rori raye...2018/10/05 · 2 5 steps to instant emotional intimacy rori raye 5 siren island steps...

5 Siren Live

Coaching Steps

To Instantly

Create

Emotional

Intimacy With

A Man… …The Way I Turned One Of My Worst Flaws Into More Love From My Husband…

Rori Raye

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5 Steps To Instant Emotional Intimacy Rori Raye https://www.coachrori.com/

5 Siren Island Steps To Instantly Create

Emotional Intimacy With A Man

Here's what we do on Siren Island to create

actual, fast turnarounds in your love life - no

matter what's going on right now.

Step 1: Feel The Feelings

I experienced what I was feeling when I burned

the food and my husband called me out for it.

On Siren Island, we can help you fix a difficult

situation in real time - right while you’re in the middle of it – by giving you a completely new experience.

We give you new words, new body language, a

new way of looking at yourself and your circumstance, and a new sense of

excitement and possibility.

Then, at the same time - we can prepare you for the next difficult situation – so you’ll experience a completely different reaction and truly fast results.

When I was confronted by my husband in my kitchen, I was not prepared.

I felt embarrassed, devastated that I made the same mistake "one more time,"

absolutely shocked and terrified. Yes, terrified, when my husband spoke up.

I have never felt good when people have said not nice things about me, accused

me of anything, pointed out my weaknesses in mistakes, put me at fault, any of

those things.

I defended.

I said NO! I tightened up like I always had.

I had been trained since early girlhood to defend myself - to point out that the

person calling me out is not perfect himself, does not see the whole picture, has

https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island/

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serious faults of his own, that he’s wrong, doesn’t understand... anything but owning my own foibles and missteps.

(*As you get to know more about how we work on Siren Island, you'll also learn

that we do not think there are such things as mistakes or wrong moves.

Everything just sort of flows, one thing to

another, and because we actually have no

idea where one thing will lead us - we have

no real ability to judge the right or

wrongness, good or badness of anything that

is happening right now....)

So, as I was able to stop my instant reaction

and need to defend myself (for nearly the

first time in my memory with my man) - I

simply stopped for a second and FELT.

And yes, I stopped the defensive, accusing

train I was on AFTER I'd already started

defending and accusing - so you see how quickly things can recover no matter

what!

I could feel how horrible I felt. How undermined and hopeless and stupid and

clumsy and unattractive I felt.

And although I wanted to crawl under the kitchen floor - I managed to stay with

that feeling experience and then take more steps - ones I'd never taken before -

to create an entirely new bond with my man.

So – Step 1 is about your experience of what happens when a man triggers you. Do you freeze? Tighten up? What do you feel? What do you want to do?

Feel it in your body.

Track down your entire body if you can, to take some time away from your

instinctual "reaction."

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This may sound a bit like the standard advice to "take a breath" - only, here,

you're "doing" something with the energy you feel that actually can make a huge

difference.

Instead of just "taking a breath" (and yes, I know that is a very powerful thing...)

you are using the mental gymnastics your brain is doing, all the somersaults of

thoughts and feelings, to discover this genuine emotional landscape of YOU.

AND - amazingly, it will not be what you expect.

YOU are likely uncharted

territory.

If you're at all like I was, used

to just jumping in with a

reaction, you've likely never

really given yourself the

space to experience any

moment - uncomfortable or

thrilling.

The secret of the Modern

Siren process is that if we

don’t allow ourselves to feel “through” and experience the uncomfortable, icky, miserable moments of our lives - we literally block ourselves from the joyful,

ecstatic, thrilling, juicy, and fun moments.

It's true.

We can’t pick and choose when to experience things. We can’t block some feelings and then feel others. We don’t have those options.

We’re either open to being and feeling everything, or closed, and feeling very little.

The amazing part of this is that being an open, feeling creature brings love into

your life! Because a man absolutely adores an open, feeling creature.

You know this to be a fact. You've seen it everywhere, you just haven't wanted to

be one of those “emotionally open” women!

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Remember this: Just because you're an open, feeling creature does not make you

stupid or brainless or silly. It makes you vulnerable, human, and incredibly

attractive to men.

This is why stopping your REACTION, and instead, experiencing this first Feeling

Tool, is the first step to turning your love life around.

What you'll notice as this scenario unfolds is

crucial.

Is there something about you or something

around you that's taking your attention and

making you feel slightly off balance or

unfocused?

Notice that.

Don't try to do anything about it, just notice

it.

If a man is in the room with you, let’s see what’s happening with him now that you’re feeling instead of stuffing or thinking….

What’s he doing? What’s he saying?

Take him and everything about what he's saying or doing IN.

Notice if your whole body is trying to reject him - his energy, his voice, his actions.

The next thing I did was to:

Step 2. Physically Step Away From Him…

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Normally, my instinct would be to fix things. To step forward. To explain myself.

To fix it.

To even touch him, or in some way “try to calm him down.”

And if you've ever tried that - you know it doesn't

work.

He can’t stand being touched when he's feeling ticked off.

He wants to be heard, even if he's triggering you!

So, stepping away from him, stepping backwards,

is incredibly counter-intuitive.

And yet, this creates an entirely new body language for you!

All of a sudden, your stepping back will automatically bring him forward. The

experience of that happening will actually feel shocking.

On Siren Island, what the coaches might have had me do is to imagine putting my

back to him in that situation.

They would literally put me back into that situation – have me feel it as though it’s happening right now - and have me stand up and step backwards.

By going through this experience with the coaches on Siren Island just by reading

their coaching and doing what they say as I read - I will have rehearsed the

experience and really “got” how great it feels!

And then, the next time this same situation happens (and you know it's always

going to keep happening!) my brain and my body will have practiced doing it this

new way.

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I’ll have an easier time stepping backwards instead of stepping forward, because I will have practiced it.

Now, the coaches would move me to Step Three.

And Step Three is even more challenging, because I would be encouraged to open

my mouth and speak…

…only, I would speak something completely different than what my whole self instinctively wants to say.

Step 3 - I Agreed

With Everything He

Said.

And – this is NOT being a “doormat” – or “people-pleaser,” or “just trying to keep the peace.”

This is not running away, backing down, giving in, giving up, or fading.

Agreeing with someone who’s “attacking” you is perhaps the oldest first step in the original Assertiveness Training for women!

Much of the time, as you'll discover on Siren Island, what a man is saying really

has nothing to do with you!

Somehow, something you’ve done has triggered him. It’s triggered his own bad feelings about himself.

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So by coming at you or distancing himself from you, he is literally trying to protect

and defend himself!

Normally, I would not have done the Step One and Step Two, and never even got

to Step Three with my man standing still – because my guy is a man who turns and walks away when he feels challenged. He's a withdrawer.

Sound familiar?

I would have first tightened up my whole body.

Then I would have stepped forward, and then I would have spoken a defensive

line.

By then, he would have backed away from me and walked away.

This time, however, I felt my feelings, I

stepped backwards, and by the time I

opened my mouth he was standing

closer to me than where he started

from!

What I said was nothing I can even

explain - it was gutteral, sighing, just

miserable sounds.

On Siren Island - I would have been

given those great guttural sounds of

emotion I instinctually made without

thinking - AND, I'd have been given

WORDS that would have brought him

even closer (words that I now know

how to use and can teach you...)

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Words like: "I...yes, it feels awful when I burn things. And it feels scary. And I feel

so defensive right now because I just want to not burn things. I want you to feel

proud of me. I feel like a two-year old. I can really feel what it must feel like to not

trust me..."

And then –

Step 4 – I felt HIM!

Now, in real life, I felt lost. I was amazed that my husband was still standing

there, completely forgetting about the burning "thing" and talking to me.

Smiling at me.

All of a sudden, I could see his eyes, and feel his emotions for me – instead of going numb.

Instead of seeing him in fog of my own self-judging

thoughts – he jumped out, clear, sending energy and love towards me.

I had to make a choice in that moment.

Either I was going to go back to the fog, shut down and

defend myself, or keep softening everything I was

aware of – my body, my mind, my heart.

Either I was going to push him away -or I was going to

let him in.

So…

Step 5 - I Let Him Feel Me - Emotionally

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I just allowed it to happen, even though it

felt all kinds of uncomfortable.

I felt scared. I felt angry. I felt myself shake.

I felt myself want to cower. I felt myself

WAY too “exposed…”

And that’s why HE felt drawn to me…

To him, I was suddenly like a soft cat.

*Maybe a kitten, maybe a lioness…

*Maybe purring, maybe dangerous…

*Maybe needing him, maybe able to fend

for myself just fine…

Men feel confused a lot of the time.

They don’t know who or how they are – much less who we are.

They try to guess what we need, and when they fail, they stop altogether and just

clam up.

Confusion makes them withdraw.

So – as you learn to SAY when you’re feeling confused, sad, angry, stuck, joyful, sexy, tied in knots or flat-out-tired – he is no longer confused.

He no longer has to guess.

His stress level goes down, and the circuit board of his brain starts to hum again.

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The most important thing here is that when you begin to SAY the “difficult things” – EVERYONE around you KNOWS, from their own experience, just how difficult that is. He KNOWS. He FEELS it.

He truly understands the courage it took for you to speak your inside truth to him

– and he sees you differently.

He sees you as a goddess of raw emotional power and bravery – and feels completely puffed-up proud and honored that you Let Him In.

He instantly feels trusted and loved.

Even if you’re feeling like a “poor creature” – just as I did – the moment you let him in, he experiences your courage and suddenly sees you as the awesome

woman you actually are.

To try out Siren Island for a full

7 days, all you gamble is $1!

After your 7 days are up, you’ll automatically get a full MONTH

of personal coaching on Siren

Island for $29 each month, or

you can simplybwrite me

personally to end your subscription.

You’ll be able to download the 6 Tools Manual, The Siren Island Guidelines Booklet, and experience being coached and “Scripted,” nearly 24/7.

Go here to try out Siren Island and get your “6 Tools”:



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See you there!

Love, Rori

rori raye...2018/10/05 · 2 5 steps to instant emotional intimacy rori raye 5 siren island steps...

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