Positive Guidance Positive Guidance

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DisciplineDiscipline

Spilled milkGraffiti scenario

“OK, here are your options:jump and discover the joyof flight, or don’t jump and Ikick your butt out of the tree.

Scaring and threatening is NOT discipline.

- Discipline is teaching, training,

and guiding.-The goal is to train a child who can self-control, self-

discipline, and self-guide

even when you are not around.

Positive GuidancePositive GuidanceSuggestions:Suggestions:

1. Children feel safe and secure when they have Limits. These help a child gain self-control

3. Discipline should be relevant to the misbehavior

5. Children may rebel when parents punish rather than discipline

2. Attention is a powerful reinforcer to guide children: they often misbehave for attention

4. Positive Modeling: is a very effective way to teach children desired behavior

6. Consistency is the key to guidance. It helps children feel secure.

7. Respond to aggressive behavior in non-aggressive ways

More Positive GuidanceMore Positive GuidanceSuggestions:Suggestions:

13. The purpose of discipline is to learn self-control NOT obedience. This is the ultimate goal of positive guidance.

9. Follow through with your requests. Do not make threats.

10. Focus on their good behavior.

8. Use routines to help children know what to expect and how to manage their behavior.

11. Give reasons along with rules to help them learn why.

12. Treat children as responsible adults. Children become what you believe they are

14. Make sure the message of LOVE always gets through:

warmth humor

Types of Guidance Types of Guidance TechniquesTechniques

Marble tunnel

1. Natural and Logical 1. Natural and Logical Consequences Consequences

• Logical Consequences: should be relevant to the misbehavior

• Imposed by the caregiver to make the punishment fit the crime.

• Short in duration, not imposed in anger, provide opportunities for children to learn from their behavior

• Example: If Sally spills the paint, she must clean up the mess that is made

• Natural Consequences: occur without interference, child can see the result of their choices

• Cannot be used if the consequence will cause harm to self, others or property, or too far in the future.

• Example: If Billy leaves his bike out, it will get stolen.

2. Reverse Attention2. Reverse Attention•Ignoring the negative, reinforcing the positive

•If the first child changes his behavior, he should be immediately reinforced with a positive statement.

•When a child’s behavior is inappropriate, focus on a child who is displaying the appropriate behavior and make a positive comment

3. Redirection3. Redirection

•Substitute acceptable activities for unacceptable ones.

•Example: If he is angry at the block area, lead him to a different area of the room and introduce a different activity

•Children can be easily distracted. Get him to focus on something else.

4. Positive Statements4. Positive Statements

•When guiding children, phrase all requests in a positive manner

•Example: say, “Let’s walk to the blocks,” rather than, “Don’t run to the blocks”

•Clearly states what is expected, then help them get started

•When giving directionstalk to children on their eye level

•Let’s practice…….

DON’T – PLEASE DO Negative statement Positive Statement• Don’t sit on the counter• Don’t you ever clean

your room• Don’t hit your brother• Don’t run• Don’t go in the road• Don’t yell at me• Don’t put your dish in

the sink

• Please sit on the chair• Please keep your room

clean.• ________________• ________________• ________________• ________________• ________________

5. Limited Choices5. Limited Choices•Do not give him an unlimited choice unless he can really have what is chosen.

•Only give choices that are available.

•Example: “Do you want juice or water for a drink?” rather than, ‘What would you like to drink?”

•Give “Either – Or” and “When-Then” choices

6. Time Out6. Time Out•When a child has disobeyed a rule, she will be sent to a predetermined place to distance herself from the problem and gain composure.

•Should be a last option, limited use.

•Use a place where there are no distractions or positive reinforcers

•The time spent in time out relates to the child’s age.

STATE Assignment #8 in study guide:

• Read the 3 child rearing problems or case studies involving a child/children and their parents, a group of children, or a group of children and an adult(s).

• Suggest a positive guidance technique to be used to solve them.

7. Be a Good Role Model

• Remember that children imitate you. – Don’t expect them to be different than what you are.

If swearing is not OK for them to do, then you shouldn’t swear.

– Be polite and courteous and treat them

with respect.– Treat them as responsible people.

8. Children become what they are told they are.

Read graffiti

Match

1. Responsive to children's’ needs.

2. Indifferent to children, ignore them

3. Reject their children4. Critical, derogatory,

dissatisfied with their children.

5. Warm, understanding and accepting.

A. Hostile and antisocialB. Poor self-control, difficulty

with social interactions when teenagers.

C. Compliant with parent’s wishes

D. Happy and friendlyE. Dissatisfied with

themselves.

Matching Key

1. Responsive to children's’ needs.

2. Indifferent to children, ignore them

3. Reject their children4. Critical, derogatory,

dissatisfied with their children.

5. Warm, understanding and accepting.

A. Hostile and antisocialB. Poor self-control, difficulty

with social interactions when teenagers.

C. Compliant with parent’s wishes

D. Happy and friendlyE. Dissatisfied with

themselves.

Authoritarian: Limits without Freedom.

• Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.

• Misconduct is punished• Affection and praise are rarely give• Parents try to control children's’ behavior and

attitudes• They value unquestioned obedience• Children are told what to do, how to do it, and

where to do it, and when to do it.

Outcomes of Authoritarian Style• Obedient• Distrustful• Discontent • Withdrawn• Unhappy• Hostile• Not High

Achievers• Often Rebel

• Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a choice about a particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do or say.

Permissive: Freedom without limits.

• Parents allow their children to do their own thing.• Little respect for order and routine.• Parents make few demands on children.• Impatience is hidden.• Discipline is lax• Parents are resources rather than standard makers• Rarely punish• Non controlling, non-demanding• Usually warm• Children walk all over the parents

Outcome of Permissive Parenting

• Aggressive

• Least self-reliant

• Least self-control

• Least exploratory

• Most unhappy

• Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

Democratic: Freedom within limits.

• Parents set limits and enforce the rules• Stress freedom along with rights of others and responsibilities of all • Willing to listen receptively to child’s requests and questions.• Provides both love and limits• Children contribute to discussion of issues and make some of their

own decisions• Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind

it.• Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.• Loving, consistent, demanding• Combine control with encouragement• Reasonable expectations and realistic standards.

Outcomes of Democratic Style• Happy• Most self-reliant• Most self-control• Content, friendly,

generous• Cooperative• High-achiever’• Less likely to be

seriously disruptive or delinquent

• Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success

• SCENARIOS

• In groups of three or four develop a comic strip, case study, or story that fits each parenting style.

• Groups pass their stories to other groups and have them read them to see if they can identify the parenting style.