year. We always call that our "real" honeymoon =)

Elizabeth: We had our wedding and then we did nothing! We were going to head to some other islands and travel around a bit but then when we got to paradise and had the wedding, we couldn’t tear ourselves away from the beach and ended up spending almost 2 weeks sunning ourselves, eating, sleeping and other such honeymoon activities...it was just what I needed.

Emily: We never really do beach trips – our vacations tend to be more active. So for our honeymoon, we went to Aruba, which was a new country for both of us. We relaxed more than we ever have on a vacation, but there was still enough to do that we didn’t get bored just lying on the beach.

Kaley: We chose it based on the fact that I'd always wanted to go to Italy, and this was my chance to do it in a very romantic way. My husband's cousins made it their wedding present, so they paid for nice hotels and transportation (by train, a great way to travel in Europe).

Laurel: We choose to honeymoon in Canada since we were already there, but visited destinations that were new to both of us. It was very romantic.

Lindsey: Make it different than the trips you normally take – if you’re used to being very active (hiking, biking, etc.), make it relaxing. Almost five years later and we still haven’t taken our official honeymoon so we’ll see how that goes this year!

Michi: I chose a location we had never traveled to, and one that was close to Spain, as David had to return to work. We made it more special by indulging a little more than we usually would when we travel.

Sam: I travel enormous amounts for my job, so when we were looking for our wedding destination, I wanted total relaxation. I was originally thinking Bora Bora and my husband wanted to go to Thailand, but Bora Bora ended up being too far away and I didn’t want to have to deal with the “dark side” of Thailand during our honeymoon. So we started looking elsewhere, mainly in the Caribbean. I didn’t want to go to the typical honeymoon spots, and somehow ended up stumbling across St Lucia, an island that had an Anglo-Franco history and decided it was meant to be. We ended up choosing an all-inclusive resort there, and splurged for a room with a Butler, which was a ton of fun – after so many months of scrimping and saving, it was definitely nice to experience a week of luxury!

Satu: We went straight on to Italy from our wedding with a group of friends, and then few months later had the real honeymoon in Portugal for a long weekend. We did not book extravagant honeymoon accommodation etc, just picked a spot where we could do the activities we liked, eat good food and enjoy each other’s company. In a way it was just another trip, but knowing it wasn’t, seemed to be enough.

9. Did you plan a smaller wedding or gathering with friends in your current country that you know wouldn't be able to fit the bill to travel to your home country for the bigger wedding? 

Andi: Yes, once my husband immigrated to the USA we had a small courthouse wedding. My grandparents were our witnesses, since they were unable to make the trip to Argentina. Then we had an intimate dinner with some other of my family members.

Emily: We planned a party in the US 4 months after our wedding in Chile. We did not call it a wedding or do any kind of vow renewal, but I did wear my dress again after much pleading from female family and friends (ok, and because I wanted to). A family member hosted in her backyard, and we did a lunch buffet with dancing. It was low key and lots of fun.

We planned to do this from the outset because I knew some important people wouldn’t be able to make it to Chile. We only invited my bridesmaids and immediate family to the wedding itself, which turned out to be a blessing when the 8.8 earthquake hit Chile a week before our wedding. Getting even those people into Santiago when the airport was shut down for several days was a nightmare – one group actually didn’t make it – and it would have been total chaos with more guests.

Kaley: I am in the process of doing so currently. I want to do a small reception-type party this summer in the States.

Laurel: A few friends through me a bridal shower before my wedding and we held a brunch after our wedding for my husband’s German friends. It was casual but worked well and was a good opportunity to catch up with everyone.

Michi: Yes. My mother-in-law organized a wonderful reunion in the Spanish countryside for those who hadn’t been able to attend the wedding in California.

Sam: Because we didn’t invite any extended family to our French wedding, we did do a reception in the US about two months afterwards. Like our wedding, it was pretty low-key as well, with just cake and a simple buffet, but we did hire a photographer to take family pictures so that they could have some keepsakes as well.

10. How did you incorporate the culture and traditions of your fiance into your wedding without it looking cheesy? 

AndI: Our entire wedding from start to finish was created by the both of us, so it was exactly what we wanted. If it appeared cheesy in any way, we could have cared less, because it represented us and our love. Everything was in English and Spanish, so that all of our guests could follow along.

Emily: I resent the implication that the fiancé’s traditions are always cheesy! In any case, Chilean weddings aren’t hugely different from weddings in the US in terms of the ceremony. The main difference is that all weddings, regardless of budget, have a full open bar, and they last until 5 am – neither of which was a hard tradition to incorporate.

Laurel: We did a log cutting tradition that is famous in Bavaria, where the couple must work together on a two-handed saw to cut the log. It was strange for our Canadian guests, but we explained it to them and just went with it. I think people thought it was amusing. It was meant to be a lighthearted moment. Our German guests were very confused that we were getting married outside and not in a church. They were also confused when we had them blow bubbles instead of throwing rice, (which is illegal in national parks) but they ended up being more enthusiastic about it than the Canadian guests. I think all of our guests enjoyed seeing the different traditions but appreciated that we explained them in advance so they could have some idea of what to expect.

Kaley: I think we had to incorporate my traditions actually. We had a Spanish and American flag hanging up at our reception, for one. We said our vows in English and Spanish. We introduced our Spanish family and friends to the glass-clinking tradition of getting the bride and groom to kiss.

Lindsey: We went for modern flourishes in the space we decorated and the only traditional touch was our piece montée (croquembouche). My husband insisted on having it and it certainly turned heads!

Michi: We had a bilingual notary marry us, and the architectural style and feel of Santa Barbara is very Spanish. We also set up the seating traditionally so that David and I ate at the same table with his family, my sister, and cousins.

Sam: It was more so about me incorporating my traditions into our French wedding! We got married at the city hall, but we wanted to do more than just a wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am sort of thing, so we met with the Mayor beforehand and asked if we could incorporate a few things into the ceremony. He was willing to do so, so I had friends read a text in both French & English, and then we were supposed to have some music too, but there were last-minute technical difficulties. I also wanted us to have an American-style cake - luckily my husband had no attachments to the typical French croquembouche and we were able to find a fantastic American baker here in Paris.

Satu: It all welded together quite naturally, and the locals of the village we got married in added lot of their traditions to the wedding and the days preceding it, partly to our pleasant surprise.

11. When planning a wedding abroad, where did you scrimp and where did you splurge? Would you have done it differently? 

Alyson: I would not book a wedding package if I had my time over again. I think we would have done better to just go to the country and work it out for ourselves on the ground. There was so much included in the wedding package that we didn't need or want and some elements were done very badly.

We were provided with a best man and bridesmaid who made it their business to keep us apart before the wedding, it was a bit bizarre, we really didn't want all that fuss. I was provided with a hair styling session in the hotel's beauty salon. They did my hair, let's just say it wasn't how I normally do it, I came back to my room, washed it and did it again myself. Flowers for my bouquet were provided, they were lovely but the hotel seemed rather surprised that I wanted red.

A group of dancers and musicians were included in the package to walk with us, individually from room to beach. My bridesmaid wasn't happy that I wanted to take photos of my husband and the provided group. I think she was actually worried she'd lose her job for letting me out on the balcony in public sight.

We had a Buddhist style ceremony with a local priest, that was great, we lit lamps and had our fingers tied together before throwing pipal leaves, I can't remember all the details now, but we weren't at all disappointed.

The hotel organised a group of singers, they were, not the best singers ever. They also provided a wedding cake, we didn't want a cake, it wasn't the best cake ever, either. The photographer and videographer were terrible, shocking photos, again, these gentlemen were provided by the hotel. We still laugh at that wedding video, lots of cheesy poses in the hotel grounds to an accompaniment of country and western music.

We wanted an elephant at the ceremony, doesn't everyone? The hotel arranged this and charged us $400. I don't think that money went to the owner of the elephant. We probably could have arranged something similar for $20 if we had done it ourselves and the money would have gone to the people who deserved it.

It sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not, really, we had a great time, it was everything we could have wanted in a wedding, a little bit crazy, very Sri Lankan, my Mum and Dad say it was the best holiday they ever went on.

Andi: We splurged on our wedding location, photographer, champagne, and honeymoon. We scrimped on my dress, invitations, and decorations.

Elizabeth: I will never regret having a private ceremony with only me and my husband, as it was the perfect, stress free day but when I look back at my pictures and my makeup isn’t how i wanted, our a bow was not just right, I think about how nice it would have been to have others there. This is a great option for couples getting married whose families are not able to come over but of course it would have been that much more special had my closest loved ones in attendance.

Emily: I don’t feel like we really scrimped or splurged. We had everything we wanted, but nothing made me feel like we were just throwing money away.

The only thing I would have done differently was an earthquake-related snafu – after the ceremony, the caterers informed us that the wine (purchased separately from their services) hadn’t arrived. They hadn’t told us before because they didn’t want us to freak out. Cue my dad, my brand new husband and me throwing all the cash we had at my brother-in-law and sending him to the nearest liquor store. It worked out fine, but it would have been nice if we’d realized earlier and had time to get the wines we wanted instead of racing to get any old thing. Luckily the champagne came with the caterer, so we were able to drink that during our first course.

Laurel: We splurged on our location, getting married on the rooftop of a luxury hotel in the Canadian Rockies. We also splurged on a harpist that played before and during our wedding ceremony. Both were definitely worth it. I saved on table decorations by forgoing flowers and creating candle and water centerpieces instead. We wouldn’t have done anything differently. It was a wonderful day that we shared with close friends and family.

Kaley: I scrimped on guests, meaning I didn't invite the friend of the friend, if you know what I mean. We splurged on the meal -- the open bar, the food, etc. In Spain, food and drink is very important.

Sam: We saved by limiting the number of people we invited. I got recommendations from friends for the hair & make-up artists, so that helped as well. On the splurge side, one of my big tips is - it’s worth it to pay extra to do trials beforehand with the hair & make-up artist so you don’t end up with any surprises on the big day. It’s also worth it to take the time to meet with the photographer beforehand to make sure you click. These are pictures you will hopefully be keeping for a lifetime, so you want to be sure they end up meeting your expectations.

If you already live together and don’t leave on your honeymoon right away, another good tip is to book a nice hotel at least for your wedding night – it helps make the “specialness” last a bit longer, instead of just going back to your normal bedroom. We weren’t leaving on our honeymoon until almost two months later, so we got a room with an Eiffel Tower view and ordered room service & champagne, and it was a blast!

My last piece of advice is – until you actually get married, you think your wedding is about you and your (future) husband. Once you start the process, you realize it actually most about others. Everyone will have an opinion about what they think is right – your mother, your future MIL, your friends, etc, and they can at times be just as invested in the process as you are. Sometimes they do have good advice, but sometimes it is okay to put your foot down and say “Thank you for your comments, but that is not what we want”. Even if that is easier said than done…

Satu: Like in any wedding food is important… But I think the most important thing is to have a wedding that looks like and suits you personally, not to go by someone else’s wishes and standards. I’m very happy how everything went and would like to do it all again, with the same person and in the same location though!

12. If you decided to elope, how and why did you come to that decision -- and how did you explain it to your friends and family?

Elizabeth: We talked a lot about having everyone come to Thailand and planning a still small event but after researching it and trying to plan something I was so overwhelmed with the cost and task of organizing such a soiree and gave up before I even started. We explained this simple idea that we didn’t have the desire to have a big wedding and they all understood. We also asked everyone to send some some words for our day and read them together after dinner with pictures of our lives surrounding us. While I would have loved to have everyone there for my wedding day, having that special day just for us was even better.