relationships: different temperaments difﬁculties in relating pres.pdf · relationships:...

Relationships: Different temperaments

& Difficulties in relating

Boston - April 2009

Martedì, 5 maggio 2009

We have studied how every homeopathic remedy can be an anthropological model of major themes faced by human existence:

The world of sensations and pains

The world of instincts

The world of emotions

The different steps of the personal development

The importance of the integration of the corpus

The big vital functions

The process of individualizationMartedì, 5 maggio 2009

In this seminar we will talk about the same

developmental path from the perspective of

relationships


Every human being has to confront the world around him.Depending on the environment,

he will relate in a constructive/destructive

or harmonic/dis-harmonic way.


All humans establish effective relationships; they can be mature, equitable or pathological depending

whether they are....submissive or power oriented

fusional or avoidant

egocentric or oblative

...


Relational problems are not merely symptoms to be treated.

They represent an important “key” to the function of every system of the person - of his resources and

his vulnerabilities.


The evolution of the relational process is one of the most

important aspects of the process of the re-organization of the

person, much more than the simple

disappearance of some symptoms.


“The man discovers in the world only what is already inside of him,

but he needs the world to discover what is inside of him”

Hugo von Hoffmannsthal


Everybody projects around himself aspects of the organization of his

interior space.But those models become what

they are through the relationship with the external world.


Our mind creates our own habitat

and in the meantime our

habitat molds our mind


If we don’t recognize this complexity, or if we try to

eliminate it, different forms of reductionism could take place

(organically and psychologically)


COMPLEXITY relates to a co-existence of heterogeneous

elements. This means the possibility of dissonance and conflict existing

together with a series of defensive and compensatory strategies.

Our system tries to keep those unavoidable disharmonious elements

within tolerable boundaries.


From the homeopathic perspective it makes sense to underline those aspects

ONLY when the relational problems

are really fundamental themes of the remedy


EVERY remedy has its own relational aspects

BUT this is not always significant enough to contribute to a more accurate differential

diagnosisMartedì, 5 maggio 2009

... it means that a competent homeopathic doctor,

after serious training ...Could imagine, through certain behavioral elements, the quality of the relationship of his patient

or ... through the understanding of deeper difficulties ... could imagine the possible relational problems of his patient


... which means ...

A real medicine of complexity

To try to treat some problems BEFORE they could become really serious

To open the understanding of remedies from various perspectives: organic, psychological, relational ...


whenever we deal with relational themes like:Jealousy

Forsaken

Autism

Power

...


... we ALWAYS deal with different aspects of the same basic huge theme belonging to everybody

THE NECESSITY AND THE QUALITY OF THE RELATIONSHIPS


according to the kind and quality of the relationships we can

consider:Dependence or Independence

Attachment or Detachment

Bond or Distance

Presence or Avoidance

...


DEPENDENCE

The need to be always supported. A compulsory support from someone, something ...

According to human nature we ARE dependent, especially in the extreme moments of our life ...


According to Fairbank there is

a “mature” or an “immature”

dependency


Dependency and Addiction

Dependence can be physiological or pathological, according to how mature is the relationship

Addiction is a slavery


Which rubrics?Which remedies?

Which homeopathic families?Which state of compensation?What kind of dependency?


Basic dependency (primary needs)

Adhesive dependency (insecurity and constant seeking for confirmation, unable to detach from his partner)

Dependency from groups, house, family, structures ...

D. Narcissistic (claiming for love and/or appreciation)

D. Functional (seeking for protection)

D. Anxious (fear of loosing the endorsement)

D. Guilty (b/c of his real or imaginary parasitism)

D. Ambivalent


Dependency with serious conflicts (constant criticism, unsatisfactory)

D. Anguish (trying to escape from it)

D. Passive (arriving to masochism, fear of being active)

D. Apathetic (paralyzed and dependent)

D. Parasitic

D. Panic

...


A big thematic area:Support

Can be seen in EVERY remedy, more or less.

Important to understand WHICH kind of support.


SupportEnormous importance of the acceptance during uterine life

After birth it’s better to consider the parental FUNCTIONS and not the historical mother and father

Extremely important HOW those functions can be developed inside every person and how they support him during his development

During life the support is not only limited to those functions but also to ...

A lack as well as excessive support can be problematic


Empathic SupportRespecting who is supported, recognizing his peculiarity and his complexity.

It’s a mutual exchange, a real relationship, a big sense of freedom.

It’s based on the REAL needs of the supported, it’s not overcoming his personality.

It gives the necessary help to overcome the critical moments and it activates the resources, the awareness and the self confidence of the supported.


or ... inadequate support like ...

Lack of containment (difficulties in containing the anxieties or the fears of the child; difficulties in offering the right tools to overcome the unavoidable frustrations of life; difficult sense of limits)

Overprotection (suffocative protection which does not help the child in develop his own tools to face life)

Parents’ Narcissism (excess of stimuli and/or expectations; the child as a narcissistic object ...)

Excessive attachment (fusional states ...)


usually disease provokes withdrawal from relational investments and requires a greater need of support


As every moment of crisis a disease allows the peculiar modalities of support to emerge more clearly.

This is the reason why, as homeopaths, we give so much

attention to our patients’ behavior.


It’s extremely important to understand which kind of

patient-doctor relationship is requested.

Not only for a better management of the case but also

for a better understanding of the patient/remedy.


In the moment that we go beyond the technical, and offer a supportive relationship, different subconscious relational issues are activated. Often the patient feels

that is “looked upon” through the ancient code of his life.


It’s extremely important to remember that our patients, especially the children, are

always part of a system. Our work, as homeopaths, is always interfering with this system and we often have to consider the strong resistances to “changes”.


A fundamental aspect of homeopathic medicine is the understanding that

existential suffering is not less important than “organic disease.”

This suffering can be as destructive, for the patient as for the society, and it deserves a serious attention from the medical class, not only from the

psychiatrists.


A very actual and interesting issue is recognizing that there are deep

relationships between the development of the “self” and

somatic diseases.This is the basis of a real

psycho-somatic and integrated medicine.


Defensive strategies and relational avoidance


... how to avoid a relationship ... Destruction or annihilate “the other”

Being present, but with no contact: coldness unaffectionate.

Escape, hide, not being present, becoming “immaterial”

Altered perceptions of time/space

Hyperactivity, Busy, Workaholism, Hurry

Superficial contacts, Multiple contacts

Silence or excessive loquacity


... how to avoid a relationship ... Childishness or Immaturity

Affectation, Haughtiness

Materialism

Timidity, self-devaluation

Becoming less interesting, distasteful, stinking

Obesity or underweight

Sexual difficulties

Cerebral decay

AngerMartedì, 5 maggio 2009

Attachment and Alexitimia


Schizophysiology (McLean)as a lack of integration between

the cognitive representation of the attachment figure and the related

emotions

When the attachment figure is unable to communicate emotions

When the child is obliged to limit the expression of his emotions or to repress “inconvenient” emotions


When the attachment figure is unable to communicate emotions

The “mother” usually propounds a model of herself which is mainly “cognitive”, limiting the possibility of existing, or just diminishing the importance, of a domain of emotions


When the child is obliged to limit the expression of his emotions or to repress “inconvenient” emotions

we can make the hypothesis that the insecurity patterns of the child has to adopt mental strategies that limit the natural expression of emotions


... for example ...

a child who is systematically refused would feel a deep sadness. So he could try not to be attached, which is almost impossible, or repress his sadness.

or he could limit the expression of his anger, in order to appear lovable and to be abandoned.


Autism


Autism (Bleuler and Kanner - curled into himself)

Self sufficient

Happy if left alone

As if in a shell

Lack of relational reaction

Echolalia (“you” instead of “me” ...)

Obsession that something could change in the environment

Isolated special abilities


According to Asperger

Fluent talking

Difficulties in gross movement instead of fine

Ability to learn in a abstract way instead of mechanical


According to psychodynamic theories (Bettelheim)

the child feels a mother’s “desire” to annihilate him

or that it could be better if he had never existed

or a more general sense of total annihilation from the world around him

autism could be seen as a defensive strategy to this


Later on was presened an organic approach (Goldstein -

as a secondary defensive strategy, caused by an organic deficit

trying to save himself from unendurable anguish


then a cognitive model ... (Frith)

inability to understand the thoughts of others


Wing and Gould discovered 3 categories

Aloof (isolated)

Passive (in their relationship with the external world)

Odd (socially active but incongruent and bizarre)


the symptoms ...Verbal and not verbal communication (echolalia - 70% are mentally retarded)

Social interaction (emotional indifference, hyperexcitability, difficult visual contact, difficulties in respecting their turn in a conversation ... sometimes as if they have hearing problems ...)

Imagination (poor repertory of interests, stereotypical behavior, abstraction from reality)

Order (phobic)


Often those symptoms change during the development of the child.Often those symptoms hide a good intelligence or even extraordinary abilities.

In the last 50 years the concept of autism changed a lot: from a unique syndrome to a series of symptoms pointing to different problems.


Before it was classified as a precocious psychosis.Now it is part of the

developmental problems with an organic component.


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