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Influencing Skills

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today's aim and objective

The Ipswich Insurance Institute is providing high quality, relevant training for the continuous development of its active membership

You each take away two ideas that you can deploy before Easter

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An insight into Influencing

How are we influenced?Dr. Robert Cialdini’s - Six Principles of Influence

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Six Principles of Influence

• Seminal work of Dr. Robert Cialdini • Book ‘Influence : The Psychology of

Persuasion’• Explains the six psychological principles that

drive our powerful impulse to comply to the pressures of others

• It also explains how we can avoid being manipulated or unconsciously manipulating others “The materials in Cialdini's Influence is a

proverbial gold mine” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology

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Cialdini’s 6 Principles of Influencing

1. Reciprocity2. Consistency3. Social Proof4. Liking5. Authority6. Scarcity

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1 Reciprocation

• One person is required to repay in kind what another person has provided

• “One good turn deserves another”

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2 Consistency

• Most people have a desire to look and be consistent with their words, beliefs, attitudes and deeds because:

• Good personal consistency is highly valued by society

• Consistent behaviour provides beneficial approach to daily life

• “Doing what you said you would do”

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3 Social Proof

• People often decide what to do or believe in a certain situation by looking at what other people are doing and believing

• “it’s the way things are done around here”

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4 Liking

• People prefer to say ‘YES’ to those they know and like

• “I like you so….why not!”

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5 Authority

• People have a deep-seated obedience and compliance towards requests from authority

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6 Scarcity

• According to the scarcity principle, people assign more value to opportunities when they are less available

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Influencing Others - Activity

ReciprocityConsistencySocial Proof

LikingAuthorityScarcity

Working in small groups discuss how you could each influence a colleague using one of Cialdini’s six principles

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Networking

Have a purposeIntroduce yourself clearlyUse a memory stack to prime

conversationLearn about people by asking questionsHave your 30 elevator speech readyListen activelyUse Cialdini’s principle of reciprocityTry not to stay in the same place too longBe prepared to follow up

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Memory stack

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Elevator speeches

Pain – customer discomfort

Premise – how you might help

People – Britain's got talent

Proof – where you've succeeded

Purpose – what should happen next

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Describing and influencing Conflict

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Consider your response to conflict

Turn to the person next to you and discuss a recent, specific conflict situation explaining…

1.How assertive was I? How actively do I work to satisfy my own needs and concerns?2.How cooperative was I? How actively do I work to satisfy the other person’s needs and concerns?

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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model.

5 key responses to conflict:– Competing– Collaborating– Compromising– Avoiding– Accommodating

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Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model

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Competing

• Competing is assertive and uncooperative

• An individual pursues their own concerns at the other person’s expense

• This is a power-oriented mode, in which one uses whatever power seems appropriate to win one’s own position—one’s ability to argue, one’s rank, economic sanctions

• Competing might mean “standing up for your rights,” defending a position which you believe is correct, or simply trying to win

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Accommodating

• Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative - the opposite of competing

• When accommodating, an individual neglects their own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person

• There is an element of self-sacrifice• Accommodating might take the form

of selfless generosity or charity, obeying another person’s order when one would prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view

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Avoiding

• Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative

• The Individual does not immediately pursue their own concerns or those of the other person

• They do not address the conflict• Avoiding might take the form of

diplomatically sidestepping an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or simply withdrawing from a threatening situation

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Collaborating

• Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative – the opposite of avoiding

• Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons

• It means digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative which meets both sets of concerns

• Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, concluding to resolve some condition which would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem

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Compromising

• Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness

• The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties

• It falls on a middle ground between competing and accommodating

• Compromising gives up more than competing but less than accommodating

• Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding, but does not explore it in as much depth as collaborating

• Compromising might mean splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground position

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Reflective review

In groups discuss and identify stories from the news that demonstrate one or more of the 5 levels of conflict

• Competing is assertive and uncooperative• Collaborating is both assertive and

cooperative• Compromising is intermediate in both

assertiveness and cooperativeness• Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative• Accommodating is unassertive and

cooperative

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Reasons for Competing (Aggression) in Conflict

• You want to engage in quick, decisive action.• You have to deal with an emergency.• You are responsible for enforcing unpopular rules or

discipline.• You see the issues as vital and know you are right.• You need to protect yourself against people who

take advantage of collaborative behaviour. (Source: Cloke, K. & Goldsmith, J.: Resolving Conflicts at Work)

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Reasons for collaborating or using teamwork to resolve the conflict

• You believe it is possible to reach an integrative solution even though both sides find it hard to compromise.

• Your objective is to learn.• You believe it is preferable to merge the insights that come from

different perspectives.• You need a long-range solution.• You want to gain commitment and increase motivation and

productivity by using consensus decision-making.• You want to empower one or both participants.• You see it as a way to work through hard feelings and improve

moral.• You nee to help people learn to work closely together.• You want to end the conflict rather than put paper over it.• Your goals require a team effort.• You need creative solutions.• You’ve tried everything else without success.

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Reasons for Compromise

• You goals are moderately important but can be satisfied by less than total agreement.

• Your opponents have equal power and you are strongly committed to mutually exclusive goals.

• You need to achieve a temporary settlement of complex issues.

• You need a quick solution and the exact content doesn’t matter as much as the speed with which it is reached.

• Your effort at competition or collaboration has failed, and you need a backup.

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Reasons for Avoiding the conflict

• You regard the issue as trivial.• You have no power over the issue or can’t change

the results.• You believe damage due to conflict outweighs the

benefits.• You need to cool down, reduce tensions, or regain

composure.• You need time to gather information and can’t make

an immediate decision.• You can leave it to others who are in a position to

resolve the conflict more effectively.• You regard the issue as tangential or symptomatic

and prefer to wait to address the real problem.

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Reasons for Accommodating or giving in to the conflict• You realise you were wrong or want to show you can

be reasonable.• You recognise that the issue is more important to

others and want to establish good will.• You are outmatched or losing and giving in will

prevent additional damage.• You want harmony to be preserved or disruption

avoided.• You see an opportunity to help a subordinate learn

from a mistake.

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Objective: two ideas you can deploy Influence with reciprocityInfluence with consistencyInfluence with social ProofInfluence with likingInfluence with authorityInfluence with scarcityActively networkUse memory stackingCreate an elevator speech Be more assertiveBe more cooperative