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PLAY: Practice Leading All Year - Leading Communication Steven E. Jones, Ph.D., SEJ Consulting, LLC Sarah Smith, Young Fellow, Jim Casey Slide 2 Play Objectives By the end of the session the participants will Connect the use of self-assessment and self- knowledge as key aspects of leadership development. Experience coaching and somatic movement for creating a leadership body and framing leadership presence. Participants will practice key communication strategies for making requests. Slide 3 PRACTICE LEADING ALL YEAR PLAY P.L.A.Y. Slide 4 Tools to Learn About Ourselves & Others MBTI Using type to learn about our differences and our similarities in 4 Where we gain energy How we take in information How we make decisions How we live in the world Slide 5 Why Use MBTI? 5 Not to classify or limit people Well researched and backed by theory Internationally used and accepted. To understand oneself To understand others An indicator of our preferences Slide 6 Remember MBTI is A description of preferences, not abilities, maturity or development A way to use preferences to explore our differences and to help improve methods of communication 6 MBTI is not An excuse An explanation of everything A name or label Slide 7 Ways of Gaining Energy E Extrovert Focuses on the outside world and gets energy through interacting with other people and things. I Introvert Focuses on the inner world and gets energy through reflecting on information, ideas and concepts. Ways of Taking in Information S Sensor Uses the five senses; notices and trusts facts, details and the present reality. N Intuitive Uses the sixth sense and attends to and trusts interrelationships, theories and future possibilities. Ways of Making Decisions T Thinker Makes decisions using logical, objective analysis. F Feeler Makes decisions that create harmony by applying person-centered values. Ways of Living in the World J Judger Is organized and makes decisions quickly. P Perceiver Is flexible and adaptable and keeps options open as long as possible. Slide 8 Tools to Learn About Ourselves & Others StrengthsFinders 8 StrengthsFinder is a tool to seek out your dominant strengths and a program to focus on capitalizing on these strengths. Three books: StrengthsFinder 2.0 Now, Discover Your Strengths Go Put Your Strengths to Work Slide 9 Time to Be Clear StrengthsFinder gives you themes not strengths; help you discern strengths Strengths are the things you do consistently & near perfectly Strengths have three ingredients: Talents, skills & knowledge Slide 10 Signs of a Strength Success Instinct Growth Needs Slide 11 Signs of a Weakness Lack of Success Instinct Growth Needs Slide 12 Slide 13 StrengthsFinder Sarahs Strengths Empathy Restorative Input Intellection Developer Slide 14 LEADERSHIP IS THE ACT OR PROCESS OF INFLUENCING THE ACTIVITIES OF AN ORGANIZED GROUP IN ITS EFFORTS TOWARD GOAL SETTING AND GOAL ACHIEVEMENT. R.M. STOGDILL, HANDBOOK OF LEADERSHIP: Leading from where we stand. Slide 15 INFLUENCE T HE POWER OR CAPACITY OF CAUSING AN EFFECT IN INDIRECT OR INTANGIBLE WAYS F ROM W EBSTER S D ICTIONARY Slide 16 Speech Acts Language is not only descriptive but fundamentally creative and generative. Language is, therefore, action. Assessments and Assertions Declarations Requests, Offers, and Agreements Source: Brothers, 2005 Slide 17 Enrollment Getting a person, group, organization on board with you is the pursuit of an outcome or activity. The goal of enrollment conversations: to leave the person or parties Touched, Moved or Inspired. Slide 18 What Makes An Effective Communicator Slide 19 Talking to Connect Slide 20 P.L.A.Y.: Archetypes for Powerful Presence Monarch CenterWarriorLover Fool Slide 21 Center A place of groundedness Center is our foundation. Center is the key to harnessing the power from each of the archetypes. Slide 22 WARRIOR Warrior energy is the energy we use to bust through the barriers in front of us like a hot knife through butter. It is the energy of the Samurai, or that of a mother fighting for her child or project manager moving his or her team forward despite the breakdowns of life. Slide 23 WARRIOR Practice Get clear about what you are committed to that is larger than yourself. Stay clear about it. Remind yourself daily. Getting and staying clear is a practice, one you might choose to live. Practice the Shogun strike daily for the sake of what you are committed to larger than you. Do 10 strikes a day for each one Slide 24 MONARCH King/Queen energy is the energy we use to remain calm in the face of a storm. We are relaxed and sensing all yet we do not tighten or tense up to produce the illusion of being calm, we ARE calm. We are in our feet and our feet are on the ground. We are a rock. From this place others may find calmness too. Slide 25 King/Queen Practice Go out into public and stand in the posture of the King/Queen. Insert yourself (physically) into situations at home or work where there is discord, or an argument and practice staying centered and aware as often as possible. As much as possible, stay in any conversation that is uncomfortable while repeating the mantra in your head everything is going to be OK Hint: You are in this energy if you are able to be centered, relaxed, seeing all and connected to all while all hell breaks loose around you. Slide 26 Designing your conversation What do you want out of it? What do you know about your audience? What will you have to do to build connection? Scripting Context Effective Questions Listen for Slide 27 Using Yourself Slide 28 Making Requests Effective Requests include: What you want. Who you want it from. Conditions of satisfaction: Timeframe. Outcome you are expecting. A shared context. Complete with a response (yes, no, counteroffer). Slide 29 Agreements (Promises, Commitments) Occurs when a request or offer is met with a yes. We can actively manage our commitments. Communities are collections of agreementsthis is how we coordinate action. Affects our relationships and trust if we break or have missing agreements. Slide 30 Getting to Agreement Possible Replies to Requests Yes = Agreement No Renegotiate = Counteroffer Commit to commit 30 Slide 31 Making Effective and Complete Requests Be precise with your language. Ask for what you really want. Ask yourself, What do I want to happen or stop happening as a result of what Im about to say? Speak in a manner that fits your style and relationship. Check for understanding. Listen carefully to the response did you receive a committed response? Use gracious persistence in follow-up to a non-response. Remember, when you request, youre joining words and action. Slide 32 Practice Plan Slide 33 PRACTICE LEADING ALL YEAR PLAY Slide 34 BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD. - Gandhi PLAY