Revising Sentences and WordsRevising sentences:

Make your sentencesConsistent with your toneEconomicalVaried in typeVaried in lengthEmphatic

• Tone- be sure that both what you say and how you say it support your essay’s tone

• Choose to be economical instead of wordy– Eliminate redundancy (not the same as dramatic

repetition)– Delete weak phrases– Delete roundabout openings (there is, it is, etc)– Remove excessive prepositional phrases– Remove unnecessary who, which, and that clauses

• Vary your sentence type– Simple (convey dramatic urgency)– Compound (may use a semi-colon occasionally)– Complex (the dependent clause is less important)

• Vary your sentence length– Too short can sound childish or may give a faster

pace to the piece– Long sentences slow down the pace

• Make sentences emphatic– Place key points at the beginning (or end)– Use parallelism– Use fragments (!!)- be cautious; be deliberate– Use inverted word order

Revising words• Make words consistent with your tone• Use an appropriate level of diction– Formal– Informal– Popular – Avoid jargon

• Avoid words that overstate or understate– Avoid euphemisms– Avoid doublespeak

• Select words with proper connotations– Denotation is the dictionary definition– Connotations are associated with sensations,

emotions, images, and ideas• Use specific words rather than general words– Ask which, how, what, where, in what way

• Use strong verbs– Replace being verbs with action verbs– Change passive voice to active voice– Replace weak verb-noun combinations

• Delete unnecessary adverbs• Use original figures of speech– Similes, metaphors, personification– Avoid clichés– Guard against illogical figures of speech

• Avoid sexist language– Be careful with pronoun/antecedent agreement

ASSIGNMENT: revise your work in progress, improving sentences and words