river cities' reader - issue 836 - august 8, 2013

8/22/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue 836 - August 8, 2013

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River Cities Reader Vol. 20 No. 836 August 8 - 21, 20132 Business Politics Arts Culture Now You Know RiverCitiesReader.com

Iowa Conducts School-Cheating Investigation Behind Closed Doors

by Sheena Dooley

IowaWatchdog.org

W

hen cheating happens in the

classroom, Iowas top educa-tion officials are responsible for

investigating the allegations and uncover-ing any wrongdoing.

But the public in Iowa has littleinsight how state leaders investigateincidents, what material is collected, andthe amount of cheating taking place.They also dont know the extent of staffinvolvement in the cheating.

And they dont have any way of

knowing that investigations are thoroughand fair.Its all legitimate under Iowa law.The only information released to the

public is whether the Iowa Board ofEducational Examiners takes action on ateachers license. Not all school employeesneed a teaching license, however. Anunlicensed employees role, if there wasone, wouldnt be disclosed under Iowasopen-records laws.

There is no real legitimate publicpolicy for withholding the findingsof an investigation that has been fullyconcluded, said Kenneth Bunting,executive director of the NationalFreedom of Information Coalition,

housed at the

University ofMissouri ReynoldsJournalismInstitute. Its a lotmore of cover-upsthan good publicpolicy.

The DavenportCommunity SchoolDistrict uncoveredwidespread

cheating atMadisonElementary Schoolearlier this year,with wrong answerserased and replacedwith correctones (RCReader.com/y/cheating).The changes were found on the statemath and reading tests students in thirdthrough fifth grades must take underthe No Child Left Behind law. If schoolscontinually fail to meet ever-risingtargets, they face sanctions that includereplacing staff and principals.

The district recently wrapped up

its internal

investigation, butSuperintendentArt Tate wouldnot sit down foran interview withIowaWatchdog.org about thefindings. BoardPresident RalphJohanson did notrespond to multiple

phone calls ande-mails requestinginterviews.

Dawn Saul,spokesperson forthe district, didntsay in an e-mailto IowaWatchdog.org last week if the

investigation uncovered who was behindthe cheating. She would only say thatDavenport concluded its investigationafter an unnamed outside organizationwrapped up its own look into the matter.

The district has turned its materialsover to the Iowa Department ofEducation and the Iowa Board of

Educational Examiners, Saul said.

Were responsible for following thelaw, said Staci Hupp, spokesperson forthe Iowa Department of Education.That includes upholding the three legalprovisions that provided the basis forour decision not to disclose Davenportsinvestigative materials. ... The Davenportdistrict must follow the law as well.

Even the districts initial disclosureof the cheating was done behind closeddoors. Johanson and Ken Krumwiede,

vice president of the board, sat down withTate shortly after the allegations came tolight. Tate then called remaining boardmembers to inform them individually,Saul said.

Board members never discussed theallegations or investigation in publicbefore putting out a statement in Aprilafter they notified the Iowa Departmentof Education.

The board didnt have a role indeciding how to handle the matter,including the districts hiring of twooutside law firms to conduct theinvestigation, according to Saul. One of

There is no real

legitimate public

policy for withholding

the findings of an

investigation that has

been fully concluded. Kenneth Bunting,

National Freedom of

Information Coalition

IOWA POLITICS

Continued On Page 17

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River Cities Reader Vol. 20 No. 836 August 8 - 21, 2013 3Business Politics Arts Culture Now You Know RiverCitiesReader.com

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two Democratic candidates, Raoul has farmore money in the bank right now than stateSenator Kirk Dillard, who is touted as a seriousRepublican gubernatorial contender.

Public-employee unions are desperate to backa candidate in the primary, but they dont yethave anyone they can trust. Quinn and Daleyboth want pension reforms that they oppose, forinstance. So its possible they could wind up inhis corner, which means big bucks.

Also, if Raoul convinces black voters that

hes a credible candidate, history shows hedoesnt really need to raise as much money ashis opponents. Barack Obama, who was vastlyoutspent in the 2004 U.S. Senate primary, is justone example of this.

Infrastructure. A late start in any statewiderace is not a good thing, because Illinois is solarge and diverse and complicated, and youdont just pop up and run for something withouthaving any infrastructure in place. But Raoulalready started putting together a statewide race,

so the beginnings of an infrastructure are there.He could also very well have the strong

support of Senate President John Cullerton,who has all but privatelydeclared war on Quinnsince the governors vetoof state legislative salaries.Cullertons formidableorganization could helpRaoul set up a statewideorganization. Most of

Cullertons members,who are also Raoulsfellow legislators, could beexpected to pitch in as well.

If the unions jump in on his side, that wouldalso be a big infrastructure help. Cook CountyAfrican-American Democrats are one of themost well-organized and politically aware ethnicgroups in the state, which could give Raoul abuilt-in infrastructure advantage.

The downsides. Raoul has never won acontested race, and experience at taking andthrowing hard punches is crucial in a high-levelcontest such as this one. While known to andrespected by much of the media and the politicalestablishment, he likely has close to zero namerecognition among the voting populace. If he runsand ends up tossing the victory to Daley, helllikely upset several powerful black politicos. Andsince he hasnt been on the radar screen, nobodyknows what an opposition report might find.

Hell need plenty of fire in his belly just tosurvive the day-to-day ordeal, but its not there

yet. If he finds that fire, I think he might be ableto pull this off.

Rich Miller also publishes Capitol Fax (a dailypolitical newsletter) and CapitolFax.com.

ILLINOIS POLITICS

State Senator Kwame Raoul (D-Chicago)was apparently taken aback a few weeksago when his standard public comments

about not ruling out a race for governor weretaken as a dramatic sign that he might very wellrun.

The public reaction shouldve beenpredictable. The mostrecent Capitol Fax/WeAsk America poll, takenin mid-July, had Governor

Pat Quinn gettingjust 38 percent of theDemocratic-primary vote.Thats pretty awful for an

incumbent. Bill Daley, who made his exploratorycandidacy official last week was at 33 percent.

That leaves a lot of wide-open space for anew challenger. There is a very definable pathfor Raoul to do well here. And while he mightnot win, hed likely set himself up for a futurestatewide race possibly the 2016 U.S. Senate

primary if he runs a credible campaign. Therereally just isnt much of a downside, so lets lookat his path.

Race. African Americansmake up a huge segmentof the Democratic-primary

vote, so Raoul, who isblack, should do quite wellas long as hes seen as acredible candidate. Quinnis counting on winning the

black vote to defeat Daley,pretty much the same wayhe defeated Dan Hynesin 2010. Without that all-important constituency locked up, Quinn wouldbe in very big trouble, indeed.

Quinn is not overwhelmingly popular withblack voters. Just 47 percent back Quinn againstDaley, according to the July poll, and Quinns

job-approval rating in a June poll among blackDemocrats was a mere 28 percent, while 40percent disapproved.

Geography.Rumors abound that Quinnand Daley are looking at the possibility ofchoosing urban, minority running mates.Raoul, however, would be free to choose a whiteDownstater or suburbanite, possibly giving himthe only geographically balanced ticket on theDemocratic side.

To say that Quinn is unpopular Downstatewould be the understatement of the year.And Daley isnt trusted by Downstaters. Inthe recent Democratic primary head-to-head

poll I commissioned, undecided led amongDownstaters with 36 percent.

Money. Raoul raised $400,000 in the secondquarter for an aborted attorney-general bid.While his fundraising total trails the other

by Rich Miller

CapitolFax.com

Unknown Legislator Could CraftCredible Statewide Campaign

There is a very

definable path for

Senator Kwame

Raoul to do wellhere.

Kwame Raoul

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The Wallfowers Headline River Roots Live, August 17 at 9:30 p.m.

Looking at the Greater Whole

On paper, the Wallflowers 2012 al-bum Glad All Overhas the whiffof trying to recapture past glories.

It was the bands first album of newmaterial in seven years, a hiatus thatincluded a rote best-of compilation, acouple tours, and two solo albums byfrontman/songwriter Jakob Dylan.

But talking to Dylan last week and,more importantly, listening to thealbum its clear that the band and its

leader arent crassly trying to capitalizeon fondness for the quadruple-platinumBringing Down the Horse (and its chart-topping single, One Headlight) from1996. As theAll Music Guide correctlysummarized, with Glad All OvertheWallflowers now feel the freedom tomess around, and theyve come up withone of their loosest, liveliest records thatnot-so-coincidentally is one of their best.

So the long absence of the Wallflowers

headlining River Roots Live on August17 can be explained by Dylan wantingthe band to survive and thrive. Heobviously views it as his band less in thesense of belonging to him than being hisprimary musical outlet.

Even when the band was takingbreaks, I never really took breaks fromWallflowers, he said of the groupshistory prior to 2005. Id be writing forWallflowers.

While nobody in the band intendedthe gap between Rebel, Sweetheartand itsfollow-up to stretch to seven years, Dylansaid, it was important to step back andget off it for a little bit. ... You learn thatits going to be a long haul, and if youwant to have a band, you have to protectthe sanity of the group. You do have tostop every once in a while and just figureout what the plot was, what your focuswas, where your attention was. You getvery easily muddled along the way on theconveyor belt. ...

Theres no obligation to work everyyear. Theres no obligation to record. Ifyou dont have songs, then dont record.... You have to have a purpose in mindwhen youre doing it.

One purpose this time, he said, was toinvolve the band more in the compositionprocess.

Theres no one way to do it, he said,but for the bands five previous studio

records, Dylan came into recording witha set of finished songs.

We decided going into it [Glad AllOver] that a lot of the arrangements anda lot of the music was going to born in

the studio, he said. I went with as manylyrics as possible that were in a form thatwas flexible. That was something theband wanted to do, and it was somethingI wanted a bit of help doing. Its a lot ofpressure to go in with a band and have tohave 15 completed songs. Thats not howa lot of people do it. ... You get different

results theres no doubt but theresgreat value to both.

Approaching an album this way, hesaid, gave more room to his bandmates.A lot of time, you write songs that arefinished, you bring them in, theyrealready dictating what everybody reallyshould be doing, he said. They come

with a backbeat, they come with ameter. If youre following the motto thatthe song is king, ... theres not as muchflexibility as you imagine. The songalready kind of wants something specific.If you start from a different angle, thesong can be a lot more flexible.

As a result of a different method, GladAll Overis a significant departure for theWallflowers. Had Dylan finished all thesongs prior to going into the studio, theywould have been radically different, hesaid. But thats okay. Thats what youwant in a career and a catalog of music you want variety. I can definitely tellwhen I hear this record that it does sounddifferent than what weve done before. ...

You start with a lot of grooves whenthe band takes a more active role inwriting and shaping the material, he said.It doesnt become so much about chordsequences, chord patterns. It becomes a

lot more about interaction. The structureof a song is not necessarily as importantas what the band is doing in chemistryand the groove theyre coming up with.The vocalist can sit on top of almostanything. Its different; it takes a lot offocus off the vocal when youre buildingit from the bottom up.

It must be said, though, that asidefrom a couple of Clash-inspired tracksfeaturing that bands Mick Jones, Glad

All Overis still loaded with timeless andstrong songs: sturdy, rootsy rock thatcould have come from any time in thepast two decades or, in some cases, evenlonger ago.

The first single from the album, theslinky and bold Reboot the Mission, isone of those Clash tributes, and thatsnot something I would have written onmy own, Dylan said. It works as homage,but it also serves its intended purpose of

announcing a revitalized Wallflowers,even casting it as the fruit of a longgestation: Weve had it coming.

At the other end of the spectrum isconcise wisdom on equal footing withwarm, thoughtful arrangement: Loveis a country / Better cross when youreyoung.

Most of the other songs bridge thegap, particularly standouts The DevilsWaltz, with its persistent rock tension

balanced by Dylans measured singing,and the other Clash nod featuring Jones,Misfits & Lovers.

The album still has the longtimeWallflowers core of Dylan, keyboardistRami Jaffee, and bassist Greg Richling.

2013 River Roots Live Information

The 2013 River Roots Live festival will be held in conjunction with the Rib Festival on

Friday, August 16, and Saturday, August 17, in Davenports LeClaire Park. Rib vendors will

serve food starting at 11 a.m. Admission is free for children 10 and under, free for everybody

before 5 p.m., and $5 after 5 p.m. For more information, visit RiverRootsLive.com.

Youll find the music schedule below, along with links to previous River Cities Readerinterviews with performers.

Friday, August 16

5 p.m.: Busted Chandeliers5:50 p.m.: The Gallery6:55 p.m.: David Mayfield Parade (2011 interview: RCReader.com/y/mayfield)

8:15 p.m.: BoDeans (2005 interview: RCReader.com/y/bodeans)

9:45 p.m.: Shooter Jennings11 p.m.: Old Shoe

Saturday, August 17noon: Frank F. Sidney1 p.m.: OSG2 p.m.: The Multiple Cat (2013 interview: RCReader.com/y/cat)

3 p.m.: Chicago Farmer4 p.m.: Magic Box5 p.m.: The Dead Leaves Travelin Band6 p.m.: Miles Nielsen & The Rusted Hearts (2010 interview: RCReader.com/y/nielsen)

7 p.m.: The Big Wu8 p.m.: Vintage Trouble9:30 p.m.: The Wallflowers

11 p.m.: Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas

MUSIC


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shine, and the Wallflowers are perfectlycomfortable with the roots-rock wheel although Dylan said there are still plentyof variations worth trying.

Im not avoiding any trends orsounds, he said. You just follow yournose; you do what sounds good forthe songs youre writing and what isbelievable. You should also be ready tofall of the cliff and totally fail. Thats partof it, too. And if youre embarrassed years

later or you wish you hadnt done it, thatsall right, too. Its better to have tried andexplored things. ... That all adds up to agreater whole and greater picture. Yourejust supposed to follow your instinctsevery time. ...

Ive certainly been a part of thingswhere youre being persuaded to adjustsomething because somebody seemsto have some kind of motive that itllfare better for somebody elses ears, but

through experience and time, you learnthat thats never going to work, andyoure always going to be disappointedin the results. If you make records thatyou believe in and that you care about,youre never going to be sorry about that.Your fans wont be sorry about that. Nomatter what level they succeed artisticallyor commercially. If you do that, you justwont be disappointed.

The people who really chase some

version of success in placating otherpeople, they take risks, but theyreconfused. Theyre not actually artisticrisks; theyre acts of desperation. Thoseare the ones youll regret more thananything else. ...

Im ... a great fan of traditionalmusic, so Im not somebody who goesinto a recording process and wants tohear something that no ones ever heardbefore. ... I dont really think thats everbeen my drive.

Theres so much music to get to.We havent done a polka song yet. Wehavent really done a bluegrass song yet.Figuring out how this band can play a lotof traditional music and be believable andexplore those sounds, that still moves meand still gets me interested in going intothe studio.

The Wallflowers will perform on Saturday,August 17, at 9:30 p.m. at River Roots

Live (RiverRootsLive.com) in DavenportsLeClaire Park.

For more information on the Wallflowers,visit TheWallflowers.com.

by Jeff Ignatius

[email protected]

Guitarist Stuart Mathis joined the bandafter Rebel, Sweetheart, and the newface belongs to drummer Jack Irons, afounding member of the Red Hot ChiliPeppers who has done stints with PearlJam. (He also, as Reboot the Misssionnotes, jammed with the mighty JoeStrummer.)

The band is really is a vehicle to getbehind the songs that Im writing, Dylansaid. Its a certain sound that I can keep

intact with various players. It doesnt haveto be always the same players.

He said getting the group back togetherfor recording was primarily a logisticalchallenge. Wed been talking for at least ayear before, he said. The schedules weredifficult. ... Getting everybody back inthe same place at the same time for a fewmonths work on a record that was thebiggest complication. Actually getting usall to agree to do it was fairly easy; we all

wanted to.And Dylan said he embraced the new

composition process, even though itmeant he stepped back a bit. I cant tellyou how I feel about the results, he said,because its still so fresh. I dont knowhow itll last for me in the future, ... butI do think of myself as a vocalist as well,not just a songwriter. I was interestedin the challenge of fitting on top ofsomething rather than having everybody

fit around me.Thats a function of his solo albums,2008s Seeing Things and 2010s Women+ Country. Just about all the pressure isput on the song itself, and you, he said ofthose outings.

And despite being the son of one ofthe worlds most celebrated songwriters,Dylan sounds as if hes more comfortableas a bandleader than a solo artist. Thatsnot really where I come from, he said.When I started out, I was one of five. Iwrote the songs and usually cleared thepath where the vision was going to be.But there was a lot of camaraderie andthere was a lot of collaboration in a band.Everybody filled a spot thats necessaryand needed to create that sound.

The new album, he said, allowed meto kind of fit in the fold a little bit andnot have to make every decision andnot worry that the song was the onlything that mattered. There are a lot of

things people like about bands recordsother than just songs such as the latestalbums emphasis on group dynamics.

While the band is more front-and-center this time around, the songs still

J

essica Hernandez had a good storyto tell about being signed by the

venerable jazz label Blue NoteRecords. She canceled a meeting with thecompanys president in New York, andinstead had him fly to Detroit to hear herin a loft space she created above her fam-ilys bakery.

She got signed.That was a few years ago, and recently

her tale turned more typical. WarnerMusic Group acquired the label fromUniversal (a deal that was finalized in

July), and Hernandez who had beenworking on her debut album foundherself in the classic music-industrylurch.

Once we started to get into the mixingprocess, she said in a phone interviewlast week, they got bought out ... . Andso I started e-mailing my team andtrying to talk to people, and then realizedeveryone on my team had been fired.

Because the labels new leadership had

no investment in Hernandez, and becausethe 25-year-old has no commercial trackrecord, the ownership change meant heralbum might never see the light of day owned by a company that had no interestin releasing it.

But here the story takes another twist.Luckily, she said, I had made a couplereally great friends there, ... and they werereally up-front with me. We dont knowwhats going to happen once [the newowner] takes over, and theres a chancethey might shelve your record, becausethey dont have the time and passion putin that we did because we signed you.So do you want to just take your recordback? Youre in the clear, you dont have

Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas, August 17 at 11 p.m.

Out of the Lurch

to pay us back, take the album and dowhat you want with it. ... I kind of got

lucky, got my record back before the inkwas dry ... .

I asked whether this spoils the story ofher getting signed. It does and it doesnt,she said. It almost makes it betterbecause the reason I went with them isthey seemed so honest and up-front. Itseemed like a genuine relationship andfriendship was built between me and thelabel. And it kind of ended that sameway, with this trust and this openness and

actually looking out for my best interests.And while the people she worked with

at Blue Note are no longer there, theyrestill providing her advice and assistance.Im actually approaching it [the releaseof her album] the same way that the labelwould approach it, but with me beingable to guide the direction of things ... ,she said.

Thats not the only thing unusual aboutthe singer/songwriter. She co-founded

the micro-funding-dinner organizationDetroit Soup and hosted events in herloft space. And without a proper album,Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas will closeout River Roots Live with an 11 p.m. seton August 17 following the Wallflowers.(Hernandez said a festival organizer sawher band perform at Rozz-Tox earlier thisyear.)

Whats certain is that Hernandez willshowcase her force-of-nature voice atthe festival. Beyond that, her outputis intentionally all over the place.Her three-song Live at the Magic BagEP opens with surf-rock soul, follows



8/24


Vol. 20 No. 836August 8 - 21, 2013

River Cities Reader532 W. 3rd St.

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Publishing since 1993

The River Cities Readeris an independent

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available free throughout the Quad Cities and

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2013 River Cities Reader

AD DEADLINE:5 p.m. Wednesday prior to publication

PUBLISHERTodd McGreevy

EDITORKathleen McCarthy

EDITORIALManaging Editor: Jeff Ignatius [email protected]

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Contributing Writers: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Rich

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Advertising rates, publishing schedule, demographics,and more are available at

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Distribution: William Cook, Steve Cowan Cheri DeLay,Greg FitzPatrick, Daniel Levsen,

Jay Strickland, Doug Wilming

The Down-and-Dirty Dozen12 Angry Men, at the District Theatre through August 10

by Thom White

It only takes the jurors of theDistrict Theatres 12 Angry Menan hour to deliberate and arrive

at a verdict in the plays murdertrial, but director Tristan Tapscottsproduction in no way feels rushedor stunted. Instead, Thursdays60-minute trip through this clas-sic piece of theatre did a fine jobof showcasing the excellence ofplaywright Reginald Roses script.Plus, purists be damned, Tapscottsdecision to cast women in whatstraditionally even titularly an

all-male drama proves not at allproblematic, and allows for the inclu-sion of Patti Flaherty, and her infusion ofhumorous personality traits, in the roleof Juror Four.

Flaherty even proves a pleasingdistraction when shes not speaking,fleshing out her character beyond her

jurors words. While deliberating withher fellow jurors about whether a youngman stabbed and killed his father, theperformer speaks with an uppity, primtone of self-certainty regarding the boysguilt, even as Ed Villarreals beautifullysincere, conscientious, responsible JurorEight stands alone with his single voteof not guilty at the outset of the jurorsdiscussion. But Flaherty matches her

vocal characterization with physicalizedidiosyncrasies of a neat and orderly

variety. Her notebook, pencil, gloves,and kerchief are laid out in a particulararrangement, and repositioned to

perfection, repeatedly throughout theperformance. (At one point, Flahertytosses aside a piece of paper that haslanded in front of her, and quicklycorrects the positioning of her items.)When the group is asked if anyonehas a watch with a second hand on it,Flaherty carefully places her hand overher own watch and lowers her arms sothat her wrists are out of sight, hopingto avoid being part of the proceedings.

And Flahertys Juror Four also ticks offguilty and not guilty counts at eachinstance of voting for a verdict as ifshe should be the foreman or simplybecause shes so thorough and orderly in

her manner. Each of Flahertys actionsis performed with utter seriousness, buttheres also something amusing aboutthese tics that renders them mildlycomical (in agoodway).

As Juror Three the lone individualwho sticks to his guilty guns to thebitter end, refusing to acknowledgeJuror Eights breakdown of every flawedtestimony against the defendant Pattisreal-life husband Pat Flaherty is an

angry force to be reckoned with. Hesuccessfully creates an imposing hothead with whom I, for one, would notcontend, especially when hes backed byWayne Hess haughty, bigoted, bullyingJuror Ten, with his truly intimidatingdeath stares aimed at those who disagreewith him.

Villarreals character has an easiertime convincing the rest of the jurorsthat the damning testimony theyve

heard during the trial may not be sodamning after all. Linda Rueblingseastern-European Juror Eleven is quitesympathetic, and the role is shaped bythe actress with careful thoughtfulnessand inner strength. Bob ManascosJuror Two couldnt be more delightfullydorky and odd, with his diffidentnature punctuated by his bow tie andglasses, while Doug Kutzlis Juror Sevenmatches Manascos providing of mildcomic relief with his slightly slimy, NewYork-accented take on the juror who

just wants to get the deliberation overwith so he can attend the theatre. SaraArmstrong Kutzus no-nonsense, orderly

Juror One, who serves as foreman,is a stark contrast to DeborahShippys meek Juror Twelve, with

her clear lack of self-assurance.Mitchell Diamonds nervousnessas Juror Five has a pitiablesweetness to it, although hisoutbursts of defensive bravadoprove incongruent with hischaracters shy countenance. AndSally Hamers objective JurorSix and Steve TouVelles mature,intelligent, thoroughly likableJuror Nine serve as Juror Eights

greatest allies, offering aid inanalyzing the trial testimony. (Aaron J.Lord also makes a few brief but pleasingappearances as an indifferent, gum-chewing guard.)

It could be argued that Tapscottsdecision not to update the plays timeperiod to allow for the appropriateinclusion of women on the jury is amistake (as would be the inclusion of amodern water cooler on the otherwiseperiod-specific jury-room set, whichis layered with alcoves behind floor-to-ceiling wood planks). But in truth,the only reference to the early-1950ssetting is Juror Sevens mention ofseeing the playThe Seven Year Itch thatevening; otherwise, the time periodseems irrelevant, although it does allowfor Tapscott to include some stunningperiod costumes, particularly for thewomen. Not being a 12 Angry Menpurist, I take no issue with the District

Theatres era inaccuracies in its latestproduction, and applaud the casting ofsuch talented female actors in additionto the impressive males. Even the showsbrevity isnt bothersome, as the pacingfeels appropriate to this particular jury-room deliberation, with its hour-longpresentation offering wholly satisfyingentertainment.

12 Angry Men runs at the District

Theatre (1611 Second Avenue, RockIsland) through August 10, and moreinformation and tickets are availableby calling (309)235-1654 or visitingDistrictTheatre.com.

THEATRE


9/24



10/24


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11/24


by Mike Schulz [email protected] Mike Schulz [email protected] Reviews by Mike Schulz [email protected]

Washingtons and Wahlbergs undercoveroperatives the former a DEA agent, thelatter a Navy intelligence officer forcedto steal $43 million in Mexican-drug-lordmoney and then forced to steal it again,the movie is ridiculous in a wonderfulway; its like an ammo-laden spin on atraditional, door-slamming sex farce,

with craggy Mafia types (including KingCraggy himself, Edward James Olmos)in place of blushing ingenues in nighties.But while the endless double-crossingeventually grows a bit tiresome, and thecar chases and shoot-outs are standard (ifmostly well-choreographed) stuff, 2 Gunsis an absolute blast whenever Bill Paxtonshows up as a drawling CIA psychopath,and especially whenever its leads areshooting nothing more than the shit.

With Wahlbergs motor-mouth babblingaway even in the midst of heavy gunfire,and Washington grinning and chucklingat this loquacious goofus with legitimateaffection, the duo makes for a fantasticallyentertaining odd-couple pairing, and theiropening scene alone in which the mensquabble over the merits of pumpernickeltoast and whether 15 or 30 percent is anappropriate tip already had me a littleantsy for a reunion. Anyone else up for 2

Guns 2?

For reviews ofThe Wolverine, FruitvaleStation, The Way Way Back, The ToDo List, and other current releases, visitRiverCitiesReader.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter at Twitter.com/MikeSchulzNow.

THE SMURFS 2

Upon returning from my screeningofThe Smurfs 2, a buddy asked what Ithought of the film, and I told him thatHank Azaria the comic genius whoplays the nefarious, Smurf-loathing wizardGargamel was awfully funny in it. My

friend asked, When isnthe?, and beyondthe TV-movie tearjerker Tuesdays withMorrie, I couldnt provide an example.(And in tr uth, at appropriate momentsin his Emmy-winning dramatic turn, theactor is awfully funny in Tuesdays withMorrie.) Consequently, as hes nearlyalways this inspired on-screen, Azariashilariously outlandish performanceprobably isnt reason enough to seedirector Raja Gosnells blue-hued sequel,

at least if you dont have small childrenpressuring you to do so.If, however, youre a childless adult

who chooses to attend The Smurfs 2anyway, your secrets totally safe with me,because Azaria actuallydoes make thiskiddie comedy worth sitting through though perhaps only if you catch it duringbargain-matine hours, or have a cineplexgift card that you were just gonna throwout otherwise.

For viewers over the age of, say, eight,I cant really recommend the film, whichis both irritatingly hyperactive andirritatingly maudlin, and which employsa narrative that seems designed to lowerexpectations right off the bat; Smurfettehas been kidnapped, and her best hopesfor rescue lie with Papa Smurf and the self-described B team of Grouchy, Clumsy,and Vanity. (Given that we mightve

instead spent timewith Panicky,Crazy, and Passive-Aggressive Smurf,this is the trio werestuck with?) If yousaw Gosnells 2011The Smurfs hell,

even if you didnt you can guess thedrill from there:wan slapstick,shamelesssentiment, Looney Tunes-esque ultra-violence, and the insertion of Smurf intowhat feels like every other word in a scriptcredited to no fewer than five screenwriters.(Although I will extend a miniature Bravo!to whoever among them thought to include

the line Shes suffering from Smurfholmsyndrome when Smurfette beganempathizing with her captors.)

Still, while I was rolling my eyes at muchof the movie, I was also practically rollingin the aisles whenever Azarias bald, buck-toothed Gargamel showed up, deliveringhysterically florid outbursts with fearlessabandon and tossing off riotous asides withdevastating subtlety. (I remember whenmy father threw me down a well ... the

first time ... .) Azaria is waybetter than heneeds to be here, and so are Neil PatrickHarris and Brendan Gleeson, who almostsucceed in making their estranged son/stepfather subplot touching, and JaymaMays, who offers a brief but deliciouslyamusing Audrey Hepburn impersonation.For my money, the animated Smurfs evenwhen voiced by the likes of Katy Perry, JohnOliver, and the late, great Jonathan Winters

are pretty boringin The Smurfs 2.Their flesh-and-blood co-stars,however, are greatfun, and Azaria,in particular,deserves some

sort of prize forenthusiasm aboveand beyond thecall of duty. Theperformers early

introduction comes via a YouTube clip inwhich Gargamels magic wand lifts a taxihundreds of feet in the air before it comescrashing down on his skull, and we see thatthe video in question is at a billion hits andcounting. Seems about right.

2 GUNS

Refreshing as it is to encounter asummertime release with the 2 at thebeginning of its title rather than its end, Illadmit that I was somewhat dreading theaction thriller 2 Guns, if only because itstrailers made the film look indistinguishablefrom any number of generic actionthrillers that previously featured DenzelWashington or Mark Wahlberg in starring

roles. (Generally speaking, both are a lotmore enjoyable in movies that boast noguns.) What I hadnt realized, though, isthat director Baltasar Kormkurs outing isalso, for much of its length, a comedy, andwhenever Washington and Wahlberg aremaking us laugh here, generic is one of thelast adjectives youd apply to the film.

A cheerfully convoluted tale that finds

Listen to Mike every Friday at 9am on ROCK 104-9 FM with Dave & Darren

Blues 2 Men

The Smurfs 2


12/24


Whats HappeninWhats HappeninEventColonels Croquet PartyArsenal Island Quarters One

& Colonel Davenport House

Saturday, August 17, 2 p.m.

Fo-o-o-o-o-o-ore!

Thats my subtle way of buildingexcitement for the upcoming Colonels

Croquet Party at Arsenal Island, theAugust 17 event that will feature teams oftwo playing in a round-robin tournament,a casual tournament for individualenthusiasts and novices, and plenty ofoutdoor fun for anyone wanting to while

away a summer a

enjoyable lawn sAnd fine Fo

at golf, not croqustandard cry at cfriends at FunTribunch of other tyour day completa wine tasting coCreekside Viney

minutesofthat,itdhavetobecalledcroak-et.

MusicBlack TaxiRozz-Tox

Friday, August 9, 9 p.m.

On August 9, the Rock Islandvenue Rozz-Tox will host aspecial evening with the New YorkCity-based musicians of Black Taxi,whose infectious, upbeat, party-rock

style has been dubbed dance punk.Ive actually heard that expressionbefore, but only when it was directedat me by mean guys with pistolsduring my one visit to an old-timeysaloon, so Id rather not talk about it.

Composed of guitarist Bill Mayo,bass player Krisana Soponpong,drummer Jason Holmes, and EzraHuleatt whose list of creditedinstruments includes trumpet,

keyboard, glockenspiel, and megaphone(!) Black Taxi was formed in Brooklynin 2007, and the artists outfit hasquickly established itself as one ofNYCs most consistently popular bands,performing sold-out sets at venues allalong the East Coast.

A sampling of snippets from thegroups reviews helps explain why.After the release of the EPsMobiusStrip in 2007 and Untitled, 2008 in

(understandably enough) 2008, BlackTaxi released its debut CD Thingsof That Nature in 2009, and foundinstant support in the New York-basedmusic magazine The Deli, whichwrote, If New Yorks music scene were

summed up in two words,

they would be Black Taxi.Kind of dirty, a little pop-y,and very danceable, theseBrooklyn-ites fashion someof the most undeniably

contagious music around ... songs ofunmatched addictiveness.

And the raves continued with BlackTaxis sophomore effort We DontKnow Any Better. Awarding the albumfour out of four stars, SputnikMusic.

com called it a brilliant hybrid of thebest indie pop that the past decadehas had to offer, and applauded the2012 release for showcasing the rapidprogression of this excellent group ofmusicians, and displaying just whytheyre one of the most exciting bandscurrently doing the rounds.AudioArsenal Magazine, meanwhile, madeits case for Black Taxis incredibleCD even more succinctly: If yourelooking for a fantastic feel-goodalbum, then this is definitely for you.

With the bands style likened tothat of Talking Heads, Daft Punk, andCake, Rozz-Tox visitors are sure tohave a blast during Black Taxis Friday-night set. Be prepared, though, as theBlackTaxi.com Web site promisesa raucous stage show heavy onharmonies, spitfire guitar licks, bodypaint ... .

So bring your dancing shoes and,

if youre planning on sitting close tothe group, your tarp to Rock Island,with more information on Black Taxisconcert available by calling (309)200-0978 or visiting RozzTox.com.

MusicGolden State Lone Star RevueThe Muddy Waters

Monday, August 12, 7 p.m.

Martinis on the Rock

Wednesday, August 14, 8 p.m.

Blues sensations MarkHummel, Little Charlie Baty, and AnsonFunderburgh will bring their Golden State

Lone Star Revue to Bettendorfs The MuddyWaters on August 12, and two days later willperform an additional Quad Cities concert atRock Islands Martinis on the Rock. Whichmakes perfect chronological sense to me,

because if I found myself in muddy waters, Id

quickly need some martinis, too. Ha ha ha ha haha ha!!!Sorry. I really must stop going with my first

instincts on these jokes ... .In any event, area blues fans

wont want to miss either set withthe acclaimed artists an outfitdescribed in press materials asa cross-country meeting of theminds between California and

Texas musicians.And whatmusical minds! With three Blues

Music Award nominations and 17 albums to hiscredit, the West Coast-based blues-harmonicaplayer Hummel is a recognized maestro of Deltablues, Chicago blues, and swing, and has spentmore than three decades performing with his

group Mark Hum

whove headlinedFrancisco and ChLittle Charlie

guitarist for LittleBaty founded in 1University of Caliguitar skills contieven after his 200group, with GuitaBatys straight bl... . He stretches sskittering on the

bring the whole tAs for the thir

Lone Star Revubandleader for hi& the Rockets sin

1) Croquet involves using mallets to

send balls through hoops. Whatare the hoops called?

A) Wickets

B) Bouncers

C) Googlies

2) Which o the ollowing is not one

o the our traditional colors ocroquet balls?

A) Red

B) Black

C) Orange

3) A standard, ull-size croquet lawn is

roughly equivalent to what?A) Three boxing rings

B) Three tennis courts

C) Three ootball ields

Proudly Presents

309-762-6610www.qcmusicguild.com

For tickets call 309-762-6610 Tickets: $16 / Children $11

Prospect Park Auditorium, MolineCurtain Times:7:30pm Thurs., Fri., Sat. & 2pm Sun.

August 91011 & 15161718, 2013


13/24


Theatre9 to 5: The MusicalProspect Park Auditorium

Friday, August 9, through Sunday, August 18

(To be sung to the melody of The Girlfrom Ipanema. Just kidding. Youll figure it out.)

Tumble outta bed and stumble to my cell phone Wanna wait a while? My answer is, Hell, no!

Cause Music Guilds got a show with pep and drive!Directed by Mr. John VanDeWoestyne,Itll make me laugh, itll make me feel so fine!Gonna get me front-row seats to 9 to 5!

Seein 9 to 5! It got nods for several Tonys!Went from film to stage that must take some big cojones!Dolly Partons score lends a pop and country feelinTo this tale of friends and their boss double-dealin!Mmmmmm ...

The shows cast, alone, is gettin me hyper Elisabeth Gonzalez and Valeree PieperAnd Jenny Winn in the role first played by Jane!And Vals hubby Kevin plays the ladies mean boss ...If the Guild runs out of seats itll be such a loss,Cause who knows when Ill ever get this chance aga-a-ain!

Seein 9 to 5! To go Im surely rarin ...Choreography by that lovely Churchill (Erin) ...Yes, that Prospect Park will be filled with awesome music ...Better wrap this up ... if its sold out, Ill just lose it!9 to 5!

Quad City Music Guilds 9 to 5: The Musical runs at theProspect Auditorium August 9 through 18, and tickets andinformation are available by calling (309)762-6610 or visitingQCMusicGuild.com.

What ElseIs Happenin

by Mike Schulz

[email protected]


MUSICThursday, August 8

Tumbleweed Wanderers. Soul, unk,

and rock musicians in concert. The

Redstone Room (129 Main Street,Davenport). 7:30 p.m. $7. For tickets

and inormation, call (563)326-1333or visit RiverMusicExperience.org.Thursday, August 8 The Mickey

Hart Band. Concert with the Grammy

Award-winner and Grateul Deadmusician, with an opening set by Tea

Lea Trio. Englert Theatre (221 East

Washington Street, Iowa City). 8 p.m.$30-33. For tickets and inormation,

call (319)688-2653 or visit Englert.org.

Friday, August 9 Blue Moon

Swamp.The Creedence Clearwater

Revival tribute musicians in concert.Quad-Cities Waterront ConventionCenter (1777 Isle Parkway,

Bettendor). 7:30 p.m. $10-15. For

inormation, call (800)724-5825 orvisit Bettendor.IsleOCapriCasinos.

com.

Saturday, August 10 The

Official Blues Brothers Revue.

Concert with the Jake and Elwood

impersonators. Englert Theatre

(221 East Washington Street, IowaCity). 8 p.m. $25-35. For tickets and

inormation, call (319)688-2653 orvisit Englert.org.

fternoon with this ever-

ort.re! is the standard cryt. I dont know the

oquet. But thanks to ouria.com, I know a wholeings! Prior to enjoyinge with hors doeuvres,rtesy of C oal Valleysrds Winery, guided tours

of the Colonel Davenport House, and the

giddy thrill of occasionally smacking youropponents ball into next Tuesday, try yourhand at the quintet of croquet-based triviaquestions below!

Tickets to the August 17 Colonels CroquetParty are $25, with $10 admission for playersages 11 and under, and more information isavailable by calling (309)737-4280 or visitingDavenportHouse.org.

Answers:1A,2C,3B,4A,5B.Agoodthing,too.After10or15

mel & the Blues Survivors,

such events as the Sanicago blues festivals.Baty is the former leader andCharlie & the Nightcats, which976 while still a student at theornia at Berkeley. Yet his fierceue to be well-documentedsoft retirement from the

r Worldmagazine raving,es playing is eye-poppinglos to the breaking point,dge, where one wrong note will

ing crashing down.bluesman in the Golden State, he has been the guitarist andensemble Anson Funderburghe 1978, received several W.C.

Handy Awards for his Change in My PocketCD,

and has also been the beneficiary of raves, withBlues Revue calling him a musicians musicianwho makes sure the songs both breathe andburn.

So didnt miss these fantastic musiciansin their August 12 and 14 area gigs. After all,without Mark Hummel, Little Charlie Baty, andAnson Funderburgh, you cant spell Get out andhear truly real blues, man! (I spent some timeon that to make up for my weak, first-instinct

joke at the start.)For information on August 12s Golden State

Lone Star Revue concert at The Muddy Waters,call (563)355-0655 or visit TheMuddyWaters.com; for info on the groups August 14 set atMartinis on the Rock, call (309)732-1631 or visitMartinisOnTheRock.com.

4) Assuming its played to the

standard rules, how does a croquetgame inish?

A) When both balls on a team have

struck a peg in the center of the lawn

B) When every hoop has been passed

through three times

C) When an hour has passed

5) Which o the ollowing is not

oicially recognized as a orm ocroquet?

A) Bicycle croquet

B) Sub-aquatic croquet

C) Extreme croquet

Elisabeth Gonzalez, Jenny

Winn, and Valeree Pieper


14/24


The club sponsors numerous activitiesencompassing many types and aspects ofphotography. It holds digital and printcompetitions most months. At its meetings,members discuss the images, help eachother to improve, and socialize. The club

(Editors note: TheRiver Cities Reader

each month will featurean image or imagesfrom the Quad CitiesPhotography Club.)

Each year membersof Quad CitiesPhotography Club

submit their best im-age to compete for thephoto-of-the-year prize.

This top photo is usedto represent the club forthe following year. Shel-don Farwell created thisyears winning entry.

His image was takenlast fall in Nova Scotia.This fishing shack wasbehind an old housewhere Sheldon wasstaying. The cloudsseemed to make thepicture complete.Sheldon used a Canon7D with a Canon24-105-millimeter lensat ISO 200, 1/200 of asecond, and programexposure mode, andhe used a tripod tominimize camera shake.He took the original incolor, then converted it

to black-and-white using Nik Silver EfexPro 2 software.

The Quad Cities Photography Clubwelcomes visitors and new members.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Featured Image from the Quad Cities Photography Club

also holds special learning workshopsand small groups that meet on specificphotography topics, and occasionally offersinteresting shooting opportunities. Theclub meets at 6:30 p.m. the first Thursdayof the month September through June at

the Butterworth Center, 1105 Eighth Streetin Moline.

For more information on the club, visitQCPhotoClub.com.


15/24


from uneasy dreams he found himself

transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis

(32) Dr. Weiss, at 40, knew that her life

had been ruined by literature. Anita

Brookner, The Debut

(33) Nobody ever walked across the

bridge, not on a night like this. Mickey

Spillane, One Lonely Night(34) I had the story, bit by bit, from

various people, and, as generally happens in

such cases, each time it was a different story.

Edith Wharton, Ethan Frome(35) Vaughan died yesterday in his last

car-crash. J.G. Ballard, Crash(36) You better not never tell nobody but

God. Alice Walker, The Color Purple(37) Happy families are all alike; every

unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

Leo Tolstoy,Anna Karenina

(38) Ours is essentially a tragic age, so we

refuse to take it tragically. D.H. Lawrence,

Lady Chatterlys Lover(39) Pelham came away one night to

find a naked man standing over his bed,

growling. Daniel Woodrell, Night Stand

(40) Had I been dreaming, I would have

dreamt of being someone else, with a little

creature burrowed in my body, clawing

at the walls inside my chest a recurring

nightmare. Aleksandar Hemon, Passover

(41) The boy with fair hair lowered

himself down the last few feet of rock and

began to pick his way toward the lagoon. William Golding, Lord of the Flies

(42) Rosebud. Citizen Kane

(43) I am a sick man ... I am a spiteful

man. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from

Underground(44) It was a pleasure to burn. Ray

Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451(45) The past is a foreign country: They

do things differently there. L.P. Hartley,

The Go-Between

(46) Miss Brooke had that kind of beautywhich seems to be thrown into relief by poor

dress. George Eliot,Middlemarch(47) The mar velous thing is that its

painless, he said. Thats how you know

when it starts. Ernest Hemingway, The

Snows of Kilimanjaro

(48) Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number

four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that

they were perfectly normal, thank you very

much. J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter & the

Sorcerers Stone(49) This is the saddest story I have ever

heard. Ford Madox Ford, The Good Soldier

(50) All this happened, more or less.

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse Five

Admittedly, some of our previous

short-fiction contests have been a bitcruel.

So were making it easy for our 2013contest, which runs through August 20.(Our favorite entries will be published inthe September 5 issue of the River CitiesReader.)

All you need to do is start with one of thebeginnings below and finish your story inan additional 250 words. And weve beenextremely generous, giving you 50 options!

I should probably wait to tell you that thepreviously mentioned beginnings come fromthe Bible,Moby-Dick, Infinite Jest,A Tale ofTwo Cities, The Color Purple, Harry Potter& the Sorcerers Stone ... . And one offeredhere in its entirety might be the shorteststory ever written.

Anyway, here are boring rules:A) Entries, including titles, must be

250 words or fewer not counting theopening required in Rule G. The Readers

super-mean managing editor will makethe final judgment on word count, so werecommend being careful or leaving somebreathing room.

B) Entries must be typed.C) Entries must include the authors

name, mailing address, and daytime phonenumber.

D) Entries must be previouslyunpublished.

E) Entries must be received by 5 p.m.on Tuesday, August 20. We shall acceptsubmissions by e-mail ([email protected] Fiction Contest as the subject line);mail (532 W. 3rd St., Davenport IA 52801,with Fiction Contest on the envelope);and fax (563-323-3101).

F) People may submit as many entriesas they like, but no more than one for eachopening prompt.

And heres the biggie:G) All entries mustbegin with one of

the 50 great beginnings below. Outside

of using one of these openings, no fidelityor relationship to the beginnings source isrequired.

Without further ado, here are youroptions:

(1) In the beginning God created theheaven and the earth. The Bible

(2) Call me Ishmael. Herman Melville,Moby-Dick

(3) It was a wrong number that startedit, the telephone ringing three times in the

dead of night, and the voice on the otherend asking for someone he was not. PaulAuster, City of Glass

(4) I am an invisible man. Ralph Ellison,Invisible Man

(5) It is a truth universally acknowledged,that a single man in possession of a goodfortune, must be in want of a wife. JaneAusten, Pride & Prejudice

(6) I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

(7) On the day he lost his right foot,Walter Van Brunt had been haunted,however haphazardly, by ghosts of the past. T. Coraghessan Boyle, Worlds End

(8) Ive watched through his eyes, Ivelistened through his ears, and I tell you he sthe one. Orson Scott Card, Enders Game

(9) It was a queer, sultry summer, thesummer they electrocuted the Rosenbergs,

and I didnt know what I was doing in NewYork. Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar(10) Id never g iven much thought to how

I would die though Id had reason enoughin the last few months but even if I had,I would not have imagined it like this. Stephenie Meyer, Twilight

(11) None of them knew the color of thesky. Stephen Crane, The Open Boat

(12) When I leave home to walk to school,Dad always says to me, Marco, keep youreyelids up and s ee what you can see. Dr. Seuss,And to Think That I Saw It onMulberry Street

(13) It was the best of times, it was theworst of times ... . Charles Dickens, A Taleof Two Cities

(14) Once upon a time, there was awoman who discovered she had turned intothe wrong person. Anne Tyler, Back WhenWe Were Grownups

(15) Harry locked his mother in the closet. Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream

(16) In my younger and more vulnerableyears my father gave me some advice thatIve been turning over in my mind eversince. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

(17) Wheres Papa going with that

axe? said Fern to her mother as they weresetting the table for breakfast. E.B. White,Charlottes Web

(18) They shoot the white girl first. Toni

Morrison, Paradise(19) It was one of those midsummer

Sundays when everyone sits around saying,I drank too much last night. JohnCheever, The Swimmer

(20) Mrs. Dalloway said she would buythe flowers herself. Virginia Woolf,Mrs.Dalloway

(21) For sale: baby shoes, never worn. dubiously attributed to Ernest Hemingway

(22) I am seated in an office, surrounded

by heads and bodies. David Foster Wallace,Infinite Jest(23) To the red country and part of the

gray country of Oklahoma, the last rainscame gently, and they did not cut the scarredearth. John Steinbeck, The Grapes of Wrath

(24) The drought had lasted now for 10million years, and the reign of the terriblelizards had long since ended. Arthur C.Clarke, 2001: A Space Odyssey

(25) Today, Maman died. Albert Camus,The Stranger

(26) It was the day my grandmotherexploded. Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road

(27) Ships at a d istance have every manswish on board. Zora Neale Hurston, TheirEyes Were Watching God

(28) In a hole in the ground there lived ahobbit. J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

(29) Mr. Jones, of the Manor Farm, hadlocked the hen-houses for the night, but wastoo drunk to remember to shut the pop-holes. George Orwell,Animal Farm

(30) It was inevitable: the scent of bitteralmonds always reminded him of the fate ofunrequited love. Gabriel Garca Mrquez,Love in the Time of Cholera

(31) As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning

LITERATURE

Enter the Readers 2013 Short-Fiction Contest: Great Beginnings


16/24


Saturday, August 10 Chase Garrett

with Chris Conz. Boogie-woogie,

blues, jazz, and swing-piano musicians

in concert. Orange Street Theatre (701Orange Street, Muscatine). 7 p.m. $10.

For inormation, call (563)262-8791.

Thursday, August 15 The Bob

Mould Band.The Hsker D and Sugar

musician and his ensemble in concert,

with an opening set by Love Songs orLonely Monsters. Englert Theatre (221

East Washington Street, Iowa City). 8 p.m.

$22-25. For tickets and inormation, call

(319)688-2653 or visit Englert.org.Friday, August 16 Ratt, Sebastian

Ford, Dokken, and Lita Ford. Hard-rocksuperstars in concert. i wireless Center

(1201 River Drive, Moline). 6 p.m. $25-50.

For tickets, call (800)745-3000 or visitiwirelessCenter.com.

Saturday, August 17 Rehab.

Concert with the Southern-rock, country,and alternative hip-hop musicians,

eaturing opening sets by As Big as a

Mouse and 1380. Rock Island BrewingCompany (1815 Second Avenue, Rock

Island). 8 p.m. $12-15. For inormation,

call (309)793-4060 or visit RIBCO.com.Sunday, August 18 B.K. Davis. Jazz

pianist and Steinway Artist perorms

and educates in Polyrhythms ThirdSunday Jazz Workshop & Matine

Series. The Redstone Room (129 Main

Street, Davenport). 3 p.m. all-agesjazz workshop $5/adults, children

ree; 6 p.m. concert $10-15. For

tickets and inormation, call (309)373-0790 or visit Polyrhythms.org or

RiverMusicExperience.org.

THEATREWednesday, August 14, through

Saturday, September 21 Southern

Crossroads. Musical comedy eaturing

bluegrass and gospel avorites. Circa21 Dinner Playhouse (1828 Third

Avenue, Rock Island). Fridays, Saturdays,Wednesdays, and August 15 6-7 p.m.

buet, 7:45 p.m. show; Sundays 4-5 p.m.

buet, 5:45 p.m. show; Wednesdays11:45 a.m.-12:45 p.m. plated lunch, 1:30

p.m. show. $28.74-48.07. For tickets

and inormation, call (309)786-7733extension 2 or visit Circa21.com.

Thursday, August 15, through

Sunday, August 25 Love Thy

Neighbor. Farcical comedy by Gary

Ray Stapp, directed by Eugenia Giebel.

Richmond Hill Barn Theatre (600

Robinson Drive, Geneseo). Thursdays-Saturdays 7:30 p.m., Sundays 3 p.m.

$10. For tickets and inormation, call(309)944-2244 or visit RHPlayers.com.


Friday, August 23 Almost, Maine.

Romantic-comedy vignettes by John

Carianni. Clinton Area Showboat Theatre

(311 Riverview Drive, Clinton). Thursdays-Saturdays 7:30 p.m., Sunday and

Wednesday 3 p.m. $16-23. For tickets and

inormation, call (563)242-6760 or visitClintonShowboat.org.


Sunday, August 25 S Wonderful.

Musical revue eaturing more than 40

songs by composers George and Ira

Gershwin. Timber Lake Playhouse (8215Black Oak Road, Mt. Carroll). Tuesdays-

Saturdays 7:30 p.m., Sundays and

Wednesday 2 p.m. $15-23. For tickets andinormation, call (815)244-2035 or visit

TimberLakePlayhouse.org.

Friday, August 16, through Sunday,

August 18 Disneys Aladdin Jr. Stage

adaptation o the animated movie hit,

presented by Nolte Academy o Dance.Coralville Center or the Perorming Arts

(1301 Fith Street, Coralville). Friday and

Saturday 7 p.m., Saturday and Sunday 2p.m. $12-20. For tickets and inormation,

call (319)248-9370 or visit CoralvilleArts.

org.

COMEDYSaturday, August 10 An Evening

with Jeanne Robertson. North Carolina-based speaker and humorist shares

stories and lie experiences. Orpheum

Theatre (57 South Kellogg Street,Galesburg). 7:30 p.m. $30. For tickets and

inormation, call (309)342-2299 or visit

TheOrpheum.org.

EVENTSThursday, August 8, through

Sunday, August 18 2013 Iowa StateFair. Annual outdoor event eaturinggames, rides, attractions, vendors,

childrens activities, and grandstand acts

eaturing such headliners as CastingCrowns, Victoria Justice, and Saturday

Night Live veterans Dana Carvey, Dennis

Miller, and Kevin Nealon. Iowa StateFairgrounds (East 30th Street and

East University Avenue, Des Moines).

Free admission, tickets required or

grandstand acts and certain attractions.For inormation, call (800)545-3247 or

visit IowaStateFair.org.Thursday, August 8, through

Saturday, August 10 2013 Tug Fest.

The 27th-annual tug-o-war over theMississippi River held at the town levees

in LeClaire, Iowa, and Port Byron, Illinois,

eaturing carnivals, live music, childrensactivities, vendors, and more. Saturday

tug-o-war: noon-3 p.m. For inormation,

call (309)523-3705 or (563)289-2799, orvisit TugFest.com (LeClaire) or TugFest.

org (Port Byron).

Friday, August 9, and Saturday,

August 10 Ya Maka My Weekend.

Annual celebration o Caribbean culture

eaturing concerts, vendors, childrensactivities, and more. District o Rock

Island. Friday 5 p.m. gates, Saturday noon

gates. $9 one-day ticket, $14 two-daypass. For inormation, call (309)788-6311

or visit YaMakaMyWeekend.com.Saturday, August 10 Xstream

Cleanup.Tenth-annual cleanup o area

waterront sites located in Bettendor,Bualo, Davenport, LeClaire, and

McCausland, Iowa, and Milan, Moline,

Rock Island, and Silvis, Illinois. 8;30 a.m.For inormation, call (563)468-4218 or

visit XstreamCleanup.com.

Friday, August 16, and Saturday,

August 17 River Roots Live. Annual

event eaturing perormances by local

and national roots musicians including

The Walllowers, BoDeans, and ShooterJennings, plus the annual Rib Fest.

LeClaire Park (River Drive and RipleyStreet, Davenport). 11 a.m.-midnight.

$5 ater 5 p.m., ree admission 11 a.m.-5

p.m. For inormation, visit RiverRootsLive.com.

Saturday, August 17 2013

Floatzilla. Fourth-annual paddlesportevent on the Mississippi River, with the

world-record attempt or the largest

assemblage o canoes and kayaks heldat 2 p.m. Sunset Park (18th Avenue and

Sunset Road, Rock Island). 8 a.m.-4 p.m.

$20-25 registration or world-recordattempt. For inormation, call (563)322-

2969 or visit Facebook.com/Floatzilla.

Saturday, August 17 East Village

Wine Walk. Fundraiser or Gildas Club o

the Quad Cities eaturing live music and

samplings o more than 25 wines romlocal wineries and international wineries.

Village o East Davenport. 3-6 p.m. $5

suggested donation. For inormation,visit VillageOEastDavenport.com.

Saturday, August 17 Quad Cities

Irish Festival. Annual event eaturingIrish cuisine, memorabilia, a silent

auction and rale, and live music by the

Dont Be Brothers and The Beggarmen.The District o Rock Island. 1-8 p.m. $6,

ages 11 and under ree. For inormation,

visit StPatsQC.com.

Continued From Page 13

What Else Is Happenin


17/24


behind closed doors, but findings

need to be made public. Senator Brian

Schoenjahn (D-Arlington), vice chair

of the Senate Education Committee,

said he wants the department to provide

the legislature with a report on its final

findings during the next session.

That way its public and all of that,

Schoejahn said. During the investigation

itself you need to have confidentiality

until all of the facts are known. TheDepartment of Education needs to be

able to do its job. And then when the

investigation is complete, names need to

be named.

This article originally appeared at

IowaWatchdog.org.


those firms then hired a third independent

party to also dig into the incident.

Davenports materials are now in the

hands of the state education department,

whose officials are not allowed to release

them or details about their contents. If

they turn up findings, the matter is turned

over to the Iowa Board of Educational

Examiners, which conducts its own

investigation.

In cases where cause is found, the board

takes action against the educator in a

public meeting. The board then provides

an order document with a summary of the

charges and the final action taken, said

board attorney Darcy Lane.

At least one lawmaker said he thinks

its fair for the investigation to take place

Iowa Conducts School-Cheating

Investigation Behind Closed Doors

by Sheena Dooley

IowaWatchdog.org

IOWA POLITICS

3865 Elmore Ave. | Davenport, IA 52807 | 563.326.1847

www.dolandjewelers.com | Look for us on Facebook.

We get to know our brides pretty well.

Thats why Doland brides are invited to

select from a range of beautiful jewelry to

accessorize their wedding gown for free!

Visit us at Doland Jewelers

for complete details.

wedding day?

Freejewelryfor your

lends itself to make the next record

unpredictable. Is it going to go this weirddisco route theres a couple songs that

are like that or is it going to go thisweird, dark gothic direction? I felt like it

almost gave me more freedom, because I

wasnt pigeonholing myself into trying tobe one thing or the other.

But she said that the lyrics tie themtogether, all drawn from a dark and

confusing point in her life: Even thesongs that are happy, the lyrics are still

very dark and a little bit morbid.

Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas willperform on Saturday, August 17, at 11p.m. at River Roots Live (RiverRootsLive.

com) in Davenports LeCalire Park.

For more information on JessicaHernandez, visit JessicaHernandez.net.


it with a slow ballad, and closes with thecatchy, horn-driven, not-really-an-apology

apology Sorry I Stole Your Man.Her ReverbNation.com page offers two

songs one an evocative minute-plus pieceof incidental music.

The whole records like that,Hernandez said of her debut album, whichshe plans to self-release early next year.This is my first full-length, so I kind of

just went for it and didnt want to limitmyself as far as genre goes. I had a toughtime with it at first: Do I cut this songbecause it doesnt fit into this feel of theseother songs? ... At the end of the day, I waskind of just like, I love all these songs. Iwrote all these at this point in my life, and

this is kind of just what happened. So Imjust going to embrace that and put them all

on one album, and have that be my debut.And then I almost felt like, too, it

Out of the Lurch

by Jeff Ignatius

[email protected]

MUSIC

RiverCitiesReader.com


18/24


older than some of his socks.You can turn th is into a positive experience

in two ways: by thanking your lucky stars thatyou wont be the boyfriend shes ripping into atthe supermarket for eyeing the wrong potatoand by listing an age range thats less ire-producing. This actually shouldnt limit you inthe slightest, since you can write to any womanyou find attractive including thos e whollthink youre like, so much more amazingthan the other men theyre dating, becauseyou dont live with your parents or have a job

that requires a paper hat.

Dont Just Mall a

WomanIve saved some money to get my girlfriend

something special for her birthday. I knowwhat she likes at REI, Pottery Barn, andWilliams-Sonoma, but nothing feels specialenough. Perhaps Im an idiot for asking you,a stranger, what to get the woman I know andlove, but maybe you can point me in the rightdirection.

Stumped

Too bad the two of you arent cats, or youcould just come by with a dead cricket betweenyour teeth. But you are wise to think outside thecardboard box. Researchers Elizabeth Dunnand Michael Norton write in Happy Money: TheScience of Smarter Spendingthat the purchasesthat ultimately make us the happiest are not

material things but experiences. They citeresearch showing that new stuff soon stopsgiving us the same zing, while experientialpurchases not only contribute to our sense ofself and our connection with others but get moremeaningful over time through the stories we tellabout them. Also, they never need dusting.

So instead of deciding between the espressomachine thatll guess her weight and the onethat gets basic cable, think about an experienceshed really love. It could be a Champagneballoon ride or driving a race car around a track

(NascarRacingExperience.com). But fret not ifthese are too pricey. The research suggests thateven when people spend just a few dollars, theyget more lasting pleasure from an experience thana thing. And even when experiences go wrong,like a romantic picnic that ends in horrible poisonoak, they tend to be viewed fondly in hindsight.Your girlfriend may not have asked for a seriesof hydrocortisone injections for her birthday, butyears later, shell be laughing with you and fr iendsabout that and not the story of how you once gother a bowl from Pottery Barn.

Got A Problem? Ask Amy Alkon.171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405

or [email protected] (AdviceGoddess.com)2013, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.

Ask

theAdviceGoddess BY AMY ALKON

Its Scold in HereOnline dating isnt going so well. Im a

34-year-old professor seeking a relationship.I listed an age range of 18 to 35 on my profile,not because I particularly like 18-year-oldsbut simply to avoid limiting my options. Imessaged a 24-year-old woman, noting thatI loved that she enjoys supporting peoplewho have a purpose and a passion. She wroteback: You seem really cool, but the fact thatyoure considering dating women as young

as 18 is a d eal-breaker. Eighteen-year-oldsarent people yet. Youre a professor. Youknow that. She then scolded me for failingto admire that she clearlyhas purpose andpassion she do esnt just support thosethings but considering my interest in18-year-olds, purpose and passion probablydont matter much to me anyway. Huh?!Should I really be faulted for being open-minded?

Reprimanded

Online dating can be so efficient. It used tobe that youd have to wait to say hello to haveyour first argument.

This woman probably couldnt go out w ithyou anyway, as busy as she must be getting theignition lock replaced on her broom. However,she may have done you a favor. Although mostwomen wont turn online dating into onlineberating, many probably share her anger andsuspicion at the lower end of your listed agerange. But, but, you protest, youre just try ing tobe open instead of assuming that every single

18-year-old will be the dating equivalent ofgoing out with a steak in a short skirt.

Your open-mindedness seems to be arational approach. The problem is: We arentthe rational animals we smugly insist weare. Research by evolutionary psychologistsMartie Haselton and David Buss suggeststhat we evolved to make protective errors in

judgment erring on the side of perceivingwhatever would have been least costly forour survival and mating interests back in theancestral environment. This makes us proneto believe theres a snake behind ever y rustleof a pile of leaves because the embarrassmentfrom shrieking like an idiot would have beenless costly than dying f rom a snakebite. Inthe mating sphere, women evolved to becommitment skeptics, prone to over-perceivemen as hookup-seeking cads until they proveotherwise. For men, it would have been costlyto miss any mating opportunity ... leading to a34-year-old man being open to a wide rangeof women, including a woman only slightly

19


19/24


giving him greater name recognition as he workedto build his career. Do you have any interest inmaking a bold move like that, Leo? The coming

weeks would be a good time for you to thinkabout adding a new twist to your nickname or titleor self-image. But I recommend something lesssensationalistic and more in line with the qualitiesyoud actually like to cultivate in the future. Imthinking of something like Laughing Tiger orLucky Lion or Wily Wildcat.

VIRGO (August 23-September 22):African-American jazz singer BillieHoliday was the great-granddaughter

of a slave. By the time she was born in 1915,

black people in the American South were nolonger owned by white masters, but theirpredicament was still extreme. Racism was acuteand debilitating. Heres what Billie wrote in herautobiography: You can be up to your boobiesin white satin, with gardenias in your hair and nosugar cane for miles, but you can still be workingon a plantation. Nothing you experience isremotely as oppressive as what Billie experienced,Virgo. But Im wondering if you might suffer froma milder version of it. Is any part of you oppressedand inhibited even though your outward

circumstances are technically unconstrained? If so,nows the time to push for more freedom.

LIBRA (September 23-October 22):What resounding triumphs and subtle

transformations have you accomplished since yourlast birthday? How have you grown and changed?Are there any ways you have dwindled ordrooped? The next few weeks will be an excellenttime to take inventory of these things. Your ownevaluations will be most important, of course.Youve got to be the ultimate judge of your own

character. But you should also solicit the feedbackof people you trust. They may be able to help yousee clues youve missed. If, after weighing all theevidence, you decide youre pleased with how yourlife has unfolded these past 10 to 11 months, Isuggest you celebrate your success. Throw yourselfa party or buy yourself a reward or climb to the topof a mountain and unleash a victory cry.

SCORPIO (October 23-November 21):Monmouth Park in New Jersey hostsregular horse races from May through

November. During one such event in 2010, a horsenamed Thewifenoseeverything finished first, justahead of another nag named Thewifedoesntknow.I suspect that therell be a comparable outcome inyour life sometime soon. Revelation will trumpsecrecy. Whoever is hiding information will loseout to anyone who sees and expresses the truth. Iadvise you to bet on the option thats forthcomingand communicative, not the one thats furtive andwithholding.

SAGITTARIUS (November22-December 21): You have both apoetic and a cosmic license to stretch

yourself further. Its best not to go too far, ofcourse. You should stop yourself before you

Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny'sEXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES& DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob BrezsnyARIES (March 21-April 19): Youhave to participate relentlessly in themanifestation of your own blessings,

says author Elizabeth Gilbert. I recommend thatyou experiment with this subversive idea, Aries.Just for a week, see what happens if you devoteyourself to making yourself feel really good.I mean risk going to extremes as you pursuehappiness with focused zeal. Try this: Draw upa list of experiences that you know will give youintense pleasure, and indulge in them all withoutapology. And please dont fret about the possibleconsequences of getting crazed with joy. Beassured that the cosmos is providing you withmore slack than usual.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I am notwashed and beautiful, in control of ashining world in which everything fits,

writes Taurus author Annie Dillard, but insteadam wandering awed about on a splintered wreckIve come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathea delicate air. I recommend you try on herperspective for size. For now, just forget aboutscrambling after perfection. At least temporarily,surrender any longing you might have forsmooth propriety. Be willing to live without neat

containment and polite decorum. Instead, beeasy and breezy. Feel a generous acceptance forthe messy beauty youre embedded in. Love yourlife exactly as it is, with all of its paradoxes andmysteries.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Studiesshow that when youre driving a car,your safest speed is five miles per hour

higher than the average rate of traffic. Faster thanthat, though, and the danger level rises. Travelingmore slowly than everyone else on the road

also increases your risk of having an accident.Applying these ideas metaphorically, Id like tosuggest you take a similar approach as you weaveyour way through lifes challenges in the comingweek. Dont dawdle and plod. Move a littleswifter than everyone else, but dont race along ata breakneck pace.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Thekey theme this week is relaxedintensification. Your assignment,

should you choose to accept it, is to heightenand strengthen your devotion to things thatare important to you but in ways that makeyou feel more serene and self-possessed. Toaccomplish this, you will have to ignore theconventional wisdom, which falsely asserts thatgoing deeper and giving more of yourself requireyou to increase your stress levels. You do indeedhave a great potential for going deeper and givingmore of yourself, but only if you also becomemore at peace with yourself and more at home inthe world.

LEO (July 23-August 22): Last yeara young Nebraska entrepreneurchanged his name from Tyler Gold to

Tyrannosaurus Rex Gold. He said it was a way of

obliterate allboundaries and breakalltaboos andsmash allprecedents. But youve certainly gotthe blessings of fate if you seek to disregard some

boundaries and shatter some taboos and outgrowsome precedents. While youre at it, you mightalso want to shed a few pinched expectations andescape an irrelevant limitation or two. Its time toget as big and brave and brazen as you dare.

CAPRICORN (December22-January 19): When I was 19,a thug shot me in the butt with a

shotgun at close range. To this day, my bodycontains the 43 pellets he pumped into me.They have caused some minor health problems,

and Im always queasy when I see a gun. But Idont experience any routine suffering from thewound. Its original impact no longer plaguesme. Whats your own personal equivalent of mytrauma, Capricorn? A sickness that racked youwhen you were young? A difficult break-up withyour first love? The death of someone you caredabout? Whatever it was, I suspect you now havethe power to reach a new level of freedom fromthat old pain.

AQUARIUS (January 20-February

18): Want to take full advantage ofthe sexy vibes that are swirling around in your

vicinity? One thing you could do is whisperthe following provocations in the ear of anyonewho would respond well to a dose of boisterousmagic: (1) Corrupt me with your raw purity,baby; beguile me with your raucous honesty.(2) I finally figured out that one of the keys toeternal happiness is to be easily amused. Wantme to show you how that works? (3) I dare youto quench my thirst for spiritual sensuality. (4)Lets trade clothes and pretend were each others

higher selves.

PISCES (February 19-March 20):Some people put their faith in religionor science or political ideologies.

English novelist J.G. Ballard placed his faithelsewhere: in the imagination. I believe inthe power of the imagination to remake theworld, he wrote, to release the truth within us,to hold back the night, to transcend death, tocharm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves withbirds, to enlist the confidences of madmen. Asyou make your adjustments and reconfigureyour plans, Pisces, I suggest you put your faithwhere Ballard did. Your imagination is farmore potent and dynamic than you realize especially right now.

Homework: Make a guess about where youll beand what youll be doing ten years from today.Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Ri Citi R d V l 2

river cities' reader - issue 836 - august 8, 2013

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