reality of life. 11 · life with every strand of courage needed to make it in the journey of life....

KeturahZagga

THEREALITYOFLIFE

©KeturahZagga

FirstEdition,2017

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be

reproduced,storedinaretrievalsystemortransmittedinany

formorbyanymeans,electrical,mechanical,photocopying,

recordingorotherwisewithout thepriorpermissionof the

publisher.

ISBN:978-978-962-342-6

EditedBy:TitusTion

Author’sContact:Email:[email protected]

Tel:+2348165581142

PrintedIntheFederalRepublicofNigeria,

By:

Faithworldoutreachmedia

BesidePoliceAreaCommandLafia,

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Tel:09029415146,09050481335

Email:[email protected]

1

CONTENTSDedication................................................................................4Acknowledgment..............................................................5Foreword..................................................................................7Introduction...........................................................................9Editor'sPreface...................................................................11ChapterOne:Determination............................................14ChapterTwo:NeverAllowPastMistakes WeighYouDown....................................19ChapterThree:JudgingOthers......................................24ChapterFour:KnowYourHiddenPotentials...........26ChapterFive:AlwaysLetGo.............................................33ChapterSix:InvestInOthers..........................................36ChapterSeven:Idleness....................................................39ChapterEight:DetermineYourFutureBy MakingYourOwnDecision................44ChapterNine:Contentment.............................................50ChapterTen:Procrastination-TimeIsNever YourFriend..............................................54ChapterEleven:TheCompanyYouKeepMattersALot.......................................................................57ChapterTwelve:Pride.......................................................62ChapterThirteen:DoNotLimitYourself..................66ChapterFourteen:ThereIsNoShortcutto BecomingSuccessfulInLife............69ChapterFifteen:KnowingYourWeakness................72ChapterSixteen:Unity.......................................................82ChapterSeventeen:TheEnemyCalledFear.............89ChapterEighteen:HavingGoodThoughts TowardsOthers....................................98

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ChapterNineteen:PeopleWhoSucceeded AgainstAllOdds......................................102ChapterTwenty:AnsweringToYourCall....................113ChapterTwentyOne:KnowWhyYouExist.................118ChapterTwentyTwo:PlanAhead....................................128ChapterTwentyThree:ShareYourDreamWith TheRightPeople.....................................135ChapterTwentyFour:LearnToTake Responsibility.........................................141ChapterTwentyFive:NeverAllowAdversity ToWeighYouDown..............................148ChapterTwentySix:BelieveInYourself.......................156ChapterTwentySeven:MakeAnEffort......................165

3

hisbookisdedicatedtoGodAlmightythemakerTof heaven and earth, and to those who woulddedicatetheirtimedespitetheirbusyschedules

toreadingit.

DEDICATION

4

yimmensegratitudegoestoGodAlmightyforMhis inspiration, love and care for me. He

counted me worthy to have adequate

intellectual creative ability to write this book, I am

eternally grateful. And also to my parents, I owe

appreciationsandgratitude.

Noonewritesabookalone,itisaproductofmany

people, books and places that have influenced your

thinking.WhenIwasinspiredtowritethisbook,IknewI

would need help. It is with the help of the following

people that this book has become a success. It is

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

5

therefore important I acknowledge them due to their

influence, love and support and I am thankful they

believed inme. They areMr. ShawoBarde,Rev. Caleb

Tukurah, Mr. Williams Attah, David Mark, Ayenajeh

Adamu,PreciousMoses,AugustineIbrahim,PolycarpS.

Bawa,KefasMusa, PatrickBassa, LuckyDanladi, Barr.

EssonS.MadakiandMr.PeterSunday.Theyassistedme

intellectually,financiallyandinmanyotherways.

I must thank my teachers from my Alma-mater

whoseimpacthaskeptmegoing.Indeedtheyshapedmy

thoughts.Mr.PeterAbi,Mr.EgonogbaiEmmanuel,Mr.

JamesOtokpa.Ialsoacknowledgethecontributionsof

mygrandmother,Mrs.TainiBahagotomyliferightfrom

infancytilldate.

Finally,IamverygratefultoTitusTion,anauthorof

manybooks,editorandpublisher Icameacrosswhile

workingonthisproject.FromhimIwasmoreeducated

onhow to go about the taskprofessionally aswell as

offering to edit the work and indeed taking over the

entireprojectfromthatpointtothefinishedcopy.

There are many more out there that deserve

acknowledgementsfortheirrolesinmylifebutforlack

oftimeandspaceIcouldnotbeabletodothat.MyGod

whom I believe and serve with all my heart will

abundantlyblessyouall.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

hebookTheRealityofLife isallaboutrelayingTsomefundamentalaboutlife.Manypeoplethink,

and are engulfed innegative thoughts because

they are either not born into a rich family, or do not

attend good schools, or perhaps because they do not

haveanybodyinlifetohelpthem.Theyjustconcludethat

lifeisunfairsotheyeitherrefusetoattemptgoodthings

inlifeorevenjoingangsanddestroytheirentirelife.

Inthiswork,KeturahZaggaboldlyopinesthatlifeisnotthewaymostpeoplethinkaboutit.Accordingtoher,determinationandmoredeterminationisthepropelling

FOREWORD

7

factortosuccess.Onceyouaredeterminedinlife,youwillgettoyourdestination.Sosheadvicesyoudonotletthethoughtofdefeatpreventyoufromtakingthatvitalsteptosuccess.

Wearealsoencouragedbythisbooktomoveforwardnot minding our past mistakes. When you make amistake, learn from that andmakeamends.Yourpastshould serve as a stepping stone for your futureadvancementbecauseyouhavehiddenpotentialswhichneedtobeexplored.Donotbeidledoingnothing.

Reading thismaterialwill help youdiscovermanythingsthatwillmakeyoubetteryourlifeandequipyouwiththerequiredknowledgeoflivingasuccessfullife.

DavidMarkShekwoloMNPA,MNFAN,BSc,MSc,PhD.

8

THEREALITYOFLIFE

ife comes with many challenges but you canLalwaysconquerthosechallengesthroughfaithin

God and determination to succeed. Challenges

tendtobecomestepping-stonestosomeandobstacleto

othersdependingonhowoneisabletohandlethem.You

needtotakeaboldsteptoreachingyourgoal.Whatyou

needistobelievethatthroughGodyoucandoit.Donot

letthethoughtofdefeatsaturateyourmind.Youmaybe

downcast in your spirit today because of your past

difficulties but do not be discouraged, God is always

thereforyou.

INTRODUCTION

9

Whatyouneedtodofirstandforemostispledgeyour

allegiancetoGodAlmighty,notmortalsbecausemancan

fail,discourageorletyoudown.Tobesuccessfulinlifeis

notjustadecisionyouwillhavetomakeandcontinueto

paylipsserviceto;itmustbebackedupwithpersistent

efforts. You must also realize that you cannot do

everythingbutyoucanalwaysdosomething.Therefore,

dothelittleyoucanandneverbethetypethatsaysIcan

donothing.

My earnest desire is for this book to have a lot of

impactinyourlifeandthatyouwouldnotjustreaditfor

readingsake.Iwasinspiredtowritethisbookfromthe

backdrop of our day-to-day living which I observe is

affectingmostpeoplenegatively.

ThisbookpointstothefactthatwithGodonone's

side,determination,hardworkandself-motivationare

prerequisitestosuccessinlife.Weoughttoseeourselves

aswinnersnotfailuressowecanperformgreatfeats.

Neverwaitforasinglemomentforfortunestomake

theworldbetter,theworldneedsyoutomakeitbetter,

forthatreason,startnowfromwhereyouare.Nothing

willgiveyoujoythanseeingyourselfaspartofthosewho

madethingshappeninthisworld.

10

THEREALITYOFLIFE

EDITOR'SPREFACE

ifehasnodoubtassumedaveryseriouscomplex.LTherefore,travellingthroughlifeistantamountto

sailing on the vast, tumultuous high sea or

probably evenmore complicated and dangerous than

that.

So,likethewisesailorwhoknowswhereheisgoing

andwhentoarrivethere,andassuchleavesnothingto

chancebymakingsureheequipshimselfwithallofthe

journey'snecessities.

Tothisend,hetakeswithhimsufficientmaterialshe

willneedforthedurationthejourneywilllastknowing

11

thereislittlechancetorestockwhilethejourneylasts.

Inadditiontoalloftheabove,healsotakeswithhim

thecompasstomeasurehislocationandbearingateach

giventimeandplacesoastobesureheiskeepingfate

with his destination and duration and making

measureableprogress.

Thisiswhattheauthorofthisworkhasimpressively

attemptedtoachieve.KeturahZaggahas laidout,as it

were,onanartisticcanvasafascinatingworkofartthat

givesawayeverythingoneneedtoaidhisabilitytoface

lifewitheverystrandofcourageneededtomakeitinthe

journeyoflife.

The author of The Reality of Life is holistic in

deliveringwholesomecounseltobothyoungandoldin

how togoabout life andexpectpositive results. I, the

editor,amfirstbeneficiallyofthiswealthofwisdom.

Thispieceofworkpassesasavantageviewpointof

the life we all share and what makes it entire and

workable,andthis,achievedbyaveryyounglady,isvery

commendableindeed.

Thematureapproachandin-depthknowledgeoflife

bythisveryyoungladywhoisnotoneofthesocalled

privileged persons and without a lofty academic

credentialwillfascinateaswellasamazemany.

12

THEREALITYOFLIFE

Thisbookdiscussesalmosteverythingthatisneeded

tomakelivinghappyandverysuccessfulindeed.From

habits to imbibe and those to eschew, to examples of

individualswhowereabletoweatherthestormsagainst

theirlivesandasaresultbecameinfluential;theauthor

leavesnodoubtastowhatisresponsibleforourfailures

andmiseries andwhat todo to turnaroundour lives

positively.

Thisworkishighlyrecommendedforaconfusedand

misguidedgenerationlikeours.Theyoungpeoplewill

do themselves a world of good to make it a daily

companion just as awisepersondoeswith theBible:

God'sword.

The older people too will be greatly aided if they

humblyrespondtothecounselcontainedinthispieceof

wisdomfromayoungladywhowriteslikeanolderadult

withareservoirofwisdom.

Iearnestlyemployyoutoliterallydissectthiswork

foryourpersonalgoodandthatofthepeoplearoundyou

and indeed your generation and even generations to

come.TitusTion,

TeacheroftheWordofGodandPastor,

Aliterarygiant,aNovelistandPoet,

Andauthorofseveralgenresofliteratures,

andeditorofseveralpublishedworks.

13

Editor's Preface

he world we live in throws at us a lot ofTchallenges.Butthechallengeswefaceeachday

that tend to become stepping-stones to some

peopleandobstacles toothersdependingonhowthe

individualhandlesthem.

The Bible records in James 1:2-4 that every

individual must pass through one trial or the other.

Nevertheless,howyouhandlethosechallengeswould

either bring positive or negative outcomes. The great

menyouseetodaydidpassthroughonechallengeorthe

otherbutdidnotletthosechallengesbecomeobstacles

DETERMINATION

Chapter One

14

to reaching their goals. They worked hard and were

determinedtowithstandanydifficultiesthatcametheir

way.Weareabletoreadaboutthemtodaybecausethey

were never discouraged and theirmisfortune became

theirfortune.

SometimeswefeelGodhasforsakenuswhenweare

indifficulties,wearenotpatientenoughtowaitforGod's

willtobedoneinourlives.However,Godinhisinfinite

mercyloadsuswithhisbenefitswhenwewaitonhimby

unveilinghisblessingsuponus.Wedonotneedtobe

depressedbecause of the difficultieswepass through

becauseGodcoversourbacks.Heisourmightytower

whoneitherslumbersnorsleeps;ratherheshieldsus

andcoversuswithhispower.

Thefactis,whenyouaredepressed,yougiveroom

for thedevil topenetrate intoyourheart, leavingyou

with evil thoughts and thereforeungodly ideaswould

floodyourmindandattheend,youareledintodoingevil

whichwouldendupleavingyouwithlifelongguilt.

You might be passing through challenges like

sickness,unemployment,barrenness,lackofadmission,

ortrustingGodforfinancialbreakthroughbutnotethat

God is aware of your situation. The position you find

yourselftodaywasprogrammedbyGodlongagoforhis

name to be glorified.Wemust understand that God's

waysarenotthewaysofmen.

15

Determination

One of my greatest challenges is my family

background.IintendtostudyLawintheUniversityandI

keepaskingmyself,will thisworkoutconsideringmy

background?However,Ihavecometounderstandthat

Godisthereforme,heknowsmynameevenbeforeIwas

bornandhe is theretodothe impossibleastheBible

makeustounderstandinthebookofMatthew17:20,

Mark10:27andLuke1:37.Nothingisimpossiblewith

GodifonlyweputourtrustinHim.

IonlyprayforhiswilltobedoneinmylifeandIno

longerallowmyfamilybackgroundtoweighmedown

because I am looking forward toanupwardgoal.The

samethingappliestoeveryoneofus.Whenyourefuseto

allowthethoughtsofdefeattoget intoyourmindbut

rather,youworktowardsyourgoalwithdetermination

andvigournotwithstandingyourbackground,youwill

definitelyachievethatgoal.

You don't need to visit different prayer houses or

herbalists;whatyouneedtodoistoseekthefaceofGod

notmanforhiswilltobedoneinyourlife.Theweaponof

successisinyourhand,exploreitnow.

Oneofthereasonsweremaininthesamepositionfor

alongtimeisbecauseweseemtotrustmeninsteadof

God. And becausewe think God is slow in answering

prayers,webegintowanderfromonemantoanother

seekinghelpwhichwecannotfind.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Oneof the tactics the devil uses in capturing us is

bringingallmannerofpleasuresaroundusespeciallyin

timesofdifficulties.Hebringsflashythingsinorderto

captureourattentionandthenweendupfalling.Once

wedeviate,onlythegraceofGodcanrestoreus.Thefact

is,whenyouareindifficultiesdonotgiveuponyourself

becausewhenyoudo,thechallengesoflifewouldsurely

weighyoudown.BertieC.Forbes,agreatphilosopher

stated;

“History has demonstrated that the most notable

winners usually encounter heart breaking obstacles

beforetheytriumphed.Theywonbecausetheyrefused1tobediscouragedbytheirdefeats”.

In the words of Mark Victor; “Don't wait until

everythingisjustright.Itwillneverbeperfect.Therewill

always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect

conditions.Sowhat?Getstartednow,witheachstepyou

take,youwillgrowstronger,moreandmoreskilled,more2

andmoreselfconfidentandmoreandmoresuccessful”.

Donotbedeceived,difficultiesmustcome,butyou

oughttotakeaboldstepnotwithstandingthetrialsthat

comeyourway.Ifothermenbecamesuccessfulafterall

thechallengestheypassedthrough,youcandothesame.

With prayers, faith and hardwork, you can climb the

ladder,evenwhenyoufall,keepattempting;nevergive

upandyouwillattainyourgoalbecausedetermination

17

Determination

produces result. Never relent in your pursuit for

greatnessandsuccess.Thecourageouspersonfacesthe3

testoflifeheadon.

Ineveryheartliestheroomofpurpose.Whatyouare

abletoaccomplishisdeterminedinyourmindandwith

determination and self motivation, you attain great

things,everythingwillwalkoutwithoutahitchbutwhen

youlacktenacitytomakeattempts,youendatachieving

nothing.

References:

1.QuotationfromForbesVolume116(1975)P.124

2.World Quotes, from Brainy Quotes. An Extensive Collection ofQuotationswww.brainyquotes.com/../world.html

3. CourageousLiving;MichaelCatt,PublishedbyB&Hpublishinggroup,Nashville,Tennessee(2011),p.13

18

THEREALITYOFLIFE

he past is what hinders many people fromTmovingforward.Theykeepthinkingoftheirpast

insteadof findingaway towork towards their

future. Many people seem not to let go of their past

experiences. When you allow your past negative

experiencetocontrolandovershadowyourheart,you

aredoingyourselfmoreharmthangood.

Harbouringpastmistakesinyourheartmakesyou

unstableinallyoudo.Youremainstagnantbecauseyou

no longerhaveplans for the future.Everybodymakes

mistakes,nooneisperfect,weallmakeonemistakeor

NEVER ALLOW PAST MISTAKES

WEIGH YOU DOWN

Chapter Two

19

theotherinlife,butonceyourealizeyourmistakes,and

correctthem,takeaboldstepinadvancingyourfuture.

Everysuccessfulpersonyouseetodayhadaturning

point.Theydecidedtheywerenotgoingtoallowtheir

pastmistakestoweighthemdown.Theyhadgreatplans

fortheirfuture.Onceyouharbourpastmistakesinyour

heart,youwouldnotseeyourselfasonewhocanchange

theworld,andyoustopyourselffromtryingnewthings.

Youwillneverachievegreatthingsuntilyoutryandyou

shouldnotstoptryinguntilyouhavereachedyourgoal.

Believe you can change your world with lessons

learntfromyourpast.Believetheworldneedsyouand

thatpeoplearelookinguptoyouwithgreatexpectations.

ThosewhobelieveGodwantsthemtobeasuccess,not

minding their past, do great things and change their

world.

Ifyouresolveinattainingyourgoalbybeingconstant

and consistentnotminding themistakesof yourpast,

Thetruthisnomatterhowsimplisticitmaysound,you

areseparatingyourselffromthosewholiveinpastlife's

guiltandyouwillsurelydoexploits.

Unfortunatelymany Christians are held captive by

theguiltoftheirpastandtheirdownbeatexperiences

impedethemfromlivingintherealityofthepresent,let

alonelaunchingintotheircalculatedfuture.

20

Never Allow Past Mistakes Weigh You Down

Everybodyhashadanunpleasantexperienceatone

timeortheotherinlife,theywerereal;tosometheyare

yet lingering. It is up to you to take charge of your

thoughts, whether to divorce the past and marry the1future.

“Forget the former things:donotdwellon thepast”

(Isaiah43:18).“Don'tallowyourmindtobeopentothe2

spirit of your past”. You will never know the great

potentialthatliesinyouifyoudonotforgetyourpast.In

fact, your chances of living longwould be low due to

constant thinking which would eventually lead to

depression. You would become idle and as a popular

adagesays,“anidlemindisthedevil'sworkshop”.

Youmove freely because you do not think of your

past. Ifweare to learn fromourmistakes, retraceour

steps, we will be able to tell one or two persons our

experience,andindoingthis,weareequallysavingasoul

fromdestruction.Yourmisfortuneshouldbeastepping

stonetoyourfortune.

Thosewhocriticizeyoushouldkeepcriticizingwhile

theywatchyoubecomegreatasplannedbyGod.OurGod

isalwayscompassionateandeverreadytoembraceyou

whenyoucometohim.Hekeepsnorecordofourpastso

whyshouldyou?

OnceyougotoGodwithawearyheart,hewillcloth

21

THEREALITYOFLIFE

youwithjoyandtakeawayyourburdenandHewillabide

withyoutotheend.Iftherefore,thesupremeGodhas

forgivenyourpastsinsandmistakes,whoisthatmortal

tocontinuetoholdyouresponsibleforthem?

Therefore,wakeupfromyoursleepandtakeabold

step in advancing your future. Those who learn from

theirpastcannevergobacktotheirpast,onlydogsgo

back to their vomit. What has been your experience?

Whateveritwas,whynotletgo?

Neverlookdownonyourself,seeyourselfaspartof

those living and not merely existing; see yourself as

importantandthatyouwerecreatedforapurpose.Keep

the fire inyouburningandbehappy forwhoyouare.

Don'ttrytobewhatyouarenot.Alwaystrytobeyourself

andtheskywillbeyourlimit.Donotallowthesinsofthe

pasttohauntyou.

Anytimethedevilremindsyouofyourpast,remind

himof the blood already shed for youon the cross of

Calvary.Oursinsarefullypaidforandrememberedno

more(Romans4:5,Hebrews10:17).“Youwillagainhave

compassiononus;youwilltreadoursinsunderfootand

hurlallouriniquities intothedepthsofthesea”(Micah

7:19).

Anythingthrownintothesea,shouldbeconsidered

forgotten;asoursinsarethrownintotheseabyGodonly

22

Never Allow Past Mistakes Weigh You Down

thosewhodonotbelieveinChrist'ssavinggraceallow

their past haunt them. Match unto victory; you are a

victorbecausetheLordhasconqueredforyouandso,

youaremorethanaconqueror.IfyouindeedhaveJesus

inyou,thenyouareonyourwaytoachievinggreatness.

References:

1.SalvationisMigration;AugustineIbrahim.PublishedbyTimmy

GraphicsOldMinnaGarage,Suleja.NigerState.2008,p95&

96.2.NoMoreSheets;Dr.JuanitaBynumII,2010,p198

23

THEREALITYOFLIFE

ostofthetimes,wesitinjudgementoverotherMpeople'smistakes,leavingourownbehind.We

often tend to point accusing fingers atwhat

othersdoanddonotsearchourconsciences.

Weseemtobecometoorighteoustorealizeourown

mistakes and shortcomings; focusing rather on every

slight mistake others make. This attitude is common

amongChristians.

Ifabrotherorsisterfallsintotemptation,whatheorsheneedsislove.Atthatpoint,intime,heorsheneedscloseattentionandencouragementthatwillrevivehim

JUDGING OTHERS

Chapter Three

24

orher.Youshouldgivethepersonreasonstofeelloved.HowcanyoudrawabrotherorsisterwhofallsintosinsbacktoChrist?Itisdefinitelynotbyjudgingthatperson.Whenyou judgeyour fellowbrotheror sister, youareequallydiscouraginghimorherfromgoingtoGodformercybecauseyoumakehimfeelheistheworstsinneronearth.

TheBibleneverrecordedormentionedanyworstsinorsinneronearth, theBiblerecordedthat;“...allhavesinnedandfallshortofthegloryofGod”(Rom3:23).Weallarenotperfect.However,weseemtobetooperfecttoseeourownfaultsbutratherpointfingersofaccusationonthosewhofall;anattitudewemustcondemn.

Whathappenswhenyou treat your fellowbrotherwithcontempt?Yougraduallypushhimintothewaitingdestructivearmsoftheworld.Sometimesyouseeyourfellowbrotherandconclude, thisonewouldnotmakeheavenoristheworstsinner.ButyouforgettheScripturethatsays;“IwillhavemercyonwhomIhavemercyandIwill have compassion on whom I have compassion”(Romans9:15).

God is not aman, if he chooses to judge us aswedeserveandpunishusaccordingtooursins;wewouldallbewipedoffthefaceoftheearth.

Note that you cannot remove a speck from yourbrother's eyeswhen you have a log in your own eyes(Matthew7:1-5).Remember,whenyoupointfingersatsomeone,theotherthreearepointingatyou.

25

THEREALITYOFLIFE

anypeoplearecreatedtobegreatinlifebutMbecause they do not know their talents and

gifts,theyendupnotmakinganyimpactinlife.

Godgaveeveryindividual,talentsandgiftssotheycan

edifythebodyofChrist;thegiftsandtalentswerenot

meanttobedormantinourlives.Whatmakesourgifts

andtalentsdormantandunutilizedisbecausewearenot

abletodiscoverthem.Manyhavediscoveredtheirgifts

andtalentsandareusingthemtobenefithumanitywhile

othershavenot.

Inknowingyourhiddentalentsandgifts,somebody

KNOW YOUR HIDDEN POTENTIALS

Chapter Four

26

canbeofhelptoyou.Whatyoudobestandlovedoing

mostofthetimemightbethehiddentalentorgiftyouare

notabletodiscover.Youcannotcreateimpactinother

peopleliveswhenyoudonotdiscoveryourtalents.We

allhavemultiplehiddenpotentials inuswaitingtobe

discovered.Whatyouneedasanindividualistotrythem

outinordertoknowyourstrengthandweakness.

Somepeoplehavethegiftofwisdom,whileothers

the gift of discernment, yours would differ from the

others because we were all created with different

abilities.

Neverenvyotherpeople'spotentialsbecauseyours

isalsospecial.PraythatGodrevealyoursandthenwork

towardsharnessing it.Whenyouput interest inwhat

youlovedoing,youbringoutthebestinyou.Youwere

givenseveralgiftsandtalentssoyoucouldserveothers

aswellascreateimpact.

I knowwhat I candoand I findgreat inner joy in

doing it. You need to discover yours. If you do not

discoveryoursotherswoulddo that foryou,and that

wouldturnouttobeyourundoing.Inmyopinion,donot

followothersindoingwhattheydo,beyourself.

IfunanyaA.Okeh-Ezeh inherbook “AddingValue”

says;“Youwillneverdiscoverwhoyouaremeanttobeif

you use another people's standard to rediscover

27

THEREALITYOFLIFE

yourself. Youwillneverknowwhyyouexistifyouuse1

someoneelse'sexistencetomeasureit”.

Knowyourweaknessandtrytobringoutthebestin

you.Donot abandonyour gifts inpursuit for another

thingbecauseyouwouldnotfulfilthepurposeofyour

existence.

Ineveryoneliesapotentialandtalent,whatisrareis

lack of understanding in discovering it. There is

somethingspecialinyouthatnobodycanreplace;you

canneverattainyourdestinywhenyouarefarfromyour

potential.Anythingyoucandoneedstobedone,so,why

notgetstartednow.

Ihavegrownupwithagreatpassionofbecominga

writer,andbecauseofthispassionIstartedputtingevery

idea that crossesmymind intowriting. At the age of

eleven, I would sit with my pen and paper to write

debates,andthen,Ialsolovedebating.Whenyouaskme

whatIintendtobecomeinfuture,IwouldtellyouIwant

tobecomeanauthorofmanybooks.

WhatamItryingtosay?Whenyouknowyourhidden

potentials,youdevelopapassionforitandeverything

wouldworkoutwellforyou.“Ifyouwanttorealizeyour

full potential, you can't look for cheap seats at the

shallowendofthepull.You'vegottostepout,stepinand2stepup!Thatwilltakenothinglessthancourage”. With

courage,youcanstirupthathiddenpotentialinyou.

28

Know Your Hidden Potentials

Opportunitiesareallaroundyou.Whatyouneedis

wheretoputyourfocusbecausewhereyoufocusyour

attention, you create strength. “Concentration and

determinationaresomeofthekeysthatopenthedoorof

accomplishment.Toputallyourenergytoonepointand3togodirectlytothatpointlookingneitherleftnorright”.

JohnMasonwrites; “Theworldmakes room for a

personofpurpose.Theirwordsandactionsdemonstrate

thattheyknowwheretheyaregoing...inyourheartthere

isasleepinglioncalledPurpose,wakeitupandmakeit

roar.Beonamission,haveadefinitesenseofdirection

and purpose for your life... from strong convictions4

precedegreatactions”.

A focusedheartdoesnotwaituntilhehasarrived

before he starts working towards his goal, he starts

whereheisandgraduallyreachesgreatness.

Therefore:

1. Advance your potential with hard work: Work

hardtoachieveyourgoal!Youcanneverbegreat

withouthardwork.

2. BelieveintheabilitiesGodhasgivenyou.When

that happens, you do things in an extraordinary

way. Believe you can domore than you imagine.

Neverbediscouragedthegreatmenyouseetoday

overcametheirdiscouragements.

29

THEREALITYOFLIFE

3. Know the people you mingle with: determine

withwhom youwant tomake friends. Never let

yourfriendschooseyou.Choosetheminstead.Note

thatwhoever cannot help you achieve your goal

willeventuallydestroyyourfuture.Trytoassociate

with friendswhomakeyou focused: friendswho

are always ready to help you in advancing your

future.Makefriendswiththosethatchallengeyou

positively.

4. Try to make friends with those who are more

advanced and intelligent than you are, not

figureheads.

5. Donotdowhatothersdo:Weareallcreatedwith

differentpotentialsanddifferentfutureambitions.

Do not go into music because you see Mr. A

performingwellandearningalotofmoney.

Dowhatyouwerecreatedtodo.Manypeopleyousee

todayareintodoingwhattheywerenotcreatedtodo

andbecauseofthis,evilcontinuestoabound.Donotlet

goof your callinganddowhatyou seeothersdoand

succeed.Theysucceedbecause that is theirGod-given

potential.

Useyourpotentialswiselyandwithgreatfocusyou

willalwaysbringoutthebestinyou.AnthonyRobbins

says;“Thetruthofthematteristhatthere'snothingyou

30


can'taccomplishif:

1. Youclearlydecidewhatitisthatyou'reabsolutely

committedtoachieving,

2. You'rewillingtotakemassiveaction,

3. Younoticewhatisworkingornot,and

4. Youcontinuetochangeyourapproachuntilyou

achievewhatyouwantusingwhateverlifegivesyou6

alongtheway”.

Remainfocusedandalwaysrelyonyourabilitynot

yourdisabilities.Useyourhiddenpotentialstodigout

yourdiamonds.Lovewhatyouhaveinyouanddonot

envywhatyouseeinothers.

Thosewho laughat yourhiddenpotentials should

keeplaughing.Justbeontherighttrack.Whatyouthink

aboutyourselfmattersmost.Youaretheonlyonethat

canuseyourabilities.Nobodycanrepresentyou;theydo

nothavetheuniqueabilitiesthatyoupossess.

Be sure of what you are good at doing. You have

different hidden potentials and they are dormant

becauseyouhavenottriedthemout.Askyourselfwhat

doyoulovedoingmost?Checkitout;itmightjustbethe

hiddenpotentialyouhavenotdiscovered.

References:

1. Ifunanya A. Okeh-Ezeh; Adding Value, Checkout Publications

31

THEREALITYOFLIFE

DelightPlaza,(2007),p27.

2. Courageous living; Michael Catt; B & H Publishing Group,

Nashville,Tennessee(2011),p40.

3. Ifunanya A. Okeh-Ezeh; Adding Value, Checkout Publications

DelightPlaza,(2007),p6&7.

4. John Mason; Know Your Limits- Then Ignore Them, Insight

PublishingGroup,Tulsa:(1998)p125.

32


evengeisafruitofangerwiththebitteresttasteRandmostfoulsubstanceinit.Nopassionofthe

humanheartisascruelasit;eventheheartthat

bearsrevengeistheworstforit.Itchurnsouta-never-

ending-viciouscirclethatcanonlybebrokenwhenwe

choosetoforgive.

Alwaysletgoofanywrongdonetoyou.Whenyoulet

goofanywrongdonetoyou,youarebeingsuperiorto

that person who wronged you. Never go extra mile

becauseyouwanttotakerevengeonsomeonewhohurts

you.

ALWAYS LET GO

Chapter Five

33

Ihavelearntfrommystudiesthatwhenoneharbours

revenge in his heart, he ends up doingmore harm to

himself than good and the chances of him living long

wouldbelowduetoheartproblemsandthinkingthatdo

notyieldgoodresult.

Revengeandangerarethecausesofseriousinternal

complications. Suppressed anger and bitterness can

makeapersonemotionallyupsettothepointoflosing

hisorhermind.Inthisstatehemakesmovesthatare

harmfulanddeceitful.Whenyouallowangertobepart

ofyouitisverydifficulttoforgiveanywrongdonetoyou.

You allow yourmind and emotions tomove over the

vexationsoftheday.

Atthispoint,yourhealthisruined.Yourresentment

doesn'taffecttheotherperson,notatallbecauseyouend

upbeingirritableandhostile.Ittriggersyourfeelingsof

negativity and anger within yourself and you end up

gettinghurt.Thisisjustplainsilly.Youshouldknowthat

you have control over your emotions, so let your

emotionsempoweryoupositively.Mostheartproblems

are really thinking problems. There is no greater

guaranteeofahappy,healthyandprosperouslifethan

beingfreefromthethoughtofrevenge.Youshouldnote

thatwhateveryoukeepthinkingonmostof the times

worriesyouandpreoccupiesyouinyourdaytodaylife.It

robs you of happiness. What you need to do is to

eliminatetheseproblemsandworries,andjustbefree

34

Always Let Go

withyourself.Forgiveyourself

Resentmentdoesnotonlymeankeepingmalicewith

someone. There are people who are not content and

happywiththemselves.Howthencanyoubefreewith

peoplearoundyouwhenyouarenotfreewithyourself?

Inpsychology,yourlevelofhappinessisdefinedas

howmuchyoulikeyourself.Yourself-esteeminturn,is

determinedbyyourself-image.

There is what psychologists have discovered: the

moreyourbehaviourisconsistentwithhowyourideal

behaviour should be; the more you like and respect

yourselfandthehappieryouare.Sodon'tletyourselfbe

trappedinyouruglypastthatyouseemnottoforgive

yourself.Youneedtogetfree.

The great summary of all religions, philosophies,

metaphysics,psychology,andsuccessisthis:youbecome

whatyouthinkaboutmostofthetime.

Theeasiestwaytoletgoeverywrongdonetoyouisto

live as if nothing happened. We are not in the right

positiontorevengeourwrongs.IfGodwillpunishevery

oneofusaccordingtoourwrongs,nomortalonearth

wouldsurviveit.

IfGodforgivesourwrongs,weshouldforgivethose

whowrongusalso.

35

THEREALITYOFLIFE

odcreatedeveryoneofuswithapurpose.ThatisGwhywedonothaveequalfingers.Godplacedyou

inahighpositionsoyoucanhelpsomeoneout

there.Heexpectsyoutoinvestinothers.

Inoursocietytoday,thoseinhighpositionsdonot

care for the people under them; they tend to become

obstacles to the less privileged ones. They prefer to

removetheladdertheyusedinclimbingtotheirsuccess

sothatotherswouldnotusethatsameladdertoclimb

andbecomelikethem.

Consideritgreatjoytoinvestinothersbecauseyou

INVEST IN OTHERS

Chapter Six

36

arestoringyourtreasuresinheaven.Alwaysremember

thatsomebodyhelpedyouatonepointortheother.Ifyou

havetheresourcesofhelpingsomeonewhoisinneed,do

it,bepartofhissuccessandachievementinlife.

Manypeoplebelieveitisallaboutgivingoutmoney.

Giving out money is good but what matters most is

investing in others. Somebody needs something from

youthatismorethanmoney:revealtohimhowtomake

hislegally.

Whenyougivememoneytoday,Iamsureofcoming

backtomorrowbutwhenyourevealtomehowtomake

mine,Iwon'tcomeback.Alwayslearntoinfluenceothers

positivelynotnegatively.

Givetothoseinneed;investinthemnotbecauseyou

haveenoughbutbecauseyoucare.Rememberyouwere

oncelikethem.Neverdespisehelpingothers,nomanis

anisland,youmaynotremaininthatpositionyouare

foreverandyouhavenoslightestideawhowouldbeyour

saviourtomorrow.

Sometimes,wehavewhat it takes tohelp those in

needbutduetothelevelofgreedandselfishnessinus,

we prefer to watch others suffer. Many qualified

applicantsarejoblessandbecausethosewhoareinthe

right position to help refuse to give them jobs, they

engageindifferentcrimes.Inourcountrytoday,thereis

37

Invest In Others

high level of crime due partly to the high level of

unemployment.

Theyouthneedyourhelp.Investinthemandwith

theirgreatpotential, theywouldchange theworld for

good and you will be happy that you have affected

someone'slifepositivelyandtheglorywillreturntoour

Father in Heaven. Doing that will prevent them from

involving in social vices such as: armed robbery,

prostitution,takingillicitdrugs,kidnapping,trafficking

ofallkinds.

Investinothersandyouwillneverregretit.

38

THEREALITYOFLIFE

pendingtimedoingnothingimportantisidleness.SGodexpectseveryindividualtoworkandthatwas

whywewere createdwith two legs and hands.

WhenGodcreatedman,hegavehimthetaskoftillingthe

gardenandnamingallthethingscreated.“TheLordGod

tookthemanandputhimintheGardenofEdentoworkit

andtakecareofit”(Genesis2:15).

God never created anybody to be idle. He expects

everyoneofustoworkhardinordertojustifythereason

ofbeingcreatedandalive.Heexpectsustobeengagedin

doingsomething.

IDLENESS

Chapter Seven

39

ApostlePaulwarnsagainstidlenesswhenhecharged

the church in Thessalonica to keep away from people

who are idle (II Thessalonians 3:6). Itmay alarm you

whenyouknowthenumberofidlepeople,especiallythe

youths. Many do not engage themselves in doing

somethingtoearnaliving.Ifyouaskthem,theywilltell

you''IgraduatedwithfirstclassintheuniversitybutIam

notemployed''.Youdonotwaittobeemployedbefore

you start doing something. You can start from

somewhere.

Donotdespisehandwork it isvery lucrativeandit

makesyouhaveself-worth.Donotsaythereisnothing

youcando.FindsomethingdoingbecauseGodwillonly

crown, with success, the effort youmake. You do not

expectMannatofallfromheavenwhenyoudonotwork.

Godcondemnsidleness.Hewantseveryoneofusto

work.Youdonotneedtodependonsomebodybefore

you feed. Moreover, you do not expect somebody to

continuefeedingyou.Youdonotstayidleandexpectfood

tobeonyourtableeveryday.Anymanwhodesirestoeat

deservestowork.

Oneofthetacticsthedevilusesincapturingyouthsis

idleness.Thedevilwouldalwaysgoaboutlookingforan

idlemind.Sinceyouarenotengagedindoingsomething,

hewillfindsomethingforyoutodo.Thosewhoengaged

themselves in armed robbery, kidnapping and

40

THEREALITYOFLIFE

prostitutionaredoingsobecausetheyrefusetoengage

their minds positively. They want quick money and

becauseofthis,thedevilwouldimpressontheirminds

thatrobbery,prostitutionandkidnappingwouldmake

themearnquickmoney.

Whenyouareidle,thedevilwoulduseyoutocause

havocinthesociety.Idlenessisadiseaseanditkillsfaster

therefore,whatsoeveryourhandsfindtodo,doitwell.

Donotdespiselittlethings;thatlittlethingyouseetoday

wouldmakeyougreattomorrow.

Success comes fromhardwork.The secret behind

everysuccessishardwork.Youdonotexpectsuccessby

justsittingandfoldingyourhands.Itisnoteasybutonce

youaredeterminedtoworkhard,youwillnotregretit.

“Thesluggard'scravingwillbethedeathofhim,because

hishandsrefusetowork”(Proverbs21:25).

John C. Maxwell once retold a story by Zig Ziglar

about a boy called Jeb. When Jeb was growing up,

everyday, his mother would come into his room and

wakehimat5:30,saying,“Jeb,it'sgoingtobeagreatday”.

Butthatwasn'twhattheboywantedtohearatthat

timeinthemorning.Itwashisjobeverydaytogooutside

firstthingandgetcoaltostartfireandheatthehouse.

Andhehatedit.Onedaywhenshecameinandsaid,“It's

goingtobeagreatday”,Jebsnapped.“No,mum,it'sgoing

41

Idleness

tobealousyday.I'mtired,thehouseiscold.AndIdon't

wanttogetthecoal.It'sacrummyday!”“Sweetheart”,she

replied,“Ididn'tknowyoufeltthatway.Whydon'tyou

justgobacktobedandgetsomemoresleep?”

Jeb thought he gotwhat hewanted. “Why didn't I

thinkofthesebefore?”Heaskedhimself.

Hewokeupabout twohours later.Thehousewas

warm,andhecouldsmellbreakfastcooking.Herolled

outofbed,putonhisclothes,andwentouttothekitchen

table. “Boy! I am hungry,” he said. “I'm all rested up.

Breakfastisalreadycooked.Thisisgreat”.“Sweetheart”,

His mother said, “You won't get any food today.

Rememberhowyousaiditwasgoingtobeaterribleday?

Asyourmother, Iamgoingtodomybesttomakeita

terribleday foryou.Yougo toyourbedroomandstay

thereallday.You'renotallowed tocomeout,andyou

don'tgetanythingtoeat.I'llseeyoutomorrowmorning

at5:30.”

Jebwalkeddejectedlybacktohisroomandgotinto

bed.Andhewasabletogobacktosleepforaboutanhour.

Buttherewasonlysomuchsleepingapersoncoulddo.

He spends the day moping around his room, getting

hungrierandhungrier.Andwhenitfinallygotdark,he1

wentbacktobedandtriedtosleep.

Thatiswhathappenstouswhenwerefusetowork.

42

THEREALITYOFLIFE

No food for a lazyman.Younowunderstandwhy the

Biblewarnsagainstlaziness.Littlesleep,littleslumber,

noworkdone,hungerwillbeyournexthost.Because,my

dear,youwillgohungry.ThefewminuterefusalofJebto

heatthehousemadehimgohungryfortherestofthe

day.Nomatterhowsmall,juststartsomething,withtime

youwillexplode.Handworkislucrative.Whateveryou

dointhepresent,youwillseetheoutcomeinthefuture.

Thereisnorecordofanylazymanbecomingsuccessful

oranidlemanbecomingsuccessful,allrecordspointto

thosewhowork and strivehard to achieve greatness.

Work hard and the Lord will crown your effort with

success.

Reference:

1.ThestoryofJebisanexcerptfromyourRoadmapforSuccessby

John C. Maxwell previously published as the Success

Journey (published in Nashville, Tennessee, by Thomas

43

Idleness

avingapictureofwhatyouwantyourfuturetoHlooklike,youmakeplansaheadinadvancingit.

Youdonotwaituntiltomorrowbeforeyoustart

planningforyourfuture.Youdonotneedotherpeopleto

tellyouwhatyouwant.

Thegreatestmistakeyoucanevermakeisnotbeing

able to have an idea or decision. Your level of

indecisivenesswouldbringunfruitfulness.

Manypeopleyouseetodayaresittingonthefence

andhavenoideawhattodoandwhatnottodo.Theydo

notevenknowwheretheyaregoingbecausetheyhave

DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE BY MAKING YOUR OWN DECISION

Chapter Eight

44

noplansfortheirfuture.Alltheydoisseekideasfrom

otherpeople.

Whenyoudonothaveamindofyourown,youwilldo

whatothersdesirebyfollowingthemsheepishly.Butfor

youtodetermineyourfuture,youmusthaveanidea;you

mustlearntomakeyourowndecisions;makeplansfor

yourself. Do not live a double-minded life. It is very

dangerous to sit on the fence.An indecisiveperson is

unstableinallhedoes.Hismindkeepsswingingtoand

frolikeapendulum.

Lenrie Peter in his poem “The Fence” symbolizes

moral indecisiveness of the poet. Each direction he

followsthwartshisplansandbecausehewassittingon

thefence,hecouldnotdetermineorattainhisobjectives.

Youmustsetanobjectiveinordertoattainyourgoal.In

thepoem,youcouldseethatthepoetisbesetwiththe

problemofchoosingbetweengoodorevilwitharesult

thathefailstomakeadecisivechoice.

Sometimeswe find it extremely difficult to decide

whichwaytofollow,whattodoandwhatnottodo.Be

certain that you cannot attain any heights when you

don'tmakedecisions.

Mostpeoplearesoconcernedabouttheopinionof

others that the lives they live is determined by what

peopleaskthemtodo,theyhavelittlesenseofpersonal

45

Determine Your Future By Making Your Own Decision

values. This is because they are scared of rejection,

criticism and embarrassment; this is not healthy for

anybody.Yourself-imageisworthlivingfor.Youhavethe

righttodeterminehowandwhatyouwantyourfutureto

looklike.Realisethatnooneelseisresponsibleforyour

future.

Youought to riseabove theopinionsofothersbut

that doesn't mean you should not take advise from

peoplejustbesensitiveenoughsoyouwouldnotmiss

theright track.Letyourgoalsbewhatyouchoose for

yourselfnotwhatsomeoneelsewantsforyou.

Deborah Smith Pegues, in her book 30 Days to

Taming your Fears writes, “I once worked with a

spacecraftengineerwhorevealedhehadgraduatedfrom

medicalschoolonlytofindthathehadnopassionforthe

profession.Hehadwastedallthoseyearstoplacatethe1desiresofhiswell-meaningparents”.

Yourlevelofindecisivenesswouldpreventyoufrom

attainingyourgoal.Workonwhatyoubelieveisbestfor

you. Brian Tracy in his book Goals writes; “A major

definitepurposealsoactivatesyoursubconsciousmind

onyourbehalf.Anythoughtplan,orgoalthatyoucan

clearlydefineinyourconsciousmindwillimmediately

start to be brought into reality by your subconscious2

mind(andyoursuper-conscious)”.

Be sensitiveenoughasnot to letpeople'sdecision

46

THEREALITYOFLIFE

controlyou.Youneedtogettoapointwheresomeone

tellsyouIdon'tlikeyouandinsteadoffeelinginferior,

youtellhimbutIdo'sweetheart'thatrequiresawholelot

ofconfidenceonyourpart.Whenyoubuildconfidencein

yourself,youwon'tgiveroomforpeopletomakeyoufeel

inferior.

Ihavepassedthestageoflettingpeoplemakemefeel

inferior. I knowwhat I want, with determination and

faith inGod, Iwillpursuemycareerwithoutallowing

anyonetomakemefeelinferior.

Don'tjustdowhatpeopleaskyoutodobecauseyou

want to please them, it must be something that you

personallyreallywant.

I will always appreciate the words of Rev. D. D.

Sakoma.Hesaidtome,“Keturah,ifLawiswhatyouwantI

prayGodtograntyouyourheartdesire”.

Weneedpeoplewhohelpusdevelopconfidencein

ourselvesnotthosethatmakeusfeelinferior.

LEARNTOMAKEPOSITIVEDECISIONS

Most people make decisions that end in regrets.

Duringmysecondaryschooldays,mymateswhowerein

Artsclassallchangedtoscience.Tothemitwasbesttobe

inthescienceclass.So,althoughtheyloveartsandare

47


giftedinit,theydon'twanttowastetheir“A”statuson

Arts. What a serious misconception! They went to

science class not because they had passion for it but

because theywant tobecalledsciencestudents.Plain

silly!Isn'tit?

IfunanyaA.OkehEzehthepublisherofAddingValue

Magazine told her story of how she went into the

UniversitytostudyEngineeringwhenshewassureshe

hadagiftforcreativewriting.Thefunnythinginherown

casewasthatmostofthetimewhenhermateswerein

theengineeringdrawingroomorengineeringworkshop

shewasinherroomwritingcheckoutstories“Mostofmy

course mates that knew me very well then were not

surprisewhentheyfoundoutthatIendedupawriter,”

shesaid.Youcanmakewrongdecisionsbutagiftcannot

beburiedwithoutafight.

Whenyouknowwhatyouwantoutoflifeyoumust

remaindogged.

Whataworld!Peoplealwayshavetoomuchtosayin

order to discourage you but always remember

Churchill's speech; “This is the lesson: never give in,

nevergivein,never,never,never,neverinanything,great

or small, large or petty never give in except to

convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to

force;neveryieldtotheapparentlyoverwhelmingmight

oftheenemy”.

48

THEREALITYOFLIFE

There is a great distance between most people's

dreamsandtheresultachievedduetolackofdecision.

Here are steps to great achievement, please follow

themcarefully;

1. Put God First: In all your endeavours put your

trust in God for he is our refuge and strength

especiallyinourweakness.

2. Have Passion For Your Gift: When you have

passion for your gift, people's decisions won't

discourageyoufrompressingon.

3. AvoidUnwiseAssociation:Thosewhocouldhave

been achievers have been deceived and their

potentials and abilities have been destroyed

becauseoftheadvicetheyreceivedfromfriends.

4. HaveaHighSelf-Esteem:Self-esteemisdefinedas

“howmuchyoulikeyourself”.Itdeterminesyour

self-image.

References:

1.DeborahSmithPegues,30Daystotamingyourfears,P.149

2.BrianTracy,Goals,P.7

49


heOxfordAdvancedLearnersDictionarydefinesTcontentment as; “A feeling of happiness or1satisfaction”. To be contented, you must

appreciatewhateveryouhave.Youcanneverappreciate

orbesatisfiedwhenyouarenotcontented.

Bybeingcontented,youholduntowhatyouhaveno

matterhow little itmightbewithhappinessand then

seekforincreaseorimprovement.Youcanneverplease

Godwhenyouarenotcontented.Thedoortoreceiving

blessings from God is to thank him forwhatever you

have. Ifyoudon'tappreciateGodforyourposition,he

CONTENTMENT

Chapter Nine

50

willnotdomoreforyou.Remember,anydayyouwake

up complaining about your present condition in life,

thereissomeonesecretlydesiringtobelikeyou.

Wheneveryouarediscouraged,rememberthatyou

arebetterthansomebodysomewhere.Whenyouarenot

contented,youmakewayforthedeviltouseyou.Youend

up joining one cult or the other, you borrow

unnecessarily,youstealfromothers,youengageinritual

killings in order to make money, all due to lack of

contentment.Manyyouthstodayhavebeenmisledinto

dubious activities in order to get quickwealth. Being

alive todayand living ahale andhearty life is a great

reasontoappreciateGod.

Therelivedamanwhowasnotcontentedwithhis

position.Everydayhewokeupwithcomplaintfornot

having one thing or the other.He thought hewas the

worstpersononearth.Hethendecidedtodrownhimself

intheriver.Whenhegottothebankoftheriverwherehe

wantedtodrownhimself,hesawacripplesittingatthe

bankoftheriverandpraisingGodforhislife.

Themanwhowantedtodrownhimselfwastouched

by the cripple's action. Moved by this act from the

cripple,hethenaskedtoknowwhyhewaspraisingGod

even though a cripple. The cripple looked at him and

said,“ForthefactthatIamalivetoday,isenoughreason

tothankGod.Manypeoplewhoweresupposedlybetter

51

Contentment

thanmearelongdead,butGodkeptmealive”.

Shockedbytheanswerthecripplegave,themanwho

wantedtodrownhimselfthenaskedagain.“Whatwould

youdoifyoudon'thaveshoesorclothstowear?”The

cripple answered him, “I will still be thankful to God

becauseIhavelife”.Onhearingthis,hefellonhisknees

andbegantothankGodforgivinghimtwolegstowalk

freelywith.

Yousee, lifeisalwayslikethat,youarebetterthan

somebodyoutthere.WhenyouappreciateGodforthe

littlehehasgivenyou,youmoveHimtodomore.The

devilcannevergiveyouafreegift;instead,hestealsfrom

God'sendowmentsuponyourlife.

Whenyoucompareyourselfwiththepeoplearound

you,youaretemptedtodosomethingsillyinorderto

make money and that is why in our society today

wickednesscontinuestothriveandwecontinuetoincur

thewrathofGoduponus.

Sometimesyouenvythepositionofawealthyman

andtellGodyouwishyouwereaswealthyastheman.

Butthatwealthymanyouenvydoesnotsleepatnight

andcannotwalkfreely.

I am contented with my family background; I amcontented with whatever I have achieved and lookforwardtogreaterachievements.Iamsatisfiedwithwho

52

THEREALITYOFLIFE

Iamandwouldnotenvyotherpeople'sposition.IwillonlypraytoGodtogivemewhatIhavebeingaspiringforsomeday.GodkeptmeinthepositionIamforapurposeandforhisnametobeglorified.Heknowswhatisbestforme.ItisjustamatteroftimemypresentconditionwouldbecomepastexperiencesandIwillhaveastorytotellothers.

Wewerenot createdwithequal fingers soareourdestinies.OurdestiniesareinGod'shandsnothuman's.We may resemble someone but in reality we are alldifferent.Then,whydoyouexpecteveryonetobeinthesameposition.Whenwelookatlifeinthisperspective,weshallfindlifemuchbetter.

Thatyouarenotopportunetorideacarorliveinaduplextodaydoesnotmeanyouwillnotrideacarorliveinaduplextomorrow.Themostimportantthingisyouarealive;livinghaleandhearty.Isthereanythingintheworld that is more important than being alive andhealthy? Why then do we bother ourselves aboutmundanethings?

OneofthereasonswhymanypeopleareinthesamepositiontheywereforalongtimeisbecausetheydonotappreciateGodforwhattheyhave.AlwaysprayforGod'swilltobedoneinyourlife.Everythingcomeswithtime.Goddesignedeverythinginaperfectway.

DonotlookatwhatothershaveandfeelthatGoddoesnotloveyou.Hedoes,andwantsthebestforallmankind.

53

Contentment

he Oxford Advanced Learners' DictionaryTdefined procrastination as; “To delay doing

somethingthatyoushoulddo”.

I view procrastination as; “The act of postponing

somethingthatneedstobedonetodaytoanotherdayor

time”.Most of the timeswe tend to put off duties for

anothertimethatweshouldbedoingandintheend,the

tasksremainundone.Whatshouldbedonetodaymust

bedone,however,mostofthetimes,thisisnotthecase.

One of the weapons the devil uses to frustrate our

progressinlifeiscalledprocrastination.Youcannever

PROCRASTINATION: TIME

IS NEVER YOUR FRIEND

Chapter Ten

54

achieveyourgoalwhenyoukeepprocrastinating.

Inlifeeverymomentcounts.Whateveryouwantto

do, do itwith despatch; get started, do notwait until

tomorrow.Timewaits fornoone.Toaccomplishyour

objectives you must work with time and manage it

properly.Youcannotachievegreatthingswhenyoukeep

postponing today's activities until tomorrow. Each

personhastwenty-fourhours(24)eachdayandwhen

youareabletoutiliseyourtimewell,youachievealot.

Butifyouaresaying,“Iwilldothistomorrow;youwill

nevergetanythingdone”.Takeeverychanceyouhaveto

carryoutactivitieswithmuchzealandseriousness.

What makes you thinkmany people achieve a lot

within365days?Itissimplybecausetheymanagetheir

timeproperly,andtheydoitwithoutprocrastination.It

isallaboutfocus.Whenyouarefocused,youdothingsin

anextraordinaryway.

Anymomentyouwastewithoutaccomplishingatask

orgoal,besurethatyouhavereducedtheeffortyouwere

meanttoputintogettingthattaskdone.Youdonotlet

things become too cumbersome before you get them

done.Whatistobedoneneedtobedoneataparticular

moment.Youdonotneedtowaitforaparticularmoment

beforeyoustarttoimprovetheworld.

Everyeffortyouputintogettingthingsdonebrings

55

Procrastination -time Is Never Your Friend

manychanges to theworld.Keeppostponingandyou

willnevergetanythingdone.Theability tobeable to

maximize your timemakes you successful.When you

pulsate to getting things done, you do it with

commitment sacrificing your leisure. Therefore, you

mustquitprocrastinating.Neverallowprocrastination

becomepartofyoubecausetheworlddesiresachange

fromyou.

Learn to do things immediately. Delay, they say, is

dangerous. Get started now andnot later; you do not

knowhowlongyouwillliveonearth.Remember,every

moment counts and every day that passes by counts.

What you achievewhen youmaximize your time can

neverbeachievedwhenyouprocrastinate.Whenduty

callsansweritimmediately.

56

THEREALITYOFLIFE

oyouknowthatthepeopleyouspendmostofDyourtimewithmatters?Thekindsofpeopleyou

minglewithdeterminehowyourfuturewould

looklike.

Weall liveindifferentenvironmentswithdifferent

calibre of people.Nowwhether you like it or not, the

people you keep company with will influence you

positivelyornegatively.Therearefriendswhocanhelp

youadvanceyourlifeespeciallythosewhosupportyou

ineveryendeavourtomakeyousuccessful.Butonthe

other hand, there are friends who will destroy your

THE COMPANY YOU KEEP MATTERS A LOT

Chapter Eleven

57

futurealso.

Themannerandwayyouthinkdeterminethekindof

companyyoukeep.Ifyoukeepbadcompany,theycan

lureyouintodoingevil.Thosewhoassociateunwisely

end up destroying their potential and they can never

achieve their goals. Whoever cannot influence you

positivelyorcreatepositiveimpactinyouwilleventually

destroyyourlife.

WhatamIsaying? Makefriendswhowillmakeyou

focused; friends who you can always count on for

positivegoals.Youdonotletfriendschooseyouinstead,

you choose your friends. Walk with friends who

encourageyou to grow.The little secrets tobecoming

successfularethefriendsyouassociatewith.

Your levelof intelligence isalsodeterminedbythe

kind of company you keep. Let your relationship be

symbioticnotparasitic.Learntobedifferent,letpeople

seeapositivedifferenceinyou.Beagoodstewardoflife

inyourtime.

Friendswhoalwayschallengeyoumakeyouknow

yourweakness, friendswho aremore intelligent than

you would always make you study more in order to

competehealthilywiththem.Youwouldneverwanttobe

leftbehind,becauseyouwouldalsoliketobringideasto

thetablewhennextyoumeet.

58

THEREALITYOFLIFE

Tome,Ipreferwalkingwithfriendswhoaremore

intelligentthanme.Thesearethosewhoalwaysimpact

mylifepositively,andbecausetheyaremoreintelligent

thanme,Iwouldalwaysliketostudy,learnnewideasso

thatIwillnotbeleftbehind.

Ontheotherhand,thishasbeenagreatchallengeto

me.Whenyoumakefriendwithadrunk,besurethatone

day you will follow him to the drinking joint. Your

continualfollowinghimtotheplacewillonedaymake

youtastethebearandwhenyoudo,itgraduallybecomes

ahabitbecauseyouwoulddevelopthedesireoftaking

moreandmoreoftheliquor.

Friends who spend most of their time drinking,

chattingandlaughingwouldnevermakeyoufocusedin

lifebecauseyouwouldbecomelousyaswell.Youwill

neverhavetimeforyourself;therebyanyeffortatsetting

anobjectivetoliveforbecomeselusive,becauseyoucan

neversetanobjectivewithoutbeingfocused.

The successful people you read about todaywere

focused.Theysetobjectivesandwithhardwork,they

attainedtheirgoals.Manypeoplehavebeenluredinto

becomingdrugaddictsbytheirfriendsandthecompany

theykeepand ithasbecomeahabit that theycanno

longerstop.

Manyofthebadpeopleyouseearoundwerebrought

59

The Company You Keep Matters A Lot

up in religiousandgodlyhomes.However,when they

startedkeepingbadfriends,theygraduallywentintothe

worldforgettingtheirbackgroundandhowtheywere

beingbroughtup.

Itisnotamusttokeepfriends.Itisbetternottohave

friendsifthatwillmakeyoufocusedthanhavingfriends

whocannotsupportyoupositivelyinadvancinginlife.

Retrace your steps from those that make you feel

inferior.Thosewhomakefunofeveryeffortyouputinto

becominggreat.

Goodfriendsarehardtocomeby,butwhentheydo

come,keepthemwithhighsenseofresponsibility.Make

thempartofyourexistencebecauseyouneedthemto

becomegreat.Greatthingsareachievedwhentwogood

headswithgoodsensesofreasoningcometogether.

Donot justmake friendsbecauseyouwant to feel

belonged,orbecauseyouwanttobeknown.Knowthe

friendsyoukeep.Retraceyoursteps fromthemwhen

you notice bad behaviour in them. What you do is

governedbyyourlevelofunderstanding.

AbrahamLincolnsays;“Thebetterpartofone'slive1

consistsofhisfriendships”. Peoplewillalwayscomeup

toyoutoseekfriendshipbutbewisetomaketheright

choices.Therefore, choose your friendswisely, be the

onetochooseyourfriendsanddon'tletfriendschoose

you.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Friendsaregoodwhentheyaddmeaningtoyourlife

butthisdependsonwhetheryoumaketherightchoices.

Butwhenyoumakethewrongchoices,bychoosingthe

waywardones,youbecomewaywardaswell.

Reference:

1.AbrahamLincoln,formerAmericanPresident'sspeech

61

The Company You Keep Matters A Lot

ride is the feeling of respect that you have forPyourself,andafeelingthatyouarebetterormore

important than other people are. Pride has

become so alarming that many people think without

them; thingscannotbedoneorevenexist.Theycarry

themselvesashe-men, especiallywhen theyarebeing

placedinhighpositionsofleadership.

Whenpeopleareplacedinhighposition,theywalk

with shoulders high, hands akimbo and then expect

praisefrompeoplewiththefeelingofimportance,and

thattheyhavethefinalsayoneveryissue.Forthefact

PRIDE

Chapter Twelve

62

thatyouhaveinfluence,ifpeopledon'tobeyyou,youcan

indeed make life unbearable for them, you compel

peopletoobeyyouinsteadofcommandobedience.

But hear this, you proud fellow. Do not boast yet

becauseyouarenotthatimportantthatyoucannotbe

replaced.WhenGodputsyouinapositionandhesees

thatthepositionismakingyoufeellikeasuperiorbeing,

he brings you down from there and replaces you.

Scripturessay;“Godopposestheproudbutgivesgraceto

thehumble”(James3:6).

Ifyouareinapositionofhonour,itisbythegraceand

mercyofGod.Godchosetoputyouinthatpositionsoyou

will help others. But due to pride, instead of helping

people,youremovetheladderyouusedinclimbingto

yoursuccessinordertopreventthosecomingafteryou

fromclimbing.Wedon'twantotherstobecomeasgreat

asweare.Itappearsmostpeoplewantotherpeopletobe

permanentlybeneaththemsotheywillcontinuetoboast

oftheirachievements.

You don't have it all and you can never have it all

becausenomanisself-sufficient.Weallneedeachother

tosurvive.Notwithstandingthefactthatwecannotexist

allbyourselves,becauseofpride,wetendtoseparate

ourselvesfromotherpeopleespeciallywhenyouhave

what they don't have. There is high level of

discriminationoftherichagainstthepoor.Therichtend

63

Pride

toseparatethemselvesfromthepoorasthoughtheycan

indeeddowithoutthem.ButItellyouwhetherrichor

poor,weallhaveonethingincommon:thebreathoflife.

Pridehaseatendeepintooursociety,andeventhe

Churchisnotleftout.Onlytherichareentitledtohold

one position or the other so that they can generate

revenue.Thesearesomeoftheproblemswefacetoday.

Theearlierweknowandacceptthetruth,thebetterthe

worldwillbe.

ThereispoliticseveninthebodyofChrist,evenmen

ofGodnowwalkwithhandsakimbo,shouldershigh,and

go about with bodyguards. The poor of the Church

cannot be allowed to see these sorts of men of God

becausetheyhavenomaterialthingstoofferthem.That

iswhatpridecandoinaman'slife.

What do you thinkwill happen if every individual

livingonplanetearthwalkswithhisorhershoulders

high,eachcompellingrespectfromtheother?Surely,the

worldwouldnotbeabletocontaineveryoneofus.The

truth is that thosewhoboastaboutwho theyareand

whattheyhave,donotreallyknowwhatlifeisallabout.

Itbaffles themindthatpeopleaskothers, “Doyou

know who I am?” Of course the silent but humbling

answeris,“Youarenothingbutmeremortalmadefrom

dust,andonewhoisonlylivingbythemerciesofGod.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

The earlierwe look at life in this perspective, the

better for us. Do not boast of what you have today,

nobodyknowstomorrow.Youmightnotremaininthat

samepositionyouareforever,andneverseeyourselfas

more importantandtherebymakingotherpeople feel

inferior.

Somefactsaboutprideare:

1. Pridemakespeopleappeartobeself-perfect.

2. Pridepreventspeoplefromtryingnewthings.

3. Pridebreedsoverconfidence.

4. Pridemakesyoufeeltoobigtolearnfromother

people.

5. Pridecausesdiscrimination.

6. Pridepreventscordialrelationshipbetweentwo

parties.

A popular adage says, “Pride goes before a fall”.

Overconfidenceisarecipefordownfall.Idon'twalkwith

those who are proud. Those who always boast about

whattheyhaveandtheirabilitytherebymakingmefeel

inferior.Whateveryouhavetodaywasgiventoyouby

God.Hecan,aswell,decidetotakeitawayfromyou.God

wouldalwaysexaltthehumbleandopposetheproud.

65

Pride

hathasbeingthegreatestchallengetomanyWpeopleisthetendencyinthemtoalwayssay

“Ican'tdothat”whenconfrontedwithanew

task.Sometimeswetendtounderestimateourabilityin

trying new things. We don't believe we can do great

things.ItbafflesmewhenIhearpeoplesay,IwishIcanbe

likeMrA.WhatmakesyouthinkyoucannotbelikeMrA

orevenbetteranyway?Weallhaveunlimitedpotentials.

Neverlookdownonyourself.Alwayshaveamindsetthat

youcandoevenmorethanMrA.

Theonly limitationswehavearetheoneswehave

DO NOT LIMIT YOURSELF

Chapter Thirteen

66

imposedonourselves.Myprincipleisnevertoallowany

bodytolookdownonme;neitherwouldIlookdownon

myself.Trytodowhatotherssaycannotbedone.Donot

allow your potential die. Use it to make impact in

someone else's life. How do you feel when you see

someonedoingwhatyousaidcouldnotbedone?Those

seemingimpossibilitiesaremerechallenges,therefore,

challengeyourselfintotakingthemonheadlong.Idonot

put limit to my belief in accomplishing great tasks.

Attainingyourgoalwithvigouralsogoeswithbelieving

inyourself.Believeinyourselfevenwhenothersdon't

believeinyou,forwhatyoubelieveinwouldsurelywork

foryou.

Never underrate yourself and your potentials,

believeinyourselfandlearntomotivateyourself.Idon't

giveadimeevenwhennobodymotivatesme,Imotivate

myself.SolongasIknow,Ihavegreatpotentialsinme

andIwillnotblowachallengeoutofproportionwhenI

havenoteventried.Thegreatphilosophersandscholars

youreadabout todayneverunderrated themselves. If

theydid,youwon'tbereadingaboutthemtoday.

Yourbackgrounddoesnotmatter; have amindsetthatyoucandoallthingsthroughChristthatstrengthensyou. Itdoesnotmatterwhoyouare,whereyoucomefrom,neverseeyourselftoosmalltobeabletodogreatthings.Juststirupthatpotentialinyou.Youcandogreatthings when you have the mind to. Take every little

67

Do Not Limit Yourself

chanceyouhaveandadvanceinlife.

Notethatthefirstsecrettosuccess istobelieve inyourself. You can succeed even when people don'tbelieve in you, but I tell you the truth, you can neversucceedwhenyoudon'tbelieveinyourself.Trytobringoutthebestinyouandneverallowanybodytomakeyoufeelinferior,andneveryoubetheonetolimityourself.

Sometimeswhat prevents people from attemptinggreatthingsistheyseethemselvesastoosmall.Youcanneverdoanythingbeyondyourthinking.Whenyouthinksmall,youdothingslikeajuvenilebutwhenyouthinkbigyoudogreatthings.Whatyouthinkaboutyourselfandyour capability matters a lot because it adds ordiminishesstrengthtoeveryeffortyouputinattemptingatask.

Mostofthegreatpeopleyoureadaboutwerefromlow familybackground,but they lookedat lifebeyondtheirpresentcondition.Theylookedattheirpotentialsnottheirbackground,andtodaytheyaregreatpeopleinthesociety.

The first tool forsuccess isbelieve.Believe first inGod,andthen inwhatyoucandobythegraceofGoduponyou.Neverlistentoyourfears.Trytobringoutthebestinyou.Stirupyourhiddenpotentials,theywerenotmeant to be dormant in you. You don't need to bemotivatedbyanybodytoputyourtalentstouse.Whatmattersmostisyourselfmotivation.

68

THEREALITYOFLIFE

69

THERE IS NO SHORTCUT

TO BECOMING SUCCESSFUL

IN LIFE

Chapter Fourteen

oddesignedeverythingwithtime, forareasonGandapurpose.Heplannedeverybody'sdestiny

withtimeplacedonitforreasonsbestknownto

Him.

Wheneveryouseeothersbecomesuccessfulandyou

arenot,relax,itisnotyourtimeyet.Donotbeinahaste

tobesuccessful.Apatientdog,theysay,eatsthefattest

boneornolongereatsbonesbutratherflesh.Itindeed

takesalottobepatient.

Tobecomesuccessfulislikepassingthroughprimary

school before reaching high school. You cannot skip

primaryschoolandendupinjuniorhighschool;thatis

whyschoolhasdifferentstages.Youmustpassthrough

onestagebeforeyougettotheotherstage.Successislike

thattoo;itgoesinstages;fromonestagetotheotherata

time.IfthetimedesignedbyGodforyoutobesuccessful

hasnotcome,youcannotfast-forwardtheclock.

ManyyouthsendupmissingtheplansGodhasfor

thembecausetheywerenotpatientenoughtowaitfor

God'stime.Therefore,theywentwildlookingforwealth

atallcost.Bysodoing,theyendedupjoiningcultgroups,

secret societies, consulting different witchdoctor to

fortify them and make them become successful. Of

courseyouknowthedevilcannevergiveyouafreegift.

Whatever he gives youwith the right hand, hewould

surelycollectbackwiththeleftleavingyouwithguiltand

regret.

Whyisitthatkidnapping,prostitutionandrobbery

aresorampant? It isbecausenobodywants tobe left

behindintheratraceforamassingwealth.Everybody

wantstofeelbelonged.Goodthingsdon'tcomeeasy;it

always takes time. The best things in life are always

reservedforthepatientandwise.

Oneofthetacticsthedevilusesindeceivingpeopleis

makingthemfeelthereisshortcuttobecominggreat.He

woulddeceiveyouthatthereisaneasywayofmaking

moneyandwhenheeventuallytricksyouintobelieving

70

THEREALITYOFLIFE

this;yourlifewouldbeeventuallyruined.

Bethatpatientdog;desiretoeatthefattestboneby

waitingforGod'stime.Sometimeswhenwestruggleand

donotsucceed,wenolongerseekGod'sfaceinprayers

becausewefeelGodistooslowinansweringprayersor

doesnotanswerprayers.Godisalwaysfaithfulandhe

answersprayersmorethanwecanever imagine. Ifhe

doesnotgiveyouwhatyouaskfor,itisbecauseitisnot

yettime.

God knowswhat is best for you and he can never

prevent you from having the best. What he needs is

patience.Donotletyourpresentconditionlureyouinto

doingevil.Donotrush.Besureofmissingastepwhen

you rush. Instead, always have themindset that good

thingsdon't comeeasyaswe think, it takes time.The

earlieryouknowthis,thebetterforyou.

Whatsoever you desired and hope for in life, be

patient andeverythingwould surely come topass.An

adagesays,“Destinycanonlybedelayedbutcanneverbe

denied”.PraythatGod'swillbedoneinyourlife.

God'swillistheultimate;hehaseverykeytosuccess.

WhenyouunderstandthewillofGodforyourlife,you

won'tlookforshortcutstobecomesuccessful.

71

There Is No Shortcut To Becoming Successful In Life

72

KNOWING YOUR WEAKNESS

Chapter Fifteen

very individual you see has bundles ofEimperfections and weaknesses whether

physically,spirituallyorintellectually.Butwhen

wefocusonourweaknessesandimperfections,wefeel

Godcannot,andwouldnotuseus.However,wefindthat

Godisalwaysinterestedinusingtheweak.Itappearsas

ifGodalwayspickstheweakoutofthecrowdandassigns

themhighresponsibilitiestocarryoutforhimtoshame

thestrong.

ThethoughtsandwaysofGodarenotthesamewith

thoseofman.Hedoesthingsinaccordancewithhiswill.

Hemaychoosetousesomeoneyoufeelandthinkisnot

importantorhaslessvalueinthesociety.Itisimportant

weknowthissowecanhumbleourselvesbeforehim.

The truth about our weaknesses is that they

stimulateandbringoutthehumanityinman.Themost

importantthingistoknowyourweaknesses.Whenyou

know your weaknesses, you work on them with the

intentiontosubduingthem.Butitisclearthatwecannot

do everything therefore, we should avoid areas of

noticeableimperfection.

Wewereallcreatedwithoneweaknessortheother,

sowecan learn fromeachother.Wedon'tneed tobe

ashamed of our weaknesses. Even with weaknesses,

learn to bring out the best in you. Keep yourself

adaptable, so thatyoucan learn frompeoplewhoare

betterindoingwhatyouarenotgoodatdoing.

Yourweaknessesaremeanttomakeyoubetter.Your

limitations should take away the feeling of pride and

arroganceinyoubecauseyouknowtherearemillionsof

peoplewhohavecapabilitiesyoudonothave.Always

have it at the back of your mind that no one is self-

sufficient.Weallneedeachothertosurvive;weallneed

someonetoleanon.

Oneofthemistakeswemakeashumansisthatwe

tendtobediscouragedwhenweseeothersdoingwhat

wefinddifficultdoing.Insteadofgoingtothemforidea,

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

wesitback togossip,envyandcriticise.Howcanyou

workonyourweaknesseswhenyoukeepenvyingand

criticizingthosewhomyouaresupposedtolearnfrom?

In my high school days, I found it difficult to

understandandsolvemathematicscorrectly;itwasmy

greatestchallenge.AndthenIfoundoutthatoneofmy

classmates was very good in maths, whenever I am

taughtmathematicsandIdon'tunderstand,Iwouldgoto

himforhelp.HewouldexplaintheareasIfounddifficult

inunderstandinguntilIamabletosolveoneformulaor

theother.

Butyouknowwhat;hewasalsonotgoodinEnglish

Language. The area he did not understand, he would

come to me and I would teach him and make him

understand. Wheneverwedon'thaveateacherinthe

class,hewouldteachmemathematics,andIwouldteach

himEnglishLanguage,thatisthewaylifeis.Weallneed

tolearnfromeachother.Wedon'thavealltheabilitiesto

surviveinthisworldallbyourselves.Weneedeachother

tohelpuswithourweaknesses.

Thewayyouworkonyourpotentialsisthesameway

youshouldonyourweaknesses.Donotconcentrateon

your potentials alone thereby living yourweaknesses

unattendedto.

Learntoshareyourweaknesseswiththosewhoyou

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

areconvincedwouldpositivelyimpactyourlife.Another

areaisapplyingcontentmentinyourlifeinthisregard

also.The idea is simple,whenyouarecontentedwith

yourself,youdon'tenvyotherpeople'scapabilitiesand

potentials,insteadyouhumbleyourselfandlearnfrom

other people, and by that taking every chance to

improvingyourlife.

Thereisapopularadagewhichstatesthatwinners

neverquitandquittersneverwin.Whenyouhideyour

weaknesses,youaredoingyourselfnogoodbutharm

becauseyouwouldnever learn.The followingare the

thingsyoumustdotoworkonyourweaknesses:

1. Prayers:AlwaysseekforGod'sdirection.Donot

dependonman.Manwouldfailyou.Manwillalways

makeyoufeeldiscouragedbutGodwillalwaysgive

you strength. Just seek for wisdom and

understanding.Neverallowanyonetomakeyoufeel

inferior.Though,thosewhoaremoreadvancedthan

youwouldalwaysmakeyoufeelinferior,haveitat

thebackofyourmindthatnooneisperfect.Andthat

youneedtoworktowardsperfectionthroughself-

motivation.

2. Keepyourselfadaptabletolearning.

3. Always share your lack of capabilities with

someonewhomyouknowcanbeofhelptoyou.

75

Knowing Your Weakness

ThefirsttimetheGreekoratorDemosthenestriedto

makeapublicspeech,hewaslaughedofftherostrum.

But he had a dream of being a notable speaker. He

pursuedthatdreamandgrewtowardhispotential.Itis

saidthatheusedtoputpebblesinhismouthandpractice

speakingoverthesoundofthecrashingsurfatseashore.

Hispersistencepaidoff. Helivedhisdream.Hebecame

thegreatestoratoroftheancientworld.

Youcanbecomebettertomorrowthanyouaretoday.

HelenKeller losther sight andhearingwhen shewas

nineteenmonthsold.Herblindnessanddeafnesswere

herweaknesses.Butsheneverallowedittobecomeher

obstacles in life. She overcame her severe disabilities,

wentontograduatefromRadcliffeCollegeandbecame

anauthor,notablelecturer,andchampionforpeoplewho

areblind.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt in 1921, at the age of

thirty-nine, had a severe case of polio,which left him

disabled and in terrible pain. He never walked again

withoutassistance.Buthedidn'tletthatstophimfrom

pursuinghis dreams.Eight years later, hebecame the

governor of New York, and in 1932, he was elected

presidentoftheUnitedStates.

Every successful person you see today has one

weakness or the other but they never allowed their

weaknessestoweighthemdown.Theylookedbeyond

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

theirpresentpredicaments.

Within you lies an assignment that demands

fulfilment.TheGreekoratornevergaveupeventhough

he was laughed off the rostrum. After knowing his

weakness,heworkedtowardsperfection.Itcouldbethat

people laughed at you when you were trying to

participate in a function because you could not do it

perfectly.Youdon'thavetogiveup.

Thosewhoyouthinkaregenuinelyinterestedinyou,

shareyourweaknesseswiththemsothattheywouldbe

ofhelptoyou.NevertrytolimitGod'spowerinyourlife

bytryingtohideyourweaknesses.Whenyouopenup,

youreducefrustrationinyourlife.Youbecomefreewhen

you openup, especially to thosewho care about your

existence not those who would want to know your

weaknessesandusetheminhurtingyou.Learntodefuse

yourfearsbyworkingonyourinabilitiesorweaknesses.

Therefore,don'tbesadbecauseyouareunabletodo

whatyouseeothersdoing.Youalsohavesomethingin

you that they don't have. If it is possible, you can do

yourselfmorealotofgoodbymakingalistofwhatyou

candobestandwhatyouarenotcapableofdoing.

Don'tforceyourselftodowhatyouarenotcapableof

doing.Youmustnothaveallthepotentialsinthisworld

77


becauseyouwerenotcreatedtoliveinthisworldalone.

Ifpossible,bethankfultoGodforthemandbecontented

withyourimperfections.

Youareunique,Godlovesyouthewayyouare.Justbe

adaptabletolearnnewthingsandbeonthemove.Iknow

my areas of perfection, and I also know my areas of

weakness.Idon'tforcemyselftodowhatIknowIcannot

do.ButItrytolearnfromothersformyownbenefit.

Godhasadministeredeverypotentialandabilityin

everyindividualtobeabletofunctioninareashewould

wantthemtoperform.Ifyouarenotabletospecializein

someareas,workonyourownareasofperfection.Every

individual exhibits characteristics in the aspect of

potentials and weaknesses; it is natural. Thomas

Armstronginhisbook“7KindsofSmart,”describesseven

different kinds of intelligence that every individual

possessesfromonedegreetoanother:

1. LinguisticIntelligence(theabilitytousewords):

people who are smart in this area can argue,

persuade,entertainorinstructeffectivelyusingthe

spokenword. They often love puns,word games

and trivia, read voraciously and write clearly.

Examples:WilliamsShakespeare,JamesJoyce,and

AbrahamLincoln.

2. Logical-MathematicalIntelligence(workingwith

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

numbersandlogic):peoplewithtalentinthisarea

havetheabilitytoreason,createhypothesis,think

intermsofcauseandeffectandfindconceptualor

numerical patterns in the things around them.

Examples: Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Bill

Gates.

3. Spatial Intelligence (thinking in pictures and

images):peoplewith spatial ability canperceive,

transform and recreate different aspects of the

visual spatial world. They are sensitive to visual

details,canvisualizevividly,orient themselves in

threedimensionalspace,andoftendraworsketch

ideas. Examples: Pablo Picasso, Thomas Edison,

andFrankLloydWright.

4. MusicalIntelligence(perceiving,appreciatingand

producingrhythmsandmelodies):peoplewiththis

intelligencehaveagoodear,cankeeptime,singin

tune, and listen to music with discernment.

Examples: Johann Sebastian Bach, George

Gershwin,andBeverlySills.

5. Bodily-KineticIntelligence(knowingthephysical

self): people with gifts in this area are good at

controlling their body movements, handling

objects skilfully, and performing other physical

activities. Examples: Michael Jordan, Charlie

Chaplin,andFredAstaire.

79


6. Interpersonal Intelligence (understanding and

working with people): those who have this

intelligenceareabletoperceiveandberesponsive

to the moods, temperaments, intensions, and

desires of others. Examples: Ronald Reagan,

MotherTeresaandZigZiglar.

7. Intra Personal Intelligence (knowing the inner

self): people gifted in this area are introspective,

goodatassessingtheirownfeelings,andcapableof

deepspiritualor intellectual thoughts.Examples:1JohnWesly,LaurenceOlivier,andJoyceBrothers.

Ourblendofperfectionandimperfection;weakness

andstrengthsdifferinsomanyareas.Youdon'tneedto

panicbecauseyouseeothersdowhatyoualwaysormost

ofthetimesfindextremelydifficultdoing.Youneedto

focusoneachareaofyourpersonalityorabilitybecause

thatmakesyouunique.

Inexaminingmyself,IamabletorealisethatIhave

themelancholyattitude;becauseinallIdo,Itrytodesire

perfection; I am task-oriented, goal-oriented,

emotionally-organised, pessimistic and introverted.

Thatmakesmedifferentfromothersbecausesomehave

the sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric personality. Just be

contentwithwhoyouareandtrytoblendwithothersso

youcanlearnfromthem.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

ThethingsIamnotabletodo,Idon'tforcemyselfto

dothembecauseifGodwantedmetospecializeinthat

area, hewould havemade thatweakness becomemy

potential. Since I knowmyownGod-givenpotential, I

knowthethingsIcandoandIfindjoyindoingthemorI

trytodothemperfectly.Idon'tjustsitandcomparemy

weaknesses with other people's potentials. Their

weaknessesmightbemypotential.

Don't forceyourself todowhatyouknowyou find

difficultdoing.Themostimportantthingistobeableto

recognise the areas of yourweaknesses andwork on

overcomingthem,ifnot,concentrateonexploringyour

potentials.

Donotsitonthefence.Thegreatestfoolistheperson

whohasnotdiscoveredhispotentialorability,andstill

notreadytoworkonhisweaknesses.Allhislifehewould

onlydependonotherpeople.Hewouldonlywatchand

admirewhatothersdo.Buthewouldnotsteeruphisgift

orpotentialforotherstolearnfromhim.

Reference:

1. 7 Kinds Of Smart: identifying and developing your many

intelligence, Thomas Armstrong, (New York: plume,

1993),p9-11.

81


82

ChapterSixteen

UNITY

heOxfordAdvancedLearnersDictionarydefinesTunity as; “The stateof being in agreement and

working together; the state of being joined1

togethertoformoneunit”.

Iviewunityasoneness.Beingunited is tobe like-

mindedwitheachother.Theword“unity”hasjustfive

letters, butwhat it brings to the society ismore than

anyonecaneverimagine.

Ontheotherhand,whatbringsaboutdisunityinthe

familyislackoflove.Anyfamilyorsocietythatisnotbuilt

onlovecanneverbeunited;andanyfamilyorsociety

thatisnotunitedcaneasilybedestroyed.

We shouldnote thatwhere a groupofpeople stay

together,onepersonmustsurelyanddefinitelywrong

the other. But what keeps life going is being

understandingandhaving loveone foranother.When

youunderstandeachother,youtendtobringunity.

Whereyoufinddiscrimination,itisindicativeoflack

of love. But when love leads understanding and

tolerance follow, so evenwhen onewrongs the other,

what you see is forgiveness. No person is perfect

therefore; we must wrong someone, one way or the

other.

Oneof thegreatest tools thedeviluses inbringing

disunity in the society or family ismisunderstanding.

When you don't understand each other, you would

alwaysbeatloggerheads.

Ontheotherhand,whatbringsunityistheabilityto

understand the people you relate to. When you

understand one another, you try to be of help to one

anotherknowinghisorherweaknesses.Whenyouknow

whatIamcapableofdoing,youtendtobetolerantofme

inotherareas.IfIoffendyou,whatyouneeddoistomeet

meandexplainmywrongsandIwouldinturnaskfor

forgiveness.

Whenyouunderstandeachother,youwillsurelyget

83

Unity

along.Youwouldbesurenottocreatespaceforthedevil

todestroyyourpeace.Wherethereislove,therewould

be peace. Where there is peace, there will be no

heartbreaks.

Learntoknowthepeopleyouminglewithbecause

whenyoudo,youwouldbeabletoknowtheirinabilities.

When two parties understand their inabilities, they

would be contented and patient with each other. But

wheremisunderstandingaboundsyouwould findthat

peoplearealwaysat loggerheadswitheachother.The

following are some of the things that cause

misunderstanding:

1.Pride

Nobodywantstoadmithisorherwrong.Everybody

wantstobeseenasright;alwaysonthedefensive.Allwe

do is to sit back and point out themistakes of others

ignoring our own. Most people would excuse their

shortcomingsbutalwaysseethefaultsinothers.

Mostofthetime,whenwearetoldourwrongs,we

wouldturntohingeourbehavioursonculturalbelieves

andpractices.Theseareoftenthecausesofconflictsand

disunityinsociety.However,nevertrytopleaseeveryone

by doing what you know is wrong because you want

peaceorunitytoexist.Butalwayslearntodowhatyou

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

knowisgoodandrightandbeopen-mindedinaccepting

corrections.

Alwayslearntoacceptyourwrongsingoodfaith.You

arenotperfectsodon'tseeyourselftooperfectthatyou

fail to realize the areas you always gowrong thereby

making thepersonorpeoplearoundyou feel inferior.

Nobodywouldwanttobearoundsomeonethatalways

makeshimfeelguiltyorinferior.

Ihaveaprinciple,thatwheneverIcomearoundyou

andrealisethatyoualwaysmakemefeelinferior,Iwould

stay clear of you. It is true; don't see yourself as too

perfectandthatanyonethatcomearoundasnotupto

you.Thisaresomeofthereasonswhymostofthetimes,

wedon'tgetalongwithothers.Youwouldgoalongwell

whenyoustopfocusingonpeople'sfault.

2.Trust

Wherethereisnotrusttherewouldbenounity.We

needtotrusteachother.Whenwetrust,wearesureof

bringingpeopleclosertous.Itrytomakepeopletrustme

bydoingthingsashonestlyasIcan.Youcanneverbring

meclosetoyouwhenyoudon'ttrustme.Wherepeople

suspecteachother,theretendtobemisunderstanding.

Youwouldneverunderstandyourspousewhenyou

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Unity

don't trust him or her. When everyone becomes a

suspect, there could not be oneness. For unity to be

foundtheremustbetrust.Itisnothealthyforanyoneto

live without someone who trusts him or her. For

example,whenthewifesuspectsherhusband,thefamily

wouldneverbeatpeace:samewiththehusband.

If you claim to love someone, youmust trust that

person.Whatmakescertainindividualsnottotrusttheir

friends is that they don't trust themselves either. But

whenyoutalkofpeaceandunity,theremustbetrust.

3.LackOfForgiveness

Therewillbeconflictanddisunityinthesocietyor

familywhen there is lack of forgiveness. For unity to

aboundtheremustbe forgiveness.Weneedto forgive

eachother'swrongandalwaystrytoletgo.Whenyoulet

go,yougoalongwaytobringingpeopleclosetoyou.

Eachdaythatpassesby,wearelikelytobehurtby

someone, but when we forgive, we tend to quench

quarrels and prevent malice. When you prevent

misunderstanding, there would be no malice. I get

annoyed easily but I am also quick to forgive. I don't

harbour grudges against anybody, though easily

angered.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Iheardseveralpeoplesay I forgivehimbutwould

neverforgetwhathedid.TheBibleneverasksanybody

toholdthewrongspeopledothemintheirhearts.When

youforgive,youshouldalsoforget.Butnowadays,itis

verydifficult forpeopletoforgiveandforget.Don'tbe

deceived,youcanneverclaimtoforgivewhenyoudonot

letgo.

All hellwould break loose if everybody is keeping

malice and nobody is ready to forgive,. There would

neverbepeaceorunity.Forgivenessisoneofthegreatest

keystolivingtogetherinoneaccord.

Learn to restore broken relationships so that you

would live in unity. Never hold on to what you are

supposedandmeantto letgoof.Tolive inpeacewith

eachother,youmust:

1. Loveoneother.

2. Youmustlearntotolerate.

3. Always appreciate each other's effort (being

contented).

4. Youmustlearntoseeothersasbetterthanyou.

Don't make people feel discouraged by making

themfeeltheyarenotimportant.

5. Whenyounoticesomeonewhois troublesome,

stayawayfromhimorher.

87

Unity

Whenpeopleareuniteditisverydifficulttodestroy

them. Love brings peace and peace brings unity and

oneness.

Reference:

1.TheOxfordAdvancedLearnersDictionary

88

THEREALITYOFLIFE

89

Chapter Seventeen

THE ENEMY CALLED FEAR

neofthegreatestoppositionstoadvancinginlifeOis fear. The devil uses fear to oppress men

therebygivingthemflimsyreasonsnottotake

boldsteps toadvancing theirgoals.Shakespearesays,

“Cowardsdiemanytimesbeforetheirtime”.

Solongasyoucontinuetobeacoward,youwilldie

manytimesbeforeyourtime.Onethingwithlifeisthat

manypeoplecontinuetoliveinbondagebecausethey

arescaredofgoingfortheuncertaintasks.Becauseof

this,theycontinuetoliveinfear,therebygivingroomfor

thedeviltosuppressthem.

Sometimesweareonthewrongtrackbecausewefail

toscrutinizeourpresentconditiontobesurewhatwe

aredoingisright.Wetendtoconsoleourselvesbysaying,

“letthewillofGodbedone”.ButGodwantsyoutodo

more; he wants you to confront your fears headlong.

When you have victory over fear, you tend to achieve

more.

Ifyouaredeterminedtoachieve,thenyoudon'tneed

toquitstrivingforsuccessbecausequitterswouldnever

win. Resolve in taking your stand no matter the

circumstances. Always take bold steps in every

endeavour of life for God did not give us the spirit of

timidityandfearbutofasoundmind.Takeanexample

from people God used in the Bible; Joshua, Abraham,

David,Ruth,theyallovercamethespiritoffearandwere

mightilyusedbyGod.

Manyatimeswetendtoprocrastinateoverwhatwe

should be doing because of fear.We need towork on

ourselvesbeforeGodcangiveushelpinghandsandliftus

upfromourpresentconditionsandpredicaments.

Success isnotadestination; it is a journeyandanadventure. It isbetter imaginedseeinga traveller toadistant land who did not carry the necessary thingsrequired in sustaining lifeon the journey.Doubtlessly,such a fellowwill starve todeath.Weoften see cattleherders carrywater in other to quench thirst as they

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

embark on open grazing of their cattle, so it is in thejourneytosuccess.

Inyourjourneytobecomingsuccessful,courageisanecessary companion. You need to grow up and takeyourdestinyinyourhands.Thewaytosuccess lies inyourhands.Stopbeingcomplacentbyplayingthebaby,buildconfidenceinyourself.Putawaymediocrity, it isoneofthegreatestobstaclestoadvancinginlife.

Godwillneveruseyouifyouremainstagnantandrefuse to take bold steps. In order to prevail overstagnancy, you must learn to take a step forward. IfMoseshadbeenovercomewithfear,hewouldn'thavesaved the children of Israel from Pharaoh's torment.Belowaretwofactorsthatgiveusfear:

1.Unbeliefasthefueloffear:

Unbeliefisthereasonwhymanypeopleresolvetodieintheirpredicaments.Manybelieverswhenconfrontedbychallengestendtoforgetthescripturethatsays,“Hesenthiswordandhealedthem,anddeliveredthemfromtheirdestructions”(Psalm107:20).

2.Thefearoffailure:

Youcanneverbesuccessfulwhenyouaresoscaredoffailure.The successfulpeople you see andhear about

91

The Enemy Called Fear

werepeoplewhoacceptedfailurewithgoodfaith.Theywere fully aware that success will come after failure.When you accept failure, you are bound to prevail nomatter the circumstances you find yourself. Nobodywantstofail,infacteverybodyseefailureasanenemytoprogress.Butiffailurecomes,youlearntoacceptitwithgoodfaithandforgeon.

Alotoflessonsarelearnedfromfailure.Whenyoutryandfail,youlearnfromitandthatpreparesyourmindforbecomingbetterpreparedforsuccess.Onceyoubecomesuccessfulyoubecomeextracarefulnot togothewaythatwillleadtofailure.

Learntotakerisks,ifyoudon'ttakerisks,youwouldneverattainyourgoal.Now imaginePeterwalkingonwaterwithJesus,atfirsthewasconfidentanddidnotdrownedbuteventuallyhealmostgotdrownedbecauseoffearandunbelief.HelostfocusandJesushadtosavehimfromdrowning(Matthew14:24-33).

Manyatimesweblowsituationsoutofproportionwhenwehavenotevenattempted.Andbecauseofthiswewouldneverattemptanything.JohnC.Maxwellsays;“The only person who avoid failure altogether is thepersonwhoneverleavesherdriveway.Sotherealissueisnotwhetheryou'regoingtofail,it'swhetheryou'regoingtofailsuccessfully(profitingfromyourfailure)orallow

1failuretosendyouonapermanentdetour”.

You need to appreciate the value of failure. Don't

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

indulgeinthinkingofwhatmighthavebeingandhow

thingshaven'tworkedout.Keeppressingon,neverallow

failuretobogyoudowninstead“Trainyourselftothink2

offailureasmileagemarkers”.

You know what it means when writing an

examinationandnotpassingaparticularsubjectwhich

is compulsory or you keep applying for admission to

study a particular course and they keep turning you

down and refusing you admission. Wisdom demands

that youdon't take it personally, rather,make turning

failureintosuccesstobeyourmaingoal.Thisbookwill

notbecompletewithoutsharingthestory Ihaveever

readaboutDaleCarnegiebecauseof its inspiration. It

comes from the book Dale Carnegie: The Man Who

InfluencedMillionsbyGilesKempandEdwardClaflin.

'“Carnegiesearlylifewasplaguedbyfailure.Hegrew

upinpoverty.Whenhedeterminedtoattendteachers

collegeinWarrensburg,Missouri,hewasabletodoso

onlybylivingathomeandridingtoschooleachdayon

horseback.Interestedinpublicspeakingfromhisteen

year, Carnegie decided that he wanted to earn

recognitionat thecollegebyenteringspeechcontests.

Heneverwonasingleone,butlearnedeachtimehetried

andfailed.

Despitehishardworkatcollege,hefailedtograduate

whenhecouldn'tpassLatin.SohemovedfromMaryville,

93


Missouri, toNewYorkCity,wherehe tried acting and

sales,buthecontinuedtocomeupshort.Thenhegot

whatturnedouttobeagoldenopportunity.Heapplied

forajobattheYMCAteachingclassesonpublicspeaking.

Becausehelackedexperience,theYMCAdidn'tofferhim

theusualsalaryoftwodollarspersession.Instead,he

was accepted on a trial basis. If he was effective and

retainedstudents,hewouldearnmoney.Ifnot,hewas

outofajob.

Though he had failed to win a speech contest or

becomesuccessfulasanactor,hesucceededattheYMCA.

Thoseearlydetourshadtaughthimalot.Soonhewas

developinghisowncoursesandwritingpamphletsthat

hewould later publish as books. AsKemp andClaflin

wrote,“Carnegierosetofameasoneofthemosteffective

trainersofspeakersandoneofthebestsellingauthorsof

all time two keys enabled him to turn failure in to

success:Hisunwillingnesstobestoppedbyfailure,and3hiswillingnesstolearnfromfailure.

Whenyoutryandfaildonotgiveup,keeptryingand

bepersistent.

GaryInrig, inhisbook“Heartsof IronFeetofClay”

writes; “Oneof thegreatest truthsof Scripture is that

whenGodlooksatus,hedoesnotseeusforwhatweare,

but forwhatwecanbecome,asheworks inour lives.

Otherpeoplelookatusandseeourflawsandfailings.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

God looks at us and see our possibilities through his4transformingpresence”.

Due toourunwillingness toattempt,weremain in

ourpresentconditionstillthedayweleavethisplanet

earth. That was why the Bible mentioned that faith

withoutworksisdead.Youdon'tjustsitandwaitforGod

tocometoyourrescuewithoutmakinganattempt.

Godwouldnotcomedownfromheavenandsaveyou

fromyourpresentpredicament,heexpectsyoutoworkit

outyourself,withjustalittleattemptandhewillcrown

youreffortwithsuccess.

Learn to take risks. Never let fear of unfamiliar

groundsweighyoudown,don'tbescaredoflosingout,

youarenotthefirsttofailandyouwillstillnotbethelast.

If you don't make an attempt, you will never receive

divineintervention.Therefore,donotallowfeelingsof

uncertaintytocrippleyou.

Donotbescaredofcriticism.Becertainthatinyourpursuit for greatness youwill receivemany criticismsfrompeoplearoundyouespeciallyfrommediocreminds.Criticsalwayshavethesestatements:“Itcan'tbedone,itshouldn'tbedone,anditwon'tbedone”.Bereadytofacethem;youshouldbedeterminedtopressonatwhatevercost,anddon'tbeintimidatedbywhatyouhear.

Myambitionshavebeenquestionedbymanywhotell

meIamtooyoungtobecomeawriter.Theytellmethings

95


likewherewouldyougetmoneytopublish?Ichoosenot

torespondorfeelintimidatedbecauseitwouldn'tdoany

good. Be careful who you listen to. Don't let people's

wordsknockyoudown.Nomatterwhomyouareandthe

thingsyoudo,noteverybodywillsupportyou.

RoyLaurinwrites,“Neverstopworkingtofight.Be

readytofightandrepeltheinvaderbutalwayskeepup

the work. Aman's greatest defence is the work he is

doing.Ifheconstantlyrespondstotheattackmadeon

him,hecannotworkandifhedoesnotwork,hewillnot5

beabletofulfilthepurposeofhislife”.

Bebrave.Donotmindyourpresentpredicamentit

wouldonlyluredyouintodestruction.Don'tjustwalkon

the emotions or feelings, don't let pressure or

environmentaleffectaffectandpreventyoufrommaking

attempts. We must accept infinite disappointment,

failureandfinitehope.Thosewhocultivatefearwould

never achievemuch only the optimist can.One of the

dangers that fear produces is, itmakes you stand for

nothing.

Donotgivethedevilroomtooppressyoubymakingyouafraidorscaredoftryingnewthings.Beenthusiasticenough to attain your goal not minding violentoppositions that come from mediocre minds. Skilfulpilotsgaintheirreputationfromstormsandtempests.

Donot let the thought of failureprevent you fromtakingthatveryimportantstepforward.Therefore,itis

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

notjustanattemptthatisrequired,butthecouragetocontinue in thestruggle thatmattersmost. It isworstnever to have tried to succeed due to fears of failure,blowingasituationoutofproportion.

Withbravenessandcourage,haveakeenpulsatingdesiretodoexploitsandachievethatsetgoal.Lifeisfullofriskonlythebraveandcourageoustakeeverychancetomakeadvancement.

Arise,therefore, fromwhereyouarenowandtakedrasticmeasureatattainingyourgoal.LouisE.Booneobserves,“Don'tfearfailuresomuchthatyourefusetotry new things. The saddest summary of life containsthreedescriptions:Couldhave,mighthave,andshouldhave.

Itisbettertotryandfailthannottotryatall.Keeptryingnomatterhowdifficultitis,evenwhenyoufail,donotgiveup.

Reference:

1.RoadmapForSuccessbyJohnC.MaxwellpreviouslypublishedasTheSuccessJourney.(1997),byMaxwellmotivation,Inc.aCaliforniacorporation)p127,128.

2.RoadmaptoSuccess,(1997),JohnC.Maxwellp129.

3. Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin, Dale Carnegie; TheManwhoInfluencedMillions,NewYork:St.martin'spress,(1989)..

4.GaryInrig,Heartsof IronFeetofClay,GrandRapids,Discovery Housepublishers,(2005)p90.

5. MeetYourselfintheBible,RoyLaurin,Chicago,KampenPress(1946),p120.

97


98

HAVING GOOD THOUGHTS

TOWARDS OTHERS

Chapter Eighteen

nothersecrettobecomingsuccessfulistohaveAgoodandpositivethoughtstowardsothers.

Haveyounoticedthatit iswhenyouareintrouble

thatpeoplesympathisewithyou?Peopletendtocome

aroundandgiveyouwordsofcomfort.Butwhenyouare

celebrating successorachievementa lotof thosewho

comearoundyoutorejoicewithyoudonottrulyrejoice

withyou,alltheydoistocomeandseewhatyouachieved

thenlateratnight,theywouldplotyourdownfall.

Manyofthepeopleyouseearoundarefullofpretence

99

and hypocrisy. Even those pretending to support and

standbyyouintimesofadversityarethesamepeople

plottingyourdownfall.

Having good and positive thoughts toward others

requiresadisciplinedheart.Thefactis,whenyoudon't

havepositivethoughtstowardsothers,youwouldnever

becomesuccessfulyourself.That isoneof thereasons

whymost of the timeswe find ourselves in the same

positionsforsolong.

Godwouldalwaysclothyouwithmisfortunebecause

you don't rejoice with other people in their

achievements. Marian Anderson observes; “As long as

youkeepapersondown,somepartofyouhastobedown

theretoholdhimdown,soitmeansyoucannotsoaras1

youotherwisemight”.

Life is full of jealous and enviouspeoplebut these

kindsofpeopleareyettoknowwhatlifeisallabout.If

youdon'thavetoday,itdoesn'tmeanyouwillnothave

tomorrow.Whatyouneedispatienceandendurance.

Theforceyouuseinsuppressingsomeonewouldbe

the same force that will prevent you from becoming

successful.Aslongasyoukeepapersondown,youare

preventingyourselffromsoaring.Youcannotsoarwhen

you are holding an object down. So long as you don't

movefromwhereyouarebecauseyouaresittingtoplot

Having Good Thoughts Towards Others

people'sdownfall,youwillnevermovetothenextpoint.

Successrequireshardworkbutalotofthatcomesfrom

having good and positive thoughts towards other

people'sfortune.Therefore,giveyourselfifyouwishto

getothers.

Tohavepositivethoughtstowardothersweneedto

avoidselfishness.Wewantthebestforourselvesbutwe

don'twantthebestforothers.Inordertoaccumulateand

retaingreatjoyandsuccess,youmustlearntogiveitout.

Whenyougiveitout,besureofreceivingitinmanyfolds.

Butselfishnessandgreedhavecausedmanypeopleto

liveinlifelongguiltbecausetheytieothersdestinies.

Manypeoplewonderwhytheyremainstagnantand

dormant. So they end up visiting prayer houses for

answers.Buthaveyousatbacktoaskedyourselfifyou

havegoodandpositivethoughtstowardsotherpeople?If

youdon't,youwillcontinuevisitingdifferentmedicine

menandprayerhousesbutcannotfindsolutionstoyour

problems.

Nowwhenwe talkofhavingenemies, canyousee

thatyouareyourownworstenemy?Youareyourown

enemybecauseyoupreventyourselffromsowingseeds

of destiny by sowing seeds of hatred towards your

neighbour. The force you use in suppressing and

oppressingothersisthesamethatsuppressesyourown

destiny.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Youdon'texpectsuccessinyourlifewhenyoudon't

wantotherstosucceed.Successdiminisheswhenyoutry

to keep it to yourself. It is easy tomournwith those

mourning and comfort those suffering. But it is very

difficultforonetorejoicewithapureheartwiththose

rejoicing.

Nothingbadwouldevercometoyouwhenyoudon't

havebadwishesandevilthoughtstowardsothers.The

measure you use in giving out would be the same

measureyouwillreceive.

Whenyoukeepenvyingpeople'sachievements,you

willdieofheartattackbecauseyouarealwaysthinking

of how to plot other people's downfall, thereby

preventingyourselffromsleepingatnight.Learntohave

goodthoughts towardsothersbecause itmakesevery

dayanddecadeworthliving.

101

Having Good Thoughts Towards Others

102

PEOPLE WHO SUCCEEDED

AGAINST ALL ODDS

Chapter Nineteen

1.WinstonChurchill.

ewasoneofthemosteffectivepoliticalleadersHevertostandontheworld'sstageorasoneof

themosthighlyregardedstatesmenofalltimes.

HewasaformerBritishPrimeMinster.Thefollowingisa

shortaccountofwhathepassedthroughinlife.

Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill's premature

birth occurred on November 30, 1874, two months

beforehewasdue.HisparentswereprominentEnglish

peoplebuttheyhadnotimeforhim,Hismotherdidnot

feedhim,butlefthiminthecareofanursewhenhewas

103

aninfant,andwithanannyashegrewolder,while

shepursuedsocialactivities.Hisfather,abusypolitical

leader,neverdemonstratedmuchinterestinhim.

Churchill had a difficult life, certainly one full of

challenges, tumult, opposition, and near misses. His

parentssenttheneglectedboytoboardingschoolasa

child.HedidnotexcelacademicallyexceptinEnglishand

historyorsocially.Hehadaspeechimpedimentwhichhe

nevercompletelyovercameandfailedtomakefriendsor

evengetalongwellwithotherslateinlife,hetoldstories

abouthavingtododgecricketballshisfellowstudents

threw at him. After that, at age nineteen, he nearly

drownedinanaccidentinLakeLausanne,andmuchlater

atagefifty-seven,hewashitbyacarinNewYorkCity.

Agraduateof theRoyalMilitaryCollege, theshort,

stocky, shy Churchill served in the British Army as a

young man, during that time, he saw combat;

participatedinacavalrycharge;travelledEurope,Africa,

CubaandIndiaandwrotenewspaperreportsandbooks.

At age twenty-four, Churchill resigned hismilitary

commissiontopursuejournalismandpolitics.Hesought

a seat in parliament, but lost the election. He then

travelledtoSouthAfricaasajournalistcoveringtheBoer

war,butwascapturedandthrownintoprison.However,

he managed to escape, which positioned him as a

militaryherouponhisreturntoEnglandin1900.That

People Who Succeeded Against All Odds

sameyear,heranforparliamentagain,andwonhis

seatbyanarrowmargin.

In1940,Churchillbecameprimeministerandinthat

position, exercised brilliant, courageous, strategic

leadership that rescued Great Britain on the edge of

seemingdefeatinWorldWarII.

In 1941, while visiting the school where he had

studiedasayoungster,thethenPrimeMinisterChurchill

is erroneously reported to have given a three-word

speech;Nevergivein”andthenpromptlyreturnedtohis

seat. In reality, Churchill gave a longer speech which

includedthesewords:“Thisisthelesson:nevergivein,

nevergivein,never,never,never,neverinnothing,great

or small, large or petty never give in except to

convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to

force;neveryieldtotheapparentlyoverwhelmingmight

oftheenemy”.

2.JohnWesley

Theco-founderofMethodismwasoftenaskedtonot

returntochurchesafterpreachinginthemonce.When

hepreachedonthestreets,townpeoplekickedhimout.

WhenhepreachedinMeadow,peopleturnedabullloose

on him. But later, because he refused to give up, he

preachedinapastureandtenthousandpeoplecameto

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

hearhim.

3.HenryFord

Henry Ford who invented the automobile, went

brokefivetimesbeforehesucceededinbusiness.

4.JamesCashPenny

A poor minister's son from Missouri, James Cash

PennyfoundedoneofAmerica'smostsuccessfulretail

businesses on the simple, timeless values of honesty,

integrity,respect,andhardwork.

Inadditiontohisworkasaminister,Penney'sfather

wasafarmerandPenneylearnedtoworkonthefamily

farmnearHamilton,Missouri.Hisfatherwantedtomake

surehischildrenunderstoodthevalueofmoney,sohe

madeJamesworktobuyhisownclothes,startingateight

yearsofage.

In1893,Penneygraduatedfromhighschool,hoping

tobecomealawyer,instead,hebecameasalesmanata

local dry goods store. J.M.Hale andbrothers, Penney

soon learned that everyone did not live by the same

values he held dear. Other clerks took business away

from him and he had to learn to be more confident,

develop his sales skills, and stand up for the sales

opportunitiesthatwererightfullyhis.

105


Inthemidstofthistimeofpersonalandprofessional

growth,Penney'shealthbegantodecline. Indangerof

contractingtuberculosis,hisdoctorurgedhimtorelocate

fromMissouritoadrierclimate.HeendedupinDenver,

Colorado,wherehefoundemploymentinthedrygoods

tradehehadlearnedfromMr.Hale.

The industrious and ambitious Penney soon had

enoughmoney saved to start his own business, so he

openedabutchershop.Itfailed,butnotbecausePenney

wasabadbusinessman;itfailedbecauseofhisintegrity.

Penneybelievedintreatingallcustomerswithkindness

andrespectandwhenrefusedtograntspecialtreatment

toacertaininfluentialcustomer,thatcustomerusedhis

influencetoforcePenneyoutofbusiness.

Following the closing of the butcher shop, Penney

went to work for the chain of Golden Rule dry goods

stores.Hebecameverysuccessfulthere,andeventually

became a partner in the company. While working for

GoldenRuleandlivinginWyoming,Penneyfell inlove

withBertaAlvaHess,andmarriedher.

Based on his philosophy of honesty, integrity, and

respect, Penney's business continued to grow and he

soon opened his own Golden Rule store. He provided

qualitymerchandizeat reasonableprices forworking-

classandhadareputationforexcellentservice.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

The owners of Golden Rule eventually sold out to

Penneyandhechangedthechain'snametoJ.C.Penney

Company.Penneymovedthecompany'sheadquartersto

NewYorkin1914andopenedthefirstofficialJ.C.Penney

storeinMissouriin1918.

Penneyhadseveralpersonaltragediestoovercome

ashecontinuedtobuildhisretailempire. In1910,he

suffered the devastating loss of his wife. Berta, who

succumbedtopneumonia,leavinghimtoraisetwosons

alone.Hewrotethatherdeathcausedhisworldto'crash'

aroundhim.

In1919,Penneymarriedagain,hiswife,Mary,bore

himason,butdiedin1923,leavinghimawidoweragain.

In1926,hemarriedagain.Heandhiswife,Caroline,had

twodaughtersandremaineduntilPenney'sdeath.

5.MaryKayAsh

WhatcomestoyourmindwhenyouseeaCadillacina

certain shade of pink, you know what it means. The

ownerisatremendouslyeffectivesalespersonforMary

KayCosmetics.

In 1963, the Mary Kay Company had eleven

salespeople.In2007,ithadmorethan1.7millionsales

representativeswith“IndependentBeautyConsultants”

107


inmorethanthirtycountriesaroundtheworld.What

wasthesecretbehindsuchphenomenalgrowth?Itwasa

womanwhonevergaveup;MaryKayAsh.

Shewasbornin1918,inHotWells,Texas.Bythetime

Mary Kay was six years old, she had the great

responsibilityofcaringforaseriouslyillrelativewhile

hermotherworked,oftenmorethanfourteenhoursper

day,toprovideforthefamily.AnytimeMaryKayfaceda

neworchallengingsituation,hermothertoldher 'you

candoit'.Becauseofhermother'sencouragementshe

grewupfeelingempowered,confidentandtrulyableto

doanything.

As a young girl,MaryKaywanted to growup and

becomeadoctor.In1938,whilestudyingtopursuethat

dream.Shetookapart-timesalesjobsellinghousehold

goods forStanleyHomeProductsandquickly realized

shewasextremelytalentedasasalesperson.Shesoon

chosebusinessovermedicinebecausesheenjoyedsuch

amazingsuccessinsales.

Several years later, Ash went to work for a gift

company,wheresheeventuallybecamenationaltraining

director. After twenty-five years as an outstanding

employeeintheareaofdirectsales,Ashresignedfrom

the company because a man she had trained was

promotedoverherandreceiveddoublethesalaryshe

wasmaking.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

ButMaryKaykeptgoing.Sherealizedshewasnottheonly woman being treated unfairly in corporateenvironments, so she decided towrite a book to helpother women enjoy the opportunities that were notavailabletoher.

Asshepennedthesethoughts,sherealizedshewasnotonlyofferingwomenadvice,shewasalsowritingthestrategy and philosophy of a new company. She oncesaid,“Ienvisionedacompanyinwhichanywomancouldbecomejustassuccessfulasshewantedtobe,thedoorswouldbewideopen toopportunities forwomenwhowerewilling to pay the price, and had the courage todream”.

By1963,shehadawealthofsalesexperience,aplan,fivethousanddollars,andatwenty-yearoldsontohelpherstarthernewbusiness,calledABeautyByMaryKay”.According to the company's website, “It was the firstcompany dedicated to making life more beautiful forwomen.ItwasfoundednotonthecompetitiverulebutontheGoldenRule-onraisingpeopletosuccessandonthe principle of placing faith first, family second andcareerthird”MaryKayoftencalledit“acompanywithheart”.

6.ZigZiglar

ZigZiglarwasbornin1926,inwhathetermed“very

109


modest circumstances” to a family that was

financiallychallengedinmanyways.”Hewas“thetenth

of twelve children born to a family living in rural

Mississippi.”Helosthisfatherattheageoffive.

Zigworkedfromanearlyagetosupporthisfamily.He

shared that he hadwhatwas known as an inferiority

complex.“UntilZiglar'suntimelydeath,heworkedhard

in a very depressed economy to provide for his large

family.Twodaysafterhisfather'sfuneral,Zig's14month

oldbabysisteralsodied.Zig'smotherdecidedtomove

thefamilytothe“bigcity”YazoocityontheMississippi

Riverdelta.

Zigworkedhiswaythroughschool,beginningwith

elementary school and continuing through his college

years.In1943ZigjoinedtheNavalAirCorps.Zigsaid,“I

neverwouldhavehadachancetogetintocollegewereit

notfortheprogramme.“Hecontinued,“Despitebeinga

poorstudent,IdidwellenoughonmyNavy/AirCorps

entrance exams to be accepted into Navy's pre-fight

trainingprogramme”.

HeenteredMillsapCollegeinJulyof1844,aspartof

theNavy'sV5programmeforNavypilots.Itwaswhilehe

was attendingMillsap that hemet and started dating

JeanAbernathy.

ZigwastransferredtotheUniversityofSouth

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

CarolinabytheNavy.WhenWorldWarIIended,Zig

continued to attend the University of South Carolina,

sellingsandwichestootherstudentstopayhisexpenses,

andcontinuedtocourtJeanAbernathybymail.Zigand

Jean were married on Thanksgiving Day 1946. The

summer after they were married, Zig's Sandwich

business died off. The couple began to struggle

financially. Zig got a job selling expensive cookware

through dinner parties, but he still had his inferiority

complex”.Thatwasthecaseuntilanimportanttalkand

words of encouragement mentor became the pivotal

eventthatchangedZig'sentirelife.

Ziglarprovedhismentorrightbymovingfromfailure

tosuccess.ButZigalsofacedmanyobstaclesasafield

manager,obstaclesthatweretotesthimintheextreme.

Zig Ziglar, the motivational speaker who has

galvanized audiences around the world and written

more than a dozen perennially popular books, brings

thatsameunboundedenergyandclarityofvisiontothis

candid,inspiringaccountofhisownlifeandtheforces

thatshapedit.

7.GoodluckEbeleAzikiweJonathan

BornonNovember20,1957,thenowex-presidentof

Nigeriawas not born rich, and in his youth, he never

imaginedthathewouldbecomepresidentofNigeria.But

111


henevergiveup.Notoncedidheimaginethatachild

fromOtuoke,asmallvillageintheNigerDelta,willone

day rise to the position of President of the Federal

Republic of Nigeria. Hewas raised by hismother and

fatherwithjustenoughmoneytomeettheirdailyneeds.

“Inmyearlydaysinschool,”hesays;“Ihadnoshoes,

noschoolbags.Icarriedmybooksinmyhandsbutnever

despaired.Thereweredays I hadonly onemeal but I

never despaired. Iwalkedmiles and crossed rivers to

school every day but I never despaired. I didn't have

power,didn'thavegenerators,studiedwithlanternsbutI

neverdespaired”.

In spite of all this, he graduated from high school,

attendedUniversityofPortHarcourt,andnowholdsa

doctoratedegree.HewastheGovernorofBayelsaState

fromDecember9,2005toMay28,2007,andwassworn

inastheVicePresidentoftheFederalRepublicofNigeria

on 29May, 2007.He became the President of Nigeria

betweenMay,2010andMay29,2015.

Afterthe2015generalelectionsinNigeria,Goodluck

Ebele Jonathan was appointed as the World Peace

Ambassadordue tohisrole inensuring thepeaceand

stability that Nigeria is enjoying today, a role that

attracted aworldwide commendation includingmajor

worldleadersfromUnitedStatesofAmerica,Russiaand

China.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

113

ANSWERING TO YOUR CALL

Chapter Twenty

hadthevisionofwritingat theageofeleven.MyIpotentialinthisregardwasevident.Initsveryearly

stage,Iwasputtingeveryimaginationintowriting.I

never knew the importance of what I was doing, of

courseItookitforfun.Withmypenandpaper,Iwouldsit

andwritepoems,stories,articlesandofcoursedebates.I

knew nothing about becoming an author. Iwasmore

interested inbecominga lawyer in the future. Inever

thoughtofbecominganauthoraswell,thoughIwasinto

writing .buthereIamtoday

IlovedcreativewritingbutIhatedhavinganythingto

114

do with calculation and my teachers knew I was not

interestedinmathematics,Ifeelthesamewaytilldate.

Sometimes when I was given assignments in

mathematics,Inevermadeattemptatsolvinganything.I

willrathergiveittosomeonetosolveforme.Iwasmore

interested in reading advancedbooks aswell as story

booksandthatmademyclassmatestomockme,thatifI

amgiventheopportunity,Iwouldpurchaseabookshop,

butthatnevermovedme.

Ikeptonwritingwithnobodytomotivateme,indeed

nobodymotivatedme.Nobodycaredtohelpmeout,and

nobodycaredtofindoutwhatIwasgoodindoing.Not

evenmymotherbecauseshewasawayfrommeforeight

years of my childhood, leaving me in the care of my

grandmotherwhocouldneitherreadnorwrite.Theones

Iwasabletowrite,mycousinscamearoundpickedthem

and read. In fact, I enjoyed every bit of it. I was just

writingnotknowingtheimportanceorwhatIwasdoing.

MaybeifIhadsomeonetomotivateme,itwouldhave

beenbetter. Ibecameboredwithwritingthat Ihadto

stopbecause;IfeltIwaswastingmytime.Istayedaway

frommycreativewritingforthreeyearsbutIwasstill

interested in reading books, this was because I had

nobodytoguidemeneitheranyonetomotivateme.

Ihadnoonewhocaredtoaskmeaboutmyhidden

potentialsandabilities.ButofcourseGodneverforsook

THEREALITYOFLIFE

me. Hewas still interested in usingme to educate as

manyasIcan,notmindingmyageandmybackground.

Thespiritofwritingneverleftmebutitwasdormantfor

threeyears.

Aftersometimes,Godusedsomeonetoinspiremeto

gobacktowriting.SomeoneIwouldneverforgettillthe

dayIleavethisplanetearth.GodusedLillian,aNational

YouthCorper,apsychologistandacounsellorwhocame

onaoneyearmandatorynationalserviceinmyschool.

Sheaskedmetobecomeherfriend.Ididn'tknowwhy

butthefirstquestionsheaskedmewaswhatdoyoulove

doing?Itoldhercreativewriting.LilliantoldmethatI

hadsomethingthattheworldneeds.Sheencouragedme

tocontinuewriting.ShetoldmeIwasimportantandthat

abrightfutureawaitsme.

She was the reason I continued with my writing

hobby.Indeed,hercareformeispartofthesuccessof

thispieceofwork.IhadthezealtowritebecauseLillian

toldmeIhadtofacemytomorrow.

Iwasmotivated towrite out ofmy passion, Iwas

motivatedtowriteoutofGod'sgraceandhisunfailing

love. IwasmotivatedtowritebecauseLillian inspired

me.AndIwishthatthereadersofthisbookwouldbe

motivatedtostepupwhattheyhaveinthemthusmaking

useofittoedifypeoplearoundthem.

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Answering To Your Call

Itwas indeed very tasking towrite this book. But

becauseofGod'sguidance,Iprevailedandtodayyouare

readingthisbook.

I chargeyou tomotivateyourself even thoughyou

mightbe fromaverypoorbackground.Nobodymight

caretostirupyourabilitiesandpotentials.Butyoucan

motivate yourself even if nobody motivates you. See

yourselfaspartofthoselivinginthisworld.AlthoughI

come fromapoorbackground, but I refuse to be tied

downbymybackground,Idonotallowmybackground

toweighmedown.

AlthoughatfirstIfeltlike,evenifIwrite,Ihaveno

money to publish it, I have no one to sponsor it;

eventuallyIkickedagainstthatthought.Istartedfrom

whereIcanandwithwhatIhaveandGodsentpeopleto

helpme. I did not allowmy background toweighme

down.IknowwhatmyfutureholdsandIimploreyouto

dothesame.

Eveninthemidstofcrowds,Godisawareofyouand

hecanpickyouupandbestowhisblessingsonyou.God

loves you.Donot limit yourself anddonot let people

underrateyou.Justbecontentedwithwhoyouaretoday,

anduseyourabilitieswiselysothatyouwillnotremain

inthesamepositionforever.

Godwantsthebestforyouandhewantsyoutomove

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

fromwhereyouare.Hedesirestouseyoutoextendhis

kingdomhereonearth,ifonlyyouknowtheimportance

ofwhatyouhaveinyou.

IknowmineandIknowtheimportanceofmyown

abilities andpotentials. Start fromwhere you are and

don'tdespiseyoursmallbeginning,youwerebornwith

thatgifttomakeimpactinsomeone'slife.Thegiftinyou

hastobestirred.Godwillalwayscrownyoureffortswith

success.

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Answering To Your Call

118

KNOWWHYYOUEXIST

ChapterTwentyOne

veryindividualhasapurposeforexistence,andsoEdoyou.Yearsago,Ihadthevisionofbecominga

writer.My potentialwas so evident in its early

stage.Writingcheckoutstorieswasoneofmyhobbies.

This made me read advanced books. I wrote books

withoutknowingthereasonwhyGodgavemetheability

towrite.

I became discouraged of writing when my friends

startedmakingmockery ofme. So ignorantly I stayed

awayfromwritingforthreeyears.However,theability

andquesttowriteneverleftme,althoughitwasdormant.

Thatisthedangerofnotknowingwhyweexist.

Ourworldisfullofpeoplewhoareignorantoftheir

purposeonearth.Ifyouaskpeopleabouttherelevance

of their existence, you would be stunned by their

answers.Mostpeoplecannottellyoutheirpurposefor

existence because they have no clear perspective for

theirlives.Theyarelivingpurposelessly.Tosome,their

reasonforexistenceistogetmarriedandliveinaluxury

house;acquirewealth,driveexpensivecarsandthelike.

Ifthisishowyouseeyourexistence,Itellyou,youare

wrong.

Norman Vincent Peale in his book, the power of

positive thinking writes; “A young man of twenty-six

consultedmebecausehewasdissatisfiedwithhisjob.He

wasambitioustofillabiggernicheinhislifeandwanted

toknowhowtoimprovehiscircumstances,hismotive

seemedunselfishandentirelyworthwhile”.

“Well,wheredoyouwanttogo?”Iasked

“Ijustdon'tknowexactly”hesaidhesitantly.

“Ihavenevergivenitanythought.IonlyknowIwant

togosomewhereotherthanwhereIam”.

“Whatcanyoudobest?”Ithenasked.“Whatareyour

strongpoints?”

“Idon'tknow”,heresponded.“Ineverthoughtthat

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

overeither”.

“Butwhatwouldyouliketodoifyouhadyourchoice,

whatdoyoureallywanttodo?”Iinsisted.“Ijustcan't

say”, he replied dully. “I don't really knowwhat I

would like to do. I never thought it over. Guess I

oughttofigurethatonetoo”.

“Now,lookhere”,Isaid,“youwanttogosomewhere

fromwhereyouare,butyoudon'tknowwhereyou

wanttogo.Youdon'tknowwhatyoucandoorwhat

youwouldliketodo.Youwillhavetogetyourideas

organized before you can expect to start getting1

anywhere”.

Ifyouwanttoreachagreaterheightinlife,youmust

knowyourpurposeonearth.Youmustdecidewhereyou

wanttobeorwhatyouwanttoachieve.

Jesussaid,“ForthisreasonIwasbornandforthisI

cameintotheworld,totestifytothetruth”(John18:37).

IfJesushadclearpictureofwhyheexist,youhaveno

optionbuttohavesamealso.Godnevercreatedyouto

getlostinthemidstofthecrowd,youareirreplaceable,

andnobodycanfulfilyourownpurpose.Havingagreat

mental picture of why you exist stirs your zeal and

determinationtoaccomplishwhatGoddesignedyouto

do.So,whetheryoulikeitornot,youmustfulfilGod's

purposeonearth.

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Know Why You Exist

“Youdidnotchooseme,butIchooseyouandappointed

youtogoandbearfruit.Fruitthatwilllast.Thenthefather

willgiveyouwhateveryouaskinmyname”(John15:16).

ItisamandatefromGodthatyoumustbearfruit.This

isthereasonforyourexistence.Havingavisionmakes

youseethementalpictureofyourdestinybecausevision

istheabilitytoseeintoyourfuture.

Youwillneverarriveatthetopwithoutavision.Ifyou

want to reach a greaterheight, youmusthave a clear

vision.Havingaclearmentalpictureofwhatyouwantto

becomeinthefuturehelpsyoutowalkintherighttrack.

This is because when you see yourself as a star, you

behavelikeone.

David became a leader and a hero because he

defeated Goliath. David saw in God the possibility of

killingGoliathandhedid.Peoplewithshortsightcannot

flyhigh.Toflyhigh,youmustbeabletoseeliketheeagle.

Ifthevisionyouseeisallaboutwhattoeat,whattowear

andtheexpensivecaryouwanttodrive,thenyouhavea

limitedvision,theresultyouwillachievewillbesmall.

Nootherbirdcangototheheightoftheeaglebecausean

Eaglehasstrongvision.

TheEaglehasvisualpigmentcellontheconiaofits

eyes that are eight timesmore concentrated than the

eyesofahumanbeing.Itissaidthataneaglecanstandat

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

apointorataheightandbeabletoseealmostahundred

milesaheadandbecauseitisabletoseethatfar,itliterally

flieshigherthananyotherbird,tenthousandfeetabove

sealevelwheresomeairplanesfly.

Theeaglebecause it sees far; flieshighandmoves

withspeed.Youcannotbeatthetopifyoudon'tknow

howtogetthere.Youmusthaveaclear,definitedirection.

Whenyouhavedirection,youhaveamindset.Onceyou

areabletoarticulateandclarifyyourpurposeonearth,

youwillbeabletoidentifyyourgoals.

DREAMS

Do you know that a dream predicts the future? A

dream is a giant mental picture you have about

somethingcomingahead.Dream,ifpursued,wouldmake

yougrowtowardsyourpotential.Dreamwillalwayskeep

youontherighttrack.Simplyput,adreamisaspecial

feelingaboutwhatandwhoyouare.

However, it is not just having a dream that would

make you do the impossible; you need to put action

behind it in order to make the dream come true.

Therefore,learntoactonyourdream.

Manypeoplehavedreamsbut only fewpeople are

tenacious, committed and hungry to see their dreams

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Know Why You Exist

becomereality. Interestingly,dreamscannotbeburied

withoutafight.FlorenceLittauer,authorofSilverBoxes

tells a story about hermother-in-law,Marita Littauer

whohadadreambutdidnotdevelopedit.

Florence one day asked her aging mother-in-law

what she would have been if she could have been

anythingshewanted. “AnOperaSinger,” sheanswered

without hesitation. “I wanted to study music, but my

parentsfeltthatwasawasteoftime,thatI'dmakemoney

in the millinery business. But I was in one show in

college,andIhadthelead”.

Thememoryofthatdreamneverlefther,eventhough

hermotherhadshotitdown.Inherlastdays,hermind

fadedandshecouldnolongerspeak.Butsomeevenings,

shewouldstandproudlybyherchairandsingoperato

hernurse, even in the twilightofheryears, thatdeep

desireneverlefther.Florencesaid,“Motherhadtalent

thatwasneverbegun.Motherdiedwithmusic still in2her”.

DreamsDon'tDie–TheyFadeAway

Manypeoplehavedreams,butbecause they fail to

developtheirdreams, theydiewithwhat theyhave in

themnowonderthegraveyardseemtobetherichest

placebecause somanydreamsandvisionshavebeen

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

buriedthere.

YourDreamisWorthWritingDown

If you have a dream, write it down because that

dreamneeds to be purged. God gave it to you free of

charge,youneverpaidforit.Itdeservestobedone.What

doyouwanttobecomeintenyears?Writedownyour

plansforthenexttenyearsthatisproofthatwereally

wanttobesuccessful.

Theimportanceofhavingadreamisthatitgivesyoua

clearpictureofwhyyouexist,anditmakesyoudothe

following;

1. Walkwithagoodsenseofdirection.

2. Makesyoufocused.

3. Whenyouhaveadream,makingdecisionswon't

bedifficult.

4. Makes you answer the question “Why was I

born?”

Readytopaytheprice.

Havingadreamdon'tjustendsthere,youwillhaveto

payaprice,ifyourdreamistobecomealawyer,thenbe

ready to burn yourmidnight candle. Youwill have to

sacrificeyourleisureandifyouarethekindwhosleepall

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Know Why You Exist

throughthenight,thenyouwillhavetoadjust.Thisisthe

priceyouhavetopayforyourdreamtobecomeareality.

Youwillneverbecomesuccessfulwithoutpayingthe

price.Thegreatpeopleyoueverheardaboutallpassed

through challenges of somany kinds, they succeeded

becausetheyweresodeterminedtokeepstriving.Great

Inventors,Architects,MedicalDoctors,Lawyersetcwere

allordinarypeoplewithvisionsanddreams.

HenryFord,whoinventedtheautomobile,firstsaw

his ability through vision and dream. So although he

wentbrokefivetimes,henevergaveup.Goingtothetop

takesawholelotofcommitment.

YouHaveNoExcuse

If you ask many people why they are still in the

positiontheyareforlong,theywilltellyouthingslike

familybackground,finances;younamethem.Excuseme,

if I had looked atmy family background,my dreams,

visionsorgiftswouldhaveremaineddormant.Ilooked

beyondmy present predicament, my background has

beenonshaky-footingbutIchosetopresson.

IfBeethovenmovedbeyondhislimitations,youhave

noexcuse.Beethovenbroughttolifehisinnervisionfor

musicwhenhecomposedsymphonies,evenafterhelost

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

his hearing. Charles Dickens dreamt of becoming a

writerandbecamethemostreadnovelist inVictorian

England–despitebeingbornintopoverty.

Thesepeoplehadclearpictureofwhytheyexisted

andthatwaswhytheymovedbeyondtheirlimitations.

Yourbeingalivetodayisforareason.Goddesignedyou

forapurpose; it isuptoyouto let thatpurposetobe

accomplishedinyourlife.Youcannotdothingsbeyond

yourthinking.

Iwas challengedwhen I read aboutOctober1968

Olympic history. A group of die-hard spectators

remained inMexicoCity'sOlympic stadium to see the

lastfinishersoftheOlympicmarathon–morethanan

hourafterMamoWoldeofEthiopiahadwontheraceto

theexuberantcheersoftheonlookers.Butasthecrowd

watched and waited for the last participants, it was

gettingcoolanddark.

Itlookedasifthelastrunnerswerefinished,sothe

remaining spectators were breaking up and leaving

whentheyheardthesoundsofsirensandpolicewhistles

comingfromthemarathongateintotheStadium.Andas

everyonewatched,onelastrunnermadehiswayintothe

trackforthelastlapofthetwentysixmilerace.Itwas

JohnStephenAkhwarifromTanzania.Asheranthe400

metrecircuit,peoplecouldseethathislegwasbandaged

andbleeding.Hehadfallenandinjureditduringtherace,

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Know Why You Exist

buthehadn'tletitstophim.Thepeopleinthestadium

roseandapplaudeduntilhereachedthefinishline.

Ashehobbledaway,hewasaskedwhyhedidnotquit,

injured as hewas and having no chance ofwinning a

medal. “MycountrydidnotsendmetoMexicoCity to

starttheRace”,Heanswered,“theysentmetofinishthe3race”.

Akhwarihadaclearpictureofwhathiscountrysent

him to Mexico for. He knew his purpose and the

importanceoftherace.Hehadaclearpictureandthat

madehimfocusontheracenotmindinghisinjury.

Imagine how far you can go when you know the

purposeofyourexistence.

Reference:

1. Norman Vincent Peale, “The Power of Positive Thinking”

(PublishedbySimon&Schuster,Inc.NewYork 1980)Pg

92.

2.FlorenceLittauer,SilverBoxes(Dallas:Word,1989)Pg.136 38,

14647.

3.BudGreenspan, the100GreatestMoments inOlympicHistory

(LosAngeles:GeneralPublishingGroup,1995)

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

PLANAHEAD

ChapterTwentyTwo

owthatyouknowwhyyouexist,startmakingNplansahead inorder toattainyourgoals.You

can nevermove towards your dreamwithout

makingplans.

WhatisaPlan?

MerriamWebsterdictionarydefinesplanas;“Asetof

actions that have been thought of as a way to do or

achievesomething”.Onitspart,TheCambridgeEnglish

Dictionarydefinesplanas;“Asetofdecisionsabouthow

128

todosomethinginthefuture”.

Theauthorviewsplanas;asetofideasorobjectives

tobeachieved.Planningisalsoregardedasforethought.

WhyYouNeedToPlan

Planningisaroadmaptosuccess.Itmakesyouhave

understandingofwhatyouwant,andhowtogetitdone.

Itmakes youknowwhere you are andwhere you are

headingto.ForGodtodirectyou,youmusthaveaclear

plan.

God himself had a plan before creation. Ephesians

1:11 says; “In him we were also chosen, having been

predestinedaccordingtotheplanofhimwhoworksout

everythinginconformitywiththepurposeofhiswill”.

Godcanonlygiveyouhelpinghandwhenyoumake

plans tomovetowardswhatyoudesire. Ispokeabout

dreamsintheearlierchapter.Yourdreamwillcometo

realitywhenyouplanhowtoachieveit.Doyouhavea

dream?Youalsoneedaplan.Itisnotjusthavingadream;

youneedtohaveaplan.

Having a plan makes you organized; it helps you

manageyourtimeproperly.Italsomakesyoufocused.

Thesuccessfulpeopleyoureadaboutarepeoplewhohad

plansfortheirlives.Theywereabletomakedecisions

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

andstandbythem.

Trying to be successfulwithout planswouldmake

youreffortfruitless.Godgivesthevision,butweareto

maketheplans.

“Supposeoneofyouwantstobuildatower.Willhenot

firstsitdownandestimatethecosttoseeifhehasenough

moneytocompleteit?Forifhelaysthefoundationandis

notabletofinishit,everyonewhoseesitwillridiculehim,

saying, “This fellowbegan tobuildandwasnot able to

finish”(Luke14:28-30).

GuidelinestoMakingPlans

1.YourGoalsNeedtobeWrittenDown

Whatsoeveryouwanttoachieveinthenextfiveyears,

putitonpaperandsay,“Bytheyear...,thisiswhereIwant

tobe”.Onceyouareabletowritedownyourobjectives,it

becomesyourroadmap.Awrittengoalorobjectivehelps

youtoclarifywhatyouintendtodo,afterwritingdown

yourgoals,youneedtokeepgoingthroughitoverand

overagain,thisisbecauseasthedays,monthsandyears

goby,yourgoalswillbecomeclearer.

Whatsoeveryouwouldwanttobeknown-for;putit

into writing and God will give you direction. Having

beingabletorealizewhoIam,Imakeitapointofdutyto

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Plan Ahead

jotdownwhatIwouldwanttoachieveinthenextten

years.What Iwouldwantpeopletosayaboutme, the

legaciesIwouldwanttokeep.Thishasreallyhelpedme

walkwithdirection.Ifyouwalkwithoutdirection,any

directionwhichisnodirectionwilldo.

2.SetanAchievableGoal

Neversetgoalsoutsideyourreach.Successfulpeople

neversetgoalsbeyondtheirreach.Theysetattainable

goals.

Neveruseanotherperson'sstandardtosetyourgoal.

Knowwhatyouarecapableofdoingandwhatyoucanbe

abletoachieve.Youneedtobespecificaboutwhoyou

are,whatyouhave,andwhereyouaregoing.Thiswill

makeyourgoalsachievable.Askyourselfwhatisitthatis

workingforyou?Whatareyourthreegreatestassets?

3.ReadBooksThatWouldGiveYouSenseOfDirection

Whenyoureadappropriatebooksthatwoulddirect

yoursteps,makingplanswouldnotbedifficultforyou.

Youneedtoimbibetheattitudeofreading.Youwilllearn

alotwhenyoureadusefulbooks.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

4.StartFromWhereYouAre

Ifyoureallywanttosetanobjective,youmustavoid

procrastination; youwill never be able tomake plans

whenyoukeepprocrastinating.Procrastinationisahabit

thatneedstobetamed.Itstealsawayyourtimeandeven

opportunitiesthataremostlikelytocomeyourway.

5.TellGodYourPlans

Godbeingthesourceofourvisionisalwaysthereto

helpourdreamscometrue.TellGodhowyoufeeland

whatyouwanthim todo foryou,hewill surelymake

provision.PrayforGod'sguidanceanddirection.

Proverbs16:1says,“Tomanbelongtheplansofthe

heart,butfromtheLordcomesthereplyofthetongue”.If

youdon'tseekGod'shelpwhilemakingplans,thatgoal

wouldneverbeachieved.Godleavestheplanningupto

youbuthewillmakeprovisionforittobeaccomplishedif

onlyyouseekHim.

EffectsOfPoorPlanning

Thefollowingaretheeffectsofpoorplanning

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Plan Ahead

1.Failure

Youwillneverbesuccessfulwithouthavingagood

plan. Improper planning will result in failure. A man

withoutgoodplansisheadingtowardsfailure.

2.MisuseofResources

Whenyouareunabletomakeagoodplan,youwill

never be able tomanage your resources. Peoplewith

plansmake it a point of duty to investwith the little

moneytheyhave.Theydon'tspendunnecessarily.What

did you do with your last year's salary? Most people

spendalltheirmoneyonacquiringTVsets,Cars,bigger

phonesetc.

Peoplewithgoodplansseetheirmoneyasseedtobe

sown.Theyknowthat investment is thekeytohaving

enough (abundance). People with plans do not buy

thingstheycan'taffordjustbecausetheywanttokeepup

with their joneses.Weneed tobeable todifferentiate

betweenneedsandwants.Peoplewithplansspendless.

Weneedtospendonlyonthingsthatwillimproveour

lives.

It amazesmewhen I see how people spend their

moneyextravagantlyduringChristmas,theyevenendup

indebtsandbythetimeschoolsresume,theyfinditvery

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

difficulttofootthebillsoftheirchildren.Thatistheeffect

ofpoorplanning.Mostoften,wespendunwiselybecause

wewanttoemulatetherichpeople.

Askayoungmanwhohasnoplanswhathewilldo

withfivemillionnaira.Thefirstthinghewilltellyouis“I

would buy a car, expensive phones and laptops and

attendparties;infactIwilllivebig”.Iamnotsayinggood

plannersdon'tbuytheseitems,theydo,buttheyfirstput

their money into investment and by the time their

investmentsyieldfruits,theyhaveenoughtolivewith.

3.BeingDependent

Lackofplanswillmakeyoudependent.Ifyouarea

man who is above thirty and still depends on your

parents for everything, you nevermade plans in your

early20's.Youdon'tneedtobecomeoldbeforeyoustart

makingplans.Makeplansahead.Startworkingonhowto

makeyourfuturebrightandbettertomorrow.

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Plan Ahead

SHAREYOURDREAMSWITHTHERIGHTPEOPLE

ChapterTwentyThree

tissaidthatwhenyoushareyourdreams,youwillIhavenolimitationsastowhatyoucanaccomplish

because the impossible comes within reach. This

statementisrightbutviewingourenvironment,andthe

peoplewelivewith,youwillfindthatpeoplefallintotwo

groups.

1.TheFireFighters

These people are always ready to quench the fire

ignitedinyoubymeansofyourdreams.Theyarealways

135

against younomatterwhat youdo; they always have

somethingtosayordoinordertodiscourageyou.These

sorts of people will tell you what you are looking is

impossible. They are negative thinkers who do not

believeanythingispossible.

Ourworldisfullofpeoplewhothinktheyhearfrom

Godbetterthanotherpeople.Theywillmakeyoufeel

inferior–theyarealwaystheretotellyouthatcan'tbe

done,yououghttodoitthiswayandwhenyoulistento

them,theywillenduprobbingyouofyourdream.

Criticsalwayshavethesestatements;itcan'tbedone,

it shouldn't be done, it won't be done. You should be

readytofacethem.Josephhadthesameproblem.When

hesharedhisdream,hewasrebuked.Whenyoushare

yourdreamwithpeoplewhodonothavethesamevision

withyou,theywillenduprebukingyou.

Josephhadadream,andwhenhetoldittohisbrothers,

theyhatedhimallthemore.Hesaidtothem“Listentothis

dreamIhad,wewerebindingsheavesofgrainoutinthe

fieldwhen suddenlymy sheave rose and stood upright,

while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed

down to it”.Hisbrothers said tohim, “Doyou intend to

reignoverus?Willyouactuallyruleoverus?”andthey

hatedhimallthemorebecauseofhisdreamandwhathe

hadsaid.Thenhehadanotherdream,andhetoldittohis

brothers,“Listen”,hesaid,“Ihadanotherdreamandthis

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

timethesun,,themoonandelevenstarswerebowingdown

tome”.Whenhetoldhisfatheraswellashisbrothers,his

fatherrebukedhimandsaid,“whatisthisdreamyouhad?

WillyourmotherandIandyourbrothersactuallycome

andbowdown to the groundbefore you?”His brothers

werejealousofhim,buthisfatherkeptthematterinmind

(Genesis37:5-11).

Itiscommonthinginourworldtofindthatpeople

laughatyouwhenyoushareyourdreams;someeven

thinkyouaremad.

2.TheFireLighters

Thesearepeoplewhoarealwaystheretohelpand

supportyouevenwhenyoufail.Theywillencourageand

adviceyoubecausetheybelieveyouhaveabrightfuture

aheadofyou.Thesepeoplebelieveallthingsarepossible.

Peoplewhothinkpositivelyhelpyoutoseethingsina

betterlightbecausetheirvisionisnotmyopic.

Theyhaveeyesthatseenoteyesthatlook.Theysee

possibilities insteadof impossibilities.Whenyougoto

themforadvice,theygiveyouideasthatwillrebuildyour

life. Regardless of your current situation; they believe

youwillnotremaininthatsituationforever.

Weneedtoshareourdreamsandvisionswithpeople

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Share Your Dreams With The Right People

whohaveourinterestatheart.Iwillforeverbeindebted

toTitusTion,ShawoDangana,PatrickBassaandKefas

Musa. These people were always there to guide and

supportme,theymademydreamcometrue.Oftentimes

when I felt like giving up, they call me to order and

encourageme.Theystoodbyme,especiallyinmytimes

oftrials.

Associatingwiththerightpeopleisveryimportant

especiallyifyouwanttogofarinlife.Avoidfirefighters,

they will never understand what you are dreaming

about, you can't tell your dreams to everybody right

away.

Joseph'sbrotherswerethefirefighters,theynever

encouragedhim,and instead, they lookedathimwith

disgustandhatred.Evenhisfatherrebukedhim,because

hefeltJosephwastooyoungtohavesuchadream.

TeddyRooseveltmethisshareofcritics,buthefaced

themhead-on.Heneverlistenedtothem.Hearwhathe

said;“It isnotthecriticwhocounts;notthemanwho

pointsouthowthestrongmanstumbledorwherethe

doer of the deeds could have done them better – the

creditbelongstothemanwhoisactuallyinthearena;

whosefaceismarredbydustandsweatandblood;who

strives valiantly;whoerrs and comes short again and

again,becausethereisnoeffortwithouterrorandshort

coming;whodoesactuallytrytodothedeed;whoknows

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

the great enthusiasm. The great devotion and spends

himselfinaworthycause;who,attheworst,ifhefails,at

least fails while daring greatly. Far better is to dare

mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though

checkedbyfailurethantorankwiththosepoorspirits

whoneitherenjoynorsuffermuchbecausetheylivein1

thegraytwilightthatknowsneithervictorynordefeat”.

People ofmediocreminds are peoplewith limited

vision. Because they don't see beyond their present

predicament, they choose to remain where they are

without making progress and because they are not

progressing, they tend to discourage people with

dreams.

Theeyesthatlookarecommonbuteyesthatseeare

rare.Weliveinadispensationwherepeoplearescaredof

tryingnewthings.Thisisbecausetheyarescaredofthe

unknown.Peoplewithshortvisionwouldalwayswantto

discouragepeoplearoundthem.

Forthe fact that Josephwasnotencouragedbyhis

closerelatives,thatdidnotstophimfrombecominggreat

inlife.Youwillnotfailbecausepeopleneverencouraged

you.Youwillfailbecauseyouchoosetolistentothemand

you never believed in yourself. Your success is

determinedbythepeopleyouchoosetolistento.Ifyou

constantly listentodefeat,youwillnevergetanything

done.

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Share Your Dreams With The Right People

AssociateWithGrowingPeople

It might not always seem comfortable to associatewithpeoplewhoareadvancedandaheadofyou.Butitisprofitablebecauseyouwilllearnfromthem,adaptandbegintoactlikethem.Whenyouassociatewithpeoplededicatedtogrowth,itchallengesandencouragesyoutodevelopyourself.

SharingmydreamwithTitusTionwasthebestthingIever did. Because he had the same vision asmine, heguided me, encouraged and helped me develop mywritingskills.

Thetimeyouspendwithgrowingpeopleisneverawaste.Infact,youcannotgrowwithoutamentor.Ifyouwant to go far in life, you need a mentor to guide,encourageandadviceyou.Thelittletimeyouspendwithagoodmentorwillincreaseyoursenseofreasoning.

But don't stop there, also read good books, tradejournals,andlistentotapes.Thiswillalsoincreaseyoursense of reasoning. When you mingle with positivethinkers,youthinkpositively.Ifyouminglewithnegativethinkers,youendupbeingnegativeaswell.Bearinmindthatwhenyouspendtimewithpositivepeople,youhelpyourselfseethingsinabetterlight.

Reference:

1.CitizenshipinARepublic,“SpeechatSorbonne,April23,1910.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

LEARNTOTAKERESPONSIBILITY

ChapterTwentyFour

anypeoplearefarfromtheirdestinybecauseMthey are scared of taking responsibility for

theirlives.Theyhavelittleornosenseofvalue

forthemselves.Butifyoureallywanttogofarinlife,you

must learn to take responsibility for your life. Taking

responsibilityforyourlifetriggersasenseofself-value

andesteem.

Youwillnevergofarinlifeunlessyouworkonyour

actions,pastmistakes,failuresandsoonandsoforth.You

canalwayslearnfromyourlifestyle,youdon'tneedto

dependonanyone.Youneedtobeconfidentenoughto

141

makeyourowndecisionsratherthandependonother

peopletomakedecisionsforyou.Knowwhatisbestfor

youandworkhardinordertoattainyourgoals.

The successful people you read about today are

people who stood their grounds and said no to

oppositions. They believed in themselves; they made

decisionsthattheywerenotgoingtoallowfailureand

pastmistakesbogthemdown.Theywerereadytostand

andfightforwhattheybelievedwasgoodforthem.

Taking responsibility for your life makes you

appreciatewhoyouare.Ithelpsyoutoworkonyourself

instead of sitting and comparing yourselfwith people

aroundyou.Ithelpsyoufocusonyourstrengthandalso

help you work on your weakness. By taking

responsibilityforyourlife,itmeansrespondingtoyour

ability.

SincethedayIrealizedthatmysuccessdependson

theway I am able to pull through the challenges that

comemyway,Istartedtakingresponsibilityformylife.

Because I'maware thatsuccessand failuredependon

howfarI'mabletohandlethem,Ibecamemorecareful

ontheactionsanddecisionsItake.Thisdoesnotmean

youshould leaveGodaside;nobodycan truly succeed

without seeking God's direction. You can take

responsibilityforyourselfbythedecisionsyoumake.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Whenyoutakeresponsibilityforyourself,youwon't

havetoblameotherpeopleforyourcircumstanceseither

wouldyoubemakingexcuses.

Sometimeago,Iwascounsellingapromisingyoung

manwhohadmadeamessofhislifebyindulginginhard

drugs.Inthecourseofourdiscussion,hetoldmethat

eachtimehestoppedtakingdrugs,hisfriendscallhima

weakling.

Youareresponsible forwhateverhappens inyour

life. Psychologists say that some people possess an

internal locusofcontrol,where theyrelyprimarilyon

themselvesforthegainsandlossesintheirlives.Others

possesanexternal locusof control,where theyblame

otherswhensomethinggoeswrong.

The difference is clear, isn't it? Those who take

responsibilityfortheirlivesalwaysbecomesuccessful.

Whereyouarepresentlyisdeterminedbywhoyouwere

inthepast.Whatyouwillbecomeinthefutureinturn,is

determinedbywhoyouarepresently.Thatmeansyour

pastchoicesinfluenceyourpresentcircumstancesand

yourpresentcircumstanceswouldalso influenceyour

future.

What you will become ten years to come is

determinedbyyourpresentattitude.Youdon'texpecta

balancedfuturewhenthepresentisnotbalanced.Keep

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Learn To Take Responsibility

blaming people for everything and youwill never get

anythingdone. It isnotpossible togo fromexcusesto

success.

JohnMaxwellwrites;“SometimesIfeelthatonlyafter

turningsixty-fivedidIbegintounderstandlife.Nowthat

I'mofficiallyaseniorcitizen,Icansaythattherearetwo

thingsIknowaboutmylife.First,ithascontainedmany

surprises.Mylifedidn'tturnoutlikeIthoughtitwould.

Some things turned out better than I imagined; some

thingsworse.Nomatterwhoyouare,it'simpossibleto

knowhowyourlifewillturnout.Second,aslongasItake

responsibilityforthethingsIcancontrolinmylife,and1trymybesttoearnfromthem,Icanfeelcontented”.

Youhavethepowertothinkpositively.Youhavethe

powertosayfailurecannotweighyoudown.Youhavethe

power to say, “I will keep striving no matter the

challengesIpassthrough”.

Patricia Sellers once wrote; “The most successful

(people)atbouncingbackviewfailurenotlikeacancer

but rather, like puberty; awkward and uncomfortable,2

butatransformingexperiencethatprecedesmaturity”.

Peoplewho take responsibility for their livesdon't

waitforacrowdbeforetheydowhatisright.Infact,they

believe that everybody's responsibility is nobody's

responsibility.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

David L. Dawson, author of Equipping the Saints,

EstablishingtheVisiontoldastoryaboutfourChristians

namedEverybody,Somebody,AnybodyandNobody.

Accordingtothestory;“Therewasanimportantjob

tobedoneandEverybodywasaskedtodoit.Everybody

wassurethatSomebodywoulddoit.Anybodycouldhave

done it,butNobodydid it.Somebodygotangryabout

thatbecauseitwasEverybody'sjob.Everybodythought

Anybodycoulddoit,butNobodyrealizedthatEverybody

blamed Somebody when Nobody accused Anybody. If

Everybodywillget involved, thenNobodywillneedto

blameAnybodybecauseSomebodywillhavedonethe3jobthatneedstobedonebyEverybody”.

People who are always giving excuses never get

anythingdonebecausetheyfailtotakeresponsibility.In

fact,theyrunawayfromresponsibility.

ImportanceofTakingResponsibility

Takingresponsibilityforyourlifewillgiveyoupower

tosolvepersonalproblemsoflife.Youwillalwaysbelieve

thatforeveryproblemthereisasolution.

Takingresponsibilityforyourlifewillmakeyouhave

highself-esteem.Youwon'tgiveroomforpeopletolook

downonyou.Remember,nobodywillevermakeyoufeel

145


inferiorwithoutyourpermission.

Taking responsibility for your life will make you

appreciatewhoyouare. Insteadofcomparingyourself

withotherpeople,youwillvaluethepersonGodcreated

youtobe.IfthereissomethingIneverdid,itiscomparing

myselfwithotherpeople.IvaluethepersonGodcreated

metobenotsomeoneelse.Godwouldneveraskyouto

usesomeoneelse'slifetomeasureyours,instead,hewill

askyouwhyyouwerenotthepersonhecreatedyoutobe.

AlanMcGinnis,inhisbook;HowtoSucceedatBeing

Yourself,writes;“TheHasidicRabbi,Zuschawasaskedon

hisdeathbedwhathethoughttheKingdomofGodwould

belike.Hereplied,“Idon'tknow.ButonethingIdoknow,

whenIgetthere,Iamnotgoingtobeasked,'whyweren't

youMoses?Whyweren'tyouDavid?Iamonlygoingtobe

asked“Whyweren'tyouZuscha?Whyweren'tyoufully4

you”.

Choosingtotakeresponsibilityforyourlifeisthebest

thingyouwilleverdoinyourlife.Everyminutecounts.

Never allow a singlemoment passwithout you doing

something important.The choice is yoursbecause the

ball is in your court. You either choose to take

responsibility for your life rather than always giving

excuses.Whateverresultsyougetyouhaveyourselfto

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

blame.Remembertimewastedcanneverberegained.

References:

1.JohnC.Maxwell,“Sometimesyouwinsometimesyoulose”2013.

Pg65&66.

2.PatriciaSellers,“Soyoufailed.NowBounceBack!”CNNmoney,

May1st,1995.

http://money.cnn.com/magaziines/fortuune/fortune-

achieve/1995/05/01/202473/index.htm, accessedrdOctober3 2017.

147


NEVERALLOWADVERSITYTOWEIGHYOUDOWN

ChapterTwentyFive

xtraordinary people survive under the mostEdifficult circumstances and after that become

evenmoreextraordinarybecauseofit.

Everychallengethatmightevercomeyourwaycan

beovercomeifonlyyoufaceitwiththerightmindset.Life

isnotvoidofproblems;infact,lifeisfullofproblems.So

manypeoplerunawayfromproblemsinsteadoffinding

waystosolvethem.Adversitywillneverbeover;theywill

keepcominginmanydirections.

Goddesignedustoovercomethethingsoftheworld.

Wewerenotdesignedtorunawayfromthem.Nomatter

148

howsuccessfulyoubecome,themoreproblemsyouwill

keephaving.Nomatterhowhardwework,wewillnever

becomeproblem-free.WeneedgracefromGodaswellas

powertosolvepersonalproblems.Weneedtolearnfrom

ourproblems.

Adversityistheguidelineforsuccesswhenyoufaceit

with the right attitude. The fact that you are passing

through difficulties and challenges do not mean you

should give up on yourself. Many great leaders and

scholarshavemoreproblemsthanwethink.Theypass

throughadversityofsomanykinds.WinstonChurchill,

oneofthemosteffectivepoliticalleaders(PrimeMinister

ofUnitedKingdom)hadhisownshareofadversity;Dr.

MartinLutherKingJr.andNelsonMandelawerenotleft

out.

In1963,MartinLutherKingJr.wasarrestedandsent

tojailbecausehealongsideotherswereprotestingthe

poortreatmentofblacksinBirmingham.Birminghamin

1963wasahardplaceforblacksto livein;everything

wassegregated;frombusinesstochurchestolibraries.

Blacks faced constantdiscriminationand the constant

fearofviolence.Kingwasjailed29times.Accordingto

theKing'scentre,thecivilrightleaderwenttojailnearly

30 times. King narrowly escaped an assassination

attempt a decade before his death by a woman who

plunged a seven inch letter opener into his chest, for

whichhehadtoundergosurgery.

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Never Allow Adversity To Weigh You Down

King'smotherwasalsoslainbyabulletonJune30,

1974. Martin Luther King Jr. endured harassment,

threatsandbeatings.Andevenbombings.Hefacedmany

difficultiesbecauseofhisactivismbutkeptonmarching

andprotestingevenuntohisdeath.

MartinLutherKing Jr. just likemanyotherswould

have given up when he faced the threat of death but

because he was determined and courageous, he

confrontedhischallengeshead-on.MartinLutherKingJr.

evenafterhisdeathisstillrecognizedasahero.

NelsonMandelawas anotherherowhogeneration

aftergenerationwillberemembered.Heisaterrificand

inspirationalrolemodeltousallforhisdeterminationto

endtheapartheidregimeinSouthAfrica.Heovercome

adversity and never allowed misfortune to affect his

passion.NelsonMandelagavehislifeforotherstolive.He

wasarrested,discriminatedagainstandfacedwithmany

major adversities because he stood up for what he

believedinandhopedfor.

NelsonMandelaovercameadversityusinghisstrong

characteristicssuchaspersistence,faith,strongwill,and

courage.Hespent27yearsinSouthAfricanprisonandhe

experiencedmanytraumaticlifeevents,yethestilldidn't

giveuphishope.

Someonewouldthenconcludethatcourageisnotthe

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

absenceoffearbutbeingtriumphantoverit.Thebravest

ofmen are not thosewhodonot feel afraid, they are

thosewhoconquertheirfears.

Theweapons of success for NelsonMandelawere

courage and determination. He succeeded because he

neveralloweddiscriminationtomakehimfeelinferior.

John C. Maxwell in his book, Sometimes You Win

SometimesYouLoose,writes;“Adversityhasintroduced

me to myself many times during my lifetime. It has

openedmyeyes–ithasplumpedthedepthsofmyheart.

Ithastestedmystrengthandithastaughtmealot.Here

areafewofthelessonsIhavelearnt:WhenIhavegotten

off trackandamseemingly lost, Ihave learnt that the

roadtosuccessisnotalwaysaroad.WhenIhavebeen

exhaustedandfrustratedIhavelearnedthattryingtimes

are not the time to stop trying. When I have been

discouragedwithmyprayers,Ihavelearnednottolet

whatIwasdoinggettomebeforeIgotit.WhenIhave

failed, I have learned that Iwill not be judged by the

numberoftimesIhavefailedbutbythenumberoftimes1

Isucceeded”.

OprahWinfrey inherbookTurnYourWounds Into

Wisdom says; “Adversity when faced with the right

attitude,opensthedoortoopportunity.Whiletosome,

theyallowittosendthemtoapermanentdetour....Alot

ofpeoplethinktheycan justpraytheresistanceaway

151


andhavenothingelsetodowithit,butitdoesn'twork

thatway.Lifeisfilledwithproblemsandnothinginlifeis

really fun unless you have something to conquer. A

mountain that is easy towalk up is not fun to climb.

Satisfactioncomeswhenthemountainissteepandyour

footing is unstable. That's when you enjoy the2challenge”.

Adversity will always cause you pain when you

respondtoitwithnegativeattitude.Thepowertobeable

tostandadversityisinyourmind.Whenyoukeeptelling

yourselfthatyouaregoingtosucceedeveninthemidst

ofthechallenges,Itellyouthetruth,aslongasyoudon't

giveuponyourself,youwillpull through.Believethis

andyouwillbevictorious.

Henry David Thoreau says; “The secret of

achievementistoholdapictureofasuccessfuloutcome3inthemind”.

Psychology pioneer Jim Loeher says; “Champions

havetaughtushowtotakeanexperienceandessentially

write the story of it's effect. If you see failure as an

opportunitytolearnandgetbetter,itwillbeinthatway.

The power of the story is more important than the4experienceitself”.

Therejection,starvation,painandinjusticeyouare

passing through today is actually preparing you for a

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

betterfuture.Whenyoulearnfromit,youwillbeableto

reachoutyourhandtocomfortpeopleinpain,helpthose

whohaveneeds,andevenfightforjusticewherethereis

injustice. Like Jim said, the story learnt from your

experienceismoreimportantthantheexperienceitself.

Nobody recognizes hard work, but people celebrate

success.

ThestoryofRuthencouragesus tobecourageous.

Ruthchosethehardercourse,havingnoideahowshe

wouldbereceivedwhenshearrivedinBethlehem(Ruth

1:6-22).

TheattitudeRuthdevelopedduringhertimeoftrial

wasnotthesameattitudeNaomideveloped.ShefeltGod

wasnotbeingfairassuchhetreatedherunfairly.

“Don't callmeNaomi,” she told them “callmeMara

becausetheAlmightyhasmademylifeverybitter.Iwent

awayfull,buttheLordhasbroughtmebackempty.Why

call me Naomi? The Lord has fully afflicted me; the

Almightyhasbroughtmisfortuneuponme” (Ruth1:20-

21).

Naomibuiltwallsaroundherlife.Shefailedtolook

beyondherpresentpredicament.ButRuthneverfeltthe

samewaywhileinhertrials;shechosetorespondtoit

positivelywiththerightattitude.

Ruthneverallowedhercircumstancestoweighher

153


down, insteadshebelievedbyprayingandworking in

faith,herfaithinGodwillpavewayforher.

WarrenWiersbewrites;“ShewaslivinginaJewish

family that evidenced very little faith in the God they

professed toserve.Naomi lethercircumstancesmake

herbitter.Ruthletthemmakeherbetter.Ruth'sattitude5

broughtablessingthatcannotbemeasured”.

Augustine Ibrahim observes; “The simplicity or

difficulty of the issuesof life greatlydependson your6perception”.

YouNeedGodByYourSide

WeneedtopartnerwithGodtosolvetheproblemsin

ourlives.Peoplewhogetbackontheirfeetarepeople

whoputtheirtrustinGod.Ifyouwanttomovetothenext

level,thenyouneedGodbyyourside.Godisalwaysthere

tohelpusifonlyweputourtrustinhim.

Jesussays;“Becauseyouhavesolittlefaith,Itellyou

thetruth,ifyouhavefaithassmallasamustardseed,you

cansaytothismountain,'movefromheretothereandit

willmove.Nothingwillbe impossible foryou” (Mathew

17:20).

SometimeswhenIfeeldiscouragedandatthepoint

of giving up, I go back to God in prayers and he

strengthensme.Weneedtoacknowledgethepowerof

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Godinourlives.ThemomentyourecognizeGodasthe

sourceofyourpower,youwon'thavecausetogiveup.

Evenwhenyoufeelweak,Godisalwaysthereforyou.

Whenever the roadgets rough, always remember that

oursovereignLordisincontrolofallsituations.

“TrustintheLordwithallyourheartandleannoton

yourownunderstanding. Inall yourwaysacknowledge

him,andhewillmakeyourpathstraight”(Proverbs3:5-

6).

TrustGodtomakeawaywherethereisnowayand

theskywillbeyourstartingpoint;notyoulimit.

Reference:

1.JohnC.Maxwell,“Sometimesyouwinsometimesyoulose”2013.

Pg133&134.

2. Scot Anderson. Think Like A Billionaire, Become a Billionaire.

2006(WinwordPublishing)Pg.119.

3. Henry David Thoreau, www.goodreads.com/quotes1569482

accessedOctober4thh2017.

4 . P s y c h o l o g y P i o n e e r D r . J i m L o e h r .

www.golfdigest.com/story/jaime-diaz accessed 5th

October2017.

5.WarrenWiersbe,putyourlifetogether;StudiesintheBookofRuth

(Lincoln,NE:BacktotheBiblePublications,1985)Pg94.

6.AugustineIbrahim.SalvationisMigration(PublishedbyTimmy

Graphics,OldMinnaGarage,Suleja,NigerState,Nigeria,

2008)Pg175.

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BELIEVEINYOURSELF

ChapterTwentySix

eoplewhodevelopbelieveinthemselvesachievePmore in life. The key to being successful and

havinggreaterachievementinlifeistheattitude

oftheheart,mostpeopledon'tbelievetheyhaveabilities

thatwillturntheirlivesaround.Whetherwebelieveit

consciouslyorsubconsciously,somewheredeepinside

ofusareabilitiesthatneedtobepurged.Butifyoudon't

believe in yourself, you will never step into greater

achievements.

Itispathetictorealizethenumberofpeoplewhose

livesaremiserablebyreasonofinferioritycomplexthey

156

have.Butweneednotbedisturbedbecauseinferiority

complexcanbeovercomeifonlyyoubegintobelievein

yourself.

Most people in our society today are depressed

becausetheyhavelittleornoconfidenceinthemselves,

assuchthey livemiserablybecauseall their livesthey

havebeentormentedbythefeelingofinferiority.

Isufferedthissamefeelingsomeyearsback.Feeling

shyandbeingscaredofrejectionmadeitdifficultforme

toassociatewithpeople.HavingrealizedthatIcandoall

thingsthroughHimwhogivesmestrength,Ichangedmy

thinkingpositively–yourattitudeisdeterminedbywhat

youthinkofyourself.

Stage-frightiscausedbythepainofhavinginferiority

complex.Imagineyouwereaskedtogiveapublicspeech,

youhavealltheabilitiesinyoubutwhileonstageyour

mind is occupied with the thought of being poorly

dressed, I tell you the truth, you will begin to lose

confidenceinyourself.

Everyindividualatsomepointisscaredofonething

ortheother.Itisnormal;youcan'tchangethatfactbut

you can avoid it. Do not let fear of the unknown

overwhelm you. Every individual was created for a

purpose.Weallhavearoletoplayandanassignmentto

carryoutbutthatcanbepossibleonlywhenwebelievein

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Believe In Yourself

ourselves. The only personwho can pull you down is

yourself.

Peoplewhosucceedinlife,firstsawtheirabilityand

successthroughtheirmind'seye.Sometimewethinkwe

arenotgoodenoughtoperformaparticulartaskorwe

don'thavewhat it takestosucceed in life.Weneedto

understand that wewere all created in a unique and

extraordinaryway.Ifyouwerecreatedinauniquewayit

meansyoucandothingsinauniqueway.

We need to develop the attitude of believe in

ourselvesbecauseitisveryimportantandcrucial.When

youkeepthinkingthatsomanypeoplearebetterthan

you,definitelyyouwillstarthavingfeelingsofinferiority,

whichiswhatself-doubtcandotoyou.Self-doubtkeeps

pullingyoudownuntilyoulosefocus.

An inferiority complex is created through your

thoughts, and so can be overcome through your

thoughts.Whateveryouareashamedorscaredofdoing

hasbeenprogrammedinyourthoughts.

In recent times, I developed fear of crossing

highways.Becauseof this Iuse thepedestrianbridge.

Thisisbecausethefeelingthatsomethingwasgoingto

happen has been programmed in my mind and I get

frightened.ButI'mbeginningtoknockthefeelingoutof

mymind.

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

Whatever feelings you have, has been in your

thoughtsforalongtime.Whatliesinsideyoudetermines

whatcomesoutofyou.Butyoucanreplaceevilthoughts

withgoodthoughtsbyalwaystellingyourselfthatyou

candoallthingsthroughChristwhogivesyoustrength.

Always know that you cannot do things beyond your

thinking.Ifyouhavealimitedbelievetowardswhatyou

canachieve,thentheresultyougetwillbesmall.

We need to build up the feeling of self-confidence

instead of self-doubt. You have all it takes to become

whoever you want to become. To be confident in

yourself, you need to keep occupying yourmindwith

positivethoughts.Ifyoukeepthinkingofbeingdefeated

inlife,thenyouareboundtobedefeated.

Keepinmindthatnomatterthedifficultiesandtrials

you are passing through, you will surely overcome.

Imagineyouwentforacompetition,,andyourmindis

occupiedwiththefeelingofbeingdefeated,youwillend

upbeingdefeated. Whatyoufearwillsurelydefeatyou

beforeyourealiseit.

The great scholars succeeded in life because they

viewedthepictureoftheirsuccessintheirsubconscious

mind,evenbeforetheybecamesuccessful.Whenwesee

peoplewhohavehighIntelligenceQuotient(IQ),wefeel

we cannot compete with them. So many people are

intelligentbutthewisdomtogoaboutthethingsoflifeis

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Believe In Yourself

lacking.

Scot Anderson writes; “A person's preconditioned

thinkingwillalwaysdeterminethemateriallevelthathe1canreachinlife”.

Ifyoudon'tbelieveinyourself,youwillendupgiving

upeasilyinlife.Whateveryouthinkyoucandoiswhat

youwill do.Never allow the fear you have inside you

preventyoufromtryingnewthings.Successfulpeople

don'tshyawayfromtakingrisks,insteadtheyareboldat

takingrisks.Peoplewhobelieveinthemselvesarepeople

withhighAdversityQuotient(AQ).PeoplewithhighAQ

havepositiveattitudetowardsfailure.Soeveniftheyfail,

theykeeponbelievingthatsomedaytheywillsucceed.

WhyDoPeopleGiveUp?

Somanypeoplegiveupinlifebecausetheylosehope;

they lose hope because their mind is occupied with

negativethoughts.Theyallownegativethoughtsoccupy

theirmindsbecausetheydon'tbelieveinthemselves.

BobWosczykinhisbook,WhoSaysthefatLadyhasto

Singswrites;“Wehaveallheardtheexpression,“It'snot

overuntilthefatladysings”.Theimplicationhereisthat

whenthefatladysings,thegameisoverandthewillto

continuefightingislost.Wechoosetostaydownonthe

canvas of life, afraid to get up and go another round

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

becausewe are toobeatendown to absorb anymore

punishment.Wewouldratherquitonourdreamsthan

continuetofightinpain,neverknowingwhatcouldhave

been.Whenwefinallyallowthefatladytosing,weare

foreverhauntedbytheghostof“whatif?”“whatifIquit

toosoon?”,“whatifIwasontherightpath,butthengave

uptooearly?”,“whatifmyverynextactioncouldhave

beentheonethatfinallyturneditallaround?”,“whatifI

couldhavelivedthelifeIreallywanted,ratherthanthe2

lifeIhadtosettlefor?”

BobWosczykwentontoask;“Whydoesiteverhave

tobeover…?Whendid itbecomeokay togiveup, lay

down,rollover,andattempttosleepawayourproblems,

losingourenergyandenthusiasm for life?Whomade

quittinganoption?Whosays the fat ladyhas tosing?

Whatwedon'tunderstandisthatmostpeoplequitwhen

theyare just inchesaway from their goal.Theynever

realizejusthowclosetheyactuallyaretoreachingtheir3dream”.

Never allow the thought of “what if” prevent you

fromstrivingforsuccess, insteadkeeppersistingwith

determination,youwillgetthere.Somanypeoplegave

upbelievinginthemselvesbecausetheyweremocked.

Expect people's mockery, it is common. The fact that

peoplemockyoushouldnotbecomeayardstickforyou

to give up on yourself. Instead their mockery should

become a momentum that will keep boosting you

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Believe In Yourself

morale.

Iwasmockedsomanytimes.Infact,peopletoldme

thingslikeIshouldpurchaseJambT-shirtbecauseI'm

theirregularcustomer.Incaseyoudon'tknow,Iwrote

JAMBExamination fourconsecutive timesand I'mnot

ashamedofsayingitbecauseyouknowwhat,Ibelievein

myself.Idon'tgiveitadamnwhatpeoplesay.SolongasI

knowwhoIamandtheabilityIhavethroughGod'sgrace

uponmylife,

IwillcontinuebeingconfidentofmyselfandIwillnot

give room for people to intimidate andmakeme feel

inferior.Ican'twastemyprecioustimegettingdepressed

when I have important tasks ahead of me to be

accomplished.BeingdepressedisawasteoftimeandI

don'tintendbeinginthatstateofmind.

Thelittlesecretaboutgreatpeopleisthis;theycryin

theirclosets,wipetheirtearsintheircloset,encourage

themselves,getbackontheirfeetandcomeoutstrong.

Theydon'tgivepeoplethesatisfactionofseeingthemcry

and becoming depressed. You have not really failed

unlessyoustoptrying.

Wheneveryou feel likegivingup, createapositive

thoughtinyourmindandtellyourselfPhilippians4:13is

yourlogo.Ifyoukeeprecitingit,itwillsurelystrengthen

you.Whenyouletyourfearsbecomepartofyou,youwill

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

betieddownandincapacitated.Donotevergivepeople

thesatisfactionofseeingyoudepressed.

RoyLaurinwrites;“Neverstopworkingtofight.Be

readytofightandrepeltheinvaderbutalwayskeepup

the work. Aman's greatest defence is the work he is

doing, ifheconstantlyrespondstotheattackmadeon

him,hecannotworkandifhedoesnotwork,hewillnot4

beabletofulfilthepurposeofhislife”.

On the outside, youmay be saying that you really

wanttobesuccessfulbutdeepdowninyourheartyour

perceptionistellingyouthatyoudon'thaveallittakesto

becomegreatinlife.

AugustineIbrahimwrites;“Yourmind–imaginations

andthoughtsarenaturalgiftsfromyourcreatortoyou,if

you refuse to unlock it –maximize its potentials then

negativities, impossibilities, calamities, adversities,

frailtiesand the likeswill comeuponyou likea flood.

Schizophrenic lifestyle sets in when the mind is sick

which accordingly leads to mental captivity,

unfruitfulness,orbarrennessofthemind;andofcourseI

presumeyouknowthat,worthlessisanymanwithouta5healthy-balancedmind”.

Neverallowtheflowofnegativethoughtstodefeat

you.Youhavecontroloveryourthoughts.Godwilltake

youtowhateveryoucanenvision.Makesureyoudon't

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Believe In Yourself

giveupbelievinginyourself.Youcandomuchmorethan

anyonecaneverthinkoforimaginebecausewhatyou

believein,dictatesyouroutcome.Youneedtocreatea

conduciveenvironmentinyourheartforGodtoworkin

you.Learntomotivateyourselfevenwhenpeopleseem

todiscourageyou.Whatyouthinkaboutyourselfiswhat

mattersmost.

Mostofusmissgreatopportunitiesduetoself-doubt.

Wedon'tevenwanttotrytakingriskbecausewebelieve

riskisdangerous.Youarethearchitectofyourfailureas

farasyoudon'ttakechancestomakeadvancement.

Reference:

1. Scot Anderson. Think Like A Billionaire, Become a Billionaire.

2006(WinWordPublishing)Pg.91.

2.BobWosczyk,WhosaystheFatLadyhastoSing?Howtoovercome

theEightFearsthatmakeUsQuitonourlifelongDreams

(Tucson:Wheatmark,2008)Pg12.

3.BobWosczyk

4.Meet yourself in the Bible, Roy Larin, Chicago, Kampen Press

(1946)Pg120.

5.SalvationisMigration,AugustineIbrahim,PublishedbyTimmy

Graphics, Old Mina Garage, Suleja, Niger State, Nigeria

(1977),Pg103.

164

THEREALITYOFLIFE

MAKEANEFFORT

ChapterTwentySeven

fyoudesiretosucceedinlife,thenyouneedtomakeIaneffort.Somanypeoplearesitting idlewith the

mentalitythatGodwillsurelyprovideforthem.For

Godtoworkmiraclesinyourlife,youhavearoletoplay.

YouhavetogiveHimsomethingtoworkwith.Forthefact

thatyoubelieveinyourselfdoesnotmeanyoushould

foldyourarmsandexpectGodtoworkmiraclesthrough

you.Godwillnotjustsendmoneyfromheaventoyour

bankaccount.Weneedtowakeupandstopdeceiving

ourselves.

ToomanyChristianshavebeendeceivedbysocalled

165

ministerswhotellthemaschildrenofGodtheyarenot

suppose to suffer because God will always make

provisionwhentheyareinneed.ItellyouthatGoddoes

notdelightinlaziness.BeforeHewillhelpyou,youneed

tomakegreateffort.Youneedtomovefromyourcomfort

zoneanddosomething.Everythingyouwillachievein

life requires hard work. Your hard work dictates the

blessingsyouwillreceivefromGod.

Youneedtochangeyourmentalityandstartthinking

ofwhatyouwilldoforGodtoblessyou.Godwillonly

blesstheworkofyourhands.Godgaveyoutheabilitybut

youhavetoputthatabilitytouse.Ifyouwatchsuccessful

people,theonethingtheyallhaveincommonisthatthey

workveryhard.Theydonotwastetheirtimebecause

theybelieveeverysecondcounts.Theymaximizeevery

second,minuteandhourofeveryday.

Lifeisfullofopportunities;youmissthembecause

youaretooreluctanttomakeaneffort.Whenyoumake

effort,youaresureofreceivingarewardsomeday.

“Allhardworkwillbringwithitprofit,butmeretalk1leadsonlytopoverty”.

There is no profit in being lazy, success is not

determinedbythenumberoftimesyousayyoubelieve

inyourselfbutthelittleeffortyoumake.Godwantsyou

togetupandmakeaneffortbeforeHecanbeofhelpto

you.HisWord tellsusHewillguideourstepsnotour

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

sittingorlyingdown.God'sworddidnotsayyoushould

foldyourarmsandwaitforamiracle.Ifyoureallywant

Godtodirectyou,thenyouneedtostepout.

GodwillneverchangeHisstandardforyoursake.He

willnottellsomeonewhohasbeengoingupanddown

tirelesslytolookforhisdailybreadtocomeandfeedyou

everydaywhileyoujustsitandfoldyourarms.

Success requires efforts, success does not happen

accidently.Itisnoteasytobecomesuccessful,anditis

not written anywhere that successful people become

successful by accident or luck. Success will never be

achievedbypeoplewho lieon theirbeddayafterday

sleeping and snoring. You need to do something

productive.

Unfortunately, so many people expect success to

comeeasy;therefore,theysitback,prayandfastforGod

toblessthembecausetheyfeelitistheirright.Theyare

simplywaitingforGodtosendmannafromheavenand

placeitontheirtable.Weneedtoworkforoursuccess

and not merely wish for it. You are actually setting

yourselfforfailurebecauseofyourlackofeffort.

Successful people work very hard, they deny

themselvessleep,leisureandevenrisktheirlivesjustto

achieve success. For the fact that you dream about

successdoesnotmeanyouwillachieveit.Youneedto

makeawholelotofsacrifices.

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Make An Effort

Thereisalwaysapricetopayforsuccessandnothing

willeverchangethatfact.Tosucceedinlife,youhavetwo

choicestomake;paynowandplaylater,orplaynowand

pay later.There isno twowaysabout it. Itseitheryou

suffernowandenjoylaterorenjoynowandsufferlater.

Effortsareimportantbecausepeoplevaluewhatthey

workhardforandGodvaluesandrecognizesefforts.How

canGodblessyouwhenyouhavenotputyourhandsto

profitableventure?ThewordofGodsaysGodwillbless

theworksofyourhandsnotthesittingofyourbuttocks.

Peoplewhoarewisecreateopportunitiesforthemselves

whilethefoolishonesareblindtoopportunities.

Youdon'twaitforopportunities,ratheryouhaveto

create them. Effort is the foundation of every success

story.Whathasbeenourproblemisthatwewantstress-

freeandeasysuccess,whichisimpossible.

BrianTracywrites;“Successisnotanaccident.Sadly,

failureisnotanaccidenteither.Yousucceedwhenyoudo

what other successful people do, over and over, until

thesebehavioursbecomeahabit.Likewise,youfailifyou2don'tdowhatsuccessfulpeopledo”.

EffortRequiresDiscipline

Tobeabletomakeaneffort,youneedtodiscipline

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

yourself.Peoplewhomovefromtheircomfortzoneare

peoplewhomadeuptheirmindstokeeppersistingno

matter the outcome of every circumstance. We need

discipline to make ourselves do what we should do,

whetheritispleasantorunpleasant.

Successrequiresessentialdisciplinethatwouldhelp

buildupyourpersonality.Youdon'texpecttheroadto

successtobesmooth,itisalwaysgoingtoberoughand

only disciplinedminds can walk through successfully.

Whenyouaredisciplined,youwillnotallowfearofthe

unknowntopreventyoufromtrying.

Youmaybeaskingyourself,“WhatifIfail?”itisbetter

to fail trying thannot tohave triedat all.Youneed to

possess the driving force to get what you want, the

techniquesissimple:discipline.

EffortRequiresFocus

Being focused is to avoid being distracted. People

whoare focuseddedicate theirminds toachieve their

goals and objectives. Focused minds know why they

engageinanyformofactivity.Wherewegetitallwrongis

thatwewanttoengageourselvesinsomanyactivitiesat

aparticulartimeandthenweendupbecomingJackofall

trade,masterofnone.Mostpeoplepursuetheirdayto

169

Make An Effort

day activitieswithout really knowingwhat theywant

exactly. They choose so many things and end up

achievingnothing.Thisistheimbalancethatpreventsus

fromattainingourgoals.

Tobefocused,youmustknowwhatyouwant.You

needtoclarifyyourdestination,thatis,self-awareness.

Havingaclearpictureofwhereyouwant tobe in ten

years,yourattentionwillbeonhowtogetthere.Focused

mindsareconsciousofwheretheyare,theyneverallow

distraction to take themoff their track.They focuson

whattheywantevenwhentheyrealizetheyaregoingoff

theirtrack,theymakeadjustmentimmediately.

Youcanneverarriveatthetopwithoutbeingfocused.

I likeusing theeagleasanexamplebecause theeagle

possessescharacteristicsIsomuchadmire.Ifyouever

happentoseeaneaglesittinghighaboveacliffofastiff

mountainorontopofatalltree,thebirdisveryattentive.

Thebodysitsstillandtheheadwillbemovedfromside

tosidetoobservewhatishappeningaroundoraboveit.

JohnC.Maxwellwrites;“Ironically,manypeopledo

exactlytheopposite.Ratherthanfocusontheirdream

andletgoofthelessimportantthings,theywanttokeep

everyoptionopen.Butwhentheydo,theyactuallyface

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THEREALITYOFLIFE

moreproblemsbecausedecisionmakingbecomesoverly3

complicatedforthem”.

Withfocus,youwillsurelyattaingreatfeat.

Reference:

1.www.geraldpaul.com/success-optimization.

2.BrianTracy.NoExcuses!2010Pg27.

3.JohnC.Maxwell.YourRoadmapforSuccess.2002(Publishedby

Nashvile,Tennessee,byThomasNelsonInc)Pg28

Keturah Zagga was born on May 5, 1998 in New Karu,KaruLocalGovernmentArea,NasarawaState, Nigeriawhereshecurrentlyresides.She is a young gifted writer with great vision and passiontoeducatepeoplethroughherworks.Sheis a StudentofNasarawaStateUniversityKeffi . “The Reality of Life” is her first book but she intends to authormanyotherbooksinthenearestfuture.

THER

EALIT

YO

FL

IFEK

etu

rahZagga

THEREALITYOFLIFEleavesnothingtochanceindelivering

wholesome counsel to both young and old. It aids reader's

understandingofhowtogoaboutlifeandexpectpositiveresults.

The author discusses almost everything ranging from habits to

imbibeandthosetoeschew,toexamplesofindividualswhowereable

to weather the storms against their lives and as a result became

influential.Thereisnodoubtastowhatisresponsibleforourfailures

andmiseriesandwhattodototurnaroundourlivespositively.

Thiswork is highly recommended for a confused andmisguided

generationlikeours.Theyoungpeoplewilldothemselvesaworldof

goodtomakeitadailycompanion.

Theolderpeopletoowillbegreatlyaidediftheyhumblyrespond

to the counsel contained in this piece ofwisdom froma young lady

whowriteslikeanolderadultwithareservoirofwisdom.

Iearnestlyemployyoutoliterallydissectthisworkforyour

personalgoodandthatofthepeoplearoundyouandindeedyour

� 7 8 - 9 7 8 - 9 6 2 - 3 4 2 - 6

AuthorContact:+2348165581142

E-mail:- [email protected]:KeturahZagga

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

JKL

reality of life. 11 · life with every strand of courage needed to make it in the journey of life....

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