promoting positive caregiving (in tough times)...well-being of the family (coon, 2012, p. 233)...
TRANSCRIPT
![Page 1: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times) Barry J. Jacobs, PsyDHealth Management Associates@drbarryjjacobs
![Page 2: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
Today’s TalkCaregiving in
AmericaNegative,
positive effectsMinimizing
strains, maximizing gains
Keys to caregiving
Covid coping
![Page 3: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
![Page 4: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
![Page 5: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
![Page 6: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
![Page 7: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
![Page 8: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
![Page 9: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
![Page 10: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
Family Caregiving in America53 M Americans engage in some
form of caregiving activity in a year (NAC/AARP, 2020)
Prevalence: 21.3% (18.2% in 2015)
![Page 11: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
60% women/40% men¼ Millennials; ¼ Gen-XersAverage family caregiver: A 49-
year-old woman still working at least part-time and also caring for children—”sandwich generation”
![Page 12: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Family Caregivers’ Healthcare Roles (Wolff, Jacobs, 2015) Attendant Administrator Companion Driver Navigator Technical
Interpreter
Patient Ombudsman
Coach Advocate Case Manager Healthcare
Provider
![Page 13: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
NAC/AARP 2020: 21% of caregivers said their health was fair or poor (17% in 2015; 12% in US pop in 2020)
Most stressed caregivers: Spouses, military, dementia
![Page 14: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
From Wife of Alzheimer’s Patient ”I don't think anyone can understand the
intense, crushing isolation and loneliness of caregiving unless they have ‘walked a mile in our shoes.’ I miss the intimacy we've had for more than 50 years, and I'm not talking about physical intimacy, although I miss that, too. I miss having someone to talk to or share a chuckle or one of our little ‘inside’ jokes. It's all gone! I'm not ready to ditch my marriage vows and dash out and have an affair, but I long to have a companion again--even someone to just stand and hold me while I cry the tears I've had to squelch and swallow for so long.”
![Page 15: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
Schulz: dementia caregiving associated with insomnia, depression, musculoskeletal problems, increased mortality
Roth: caregiving associated with increased lifespan, enhanced sense of purpose
![Page 16: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
“The majority of caregivers…readily endorse caregiving gains or positive aspects of caregiving [including] having the opportunity to serve as a role model, having the chance to give back to care recipients…,experiencing an enhanced sense of purpose…, feeling appreciated, and helping to maintain the identity and well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233)
![Page 17: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
Caregiving brings “strains and gains”
How do we minimize its strains and maximize its gains to make this a more positive and caring experience?
![Page 18: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Keys to Caregiving
Believe in the value of caring for yourself
Accept negative and positive feelings
Define commitments realisticallyUtilize supportSelectively separate past/presentFind positive meanings in the
sacrifices that you are making
![Page 19: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
Believe in the value of caring for yourself
![Page 20: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
Marathon Metaphor Caregiving as marathon, not sprint:
Learn the up-hills and down-hills of the course
Maintain sustainable pace Take any and all replenishment Run alongside others
![Page 21: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
Protected time RespitePhysical exerciseSpiritual practicesMindfulness/relaxation exercises
![Page 22: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
MindfulnessDaily reflection—journalingMeditationPresent engagement; staying in the
moment through caregiving tasksPositive self-talkGaining larger perspective of limits
of time gratitude
![Page 23: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
Accept negative and positive feelings
![Page 24: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
Normalizing Ambivalence
“Is it okay if I don’t always enjoy being a caregiver?”
Many caregivers have mixed feelings about their caregiving tasks
They feel guilty about their negative feelings
They then try to compensate for their negative feelings by working even harder
![Page 25: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/25.jpg)
It is normal and expectable to have negative feelings
Hating caregiving tasks is not hating care recipient
Give yourself permission to set limits on the caregiving tasks you hate
![Page 26: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
Define commitments realistically
![Page 27: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
Defining Commitments“I feel I have to do this. But what’s
the right way to do it? How much should I do?”
Take stock of individual and family development, resources
Choose consciously to define commitments and limitations/necessary balance
![Page 28: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/28.jpg)
“Everyone has limits about what they are willing and able to do. What part of caregiving will be especially hard for you? What are your limits?”
Delegating isn’t shirking dutiesAccepting compromise; “good
enough” caregiver
![Page 29: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/29.jpg)
Utilize support
![Page 30: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/30.jpg)
“Our family takes care of its own. Besides, no one can take care of her as well as I can”
Accepting help almost feels shameful, disempowering
Use supports not to avoid care but to empower you to give care for as long as you choose
![Page 31: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/31.jpg)
“Our friends don’t come around anymore. Who can I talk to?”
Social isolation increases duress Social support increases resilience 3 circles of social support—
--Immediate family --Extended family/neighbors/religious community --Professionals
![Page 32: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/32.jpg)
Find positive meanings in the sacrifices that you are making
![Page 33: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/33.jpg)
Finding Positive Meanings
“What’s the purpose of this caregiving? Why am I making all of these sacrifices?”
Lack of purpose leads to greater likelihood of resentment and burnout
![Page 34: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
“Why do you do what you do for you loved one?”
What are the values underlying your choice to give care?
![Page 35: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/35.jpg)
Karen “Shortly after I was pregnant, I left my
husband. And then after the child was born, I decided I was going to go back with him. And my parents knew it wasn’t going to work. And my mother kept saying, ‘You’ll go back and have another baby.’ And my father said to me, ‘You can always come home. I don’t care if you have 10 babies. You can always come home.’ He left that door open for me. And I did just that. I went back and had another baby and came back with two babies. And, I’ll never forget that. I always knew I could go home.”
![Page 36: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/36.jpg)
Prospective RetrospectionAka pre-hindsight“How do you think you will look
back at this time in your life 5 years from now?”
“What do you think will be important to you in the future about the choices you are making now?”
![Page 37: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/37.jpg)
How has the pandemic affected family caregivers?
![Page 38: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/38.jpg)
Isolation
71 y.o. woman whose husband with FTD is home with her all the time now since adult day care is closed and she decided to not use aides at this time
![Page 39: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/39.jpg)
Decreased servicesLoneliness --> shameIncreased exposure to loved ones’ deficitsIncreased despair
![Page 40: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/40.jpg)
Lower your standards and expectations.
Take regular self-care breaks, even if you must be in the same room.
Find simple ways to connect.Give meditation a try.Connect with other relatives
and friends.
![Page 41: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/41.jpg)
Coping with Distance34 y.o. daughter whose mother has moderate dementiaMother is in a nursing home where some residents have had Covid
![Page 42: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/42.jpg)
Guilt that she isn’t there with motherFear for mother’s lifeGrowing sense of anger and helplessness
![Page 43: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/43.jpg)
Accept realistic limits that you cannot changeUse all available technologyJournal your thoughts and feelings Connections are in the heart, if not in the room
![Page 44: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/44.jpg)
When is It Safe to Go Out?46 y.o man caring for his 77 y.ofather with Parkinson’s diseaseUnsure what to do now that stay-at-home order has been lifted
![Page 45: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/45.jpg)
Doesn’t want to put father or himself at any risk
But father is tired of being cooped up and other family members want to see him
![Page 46: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/46.jpg)
Start with medical advice
Weigh risks and benefits
Use family as sounding board
Reserve the right to change your mind
![Page 47: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/47.jpg)
Summary
Caregiving brings strains and gainsWe meet the challenges with
flexibility and determination and seek the positive and transformative
![Page 48: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/48.jpg)
Barry J. Jacobs, Psy.D. Principal, Philadelphia
Office bjacobs@healthmana
gement.com 267-408-6456
![Page 49: Promoting Positive Caregiving (in Tough Times)...well-being of the family (Coon, 2012, p. 233) Caregiving brings “strains and gains” How do we minimize its strains and maximize](https://reader033.vdocument.in/reader033/viewer/2022051921/600eaba2a83f7d63035c21ed/html5/thumbnails/49.jpg)