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8/9/2019 Sample Spage

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LISA MUST-USE

Lisa wonders i shes got what it takes to be a teacher. In theend she decides shes not cut out or teaching.

| NOT MUCH OF(ME TEACHER)| THINGS (BAD EXPLAIN)| NEED TO DO (TEACHER KNOW EXPLAIN)| WHAT ELSE (ME DO?)

She starts to think o teaching as a all-back option in casenothing better comes along.

| FIGURE (FIRST: EASY)| SEE IF(WAIT COME UP)| AROUND TOWN (DAYS WALK)| NOT BE USED TO (DRINK BEER HELL)| NOT UNTIL (OFTEN BED NOON)

Te way I see it, youwant the rainbow, you

gotta put up with therain.

ERRORS GALORE

Pauls old riend Jean happens to be visiting Czechia and he

decides to surprise Paul with a phone call.

S Your cousin is SO OLD MAN? I dont know him,I think. HOW IS HE LIKE? Is he some NORMAL MANor amous, SAME LIKE your dad?

S He VERY MUCH changed IN THE LAST TIME.It STARTED TO BE quite hard to talk with him.

S meet | regular | lately | get

S EXACTLY THIShappens IN this age to ALL, I think.TO MY BROTHER HAPPENED the same.S But he was SO SYMPATHETIC man and AT PRESENT

he USE TO only sit and LOOK AT TV.

S thats what | cool | these days | all

S Yes, ITS STUPID. I dont WANT THAT IT HAPPENME. So WILL BE SOME big party?

S Yes.THERE IS already everything arranged.I am sorry that I cant stay here.

S too bad | there is | wish

A COUPLE GETS DIVORCED Hey everyone, can I have yourattention or a moment? I have an announcement to make.You may have heard that my wie Suzanne and I are getting di-vorced. Oh, dont act like you had no idea. You knew very wellwhat wasgoing on. Suzanne and I have been growing apartor years and by nowthe marriage is beyond saving.

This was bound to happen sooner or later. It was a long timecoming. It turned out that the two o us are too dierent tokeep this relationship goingor much longer. In act, you could

say that it was never going to work and that we shouldnt havegotten married in the rst place. But you know what they say,you cant always get what you want.

Obviously, the divorce will be hard on the kids, but it beatshaving to watch your parents ght all the time. Because thatswhats been happeningoverthe past couple o years. We hateto put our kids through all this. But theyre tired o dealingwith it and so are we. Weve both done our best to keep upappearances and pretend that everythings fne or as long aswe could. But reality just kept getting in the way.

It got to a point where the kids couldnt ignore it anymore. They

had to take sides and thats when we decided to call it quits.Even though the children made it clear to us that they wantedus to try and work things out, they soon realized that this wasvery unlikely. We told them we are going to take turns withthem and they seem fne with that. Were both perectly capableo taking care o children so its not a big deal.

I also want you to know that things are fne between me andmy wie so theres no need to eel sorry oreithero us. Su-zanne and I will get alongfne despite the mess that we gotourselves into. There are no hard eelings and no grudges. Itheres a problem, we will be preparedjoin orces to sort it out.

Let me make one more thingperectly clearto everybody.

I dont eel bad about the waywe handled this and neitherdoes Suzanne. Runninga household in which people dont talkto each other is a struggle and its just not worth ghting or.Well both be better o this way. Dont worry about either ous havinga hard time coping. I assure you, its not happening.We are both responsible adults and weve had time to get usedto the idea olivingapart.

Now, you must be wonderingwhich o us gets to keep thehouse. Well, that hasnt been decided yet. Were going to giveit some time so that we dont make a decision that were go-ing to regret. In the meantime Ill be stayingat Norms place.Norm, I owe you big.

As or my plans, I havent made up my mind yet as to what mynext step is going to be. EitherIll rent a place in the city or Illmove to Dallas. I quit my job today, by the way, and rankly, itsa huge relie. Where Im going to get a job that pays as well,thats not a major worryright now. Im basically starting overand I want you all to be happy orme. I mean, us.

There will be a goodbye party next Saturday and youre allinvited. Dont bring gits, unless youve got one or each o us.Feel ree to bring booze, though.Take care and Im lookingorward to seeingyou all soon.

THE STORY OF A COMPANY Runninga company is a tough

job. Not only does it drain you mentallyand unnerve you, butit also makes you lose weight, gives you ulcers, keeps yourom spendingquality time with your amily and it can get youin big trouble with the law. When you fnally decide to bailout, youre luckyi youre still alive and have a amily and someriends let.


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SPECIALPAGE38/38ABOUT A GIRL

When people ask me to help them with something thatthey think Im good at, Im always araid Ill steer them

wrong.

FILL-IN (14)

ADAM: Adam had to get up early, littlething. we didnt have his laptop ( iswhat he uses or an alarm) we had both oour phone alarms. Normally when the alarmgoes , I my fngers through his hairor his back. This time I pushed him and ,time to get up. He must have where thatsweet girl had gone. Well, that girl was tiredand not to get up. Adam dressed, satdown to me (i he didnt, it upset me) andkissed me .

S DEAD | LAST | MATTER | MIGHT |MUMBLE | RUB | SINCE | TEMPT

YOGA: the time I arrived the classthe instructor already introduced hersel.I remember there was a girl Gail andtwo people names I didnt . I knowthem later on in the class but that onhow long I (or them, or that ). Theinstructor asked me i I back problems.I said no, that I know o. I was to add thatI expect to be some the yoga progresses,but then I thought Id better that to mysel.

GISTS MM

Dvacetkrt si nahlas eknte otzku what is she supposedto do? Devatenctkrt what do you want them to do?trnctkrt what do we do? Jedenctkrt what am I goingto do? Cel opakujte tikrt

Vechny varianty pouvejte, a to zhruba podlensledujcho receptu: be supposed to pro esk takov jepln / tohle se oekv; want me to v nabdkch pomoci;jednoduch otzky s do v ppad bezradnostiohledndalho postupu; budoucbe going to pro polozoualotzky typu a jak mm jako?

Zkrcenou otzku typuYou want me to? mjte neustlepo ruce (podobn jako napklad spojenMind i I?) aukonete tak trpen chadnoucho shall I?

You never really hear

the truth rom yoursubordinates untilaer 10 in the evening.

VERBI ET ORBI (10)

S bite | warn | threaten | blow up | wipe | say | sign |belong | ft in

|Trenr chce, abych ti ukousnul ucho,ber to jakovarovn.|Ten mladk hrozil, e ns vechnyvyhoddo vzduchu.| On vs podal, abyste ten npis seteli?Co na nm bylo?| Nepodepisujme to. My tam nepatme,nezapadli bychom.

S build | measure | burn | put out | throw up |burst | bury | take

| Postavtu tyi dal obchodky. U to tady m.

|Jak rychle hotenhle papr? Jak se ten ohe pak uhas?| Zrovna jsem v aut zvracel, kdy praskla pneumatika.| Chtl bys, aby t pohbili v moi? Tovyaduje ppravu.

ZEPTEJTE SE MARY

| kolikrt se jim podailo se od t doby potkat| kdy se to zlepa jestlivbec nkdy|jestli byse Mary lbilo, kdyby se u nevidly| kolikje vc, o kterch se mou bavit


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LISA SPIN-OFF

SOUR GRAPES (2) Two young sales clerks are standing inan aisle in a shopping mall, eavesdropping on Mary andLisa.

S I also wish TO go to Europe. But I THINK I WILL NOTGO, not in this lie, WHAT is kind o sad. ONLY IF I wina lottery or something.

S FOR ME IT IS SIMILAR. Looks like we WILL STUCKin this job until we die.

S Thats a really scary thought. DONT WE talk about it!S Whatever. We should START TO WORK TO MOPthe foor. I cant aordTO FIRED right now.

S same here | not unless | lucky | same here |keep | get busy | age | whatever

S Its weird, though. I mean, theyre SO OLD LIKE WE.And theyre going to Europe. HOW IS IT POSSIBLETHAT were working so MUCH in such a crummy joband those two just do ALL WHAT they want to do.

S THE LIFE is not air, USED TO IT. Well BE HAPPY IFWE CAN STAY IN this damn job.

Te cream rises to thetop. So does the scum.

ERRORS DEBUGGED

Pauls old riend Jean happens to be visiting Czechia and hedecides to surprise Paul with a phone call.

S Your cousin is such an old guy? I dont thinkIve met him. What is he like? Is he just a regularguy or is he amous like your dad?

S Actually, he has changed a lot lately.Hes gettingharder and harderto talk to.

S Thats what happens to everyone at that age.The same thing happened to my brother.

S thats too bad (thats a shame) | I would hate it i that

happened to me | its all set

S He used to be such a nice guy, though.These days all he does is sit around and watch TV.S That sucks. I dont want that to happen to me.So is there going to bea big party?

S Yep. Everything has been set up. I wish I couldstay here and talk to you but

I was resh out o college when I got talked into startingmyown business. The guy who roped me into it insisted it wasa oolproo plan. He made it sound like a surere way tobecome rich. I Id suspected that the guy would get cold eetsoon ater and leave me hanging, I would have run. But he wasvery persuasive and he didnt look like someone who chickensout at the frst sign o trouble. Also, Im a sucker orpeoplewho have a way with words. Ater a ew discussions overdrinks I was hooked.

The plan was to make spare parts or car-makers. It madesense and it didstrike me as a proftable venture so I said tocount me in. Ive had a lot o time to regret the decision. Thereason the other guy eventually quit on me was because hehad three other projects going. He explained that he wasaraid he would be spreading himsel too thin. Ater hejumped ship, it was let to me to get the company o theground and make it grow and expand.

We did pretty well at rst, getting a lot o business rom car-makers who put their aith in our ability to produce things onthe cheap. Thankully, there was plenty o skilled laborin theregion so we could take our pick and not settle orsecond-rate

workers. We were gettingapplications not only orentry-levelpositions and menial jobs, but also rom highly-skilled proes-sionals. These people didnt need to be trained, meaningnoextra costs, which was a signicantsaving.

For a while things looked up and I became condent that wecould actually pull this o. At one time I got so carried awaythat I started to think o our actory as sort o a mom-and-popbusiness where people trust each other and dont mind work-ing late or takingpay cuts when things go bad. Then somemajor dealswent wrongand as a result we had to let a ewpeople go. It broke my heart to see them pack up their stuand walk away, but it had to be done.

Then the real crisis came and hit us hard. We began losingbusiness as car actories started going belly-up. First we had tocut salaries and then lay oa dozen more workers. We simplycouldnt aord to pay people to stay home, twiddling theirthumbs and waitingorthings to get better. Even ater wegot rid o all the dead weight, we struggled to keep our headabove water.

Ourcompetitors didnt make it any easieror us, either. Theyactually went and persuaded some o the workers who hadbeen red that they should sue us. It was clear that they wereout to put us out o business or good. It took a lot o eortand some underhanded tactics on my part to make them drop

the charges. By then it was too late, though. The damage hadbeen done.

Every day I ound mysel rustrated to learn o deals that wereo orunlikelyto materialize. When a customer canceled onus I didnt hold it against them. I knew they were all in a toughspot. None o us was in the business o providing charity. Weall had to look ater number one frst. What kept me awakeat nights was that our creditors wouldnt go away. We oweda lot o money at that point that we had no way o payingback. I hired some experts to think o a way to lose the debtswithout declaring bankruptcy. These guys cost me a ortunebut ailed to come up with anything that had any real chanceo working out.

So thats where we are right now, just muddling through,barelymaking ends meet and deliveringmore promises thanprots. As i all that werent enough, weve had to deal withthe IRS, who seem to think that we cooked the books in the


5/6

SPECIALPAGE40/40ABOUT A GIRL

I would love to go to the Olympics, either winter orsummer. Its a dream o mine and I hope to make it come

true one day. Not anytime soon, though.

FILL-IN (15)

TEACHING: The teachers all hated their jobsand -smoked and talked about . Theytold me that basically the school was bythe parents and you had to up to themi you wanted to hold to your job. itbecame that this was in act the ,I fgured, that. I let and am now starting myown . I have no , except maybe I wishId teaching much sooner than that.

S CASE | ONCE | RETIRE | SCREW

CAR DOOR: Yesterday I into a fght withsomeone in a parking . Im sitting in mycar, my voice-mail, and o a sudden I eelsomeone crash door into the side o my car.I see this chick out o her car and walkingaway as nothing happened. I am usuallypretty mild-mannered (with everyone myhusband) but something came me.I marched out o the car and up with the girl.I said, Excuse me, you just hit my car yourdoor. She looked at me wide-eyed and said,I did not! This just me see .

GISTS JIN

Nepouvejte anothers mnonm slem ani samotnothers jednotnm: I dont care about another girls, I careabout you/there was other man there, too

eskjinje obas nutn pekldat slovem dierent,obzvlt je-li pouito samostatn: shes not l ike her sister,shes diferent

Co je mon nejpodstatnj: nezapomnejte, e ve spojense slovy jako someone /nowhere /everything/what/who se pouv else: but no one other knew/well, whatelse can we do?

Te uture isnt what itused to be.

OUT LOUD & INQUIRY (5)

Luckily, it turns out the job isnt as hardas I thought it would be.

I guess Im pretty much done here,unless theres another task.

The short flms are almost good enoughto be sold on their own.

My wies not willing to work on themarriage and neither am I.

Tina uses her cell in the car, and sodoes everyone else in LA.

I dont mind paying or it as long as it works,but what i it doesnt?

THE BELLY SOUND: Whats the word or thesound that your belly makes ater a really gooddinner? Whats it called? You know what Imtalking about, right? Does the sound even have

a name? Theres a word or it in Czech. I justwonder what its called in English.


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LISA KEYWORDS

Lisa shows up in Toms class to talk to his students.First she and Tom set some ground rules.

| NICE SEE, GOOD COME| TOO, INVITE! FORWARD HELP| LATE? NO WAIT?| OK, SOON, QNA: OK?

| YES: REASON, STUDENTS?| TALK: WONDER, PROMISE

When the students come in, Lisa introduces herseland starts talking.

| HI, MEET, TALK + ASK| WANT 90S, 2 YEARS

Im tough, ambitious,

and I know exactlywhat I want. I thatmakes me a bitch, fne.Sometimes you have tobe a bitch to get things

done.ERRORS ULTIMATE TEST

S Tvj bratrnek je tak star chlap? J ho myslm neznm.S Jakje? Normlnkluk, nebo slavnjako tvj otec?

S Posledndobou se hodn zmnil. Je mdl tsi s nm vykldat.

S To se v tom vku stvvem. Mmu brchovi

se stalo tosam.S On ale bval skvl lovk.Jedin, co te dl, je,e um na televizi.

S To je naprd. Tak bych nechtl skonit.Bude njak velk verek?

S Vechno je u pichystan. Je mn lto,e tu nemu zstat, ale

past and avoided paying taxes. Provingwe did nothing wrongis a hassle and a very time-consumingone.

Sometimes I catch mysel wishingI hadnt listened to theguy back when we rst started. I nevershould have gotteninvolved, I think to mysel. Sure, when its good its good. Butwhen things go south in this business, you dont want to bethere.

HARVEY PEKAR, A LIFE Hey there. My name is Harvey Pekar.Chances are, you have never heard o me ormy work. Butdont let that botheryou. This is a good time to catch up. Asyou can probably tellbymy last name, my ancestors cameto the States rom Eastern Europe. But neithermy mom normy dad everbothered to tell me what country exactly, so Imguessingit was eitherPoland orCzechoslovakia. I make myliving drawingcartoons. Not cartoon strips like you see innewspapers. No, I write actual books or long stories based onmy lie and character.

Speaking o my character, Im not an easy guy to get alongwith, let alone live with.There have been a lot o ups anddowns in my lie, like in most peoples. Actually, now that

I think about it, there havent been that many ups. Most o thetime, my lie has stunk. It wasnt too good to start with and itpretty much went downhill ever since. There were times whenI seriously thought o checking out altogether, you know, kill-ing mysel, just getting it over with. I dont really know whatstopped me.

Ive been married three times. My frst two wives let me be-cause they couldnt takeany more o my constantworrying.

They said they were tired o hearing me grumble all the timeabout howthe moneys running out and how were goingbroke and how Im at the end o my rope, unable to cope. Ima worrier, theyre right about that. Now, its nothing that Imtoo proud o, but at the same time theres not much that I can

do about it.

Then again, Im pretty rank about my faws and shortcomings.I nothing else, I deserve some credit or that. I dont mind de-scribingmysel as a cheapskate because thats the kind o per-son I am. For instance I hate spending money on well, I hatespending money, period. As a cartoonist, I dont really makea whole lot o money anyway. There are people out there wholove my books but there arent enough o them or me to makea comortable living.

What this means is that I am constantlyworried about goingbroke. The way I deal with the stress is by panicking orwhin-

ingto anyone who will listen. You might say that I respondto a crisis by turning into a major pain in the ass. Like I said,my frst two wives ound this too much to stomach and theywalked out on me. I couldnt really blame them, to be honest.

Im living with my third wie now. Shes an angel, she really is.Shed better be, too, because I havent changed a bit. Im stillthe same ass Ive always been, only more so. By nowmy wiemust have gured out that theres no point in trying to changeme. Shes had to put up with a lot, poor thing, and every oncein a while I fnd mysel eeling amazed that she hasnt kickedme out yet. I she does one day, Ill be the frst one to congratu-late heron makingthe right decision.

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