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MOONST. John’s College Independent Student Publication

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Letters From the Editor

Dear Fellow Students of St. John's,

As I stepped into my position as Editor of The Moon, I was at first quite apprehensive, worrying about the workload and hours interfering with my other obliga­tions on campus. As it turned out, being Editor of The Moon was fascinatingly easy, maybe even ... suspi­ciously easy. How does this publication work? How is it that by idly watching the weeks pass, exchanging mysteri­ous glances with fellow officers, and yet basically doing nothing, that the first issue would suddenly materialize?

That was when I realized somebody else was doing my job for me. The initial officers of The Moon never did get entirely in touch after the first meeting and unfortunately the burden of this workload fell upon Julia who works in the Moon Office. She is your real editor, I thank her for handling everything so far and she is certainly more than willing to relieve herself of such responsibility so every­one who submitted something has her to thank for getting it out there.

I, on the other hand, wandered about my days, collect­ing submissions here and there, wondering if suddenly a giant phoenix would arise and if with a giant bolt of light­ening, fluttering copies of the year's first edition would gently glide down into our awaiting hands. So, while I did manage to entertain myself throughout this first month, toying with various ideas. I've in reality been quite the sorry editor. So apologies to those, particularly Mr. Dean Felch, and Mr. Anderson Dean, to whom I falsely assured a voice in our school's publication only to have failed to deliver the required information to the required people. In my defense, "the required people" is not only a vague no­tion, but up until meeting Julia today, did not exist (although the possibility still remains that I was supposed to deliver this information to myself, yet, how rarely have I run into her in the past month).

So here is a letter from the non-editor. Hope you enjoy this issue, I hesitatingly but enthusiastically aimounce the next will be out in two weeks!A.Callahan

Ana Callahan is in fact the real Moon editor, all the other editors are just imitating,. She also, in re­sponse to repeated requests, has stood up.


ContributorsNareg Seferian | Alexander Wood

Anderson Jonas | Scott Van Vechten Elaine Fortuna | Wes Vanteicher | Thomas McBee | A Number of Apologetic Fiends

The moon is the independent bi-weekly student newspaper for St. John’s College in Santa Fe, New Mexico. AS such, all opinions expressed within represent only the views of their respec­tive authors, and do not necessarily represent the views of the College, the Faculty, the Admini­stration or the Moon Editors. Issues are avail­able at no charge to all members of, and visitors to the campus. The Moon is composed of stu­dent works and all contributions are welcome, but the Editorial staff reserves the right to de­mand and indefinite amount of revision in order to uphold our strict journalistic standards and to ensure that each issue is relevant, informative, and damn fun to read.


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Letter from the Polity Secretary

Bathroom review

Hide Your Wives and Daughters

A Transcription of Last Night’s Drum Circle

Gold on the Silver Screen

Metaphysical Mad-Libs

Calliope’s Corner poetry and fiction

Novel Review

Love Letter


Pg. 4

Pg- 4

Pg. 5

Pg. 6

Pg. 7

Pgs. 8-9

Pgs. 10-11

Pg. 12

Pg. 13

Pgs. 14-15

Haiku Personals and Quotes Out of Context

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From the Student PolityByNareg Seferian

Greetings to all Johnnies. Welcome back, returning students, and a special welcome to all the freshmen. I hope the first couple of months here have been not quite, but beyond what you had ex­pected.

One of the many aspects of student life here at St. John’s is the Polity. As secretary, I have the great pleasure of inviting you all to come and be a part of the student government when we meet Tuesdays, at 5:30 pm, in the Junior Common Room.

The Student Polity Council discusses all matters pertaining to student life. There are specific sub-committees dealing with aca­demics, discipline and life on campus, namely, the Student Com­mittee on Instruction, the Student Review Board and the Student Residence Committee, but, as such, any matter can be brought before Polity and discussed.

In particular, allotments are made during meetings from the budget, which is around $30,000 annually. So, if you have a crea­tive idea about how to spend on an event for your fellow students, type up a budget request and bring it on over. Or, for longer-term planning, if you feel like setting up your own group or club, you can get officially chartered through Polity and get allocated fund­ing, provided you sustain your activities.

Polity is open to all students. Attend three meetings consecu­tively, and you get to be a member with full voting rights. For more details, feel free the grab a copy of the Polity Student Hand­book from the bulletin board across from the coffee shop in the corridor leading to the dining hall.

This is a body that is run by the students and is meant for the stu­dents of St. John’s. So, if you’d like to play an active role during your Johnnie career, come on over and let your voice be heard.

Nareg Seferian holds the strength of the universe in his hair. Such a boon was concealed between the Black and Caspian seas for eons of safekeeping.

Bathroom Review:Meem Library

By Alexander Wood

The bathroom in the Meem Library is one of the best I have encountered on the campus. The best feature of it is by far the locking door: granted, it's not perfect (you have to push the door in until you hear the 'click' for the lock to work), but it provides a level of privacy nearly unparalleled among the campus bath­rooms. Further, it is wide and spacious, providing plenty of room to do your business. The sink and toilet have always been clean when I have availed myself of it, even in the middle of the night. As if that isn't enough, it has yet to fall prey to the perni­cious replacement of paper towels with air-based dryers. The urinal is wide and can serve to rest a book or coffee cup upon if one is using the toilet, and since it is not separated by a stall wall, it is very unlikely you will absentmindedly forget that you've stored something there for the duration of your trip.

However, for all its good qualities, it is not quite the ideal bath­room. First of all, the toilet paper dispenser is located high rather than low - this is rather confusing and disorienting, as I am quite used to the toilet paper being either level with the toi­let or slightly below. One can imagine a small child using the bathroom and being unable to reach the toilet paper, leading to a distressing situation. Secondly, the door lock problem men­tioned above is a minor inconvenience. If you are in a hurry, it might be easy to forget to latch the door or to think you've latched it when you haven't, which could be quite embarrassing if someone else comes along.

All in all, the bathroom is a convenient, well-lit, generally clean, comfortable place to do your business at any hour of the day or night. It should serve as a baseline from which any other bathroom on campus should be judged.

apers: 3 plungers ayaTpoCT: 3 plungers re^ve: 3 plungers OVERALL: 3 plungers

Alexander Wood has conquered India, but the naked wise men scared him off. That and a distinct lack of Charmin Ultra Soft.

The Moon Welcomes you!But mostly welcomes submissions

Have an opinion/article./apology/poem/angry letter/unfulfilled sexual desire?The Moon is interested. Really.

SUBMIT!To [email protected], or through campus mail


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Hide Your Wives and DaughtersThe Legs at Evangelo^s

On the evening of Thursday, September 25*, the sidewalk lining Evangelo’s Cocktail Lounge in downtown Santa Fe was bathed in the brain-melting sounds of The Legs emanating from beyond the entrance. Inside the doors, the crowded bar consisted of some of America’s best looking people trying to catch the unhurried bartender’s eye in a res­pite from the frenetic hip-twisting that consumed the compact dance floor. Past the flailing bodies, in the far comer of the room, front man Brian Tillman exquisitely plucked the notes of a guitar solo with his teeth in an epileptic fit while bassist Jake Ifshin gingerly bobbed back and forth atop his amplifier. Wes Venteicher, dmmmer and dreamy “shy guy” for The Legs, had his chin glued to his left shoulder and beat the hell out of his drums with clenched teeth. The audience was ec­static—many have been to every one of The Legs’ shows in town.

The devotion of The Legs’ fans may be attributed to the band’s unique “funk / rock n’ roll” presence in the Navajo flute-dominated Santa Fe bar music scene. The Legs engage their audience; they are brimming with an infective energy. Their music is loud, driving, and often intricate. Founded in late 2007, The Legs have begun to steer away from the longer, non-formulaic songs and revamped covers that marked their earlier performances in favor of more conven­tionally structured “verse-choms-verse” songs.

such as “Revolution” and the tentatively named “Fred Zeppe­lin”, while preserving a tempered “jam” element.

The movement towards a more traditional song for­mat provides a better context for their musicianship, which bordered on unfocused in past shows, and an impetus for new types of collaboration among the band’s members. However, neither the extemporization nor the covers are gone entirely. At Thursday’s show. The Legs covered Frank Zappa’s “Ride My Face to Chicago,” Paul McCartney’s “Live and Let Die,” and Beck’s “E-Pro,” in addition to reprising several early Legs’ favorites.The Legs still draw from a deep well of improvisational crea­tivity. Venteicher’s earnest beats continue to balance the opu­lence of the guitars and serve as the group’s infrastructure. Ifshin combines his exceptional technical ability and profound funkiness to provide the perfect setting for Tillman’s danger­ous solos, often played behind his back or with the aid of his microphone stand. The Legs keep getting better at what they do: navigating the tempestuous between flamboyance and ma­chismo like genuine, big city rock n’ rollers—giving their au­diences fantastic performances along the way. course be

Anderson Jonas is an international man of mystery, thought this is largely due to the suspected inversion of his name. He insists that Bond James has nothing on him.

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A Transcription of Last Night’s DrumCircle

By Scott Van Vechten

Fig. 1,Syd Barrett’s

Equation:Musical Quality = (Talent +

Creativity) / (Drugs + Alcohol + Volume + Wankery)

It's not that I hate fun. Really, it isn't. Some of my best friends have fun occasionally, and they are only tem­porarily irritating afterwards. It's just the noise. You can only make the “The natives must be getting restless” joke so many times before everyone in the room starts to wonder whether you're extremely boring or mentally retarded. Five times, to be precise. And after you've made that most necessary and obvious of jokes, after you've firmly and thoroughly killed whatever joy it might have inspired like a boy tearing the wings off a fly, all you're left with is the noise.The goddamned noise. Imagine a parallel universe in which reading, sleeping, watching a movie, talking to friends, and sanity are all banned by the pervasive and malevolent army of a broken drum machine, and you've got my sub-free dorm on a typical Saturday night. Oh, you may try to go about your regular life, but the drums will find you. You may try to listen to your own music, write an essay, or desperately attempt to convince your friends that you aren't the most boring person in existence, but if you can't attempt these feats to the awkward, brokenrhythm of the lamentably well-meaning, you might as well not bother.Don't bother having a life, a hobby, or a regular sleep schedule, such things are for the culturally-deprived pe­ons who don't “get it.” The real St. John's has nothing to do with great books or classrooms—screw that “discussion” nonsense—^the real St. John's smells like patchouli and Junior Math. The real St. John's looks like the after-party of a Phish concert. The real St. John's sounds like shoes in a broken dryer.

Fig. 2, A —

Night’s Drum circle: —

Repeat until Security stops you.

Performance Notes: From repeat number 115-250, pretend to be a Native American and moan semi-tonally.

(The author wrote this article before any meaningful steps had been taken to improve or resolve the Sleep-Study problem. If, at the time of publishing, this issue has been resolved, the author wholeheart­edly recants the entire article as a heretical work by witches hoping to slander his good name. If it has not, please see the accompanying figures in order to more fully understand the problem.)

II'p ' r ^ p T ' i

Scott Van Vechten only removes his hat to prevent hangovers. It is rumored that his jacket can withstand a nuclear blast, but Los Alamos has yet to confirm this rumor. You have been warned.


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Gold on the Silver ScreenBy Elaine Fortuna

Here at St. John’s, we read the classic works of literature and examine early ways of thinking, seeing how one way of looking at the world was edited and changed by later writers until we finally came to our modern-day be­liefs. Unbeknownst to many, Film is the same way. Plot devices, camera tricks, and character types that are com­monplace today have actually been used since the begin­ning of film history. Even an iconic moment or line fi'om a much watched film might have been borrowed from one no one’s ever heard of (Would you have thought The Wizard of Oz’s immortal line “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain” was inspired by an old German crime film? It’s true!)

Each column will explain what the film brought to the cutting room, so to speak. All the films I review can be found in our library. For that is my motivation; to get these films checked out and to allow my fellow students to be knowledgeable both in literature and in film. Take a chance. Rent an old film. They rarely let you down.Today’s Feature Film; ‘M’

Details: M was directed by Fritz Lang, who is one of the most famous film directors from the silent era (the restored version of his Metropolis is a beauty to behold and contains special effects that would have been at home in our CGI era). Our library is fortunate enough to have a Criterion Collection DVD, which means it has been re­stored to its original glory (which means no grainy, hard to see footage). This is his first “Talkie”, and while it is in German, there are subtitles. However, as will be explained, they will only be needed occasionally.

Film Firsts: This film was one of the first detec­tive movies, and almost certainly the first movie about a serial killer. It also had the thankless task of taking this killer, whose preference is to kill little girls, and finding a way for him to be sympathetic. He was played by actor Peter Lorre, who became famous later for playing slightly creepy characters in Humphrey Bogart films (particularly The Maltese Falcon and a small but important role in Casa­blanca).

This film is what put him on the map, and watch­ing him in the film’s final hour, you will understand why.The film begins with the news that our killer is on the loose. The children of the town do not take it seriously, even creating a playground song around his mythos. One young girl is lured away by a mysterious, shadowy figure; as her mother waits in vain for her to return, we get small, poignant signs of what has transpired (Johnnies who are parents may want to look away).

Two separate investigations begin; one is the po­lice investigation, which manifests itself in searches, raids on the disreputable parts of town, and questioning. Then there is the other, less professional investigation of the criminal organizations who feel this serial killer is bad for business. Who finds him first, and what happens then, I will leave for you to discover. I will simply leave it at this; the film has moments of suspense that would put Alfi'ed Hitchcock to shame.

M is a gorgeous film. Fritz Lang was a master of cinematography, and understood the all-important rule of film; Show, not Tell. You don’t need to understand the technical details of framing, lighting, etc. to know that Lang has got it all figured out, down to a T. Consider a scene that cuts back and forth between a gathering of po­licemen and a meeting of the criminal masterminds; the cuts are appropriate and set a mood. Even in today’s mod­em, Technicolor and special-effects era, Lang’s visuals remain some of the best of all time.

As for sound...remember, this is early in the talkie era. The movie’s only soundtrack is background noise. This seems odd to us, who have grown up in the era of movie soundtracks, but if you accept this fact, you’ll find the silence to be far more effective then menacing music in the background.

The acting in this film is decent, although the only performance you will remember will be Peter Lorre’s. This is to be expected; few of the other characters are really developed, and Lorre, especially in the final scenes, is absolutely incredible. One thing that should be noted to those new to the world of old movies; what appears to be ham acting to us now was actually normal back in those days (many actors were fi'om the theater and were used to projecting to the back row, plus hominess was sort of needed in order to emote during the silent era). I mention this because you might dismiss Lorre’s final lines as ham­ming it up—it’s not only right for the time, it’s right for the character.

I can’t say much more about the film without descending into spoiler territory, so I’ll leave it at this: there’s a reason A/is often put on those “Greatest Films of All Time” lists. So I beg you; go see what all the fuss is about.

Questions? Comments? Movie Rees? Feel free to contact me.

Elaine Fortuna will grace your next card party if you treat her like a lady. She is best known for her role in ‘Carmen where she insists she stole nothing nor wore a large red hat. The Moon remains doubtful.

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Metaphysical Mad-LibsBy Scott Van Vechten

Mad-Lib 1 Word List: Concept 1:Concept 2:Concept 3:Noun 1:Past Participle:Noun 2:Noun 3:Adjective:Noun 4:

Mad-Lib 2 Word List: Concept 1:3rdPerson Sing. Pres. Verb: Noun 1:School of Philosophy 1: Adverb:Concept 2:Adjective:Noun 2:Concept 3:Plural Noun 1:Plural Noun 2:Past Participle:

Mad-Lib 3 Word List:Verb 1:Pretentious Noun 1: Adjective 1:Noun 1:Adjective 2:3rdPerson Sing. Pres. Verb: Noun 2:

Scott Van Vechten is misunderstood by the Greeks. The Greeks enslave those they don’t understand. Please henceforth adress him as "Souls”.

(NCl,(Uoc COoO o

o<u 0)

4:36 4:30DO 4:3.s






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In Old Volvos

in old volvos exhausting along the pacific coast highway,in bedrooms, where rhapsody and revel climbed up the walls, in superfluous conversations about desire, in tiled school hallways old and echoy sing­ing to class,in spontaneous laughter with a matching countenance of eee,in sauntering walks of watching light in just- beforetwilight hours,in kitchens, gathered around the isle talking promise over tea,and wherever else we happened upon, we flooded and quaked,and when we left, we molasses-ed out, our relations with time and space left vis­cous in a stunned by sensuous­ness attack of earnest glee;

these are the places where we bloomed andbecame.esj

As I’m Workingbut i'm feeling very solitary.and i'll spendthe day that's leftin my room (cleaned and putback together)with the windows openembodying kapha andthe whitman loafe,admiring the light androlling a piece of tape betweenmy fingers.i'm loyal, working.


Welcome to the Land of Entrapment

by anonymous

New Mexico is a shithole. For a time the sunsets dissuaded me.All of us in all of our glorious mental illness, and unhappi­ness, and pure loneliness stand and watch the sky turn pink and orange and reflect off mountainous clouds. The sky is big - very big. This is important.Go west young man, and blow your brains out.Search: suicide rates by stateNevadaWyomingMontanaNew Mexico

I need buildings and mountains to hold in my insides. We slip away in this terrain. The sky is so damn big.

We stepped into Allsup’s. Lotaburger. Giant. We drove up to Sonic. Burrito Spot. We stepped into Trader Joes. Whole Foods. Smith’s. Walgreens. We stepped into a desert. We stepped into sunlight.

And two aging hard-timed Mexicans stood in front of the door. I smiled weakly.“Would you like to buy some chile?”Bags of earthtone powders sat on top of a trash can. The sun was going down. The glow from inside was attracting alco­holism in beat dovm 80s BMWs. That was the time.“No thanks man. I’m alright.”I sat outside and waited for my coworker to buy beer. I stood a distance from their lonely operation, but the story was coming. Today it moved fast.

“Hey, where are you from?”“California originally.”“I want to go to California. I’ve been in Santa Fe for forty years.”“Yeah? Where are you from?”“Santa Fe.”


This sixty year old man was claiming forty and his deep brown wrinkled face asked me to let him tell me all about those twenty years that don’t exist. There’s twenty years standing in front of the 24- hour Walgreens and selling chile powder in Ziploc bags. I looked down.Welcome to the Land of Entrapment...


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An Apology to the Residentsof the Jones Dormitory Ballad of the impossible

by the Likes of a Number of Fiends for the Events Committed on the Night of September S"* 2008

On the night of September 5* 2008, several individuals under­took the smashing of glass bottles against the north wall of the Jones Dormitory. The bottle smashing was a disorderly and unjustified response to an orderly and justified request made by the dormitory’s RA to the several individuals. Smashing bottles on the dormitory wall was disrespectful to our campus, to the residents of the dormitory, and to the general spirit of community felt so deeply by the students of The College. We sincerely apologize.

How doth the clamor strike you Of bottles thrown at night?

Alarming? Some say ‘‘Charming” When considering our plight.Aye, in the throes of passion

One perhaps becomes upturned,Yet, from the Bacchic Maenads

A lesson can be learned. Pentheus, in his zealous rage.

Devoured limb by limb.Speaks volumes in his agony

To his proud, self-righteous kin. Yes... The Crime occurred as told.

Each wall-smashed bottle. Juvenile, and bold

Were our actions.«II fallait tout de pardonner, puisque

c^etait, ‘la faute de la boisson[!]^»



It's sad and lonely in my room Lit by computer glow:

I feel the need to feel someone But who I'll never know.

The Jester sings his mournful songs -- I skip the happy tunes --

And tales I hear of ladies dear And love-filled afternoons.

A darkened void upon my bed Seems like unto a face:

I feel the need to feel her now But all there is is space.

Perhaps I'll find this myst'ry girlAnd cold nights will turn warm,

But probably I'll still be here Before appears her form.

My true love miles distant lies,And think of her I don't.

She's not around to help me now, and all the rest here won't.

So sit I now before this screen.My keyboard all a-tapping, Waiting for some visitor.

Some friend, to come a-rapping.

But cursed, I think, I think I'll be To, in this room, eternally.

Of this sad state to ne'er be freeTo feel one's arms most lovingly.

Mr. Tillman, Mr. Delapp, Mr. Specland, Mr. Rothamel, Mr. McElroy


alliope’s C


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Novel Review:Jim Harrison’s The English Major

By Wes Vanteicher

Harrison’s New Novel Explores the States and an Old Psyche

Author Jim Harrison once said the most difficult part of writing a novel is titling it. Harrison’s recent book, “The English Major”, touts a simple title much like some of his other works including “Farmer” and “Wolf’, though he is best known for the more elabo­rately titled “Legends of the Fall”, which became a major film. As with some of his past works, “The English Major” captures the curiosity of a reader with the first sentence: “It used to be Cliff and Vivian and now it isn’t.”

The novel, due to be released in October, is the first- person account of Cliff, a recently divorced 60-year- old fi'om Michigan who sets out in an old Ford Taurus to see every state in America. The journey begins when Cliff unearths a jigsaw puzzle map of the coun­try while moving out of his farm house. “At dawn I decided to take the jigsaw puzzle of the United States and throw a piece out when I crossed the border into a new state.. .Dad said I would always be ‘high minded and low waged’ from reading too much Ralph Waldo Emerson. Maybe he was right.”

Cliffs “high minded” ideals are consistently undermined by reality, forming a theme in the meandering progression of the story. With self- mocking wit he often criticizes his own tenets, for example, “We English majors of a serious bent are susceptible to high ideals we paste on our lives like decals.” Cliff reflects that his ideals influenced the major turns in his life, from student of English to teacher to farmer; and eventually, to self-proclaimed artist.

The story of Cliffs life unfolds in a series of haphaz­ard ruminations sparked by daily occurrences. A bot­tle of butterscotch schnapps at a liquor store reminds him of ex-wife Vivian, who enjoyed the drink in ex­cess near the end of their marriage. A roadside nap reminds him of resting in a cherry orchard using his recently deceased dog Lola as a pillow. Sitting alone by a river he recalls feeling lonely when he was young and “sweet on the prettiest girl in the whole school.” He refers to “the high point of my erotic life

thus far” when he removed a spider from her thigh.

Cliff contrasts what he calls “biology” with imagina­tion, and the interplay of these forces often sets the course of his recollections. Nearly every woman Cliff encounters sets off a flood of lust-driven half-romantic reminiscences, wherein his thoughts often drift to other semi-related topics. Descriptions of his roman­tic encounters are frank, physical, and explicit; but sometimes they are also scattered with quotes by liter­ary figures such as Henry Miller and Shakespeare.

Imaginative ruminations make up a greater part of the story than details of Cliffs journey around the states, and the ruminations often intrude upon his daily ac­tivities. Daydreams cause him to miss several turns on the highways, and he sometimes allows these over­sights to adjust his course. One such adjustment lands

him in the company of Bert, an old friend living in the Arizona desert among a preposterous yard-full of rattlesnakes with a twenty-something “assistant” who has a proclivity toward casual nudity.

“The world is a wobbly place and so is my mind,” states Cliff. Though they are incited by random events and accord with whim more often than reason, his recollections develop in a linear manner. Harrison deftly structures the memories to provide important details early in the story, which later become context for more particular develop­ments. The recollections usually revolve around a limited cast of subjects including Cliffs ex-wife Vivian, his dead dog Lola, his parents and deceased mongoloid brother, previous students, past lovers, and his gay son Robert.

Cliffs decision to embark on his journey is impulsive, and uncertainty tinges many of his thoughts. But his contemplation is often pointed, as he searches memo­ries to find causes of his character. He finds the causes of many of his traits in his childhood and up­bringing, but remains puzzled by several fundamental questions. He asks, “If I am this solitary life within

Cliff’s “high minded” ideals are consistently undermined

by reality, forming a theme in the meandering progression

of the story.

4 Cont. page 13

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Love Letter 43cBy Thomas McBee

Wooed and seduced! The bolts upon my terrible mood buckle and burst with a sudden discharge of delightful nausea. This god has me overpowered having snuck into the secret chambers within my breast where from the center he bellows his primal nature. The scaffolds of culture warp, give way, crumble round the rising titanic frame of that red-eyed deity, that intoxicated satyr of rarefied promiscuity. At long last he has won and the deep rhythms of ecstatic revelry blister through my veins; madness sweetens my cheerful tongue; beaten, I feel as an unstrung faun, crushing the buds of sticky dawn underhoof, twirling spry in elated song, sharp horns thrust to the sky. Dance in throng my wanton nymphs! Off with you wise Apollo! Follow after our loud cries and rise to your clouds; wait amongst your Discriminations and Measure. You must abide, for this swelling tide is the heart and pleasure of your Mysteries, your most sacred laws of the world. On occasion, even you. Great Poet, require the God of Wine to regenerate your withering art.

Author Jim Harrison once said the most difficult part of writing a novel is titling it. Harrison’s recent book, “The English Major”, touts a simple title much like some of his other works including “Farmer” and “Wolf’, though he is best known for the more elaborately titled “Legends of the Fall”, which became a major film. As with some of his past works, “The English Major” captures the curiosity of a reader with the first sentence: “It used to be Cliff and Vivian and now it isn’t.”

The novel, due to be released in October, is the first-person account of Cliff, a recently divorced 60-year-old fi'om Michi­gan who sets out in an old Ford Taurus to see every state in America. The journey begins when Cliff unearths a jigsaw puzzle map of the country while moving out of his farm house. “At dawn I decided to take the jigsaw puzzle of the United States and throw a piece out when I crossed the border into a new state...Dad said I would always be ‘high minded and low waged’ from reading too much Ralph Waldo Emerson. Maybe he was right.”

Cliffs “high minded” ideals are consistently undermined by reality, forming a theme in the meandering progression of the story. With self-mocking wit he often criticizes his own tenets, for example, “We English majors of a serious bent are susceptible to high ideals we paste on our lives like decals.” Cliff reflects that his ideals influenced the major turns in his life, from student of English to teacher to farmer; and eventually, to self-proclaimed artist.

The story of Cliffs life unfolds in a series of haphazard ruminations sparked by daily occurrences. A bottle of butter­scotch schnapps at a liquor store reminds him of ex-wife Vivian, who enjoyed the drink in excess near the end of theirmarriage. A roadside nap reminds him of rest- in a cherry orchard using his recently deceased Lola as a pillow. Sitting alone by a river he calls feeling lonely when he was young and

fVes Vanteicher is a senior and a gentleman, and if you don’t think so, why you can just soak your head.



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When a man and woman go behind doors alone for more than five minutes, she will come out the wiser, and he the sadder.

-Mr. Aigla

yz>/z, ,Ly^^.

,S^y<//l^fmty, fY/Z/y /l/...

f. ok. mg/^hmt a Mg moon gom're got!

C0U the better forSubmit

-mg §ou with

I read all the way to the end of this, and all I got was this stinking

MOON!?Feeling unsatisfied?

The Moon cares, truly and deeply.But not if you don 7 submit.

Johnnies, GIs, Tutors, staff, poems, articles, pic­tures (preferably black and white) all go into the


Get your satisfaction and SUBMIT. SJCMoon@gmail or through campus mail

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Haiku Personals

If you stop playing I will present you something Louder than a drumx4177 Everybody needs some


In fathomless black Laced into sequins and silk Corrupt purityx4055

Ahi Yehudi Ani rotze yehudah You can read it? Call. x4138

Submit your haiku personals to [email protected], and let your object of lust

know just how many sylla­bles they mean to you.

No atmosphere hereJust a bunch of rocks and dustSo lonely... watching.-Moon

Quotes out of Context

God’s all powerful. He doesn’t need to be well-educated That’s why in these elec­tions I’m voting for the Devil.

-Mr. McBee-On self-interest, rightly understood

I guess sodomy just rolls off the tongue easier.-Ms. Brejla -On Onan

Every time I try and write with my pants off, I just get distracted-Mr. Goldfarb

-On the questionable value of writing period.