safe date notes relationship – a bond or connection you have with other people
TRANSCRIPT
SAFE DATE NOTES
RELATIONSHIP – A BOND OR CONNECTION YOU HAVE WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
RELATIONSHIPS ARE ‘SOCIAL’ COMMITMENTS. WHAT ARE SOME TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE POSSIBLE?
WHO MIGHT YOU HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH?
THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENCE TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS:
• FAMILY
• FRIENDSHIPS
• CASUAL
• ROMANTIC
SPORT TEAMS
YOUTH GROUPS
RELIGIOUS GROUPS
ROLE – HOW YOU BEHAVE OR ACT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
YOU HAVE A CERTAIN ROLE IN EACH OF THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS - CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS AND BEHAVIORS.
Child Employee
Student Neighbor
Athlete
Sister or brother
Partner
FRIENDSHIP
A SIGNIFICANT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE BASED ON TRUSTCARINGCONSIDERATIONRESPECTHONESTY
HOW DO YOU CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS?
One of Maslow’s basic human needs is
TO BELONG AND BE LOVEDINTIMACY refers to a feeling of close attachment and belonging together. Types:
Physical Emotional CognitiveExperiential
Intimacy results from a close bond formed through knowledge and experiences with the other.
3 types of communication styles
Aggressive = being overly forceful. It might involve bullying or intimidation. Not paying attention to other’s feelings or needs.
Passive = being unwilling or unable to express thoughts or feelings. Putting other’s needs ahead of your own.
Assertive = expressing your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. Standing up for your rights while respecting others.
PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
HITTING SCRATCHING
PUSHING BITING
CHOKING SHAKING
PUNCHING PINCHING
RAPING SPITTING
SHOVING PULLING HAIR
EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS
Ignoring a partner’s feelings
Insulting a partner’s values and beliefs
Acting in an intimidating way
Calling a date names
Isolating a partner from friends or family
Acting jealous or spreading rumors
EMOTIONAL ABUSE (continued)Scaring a partner
Keeping a partner from leaving
Humiliating a partner in public or private
Telling lies
Threatening to hurt oneself or partner
Damaging a partner’s property
HARMFUL BEHAVIORS BECOME ABUSE WHEN . . .THEY ARE USED TO:
MANIPULATE another person
GAIN CONTROL or POWER of someone
Make YOU FEEL BAD about YOURSELF or OTHERS
Make YOU FEEL AFRAID of your partner
Make someone FEEL GUILTY
PROGRESSIONNo relationship is perfect. There
may be feelings of confusion, anger, or jealousy-this is normal in relationships.
EMOTIONAL ABUSE MIGHT NOT BE “ABUSIVE” IF ONLY DONE ONCE.
BUT . . . IT BECOMES A PROBLEM WHEN…..
THESE ACTIONS HAPPEN MORE THAN ONCE AND BECOME A REGULAR
BEHAVIOR IN THE RELATIONSHIP.
AND WHEN USED TO MANIPULATE , CONTROL OR MAKE SOMEONE FEEL
BAD.
Why do people abuse?
PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE ACTS
PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE FEELS
PEOPLE ABUSE TO CONTROL THE WAY SOMEONE THINKS
SHORT TERM Consequences of abuse
Getting into trouble with school or law
Feeling intimidated or afraid
Feeling bossed or controlled
Get physically injured
Being humiliated or upset
Feelings of guilt, anger, or confusion
LONG TERM Consequences of abuse
• Losing friends and being isolated
• Criminal charges or jail time
• Becoming depressed, feelings of suicide
• Withdraw and isolate self
• Not trust future relationships
• Believe it is normal behavior
Barriers to Getting HelpFear of hurting their dating partner
Fear of getting into trouble with one’s parents
Fear of being blamed or not believed
Fear of retaliation from abusive partner
Fear of being judged
Embarrassment
Not knowing HOW to improve the situation
SAFE SKILLS FOR BUILDING EQUAL POWER THROUGH COMMUNICATION
S Stay calm- use calming strategies to feel cool and collected
A Ask questions – Ask honest and open questions to better understand the situation
F Find out feelings – Find out how the other person feels about the situation that is causing the disagreement
E Exchange ideas for a possible solution