Queer latinidad in the United States: identities, communities and language practices

Holly R. Cashman University of New Hampshire, USA Queering ESOL, Seminar 2 Sexual Migration & the ESOL Classroom University of Leeds, 3.39.2014

I don’t speak Spanish. I appreciate when you guys didn’t boo me when I said that earlier. I try to slip it in so I wouldn’t get booed. No, because I do get booed for it sometimes. Other Latinos boo me for not speaking Spanish. I don’t think that’s fair because people don’t understand. Growing up gay and Mexican is already hard enough.

OVERVIEW

description of context (Arizona, USA)

description of method, data & participants

research themes

excerpts from interviews & analysis

excerpt from spontaneous talk

concluding remarks

BACKGROUND/SOCIOPOLITICAL CLIMATE

decades of turning back Civil Rights-era gains through ballot propositions and traditional legislation

•  English Only (passed in 1988, declared unconstitutional 1997) •  bilingual education ban (Prop 203 “English for the Children”,

2000) •  Official English (Prop 103, passed in 2006) •  “Support Our Law Enforcement and Safe Neighborhoods

Act”/“Show me your papers” law (SB1070, passed & signed into law in 2012)

•  HB2281 ethnic studies ban (passed & signed into law in 2012) •  constitutional definition of marriage limited to opposite sex

couples •  No non-discrimination law (LGBT) – housing, workplace,

public accommodation (city ordinances in Phoenix, Tucson) •  Marriage Protection Amendment (Prop 102, passed in 2008) •  “Religious liberty”/ “state-endorsed discrimination” bill (HB

1062, passed in 2014; vetoed by Governor)

From  the  official  City  of  Phoenix  website  (19  November  2013)  

DEMOGRAPHIC SNAPSHOT

40% of the Phoenix population (1.4 million) is ‘Hispanic or Latino’

37% of the Phoenix population is Mexican

30% of Phoenicians speak Spanish at home

Arizona LGBT population 4.4%

Phoenix gay and lesbian population estimated to be 6.3%

Arizona LGBT Latina/o population 4.5% of Latina/o adults (or over 53,000 people)

FIELDWORK/DATA

intermittent fieldwork 2010-2014, most intensely in summer 2012 and January 2013

35 LGBTQ Latin@ participants

interviews, language use questionnaires, brief social network inventory, recorded spontaneous interaction and participant observation  

PARTICIPANTS

range in age from 22 to 54

20 born in U.S., 15 outside (mainland) U.S.

U.S. born from four southwestern U.S. states (Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and California) and Kansas

non U.S. born – most from Mexico (80%); also, Chile, Peru and Puerto Rico

range of length of residence in Phoenix from 6 months to lifetime

RESEARCH THEMES/QUESTIONS language use & language proficiency—who speaks what language to whom? how do speakers assess their (bilingual) proficiency? •  impact of coming out on social networks—does coming out

result in disruption of social networks? •  (socio)linguistic consequences of coming out--does coming

out promote a shift to English? language attitudes & ideologies—what do participants believe about Spanish, English and bilingualism? language and identities—how do participants do being queer, Latin@ and bilingual in interaction? •  narratives - coming out (or staying silent), migration,

conflict and community •  identity labels—what do participants call themselves and

others? what labels do they use and claim to use? •  defining a queer Latin@ community—is there a queer

Latin@ community in Phoenix?

COMING OUT NARRATIVES Javier Mario

1  J: And I said- because I’ve been really, really close to my 2  family, with my mom, my sisters, my aunts and my grandma

3  because my grandma raised me too so I- I had been really

4  close and I’m like I cannot have double life. I need to 5   be like myself all the time so I tell them. I say you know 6  what I like men and at that time they didn’t even know what 7   gay means. They’re like- they used to have- they used to 8  have like in Spanish the word faggot because they’re like 9  oh they’re faggots. They’re not close to us but once I tell

10  them what- …

13  J: So once gay- they understand that I was gay that I was 14  different. They start learning about what a gay is so 15  eventually they’re like- right now my family is one hundred 16  and twenty percent supportive. 17  H: Wow. 18  J: Everybody.

JAVIER

1  She was in Florida at the time. So, she came to Phoenix 2  like a month later, and she bring me a keychain from

3  Florida. And the keychain, it was a girl in bikini. And I

4  felt so bad because I’m like she might be thinking that I

5  like girls, that I eventually will get married, and all

6  that, and I will have kids. And I said I cannot do this to 7   my grandma. I mean, I cannot build illusions about it 8  because it (will) not gonna happen, because I already knew

9  that I will not get married or anything like that. So, I

10  take her to church, and I say “You know what grandma? In 11  front of God, I need to tell you something. This is- this is 12  what happened, this is what I am, and that’s that.” She 13  started crying and crying and crying, but after like two 14   three weeks, she was totally okay with it.

JAVIER

1  You know what it’s very weird because every time that I 2  tell my story to somebody they say you’re- your life is 3   fairy tale. This is not true. That cannot be true because as

4  soon as I told them they said okay it’s fine, they took like

5  a month or three weeks for like my grandma to accept it and

6  uh I bring my boyfriend, I bring my friends, like all my

7  friends we kiss on the cheek and uh they see that. They

8  never say oh my god you cannot do that in front of the kids.

9  They start telling the kids you know what your uncle because

10  for them I’m his uncle not his cousin, your uncle is gay 11  what that means is he likes guys so you need to respect him 12  as well because it doesn’t matter who he likes. His- your 13  uncle and he’s older than you and you need to respect him.

JAVIER

MARIO 1 Right now I’m- I’m openly gay to my parents. Um I came 2  out to them when I was eighteen. Um I came out to

3  them when I was eighteen just because, um, I thought that

4  being eighteen would give me that freedom to kind of like,

5  um, completely express myself as- in every way or form

6  that I- that I felt. And because, um, I had been

7  dating someone for about two years prior to that?

8  And I just felt like I was emotionally connected to this

9  person enough that I- that I didn’t feel like I had- I

10  didn’t feel- I- I just- I didn’t feel those feelings that 11  I- that I remember when I was, um, ten or twelve 12  that I had to suppress this- this um this 13  relationship. And I felt that my relationship with my dad 14  wasn’t going- ((laughs)) wasn’t going so well. So, uh, I 15  mean I just thought I’d rather get it out of the way. If 16   it’s already not going well it really can’t get any worse, 17  [Mhm] but it did. (hhh)

MARIO 1  M: Um, at first, it was just kinda…it was very in denial, like, 2  this is not who you are, you’re, you’re very confused.

3  You’re crazy. Um, and then about a month into it, um, uh,

4  a, everything got like s – It, it real – it literally was

5  kind of like a month into it, um, it got very drastic and 6  kind of violent at home, and it was – it was just verbal and 7  physical abuse and- and it was just not a safe place to be. 8  So, I f – I kind of felt stuck because, um, because my legal

9  status. I didn’t have the freedom to, to leave when I was

10  eighteen. [Right] So I was stuck in a place where, I just 11  wasn’t happy. 12  H: Mhm. And how did you resolve that? What did you do? 13  M: Um, well currently, I don’t feel like there’s any 14  resolution. Um, and I’m not talking to my, my dad, at 15  all. Um, I mean, I communicate with my brother, sister, 16  and mom. Um, but it’s under the understanding that we’re 17  not talk – we’re talk – not talking about gay issues, we’re 18  talking more about, like, how’s your health, how’s school. 19  Um, those types of issues, like, who, what is Mario. 20  Um, But I don’t feel like I, like every time I talk to 21  them, I, I take that opportunity to kind of just remind 22  them that I’m still me…

TALKING SILENCE Diego Murum Milagros

1  D: No, no, no, I think that um you know that’s my life, and 2  this- You only share things with special people. Uh, I 3  think this way, you know. Like I think that my sexuality, 4  or m- that kind- that part of my life, it’s not like a 5  plate of food you know you put it in the table and people 6  taste it, if they like it or not. You know what I’m saying? 7  This is my life, you know. I don’t ask you, or I don’t know 8  what other people do when they’re drunk, you know? Like 9  (what’s in their-) 10  H: ((laughs)) 11  D: Especially, you know, like when, you know, the straight 12  people are married but they do things on the side. It’s 13  like, you know, I’m- I’m very jealous about that part of my 14  life, you know. Like when I’m gay with the people, even 15  like, you know, like if you go to a public place that’s not 16  a bar, and people ask me sometimes, you know, are you gay? 17  Or something like that. I get so offended. That’s not your 18  business, you know.

DIEGO

1  M: because a lot of people have criticized me because- 2  because [M.] we all know [M.] because we are a group

3  of friends from from high school that only two know,

4  [name] and another friend. But the other four five? They

5  know already, thanks to [name], but they have never 6  heard it from my mouth nor have they asked me nor have I 7  told them. I know that they know already eh? Because

8  [name] has told me. No-

9  H: and it’s one thing to know and it’s another thing-

10  M: yes, but it makes me laugh- it makes me laugh inside 11  when I am with them because I already know that they 12  know. But they are so obvious that- that they never ask 13  me about a man, about a boyfriend, or about anything 14  sentimental or about relationships or anything.

MURUM

1  M: One day my mom came out, just bluntly say- She said, 2  um, eh- You’d better not hang out with this girl, this

3  [name], because she is a dyke. You’d better not be a

4  dyke, because if you’re a dyke, that day you stop being 5  my daughter. 6  H: Wow that’s pretty strong

7  M: And that just took me at heart.

8  H: Yeah

9  M: I’m like oh, my god, what am I gonna do?

10  H: Yeah, I mean- 11  M: So, yeah 12  H: ((collaborative laughter)) 13  M: So here my mother’s telling me she’s going to disown me 14  H: Yeah 15  M: if she ever found out that I was gay.

MILAGROS

MIGRATION NARRATIVES Susana

1  S: The abuse in my house began since eight years old like 2  nine years old. As far as they began to realize that

3  was- that I showed signs of being gay. I mean they said

4  oh no a faggot or that is how they call them vulgarly 5  in Mexico a faggot a fag a queer or whatever in my 6  house? No! And my brothers, too. Mom uh my brother’s a 7  faggot. Mom, my brother- I mean. And they hit me. Or I 8  couldn’t have friends because they said that they were

9  faggots too. And and then it was it was too much. They

10  had me very oppressed. I was very under attack by my 11  brothers and and ( ) by my mom. And I also had a 12  stepfather? My father is still alive but to him as soon 13  as he also realized that I was that way he distanced 14  himself from me. He pushed me away- ((voice cracks)) 15  Oh! ((starts to choke up, laughs, clears throat)) I 16  never tell this but okay. And and then I stayed with my 17  mom and since she had another partner. She divorced 18  from my father and had another partner. Her partner, he 19  and I had a lot of conflicts because since my mom had 20  more kids with him, he though that maybe I would be a 21  bad influence for my brothers- 22  H: younger 23  S: uh huh thinking that I could…

SUSANA

1  S: That day my brother said to my mom hey m- um Raúl didn’t 2  go to work, mom. What? He didn’t? Okay, leave it till he

3  gets here. And I arrived in the afternoon as if I had gone

4  to work. But I didn’t go. I was at school signing up. And

5  and um and she said to me where are you coming from? From

6  work. You weren’t working. Yes, I worked. no. Okay, alright

7  I didn’t work. I went to school to sign up. Who is going to

8  pay for that for you? I am not going to pay for your school

9  for you. You are a so-and-so. An my mom hit me really hard

10  that day with a washing machine hose. 11  H: ((gasp)) 12  S: with the washing machine hose and that was when I said this 13  cannot continue. 14  H: Wow. 15  S: I felt- I had marks here and here on my back and here on my 16  arms and here on my legs. ((intakes breath)) And I was 17  crying a lot and mm:: ((makes tsking sound)) That day some 18  neighbors from my- across from my house had gone ( ) and 19  it was that they had left there houses because they treated 20  them badly too. So I said if they could, why can’t I go? I 21  am going to go, too. They are not going to hit me anymore. 22  Not anymore. And:: and enough.

SUSANA

1  S: That was when:: when that same night I went. I went 2  crying. I grabbed money. I had little money, no even enough 3  to pay the train ticket which was seven hundred and fifty

4  pesos. I was short fifty pesos. And I said to the ticket

5  man mister uh give me a ticket. He says you’re short fifty.

6  I tell him oh excuse me. But he gave me the ticket. I tell

7  him I’ll bring them to you right away. I went, I got on the

8  train, and I didn’t pay him them.

9  H: ((laughs))

10  S: I owe those fifty pesos. 11  H: ((laughs)) 12  S: I didn’t pay him them. So I got on the train already. And 13  so yes I went crying on the train because I was leaving 14  everything everything in my life and I didn’t know where I 15  was going. I didn’t kn- I mean I knew that I was going to 16  Tijuana but I didn’t kn- I didn’t know where Tijuana was, I 17  didn’t know anything.

SUSANA

1  S: So I had a- a friend from there from Guadalajara that was 2  living here in Phoenix, Arizona. And he had already invited

3  me. Come over here. I’m working in a place that’s called

4  (---). Here those who dress like women earn good money he

5  said. There are a lot of customers. So I had just finished

6  breaking up with my partner and I said I already don’t have 7  a boyfriend, I already don’t have a job right now. So I’m 8  going to go to the Unfriendly States. And if there’s money 9  well I will get into prostitution. That is what I thought.

10  So yes I came. I arrived in Nogales. I brought a really big 11  suitcase 12  H: ((laughs)) 13  S: with a lot of costumes, me thinking that I would cross the 14  line. 15  H: ((laughs)) 16  S: They charged- He charged- the person who crossed me the 17  coyote crossed me- charged me one hundred fifty dollars in 18  a taxi. And he brought me up to here. To Phoenix. To forty- 19  eight street and Holly. And there s- my friend used to live 20  there. An that’s it. I arrived on a Wednesday. On Thursday 21  they took me to the bar where I would work. That day I did 22  a show. And from then on ( ) I’ve been here in this 23  place eighteen years.

SUSANA

NARRATIVES OF CONFLICT/COMMUNITY Diego Silvana

 1  …I remember when I go out to the bars before (that) I work in 2  the bars I see totally different people, they they get so 3  afraid and they decide to move (out of) this state. Even like 4  uh like American people, like white guys, like they they don’t 5  like what happened here and uh some people they, they used to 6  live here now they are in different states, and they are, they 7  have a better life over there. And sometimes they call me 8  because we keep in touch and I told them that’s the best thing 9  that you did. you know because here is totally negative right 10  now. And uh you know like when this happened uh I was in a bar 11  in Bunkhouse and sometimes guys go and ask me like hey do you 12   have papers? and I’m like I go hey do you have AIDS? And they 13  don’t like that and I say yeah. So it’s not, not your business 14  and I say they ask me you know like hey do you have a green 15   card? I say I don’t have a green card. I have green money. You 16  know I do those things like that or I just walk away. I ignore 17  them yeah but yeah it’s very stupid.

DIEGO

1 S: Um, during SB1070 I showed up with the girl that just came 2  to say if the food was good? I showed up with her, with 3  about thirty cases of water the first day. And we had all 4  these kids help us pass them out. ((clears throat)) So I 5  started going back every day, every day, every day, every 6  day, um, and then, I’m standing there with signs and I’m you 7  know yeah yes we can yes we can. I looked at this lady and 8  she goes yes we can and I go yes we can, ma’am, yes we- of 9  course we can. Cheer up, cheer up. 10  And then she looked at me and I saw the look on her face 11  like ((gasp)) I go ma’am don’t be scared we come in many 12  different colors. 13  (2.0) 14  S: You know? ‘cause that’s the way I talk to people. 15  H: Uh uh. 16  S: I go like c’mon. 17  H: And how did she react?

SILVANA

16  S: She’s like ((gasp)) I go Look ma’am I want you to know 17  that I am a business owner here in this city. I have a 18  business. An I am here to supportyou and your family. Yes 19  thank you. And I say I also want you to know that I am 20  Mexican American first generation American and I am here to 21  support you and your family our people. I also want you to 22  know that I am gay, I am a lesbian ma’am and I am here to 23  support you and your people. Well done. I’ll give a twenty- 24  five dollar tips at a valet and I go lesbian Mexican gave 25  you that one okay? 26  H: ((laughs)) Mhm 27  S: I don’t care. I’ll, any time I do something like that, 28  especially with the tips, especially if they’re white they 29  go oh wow, thanks! and I go a Mexican gave you that. Again, 30  I’m trying to represent right? 31  H: Yup 32  S: Unfortunately I don’t look Mexican so it’s not like they’re 33  going to say the Mexican girl gave it to her.

SILVANA

IDENTITY IN INTERACTION

SUSANA

1  S: Come on, mami. ((Susana takes birthday girl –BG- by the hand and brings her 2  on stage.)) Yes, come on, come on, come on. Yes ( ) ((Susana 3  conspicuously looks at BG’s backside as she walks past)) O:::h. U::h-oh oh. 4  ((BG turns her back to the audience and starts twerking)) 5  A: ((cheers)) 6  S: ((clears throat)) 7  BG: It's real. 8  S: Huh? 9  BG: It's real, it's real! 10  S: Real↑ly? 11  BG: It's real! 12  S: Is that real? 13  BG: It's real! 14  S: Let me see. ((Looking exaggeratedly at her backside in the mirror)) No:. 15  BG: That ain't. 16  S: This is from, thi- this is from Home Depot. 17  BG: No. Pull it up, pull it up. 18  S: This is a real. Yes! 19  BG: Pull it up, it’s not real. ((Leaning over, looking, touching Susana’s 20  backside))Oh wow! 21  S: This is a real one! 22  BG: ((Gives thumbs up to audience, makes impressed face.)) 23  S: Ay! (C.) this is a real one= 24  BG: =that's real! 25  S: Those are real, [mine are real] yeah. 26  BG: [mine's real]. Mine's real. 27  S: Me too! 28  BG: Okay. 29  S: Me too!

SUSANA, pt. 1

S: Ye::s::, c'mon papi. [Come on chiquitito]. BG: [(.)] C: [No, no, no.] S: [No] C: [I say no] S: What is it? C: I say no. S: No, okay. I'm sorry.

(2.0) S: Ay (C.). ( ) (You jealous) you have a jealous or what? C: ( ) S: You co- NO, what the fuck! C: I'm kidding! S: No, why? Why you no like [the (big papi)?] C: [It's called a joke!] S: It's a papi. C: A joke. S: It's a papi. C: Go ahead papi. S: Papi, papi, pa:pi come on over here. Yes, papi come on. C: She doesn't understand the word jo:ke. Do you understand that? P: Yes. C: Okay perfect. There ya go. You don't know what a joke is. Do you

know what a joke is? BG: I do. C: Thank go:d.

SUSANA, pt. 2

1  S: O:kay:: O::ne, two::, 2  C: One more person. 3  S: One more per:son. 4  BG: ((calling to girlfriend in the audience)) Baby. baby. 5  S: Ay mira, hay una. No because A- Alina, Alina. Alina. 6  C: Alina! 7  S: Alina, comin' over here, fucking puta. 8  (5.0) 9  S: Alright. What you like in th- the birthday? In Spanish or English? 10  BG: It's in English. 11  S: English, I'm sorry. 12  BG: I was born in America. It's okay! 13  S: No, I'm not singing it in English. I'm singing it in Spanish. 14  BG: Oh, sp- sing it to me in Spanish. Feliz cumpleaños a tú! 15  S: a ti. 16  BG: a ti 17  S: Feliz cumpleaños pa ti. Feliz cumpleaños mamacita, chiquitita, que bonita, 18  que bonita chiquitita, o:::h ma::macita, o::::::h my:: go::::d. I love 19  it, you're fucking big body. I like your fucking big ass. O::h my go::d! 20  Happy: bi- oh yes. I'm a fu:::cking (lesbian) to:::night! 21  ((laughter)) 22  C: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday from 23  Charlie’s, happy bi:::rthda::y to:: you::. ( ) happy birthday! 24  ((all five do the shot of tequila)) 25  C: ( ) Happy birthday honey. Now let's keep this show running. Susana 26  you're fabulous and crazy.

SUSANA, pt. 3

LGBTQ-identified individuals have been marginalized or left out of sociolinguistic research on language shift and bilingualism What might we gain if we include LGBTQ participants in the study of bilingualism/bilingual language practices?

SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS

Queer Latin@s’ decisions around coming out may have an impact on their social networks, particularly with relation to family ties -- (socio)linguistic consequences of severed family ties for LGBTQ Latinas/os

Coming out (and identifying as LGBTQ more generally) may promote shift to English for some individuals, but not demonstrated statistically in my data -- many counter-examples

How participants talk about coming out in interviews tells us how they see themselves, how they want to be perceived (identities in interaction)

SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS

Participants’ talk about community and conflict – rac i sm in the LGBTQ communi ty , homophobia in the Latin@ community – simultaneously reveals how they see themselves and want to be perceived Stereotypes of a monolithic, homophobic Hispanic community does not hold up, although many stories of abuse, rejection Participants’ identities (sexual, ethnic, other) are co-constructed interactionally, both in interviews and in spontaneous interaction.

SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS

PHOTO CREDITS ß QUIP receives award at Phoenix Pride Gala Phoenix Pride/Randy Bingham, 2013 ß Silvana stands up against SB1070 Deirdre Hamill/The Arizona Republic/May 8 2010 ß Grecia crowned Miss Phoenix Pride 2012 AG Photography/Alfonso Guadarrama, 2012 ß QUIP members speak out Univisión AZ, 2013 ß Stand up/fight back! Puente SB1070/ICE Protest Holly Cashman, 2012

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Thanks first and foremost to the participants for their time, trust, stories, for photos, and continued encouragement and support this project.

Sincere thanks to the organizers of Queering ESOL Mike Baynham, John Gray and Mel Cooke for inviting me to participate, to the ESRC for funding this project, and to Ibrar Bhatt for his careful organizaton of arrangements.

Thanks to everyone for coming today, for your interest and your attention. I am eager to receive feedback, and I look forward to Q&A.

Fieldwork and research for this paper was supported by funding from the National Science Foundation’s Cultural Anthropology Program, award #BCS1122948.

Additional support from the Center for the Humanities and the College of Liberal Arts at the University of New Hampshire.