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CHAPTER 12

Tips for Writing Application Essays

Take the essay paft of the application very seriously. Tosome schools, the essay is the most important part of yourapplication. Admissions officers at more than one schoolhave said that the essay can make or break a candidate,schances for admission_Be honest Be yourself. Be sincere. The admissionscommittees want to know who you are as a person. Do notmisrepresent yourself.Write about something that is important to you. Even if youare given a specific subject to wriie about, you wiil have tochoose your angle. Let your entrusiasm

for the subject showYour interest in the subject is a very imfortant, sometimes themost important, element in an""""y.ake your application as interesting and lively as you can.Admissions officers read hundreO", ,i"Vl" thousands, ofessays. You want yours to stand out.

Writing Essaysfor Undergtraduateand Graduate Schoof

Appfications

J{ tg, are planning to apply to undersunlred Srares, you will probably haveapplication process. So-" *f-r."fr',uiff the:l,j::|.-'l*ill give you more open-ended ques ,wlr practlce writing answers to typical appli.at essay questions.

(continues)

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Tips for Writing Application Essays (continued)

5.

6.

7.

Do not try to write the application essay in a hurry or at the last minute.You need to give yourself time to think about the question and do someprewriting and planning before you actually write the essay.Keep your audience and your purpose in mind as you plan and writeyour essay. t

Pay attention to the principles of good writing that you have studied inthis book. Make sure you have a main idea, suppod, and clearorganization. Include specific details so that your essay is uniquely aboutyou. Do not write an essay that is so general that it could have beenwritten by any number of other people. Add details to bring your essay tolife.

Follow the rules you have learned in this book for writing a goodintroduction, body, and conclusion.Your essay must be as perfect as you can make it. This means nogrammatical, spellin g, punctuation, or capitali zation mistakes. Haveseveral people-teachers, relatives, andlor friends-read it carefully foryou. Remember that neatness counts.Make a copy of your essay before you mail it. This will avoid problems ifyour application gets lost in the mail or in the admissions office. To besafe, send it registered mailwith a return receipt requested.

8.

9.

10.

Whether you are applying to undergraduate or graduate school, there are severalprinciples that you should pay attention to in writing your essay. Even if you are notplanning to attend a university in the United States, you will improve your writing skillsby practicing this kind of essay.

Undergraduate Essays

The application essay is very important toadmissions committees. Th.y use it to getto know the individual behind the testscores and grade point average. You shouldthink of your essay as a chance to showyoursel.f off to your best advantage. Try totell them a little more about yourself thanthey would know by reading the rest ofyour application. Admissions committeesalso use the essay to determine how wellyou write because good writing skills areimportant for success in college. In short,your essay is your special opportunity toprove that you are an interesting personand that vou can write well.

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-EAnalyzing an Undergraduate EssayHere is an example of an essay that was written in response to a university,s request:In readingyow application, we wanuse this ffiortuniiy i teII us someth as we can' We ask tlwt youof who'J;;;;;, i;;"you think, and" wouahelp us nwmd a serrseterest you the most.

Read the essay and answer the questions that foilow.

y worries and observe the,peaceful

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The experience does not end with my surfacing but continues with thestories my father, the other divers, and I tell afterward. There is a high level ofcamaraderie among all divers. We sit around like old pirates in a dank tavem,laughing as we talk about the stingrays who search for food in our hair (anexperience that was once described as "like b"trrg mugged by E.T.") or aboutthe dive master who found a bicycle down by one of the wrecks and started toride it around. My fellow divers do not know that I have not yet left behindmy fears of diving, because once I submerge, I inhabit a different world withthem.

Like leaming to scuba dive, leaming to read was also not easy for me.Most early-reading programs rely heavily on the teaching of phonetics.However, I have a leaming disability that makes understanding sound/symbolrelationships difficult. This made leaming to read through the use ofphonetics impossible. I was lucky, though, because I was accepted into FennSchool's Intensive Language Program. For two years (fourth and fifth grades),six other boys and I worked together, leaming how to compensate for ourleaming differences. In this class, I developed a trait that I am very proud of:the ability to work hard-not only in my studies, but in everything I do.

By continuing even when the waters were rough, and drawing on thesupport of my parents and teachers, I leamed to read and found an amazingworld opened to me. Just as my fellow divers do not know that I am anxiousabout scuba diving, most of my classmates do not know that I have a leamingdisabilicy. They just think that I am a diligent worker, but I know that, aswith scuba diving, there is a lot more to the story

1. What two experiences did the student write about? How are they related?'S7hat

was his purpose in talking about scuba diving?

Z. What did you leam about this student? rilVhat adjectives would you use todescribe him?

3. What does the essay reveal about the author's relationship with his father? Hisvalue system?

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rSAMPLE ESSAY QUESTIONS

,one.that asks you for autobiographical

ly wlth questions such as, ,,Tell us a littlen about yourself that isthe question indirectlvin life?"

Here are some typical essay topics that are often usedby colleges and universitiesin the United states' In smallgroups, discuss the topics and make notes about howou might answer each one.

1'*it"

a significant experience or achievement that has special meaning2' Discuss some issue of personal, local, or national concern and itsimportance to you.3'

l#r,m*rsonwho has had a significant influence on you and describe

ou and why?history what would-you change and why?that you have ever done.t and why?gone through and how it may affecr your

WriUng an Essay for an Undergraduate ApplicationPrewriting

a':ff"T:.tfiT":tt':l".ffTl"l,1pics above and, on a separate piece or paper, rreewrite

B' Reread your threefreewriting samples and choose one of them to develop into an::::il

using the ideas you generatedin your p.*ti i"g,'prepare an outine of the

on a separate piece of pape4 write the_ first draft of your essay. Be sure to startith an interesting introduction that will make the aimr"ion" committee excitedbout reading your essay. you shourd choose" ,",ioJof organization for yourupporting paragraphs, such as time order or order of importance, that best suitsour topic' Include specific details and exampres that nnirr rr"rp the committee get tonow you. Finaily, make your concrusion one that ttre reaoers wirr remember.

Revising and Editingwait at least one day, and then revise your essay using the checkrist on page 7s.rite or type a revised version of Vour

""""V.use the checkrist on page 56 to ed* your essay. Go'ect at the gramma'unctuation, capitarization, and speting enors. Give your essay to your teacher andomeone erse to read for any finar comLents before io,"opy

it over or type it.

TO WRITE

A

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You Be the Editor

Most applications also include several short-answer questions. Do not be deceived bythese questioru. They are just as important as the longer essay questions, and the sameprinciples apply.

Read the following student response to the short-answer question, "Tell us about

the academic areas that interest you most." Therc are seven mistakes. Find andcorrect the mistakes.

I am interested in mathematic and science, but at this point I have not yetidentified a specific area to major in. I am also interest in leaming more aboutthe field of engineering. At Blake University I can to explore all of these areas,before I decide upon a major. Blake even offer the opportunity to combine theminto an interdisciplinary major. finally, although I do not intend to major in art, Ihave a sffong interest in art and find the possible of taking courses at Blake'sSchool of Design attractive.

Filling Out an ApplicationMany colleges and universities in the United States use the same application form.ft is called the common application. Turn to the appendix on pages 17+-175 to seea sample common application from several years ago. Just for practice, take thetime to fill it out completely. Make sure that your information is accurate and yourhandwriting neat and legible.

Graduate School Essays

The biggest difference between essays for undergraduate and graduate school is in thesubject matter. A graduate school essay focuses on career goals and is generally referredto as a statarnent of purpose. The tips for writing application essays that you read onpages 165-166 are useful for both types of essays.

Analyzing a Graduate School Statement of purposeHere is an example of a successful graduate school statement of purpose. This studentwants to study civil engineering at the University of Michigan.

Stntnment of Pwpose: ('ly|e ar print clemly on d seryate piece of paper.) Yow stntement ofptnpose slnuldbe a concise, well-writtzn essay about yow background., Jour career goals, andlnw Michigan's gradu"ate progarn willlvlp lou meet Jour career and. e&rcatiorwl objectiues.

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Read the statement of purpose essay and answer the questions that forow.

, My lifelong paslign for srructures and constructyh:l I got my first LEGO,.,. I ,oulJspend ho,rrsb"|dt* and bridgeg and trying,o -ri" if,.m out ofa civil engineer'"nd

:":.i

1ier*aijovs was accompanving him .o orr.rrlt

he progress at his constructio., ,it.r. Nothing r* .or. iniriguing to me then;1ru;':l'ff::[H::;t'""'ro'- r'o^ " '["'t';;;;;-ee* pad to athe completion of the damy dream has been to be ,cohapolike my father's. I came toengineer, I would need to acquire a diversity of skills.

!'hen I was in high schoor, the Tirrkish economy wastightly held in theands of the gorr.-,'irrt. Almost af mr1o. industribs wer. dominated byovemment monopoli..r,.l.Ttng little room for theprivir. ,..,o. to flourish.hen, seemingly ovemight, Tr;[.r;bt from

"r,..orromy based on smallam i lv b us in ess es a''d go-vem-."ijr,"ra il;;;;; ;;; ^.";;. t it ive marke t,:,"$ i.$::;rl: y.i:.-, rvr.. rr,. privatizat ion of r,rkirh indus ft ies ir, o.big.o.porJ""r - Af

lvestments led to the birth oftransition has not alw struction. However, theeducated b;r-;pro irrkey lacked a solid core of

ru;:l1t business..il?Jil":1.;T*.,:Tiy.managers

ofbusinesspeople skilled at negotiating with

Realizing this need, I decided that the first step of my educational pranhould be to studv business,and ft";;;; at a university in the united States.his would provide me with.h-;;iid f"undatio"ir.""i[age and skills that would nSed-in my.construction management

come to the United States, Turkey *"r"on th. o

,.::

v'urc the

;""*::t^ltthcontempor"., o3to"s Westem influences became more

years, I have become fluent in English while eamingree in-finance, with a minor in economics. I amecond bachelor,s degree i",""rfr"_"iics. Now, I willcivil engineering.

unmanaged construction ecedented *"ttt ofengineeri with manageri ; a need for highly trainedM;;g;;;";;,;;;

".n Engineering and

present management knc || -titl expand Ypgl mvnecessary to p-l*, coordinate, and contror th. ai.,lri.t:ru:.#:ijllll,,involved in the construction industry i6"t th"t oy ba.kfio,rnd in economics

WBITING ESSAYS FOR UNDERGRADUATE AND GRADUATE SCHOOL APPLICANONS A7A


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and finance, coupled with my strong quantitative skills, makes me anexcellent candidate for graduate studies in rhis field.

Michigan's Corutruction Engineering and Management program willprepare me for a responsible management position in the construction industry.At Michigan, I hope to be involved in research that investigates theapplications of artificial intelligence techniques as well as compurer applicationsin the construction industry. I would also like to research stratigies foiinnovation in corstruction, especially as they relate to a developing country.Finally, I am interested in how the planning, design, and implementation oiengineering projects are integrated into a coherent, well-functioning system. Iho_pe to improve my understanding of the whole sysrem by examining how thesubsystems and various components fit together.

_ -since one of my goals is to improve the operation and management ofTirrkey's present inefficient infrastructure, I would like to study ways ofimproving efficiency in the use of labor and natural resources. This willinvolve rebuilding, restoring, and upgrading a rapidly deterioraringinfrastructure as well as creating new physiial stmctures that reflect theapplication of modem technology. Turkey desperately needs new airports,harbors, highways, public transportation systems, and industrial planls tofacilitate its rapid economic growth. The engineering problems turkey facesrequire professionals who are able to bring together idias from technoiogy,science, and systems and operations managemenE.

_ By eaming an M.S. degree in construction Engineering and Management,I will retum to Turkey equipped with the -ort rophirticated knowledg"e in myfield. I hope not only to leam practical informarion that I can apply ti thesituation in Tirrkey, but also to acquire the theoretical basis and research skills

s andsional with

1- 'v7hat did this essay tell you about the student's background?

z. \Vhy do you think the student mentioned playing with LEGo pieces in theintroduction?

3. \7hy is the student interested in studying engineering?

4. \7hat experiences led him to this interest?

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_-.-":-

5' How has he prepared himself for graduate school?

what qualities do you detect about this student that will make him successfulin graduare school?

Writing a Statement of purposePractice writing a statement of purpose. Respond to the forowing sampte question.

ln tfu spar'e belaw' plcase drscuss your educationalbackground., career objectiues, atd" researchntzrests' Be a specific as you can about t^re mea in which you pran n satdy.Prewriting

a choose one of the prewritingtechniques that you are comfoftabre with. use thepace below to generate ideas.

B, Organize your prewriting.

Writing

On a separate piece of paper; write the first draft of your essay.Revising and Editing

A. Wait at reast one day and then revise your essay using the checkrist on page 75.rite or type a revised version of your essay.B. allthe gramma[

r essay to your teacher andcopy it over or type it.

6.

READYTO WRITE

WRITING ESSAYS FOR UNDERGMDUATEAND GRADUATESCHOOLAPPLICATIONS 173


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APPENDIX

APPLICATION FOR I]NDERGRADUATE ADMIS SION

PERS{ONALDATALegal narne: Llittdk (coiltPbtc)tE?

Prcfcrto b called;

Are yor agplYing as a E ftestmanor fltrmsrer shdntr(nicloame) Formcr last name(s) if any:

Fortlrc terrn beginning:

krmrcnt horre addrcss: Nv*erudStet

ZpCity orlw cotntY

If rlitrerent fiom ftc abovg plear give your rmiling addre,ss for all admision conEspordrnae:

Mailing address: Itwbr ad SIN.I

Use until:CitY orTw

Telephone d mailiDg ad&ess:Zp

Pcrmancnt horr Elepbone:AruCod.AmC& Nwber

Binhdate: Citizenship: E U.S. Elp"nnarent Residentu.S'Mqrthr ful fcs

Pocsiblc arca(s) of academic concentratio'o/major:

Spccial collep or division if applicabh:

Possible carcer or nrofcssional plans:

willyoubeacandidatcforfinancialsid? [ Ycs ! No lfyes,tbe appmpriatefqm(s)wadwillbefilcdon:

School you atteild now'Dde of entrY

fl ooet lfisa ryPecet"orundecided !

orrurdccidcd E

Aatdo?ss = .,ir TtitAcr/cEEB cldcnumbor

CitlDeto of rocondarY graduation Is

yolr school public?

-

Pri\at!? parochial?

Collegc counselon Namc:

School tel,elePhone:Schml FAX:

AreeCdc ArcoC&

Thc folowbg ilcor are oPdoml:r-i f-

Socialsectritynumber,if any: Ll U ll - Ll LJ - LlLl Ll lJMadtal stalrs:

Place of birth:

CittFirst language if other than English:

How workl you describcyouself?Ctrcck any that aply'

E Acricar lDdian, Alaskan Nuive (tribal afiiliuionE Natirc Ha\raiian, hcific Islartu

Lurguage sPokcn at hooe:

E Mcxican-Amedcs! MexicanE African-Ame.rican, Black

Coutrl

E nsiu nrncrion Asian fnclrdinglndim suboootimrr) (country -) E mite' Anglo' Caucasist

tr Hispnic,ktim(ilEltrlinghefioRican)(cuffiy ) D Ottrcr(Speciry)

EDUS\TIONALDATA

A74. APPENDX


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Briefly dcscribe any schola$ic distinctions c honqs you have won, beginning with ninth grade:

EXITACTJRRICT'LAR, PtsRSONAL, AND VOLIJNIEER ACTTVITIESPlease ]ist yolr principal extracurricular, community, ard family activitics arxl hobbies in the order of their inrcrcst to you. Include specific cventsnd/or rnajor rcomplishmeots such as musical ifftnrment playe4 varsity lefiers eame4 etc. please ( / ) inthe righr column rhose rcrivitics youhope to pursue in college.

Grade levclor p6l_

Activity sccoodsry(ps)Dopnpla! to

pafticipatein collcge?

Fosirions hcld,honors won.

or lcrErs earDcd

Appoxilostctirrc spent

Hours Wcclspcrwccl. FrJ|ort0ilt2PS

List anyjob (including summcr cmployment) you havc held during the past threc years.Specific naturc

of wort ErqloycrApproximatE d8!es

of cmploynuttApgoxioatc no. ofbors spcnt per rrcek

I

In dre space provided below' briefly discuss which ofthes activities (exracurricular and pcrsonal activities or work expericnce) bas had tbc srosteaning for you, and why.

APPENDIX 17=i

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