Barbados - 21 miles long ..... And a smile wide !

A publication by for and about UK Bajans

APRIL 2008

To contact us write to : Ping Yark c/o 127 Violet Lane Croydon CR0 4HLEmail us at : pingyark@hotmail.com Phone : 020 8239 9545 Mb 07775 824832

Ping Yark is edited by Leigh Bourne and is owned by :The Cou Cou Connection Ltd - Reg No 5995133 Soon to be at www.bajantv.com

R I P

SNIPPETSFAMOUS LAST WORDS:History is full of ‘em - GeneralCuster’s ‘its only a few redskins’ -The captain of the Titanic ‘we’llplough right through it’ and we have

to add just onemore; Owen Sey-mour Arthur’s(OSA) response tothe possibility ofthe DLP formingthe next govern-ment; ‘over mydead body’. OSA is

now an ex everything - Prime Minis-ter, party leader, barefoot or penni-less politician and possibly futureleader of the all but dormant CSME.Yet I doubt we’ve seen the last of thepocket bully, like The TerminatorI’m sure - ‘he’ll be back’

AUDITIONS SOON :Motion picture director Oliver Stoneis reported to be casting for his nextmovie which will portray the politi-cal life of one George W. Bush. Myquestion is this - who will take thelead role - who comes to mind toplay the part of George W ? I can’tthink of one particularperson but one combina-tion comes to mind - across between JerryLewis and ForrestGump. Perfect !

For those of youwho on hearing thenews thought it abunch of ‘horse

feathers’ - well ... it aint. HarpoMarx is in the running to become thenext Mayor of London. When Har-po, aka Boris Johnson, launched his

‘Ken Leaving Soon’ cam-paign nobody gavehim a hope in hell’schance of dethron-ing the mighty Ken

but according to the polls Harpo isactually leading the field of candi-dates. Its strange but, looking at apicture of Boris has the same effectas if you were looking at the famoussilent member of the Marx Brothers- you smile. But on May the first voteKen Livingstone - this city cannotafford to risk a Harpo Marx leader-ship - the thought is just too scary.

NEW HIGH COMMISSIONER:Breaking news - at the time of goingto press rumour has it that a certainTony Arthur will be the new Barba-dos High Commissioner here in theUK. The only thing we know aboutthe man is that he was in either theTourism ministry or department dur-ing the Sandiford administration. Ifthe rumour is true then Arthur mightas we speak be going through theusual Foreign Office checks and pro-cedures before he can take up office.It a rumour - but you never know -watch this space !

Mary had a little pig,She kept it fat and plastered;

But when the price of pork went upShe shot the little bastard.

Why is sex with a Ninja boring?

Because they're trained to slip in and outwithout being noticed!

For Heaven’s Sake Will SomeoneTell Her It’s A Mushroom !

http://presidentenquirer.piczo.com

SOME URLs TO CHECK OUT

The site is to keep friends and anyone interested up-to-date in local events, i.e. Sports, Social activities,caribbean affairs, family notices, etc.We hope visitors to this site can submit any activitiesoccuring in their area, this information will no doubthelp to keep this site functioning in a meaningfulinformative way.

http://barbadosfreepress.wordpress.com? Nobody knows who these guys are but we the expatcommunity rely heavily on the BFP for real news ofwhat’s going on in Barbados. The BFP have survivedmany attempts to track them down - survived manycyber attacks in the forms of hackings and evenduplication of their site. Well worth a visit !

http://www.bajantube.com/A place to view, listen to and or upload video andaudio content - its international in flavour but carib-bean music, mostly soca and reggae, and dance seemto be its primary function. Go see what our verytalented youth is capable of.

SOME URLs TO CHECK OUT

Cedolph

SNIPPETS BAJAN BRANDS IN THE UK :Tesco, Asda/Walmart and Waitroseare some of the chains which will bestocking Barbadian products in largequantities soon. For example BanksHoldings will be supplying increasedquantities of its world famous BankBeer to the UK, repackaged under the

‘Legends’ brand. Armstrong Agency’sClayton’s Kola Tonic, Star’s peppersauce, mauby and seasonings, Roseand LaFlamme’s mauby syrup, Su-perb Blend’s chutney and seasonings,and WIBISCO’s crackers and cookiesare all products that will be available.Plantation Reserve, the premium Bar-bados sugar brand is also doing well inthe UK.Plantation Reserve, marked jointly byWIBISCO, the BamC. Goddard Enter-prises and British Investors are soldthrough Waitrose and selected by Tes-co supermarkets and tins are availablethrough leading department stores andfood halls including Harrods and Fort-num & Mason.(visit www.mechant-gourment.com)

MUSINGS :A few of us amused ourselves theother night wondering who from theBajan collective here in the UKwould make a half decent DeputyHigh Commissioner now thatchange is imminent.First name out was Dalton Macon-ney - a nice guy, a well known,knowledgeable and respected mem-ber of the community, but DeputyHigh Commissioner material ?Second out was Mike Smith, leaderof the DLP UK branch, again, wellknown in the community and longstanding servant as both memberand Chairman to the UK branch, butis Mike Deputy High Commissionermaterial ?Third was Olivia Worrell, formerDLP UK Chairperson and alsoformer President of the NationalCouncil of Barbados Associations,currently Chairperson of BOCFA.Lots of experience but - DeputyHigh Commissioner material ?Next up Andy Connell, most recent-ly President of the National Councilof Barbados Associations, formerChair of the Barbados and FriendsAssociation (Reading) - lots of lead-ership experience but - is Andy Dep-uty High Commissioner material ?Give it think folks - many of youknow those four names - we let youknow our thoughts next issue.

To contact us write to : Ping Yark

c/o 127 Violet LaneCroydonCR0 4HL

Email us at : pingyark@hotmail.com Phone : 020 8239 9545

Mb 07775 824832Ping Yark is edited by Leigh Bourne

and is owned by :The Cou Cou Connection Ltd

Reg No 5995133Soon to be at

www.bajantv.com

On Saturday 14th June the ACLTwill host a bone marrow and bloodregistration drive in conjunction

with our friends at the London Fire Brigade.The venue will be Lewisham Fire Station,249 Lewisham High Street, SE13 6NH.Time: 12 till 5pm

We will recruit potential bone marrowdonors between the ages of 18-40 on to theAnthony Nolan Trust Register.

We will also invite the National Blood Serv-ice (NBS) and recruit new blood donorsbetween the ages of 17-59 years and anyonethat wants to register as bone marrow do-nors who fall between the ages of 41-50 willbe recruited on the NBS bone marrow regis-ter.Please come and support this recruitmentdrive and pass this informaiton onto all ofyour friends. Remember you could give theGift of Life.CONTACT US ON 020 8667 1122 OREMAIL INFO@ACLT.ORG

Please Text ACLT and send to 84424 tomake a £3 donation to assist the life savingwork of the ACLT. Standard operatorcharges apply.

ACLTSouthbridge HouseSouthbridge Place

CroydonCR0 4HA

Tel no. 020 8240 4480Fax no. 020 8240 4481

FOUNDATION (UK) ASSOCIATIONInvites you to

ANNUAL SPRING DANCE& GRAND RAFFLE

AtLAMBETH TOWN HALL

BRIXTON HILL SW2On

Saturday 24th May 2008Music by

DADDY VINCEAdmission : £12.00

ContactJohn 8689 2566 Marilyn 8715 6106Leroy 8669 2423 Hendy 8771 9481Ken 8969 0417 Pop 8653 7268Gene 8671 5382 Bruce 8302 1751

Yeah yeah I know a year is a long timeand we apologise for the absence - butwe took the sabbatical to refocus and

fine tune an idea that had been fermenting fora long long time.

When Ping Yark was started nearly tenyears ago bloggs were no where nearas preva-

lent as they are today. Worldwide, newsprintand newspaper circulation are both taking aserious bashing because of the blogging phe-nomenon. Ping Yark was no different. Alongcame Barbados Free Press(www.barbadosfreepress.wordpress.com)closely followed by several other Bajan basedbloggs - with raw, uncensored and up to date

news - and not the government scripted orapproved version of events - of what wasactually happening in Barbados. For the firsttime ever proper news was reaching the mass-es especially we dat ovuh in away and farquicker than PY ever could. So, we directedpeeps to the sites and added to content occa-sionally knowing that to continue we had tocome up with something to make us more

appealing, more unique, something to give us an edge. And we believewe’ve done it .........but more about that much later.

So here we are, we’re back, big andbold as brass with some extras, inter-esting bits and addendums. And

you’ll see as you peruse this edition thatwe’re NOT YET making full use of themassive amounts of available technologies,falling prices, social networking sites andthe ever increasing number of second gener-ation UK Bajans who have woken up the the fact that computers aint justfor kids and certainly don’t ‘kin bite !

Leigh

The ‘Guvnor’

Verona

3rd generationUK Bajans and friends

Her that mustBe obeyed !

- Vee -our

CompanySecretary

The rogues gallery shown on thesetwo pages are just some of the regu-lars who’ll be oft seen and or heardin our project.It is largely Bajan based and deliber-ately so cos we don’t yet have theresources to make any attempt at thewider ‘black’ market. Its a case oflearning to walk before trying to run.We are targeting the forty and fiftysomething Bajans and friends cos itcouldn’t have escaped your noticethat deh aint much out deh fuh we,we too old fuh night clubs and tooyoung for the Darby and Joan. We inde middle waiting - well .....here is

Tyrone

Arl

JAYCEE

SARA

VINCY

T-RICKY

Cora

MAZ GENE

TREV

TheADMIRAL

RODDERS

GODFREY

something. Have a look and let usknow what you think, and, if you feelmoved enough perhaps you might getinvolved. All are welcomed. Enjoy !

Back in 1994 only a handful of UK Ba-jans knew anything of or had everheard about this gangly bespectacled

grey haired man, but he has gone on to becomeeasily, the most popular Deputy High Commis-sioner ever to have taken office here in the UK.Herbert Elwin Yearwood JP SCM (Silver Crownof Merit) replaced... wait a minute ... Elwin ? ...ah well! - replaced Owen Eversley himself a verypopular man. He quickly established a reputationfor being a man of the people - a non stop energet-ic and tireless promoter of any and everythingBarbadian - he was a man with a no nonsensekeep it simple tell it like it is approach. Somewould tell you that at times he could be quiteabrasive and this writer would concur but wouldadd however that

he was a man that got the job done and thevery best out of those under his charge. Hefixed what ever needed fixing and was nev-er afraid to be seen holding the smoking gunand believe me - there have been timeswhen he made Wyatt Earp look like a lily-livered wuss, his views on crime and its

punishmentcould not besimpler and lies somewhere between the Arabsystem of losing limbs, full use of the cat o’ ninetails and the gallows - and like many of you Iagree - why should someone who steals fromyou then get the benefit of your tax dollars tohouse and feed them for years at a time ? That’sa little too much like rubbing salt into the woundmethinks ? The five Barbados EXPO’s held between 1998and 2006 were all organised by groups withHerbert Elwin at the helm. His attention to detailwas legendary - almost scary in fact spotting thetiniest mistake after other lesser mortals had

HERBERTELWINYEARWOODJP SCM

missed them. Hewas a dutiful sup-porter of the manyBajan communitygroups here in theUK visiting all ofthem at least onceand many severaltimes during histenure and nothing,was ever too much trouble as far as the communitywas concerned and no reasonable request was everrefused. He was a direct contrast to his former bossthe constantly absent and lamentably woeful Peter

‘Our Pete’ Simmons - thankfully Our Pete was re-placed by the excellent Edwin Pollard who himself deserves a mention forhis superb sup-port and serv-ice to thecommunityduring his com-parativelybrief stay herein the UK.Herbert ElwinsDeputy HighCommissioner-ship could nev-er be emulated- he is a genuineone off, as realas you could ever get cos you knew exactly where you stood with Herbie.He has had many tributes, we loves and thank yous from organisations andindivduals all over the UK and of course I’m going to add tuppence worth -yes we’ve had our differences but I will say a personal heartfelt thank you -that your successor has some impossibly large shoes to fill - and since weknow that you have found use for emails then keep you must in touch. Aswell as a ‘bye Uncle Herbie’ I again say cheers old pal, bid you good luck,fare thee well and all the very best for the future.

Herbie at the University of Wales Newport where he laid foundationsfor a Barbados Diaspora in Wales. His was the first official visit toWales by any Deputy High Commissioner for Barbados. The visit wasorganised by the University’s Barbados born tutor Eunice Taylor.

His ExcellencyHigh Commissioner

Edwin Pollard

The Great Russell Street entrance toour High Commission

Situations where the term ‘oh shit’ truly applies !

BARBADOS HIGH COMMISSIONCRICKET AND SOCIAL CLUB

Invite you to itsPRE-SEASON DANCE

OnSaturday 3rd May 2008

AtFrenford Youth Club

476 High Road, Seven KingsEssex lG1 1UE

(opposite the Cauliflower Pub)From 8. 00pm until late

Music by HarperAdmission: £8.00

Contact Janice Moseley - 020 7631 4975 Peter Walker - 020 7631 4975 John Holder - 07719 778890

THE HARROW & WEALDSTONE ASSOCIATION - (H.A.W.A)INVITES YOU TO A SPRING SOCIAL

ON

SATURDAY 3rd MAY 2008FROM: 7. 00pm TO 12.00am

VENUETHE OLD LYONIAN CRICKET CLUB HOUSE

7 PINNER VIEW HARROW HA1 4QF

The Barbados Labour Party UKinvites you to their

MIDSUMMER DANCEAt

Wandsworth Civic Suite,Wandsworth High Street,

London SW18 2PUOn

Saturday June 14th 2008.Come and enjoy a night full of

dancing and minglingwith friends old and new!!

A FULLY STOCKED BARAnd

TRADITIONAL BAJAN FAREwill be on sale.

Tickets are priced at £12.For further details please contact

sarasewell@googlemail.com.

PY : What role did the DLP(UK) play inthe recent election?

HD : You have asked a multimillion dollarquestion there, that is perhaps why I amso disappointed, because the DLP(UK)was nowhere to be seen. History of agreat victory was taking place and thisorganisation was unable to play any rolewhat so ever. The oldest offshore DLPorganisation and we were found wanting.For years now I was speaking of chronicmismanagement within the group. Chron-ic mismanagement mainly from a groupof six on the management committeemostly led by Mike Smith and his band ofbrigands and political miscreants. Overthe years this gang of six has continuedto treat the DLP(UK) as their little fiefdom,Olivia Worrell, Don Brewster, Jeff Gilkes,Jackie Walcott and Monica Blackmanmust all share the blame for the depths towhich the DLP(UK) has plummeted. Here we are, five years ago they knewan election would be due in 4 or 5 yearstime, yet they were as unprepared whenit came, as if they had just escaped fromthe tenth century. Complete and utternovices. After some 20 or so fundraisingevents, the organisation had less moneythan it had five years ago.

PY : So why do they continue to managethe DLP(UK) affairs? Can the DLP inBarbados not see the damage they aredoing to its name and image?

HD : Apathy and lies, pure apathy and

lies. As I was saying, after the first set ofevents that made a loss, sensible peoplewould have looked at why were we mak-ing losses and do something about it. Noone of any note would continue for fiveyears doing the same nonsense. When-ever you ask them to explain they shoutwe have some disrupters in our group.By simple logic, to continue in this fash-ion they must be highly incompetent, andif they are not then I shudder to think thatthere may be some almighty “thievery”going on within this little cabal. There isno other way to explain what has beengoing on. My view is that they simplycan’t cut it and don’t know what they aredoing.Yet some time ago, we had the verynotable Dr. George Williams conduct anindependent audit, which they spent somuch time and tricks trying to bury. Nowif they have nothing to hide why behavein that fashion, something just did notseem to add up in all this. What reallyannoys me is the fact that such peoplehave the gall and guts to present them-selves to run such an organisation. Per-sonally I think they should go away, forthese are nothing more than enemies toprogress. Enemies to democracy, peo-ple who are against transparency or ac-countability within a democraticorganisation. As the saying goes, wouldyou buy a second hand car from any ofthem, I certainly won’t.

PY : It seems like the DLP(UK) is incomplete disarray, what a sad state of

Ping Yark speaks to Barbadian author and journalist Hender-son Dalrymple in the wake of the recent general election inBarbados and the victory of the DLP. He spoke to PY about

the role or non role played by the DLP(UK). As an ardent support-er he pulls no punches in a honest and open interview about hisconcerns and bitter disappointment over the downward path ofthe DLP(UK) and its leadership in four of the last five years.

affairs. How can this once great organisa-tion ever regain its prominence of yester-year?HD : Very good question, with this show-er around it can never, not only is itembarrassing for the DLP in Barbados,but it also gives the impression that thefolks in the UK are not up to scratch. Inthe last election, we as a group, that isthe DLP(UK) was unable to contribute tothe election in any meaningful way. Infact we were somewhat muzzled by theDLP, simply because we lack leadership,vision, forward planning or any politicalforesight whatsoever. Now if theseclowns had the slightest molecule ofsense they would have been to planahead for an event that they knew wascoming. Instead they are more con-cerned with lying and pointing blamesomewhere else. Can it be saved as anorganisation, I would say with difficulty?We would have to make a new start, withsome rather strict rules, otherwise in lessthan a couple of years we will be back inthis same place. Frankly we do havesome very unsavoury characters in theDLP(UK) who are in no way interested inrunning a democratic organisation.

PY : So what is to be done for the future?

HD : Probably start all over again withoutsuch a group of individuals in any areasof responsibility. Get back to the basicsof why the group was set up in the firstplace. At the moment they do nothing toadvance the interests of Bajans in the UK.What is sad however is the way that theyhave been left by Barbados to do moreor less as they please. That is unforgiv-able. AGM should be held in or by June,yet we end up under this gang of incom-petents to hold one in September for noother reason than the whim of an egotisti-cal chair.

PY : Is there any truth in the rumour thatthe group has been disbanded? And if sowhere do we go from here?HD : More like muzzled I would say, theDLP(UK) has been asked by Barbadosnot to keep meetings, raise funds, orconduct any form of business since Sep-tember 2007. To show you the kind ofleadership that the group had, as far as Iam aware, the membership has not beennotified. I am not sure here, because ourgang of political miscreants sometimessend out information to only some of themembership. It is just another way of themanner in which they operate. I know theHon. Errol Barrow would be turning in hisgrave if he felt that this once great organ-isation would come to this, run by a show-er of liars, incompetents and probablycrooks too.

PY : You are very angry

HD : Of course I am, what do you ex-pect? How can ordinary Barbadians feelwhen they see the kind of nonsense thatis being done in their name. People arenot happy with the way that this group isrun. The group seems to exist for a fewpeople to piggyback their business onand make money for themselves at theexpense of the entire group. Pork Barrelcomes to mind and such things, as con-flict of interests don’t seem to matter inthe least these days. We have situationsnow, where members of the gang ofbrigands and political miscreants holdtheir own events in direct competition tothe DLP(UK). Is there any doubt that theorganisation won’t ever raise any fundswith this sort of thing going on.

PY : Thanks for your frank views Mr.Dalrymple.

We are awaiting a response from theDLP (UK)

GIVING A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE TERM ‘SLEEPING POLICEMEN

I ended up with an older wom-an at a club last night. Shelooked pretty good for a 60-

year-old. In fact, she wasn't toobad at all, and I found myselfthinking that she probably had ahot daughter. We drank a bit, anda had a bit of a snuggle, and sheasked if I'd ever had a Sports-man's Double.'What's that?' I asked.'It's a mother and daughter three-some,' she said.I nervously, yet anxiously said,'No.'We drank a bit more, then shesays that tonight was 'my luckynight'. I went back to her place.We walked in and she put on thehall light and shouted upstairs:'Mom, you still awake?'

As an ultimate test of his willpower, a man decided to give up

sex for Lent. Although not thrilledwith the idea, his wife agreed tosupport his effort. The first fewweeks weren't too difficult. Thingsgot tougher during the next coupleof weeks, so the wife wore her dow-diest night clothes and chewed ongarlic before going to bed. The lastcouple of weeks were extremelytough on the husband, so the wifetook to locking the bedroom doorand forcing the husband to sleep onthe couch. Easter morning finallycame. A knock came on the wife'sbedroom door.

"KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!! KNOCK!!!"husband: "Guess who?"wife: "I know who it is!"husband:"Guess what I want?"wife: "I know what you want!"husband: "Guess what I'm knockin'with?"Best number plate ever !

ver heard of the “The Mythof Sisyphus” ? Its an es-say penned during the sec-ond world war in occupiedFrance by a playwrightnamed Albert Camus. Sis-

yphus was the man condemned by thegods to repeatedly roll a rock to the topof a mountain, only to have it roll backdown again. Camus, saw Sisyphus asan “absurd” hero with a pointless exist-ence.

Much like the NCBA - the NationalCouncil of Barbados Associations UK.From its creation the organisation hasbeen plagued by incompetence, mis-management and on at least oneknown occasion - thievery, yet - de-spite all its failings and failures - likeSisyphus - it seems condemned tokeep ‘rolling the stone’.The latest episode sees our group ofdedicated rollers teaming up with theirAmerican and Canadian versions toattend a week long series of eventsimpressively titled a ‘Bajans ForgingLinks Across the Sea - a CollaborativeConference’.

So, you would think that the BajanYanks, Canuks and Brits attending theconference would arrive armed to theteeth with ideas and proposals to pro-mote everything Bajan back in theirvarious metropolises, or maybe, howthey could acquire a building we couldcall our own, or maybe exchange ideason how to encourage a younger gener-

Eation to ensure future growth of theirand their member organisations, butalas nay - according to the itinerary -nutton so aint happening.

And guess where this ‘conference’ istaking place ? Canada ? America ?England ? No no no ! In Barbados ! Ifyou can explain to me how the choiceof venue makes sense then pleaseenlighten me - I can’t figure it out.

To my mind the trip serves no purposewhatsoever to the ex pat Bajan commu-nities or to the organisations the Nation-al Councils represent, yet importantly,the reps do get to hob nob, wear aname badge, possibly get free entry toan event or two and of course - enjoythe sun sea and depending on theirluck - some horizontal entertainment.

And its unlikely any of the reps willproduce reports for their member or-ganisations. Why should they ? Theyare on holiday. Nothing more - nothingless.

Sooner or later all our organisationsincluding the NCBA, will be struck bythe same juggernaut of reality - ie - thatmembers are aging and numbers areshrinking, rapidly, and unless some-thing is done to get more forty and fiftysomething Bajans involved that samejuggernaut will not only materialise- theresulting collision will inflict permanentirreversible damage. On the face of itthe NCBA’s existence appears point-less - of use to neither man nor beast -just a talk shop - and that’s sad costhere is so much that could be donethat does not involve acting or feelinglike poor old Sisyphus.

B BARBADOS OVERSEAS - - -

- NURSES ASSOCIATIONB. O. N. A (UK)

Invites you to their

14th ANNIVERSARY CHURCH SERVICE OFTHANKSGIVING

ON

SUNDAY 11th MAY 20083. 30 pm

AtSt. Jude with St Aidan Parish Church

Thornton Road, Thornton HeathSurrey CR7 6DF

(Please be seated by 3.15 pm)

Theme : “God’s Grace”SERMON BY:

Rev Rosemary Taylor(chaplin of B.O.N.A)

OFFICIATING CLERGYRev. Nathan Ntege

(Vicar of St. Judes with St. Aidan’s Parish Church)

Buses:- 109, 60, 250, 198, 289, or 64 to Thornton Heath Pond.

John Stonehouse. Remember him ? Hewas the politician who switched sides(crossed the floor) and later set up various

companies in an attempt to secure a regular income after Labour wasdefeated in the general election. But these were mostly in financialtrouble, and aware of an investigation into his business affairs, hedecided that his best choice would be to flee. He acquired a newidentity then left a pile of clothes on a Miami beach giving theimpression that he’d gone for a long swim. He was presumed dead,

and obituaries were published despite the fact no body had been found. In reality, hewas en route to Australia to set up anew life. He was discovered by coinci-dence in Melbourne a month later (onChristmas Eve), the Australian policethinking he was Lord Lucan. TheMP's trial, on 21 charges of fraud,theft, forgery, conspiracy to defraud,causing a false police investigationand wasting police time lasted 68 days.Stonehouse was later convicted andsentenced to 7 years prison.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO...

Dunno ‘bout you - but thispicture of the ‘Flea Pit’really takes me back !

MISSING PERSON

All Points Bulletin !

Three men die in a car accidentChristmas Eve.They all find themselves at the pearlygates waiting to enter heaven. Uponentering they are told by Saint Peterthat they must present something

"Christmassy" in order to get intoheaven.The first man searches his pockets,and finds some pine needles from thefamily's Christmas tree. He is let it.The second man presents a bow andsome ribbon, from presents that wereopened earlier in that night. So he isalso allowed in.The third man pulls out a pair ofblack lace panties.Confused at this last gesture, St. Pe-ter says in a booming voice, "I fail tosee the relevance. How do these rep-resent Christmas?"To which the third man sheepishlyreplies, "Oh....... They're Carol's."

PORNOGRAPHIC MUSIC NOTES

Why Men Have Better FriendsFriendship between Women:A woman didn't come home onenight. The next morning she toldher husband that she had slept overat a friend's house. The man calledhis wife's 10 best friends. None ofthem knew anything about it.Friendship between Men:A man didn't come home one night.The next morning he told his wifethat he had slept over at a friend'shouse. The woman called her hus-band's 10 best friends, eight ofwhich confirmed that he had sleptover, and two said that he was stillthere.

Let’s do some basic math. TheWeekend Nation sold here inthe UK has a circulation of

lets be stingy and say 5,000 perweek. At a pound each that’s £5000if all are sold. That’s £20,000 permonth and a whopping £240,000 peryear.Nearly a quarter of a million of ourfinest UK pounds per year, yet thelong standing complaint about thenewspaper and its content remainthe same as it has done for years.Very little or no content by for orabout the UK Bajan community. Itsa complaint about relevance.The Nation news organisation is alsobeing severely criticised - almostcrucified on the web in the variousBarbados bloggs. It stands accusedof being toothless, cowardly, incom-petent and for turning a blind eye tosome of the actions of the previousBLP administration, but to be per-fectly honest what journalist in hisright mind will go digging intosomething that could affect his liveli-hood ? And what island newspaperthat is so reliant on government busi-ness would jeopardise that incomesource ? Check this out;http://www.royalgazette.com/siftology.royalgazette/Article/article.jsp?articleId=7d83d2f30030003&sectionId=60 - and you’ll see what couldfollow from any hint of journalistic

independence.But here in the UK the circulationmust be falling - the majority ofreaders are in their sixties and be-yond, they are those that came to theUK way back and still have peersand kin in Barbados - and you couldcall them morbid if you like but theirfirst port of call is usually the obitu-ary column - they look to see whodead that they might know. Its a fact.Most of us don’t particularly carewhich cricket team win which localmatch - or care to read again worldnews that appears in our dailies. Wewant relevance - tell what is goingon in our UK , at nearly a quarter ofa million pounds per year surelythere is someone who could do thejob of collecting and presenting -years ago we had a page called Lon-don Bridge but that just seemed to bea journal about the views and limitedactions of former High Commission-er Peter Simmons.So, MAKE IT RELEVANT, you gotsome serious addressing to do toeither increase or maintain yourcirculation here in the UK, and bewarned - with the explosion and pop-ularity of blogging, Facebook andother networking sites and applica-tions - I’d do it soon if I were you !

SOME RELEVANCE PLEASE

BAJE !!!!!GET THEM TO DOSOMETHING NUH MAN ?

School’s budget or finances which heclaimed ran into millions. Wuhloss!Then another well known name in ourcommunity got mentioned in the excel-lent Standard investigation. EmersonBraithwaite. Emerson is a former chair-man of the Promotions and MarketingAdvisory Group (PaMAG). PaMAGwas one of several advisory groups setup by the Barbados High Commissionin the early days of the now gone BLPadministration. Emerson, allegedly abig buddy of Lee Jasper, apparentlyborrowed £18k from a company theyboth were di-rectors of, Eth-nic Mutual,and paid it intoanother compa-ny they wereboth involvedin, the African Caribbean Positive Im-age Foundation (ACPIF).Unfortunately, Lee Jasper is claimingthat he had no knowledge of the loan.But both Lee and Emerson are listed asdirectors of the Ethnic Business Devel-opment Corporation, which is the par-ent company of Ethnic Mutual.Confused ? Me too ! This is rigmarolesquared ! All we know is that Emersonis being investigated for fraud and ofcourse he’s protesting his innocenceand claims to have instructed his solici-tors to sue - which we’ve concluded,knowing Emerson’s reputation, is justan unadulterated pile of complete bol-locks.

The Standard investigation quotes the

This is Greg Nowell - a manheld in high regard bymany in our community

but, alas, hasbeen shownto be, well,lets say - allthat glittersis not gold -and our Gregalways claimed to have loads ofthe stuff !We all took passing interest in the LeeJasper affair and like many right think-ing people thought and still think thatthere must be some fire under all theplumes. But then back in January itcame to our attention that the SouthLondon Green Badge Taxi Schoolwhich, according to Greg, he ran, wasraided by detectives investigating alle-gations made in the Evening Standardagainst the same Lee Jasper.

‘PING !’The lights went on, we sat up earspricked and fingers poised above key-boards - noting every snippet. ThenGreg and a fella named Clive Greywere both arrested and questionedover allegations of money laundering.Money Laundering ? Yuh cuddaknock we down with feathers ! It justgoes to show, you can never tell. Gregwas the perfect host when he allowedthe organisation Bajan Bajan Connec-tion to use the premises to hold meet-ings, it was said on more than oneoccasion that Greg was a millionaireand indeed he boasted on having con-trol of or responsibility for the

UK’s most dangerous Bajan, the infa-mous Henderson ‘Hendy’ Dalrymple,who was a member of but resignedfrom the ACPIF a month before anevent, the Black Plus Awards, was tobe held. Hendy told the Standard,..... ‘Follow the money’. Hendy gave us aninterview - its a few pages further on.Interesting or what?And as for the threat by Emerson to sueeverybody especially Hendy , Hendysays ‘he better keep he ass quiet or Igine press this button and open defloodgates’ Sounds like there’s more tocome.Bwoy ! Who said that this communityis boring !

Well, we’ll keep an eye on the reportsbloggs and message boards cos we’resure there is much much more to come.

The Brixton Base project alone re-ceived £510,000 from the mayor's busi-ness arm, the London DevelopmentAgency (LDA) to provide media cours-es to young black people. It included£280,000 for rent, even though theLDA is the landlord, and £230,000 fortraining. Brixton Base has not account-ed for £193,000 of its training budget.The LDA sent in its own auditors on 29October to trace the money. It has alsobegun legal action against BrixtonBase to recover £18,000 in unpaid rent.

All that money to give the black com-munity more rap artists - just what weneed eh ?

The story contiues !

LEE JASPER

There’s akind o fhush ....

Wunna knowhow the 60’ssong goes ! Aspecial hushseems to sur-round the disap-pearance of thefella pictured

here. As far as weknow he is in Barbados, but to allintents and purposes he might as wellbe on Mars having been kidnapped bydem lil’ green fellas.One minute Noel, a former Chairmanof UNITY, was publicly berating theBarbados government and authoritiessaying he’d never go back because heexperienced problems getting a vehi-cle into the country, and the nextminute without farewell, fanfare or somuch as a ‘f - off ’ - Noel upped anddisappeared pun we to - guess where! Yup !And nuhbody in talking !Mystery seems to surround his re-placement as chairman of the organi-sation too.So all we can do is best guess, youknow, speculate as to why Noel van-ished like a fart in a storm apparentlyin the dead of night to the one placehe swore he’d never live in !We’ll ask some questions and tell all -or to be more precise, tell wuh we fineout - in the next issue ! We gone !

NOEL LAYNE