sapient - communicate powerfully (without being a you-know-what)
TRANSCRIPT
(Without Being A You-Know-What)
withMichelle Villalobos(vee - ya - low - bos)
CommunicatePowerfully
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1. Establish Your Brand
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Are you known for where you’re GOING
or for where you’ve BEEN?4
Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.
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“No matter what she
accomplishes or how she
reinvents herself to the
public, she'll always be the
first lady of scandal.”
By Piper Weiss, Shine Staff | Love + Sex – Wed, Aug 17, 2011 10:34 PM EDT
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The Lewinsky Effect: If you don’t brand yourself, then others will do it for you.
Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.
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“It’s not WHAT you know.It’s not even WHO you know.
It’s who knows YOU... and what they say about you
when you’re not around.”
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Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830
• talk show host?• home & entertaining expert?• dog trainer?• child-care expert?• martyr?• satanic rocker? • dirty politician?
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this is what people SEE
HOW YOU LIVEWhat you say
& do
WHAT YOU WANTFuture Goals &
Objectives
WHAT YOU BELIEVE INPrinciples & Values
WHY ARE YOU HERE?Purpose
WHO ARE YOU?Innate Passions,
Talents & Interests
this is what determines your brand
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
“Regardless of age, regardless of position,
regardless of the business we happen to be in,
all of us need to understand the importance of branding.
We are CEOs of our own companies:
Me Inc. To be in business today, our most important
job is to be head marketer
for the brand called You.”– Tom Peters, “The Brand Called YOU”
1997
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What do YOU want to be TOP OF MIND for?
Can you articulate it?
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What are 5 things you could do right away to become
“top-of-mind” for that?
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2. Know Your Audience
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Shift Context
I wantWhat do THEY want?
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Personality Type
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rubies sapphiresDIRECTORS PROMOTERS
emeraldsANALYZERS
pearlsNURTURERS
FAST
pac
eRE
LAX
ED p
ace
TASK-oriented PEOPLE-oriented
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10 minutes to learn...A lifetime to master
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Want a deeper analysis? Look at:
Myers-Briggs (MBTI)
DISC Assessment
Kiersey Temperament Sorter
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Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.
3. Look the part
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Standing out – appropriately – from the crowd
helps you stay top of mind. Look UP at the top people in your field and get inspired by them.
Then add your own twist.
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Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830
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Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830
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what do you notice?
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4. Communicate Powerfully
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The way you say things is, like, important?
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Do you ask for permission to speak up?
Can I ask a question?
I just want to add one thing
Would you mind if I said something?
I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind
May I add something?40
“I”
blame you for issues that aren’t yours childish
takes focus off the facts
not effective leadership (it’s not about you)
often leads to “psychobabble”
* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.
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“I don’t have enough time to complete that job”
* How To Say It For Women Phyllis Mindell, Ed.D.
“I like the way you closed that deal”
“I noticed that the office wasn’t cleaned up”
“You forgot to send me that email”
“I feel good about this project”
“For the job to be done right, it requires more time”
“Well done on that deal”
“The office wasn’t cleaned up last night”
“I didn’t receive your email”
“This project will be great for business”
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“Infractions:” Passive, Rambling, Verbal Filler, Qualifiers, Hedges
“I may be wrong but what if we try a new
approach? I was thinking, you know, maybe we could, um, find a
partner or something, you know to help us grow our mailing list. Maybe I could call a few people that I know. I don’t
know, what do you think?” kie josiuel lk asj kdi ko oudu lki, reit
kci,wii, oieru iyd klkea loi leoop nckeadlfjad ieu loo keuu eioci klle leyuc ckelk lke
as eec eae ree clkj elkj sld fkjds adlk fja....
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instead try
“um”passive voice
“feel”“I”
fillers
pausingactive voice
stating the facts3rd person
pauses
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DramaticThe Pause
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Qualifiers & Hedges
onlyjust
you knowreally
in my opinionsort ofkind of
apparentlyI’m not an expert, butI may not be qualified,
butbut
maybeI guess
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“psychobabble”rambling & nervous chatter
“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction”
and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”
“I feeeeel...”
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“To Be” = Weak
I am (was, will be...)
You are (were, will be)
We are (were, will be)
They are (were, will be)
I am the leader of a team
You are responsible for sales
We are the managers of...
They were helping the kids...
I lead
We manage
They helped
________________
_______________
______________
You oversee
sales
_______________
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AchieveAdvanceConductConsultCommitCoordinateDevelopDeliverDesignDefineDevoteEarnEnhanceEvaluateExamineExtendFacilitate
FormulateFulfillForecastGenerateGainGatherHeadHostIdentifyImplementImproveImproviseInfluenceLaunchLeadLobbyMaintain
ManageMarketedMaximizedMediatedMotivateNegotiateObtainOperateOrganizeOriginateOverseeParticipatePerformPioneerPlanPreparePresent
PromotePublishPursueRankUpdateRedesignReengineerReorganizeRepresentRestructureReviseSafeguardSecureSpecifySpearheadStandardizeStrengthen
StructureSuggestSupersedeSuperviseTargetTeach/TaughtTestTrainTransformTranscendUnifyUpgradeUtilizeValidateValueWrite
effective action verbs...
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“feel”50
“One way to
grow a list is to
partner with others
and offer a benefit in
return. I know a
few I can call.
Thoughts?”
Direct, to the point, assertive (without being aggressive), inviting
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Hold your ground (politely)
*Phyllis Mindel, PhD How To Say It For Women
Excuse me
Please allow me to finish...
I’m not finished
I’m not quite finished...
Please hold any comments until I’m done
Please hold your questions until the end
Just a moment...
Interruptions break my train of thought, please allow me to finish...
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Be LOUD
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Have you ever noticed?How some people talk like they’re asking a question?
Most don’t even realize they do it?
In flection
RECORD YOURSELF.
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“Thanks for doing such a great job. Really, thanks.
“It’s not like you do anything anyways.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Everything is great. Just perfect.”
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5. Live The “Jessica Phenomenon”
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg59
MirrorNeurons
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Are you focused on a negative outcome?
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6. Set Boundaries!
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“Pathological Volunteerism”
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Parkinson’s Law *“Work expands so as
to fill the time available for its completion.”
Perhaps you recognize this phenomenon (or its corollaries)?
A note before proceeding...
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Data expands to fill the space available for storage.
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Studies show that if you LIMIT the time available for a task,
you REDUCE the amount of time that task takes AND improve results!
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Proof: “The Vacation Phenomenon”
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
“Treat every day like it's
the day before
vacation, and you will get more work
done!”- Zig Ziglar
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In other words, if you FIRST determine what your “hard limits” are in terms of TIME, you will be more focused
and produce BETTER results in the (shorter)
time you allot for work.
All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
LIFESTYLE
Income
Stability
CharityPeace of mind
Free time
FunSupp
ort
Hobbies
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
“Art Time”
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Establish Priorities What are your top 3 priorities in
life? Write them down.
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Create Parameters Write down ONE commitment you can put into your CALENDAR for
each of those 3 priorities.
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Examples
•Family Time ------------> No working on weekends - Dinner with family every Tu/Wed
•Hobbies -----------------> Set aside 8 hours/week to paint Ride horses 2 mornings/week
•Peace of Mind --------> Meditate every day - 30 min
•Romance ---------------> “Date Night”
•Health --------------------> Eat breakfast & lunch every day; yoga Mon/Wed 5:30
•Organize ----------------> Monday =“errands&admin” day
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
Homework: Schedule! Put them into your calendar and HONOR THEM!! You may
have to “enroll” a few people first...
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All Content Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc., 2009. All Rights Reserved. To reprint or repurpose for commercial use, please contact Michelle at http://www.mivistaconsulting.com
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hey, got a minute?
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7. Say
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(k)notty wordscan not
could notshould not
do notwould not
rephrase with what you DO want
or WILL do
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Stuff
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Practice!!
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8. Understand Non-Verbal Cues
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Eye contact
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Eye contact is the most basic form of
human interaction... even newborns do it
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Handshakes establish equality between two people.
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The “Dainty” Handshake
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The Limp Handshake
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Eye contactBody position
PalmsFacial
expression=
Her: I’m angry, I don’t want to hear what you
say or even look at you
Him: I have nothing to hide, you can trust me, please listen
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Eye contactHands touchingHead positionBody position
=Man 1: I’m angry, I’m
on the offensive, I have proof, look at
me!
Man 2: I’m sooooo over this, I can’t stand
it. Please go away and leave me in peace.
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Eye contactBody positionHands/arms
Touching faceUsage of space
= We are mentally
checked out and don’t care that she
knows it - she doesn’t even deserve the most
basic respect.
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Does your body
language say “I’m too
busy for you”? That’s one surefire way to turn
people off...
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1
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9. Promote Yourself
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“Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt Your Career” © 2008 by CATALYST
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Volunteer For High Profile Projects, Assignments & Teams
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How do you respond to compliments?
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10. Build Your Network
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Create ALLIANCES & PARNERSHIPS
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People LOVE talking about other people. Are you MANAGING what they’re saying about YOU?
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Relationship Killers
• lack of contact
• one-sidedness
• self-interest
• neglect
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Relationship Growers
• availability
• contact
• trust
• listening
• honesty
• mutual benefit
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Everyone needs
cheerleaders & mentors
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Recap
•1 instance where you SHOULD have communicated more powerfully? What could you have done differently?
•1 instance where your communication ESCALATED a situation, made it WORSE?
•Situations?
•Triggers?
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Committments.
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Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.
www.MichelleVillalobos.com
Or just Google me!
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