To contact us write to : Ping Yark c/o 127 Violet Lane Croydon CR0 4HLEmail us at : pingyark@hotmail.com Phone : 020 8239 9545 Mb 07775 824832

Ping Yark is edited by Leigh Bourne and is owned by :The Cou Cou Connection Ltd - Reg No 5995133 Soon to be at www.bajantv.com

THE MAN THE LEGEND

....FAREWELL TO....

....BUT NOT....

A recently widowed Englishlady was relaxing on DoverBeach, she looked up to see aman who was about her ownage, sitting just a few feetaway reading a book.She smiled at him and attempt-ed to strike up a conversationby saying what a lovely day itwas.He in turn responded that itwas indeed a lovely day, thenreturned to reading his bookShe persisted, "I just love thebeach, do you come here of-ten?"

"This is the first time I've beenhere since my wife passedaway six months ago." he re-plied then once more began toread his book.The woman tried again, "Doyou live around here?"

"Yes I live over in Oistins." hesaid, then resumed reading.Keen to find a topic of interestthat they might share, sheasked,

"Do you like pussycats?"The man suddenly leaped up,removed his shorts,...rippedoff her bikini pants, then gaveher the roughest, hardest andmost passionate ride of herlife .Afterwards, as her heartbeatbegan to return to normal, shegasped...."How did youknow that was what Iwanted?"The guy replied .... "How did youknow my namewas Katz????"

Should UK Adopt The Eu-ro?A cross-section survey of1000 people in the UK,made up of Afghans, Paki-stanis, Sri Lankans, Poles,Iraqis, Somalis, Albanians,Bosnians, Turks, Jamaicans,Geordies, Brummies, Glas-wegians and Liverpudlianswere asked if they thoughtBritain should change itscurrency to the Euro.

99% said no ..... they werehappy with the Giro.

Two old men sitting in a retirement home chatting "I'm full of aches and pains today Alf, how do you feel?"Alf replies "like a newborn baby Fred"

"Really" says Fred, "a newborn baby"."Yep, no hair, no teeth and I've just s**t myself"

A man asked a wizard if he could remove a curse thathad been put on him ten years earlier. The wizard said

"Maybe,.. but you will have to tell me the EXACTwords that were used to put the curse on you" - Theguy replied in a split second......."I now pronounceyou man and wife

SOMETIMES - BIG BROTHERS COME IN HANDY

There was great consternation inTottenham Court Road the otherday, when a hole was discovered

where the money tree used to be. Treeexperts have said this is the first report-ed case of the phenomenon in Britain.But we at PY know dat de money treedin get teef - and know for a fact that itgone home to get some sun and sweetwater. The tree, which has also beencalled a 'Herb Tree', has the look of anOld oak, and apparently, reeks of evil.One lucky local, unemployed GylsDuckfood, was seen weeping and wail-ing and gnashing what remains of histeeth. Tree expert Mr V. Nightingalewas seen taking bark samples and ac-cording to eye-witnesses he’s con-vinced he’ll soon cultivate his ownorchard. We wish him all the very bestCaribbean MPs are not greedy

bastards only interested inswindling large amounts of

cash". So said Phil Yurpockets, MPand newest member of the CPRRC(Caribbean Political Rags to RichesClub).

"We are worth every extra penny we canget during our stay in power, plus wework hard voting on important issueslike press releases and pay rises" he said.But Parliamentary insiders say that be-ing an MP is not just a turn at the pigtrough. Sometimes MPs can be at workfor nearly two hours a week - and manyonly have directorships and consultan-cies to help them make ends meet espe-cially now that the cost of living is wayabove the average wage packet.

‘Duh really tink we thick like pig shit’ -says Beryl Madasass of St Lucy.Sounds like the public are a mite scepti-cal..

- BREAKING NEWS -

We had fun in mind when webandied about the names of afew UK Bajans who might be

considered for the Deputy High Comis-sioner-ship.To be perfectly honest a couple of thenames were thrown in just to make upspace - especially Olivia Worrell’s - butfirm favourite all along was Dalton Ma-Conney. If we asked ten people whowould be most likely eight said Dalton -and Dalton knew nothing about the arti-cle until someone surprised him withthe news whilst he was at a funeral..Opps !Who says good news doesn’t travel fastor far ?

The new Deputy HC Tony Arthurwould have arrived by the timeyou get to read this bit. Weknow nothing about him. Zip.

Nada. All we can do when he comesalong all shiny and new is give him thecowboy test - in westerns you often seea cowboy bite down on a coin to checkto see if is solid gold all the waythrough. Well - someone will have toapply the test - be the community assay-er so to speak. Any volunteers ?

To contact us write to : Ping Yark c/o127 Violet Lane Croydon CR0 4HLEmail : leigh_bourne@hotmail.com

Phone : 020 8239 9545 Mb 07775 824832Ping Yark is edited by Leigh Bourne and is

owned by : The Cou Cou Connection Ltd - RegNo 5995133 Soon to be at www.bajantv.com

Seven Graphic Arts undergraduatesfrom the Uni-versity of EastLondon(UEL) eachdisplayed a se-lection of theirwork at an ex-hibition titled

‘Life and Movement’at The Rag Factory on Henage StreetLondon E1 fora week lastApril. High-lighted aboveis budding art-ist our veryown RichardRollins andthe two pieces shown here are from hiscollection. We’ll keep tabs on Richard’scareer - keep our ears to the ground soto speak - let everybody know wherehe’s hiding when he becomes famous !

24 YEAR OLDNeil Harveyhad been bang-ing in the goalsfor Unibondleague team Ret-ford United - itall he scored 34goals and his ef-forts helped theteam to the Divi-sion One Cham-pionship. In total he played 134 timesfor the Nottinghamshire side scoring 76goals in the process.Then earlier this month (June) Maccles-field Town Manager Keith Alexandermade another foray into the transfermarket when he took the punt andsigned Neil on a one year contract.Although born inLondon, Neilhas representedBarbados at fullinternational lev-el, includingWorld Cup Quali-fiers. "Neil hasbeen someone Ihave been following for some timenow," explained Keith Alexander. "Hescored a hatful of goals last season andirrespective of at what level you areplaying at that tells me he clearly has aneye for goal."We wish Neil, Keith and MacclesfieldTown FC all the very best for the com-ing season - we’ll all be keeping an eyeout for their results.

LONDON BORN BAJAN WITHAN EYE FOR GOAL .

Neil Harvey

Macclesfield Town BossKeith Alexander

LONDON BORNBAJAN WITHAN EYE FORDETAIL.

Richard Rollins

STARTED OUT AS A RUMOUR AND BUILT INTO A RAGINGARGUMENT IN NO TIMEAT ALL.The basics of the argument is this- Lappy was hired to play at therecent Barbados CulturalOrganisation’s (BCO) CricketExtravaganza at the Civil ServiceSports Ground Chiswick. Hisname appeared on the circulatedflyers and indeed Lappy was atthe ground with his recordingsready and available.But he did not play, the reasonLappy didn’t spin a few was be-cause other DJ’s stayed on way too long - shared the time between themselves -they hogged the set apparently.So it came as a bit of a shock when we heard that the BCO, Chairman CedricLynch in particular, now wants Lappy to pay back his booking fee. And - accord-ing to various sources Lappy has quite rightly told them to .... Book off !

DJ Martin Jay played at the Din-ner and at the Extravaganza - noplace for Lappy, Daddy Vince orany of the half dozen or so BajanDjs who are equally capable andwould’ve been more than will-ing to play at or play a part ineither event.Now, we at PY have no issuewith Martin Jay - but, the eventis and always has been Bajan ,Bajan organised with a Bajantheme. Martin Jay is not Bajan,what he is though - is a best

buddy of Chairman Cedric.So we have to ask - was that the deciding factor ? Why not a Bajan DJ ? Was itquality ? Price ? Or just plain and simple old pals act ? Well, we spoke to ourbarrack-room boys on Lappy’s behalf -thay said and I quote ...‘Lappy should tellde BCO to kiss his entire 100% Bajan backside’. Unquote.

Pretend to be constipated Lappy .......don’t give ‘em s**t !On the face of it - simple law of contract applies. More to come on this surely !

LAPPY

Its time someone startedpounding some tar - andgetting our produce ontothe shelves of the smallerretail outlets - and moreimportantly - up to themidlands and places fur-ther north like Leeds,Huddersfield and Shef-field.We know its all easiersaid than done but if wetruly want to support Ba-jan manufacturers thenthe produce must bemade accessible or at thevery least - we should betold which local outletssells what. Its not rocket-science - emailing andinforming we the mass-es would be a wonderfulstart.

http://community.channel4.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8476000511/m/3460006347

http://www.caribbeanireland.com/#caribbeanfoods

http://www.thedrinkshop.com/products/productlist.php?prop_key=Country%20of%20Origin&prop_value=Barbados&cid=39

Wetrawled the

internet tryingto locate out-lets selling Ba-jan productsonline. In ourlast issue wetold readersthat some of

our products could be obtained fromthe big four supermarkets - well - thatstatement is not 100% true. We trawledtheir product ranges and could not findany of our food stuffs available online.But we did find other online outlets andhave been informed that supermarketsin areas with high ethnic populationsare more likely to stock our producethat in say - Windsor, the place whereLegends was launched a few yearsback. Common sense really.

SIMPLE HOUSE RULES1. If you're choking on an ice cube simplypour a cup of boiling water down your

throat. Presto! The block-age will instantly removeitself.2. Avoid cutting yourselfwhen slicing vegetables bygetting someone else tohold while you chop.3. For high blood pressuresufferers: simply cut your-self and bleed for a fewminutes, thus reducing thepressure in your veins. Re-member to use a timer.4. If you have a bad cough,take a large dose of laxa-tives, then you'll be tooafraid to cough.5. You only need two toolsin life - WD-40 and DuctTape. If it doesn't moveand should, use the WD-40.If it shouldn't move anddoes, use the duct tape.6. If you can't fix it with ahammer, you've got anelectrical problem.

Sorry sarge, its all he remembers

Stephen Hawking and ChristopherReeve walk into a bar- Oh .... Wait.

"The IQ and the life expectancy of theaverage Brummie recently passed eachother in opposite directions."

“REMEMBRANCE DAY IS EMANCIPATION DAY”CELEBRATING THE 60th ANNIVERSARY OF WINDRUSH

1948 to 2008SPECIAL GUESTS - FOOD - DRINKS - ENTERTAINMENT

ACTIVITIES 4 THE KIDS - COMPETITIONS - STALLS AND MUCH MOREFREE ENTRANCE - ALL WELCOME - AN EVENT FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

CALL 020 8646 7512 or 07508 505097 for more infoIn association with BME Forum, EMC, Mitcham Youth Club,

Merton Unity Network, MREP, Merton Oasis, Merton Sickle Cell, WIFFA

@ MITCHAM FAIR GREEN CR4 3JS

WEST INDIAN FAMILIES and FRIENDS ASSOCIATIONW. I. F. F. A

SOCIAL CLUBInvites you to the

ANNUAL SUMMER EXCURSIONOn

SUNDAY 20 JULYTo

GREAT YARMOUTHAll day dancing in the main hall to the sounds of

MISTA FIXITCoaches leave at 7. 30am from Brixton Town Hall, Tooting Broadway,Prince of Wales Public House Harrow Road. Ilford Broadway leaving at

08. 30amAdults £26 Children under 14 years £16

For further info call WIFFA ticket line on 07944 589123 or visit website www.wiffa.co.uk

FOUNDATION (UK) ASSOCIATIONInvites you to their

ANNUAL SUMMEREXCURSION & DISCO

TO CLACTON - ON - SEAOn

Sunday 24 August 2008Music by Daddy Vince

Tickets: Adults £25 Children (up to 15 yrs) £15.00Coaches leave promptly at the following times:

Thornton Heath 9. 30amStockwell 10. 00am

Clacton - on - Sea 8. 00pmContact : John 8689 2566 Marilyn 8715 6101 Leroy 8669 2423 Pop 8653 7268 Ken 8969 0417 Bruce 8302 1751 Gene 8671 5382 Hendy 8771 9481

attended.Poor old UKBees - booted in the buttBarbados January 08 - and then as if torub salt into the wound, kicked againthis time in the nuts in South LondonJune 08. Both were painful blows - butthe latter was so mighty they lost thepower of speech - cos - nuh body aintsaying nuttun.Critics have said that the decision to goahead sounds like a Boo Nurse gamble- if that’s the case then the buck stopswith him and to a lesser extent hiscommittee, indeed - that Saturday nightbucks were noticeably absent. Maybelil’ Boo peep has lost his sheep !So, what now for the UKBees ? On theface of it with Herbie‘s departure theorgs’s future looks iffy at best. Rumourhas it that a request has been made byparty HQ for every UK branch memberto cough up £10 each per month. Seemslike they’ve got their own little creditcrunch going. After 14 years and a fewmillionaires - its hard to believe thatBLP HQ are having an out of moneyexperience. Nah. More likely they’refeeling the effects of ‘short arm deeppocket syndrome’.Some good news tho’ - congratulationsare in order ; Chairman Boo is due towed the lovely Carmen later this yearand we at PY certainly wish them bothall the very best - we sincerely hopealso that Boo and his investors are suc-cessful in securing ownership of ‘that’pub. Watch this space on that one.

V

Why on earth did the UKbranch of the BarbadosLabour Party (UKBees)

level their rifles and took on themight of the West Indian Familiesand Friends Association (WIFFA)on Saturday 14 June 2008 ?

Every man jack knows that among Car-ibbean associations WIFFA are unri-valled especially in terms of support -so no semi smart wallah would everhesitate to change their event date if itclashed with one by the WIFFA collec-tive, but for some reason, the BLP UKdidn’t.Man, we’ve been hearing all sorts ofwhispers and they all seem to be basedon Herbie’s imminent departure. Werethe UKBees really trying to use that andthe man’s popularity to pinch support-ers from WIFFA ? If that was the casethen they failed miserably.The UKBees held their dance in theplusher surroundings of WandsworthTown Hall - WIFFA had theirs in theless salubrious Brixton Town Hall -both were equally priced at £10.By close of play it became clear that amassive miscalculation had been made.A giant bollock had been dropped andfrom a huge height. The UKBees couldonly muster the real die-hards, and theynumbered less than a hundred. Mean-while - it was almost standing roomonly at Brixton - nearly three hundred

A NAMELESS HURRICANE -MUCH MORE TERRIFYING

Can you imagine the fear, confu-sion, and the unnerving senseof dread among peoples of theAmericas and the Caribbean

should they ever be told that an uniden-tified hurricane is heading for them -its origin uncertain, its intentions un-clear, and perhaps most frightening, itsname unknown ?Imagine what would happen if theweatherman told the masses that a hur-ricane of apocalyptic proportions com-ing and it suh big strong and turbul duhdare not give it a name ? Man peoplewould dump on the spot - and thoseidiots you often see on TV nail up afew boards and refuse to evacuatewould be off quicker than hot pupp offa shovel !De station phone lines wouldbe red hot too !

‘Wuh yuh mean it int got nuh name ?’‘Wuh itwant ?’

‘It got aeye ?’Name ornot a hurri-cane is adestruc-tive phe-nomenonand afrightening experience - we should allbe grateful that our lil’ rock lies out-side the normal path of the seasons’majority and usually its most fierce.Here’s hoping we are as untroubledagain in 2008.

The docking of SS Empire Wind-rush at Tilbury Docks June 22nd1948 has come to symbolise Car-

ibbean migration to the UK - and itbugs the bejeebuss outta me !The only Caribbean peoples on theWindrush were Jamaicans - not one StLucian, Guyanese or Bajan had setfoot on that ‘kin boat - but schoolchildren are being taught and a lot ofour second generation believe we all

arrived hereon that ship !When the Win-drush stoppedin Jamaica itwas to pick upJamaican serv-icemen who

were on leave from their units, manyof their former comrades decided tomake the trip in order to rejoin theRAF. More adventurous spirits, most-ly young men, who had heard aboutthe voyage and simply fancied comingto see England, 'the mother country',doubled their numbers.We attended a lecture a few monthsback - during the Q & A sessionsomeone suggested that the reasonWest Indians have done better in theUSA and Canada is because that’swhere the professionals, the doctors,the lawyers etc went - it was theordinary working class, the factoryworker - in other words - only crooksand dumb asses came to England andthat’s why we haven’t advanced asrapidly or as much as they. Wuhloss !

Pandemonium !

A penguin walks into a bar,he goes to the counter andasks the barman "Have youseen my brother?".The barman asks "What doeshe look like?".

SLEEPING ON THE JOB

THIS GUY HAS BALLS !...BUT FOR HOW LONG ?

A man stomps into a bar,obviously angry. He growlsat the bartender, "Gimme abeer", takes a slug, andshouts out, "All lawyers areassholes!"A guy at the other end of thebar retorts, "You take thatback!"The angry man snarls,

"Why? Are you a lawyer?"The guy replies, "No, I'm anasshole!"

So two jump cables walkinto a bar.Bartender says, "You guysbetter not start anything inhere."

LUNCH !

SOME SNAPS ... TAKEN ATHERBIE’S ANDEDWIN’SFAREWELL !!

If you’ve got a piece of Bajan arthanging in your house then chancesare Kathy and her Art Action Group

(AAG) were responsible for the sale.In the last ten or so years Kathy, Aussieborn but Bajan to the core and the realdriving force behind the sale promotionand even existence of Bajan art in the UK,must have sold thousands of works tograteful Bajans who had to be .... lets saypersuaded, as only Kathy could, into part-ing with cash.But back at the beginning though all wasnot calm below the surface.Initially Kathy had formed a group calledFriends of Barbados Art, but for one rea-son or another they failed to function. Shethen recruited others to the group but soonfound herself being pushed aside by someon the committee who felt they could doa better job. So she left them to it.Being the determined creature that she is,she handpicked another committee includ-ing the above duo and together foundedThe Art Action Group.Almost immediately the group ditchedformality and fancy words like

‘luncheon’. In came Cou Cou evenings,souse and other food parties all with thesole aim of getting Barbados art into thehome of ordinary Bajans . And it worked.

Kathy Yearwood, Gene Bovell and Marlene Bourne

But HC Pete Simmons and his own littlejealous fan club didn’t like it, rumour hasit he complained to Owen Arthur that theresidence of the Deputy High Commis-sioner was being used like a ‘greasyspoon’ and was dragging down the nameof Barbados and the office and reputationof the deputy High Commissioner in theprocess. In contrast, Pete’s home was afortress only to be graced by near royaltyand one or two hangers on.So the events stopped, but thankfully, notthe art sales.Eventually Pete was replaced and we gotsomeone a lot more sensible and profes-sional - the excellent Edwin Pollard. Un-like Piss Poor Pete, Mr Pollard and hiswife Deanna were not afraid to open uptheir home to ordinary Bajans, indeedDeanna held many garden parties to raisefund for various charities and was farmore active in and for the communitythan Pete and ...er ...er... what’s her nameever was in their eight or so years here.So, did Kathy receive assistance from therelevant ministry in Barbados ? Or anyministry for that matter. The short answeris no - it was all funded from her ownpocket and despite his grumbling and

...lets say .....lack of artistic awareness,Herbie gave her full support.Another fact to be stressed here, is that theBajan artists received 100% of the sales.No commissions were deducted.Well all the screw holes have been filledin at the Yearwood’s former home andmost the art works have been whiskedaway back to Barbados - question is...what now for sale and supply of Bajan artin the UK ? Is that it now that Kathy andHerbie are gone ? Sadly, there is alreadyrumour that the gallery at the mission is tobe closed.We fear the worse - but watch this space.

ART ACTION GROUP

We were paid a visit in May by Dr TheHon David C. Estwick Minister ofHealth National Insurance and SocialSecurity. Hespoke and had aQ & A sessionwith an audiencemade up mostlyof the usual sus-pects at the HighCommission Tot-tenham Court RdLondon. .

The West Indian Family andFriends Association (WIFFA)held a week long series of events

which started Sunday 8th June withtheir Annual Church Service of Thanks-giving at St Augustine’s Church, Toot-ing.On Monday 9th they had a quiz night atthe Taylor Road Centre, Mitcham. OnWednesday 11th they held a Breast Can-cer Seminar.The highlight of the week came onThursday 12th when a seminar washeld on Preventing Extreme Violenceand Understanding Islam, it was jointlyhosted by WIFFA and the Ethnic Mi-nority Centre (EMC) and was chairedby Tony who is also Vice chair of theEMC. The two speakers at the seminarare both leading scholars in the teach-ings of Islam, Dr Abu Bakarr MasonMD and Dr Iftikahar Ayaz OBE, aretired Director of Education from Tan-zania and a worldwide advocate oncurrent global issues connected withIslam.It was a lively well attended session the

WIFFA’s NEW BUS

WIFFA ChairmanTony Sandiford

aim of which was to raise awarenessand understanding of Islam.Saturday 14th they held a FundraisingDANCE in aid of Sickle Cell at Lam-beth Town Hall where and over 300attended as mentioned earlier.Pictured above is the bus bought andowned by WIFFA but which will bemaintained and occasionally sharedthrough arrangement with MertonCouncil. Progress. This is what wemean when we describe WIFFA asbeing head and shoulders above anyother org of Caribbean make up. TheWIFFA name and logo will be appliedand visible for all to see in the not toodistant future. WIFFA can be foundat : www.crystal-web.co.uk/wiffa

New members are welcome.

All these years and nothing to show for it. Ifthere is one thing that we can be sure of is thatwe were very poorly served by our leaders inthe Bajan community. Leaders who caredmore about lining their pockets than abouthelping to erect a lasting legacy to our pres-ence here. It is indeed hard to believe that this Bajancommunity at one time or other included thelikes of an Errol Barrow, a Grantley Adams,even a Tom Adams, a Leroy Harewood, aPeter Blackman Sr, a Jeff Crawford, or a HalAustin, to name but a few eminent Bajans. Our leaders are to be found in the Bajanorganisations that abound in this country.Most of these leaders ought to be ashamed ofthe shabby way in which they have treated ourcommunity. A community a long long wayfrom home. For years we’ve watched all kinds oforganisations use the name Barbados as acode for easy quick money and to line thepockets of a few people. What happens to allthe dances, balls, dinners, raffles, excursions,cricket matches, barbecues, parties, get to-gethers and other fundraising events and themoney these raise? Apart from a few brokenor second-hand wheelchairs, the odd second-hand computer or some second-hand books.Where has all the money gone? Yes wherehas all that money gone? It is about time the Bajan community stopraping itself to line the pockets of a few pettycrooks, community hustlers and pimps. It istime we name and shame them one and all.(Let me say there are a few who are doing agreat job, but oh dear, we can count them on

one finger of one hand). Unless these crooksare prepared to run fully functioning democratic organisations, not only should they benamed and shamed, we must stop supportingthem. Unless these villains, pimps and pettyhustlers are prepared to account for everypenny they collect, then do not part with yourhard earned cash. Unless they can show uswhat they have done with our money, andthen I say no more, let them find anotherscam, let them try working for an honest pound. The scoundrels are very easy to spot,where we have organisations with a chair orpresident for life, a definite suspect, where thesecretary and treasurer have held the sameoffice for years and years, another dead give-away.These are the organisations to run a milefrom; they are usually led by a bunch ofcrooks. Let us join hands and rid the Bajancommunity of these blood sucking communitypimps and petty hustlers who will sell theirvery mothers in the interest of lining theirpockets. Let there be no hiding place for thesevillains. Let the good Bajan folk take back ourcommunity and only support those organisa-tions doing worthy work. We need to build institutions that will standfor something, organisations that will showcare and compassion for our elderly and ourdisabled senior citizens, or those that willguide our youth. We must stop this legalisedfinancial raping of our community by suchundesirable elements. I shall start naming and shaming some ofthose organisations and the bloodsuckersthat run them in a future follow up article.

Sixty years in the United Kingdom and it is like we were never here. After60 years, where are our great halls of learning, culture, institutes, cen-tres of our art, exhibition halls of our presence in this country? Where

and what are the legacies that we must leave our children and grandchildren?

When was the lasttime you sat downin front of a bowl

of breadfruit cou cou andsteam fish ? Can’t remem-ber ? Then what about aplate of ‘hard food’ - yam,sweet potato etc ? No ? YuhMout’ watering yet ?If you live south of the riverand want real Bajan farethen either guh home andharass your dear old ma -or call June. Many of us do,but loads uh wunna must learn that Bajan cuisine does not begin and endwith pudding n’ souse or cornmeal cou cou. All kinds uh stew, rice with orwithout peas split or otherwise, well seasoned meats - not the sprinkle uhsalt and lil’ black pepper seasoning yuh duh see on TV, no suh, she makesand uses only traditional seasonings. And sweet things too, sugar cakes,sweet bread, turnovers, pudding and all kinds uh cakes, and lemme tell yuh,if it ever becomes possible to eat yourself thin then no matter how fast yougot there you’d still be second in the queue at June’s door. So if you everfeel the urge to re-familiarise your taste buds and for traditional Bajan fare -then it has to be June at JR Calypso.

ITS THE FOOD YOUR MAMA USE TO MAKE !Contact her at : richardrollins07@aol.com - or- 0208 656 1769

DUH NEARLY GET AWAY WIDIT - BUT WE PYERS ARE EV-ER VIGILANT - WE NEVERMISS AN OPPORTUNITY TOPISS TAKE !!The Cricket Legends of Barbados visit-ed London in June to promote the WestIndies vs. England test matches takingplace in early 2009 and specifically thematches being played in Barbados.The focus of the visit were three highprofile events organised by the Barba-dos Tourism Authority (BTA) in part-nership with the ProfessionalCricketers’ Association.Included in the visiting Legends wereSir Everton Weekes, Wes Hall, CharlieGriffith, Gordon Greenidge and Des-mond Haynes.On June 5 a special Gala Dinner in theLegends honour was held at a CentralLondon hotel. On June 6 there was acorporate cricket day at Wormsley, thecricket ground owned by the late SirPaul Getty.The highlight of the visit though was aTwenty20 cricket match held on June 8between the Barbados Legends and theProfessional Cricket Association Mas-ters at the famous Brit (formerly Ken-nington) Oval in London.

In a press release Petra Roach, Europe-an Vice President of Marketing & Salesat the BTA said, "It is a privilege towelcome our esteemed Legends to Eng-land to promote Barbados’s participa-tion in the 2009 West Indies vs.England test series. The events we areholding, particularly the Twenty20match at the Brit Oval, will be a uniqueopportunity for key influencers andcricket fans to meet with our Legendsand to see them play. We Barbadiansare renowned for our love of cricket, soit is only natural that England fans fol-lowing next year’s test series will wantto base themselves in Barbados."

Well, all very impressive. But - it just sohappens that the very day the 20/20match was being held at the Oval - theevent designed or intended to marketthe Barbados leg of the England tourpresumably to England fans like thenow world famous barmy army - thatsame army and most England fans wereat the third test in Nottingham - nearly200 miles away - or in front of televi-sions at home or in bars - watchingtheir team - England - whoop the corblimey outta the visiting New Zealandteam. Wuhloss !!

Duh nearly get way wid it !!And only PY will ask questions like -

Two eggs sitting on a kitchen table.One of them spots a whisk and

asks: "What's that?"The other egg looks puzzled and

replies: "Beats me"

which well informed BTA officialdropped that particular bollock ? Whomissed the date clash ?Two days after the 20/20 match wewent to the Barmy Army website - itsaid ;‘Tours involving Barbados and Trinidadare particularly near capacity so if youwish to go to the Jamaica and Antigua

Tests then there is still availability on thetour packages.’

Geez man ! Who was the marketingexercise aimed at then ? Did anybodybother to contact the Barmy Army ?We did. Is there any follow-up advertis-ing at the Oval orother Englandgrounds ? And an-other thing - guesswhose banner bold-ly sits across thetop of the BarmyArmy’s websitetour pages ? Here’sa clue - It claims tobe the official spiritof English testmatch grounds dontcha know !Yup - its Cockspur ! Did they talk toeach other ? The mind boggles.

That 20/20 match musta been plannedwell in advance cos - its not possible tophone up the Oval a few weeks beforeand book it. Yet two weeks before anemail was circulated telling us aboutthe match urging our attendance - andwe obliged - the organisers must havebeen well relieved to see the secondarymarket arrive- cos otherwise the Ovalwhich has a capacity of 23,000would’ve been empty.....er. They

chased the primary white English mar-ket and failed miserably because no onebothered or thought to check the Eng-land cricket team’s itinerary. Not theirfault folks ... not their fault .... that sortof information was kept secret in news-papers, magazines and on the internet.Hee Hee !

The last time England played a testmatch in Barbados you were hardpressed to spot a black face - rememberthe TV scenes ? Looks like that scenar-io is destined to be replayed accordingto the Barmy Army barmpots.

So come on BTA plebs - who was thebrains behind the operation ? who’sgonna admit to dropping that ratherlarge hairy spherical object ? Mind you- heaven forbid - maybe - just maybe -Ping Yark has got it all wrong ! Maybethe exercise has been justified - deemeda success even and spun accordingly !Go on then peeps - bowl us a googly !

EMBARRASSED

Here are a fewcrowd picstaken at the

recent Cricket Extrav-aganza at ChiswickWest London on abeautiful sunny day -wide open space andnuff nuff people.The Barbados Cultur-al Organisationshould be proud oftheir efforts, cos de-spite gripes about the

distance be-tween thecar park andthe ground,the state ofthe toilets,nothing forthe ladiesand less forthe kiddies,the event ap-

peared well organ-ised and was properlysupervised. The aimof the extravaganzawas to raise moneyfor charitable purpos-es - we hope theyraised thousands andbenefit many. Butlets expand the eventto involve and enter-tain all members ofthe family - not just

the cricket lovers, remember,the bottom line is entertain-ment - for all.Since the likelihood of an-other Expo anytime soon ismicroscopic - there is a lotof space there that could beput to good use - groundmanagement permitting ofcourse.To see many more pics ofthe event - like the ones be-low - hop over to our pal :http://presidentenquirer.piczo.com/bcocharityweekend2008(1a)

Did you know that in just 18 years time, one in fourEuropeans will be aged 60 or over ? ... that in 2007women over 50 outnumbered men over 50 by over

1.6 million ? And that we Black Caribbean's have the oldestage structure of all the non-white ethnic groups in the UK asone in 4 of us are aged 50 or over ?The UK’s birthrate increased again last year for the fourthconsecutive year - and the trend looks likely to continue -local councils are struggling to provide resources for boththe young (under 18) and an aging population - and judgingby the continued existence of fuel poverty, social isolationand all the means testing the elderly are subjected to it lookslike a decision has been made.So it would be to our benefit if we were organised and be part of a group to help cope with thedemands of everyday living when the nine to five stops.

Blanche long felt the need to do something to helpthose in the community who retired from work andseemingly - retired from life. She approached the localcouncil who obliged with some of the start up costsand in 2007 the Crystal Oasis Luncheon Club wasformed. The Club meets at 11 am every Wednesdayat the Penge Congregational Church KenilworthRd, Penge, London SE20 for a three course lunch, toplay board and card games and to socialise, exchangememories, thoughts and most importantly - to share..As always new members are most welcomed. Forfurther information contact Blanche on 0208 653 7268.The pictures above were taken a few Saturday nightsago when some of the group their friends and support-ers met to celebrate their first year’s existence and toraise much needed funds for the cause.

Blanche Knight and Ena Layne

THECRYSTAL

LUNCHEONCLUB

THECRYSTAL LUNCHEON CLUB

invites you to a

SUMMER EXCURSIONSaturday26th July

ToBOGNOR REGIS (BUTLINS)

Adults: £15.00Children : £7.00 (3-11 yrs)Entry to Butlins £7.00 pp

Coaches leaves Annerley Hill at09.30am and the church at

09.30amContact Blanche on 0208 653

7268 for tickets and furtherinfo.

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After carefulplanning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made it to his van.However, he was captured two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. Whenasked how he could mastermind such a crime and make such an obvious error,he replied, 'Monsieur, the reason I stole the paintings is because ......

I had no Monet ...

To buy Degas ...

To make the....Van Gogh.

If you haveDe Gaulle to tellsomeone elseabout this - its ok

We’re telling youcos we had nothing

.......Toulouse

1) Good:A Fremont, Ohio policeman had a per-fect spot to watch for speeders, butwasn't getting many. Then he discov-ered the problem. A 12-year-old boywas standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read 'RADARTRAP AHEAD'. The officer then founda young accomplice down the road witha sign reading 'TIPS' . . . and a bucketfull of money. (As kids we only washedthe cars!)

2) Better:A motorist was mailed a picture of hiscar speeding through an automated ra-dar post in Canton , Ohio . A $40 speed-ing ticket was included. Being cute, hesent the police department a picture of$40. The police responded sending himanother photograph - of handcuffs.

3) Absolute Best:A young woman was pulled over forspeeding. As the Ohio State Trooperwalked to her car window, flippingopen his ticket book, she said, 'I betyou're going to sell me a ticket to theState Troopers Ball.' He replied' OhioState Troopers don't have balls.' Therewas a moment of silence while shesmiled, and he realized what he'd justsaid. He then closed his book, got backin his patrol car and left. She was laugh-ing too hard to start her car.......

It’s better to be looked over............ than overlooked !