Rewriting

Douglas Perret Starr

Professor

Texas A&M University

• Writing is the beginning, not the end.

• You can’t just write; you must rewrite.

• And rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and rewrite . . . and, . . .

• Well, you get the idea, rewrite as many times as necessary to get it right.

• Quintilian, that sage old Greek, had the right idea.

• Before you copyedit what you write, set it aside for a few days.

• That way, much of what you have written days ago has slipped your mind.

• You will find plenty of errors because you are reading cold copy.

• Write to express, not to impress. • Writing a scholarly piece is not an

exercise in elegant variation. • Remember, a scholarly piece is a

description of what you studied and what you learned from that study.

• It’s your job to ensure that readers understand.

• Use plain language, plain words plainly crafted.

Confusion

• The results were in three parts:

• One third of the respondents completed the task in one hour; the next 33.3% finished in two hours; and the remaining group ended their assignment in three hours.

Period

• Use period with standard abbreviations: U.S., a.m., p.m., Vol., No.

• Use two-letter abbreviations for state names ― LA, TX, AZ, OK, etc. ― but no period with state abbreviations.

• No period with acronyms: NASA, APA, IQ.

• No period with scientific abbreviations, except for in. (inch).

En-Dash

• The en-dash ( – ) is a connector. It is the width of the capital N. No space before or after the en-dash.

• The en-dash joins numerals: 4–3 vote, 7–6 score, 2–1 odds.

• The en-dash joins nouns of equal weight: Bryan–College Station, Pierre–Henri, Mrs. Rizk–Finne.

• Form the en-dash: Ctrl minus (on keypad).

Ellipsis

• The ellipsis is formed with three spaced periods . . . space on each side.

• The ellipsis ( . . . ) signifies omission of words within a sentence.

• No ellipsis at the beginning or the ending of a sentence, unless needed for sense.

• Ellipsis between sentences uses 4 periods. . . . The first period ends the sentence.

Accent Marks

• Accent marks help with, the spelling, the usage, and the pronunciation of words.

• Résumé (summary) / Resume (to continue)• Cañon (canyon) / Canon (church law)• Façade (front of something)• Naïve (innocent simplicity)• Lovèd (love-ed) / Loved (lov’d)

Accent Marks• ã ñ õ — Shift Ctrl ~ letter

• á é í ó ú — Ctrl ‘ letter

• à è ì ò ù — Ctrl ` letter

• â ê î ô û — Shift Ctrl ^ letter

• ä ë ï ö ü ÿ — Shift Ctrl : letter

• ¿ — Shift Ctrl Alt ?

• ¡ — Shift Ctrl Alt !

• Delete unnecessary words, such as “also”; everything is “also.”

• Change wordy constructions, such as “can be found” and “is located” (if it “can be found” or “is located,” in such a place, it “is” in that place.

• Be precise; avoid vague words: “local,” “here,” “many,” “few,” “large,” “small,” etc.

That

• Do not arbitrarily delete “that” from your sentences. “That” is an essential word when what follows the verb is a complete thought unit.

• Not: Research showed FFA had a positive correlation.

• Research did not “show FFA.” Research showed that FFA had a positive correlation.

• Don’t misuse “that” and “who.”

• Things and animals are “that.”

• Newspapers and magazines that publish. . . .

• Nouns and pronouns referring to people … respondents … students … farmers … producers … and the like are “who” (not “that”).

• Students who (not “that”) responded to the survey. . . .

According to

• According to casts doubt, especially when tacked onto the end of the sentence.

• The result is like saying to readers: You can believe this or not, as you want to.

According to

• Used as attribution, according to refers to publications rather than to people. It is best to avoid according to as an attributive verb because it tends to cast doubt upon or to negate the statement.

• For centuries, the Nicene Creed of the Catholic Church said of Jesus: “the third day he rose again, according to the Scriptures.”

• In the 1960s, Pope John XXIII in Vatican II changed the wording to read: “the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures.”

While

• While means “during” or “at the same time.”

• While cannot substitute for “and.”

• Results were that agricultural experience produced a positive reaction, and [not “while”] no agricultural experience showed [not “showed,” “produced”] a negative reaction.

While

• “While” is not a contrast word.

• While attitudes improved, the change does not reflect a significant difference.

• Although attitudes improved, the change does not reflect a significant difference.

While

• Consistency in writing is a virtue.

• This is an awful sentence:

• The AGED class had 79% of its students with some form of agricultural experience, while the EHRD class had only 43% that had been exposed to an agricultural experience.

Infinitive of Purpose

• Be careful: “He walked to town to arrive exhausted” is incorrect; that’s not why he walked to town.

• “Data were interpreted to suggest that no differences existed” implies that the researcher manipulated the data.

• Rewrite: Data analysis suggested that no differences existed.

How about this one?

• This weekend, the quadruplets are to graduate from Baylor University, then will head to four different countries to live and continue their educations. Claire is heading to Austria and Darcy and Brooke are moving to England the Netherlands, respectively. [39 words]

• How would you make this shorter and more powerful?

How about this one?

• This is a good way. No confusion.

• This weekend, the quadruplets are to graduate from Baylor University, then will move abroad to live and to continue their educations: Allison to Spain, Clair to Austria, Darcy to England, and Brooke to Netherlands. [34 words, and much easier to read]

Compare the two versions

• This weekend, the quadruplets are to graduate from Baylor University, then will head to four different countries to live and continue their educations. Claire is heading to Austria and Darcy and Brooke are moving to England the Netherlands, respectively. [39 words]

• This weekend, the quadruplets are to graduate from Baylor University, then will move abroad to live and to continue their educations: Allison to Spain, Clair to Austria, Darcy to England, and Brooke to Netherlands. [34 words … no confusion … much easier to read]

•Questions?