sayyidah maymuna

8/22/2019 Sayyidah Maymuna

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Compiled by: Syed Amjid Khatam Sharif 30th

May 2013 Page 1 of13

Khatam SharifIn Honour of the VenerableUmmul Muminin

Sayyidah Maymuna

O the wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women

(33:32)

Ya Ummul Muminin, what is the reason behind Allah proclaiming in the Quran that you

and the rest of the noble azwaj al -mutaharatare unlike other women?

O my Son, this is a unique honour granted to us by the Lord of creation. In His infinite wisdom and

mercy, He has distinguished us from the rest of mankind because of the relationship with our beloved,

and seal of prophets, Sayyiduna Rasulullah .

Rasulullah once said about us, Allah chose my companions. We are truly blessed for being

selected from all of creation to accompany and support them through this relationship.

If you recall the time when Thawban came to Rasulullah asking about the day of judgement,

he was asked what he had done to prepare for it. Thawban replied that he had not prepared

anything for that day, but was asking because in this life he was fortunate to be in their blessed

presence, and what would be his situation in the hereafter. You can imagine that this was a great

worry for many of the companions, as they were from many different tribes and families, in some

instances, from other areas and nations. However, because they all had great love for Rasulullah ,

they desired to be close to them in the next life.

It was after this that Jibrail brought theQuranic verse, One who obeys God and the Messenger

is the friend of the Prophets, saints, martyrs, and the righteous ones to whom God has granted His

favors. They are the best friends that one can have.(4:69)

O my Son, after this ayah was revealed, there came such a great joy in Madinah Sharif, which was

seen on every companions face. Rasulullah explained how this meant that in the hereafter a

person will be with those whom he loves. This news confirmed what everyone desired, that we would

be with Rasulullah in the hereafter.
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However, even beyond this is a unique maqam granted to theMothers of the Faithful. Although the

Sahabah will have access to Rasullulah , we have been honoured with not just access to

Rasulullah but granted to be physically in paradise with them, just as we were in life.

This companionship is forever and is not one which breaks with death. It is for this reason that whilst

other women who become widows in their life are permitted to re-marry, but we are forbidden. It was

haram for us to re-marry after Rasulullah passed away as we will always remain to be their wives,

even in paradise.

Just as Prophet hood was sealed with Rasulullah , as the last wife in that

household you also completed the collective noble qualities of the Mothers of the

Faithful. A Quranic ayah was revealed indicating Allahs acceptance of your

marriage. Even Sayyidah Aishah has described you as the most considerate and

mindful of all relationships saying, She is the most pious amongst us, and the

kindest to kith and kin.

O my Son, each and every one of the Mothers of the Faithfulpossesses great and noble qualities.

Sayyidah Khadijah was a great support for Rasulullah during the time in Makkah Sharif, and the

noble lineage of Rasulullah is only from her blessed children. Likewise, each wife had such unique

characteristics and qualities which are examples for others to follow.

It is Sayyidah Aishahs kindness that she compliments my piety, but you only have to look at her

life to realise the highest standards that she herself upholds. I remember once when she was keeping

a nafl fast and on that very same day she received one hundred thousand dhiram. She gave the

wealth to her maid and instructed her to distribute it amongst the poor in Madinah Sharif. In the

evening she had nothing in her home with which she could break her fast. This waqiah alone puts her

own piety in to perspective. It would be correct to say that of the wives, all of us put together did not

possess as much knowledge as Sayyidah Aishah did by herself. She has transmitted more HadithSharif than any of us. It is no wonder then that scholars have acknowledged that if it was not for

Sayyidah Aisha , you would not know one third of Islam.

O my son, during the last moments of Rasulullah , we were all gathered around them and we

asked which of us would be the first to meet them. They replied, The one with the longest hands.

Later we all started to measure our hands and compare whos were the longest. It was my cousin,

Sayyidah Zaynab bint Khuzaimah who was the first one to pass away. She was renowned for her

love for the poor people, and she would strive to help them. Thus, she was known as Ummul

Masakin, mother of the poor, as she was the most generous amongst all of us. It was only then that it

became clear what Rasulullah had actually indicated.

There are many waqiahs that describe the qualities of the Mothers of the Faithful, but you should

know that each of the noble wives had unique characteristics and virtues, which Allah wanted in the

blessed household of his beloved. Rasulullah married for this reason, so that the companions, and

eventually the rest of the ummah would benefit from following these examples.

Ya Ummu lMuminin, it is said that people had great respect and honour for your

family even before Islam. Many prominent members of society sought to marry into

your family because of the familys prestige and noble qualities that were instilled

in the ladies. So, is it true that even before your marriage, you were related to

Rasulullah through your family?
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Yes my son, two of my elder sisters were married to the uncles of Rasulullah . Lubaba al-Kubra

was married to Abbas , and was the second lady to become Muslim after Sayyidah Khadijah .

She is better known as Umm Fadhl , the lady that beat up Abu Lahab, who later died from this

injury.

My other sister, Salma was the wife of Hamza . They only had one daughter named Ammarah

. It was my niece Ammarah , who was only a young girl during the time of Rasulullahs Hijrah

and so stayed behind in Makkah Sharif. Sometime later, when some Muslims were leaving for

Madinah Sharif, she pleaded with them to take her along so that she could re-join the rest of her

family. Jafar , Ali and Zayd all started to put forward their own reasons as to why they

should take responsibility for taking her to Madinah Sharif. Each one was eager to become her

guardian and caretaker. Zayd said, She approached me, and I am like her uncle so I should take

care of her. Ali said, She belongs to our family and as Hamza is our uncle. It is therefore our

duty to look after her. Jafar said, I am married to herkhala and she is like a daughter to me. So I

must take this responsibility. This case was eventually presented to Rasulullah who gave the

verdict in favour ofJafar saying, A khala is like a mother, there is no difference. So he has more

right over her.

So, my family was blessed with being linked to Rasulullah through the marriages of my sisters.

Asma , my third sister, was married to Jafar . She bore him a son who was named Abdullah bin

Jafar . As Jafar was martyred in Rasulullahs life time, she was then re-married to Abu Bakr

al-Siddiq , and had a son from him called Muhammad . Also my sister Lubaba al-Sughra was

the mother of Khalid bin Walid , about whom Rasulullah said, that he was The sword ofAllah.

There is no doubt that Allah has favoured us, for undeniably, my mother is a very fortunate lady and

the envy of all mothers, to have amongst her sons in law; Rasulullahs uncles; Abbas and

Hamza , Rasulullahs cousins; Jafar , and Ali and Rasulullahs most beloved

companion Abu Bakr Siddiq . Truly these people are the elite of the elite.

Ya Ummu l Muminin, I recognise that for each person, you keep referring to their

relationship with Rasulullah , because essentially this is the link which gives

them significance and honour. However, with regards to yourself, how did your

personal relationship with Rasulullah start? In which circumstance was this

bond formed, and where did your marriage take place?

O my Son, there is truth in the saying that marriages are made in heaven as the real beginning of this

relationship is formed before our coming into this world. This is in accordance withAllahs will as thisis something that is decided by Him alone. As for the circumstances, I remember it was in the sixth

year after Hijrah that Rasulullah came to Makkah Sharif with 1400 Sahabah to perform umrah.

However, the Quraish refused them entry and stopped them in Hudaybiyyah. Following negotiations a

treaty was formed, in which it was agreed that the Muslims could not complete their umrah that

particular year, but may return the following year, for a period of 3 days only. It was truly a very testing

time for Rasulullah and his companions. Nevertheless, in accordance with the agreement,

Rasulullah returned the following year with 2000 companions to complete the umrahtul qadha.

After completing theirumrah they camped in Minah. Even today you can see the remnants of a small

mosque where Rasulullah stayed.

O my son, I was 39 years old at that time and had already been married twice. I was living with mysister Lubaba al-Kubrah in the house of Abbas. Both my sister and her husband were very worried
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about me and concerned for my marriage. As Allah had already graced me with beauty and I was

brought up with noble characteristics, I had so many proposals, but for a reason not known to me at

the time, I refused them all.

It was in Minah that I actually saw Rasulullah for the first time. Only Allah knows what my heart felt

at that moment when my eyes first caught a glimpse of them. In that intense moment I declared, the

camel I am sitting on, and myself I give to Rasulullah . Others heard what I had said and wordspread out about how inappropriate these comments were. However, my Lord verified the sanctity of

my words and a Quranicayah was revealed in my support. From His endless favours Allah blessed

me again as my marriage was endorsed through Divine revelation. Upon my sisters request, Abbas

approached Rasulullah and spoke about my situation saying, My sister in law is a divorcee, and it

is my wish and also that of my wife that you would accept her in marriage.

Rasulullah did not hesitate nor ask any questions and accepted the proposal. Arrangements were

then made for our wedding in Makkah Sharif. However, the kuffarinsisted that the Muslims leave as

the three day allowance had come to an end. Rasulullah explained what had occurred in the

meantime and also offered an invitation to the wedding. Despite, this the kuffar refused saying they

would not allow us to perform the marriage in Makkah Sharif. So, Rasulullah kept to the agreement

and left with their companions. They camped at a place called Serif, about ten kilometres out of

Makkah Sharif and it was there that ournikah was performed.

Although my parents had named me Barrah, which means righteous and good person, Rasulullah

granted me a better name; Maymuna, which is derived from yumun. It means the lady that is full of

blessings. After the marriage, I accompanied Rasulullah back to Madinah Sharif where I was made

very welcome by the otherMothers of the Faithful. Although I was only with Rasulullah for a period

of four years before they passed away, they were the best years of my life. I am sure that each of the

Mothers of the Faithfulalso feels that their time in marriage with Rasulullah was their best in life.

Ya Ummu l Muminin, even today when young people go into the presence of a

Shaykh or an Awl iya, one of the first questions they are most likely to be asked is,

whether they are married. There are debates over whether this action is considered

as part of ibadat, worship or not. Nonetheless, it does seem to be major part of

faith, but is it really that important?

O my Son, the first mention of the word zawj in the Quran is in Surah al- Baqarah where Allah said

to our father Adam , "O Adam, you and your wife, meaning partner and wife. As Adam were

alone in paradise, they wished for a companion and so whilst they slept Allah created Hawa . When

they awoke, they saw our mother and desired to be with Hawa but Allah told them that this is not

permissible unless they marry her and before that they must pay a dowry. Adam did not know

what this meant, so an angel was sent to instruct them that they should read Salawaton Rasulullah

three times and that this would be their dowry. This is how their marriage was performed.

So, the act of marriage is as old as mankind, as even the first human being could not find peace and

comfort in paradise without a partner, and was therefore ordered to get married. It is not only the

sunnah of our father Adam and our mother Hawwa , but one of the greatest and beloved

sunnahs of Rasulullah . This in short alone proves its importance.

O my son, I remember when three people once came to our household asking about Rasulullahs

regular practices. We informed them about some of their usual routines and how much they prayed,

fasted and so forth. They were very disheartened to realise that they could never measure up to what

Rasulullah could do. So, one of them promised to remain in prayer every night. The second
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pledged that he would fast every day continuously without taking a break. The third decided that he

would never get married, as this would become a distraction and an obstacle in his worship.

Eventually, when they met with Rasulullah they were asked if they were the ones who had made

these pledges. Rasulullah then said to them, By Allah, I am more submissive to Allah and fear

Him more than you. Despite this I fast, and then I break my fast. I pray, and I also rest and I marry

women. He who does not follow my sunnah is not from me.

There is no doubt that Rasulullah is the best and perfect example, as they showed how best to

maintain a balance in life. Besides, following their example and sunnah is more pleasing to Allah than

any self-prescribed actions that we can ever think of. However, it is very unfortunate and deeply

saddening to see that today people have started to calculate the benefits and losses of actions in their

own minds. They fail to realise that their understanding is very limited. In comparison, every action

and every blessed sunnah of Rasulullah holds immense benefits, great virtues and hidden secrets,

all of which are undoubtedly beyond our limited comprehension. So it is quite simple, if you want to

follow theirsunnah, then Allah will make it easy for you and you will find a way. But if you do not, then

surely you will find an excuse instead.

O my Son, Sayyidah Aishah told me that she heard Rasulullah say that when a bondsman

marries, he completes half of his Din, and that he should fear Allah for the remaining half. This shows

how important marriage truly is. When Allah says in the Holy Quran, O you who believe! Fear Allah

as He ought to be feared. And die not except in a state of Islam, what does this really mean? Even

the mufassirin, scholars have explained that here, Allah actually indicates that you should not die,

unless you are married.

Do you know that when Imam Ahmad bin Hanbals wife died and he got married again the very next

day, how all his relatives started to raise questions about his inconsiderate behaviour? Only he

understood the true value of this blessed deed and so he answered them saying that he did not want

to spend even one day without being in the state of marriage.

Ya Ummu l Muminin, clearly marriage is very important but there must be a

greater purpose which goes beyond this physical relationship. What is the wisdom

behind this bond?

O my Son, it is amusing that people are seeking deep and hidden meanings behind everything.

Intrigued by mysteries they want to comprehend beyond their capacity, but often end up more

confused. You are asking about hidden secrets when you struggle to even understand and act upon

what is apparent and simple. It is a shame that these days people do not realise the importance of

this matter, instead they are thinking that they will lose their freedom, become burdened, and have a

shorter life and so on. If only you were to adhere to living your lives, following the blessed sunnah of

Rasulullah , you would realise the real benefits of marriage. You should be grateful for yourhusbands and wives, as it is they that are saving you from hellfire. Otherwise, there are enough

temptations for you to be committing the most obscene sins every day. Indeed they are a great

source of protection for you.

Even the way Allah describes this relationship in the Quran is that you are a garment for them and

they are a garment for you, and what does a garment do? It provides cover, comfort and protection.

Rasulullah once said, O young people, whoever of you has the means should marry because this

keeps the gaze lowered and is a protection for your private area. If you are unable to marry then keep

fast because that will reduce your desires and lust.

In Surah Yasin SharifAllah says, We created everything in pairs. So, every living thing whether itbe humans, animals, plants and so on are all created in pairs. This is what zawj means, to be a
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couple, and its purpose is the continuation of human beings and other living things. Through this

relationship, which Allah has permitted, we fulfil this obligation and attain His pleasure.

So my son, marriage is unquestionably one of the most beneficial sunnahs. However, I am seeing

that these days even amongst those of you that do get married, you have reduced this to a mere

ceremony and occasion where your friends, relatives and everyone is invited apart from Allah and His

Beloved .

Ya Ummul Mumin in, I am thinking about the Awl iyawho do not need this

relationship as they have surpassed such physical desires. Like Khawaja Gharib

Nawaz, who when asked about marriage, said that they did not observe it because

of the physical gratification, but they follow this sunnahwith the intention to

maintain the practice of Rasulullah . So, when even the great Awl iyaof this

ummahfollow and uphold such traditions, it leads to reason that this deed has to

have a much greater purpose.

Most certainly, Rasulullah never did anything which did not increase their desire to be with Allah,and which did not take them closer to the Divine presence. In marriage, Rasulullah were being

humble before their Lord. Allah Almighty placed great responsibilities on them and they were fulfilling

every obligation so that they could stand before their Lord, showing humility that they have fulfilled

each and every one to the best of their ability.

O my Son, know that it is through marriage that Allah has given you this great opportunity to achieve

nearness to Him. It is a natural instinct within you to seek companionship, because in actual fact what

you are really seeking is union with your Lord. However, as that is not possible, Allah has created a

means for you to seek and achieve intimacy with someone in life. This way you come to appreciate

the joy and pleasure of this bond. Thus, the level of closeness and affection you hold in your marriage

with your partner is a reflection of Divine intimacy.

If you take care of this marriage and succeed in this temporal relationship, then Allah will grant you a

greater and everlasting union in the hereafter. In this manner, a successful marriage prepares and

helps you to accomplish this intimacy with your Lord. If you find someone in this earth who may have

many faults but you are able to overlook these and still achieve a complete union, then it is possible

for you to have union with the One is who is perfect.

As wives of Rasulullah , we were all very fortunate to succeed in our marriage and be able to refine

these noble characteristics through their love and guidance. O my son, it is through marriage and the

tests and responsibilities that this brings which allow you develop patience, mercy, compassion,

steadfastness and many other good qualities.

Ya Ummul Muminin, you explain that marriage gives us the opportunity to become

better people by developing good manners and characteristics, but how can we

decide what to look for in a wife or husband? We have heard Mawlana Shaykh

Nazim say that some people like to be waste bins, as they collect all this filth and

rubbish in themselves. How can we see who is full of waste and who is not?

O my Son, I heard Rasulullah say, Three people have the right to Allahs help; The slave who

tries to buy his freedom, the person that seeks to be chaste and avoids sinning by getting married,

and the one fighting in the cause of Allah.


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It is true what your Shaykh is saying. It is a shame for us to see so many people in this ummah who

are in this state. Allah Almighty has granted you such a great honour of being from mankind, and not

from animals and insects, yet so many of you disgrace yourselves by abusing your bodies. From the

beginning of creation certain qualities have always been considered as honourable in every society.

Keeping yourself chaste and pure has always been regarded as a noble and moral virtue by all

cultures and religions. Humanity has always been united in upholding the significance of marriage in

all societies, as they have celebrated this relationship through ceremonies, rituals and customs. SinceAllah has permitted this alliance between couples only through matrimony, it has been sanctified,

bringing with it endless mercy and blessings.

However, I am seeing that in recent times this has changed because of your negligence and

carelessness. As your Shaykh said, people have become like bins, collecting waste from here and

there, saying that they are exploring their freedom and possibilities. This irresponsible behaviour is

what is leading you to disobedience, which is the actual cause of much of your worries and troubles. I

am disappointed that you have become heedless in this manner. As you are moving further from the

traditional ways, you are becoming so accustomed to immorality that you are not even looking for

these qualities in your partners any longer. Instead, you mock and frown upon them thinking that they

are old fashioned values. However, it is very important that you seek companionship in those thatuphold such noble qualities and characteristics.

O my Son, there are people to whom Allah has granted insight, giving them the ability to recognise

the true worth of things before they blossom. Look at the wife ofAziz e Misar. She was able to see the

greatness in Yusuf , although they were only a young boy being sold in the market. She saw their

significance and persuaded her husband to buy them. Also, the daughter of Shuaib , who was able

to recognise the virtues in Musa in that one moment, when they had helped her to feed her

animals at the well. She then went to her father saying that they were strong, trustworthy and reliable.

Likewise, it was Sayyidah Khadijah who sent the proposal of marriage. Rasulullah were only

twenty five years old when they successfully returned with the trade caravan from Sham. Sayyidah

Khadijah had carefully observed their mannerism as they approached Makkah Sharif. In those few

moments, they were able to recognise the eminence of Rasulullah by simply just watching them

from their balcony.

O my son, Rasulullah once said, You should marry women who are ibkar (fortunate and

prosperous, chaste and pure), as they have sweet mouths, pure wombs and are easily pleased.

They have clearly indicated the qualities that you should look for in your partners. It is these that

attract Divine mercy and blessings, which then help in making the marriage successful and

prosperous. If you strive to be in goodness and preserve such noble virtues, then Allah will grant you

this ability and insight, so that you too may recognise such potential and worthiness in others.

Ya Ummu l Muminin, whenever Mawlana Shaykh Nazim would talk about their

relationship with Hajjah Amina, they would say, She looks as pretty to me as the

day I married her. Even after so many years, is it really possible to maintain this

level of love and affection between each other?

O my Son, this is definitely possible as the love between them does not decrease with age because it

is not based on lust. When you desire a woman, you will love and praise her, but once you have had

your satisfaction, she will no longer look like a princess and you will no longer be seen as a prince.

Within 20 days all your passion and all your love will have died. However, if this relationship is based

on love and is nurtured through selfless actions, care and consideration for each other, then it

continues to grow and blossoms over time. Your Shaykhs marriage was not perfect from the start,
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they both worked hard to reach this equilibrium and they made it a perfect marriage. This shows how

much he cherishes this marriage and the love and consideration he has for his wife.

Allah has indicated how this stability in marriage can be achieved. He uses the word Maruf, which

means kindness, praiseworthy and decency by saying to men, Live with them on a footing of

kindness and equity. Therefore, you should treat your wives with kindness and gentleness, as this

will inspire softness in them and will create a deeper affection and love for you. Your conduct withthem will reflect in their behaviour towards you. You should realise that your wives have left the home

of their parents where they were brought up with great care and love. If after marriage you treat them

with harshness, it will cause them to be constantly reminded of their time with their own families. Then

their hearts will yearn for their parents love, and will grow cold towards you.

O my son, in the last period of their life, Rasulullah had nine wives but not one of us ever

complained that we were upset, and wanted to return to our parents homes. This is how beautifully

Rasulullah treated us. We did not want to leave Rasulullah for anything. I remember when

Allah revealed the verse of Surah al Ahazab in which we were given a choice, O Prophet(Muhammad )! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, Then come! I will

make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). We all cried so muchupon hearing this and fell at Rasulullahs feet, seeking forgiveness for even the basic demands

that we made. We all said that we did not wish for anything but did not ever want to lose them. Even

all the wealth in this world was no substitute for their companionship and we could not imagine a life

without them. Indeed, we all felt this way because of the manner in which Rasulullah treated us.

Sayyidah Aisha told me that once Rasulullah were resting their head in her lap. There was a full

moon that night and all the stars could be seen in the sky. A thought came to her mind and she asked

Rasulullah if there was anyone amongst their followers who had as much good deeds as the stars

in the sky. Rasulullah told her that Umar ibn al Khattab had that many deeds. Upon hearing this

she went silent and so Rasulullah asked her to continue. Sayyidah Aisha then said that she was

expecting to hear that her father had that many good deeds. Rasulullah told her, O Humayrah,

you compare Umar with Abu Bakr ? All of Umars good deeds put together do not equal

even one of Abu Bakrs good deeds.

Sayyidah Aishah said that her face lit up and she was pleased beyond words. This is how

Rasulullah showed affection and consideration towards us. They were always very affectionate

and mindful of how we felt. Even their most simple action was full of thoughtfulness and care towards

others. It was in these simple things that our hearts were conquered and our love for them has no

bounds.

Ya Ummu l Muminin, such marriages seem very rare where both partners are

emotionally compatible and are able to sustain such consideration and

appreciation for each other over time. How can we overcome our weaknesses and

aspire to foster such prestigious characteristics?

O my son, indeed there are specific characteristics which Allah has naturally placed in all human

beings. That is why features such as boldness and bravery, determination and strength are all

associated with men. With women you see traits such as love and tenderness, care and gentleness,

compassion and sacrifice and so forth. These qualities are revealed in yourself according to the

manner in which you face each situation. You will either accept and bring out your natural instincts

and behave as you ought to, or you will act in a disgraceful manner and adopt unbefitting traits. I am

happy that even today I see such goodness in many ladies. They show great compassion and
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