Relationship Analysis Presentation

Ethan P Duran

Description of how we met and where we are today. I met my girlfriend Brianna, over this school dating website. When I

saw that she went to USM I started talking to her because the profile picture looked cute and it sparked my interest. At the time she was the only one online who was able to chat so daringly I started chatting with her. She responded back and we chatted for 2 days before we first met.

The first date that we went on was to Thatcher's in South Portland that Monday night. I was nervous because it was a blind date but she felt the same way.

After that first night I thought that she will be a girl who I am going to be with for a longtime because I was 23 years old going on 24 and I felt that this should be the last one. That was my mind set going in to this relationship.

We have been dating now for five months and it has like every relationship has it ups and downs.

I am going to present and describe about some concepts that I have encountered in this relationship.

Verbal Messages

When we first met at Thatcher's we were nervous but we talked to each other. We played pool and we just had small talk.

Once the date got going we started to have more in-depth conversations about more meaningful matters.

There were words that she used that meant different to show meaning to another word.

While the date was going on as I remember she used that the book calls direct verbal style. Brianna is the type of person to tell you what is really going on in her mind. She does not use any ambiguous terms.

Nonverbal Messages

On our first date we talked about if we were going to kiss each other or not. Well we did but it was not at the end of the date where I planed on kissing her. It was in the middle of the date when we were playing pool and after one game she swiped her arm around my hip and gripped me and kissed me.

I did not know how to react because I was caught off guard. Here I was planning it to be at the end of the date but she sprung this on me in the middle.

This showed non verbal because there was some body language that indicated the she wanted to be kissed and that she wanted some sort of touch.

Brianna was also showing to kinesis because she was looking at me and making me think. The way that she moved and looked at me she wanted me to kiss her. She was allowing me to study her body language. This is known as kinesics.

On this first date there was a lot of eye contact because both of us wanted to look at each other and wanted to see how it could end up as in if there was going to be a second date. So there was a lot of eye contact.

Non Verbal Messages

As the date went on she and I were having fun playing pool and just enjoying our first date.

There was some non verbal's the we both used on this first date. Some of them are:

Facial expression

Gestures

Posture

Touch

Body orientation

I am now going to go through some of these and tell you how Brianna and I used these key concepts on our first date.

Non Verbal:Facial Expression

On our first date both her and I used facial expression to feel one another out. I could tell from the feeling on my face and the look on her face that it was going well and that there was going to be a second date.

When I looked at her facial expression she was smiling and she was having some fun beating me in some games of pool.

Every muscle in her face lit up because it seemed that she was happy to be beating me in a game of pool.

Her face at the end of the night said it all she took a picture of us and she was smiling and so was I.

Non Verbal:Gestures

There were some gestures that she used to get me to come to her after our first kiss to kiss me more. She used the her finger and pointed at me to come over and give her a quick kiss.

When she touched my hip that was also a gesture because it involved her hand and it suggested that she wanted me to do something.

Non Verbal:Posture

At the beginning of our date both our postures were not up to par. We did not really get close to each other because we were still feeling one another out as in the space.

When we started playing pool that all changed because we then had to be close to one another. What I noted was that she was not the type of person to slouched because she held her self in a proper manner and so did I. It was all about the first impression.

Non Verbal:Touch

On our date after we kissed the whole touch rule was not in effect anymore. What I mean by this was that I held her hand after that and we cuddled on the couch.

Once that we made contact with one another the gates were open.

When I reached for her had to hold it it showed that I was there for her and to protect her from other men who were in the bar. This also showed her that I was inserted in her and no one else that was in the bar.

What did got from me holding her had was safety and it told her that she is mine.

Non Verbal:Body Orientation

There was a lot more of the body orientation as the night went on. As the night went on we talked and our bodies were now close to one another and we felt comfortable being close to each other.

When we were sitting on the couch watching TV at the bar and talking I felt that I was to close so I asked Brianna and she replied by say no you not.

This made me at ease to know that she was fine with cuddling and talking on our first date.

Non Verbal:Paralanguage

Brianna loves to talk and talk a lot. She comes from a large Italian family and he is the youngest.

When Brianna takes she uses all of paralangage concepts that we have read in the book .For some examples Brianna uses:

Paralanguage

Pitch

Volume

Rate

Quality

Bri uses all of these when the talks.

For some examples sometimes she uses rate and volume and rate and quality all at the same time.

I find that she uses volume when she starts to get upset about something but this is common to all people.

Chapter 6:Communication in the Life Cycle of Relationships

Brianna and I have been dating for a five months now and I feel like as a couple we are at a good point because we have been through a lot together.

When reading chapter 6 about communicating in a relationship I felt that all that was in the chapter applied to our relationship.

I will just go over a few concepts that are highlighted in chapter 6.

Chapter 6:The Functions of Communication in a Relationship:

When looking back at the last five months with Brianna and reviewing the key concepts in chapter 6 I feel like some of this can and probably already have been applied to our relationship. These might include:

Constitutive function-we talk and share what is going on with one another and this is what makes us a strong couple

Instrumental function-As I said in the above slide I would like this to be my last relationship with a girl and she feels the same way that he wants to get married. That is a personal goal of mine but I told her to hold off on that until we are older.

Indexical function-in a relationship I tend to take the weaker control to allow the women to have some of the power but I tend to let the relationship have equal power depending on what is going on. We do trust each other because we love each other and we have both been cheated on in our pervious relationships, so we know how it feels.

Chapter 6:Describing Relationships The relationship between Brianna and I is known as a

romantic relationship.

We have our own friends that we introduced to one another.

Some relationships that we have in our relationships are:

Voluntary relationship-Briannas ‘best friend passed away a few months ago and left behind a 5 year old son. I visit him when I am with Bri because I like to allow him to see and play with him.

Involuntary relationship-Brianna has this friend who I don’t like and have want to be around but I don’t have enough courage to tell her because I feel like it will effect our relationship.

Acquaintances-Brianna’s friend has a 1 year old kid at the age of 19 and the father of the friends baby is a person who I don’t see a lot and I only know him as the father of her friends baby.

Friends- Bri and I have friends that help us when we are down and out and happy for us when some thing fun happends.

Chapter 9-Supporting Others,13-Comminicating in Intimate Relationships I am going to pull the most important concepts that comes from these

chapters that I have seen in my relationship with Brianna.

In chapter 9 Supporting Others

Empathy

Perspective taking

Supportive messages

Supportive interaction

I had to use all of these when her best friend passed away of a drug overdose. I supports Bri the best way that I could. I was there for her and she really appreciated it. I supported her through one of her toughest times and she was thankful for that.

In chapter 13

Emotional disclosures- There are things that we tell each other that no one else knows

Warm feeling-Every time I see Bri I get this feeling that makes me happy and I get that feeling every time

Mutual understanding-When we talk we understand the other persons view points and respect them.

Overall I think that we get along well and if something does happen we talk about it and figure it out as we go.

Evaluation of my Relationship

I think that this relationship with Brianna is healthy because when every we have a problem we figure it out and move on. I know that have not been dating that long. I want this relationship to work and hopefully I will end up marrying her because I feel that strong about how our relationship.

What I have learned by doing this relationship presentation is that I now see all the concepts that the book talked about. People do what is book says everyday but people don’t really think about it while they are doing it.

I learned a lot by reading this book and hopefully learned these concepts will help me make this relationship better.

Evaluation of my Relationship II

I do think that I might be able to engage in meta-communication to help me improve my relationship. I live at home with my mom and I talk to her every night about that Brianna and I are going through and my mom gives me pointers and I use them to help me make the relationship better between my mom and I and Bri and I.

I think that every single chapter in the book but the last one helps my relationship with Brianna because like I said in the last slide people do all of these concepts but don’t realize it until you read this book.

Some areas that need work o my behalf is that I need to tell Brianna that I don’t like going to her friends house but I don’t know how she is going to react to that.

I plan to address these areas when the time is right and hopefully she wont get mad at me.

Overall this relationship with Brianna is going well and I would like to keep her around.

Just some pictures of us.1.Tony(Brianna’s friend’s Son) and I at movies2.Brianna and I at Italian festival 3.Brianna and I on Booze Cruise4.Brianna and I at my house,24th birthday party