Professional Development Session

Jason Abellada, FL A ‘04

What Every BODY is SayingAn Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People

Joe Navarro with Marvin Karlins, Ph.D.

First Edition (2008)

ISBN 978-0-06-143829-5

(Images used with author’s permission)

The Definitive Book of Body Language

Allan and Barbara Pease

Bantam Books (2006)

ISBN 978-0-553-80472-0

(Images used with author’s permission)

(Pease 365)

(Pease 373)(Pease 373)

(Pease 368)

List three areas of the brain and their functions

Learn some tips for improving your nonverbal communication skills

Identify the two main categories that body language falls into

Learn to spot pacifying and blocking behaviors

Identify the most honest part of the body

Learn suggestions for handshakes, public speaking, and interviews

Analyze body language by section

Improve your overall ability to read people

For this workshop, body language and nonverbal communication will be used interchangeably

Defined as anything that is not a spoken word

Anywhere from 60-80% of our communications are nonverbal

Body language is more honest and reliable than verbal communications

Body language can be individual, cultural or universal

“We influence others from a distance” (Navarro)

Gestures

Clothing, Jewelry, Accessories etc.

Touch (Haptics)

Space and Distance (Proxemics)

Mirroring (Isopraxism)

The reptilian brain controls vital functions like heart rate, breathing and temperature.

(Navarro 22)

The limbic brain (or limbic system) reacts to our surroundings and is responsible for our survival and emotions. This is the “honest brain” and the focus of our discussion.

(Navarro 22)

Because the limbic brain is reactionary, our body language is “hardwired” and transmitted unconsciously.

(Navarro 22)

The neocortex is the “human brain” where engineering, calculation and high-order thinking (including deception) take place.

(Navarro 22)

Freeze (trying to hide or remain unnoticed)

Flight (distancing, turning away)

Fight (aggression, dominance, claiming space)

(Navarro 25-34)

1. Become a better observer◦ Make a conscious effort to observe body

language and your environment

◦ Focus on the “how” in addition to the “what”

◦ Observe in context

◦ Observe in clusters

◦ Practice

Observe conversations you can’t hear

Observe while talking with friends

Airport

Don’t stare

2. Most body language falls into comfort or discomfort (Navarro 15) Comfort◦ Relaxation

◦ Happiness

◦ Confidence

Discomfort◦ Stress

◦ Sadness

◦ Insecurity

◦ Displeasure

3. Read the most honest part of the body

Any guesses?

Answer: It’s the feet! (Navarro 53)

Happy feet

Pigeon toes

Observe where the feet are pointing

(Navarro 62, 64, 78)

Multi-way conversation

Social situations

Sitting and location of the feet

4. Our limbic brain wants us to pacify ourselves when we are uncomfortable

Examples of pacifying behaviors:◦ Rubbing (neck, arms, legs etc.)

◦ Touching our face

◦ Playing with objects

◦ Sigh of relief

◦ Sipping

5. Blocking behaviors is another limbic response to discomfort When we are in distress

Distancing

Creating a barrier

Examples:

◦ Covering (face, eyes, mouth etc.)

◦ Crossing arms

◦ Placing objects in front of self

Books/Bags/Purses

Lectern

Coffee cup barrier (Pease 103)

6. We leave our vital and sensitive body parts unprotected when we don’t feel threatened

Examples:

◦ Showing palms and inside arm

◦ Chest, heart

◦ Access to our personal space

(Pease 195)

7. Understand the hands

Displaying vs. hiding

Steepling (high confidence)

Interlaced fingers (discomfort)

Thumb displays (most honest finger)

◦ Thumbs up

◦ Hiding thumbs

◦ Putting hands in pockets

Palms up – seeking acceptance (weakness)

Palms down – use to assert or affirm

(Navarro 148-149)

8. Limbic eyes don’t lie Squinting

Eye blocking

Raised eyebrows

Pupil dilation / constriction

(Navarro 168,177)

9. Check the neck Rubbing neck - pacifier

Grabbing the neck (men)

Covering the suprasternal notch, playing with necklace (women)

Head tilt

(Navarro 39-40)

10. Look at the lips Disappearing lips

Pursed lips (disagreement or pondering)

Covering while talking

(Navarro 188,191)

(Pease 365)

(Pease 373)(Pease 373)

(Pease 368)

Rapport, acceptance (comfort)

Applies to walking too

(Pease 261) (Navarro 90)

Conflict, disapproval (discomfort)

(Navarro 90)

(Navarro 64)

(Anne-Marie Sorvin)

The closer you are to the front, the more information you retain

To increase your probability of not being picked on, hide in plain sight◦ Don’t sit in the back

◦ Sit to your professor’s left

(Pease 341-343)

We remember bad handshakes

Suggestions for giving a good handshake:◦ Eye contact

◦ Mirror the other person, then take a slight step back and to the side (Navarro 75)

◦ Don’t use the “politician’s handshake”

◦ Using good haptics

Minimize pacifying and blocking behaviors

Use comfort and high confidence displays

Standing to audience’s left vs. right (Pease 340-341)◦ Left: appeal to audience’s right brain (emotions)

◦ Right: appeal to audience’s left brain (logic)

People retain more information on what they see in their right visual field

The left side of your face is the better side for giving a presentation

(Pease 340-341)

Some suggestions: Give a “good” handshake

Keep elbows out / on the chair

Use steepling

Keep hands and thumbs visible

Try to avoid crossing arms and eye blocking behaviors

Since legs are used for flight, standing with legs crossed is usually a comfort display

Experiment - elevator

(Navarro 212)

Blocking behavior (discomfort)

Unopenness, Disapproval

(Pease 218) (Navarro 74)

Examples of territorial/dominant behavior

(Pease 212, 243-244, 320)

One of our primary means of protecting ourselves (after feet/legs)

Which is why hands and arms are honest and reliable for reading people

(Pease 90)

Showing palms, ventral part of arms

Steepling

Arms akimbo

Torso lean – observe direction

Taking up space – aggression, dominance◦ Puffed up chest and shoulders

◦ Cobra

Taking less space – discomfort◦ Sitting w/ arms between legs

◦ Turtle effect

“Ventral fronting / ventral denial” (Navarro 88-91)

◦ Exposing front of body – openness, comfort, not threatened

◦ Opposite – discomfort, disapproval, closed

Which Bond looks more honest?