Welcome welcome! It’s so good to see you! This is Ruth’s (un)Officially Wacky Boolprop Challenge, although you’ve probably already figured that out. We’re on Chapter 9 and are closing in on the Plot, such as it will be. I’d recap for you, but quite frankly, I’m terrible at recaps. If someone out there would like to be my recap writer, I am currently accepting applications. And now, on with our story!

To start off with, Buttercup has gone off to college. She Grew Up Well into an outfit that is certainly Wacky enough for her to keep – it’s just not yellow enough.

She’s already reconnecting with old friends – this is Louise Sanders; you may or may not remember her as one of the neighborhood kids that Buttercup introduced to bubbles in Chapter 6.

Buttercup is also doing her best to connect with possible new… friends. The gentleman in question is Albert Adams, Cousin Eddie’s friend who makes the funny faces. Somehow, Buttercup is always in the dining hall while Albert is eating. And they play a lot of chess. Or rather, they cheat at chess a lot. Two Nice points between them. (sigh)

On the home front, this is what’s left of the star that got the Tacky Flamingo up to Level 3. That’s my business goal for Generation Zero met! Of course, the problem with only just barely reaching a level is that you have to struggle to stay there. Since I have to play the business every day, I might as well try for a few more stars, just to be on the safe side. Er, that’s every Sim day, I’m assuming. If I have to play the business once every real day, I might as well give up on ever getting that nifty flamingo medal.

The Reporter did come around early on. Then she seemed to remember that she left her clothes at home, and hightailed it out of there before giving us a review. And speaking of flamingos…

Buttercup is following the OWBC rules at college, for what that’s worth, with three flamingos and a gnome at college. Okay, so one of the dormies seems to have lifted the gnome just at the moment. It was there.

Buttercup hasn’t actually gone to get it back herself yet, because other playables have gone to do it first. But she would have. (That’s Myrna Sanders, Louise’s twin, on the left and Albert on the right.) Rather pointless, really, since she’s not even the heir…

And some very good news: Ruth finished her book! Apparently, when you have nine Creativity points when you start writing, it takes less than forty Sim-hours. And it sells well, too! The book is called And Yet He Fled!: The Life and Times of an Elderly Ugly Lady, and it is a memoir of her time playing the contralto roles in various Gilbert & Sullivan operas. (The main title, of course, comes from one of Ko-Ko’s lines in The Mikado.) Ruth finished just in time for Oakapple’s birthday.

Oakapple Grew Up Pretty Okay, but of course he required a change of clothing stat. This family is Wacky, not Colorblind. Oakapple rolled Popularity. I swear, my game is trying to help me out with the Plot! Of course, then he rolled the Turn-Ons of Mechanical and Athletic and the Turn-Off of Blonde. So maybe it’s not helping out as much as all that…

Oakapple got a more farm-y makeover and the same full-face makeup his mother wore as a Teen. (It’s unisex, like jeans.) I’d’ve liked to have him in overalls, but oddly enough, there are no overalls for Teens. Is it just me, or does he look like Daniel Radcliffe in this shot?

While Oakapple was changing, Ruth exercised a mother’s prerogative and pried into Buttercup’s life. RUTH (V.O.): So, honey, have you… met anybody yet? BUTTERCUP (V.O.): Well, I thought I had. And then I asked him what he thought. ALBERT ADAMS: No. I don’t find you even remotely attractive. I really wish you hadn’t brought it up. Now things are going to be all awkward. Excuse me. BUTTERCUP (V.O.) (half-wails): I don’t know what I’m doing wrong! What do I have to change to make him like me?

RUTH: Oh, honey, don’t ever change who you are for a man! Just be yourself, and someday somebody will see you for the wonderful person that you really are. Maybe not this guy, but someone will. I promise! BUTTERCUP: But I know he likes me! We’re best friends. He just doesn’t like me like me. How can I make him look at me that way? What did you do to make Dad notice you? RUTH: …I have no earthly clue.

During Oakapple’s party, the gnome was stolen, and like a good boy (or at least a Mean one), Adam went out to get it back. The problems started when he came home.

RUTH: Adam, honey? What’s wrong? OLD ADAM: I do not know, Mama. I came over dizzy for a moment. (shakes his head briefly) There – it has passed. Which way was I going? RUTH: You were going into the house. Are you okay? Did something happen while you were getting the gnome back? OLD ADAM: O, nothing worth mentioning. The fellow who had stolen it was not inclined to give it up. We had a bit of a tussle. RUTH (concerned): A “tussle”? Why? We could have had Dad get it back in the morning. Was anyone hurt? OLD ADAM: O, I shouldn’t think he was hurt much, Mama. He was dead already. He bit my hand a little, but I truly think that was an accident. RUTH: He bit you?! OLD ADAM: Only a little. (yawns) My, I am very tired tonight. RUTH: Let me see.

RUTH: It looks like he broke the skin. We should get you to the hospital. OLD ADAM: It is nothing, Mama. It barely even bled. RUTH: What if he had rabies? You need shots. And we need to report this to the police. OLD ADAM: (raises his voice slightly) Papa? When I went to retrieve our gnome, a redheaded dead fellow in a cape bit me. (lowers his voice) There, Mama, I have reported it. In the morning, I will go to the hospital and have all the shots you like, although I am quite certain that he was not rabid; his eyes were not glowing. But for the moment, I am dreadfully tired, and I just need to sleep. Please. RUTH (doubtfully): Okay… but if you start feeling bad at all, you holler, okay? OLD ADAM: Yes, Mama.

Adam didn’t holler during the night. He didn’t holler in the morning, either. Oakapple was the one who did that. OAKAPPLE (panicked): Mom! Dad! Something’s wrong with Adam! Come quick! OLD ADAM (sleepily): Huh? What are you talking about, Oakapple? And why is it so bright in here?

It’s hard to be a nocturnal teenager in a diurnal world. Once Adam became a vampire, his days were spoken for, but his nights were pretty empty. He filled them with schoolwork and with reading up on his new medical condition.

OLD ADAM: “His face was a strong – a very strong – aquiline, with high bridge of the thin nose and peculiarly arched nostrils; with lofty domed forehead, and hair growing scantily round the temples but profusely elsewhere. His eyebrows were very massive, almost meeting over the nose, and with bushy hair that seemed to curl in its own profusion. The mouth, so far as I could see it under the heavy moustache, was fixed and rather cruel-looking, with peculiarly sharp white teeth; these protruded over the lips, whose remarkable ruddiness showed astonishing vitality in a man of his years.”* Oh! I shall begin to grow my hair out immediately, and must cultivate a moustache at my earliest opportunity. *Bram Stoker, Dracula. (New York: The Modern Library, 1996), 19-20.

Adam could have spent time on the pool table or the robot bench, I suppose, but I did say that Oakapple would get equal time at both, and I’m a man of my word. Well, a woman of my word, actually, but you know what I mean.

Like his mother and brother, Oakapple got the xylophone trick on the third try. I’d think it was pre-programmed to happen on the third try if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve had some Sims try for three years of college (or twenty-one days) before getting the hang of it.

Ryan’s birthday party was delayed until evening so that Adam could attend. Buttercup came home from college again, and everyone cheered and clapped and blew noisemakers and all that fun stuff. OAKAPPLE: How are we supposed to eat cake without any forks? I’ll be right back. Well, almost everyone. I didn’t bother buying Elder clothing for Ryan because 99% of the male Eaxian Elder outfits are more than Wacky enough to suit me. And then he grows up into something that’s actually decent. Phooey!

RYAN: Honey, is everything okay? BUTTERCUP: Sure, Dad. Why do you ask? RYAN: Well, your new look is very different. You kind of look like a dealer. You aren’t a dealer, are you? BUTTERCUP (laughs merrily): Oh, Dad, really! What do you think? RYAN: Ah. So why did you change it up, if you don’t mind me asking? BUTTERCUP: Well, I like the yellow, but the kimono just wasn’t me anymore. This seemed fun. So I thought I’d give it a whirl. Hey, what did Mom do that made you notice her? RYAN: Came down to breakfast without a bra on. Twenty-year-old boys really aren’t that complicated. BUTTERCUP: Yeah, well, I tried that. Hence the hair.

And whaddya know? It worked! ALBERT: Wow, Buttercup! I like the new look. It really suits you. BUTTERCUP: Yeah, I thought so. I can make anything look good, can’t I? ALBERT: You look like someone who might know where I could acquire some, ah, party supplies, maybe? BUTTERCUP (suspiciously): Wait – you’re not just complimenting me to try and get a discount, are you? Assuming I have any party supplies in the first place. Obviously, the university has hired the same decorator who created the look of the Tacky Flamingo to redo the student lounge.

Now, Oakapple is an observant sort of guy, for a certain highly specific and self-centered value of “observant,” and after watching the girls at school, he did some research of his own about vampires. OAKAPPLE: “The Gloaming, by Sophie Mayer. Chapter One.”

Then he did some shopping. Which leaves us all set for college and its attendant Plot. I hope you won’t be too disappointed.

Notes, disclaimers, and other trivia Buttercup and Albert is not the Plot. The Plot involves the heir, and it isn’t Buttercup. Patience, dear readers, patience. The title of this chapter is taken from a rather dull song in Ruddigore that feels much longer than it actually is. It’s about ghosts having a party, not about vampires, but it’s as close as I can get since there are no Gilbert & Sullivan operas that involve vampires. Ghosts and witches, yes. Fairies, yes. Sorcerers, yes. Poets, yes. Heck, even lawyers! But no vampires. On the other hand, some of their scathing and roaringly hilarious parodies of popular fads don’t translate so well for modern readers. Which are all the hints you’re getting. Until next time, Happy Simming!