RETURN TO LOVEReflections on de Mello’s teachings Rememer the feeling you have when someone praises you and approves of you or when you are ap-plauded, now contrast that with the kind of feeling that arises within you when you look at the perfect sunset or any beautiful sight in nature, or when you listen to music or watch a moovie you totaly enjoy. Understand that the first type of feeling comes from self-glorification, it is a wordly feeling.The second comes from self-fulfillment, it is a soul feeling.Another contrast:Remember the feeling you have when you succeed in some business and get to the top, or win a bet or an argument, contrast that with the kind of feeling you get when you are totaly absorbed in the job you love and therefore enjoy doing.Another contrast:Now, try to understand the true nature of wordly feelings, they are not natural, they were invented by society and culture to make you productive and controllable.These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates Nature, enjoys ones work and friends. The wordly feelings are meant to produce thrills, excitement and ultimately the feeling of emptiness. Now, observe how much of your daily activities are engaged in by desire for thrills, desire for attention, approval, fame, success or power.Look at the people around you, is there a single one of them not addicted to these wordly feelings ? Is there anyone who is not consciously or unconsciously seeking them ? When you see this, you will understand how people attempt to gain the world, and in the process lose their own soul. They live empty, soulless lives.Here is a parable of life to ponder on :A group of tourists sits on a bus that is passing through gorgeously beautiful country, lakes, mountains, green fiekds, and rivers. But the shades of the bus are pulled down . They do not have the slightest idea of what lies beyond the windows of the bus. And all the time of their journey is spent arguing who will have the seat of honour in the bus and who will be applauded. And so they remain until the journey’s end !

Look at the world and the unhappiness in you and around you.Do you know what causes it? You will say loneliness, war, hatred, etc., but you are wrong. There is only one cause of unhappiness : the false beliefs you have in your head, the beliefs so wide-spread and commonly held that it never occurs to you to even question them. Because of these mistaken beliefs you see yourself and the world in a distorted way. Your programming is so strong and the pres-sure of society so intense that there is no way out, because you do not even suspect that your perception is distorted and your thinking is wrong. Look around and find one single genuinely happy person- fear-less, free from insecurities, anxiety, tension, worries. You are lucky if you find one in a hundred thou-sand. This shoud lead you to be suspicious of the programming and beliefs you hold in common. If you are not happy, you usually blame yourself, not your programming, your cultural and inherited beliefs. but most people are so brainwashed that they don’t even realize how unhappy they are, like a person in a dream who has no idea he is dreaming.

So, what are these false beliefs?

1. That you cannot be happy without the things you are attached to and consider so precious. False ! There is not a single moment in your life when you do not have everything you need to be happy. The reason why you are unhappy is because you focus on what you do not have instead of focusing on what you have right now.

2. Happiness is in the future. Not true. Right here and now you are happy and you do not know it, because your false beliefs and perceptions have got you cought up in fears, anxieties, attachments, conflicts, guilt, etc. If you can see through this you will realize that you are already happy and do not know it.

3. Happiness will come if you manage to change the situation you are in and the people around you. Not true. You lose so much energy trying to change the world. What makes you happy or unhappy is not the world and the people around you, but the thinking in your head. If you want happiness, stop wast-ing time trying to change your body, residence or job, because even if you changed each of these things, had the best looks, and most charming personality and pleasant home, you could still be unhappy. Deep down you know this is true, but you still try to get what you know will not make you happy.

4. If all your desires are fulfilled, you will be happy. Not true. In fact it is the very desires and attachments that make you tense, frustrated, nervous, insecure and fearful. Make a list of your desires and to each of them say these words: Deep down in my heart I know that even when I have got you I will not get happiness..The fulfillment of desires can at the most bring flashes of pleasure and excitement, but don’ t mistake that for happiness.So, what then is happiness?Very few people know and noone can tell you, because happiness cannot be described. Can you describe light to people who have been sitting in darkness all their lives?Can you describe reality to someone in a dream? Understand your darkness and it will vanish, then you will know what light is. Understand your nightmare for what it is and it will stop, then you will wake up to reality. Understand your false beliefs and they will drop, then you will know the taste of happiness. If you wish to have lasting happiness you must not renounce the wordly things or give them up vio-lently, but you must see them for the nightmare that they are, and then, if you keep them or not, they will have lost their grip over you, their power to hurt you, and you will be out odf your darkness and unhap-piness. So, spend some time seeing each of the things you cling to, see it for the nightmare that causes you ex-citement and pleasure on one hand, but also worry, anxiety, tension, insecurity and unhappiness. unhappiness. When you really see this, you will stop clinging and these things will no longer have power over you. Then you will experience that misterious state of abiding happiness and peace and you will understand that everyone who stops clinging to father, mother, children, land , houses... is repaid a thousand times and gains eternal now moment of happiness and fulfilled life.Who is responsible for your programming?Your parents, society, culture, religious background, your own past experiences....They all fed your computer, and now wherever you go, you take your computer along with you, it is oper-ating at each moment of your day, demanding that its demands be met by life, by people and by you.

If the demands are met, you are peaceful and happy, if they are not met, the computer generates negative emotions and you suffer. For example: when people do not live up to your computer’s expectations, you are angry, frustrated, bitter.Or: when thibngs are not under your control and future is uncertain, you experience anxiety, tension, worry. Then you waste a lot of energy trying to cope with these negative emotions, and then you spend more energy trying to rearange the world around you, so that the demands of your computer will be met. And so you live a pathetic existence, at the mercy of people and things, trying constantly to make them conform to your computer’s demands, so that you can enjoy some moments of peace. Is there a way out of this ? Yes. You are not going to be able to change your programming, and the good news is that you don’t even have to. Try this instead:Imagine you are in a situation or with a person you find unpleasant, observe your computer becoming active, insisting that you avoid this person or situatuion, and if you continue to stay there and refuse to change the situation, observe how the computer insists you experience irritation, anxiety, guilt, etc. Keep looking at this unpleasant situation or person until you realize that it isn’t they who are causing this negative emotion. They are just going their way, doing whatever they are doing, good or bad, it is your computer that insists you must react in a negative way. You will see this better if you realize that someone with a different programming faced with the same situation or person would react calmly, even happily.The only reason you are not reacting calmly and happily is your computer that is stubbornly insisting that reality be reshaped to conform to its programming. Observe all this from the outside of you and see the change that happens in you. Once you understand this and stop your computer generating negative emotion, you may then take any action you want. You may avoid the situation or insist on your rights, or even resort to force, but first get rid of your emotional upset, because then any action you do take, will come from peace and love, and not neurotic desire to appease your computer. Real opression comes not from people around you, but from your computer whose programming destroys your peace of mind the moment outside circumstances fail to conform to its demands. Understand this and you are free ! - to be continued.....