resource guide - metroland media...

CAREGI ER

Coping as a family Caregiver

+lainey lui’s profile

+

ResouRce guide

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LETUSHELP

CAREGIVER RESOURCE GUIDE 2019 3

PublisherDana Robbins

General ManagerJohn Willems

Regional Director of AdvertisingAnne Beswick

Manager of Strategic Partnerships

Ronit White

Regional Director of Creative ServicesKatherine Porcheron

Graphic DesignerMeera Patel

Nicolette Blazenko

The 2019 Caregiver Resource Guide is a specialty magazine

published by Metroland Media.

Copyright 2019. All rights reserved.

Any reproduction of this publication in whole or in part must be approved by the publisher.

For further information regarding all our products, please call us at 416-493-4400.

Mailing Address:

StarMetroland Media Toronto 175 Gordon Baker Rd. Toronto, ON M2H 0A2

Contents

brought to you by

ResouRce guide

Words of Support ....................................................... 5

5 Tips for Family Caregivers ....................................... 6

Nutrition Tips for Caregivers...................................... 8

Recipe: Broccoli and Cheese Muffins ............................. 9

Care for Cancer........................... ............................... 10

Recipe: Tuna and Tomato Salad................................. 11

Caring for an Elderly Relative at Home..................... 12

Recipe: Fresh Avocado & Bean Lettue Wrap............. 14

Profile: Lainey Lui......................................................... 16

Balancing Work and Caregiving................................ 20

Preventing Caregiver Stress........................................ 22

A Moving Experience................................................. 25

Resource Listings ...................................................... 26

Table ofCAREGI ER

Serving Toronto and York Regions [email protected] www.mosaichomecare.comwww.janesgtacafe.ca

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2900 Steeles Avenue East, Suite 218Markham, ON L3T 4X1Tel 905.597.7000 Fax 905.597.5446

Toronto OfficeCNIB Centre

1929 Bayview Avenue, Suite 215HToronto, ON M4G 3E8Tel 416.322.7002

Person Centered, Community Integrated Home Carefor Persons of “Being, Meaning and Community”

Come to the Caregiver Show on April 27th, 2019 and visit our booth to meet our Mosaic’s PersonCentered Care Team.

MOSAIC’S MODEL OF CARE IS:Community integrated: its resource centres provide fun, educational events and information for all.Person centered: assessment of personal support needs, care planning and high level continuingoversight of care and care standards. We personally introduce caregivers and pay home visits tocheck up on you.Personhood focused: The Meaning of Me® has three layers of service; one designed to create a lensof communication that addresses the person; another that develops interests and activities with afocus on creative space and personal growth; opportunities for wider community interaction.We collaborate with both for profit and not for profit entities and are supportive of the World

Health Organisation’s vision of Healthy Aging and Age-Friendly Cities.

CommunityResourceCentres

Nursing

Mosaic’sElder

Care Plus®

TheMeaningof Me®

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Companions®

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Gold Medalof the European Society ForPerson Centered Healthcare


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Being a family caregiver is a balancing act. Today, almost eight million Canadians balance their work and personal commitments with caregiving duties for their children, parents, and friends on a regular basis.

While it can feel like walking a tightrope, the compassion, understanding and efforts of family caregivers enable loved ones with acute or chronic health issues to live with dignity.

We created the Caregiver Show (now in its sixth year!) to recognize all that you do as caregivers. We have great

respect for the role you play and hope you will use this day to learn about the resources, services and products available to aid in your caregiving needs and have the opportunity to connect and form bonds with other caregivers – building your own networking group.

The Caregiver Resource Guide is filled with articles offering help and advice especially for caregivers, as well as resources you may find beneficial in the future. Please take this guide home with you and keep it handy; we created it with your busy schedule in mind.

Thank you for participating in the Caregiver Show. I welcome your feedback and can be reached anytime at [email protected]

I wish you all the best in your caregiving journey.

Ronit White,

Manager of Strategic Partnerships

Words ofSupport

There are only four kinds of people in this world: those who

have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers,

those who will be caregivers and those who will need caregivers. — Rosalynn Carter, Former First

Lady of the United States

CAREGIVER RESOURCE GUIDE 20196

Whether you’re new to caregiving or a seasoned caregiver, these five tips can help you feel supported, organized and keep your own health top of mind.

1) Get Support Family caregiving can take its toll on caregivers – mentally, physically and emotionally. You do not have to do it alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or accept someone’s offer to help. Keep a running list on your phone or close to you so you can pass along a task to helping hands.There are numerous resources and communities available you can utilize for support and inspiration.

2) Take Care of Your Health In order to care for others, you should first care for yourself. Staying healthy can actually help relieve stress that caregiving could cause. Exercising 30 minutes per day is recommended, but if that’s not possible, any physical movement is better than none. Eat healthy to maintain your energy and fuel your body. Keep fruits and veggies on hand for snacks, drink plenty of water and don’t skip meals.

3) Polish your Communication Skills The primary family caregiver typically knows the ins and outs, routines and nuances of a loved one’s care. Communicating these and other needs with other family members can be challenging. The 50/50 Rule® offers adult children resources to improve communication, develop teamwork and make decisions

together while dividing the workload in caring for aging parents.

4) Organize Important Documents Caring for a loved one requires caregivers to understand and likely manage another person’s financial, legal and medical affairs. Having all these important documents in one place can help alleviate any unnecessary stress when the documents are needed.

Caregiver Action Network has a helpful list of important documents including wills, insurance policies, medical records, retirement accounts and more that you can reference to start organizing. These downloadable documents can help you get started collecting your loved one’s records and information.

Three happiness hacks: enjoying nature, keeping

a gratitude journal and putting your cell phone

down may help increase your happiness.

Caregivers5 Tips for Family

– caregiverstress.com

5) Practice Positive Self Talk and Gratitude Inspiring self-care starts with you. Keeping a positive attitude about the caregiving situation you’re in can help you be more optimistic and look for the good that surrounds you. Sometimes a little perspective reminds caregivers there is a lot to be grateful for.

It’s time to embrace a new chapter in your life. In a special place that’s comfortable and convenient. Where you’refree to do the things you love and spend time with the people who matter. It’s time to experience a carefree lifestylewhere everything is taken care of, leaving you to simply enjoy life. Join a fitness class, explore your creative side, strollcreekside with an old friend or make some new ones. All in a luxurious, yet affordable setting.Welcome to Phase Twoof Trinity Ravine Towers. Beautiful, true ownership suites in the heart of the city.

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THE LIFESTYLETHAT KEEPS ON GIVING


for CaregiversNutrition T ips

Whether you are a main caregiver or a friend looking to offer some help, cooking healthy meals is a great way to support someone. Keeping the person you care for well-nourished can help improve their strength and well-being, help them fight off infection and prevent malnutrition.

Save Time. The next time you cook, try to prepare larger batches of meals and then freeze individual portions in glass containers. Stocking your freezer with pre-made meals means you will have more nutritious meals that are ready to go and are less expensive than store-bought versions. Remember to label the your food with the date that you freeze it.

Taste Changes. When you’re cooking a large number of servings of a recipe, keep the recipe plain. When you’re ready to eat, encourage your loved one to add sauces, herbs and other flavours to each individual portion. If your loved one goes through taste changes or

has a low appetite, they can adjust the flavours at a given meal to meet their needs. It can help to add an opposite flavour to balance out the taste change. For example, if food tastes too sweet, add a salty flavour or sauce to that food.

Take Care of Yourself. Caregivers spend so much time and energy caring for others, but you need to remember to take care of yourself too. Plan ahead so you can make healthy meals for you and your loved one, and avoid eating take out or other less healthy options on the run.

Healthy eating is important to keep your strength up to help you better manage the challenges of being a caregiver.

Large Appetites or Wanting to Avoid Gaining Weight. Be sure that you and your loved one eat 3 balanced meals a day. Skipping meals will increase the intensity of hunger levels later on, which can

often lead to overeating. Try preparing meals that are half vegetables, ¼ whole grains and ¼ lean proteins such as fish, chicken or turkey breast without the skin, or beans and legumes Include foods that are high in fibre, such as vegetables, fruits, legumes, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. Fibre helps us feel satisfied and full for longer. A small amount of heart-healthy fat such as olive oil, avocado or nuts is important to make meals more satisfying and to absorb certain nutrients. Try to limit added fats to 2 tablespoons each day.

Small Appetites or Want to Stop Losing Weight. Spread the food out into 5-6 smaller meals in the day. High fibre foods can be too filling for people with small appetites. Choose foods that are easy to digest and lower in fibre, such as mashed potatoes, oatmeal, smoothies, fruits without seeds and skins, ground meats, tofu, nut butters, and milk or soy milk.– uhn.ca


• 250mL(1cup)allpurposeflourwithaddedbranorwholewheatflour

• 125mL(1/2cup)finecornmeal• 75mL(1/3cup)wheatgerm• 5mL(1tsp)bakingpowder• 5mL(1tsp)bakingsoda• 250mL(1cup)0%fatplainGreekyogurt• 75mL(1/3cup)skimmilk• 1egg• 30mL(2tbsp)canolaoil• 250mL(1cup)choppedbroccoliflorets• 175mL(3/4cup)shreddedlightoldCheddarcheese

Ingredients

1In a large bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, wheat germ, baking powder and baking soda;

set aside.

2In another bowl, whisk together yogurt, milk, egg and oil. Pour over flour mixture and stir

to combine. Stir in broccoli and cheese. (Batter will be thick.)

3Lightly spray or paper-line 10 muffin cups. Scoop batter into each and bake in preheated

200°C (400°F) oven for about 12 minutes or until golden and firm to the touch. Let cool slightly before removing from pan.

Directions

Savoury broccoli and cheese muffinsThis must-try recipe is perfect for breakfast on the run. A soon-to-be favourite, these muffins can do double duty as lunch, as a nice change from sandwiches.

Ingredients

• 250 mL (1 cup) all purpose flour with

added bran or whole wheat flour

• 125 mL (1/2 cup) fine cornmeal

• 75 mL (1/3 cup) wheat germ

• 5 mL (1 tsp) baking powder

• 5 mL (1 tsp) baking soda

• 250 mL (1 cup) 0% fat plain Greek yogurt

• 75 mL (1/3 cup) skim milk

• 1 egg

• 30 mL (2 tbsp) canola oil

• 250 mL (1 cup) chopped broccoli florets

• 175 mL (3/4 cup) shredded light old Cheddar cheese

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine flour, cornmeal, wheat germ, baking powder and

baking soda; set aside.

2. In another bowl, whisk together yogurt, milk, egg and oil. Pour over flour mixture

and stir to combine. Stir in broccoli and cheese. (Batter will be thick.)

3. Lightly spray or paper-line 10 muffin cups. Scoop batter into each and bake in

preheated 200°C (400°F) oven for about 12 minutes or until golden and firm to

the touch. Let cool slightly before removing from pan.

PREP TIME COOK TIME SERVINGS

10 min 12 min 10 muffins

Tips

Little chefs can help mix the dry

ingredients, the wet ingredients

and then scoop the batter into the

muffin cups.

Out of fresh broccoli? Use frozen,

thawed broccoli in a pinch.

Try your favourite vegetable and

cheese combination instead of

broccoli and Cheddar. How about

cauliflower and Asiago?

Make a double batch and keep

some of these muffins for later.

Cool muffins, and wrap individually

in plastic wrap. Store in airtight

container in fridge for up to 3 days

or in freezer for up to 2 weeks.

Warm in microwave before serving.

Try using less of the ingredients

that are high in added sodium,

sugars or saturated fat. Adding

salt or sugars directly to your

recipe? Remember, a little often

goes a long way.

Recipe developed by Emily Richards, P.H. EC for the Heart and Stroke Foundation.

Reproduced with permission from the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.

™ The heart and / Icon on its own and the heart and / Icon followed

by another icon or words are trademarks of the Heart and Stroke

Foundation of Canada used under license.

Kid-friendly Freezer-friendly30 mins or lessVegetarian

This must-try recipe is perfect for breakfast on the run. A soon-to-be favourite,

these muffins can do double duty

as lunch, as a nice change from

sandwiches.


Ingredients• 250 mL (1 cup) all purpose flour with added bran or whole wheat flour







• 1 egg




Directions








PREP TIME COOK TIME SERVINGS10 min 12 min 10 muffins

Tips

Little chefs can help mix the dry ingredients, the wet ingredients and then scoop the batter into the muffin cups.

Out of fresh broccoli? Use frozen, thawed broccoli in a pinch.

Try your favourite vegetable and cheese combination instead of broccoli and Cheddar. How about cauliflower and Asiago?

Make a double batch and keep some of these muffins for later. Cool muffins, and wrap individually in plastic wrap. Store in airtight container in fridge for up to 3 days or in freezer for up to 2 weeks. Warm in microwave before serving.

Try using less of the ingredients that are high in added sodium, sugars or saturated fat. Adding salt or sugars directly to your recipe? Remember, a little often goes a long way.

Recipe developed by Emily Richards, P.H. EC for the Heart and Stroke Foundation. Reproduced with permission from the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada.

™ The heart and / Icon on its own and the heart and / Icon followed by another icon or words are trademarks of the Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada used under license.


prep time10 minutes

Cook time12 minutes









• 1 egg




Directions









Tips









servings10 muffins

– canada.ca

Ideas for Healthy Snacks

• Fruit that come in their own natural packaging (oranges, bananas, and plums)

• Keep cut up vegetables such as carrots, cucumbers, celery and peppers in the fridge and bring along in a reusable container

• Roasted chickpeas or nuts (almonds, cashews, soy nuts or peanuts)

grab ’n’ go

• Apples• Oatmeal• Nut butter• Canned fruit• Canned tuna• Plain popcorn• Whole grain crackers• Nuts, pumpkin or sunflower seeds

Make sure to keep snacks like lower fat yogurt or lower fat cheese in the fridge

or in a cooler bag with an ice pack!

Work & school

• Whole grain toast with nut butter and banana

• Lower fat cheese and whole grain crackers with cherry tomatoes

• Green leafy salad with orange sections and almonds

• whole grain crackers topped with lower fat cottage cheese and peach slices

• whole grain cereal with fruit slices and milk or unsweetened fortified plant-based beverage

at Home

– food-guide.canada.ca

Broccoli & cheese Muffins


communities of care for cancer patients and their loved ones

Fear, anxiety, helplessness and anger – these are feelings people can have when facing a cancer diagnosis or when learning a loved one has cancer. The words “you have cancer” can change the lives of patients and their loved ones in an instant and create questions and needs never before experienced.

If cancer has affected your life, you are not alone. 1 in 2 Canadian will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. On any given day, more than 800,000 Canadians are living with cancer and the worry, pain and fear it brings. So are their loved

ones, who comprise an even larger, but no less impacted, group of Canadians.

A t t h e C a n a d i a n Cancer Society, we know that knowledge a n d s u p p o r t a r e empowering. Through our information and support services we h e l p p e o p l e w i t h cancer and their family caregivers understand and cope with the emotional and practical stresses of living with the disease. We do this through programs and

compassionate communities of support, where patients and caregivers have access to each other, or to professionals, to share their experiences and receive much needed information, support and strength to deal with the many challenges.

Through our Peer Match program, we connect people with cancer and their family caregivers with trained volunteers who know what it’s like to live with cancer. These volunteers listen, offer encouragement and share ideas for coping. People who have used

this program in the past have told us that they felt less anxious, more hopeful and are better able to cope.

Our cancerconnection.ca online community provides a safe, convenient and supportive environment for caregivers and people living with cancer to connect and share their experiences with others who are living with similar worries and challenges.

Our Cancer Information Service provides a team of information specialists who provide current, reliable information on cancer – from prevention to diagnosis and treatment to life after cancer, in addition to connecting people to services in their communities.

The Canadian Cancer Society’s services are free and confidential, and many are available in multiple languages.

No one should face cancer alone. If you or a loved one is facing cancer, the Canadian Cancer Society can help. Call 1-888-939-3333 or visit cancer.ca to access our information and support services.

Laura Burnett is the Vice President of Cancer Information and Support Services. She holds university degrees in Nursing and Public Health and has almost 20 years experience working in the broader healthcare industry.

By Laura Burnett, BScN, MPH

No one should face cancer alone:


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• 1L(2pints)grapetomatoes,halvedlengthwise• 2stalkscelery,thinlysliced• 2cans(each120gdrainedweight)lightflakedtunainwater,drained

• 250mL(1cup)choppedcucumber• 45mL(3tbsp)redwinevinegar• 10mL(2tsp)extravirginoliveoil• 1clovegarlic,minced• Pinchhotpepperflakes• 75mL(1/3cup)choppedfreshbasil• 30mL(2tbsp)choppedfreshoregano

Ingredients

1In a large bowl, combine tomatoes, celery, and tuna, cucumber.

2In a small bowl, whisk together vinegar, oil, garlic and hot pepper flakes. Pour over

tomato mixture along with basil and oregano and toss to coat well.

– canada.ca

Directions

A perfect way to use tomatoes, this refreshing salad is versatile enough to enjoy for lunch, on a picnic, or dinner on the patio with family and friends. Serve over lettuce leaves for added colour and crunch.









• 1 egg




Directions









Tips









prep time5 minutes

Cook time0 minutes









• 1 egg




Directions









Tips









servings6

Tuna and Tomato salad


Decisions about providing care for an aging loved one are seldom easy. Various options exist in terms of elder care, including assisted living facilities and nursing homes. Seniors who are self-sufficient may be able to stay in a retirement community or active living building. In other instances, the best course of action is to have an elderly relative move in with family members.

Over 8 million Canadians over the age of 15 provided care to a chronically ill or disabled friend or loved one, according to a 2012 Statistics Canada study. Care is defined as helping with feeding, bathing, dressing, and other personal care needs, going beyond driving a parent to appointments or helping them with financial matters.

Taking care of a senior requires a profound commitment and can completely disrupt a person’s life, both at home and at work. Men and women faced with caring for an aging parent at home may want to employ several strategies to

make that transition go as smoothly as possible.

• Talk to the senior about your options . Making decisions together will be best for everyone involved. It can be challenging to discuss mortality and whether or not elderly parents or relatives can properly care for themselves. Broach the subject well in advance of making any plans so you will have some understanding of how the senior feels about

the situation and what would make him or her most comfortable. Your parents may already have a plan in place.

• Establish a caregiving budget. Caring for the elderly is expensive. Before a senior can be welcomed into your home, you must first determine which financial changes must be made to accommodate this person. Will a parent be contributing to a portion of the expenses or paying rent? Is it feasible for you to reduce hours at work to care for this individual? Once you have the numbers in black and white, you can better assess your situation.

• Make physical modifications. Your home may not be equipped and safe for an elderly resident. You may need to add a private space for your parent or relative, and install night lights, secured railings, grab bars, ramps, a shower chair, and anti-slip surfaces. You may need to build an extension on the home or completely renovate what you have to make the space safe.

• Aim for stability. Moving and changing routines can be especially stressful for seniors who are used to their own schedules and habits. Transfer furniture and mementos from their home into yours. Encourage seniors to maintain a social schedule and invite friends over. Try to help your loved one keep his or her doctors and, if possible, take them to shop where they have shopped in the past. These opportunities will make the transition to a new home easier.

• Discuss finances. It’s essential to understand your loved one’s financial situation. Make lists of his or her assets and any insurance policies in his or her name. Understand which health procedures are covered and discuss ways to finance any procedures or medications that are not covered by your loved one’s policy. Ask if your loved one wants you to manage his or her finances or when he or she may feel this is necessary. Professional help, such as an attorney, financial planner or a geriatric care manager, can make it easier to understand the legalities and subtleties of these arrangements.

• Make time for yourself. Caring for the elderly can seem like a full-time job, and it’s easy to forget yourself in the process. Make time for yourself so your own health is not sacrificed while you tend to your loved one.

– MS

for an Elderly Relative at Home

Caring

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• 1can(540mL/19oz)whitekidneybeans,drainedandrinsed

• 60mL(1/4cup)choppedreconstitutedsundriedtomatoes

• 60mL(1/4cup)choppedfreshparsley• 1clovegarlic,minced• 1avocado,diced• 1smallredbellpepper,diced• 15mL(1tbsp)cidervinegar• 1smallheadBostonleaflettuce• 1carrot,grated

Ingredients

1In a large bowl, using a potato masher or fork, mash beans until coarse. Stir in tomatoes, parsley,

garlic and ground pepper until well distributed. Gently fold in avocado, red bell pepper and vinegar.

2Spoon bean mixture into lettuce leaves and sprinkle with carrot to serve.

Directions

Creamy and colourful, these wraps come together in very little time. The crisp red bell peppers and lettuce add crunch. For an easy appetizer, prepare the bean filling spearately from the lettuce, and assemble just before you’re ready to eat!









• 1 egg




Directions









Tips









prep time10 minutes

Cook time0 minutes









• 1 egg




Directions









Tips









servings12 Wraps

Fresh Avocado and Bean Lettuce Wrap

– canada.ca

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Elaine Lui, famously known as Lainey, is a tour de force in the entertainment industry. She is a co-host on CTV’s daily talk show, The Social; a senior correspondent for Etalk ; and the founder, editor, and gossip connoisseur of LaineyGossip.com.

“I get a lot of life out of work; for me, work is life,” Lainey says. “I am a storyteller, and when you are lucky enough to be able to do that as a job, everything is interesting.”

With Lui’s demanding schedule, being an integral caregiver to her mom, Judy, in tandem with Bernard, her dad, is a challenge that is often worrisome, frustrating, and stressful.

Diagnosed at 60, Judy, now 70, has POEMS, an extremely rare condition that only a handful of people in Canada have been identified as having. A highly uncommon cancer of the white blood cells, POEMS is an acronym for the four main properties of the condition:

polyneuropathy (pain, tingling and numbness in the body), organomegaly (enlarged organs), endocrinopathy (hormonal abnormalities), monoclonal plasma cell proliferation (too many antibody-producing cells), and skin changes.

The first manifestation of Judy’s disease was a mini stroke, which resulted in an initial loss of sight. As the months progressed, Judy started losing weight, a pound at a time, until suddenly she had lost 25-30 lbs, and was experiencing numbness in her extremities.

“That is when we hospitalized her, as the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong,” Lui says. “Every day her movement was less and less. There was a loss of hand movement; and she was having skin issues. She said she felt like someone was ironing her skin.” By the time she had been in the hospital a week, Judy was unable to walk.

Photo by Dexter Chew Photography

Lui

ElaineaineyL By Cece M. Scott


A year and a half after the initial symptoms presented, Judy, who had been in the hospital for three months, finally received a diagnosis. During her subsequent eight month stay in St. Michael’s Hospital, she received radiation treatment, before being transferred to rehab for four months, in order to get her up and walking again. Her case is particularly complicated as Judy is diabetic and had a kidney transplant in 2002.

Lui recounts one of the many frightening experiences around her mom’s initial hospital stay. “I had a really important event for Etalk, which was happening in Barbados. I was due to leave in 48 hours. It was so hard to have mom in the hospital, not knowing what was wrong, but at the same time, I had a career that meant so much to me. This added a lot of mental health stress on both myself and mom, who also felt guilty about the situation. She told me to go, but at the same time, she was saying, it would be so nice if you stayed here,” Lui says.

The outcome of that crisis was, Jacek, Lui’s husband, flew out from Vancouver to stay with Judy.

Once Lui returned from Barbados, she stayed in Toronto for six weeks, while Jacek, who is a partner at LaineyGossip.com, returned home. “I would go and do my shoots with Etalk and then come back to the hospital,” Lui says. “It was really tough- we run a business together- which was difficult when we were so far apart. Jacek assumed all of the business and household responsibilities, which was also difficult for him as he couldn’t socialize or exercise.”

The couple returned to Toronto with their two Beagles, Elvis and Barney, for that summer, with Lui working from her mom’s hospital room.

Judy’s health improved and everything was fine for three years but the disease, for which there is no cure, returned in 2014. Judy was treated with chemo, followed by a stem cell transplant.

Earlier this year, Lui’s dad, who is 70, called to let Lui know that Judy was in the hospital with pneumonia. Two days later, Bernard slipped and busted open half of his face. For the next 12 days, Lui was either cooking for her mom, who does not eat hospital food, or bringing in food daily, while also getting Judy up and walking around.

“Caregiving is a big job, and when people talk about it, they think about the usual things,” Lui says. “They don’t think of the

other things involved, like how to keep the mind active. I always try to make sure mom has entertainment; that she has things that she can keep her mind busy with, instead of fixating on her condition. Mom is so sensitive to her symptoms that I swear she knows if a hair has fallen out. So part of my job is to be the entertainer

or at least give mom assignments that will occupy her.”

To that end, Lui gets her mom to make her special Chinese soups and dishes, which her parents then deliver to their daughter on the weekend.

Initially, Lui, who is also involved in making sure that both her parents get to their much needed medical appointments, was able to access some outside caregiver resources. However, since the return of the disease, appropriate help has been hard to find. “It is extremely difficult getting a therapist who speaks the language and has the right chemistry,” Lui says. “There are cultural issues, as well as Mom’s temperament-she is not the easiest person. Caregiving is a difficult thing to manage, and we have the resources. Imagine the challenge for people who don’t.”

Lui is able to allocate the time between her career and caregiving roles through her high level of discipline. “I work really hard Monday to Friday,” Lui says. “On weekends, I unplug and unwind. In the past few years, I have gotten militant about exercise. Having animals around really helps. I am also a prolific reader.”

For Judy, her life is the disease; it has become her full time job to worry about herself, which is a definite source of angst for the rest of her family.

“Her condition has changed her profoundly, and I feel that she has become less interesting and less interested in life,” Lui says. “I used to rely on mom’s advice. I just don’t think she is capable of giving it to me anymore; I miss that.”

As part of her wish list, Lui hopes that she will be successful in finding a caregiver for three hours a day, so that Bernard can get some relief from his daily caregiving, which at any age, is challenging, frustrating, and tiring.

In spite of it all, however, Lui says, “It is an honour to walk this journey with mom.”

Photo courtesy of Lainey Lui

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You have your job — the one with a paycheck. And then you have your caregiving responsibilities — helping someone who means the world to you.

Work can be rewarding in more ways than one. So can caregiving. But together, it’s a demanding

combination. You may feel like you’ve got more on your plate than you can handle on some days. You need a strategy.

These ideas may help you care for your loved one while keeping up your career.

DAy To DAy

• Get organized. You likely have a lot on your to-do list, so now isn’t the time to try to keep track of everything in your head. Create a family calendar so everyone knows what’s happening, and use it to track activities and doctor’s appointments. If possible, ask siblings to help out, and make a schedule that includes everyone.

• Read your employee handbook. Your company may have policies on caregivers, flexible work options, and family leave that applies to you. You may also have access to an employee assistance program, which can be a helpful resource.

• Keep work separate. As much as possible, try to take care of caregiving duties in your personal hours, rather than during work hours. Schedule calls and doctor’s appointments during your lunch hour, and do your research on your mom’s condition after you’ve gone home for the day.

TALk To youR MANAgER oR HR

• Have the conversation. If you’re caring for a loved one, it’s a significant part of your life, and your boss should probably have some idea. Making it known that you have an important commitment -- but that you’re making every effort to continue to put in 100% at work -- makes you look thoughtful and devoted to your job.

• Make it clear that work is still a priority. If you’re changing things at work, make sure your boss knows you have a plan for getting your work done. If you’re leaving early but will be back at your computer at 9 p.m., let her know.

It’s easier for your boss to be supportive if you’re still a productive member of the team.

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Caregiver StressCaregiver stress is due to the emotional and physical strain of caregiving. Caregivers report much higher levels of stress than people who are not caregivers. Many caregivers are providing help or are “on call” almost all day. Sometimes, this means there is little time for work or other family members or friends. Some caregivers may feel overwhelmed by the amount of care their aging, sick or disabled family member needs.

Remember that you need to take care of yourself to be able to care for your loved one. Taking steps to relieve caregiver stress helps prevent health problems. Also, taking care of yourself helps you take better care of your loved one and enjoy the rewards of caregiving.

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Learn ways to better help your loved one. Some hospitals offer classes that can teach you how to care for someone with an injury or illness. To find these classes, ask your doctor or call your local Area Agency on Aging.

find caregiving resources in your community to help you. Many communities have adult daycare services or respite services to give primary caregivers a break from their caregiving duties.

ask for and accept help. Make a list of ways others can help you. Let helpers choose what they would like to do. For instance, someone might sit with the person you care for while you do an errand. Someone else might pick up groceries for you.

Join a support group for caregivers. You can find a general caregiver support group or a group with caregivers who care for someone with the same illness or disability as your loved one. You can share stories, pick up caregiving tips, and get support from others who face the same challenges as you do.

get organized. Make to-do lists, and set a daily routine.

take time for yourself. Stay in touch with family and friends, and do things you enjoy with your loved ones.

take care of your health. Find time to be physically active on most days of the week, choose healthy foods, and get enough sleep.

see your doctor for regular checkups. Make sure to tell your doctor or nurse you are a caregiver. Also, tell them about any symptoms of depression or sickness you may have. - womenshealth.gov

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yourselfPamperThe daily grind can be exhausting. About 28 per cent of the population over the age of 15 provided care to family members or friends with long-term health conditions in 2012 and many reported health and psychological problems, like depression, because of the intensity of care provided.

In addition to taking on fewer responsibilities, engaging in some activities to promote a relaxed mind and body can help alleviate stress and tension. Though the term “pampering” may not appeal to everyone, a day of pampering might be just what you need to relieve stress and unwind.

• Get a full-body massage. Licensed massage therapists have the training

and knowledge to work the kinks out of your muscles and ease aches and pains. Massage therapy works tension out of the body and can help release feel-good endorphins. A massage can improve circulation and help reduce blood pressure. It’s difficult to walk out of a spa without feeling relaxed.

• Take a retreat. Schedule a trip to a resort or even a small hotel that is away from the hustle and bustle of where you live. Such a respite can provide a welcome change. New scenery and a chance to escape the daily grind can effectively relieve stress. Consider low-tech accommodations and turn your phone or tablet off for a few days.

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• Laugh with friends. Plan a friends’ night where you can go out for drinks and conversation or huddle around the television and watch your favourite comedy. Laughter is often a great medicine for stress, as is the company of other people who can provide some comic relief. –MS


MoVINgIt’s a

experience!Deciding to move involves change. Change can lead to an emotional and often overwhelming experience for you and the person you are caring for. Moving can often mean downsizing and letting go of the treasures you have collected over the years.

As a family caregiver, you’ve already got a lot on your plate! Here are FIVE tips to help you reduce the stress of an upcoming move:

1. CELEBRATE THE gooD TIMES!As you prepare for the move, you’re bound to discover things you had long-forgotten, like photographs from days gone by, favourite music, special knickknacks and vintage clothes. Take time to share some of these treasures and you may be surprised at the reactions you get as you celebrate the good times… together!

2. FAMILIARITy BREEDS CoNTENT It’s one of the Diva’s favourite sayings and the BEST reason to duplicate areas of your existing home in your new place. Recreate the “special nest” area - a place where your loved one feels most comfortable and relaxed. Incorporate as many aspects of the “nest” as you can – a cozy chair, the just-right table, a favourite lamp, the comfortable pillow, the box of Kleenex – in your new home. Get the idea? Your goal is to

create familiar spaces where everyone feels relaxed and at home… again!

3. kEEP DISTRACTIoNS To A MINIMuM

A huge part of any move preparation is the downsizing and packing. Minimize distractions for your loved one by

packing items inside cabinets, closets and

cupboards first. Out of sight really is out of mind. Keep the BIG picture constant for as long as you

can and the person you’re caring for will be less anxious about what’s going on.

4. gIVE ITEMS “SAFE PASSAgE” As you get ready for Move Day, you’ll probably find lots of treasures that won’t fit at the new place. Consider giving these surplus items “save passage” by sharing them with family or friends or donating them to charitable organizations so they get to people who will enjoy them as much as you did. Win-win!

5. CALL IN THE PRoS! If the last thing you want to do is add the stress of moving to your already busy “to-do” list, call in the Pros! Senior Move Managers recognize and manage the stress of relocating older adults and work with reputable moving companies to make the transition easier for you and your family. www.nasmm.org

As you prepare for a relocation, take things slowly. When you make up your mind to enjoy the process as much as the move, you can reduce the stress of the upcoming move for everyone involved.

We’ll leave you with the wisdom of Emily Dickinson…

Here’s to taking the first step…

Gail Shields and Karen Shinn are Move Managers Extraordinaire. Downsizing Diva - Downsizing and Moving Specialist for Seniors - is on a mission to make a positive difference in the lives of people who are in transition. Visit their website and subscribe to their monthly newsletter! www.downsizingdiva.com. Phone: 416-757-0319 Email: [email protected]

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— Emily Dickinson


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Family Service Association of TorontoProvides social work services to older people and caregivers. Their work includes counselling, group work, advocacy, training and educational sessions on a variety of topics such as aging and memory loss, anger and guilt, how to access community resources, abuse of older adults, etc. 416-595-9618 familyservicetoronto.org/our-services/programs-and-services/

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